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Hackers - MN is Anti-Dads. Really??

32 replies

MaillotRojoPan · 27/08/2015 19:41

From a male poster usually known as Pan.

Seeing all of the hacking activity is being reasoned as complaining that MN is anti-dads, I'd mailed HQ to offer my support, involving any quote, dialogue etc that could be a counter-presentation to that reasoning and rhetoric, outside of MN as a sort of PR offensive, and thought any other LT dad on MN would offer the same. I'd offered this a long term dad MNer ( off and on since July 2006 – so this was prior to GF and mouldies for example) with a dd who is now 15 yo. I'd come across MN after googling a particular dd-centred issue as I didn't expect her mother to 'know' all of the answers esp as we were both first time parents.

HQ Press Team mailed me asking to commence a thread about dads-on-MN, my experiences etc. This wasn't what I had in mind, BUT..it's HQ's perogative to ask this, hence the thread. 'Site' seemed the best place as it's about the hacking thing. Sooo...

MN is not 'anti-dad' . MN is a collective of individual posters who have varied opinions on lots of things. So 'MN' is pro- or anti- ; toilet brushes: trips abroad to particular countries: benefit claimants: parking in reserved car parking spaces: pornography: currently if Jeremy Corbyn would make a good Labour leader: and basically anything else anyone has an opinion on. One dips in, or out, as one goes. There is no HQ-led 'line', outside of ultimately being civil to each other, as in real life.

As above, MN is not anti-dads . I don't need all of my digits on one hand to count all of the anti-dad posts I have seen in my time here. As parents ( and some posters are not parents currently) our shared objective is the betterment of children , ours and other people's. Being 'anti-dads' as a generalisation would compromise that significantly.

Given that MN-lived experience, what the hackers (dad-sec?) appear to found the reasoning with rather, is on an 'anti-male' ethos of the site. Or a frustration that in their individual or collective experience outside of MN, they didn't 'get what they want'. So oddly, MN becomes the target, rather than the authorities with which they are frustrated. So two solutions are presented:

  1. Dad-sec etc.(and you are probably reading this..).IF your angst is in some way with a poor outcome with authorities outside of MN (eg Children's Services, Family Courts) take that issue up with them, not MN. MN have no authority there. By DDOS attacks you are trying to limit the best services available to the betterment of our children and their 'care-givers' i.e. mothers and fathers who have nothing at all to do with you. That in itself qualifies you as acting like a 'bad parent'.


  1. IF you are male and your angst is with an 'anti-male' ethos of MN, take a good look at yourself, what automatic advantages you just by being male, and where you are posting. You won't fail to notice that just about each time an 'anti-male' generalisation is made, it's shut down by a female poster. Appreciate that with good grace.


Of course I'd invite anyone to support or disagree with any of this OP, but especially the male and/or dad posters who have benefited from their time on MN.
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Anticyclone · 27/08/2015 22:57

I'm a male/dad poster who has benefited (and will continue to benefit I'm sure) from my time on MN.

I haven't got much to add, but I just wanted to show some solidarity with your OP.

I'll start by saying I think MN has a low tolerance for idiots, be they male or female.

Most MN posters are female, so most conversation is from a female POV - but there is nothing stopping us men getting involved.

Above and beyond our gender, most of us are simply parents just trying to do the best for our DC.

Robust debate? Yes. Anti-men? No, that's not my experience.

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MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 09:30

Thanks anti-cyclone!

From MN I was reassured that dd's situation is fairly common. I found out which are the 'dodgier' chat rooms/sites for children, how to maintain an interest in playing a musical instrument, what girl friendship groups really mean - as well as masses of non-dad/parent things eg techy stuff, what to google and more importantly what to def. not google.Smile

anyone else?

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SheldonsSpotOnTheCouch · 28/08/2015 12:07

Is this the best place for this to be? Seems to me it might get missed being hidden in Site Stuff. Don't know the best place for it though. Chat?

I haven't noticed an anti-dads vibe on here. Maybe i'm reading the wrong threads? Abuse, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia and bigoted views are not tolerated here and rightly so. Neglectful or abusive parenting is not tolerated regardless of the sex of the parent.

I've seen many a moan about MILs but i don't see them trying to shut down mn. Because one or two bad MILs doesn't mean they're all bad. Some MILs are a nightmare. Some fathers are wastes of space. Some mothers are neglectful. Some cats are bastards Smile. There's no need for the majority to feel offended.

Interesting point about dadsec taking down a site which provides support and information for the betterment of children therefore proving themselves to be against the betterment of children. I hadn't thought of it that way.

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MephistophelesApprentice · 28/08/2015 12:16

I'd say this site is pretty even handed on most issues, gender ones included. For most view points an alternative will be raised and while debate can get a little edgy at times most outright prejudice of any stripe appears to attract automatic resistance.

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MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 18:54

Sheldons - take your point utterly - I've responded to the HQ Press Team to ask Techy to move it to Chat but that doesn't seem to have happened yet.

Still the OP does ask anyone to provide evidences/comment, not just dads or males, so I am sure HQ may get round to making it 'more easily available'.

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MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 19:12

or of course the OP is too long and involved and no-one gets to the end of it.....or folks do think MN is anti-dads! Shock

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Slammerkins · 28/08/2015 19:17

I think it's a foregone conclusion that MN isn't anti Dads or anti Men or any of that guff that's been spouted.

We don't really need a roll call of Male posters stating the obvious, do we?

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Egosumquisum · 28/08/2015 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Egosumquisum · 28/08/2015 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 19:28

I'd didn't wish a sort of role call. It was an initiative/offer to MNHQ from me re the alleged 'anti-dad' reasoning - nothing really to do with the trans-sexual debates which I know are hotly contested.

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MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 19:30

e.g. I am pretty sure dad_sec couldn't care less about trans issues.

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Egosumquisum · 28/08/2015 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slammerkins · 28/08/2015 19:41

I'm struggling to see the rationale behind asking a male poster to counteract the hacking tbh.
Why would their words have more weight than those of female posters?

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Egosumquisum · 28/08/2015 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 19:43

Sure, but as I'd said, count up the 'anti-dad' specifically posts over the years (which is provided as a reasoning) and they are pitifully few compared with the dad_sec angst and alleged complaint.

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MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 19:58

Re the male/female 'voice' in this? Insofar as dad_sec is open to any negotiableness, the female/mum's voice would be easily dismissed. In this circumstance the male/dad 'voice' on MN has much more 'potential'.

So dad_sec may have the techy knowledge and resources to take down a parenting website temporarily, but my offer, fwiw, was to intervene as a dad to say 'not in my name, and you are doing a dis-service to all of us dads who put our children first and not our individual anger at stuff outside of MN's remit, unlike you'.

iyswim.

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Slammerkins · 28/08/2015 20:01

Is this for real? Grin

Oh, ummmmm, off you go then. Best of luck with that. Am sure a Father Voice will work. Honestly Grin

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ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/08/2015 20:07

I'm pretty sure the site wasn't hacked because it is "anti-dad". It was hacked because a vulnerability was noticed whilst the site was being trolled.

" Dadsec" is just doing it for the lulz. Kek.

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UnbelievableBollocks · 28/08/2015 20:30

Erm. Ok then. Like a bunch of hackers are going to stop in the track because A Man Has Spoken.

Thank goodness poor little Mumsnet has A Man to defend us. Maybe you can stop the site getting hit on in bars as well by you slinging your arm around its shoulder and saying "back off, mate, this site's with me."

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GurlwiththeCurl · 28/08/2015 20:52

I think I understand where Pan is coming from. There have been threads on here lately asking men to stand up against other men harrassing or attacking women. The "not in my name" idea.

So when Pan is standing up and saying just that and asking other men on MN to join him, I think it is a bit unfair to greet that with sarcasm.

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MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 20:55

Unbelievable - well I'm sorry you interpret my posts in that way. That isn't my intent, nor is it the interpretation that would be commonly held.

I don't think the attack is random at all - it's more probably a bunch (or one) of disgruntled males wishing to close down a valuable on-line resource for women. And of course I don't expect them (him) to take massive note of whatever I have to say about it.

It seemed to me though a chance to express what value as a dad I have gotten out of MN over the years, and by that dint my dd - and so ask, or even just suggest, other dads and males to express that and be distanced from actions that ultimately contrive against the betterment of our children.

I'd liaised with HQ over this, this week, and this was the cue they provided, fwiw.

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MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 20:58

thank you Gurl - that was in my mind also. And as a v long-time male poster, there was a bit of 'responsiblity-taking' being invited, as I saw it.

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Blistory · 28/08/2015 20:59

Unfortunately it's clear that a lot of men only listen to other men. With that in mind, I don't see this as a male poster speaking on behalf of women but against the perceptions of others from a male perspective. And I'll happily accept any support in the spirit it was intended.

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MaillotRojoPan · 28/08/2015 21:00

thanks Blistory too.

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GurlwiththeCurl · 28/08/2015 21:00

Yes, Pan, I was thinking of Buffy's thread on FWR "Not all Men" and the long discussion that it generated.

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