Trigger warnings

(216 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 01:58:01

I was wondering why there are trigger warnings on posts mentioning child deaths.

Are they there at the request of the OP? Or was there some kind of agreement among the bereaved parents of mumsnet that they wanted them? If so okay I guess I missed it.

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive. I find a lot of things 'triggering' on mumsnet not least threads about living babies but I don't get trigger warnings. I've seen them even when the thread title is quite clear. What are they for? Why are they there?

DropYourSword Wed 16-Mar-16 02:04:33

I have to say if not I find it quite offensive
hmm
Really? Where's your empathy?
I have no 'triggers' so didn't really understand trigger warnings. But I accept that they are very important for some people. And if it helps others then I think it's ridiculous for you to find them 'offensive'. You might say they were unnecessary at a push but does it really matter if it benefits someone who is already struggling?

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:09:04

I find it offensive that child death is seen as triggering but 'what funny thing did your child do today' isn't.

As I said fair enough if my fellow bereaved parents requested them I obviously missed it but I find it bemusing on threads that are quite clear in the title what they're about

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:10:26

I struggle with 'my 3mo isn't sleeping' that triggers me. I don't open the thread where's my trigger warning?

LuisCarol Wed 16-Mar-16 02:16:33

Really? Where's your empathy?

Good gracious. There is obvious pain in the OP and this is where you went?

DropYourSword Wed 16-Mar-16 02:21:34

Ok, I probably could have worded that better on reflection. And I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, it must be pure hell.
But the standard expectation of thread content on here would generally be about babies and children, so wouldn't require a trigger warning. But the death of a child isn't standard expected content and I can see why it does require one.

Klaptout Wed 16-Mar-16 02:23:37

Empathy bypass springs to mind OP.
There are a range of things that might be distressing for posters, it's different for everyone, I for one appreciate the trigger warning, to me it means approach with caution, I'm not seeing the offence with that, have I missed something glaring obvious?

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:26:30

I could probably agree on a post like 'I don't know how I'll cope' but not on one like 'my baby died today' I mean surely if you open the second you know what you're getting into.

And surely child death should be expected content throughout this site it's mumsnet and so parents post here including parents of children who've died. Child death is common, it should be as much expected content as threads about living children.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:27:47

I'm happy with a trigger warning I theory as long as they're on every post about a living baby (esp with an unclear title) I would appreciate that.

LuisCarol Wed 16-Mar-16 02:30:37

Ok, I probably could have worded that better on reflection. Thank you.

But the standard expectation of thread content on here would generally be about babies and children, so wouldn't require a trigger warning. But the death of a child isn't standard expected content I think that might be OP's point, although I wouldn't like to say for sure.

DropYourSword Wed 16-Mar-16 02:37:52

I'm sorry, but that's just unrealistic. I don't know how to discuss this without actually coming across badly, but the expectation probably is that threads are about live children. It would make somewhat of a mockery of trigger warnings because basically nearly every post would have one.
It must be absolutely horrendous to experience the death of a child, and although you say it's common, it's still far far less common than not having to go through that experience. I just don't understand what's 'offensive' about posting a clear trigger warning for something that would be a common trigger.

phequer Wed 16-Mar-16 02:39:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:42:31

But pregnancy is a trigger for many people, so are babies etc. I agree it would make a mockery of trigger warnings to put them on every thread so let's just get rid of them. I find it difficult that child death is considered a topic that needs a warning. it should be as open a discussion as sleep and weaning. It's not grotesque we don't need to hide it.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:44:02

Of course we could put them on unclear thread titles regardless of content perhaps rather than TRIGGRR WARNING in bold letters just a remark on what the thread is about

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:46:09

I am a parent! It just so happens that my baby is dead. People are going to talk about live children I accept that, if I want to talk about my dead child that should be fine. None of us need a trigger warning.

Are you having counselling?

phequer Wed 16-Mar-16 02:51:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phequer Wed 16-Mar-16 02:53:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DropYourSword Wed 16-Mar-16 02:55:41

I agree with you that it's not 'grotesque' and shouldn't be hidden away as if it's somehow shameful. There absolutely should be the ability to talk about it. But certain people, at certain points in their journey have more or less capacity to deal with things. A few months ago I had some devastating news and really take struggled to cope. I'm slowly getting there but understand that while I was processing what was happening I would want to avoid anything relating to it.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:56:08

Yes and I don't have a problem with that at all. I'm just interested as to why trigger warnings needed on child death threads but not live ones especially when the title makes the topic clear.

Yes I'm having counselling but they suggested reducing sessions to monthly as no concerns.

phequer Wed 16-Mar-16 02:58:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 02:59:03

So should mumsnet have put trigger warnings on every thread related to what you wanted to avoid. I bet there are a lot of people on here with traumatic births or infant feeding experiences who find childbirth or breastfeeding threads triggering but where are the trigger warnings?

What makes child death different?

phequer Wed 16-Mar-16 03:00:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 03:01:12

Fine but then every unclear thread title should have a trigger warning. So if my mother just died for example and I want to avoid threads where posters complain about their mothers I can. Or alternatively people could write clear thread titles.

phequer Wed 16-Mar-16 03:01:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDisillusionedAnarchist Wed 16-Mar-16 03:02:16

I said already I have no problem if the author of the thread does it but these are warnings inserted by MNHQ why?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now