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'Sharenting' (posting pics/Tweets/blogs about your kids): love it or loathe it?

45 replies

HelenMumsnet · 18/05/2013 11:15

Hello. There's an article in The Guardian today about "sharenting", suggesting that parents who blog, Tweet and share pictures about all aspects of their children's lives could be doing their children harm by crossing the boundaries between public and private life.

Would you consider yourself a "sharent"? What form does your "sharenting" take: Facebook updates? Tweets? Blogpost? And do you think folks are vastly overdramatising the dangers of your children growing up with such a huge digital footprint?

If you're not a "sharent", does other people's "sharenting" enthrall, amuse or just annoy you?

Do please share your thoughts here.

OP posts:
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piprabbit · 18/05/2013 11:22

Horrible word - I think MN should leave it to wither and die instead of encouraging it.

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Piemother · 18/05/2013 11:22

Just bought the guardian....
I don't share photos of my dc on Facebook and only very occasionally on other social networking. Mostly because I don't want the images sold to 3rd parties and I like a bit of privacy.

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WouldBeHarrietVane · 18/05/2013 11:44

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WouldBeHarrietVane · 18/05/2013 11:45

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JollyOrangeGiant · 18/05/2013 12:13

My facebook is pretty much entirely DS. However, I'd tell anyone I met in real life about how wonderful he is too. It's not just FB. If anyone doesn't like it they can take me off their friend's list.

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Cravingdairy · 18/05/2013 12:27

I agree with piprabbit.

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AmberLeaf · 18/05/2013 12:28

I have put pictures of my children on facebook, I tend to ask them if it is ok first though. I don't do it very often though.

I don't care what anyone else does.

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LaundryLegoLunch · 18/05/2013 12:49

I do post pics of my kids on Facebook but I don't have loads of 'friends' and I do see it as a keeping in touch thing. I'd never put anything inappropriate or embarassing on though. And I'm quite careful with my own online security too.

I find 99.9% of child-focused blogs excruciating. They are either smug-filled uber-mums doing lots of creative stuff to with their kids or utterly dull normal life stuff. Also with blogs you have NO idea who is reading it which I'd find weird.

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TonytheFish · 18/05/2013 12:55

I put pictures of my children on Fb. We live in a different country from all our family. Every 6 months or so though i go through my albums on Fb and make them visible only to me. Same with my other activity, such as Status' (Stati?)

So while I have albums on there from the last 6 years, the only visible ones are ones I have done this year.

it is a good way of sharing with family and then I use it like a photo storage facility for me!

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TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 18/05/2013 12:58

I don't mind FB scattergunning of 345 pictures of The Week That Was In Junior's Life.

But dear God and all the angels, spare me the mummy blogs.

I have said it many times, and I'll say it again, just because everyone can write, doesn't mean everyone should. And the fact that a small person came out of your nethers does not make what you have to say any more interesting than it was before this amazing event. so shut the fuck up and get a life

And what LaundryLego said. They (mummy blogs) are generally just piss boring.

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YoniBottsBumgina · 18/05/2013 13:01

I don't see it as any different to sharing a funny/embarrassing story on the phone to a friend which I certainly remember my mum doing, she'd tell the same thing multiple times to each person she was having a catch up with. I rarely talk to my friends on the phone.

With photos, in years gone by the funny family photos would be stuck in an album and brought out at every gathering seemingly forever. On facebook etc and with smartphones there's a new funny moment every week and the photos aren't singled out, they will be forgotten in a week or two and the photos relegated to a folder with 1000s of other family photos, only to be vaguely glanced at again.

I suppose I just think it's unlikely and a bit hysterical to worry that your child's future employer might be googling them and care that they once had a tantrum in a funny place when they were 3. Plus I don't tend to mention DS in photos with his full name, just his (common) first name or "my son". And facebook is friends only so again, to me no different to telling your friends a funny story which parents have always done.

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WouldBeHarrietVane · 18/05/2013 13:14

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TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 18/05/2013 13:15

Oh yes, definitely. I recruit and always and me and my boss always but always do Facebook stalking first.

As Bridget Jones would say , a brown shoe there, a white sock and a Hitler moustache here, is sometimes all you need to see.

Sad, but true.

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WouldBeHarrietVane · 18/05/2013 13:31

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LadyLech · 18/05/2013 15:24

I put photos, status updates etc about my children on Facebook. I like to see / hear about my friends' children who all live apart and I don't get to see them too often. I do sometimes find the baby ones a bit boring as babies don't really do anything. I also find the smug ones quite annoying, but don't mind a proud mum one, so long as they are balanced with the 'my child is driving me insane' ones.

On my Facebook, I gave it set so that only close friends (ie family or those with children) get to see the posts about my children. My 'acquaintances' don't as I figure it would o my bore them. I put up details of my daughters gym stuff (mostly for family to see), but also funny things my children say do, and the odd frustrated one when they annoy me. So long as they're balanced, I like to see what my friends children are doing. I am actually interested in their lives and seeing how they grow!

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Tee2072 · 18/05/2013 15:28

What does everything need a new word? Confused

Yes, I share pictures of my son online. My family lives on the other side of the world, it's the easiest way for them to see him grow.

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KatyDid02 · 18/05/2013 15:29

I don't post pictures of my youngest on FB. My oldest uses FB herself and so she might occasionally put a picture up but that only tends to be if one of her friends posts one - for example a friend just put up a video of DD doing sports. Generally we don't, to quote my DD "I can't see the point of FB" so there isn't much on there of her.
I sometimes mention them in a status but not by name. My privacy is set to be very tight and I select who will see it on a post by post basis, e.g I posted the sports video but only aunts, uncles and cousins could see it.

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moisturiser · 18/05/2013 15:38

I hate it. I don't have an issue with Facebook, but blogs really make me uncomfortable.

Take Kelle Hampton. Three years ago her blog took off. She has thousands of followers, has had a book deal, an army of fans. And yet much as I think she's spread so much awareness of Down's it seems to have strayed into her exploiting her dcs. There is a massive group of people on various sites voicing criticism, accusing her of exploiting them (particularly because her dds are shy, she has put their address and name of their school freely online, she literally posts photos of them doing anything and everything; naked in the bath, potty training) and it's gotten ugly. You only have to go on a site like 'Get off my internets' to see the vitriol.

I keep thinking, it's not worth it. It might be lovely to share your dcs with the world but ultimately you are choosing to put them out there when as adults they might be upset that you did. Personally I'm glad my childhood memories and photographs are private and that's not even getting onto the safety issue of unsavoury people viewing the photos and access to info like schools.

I can't look at most mummy blogs in the same way now. Ok so most of them don't have the same number of followers, and often no names are used, but if you start sharing photos of your children, when do you stop? When they're 5? 10? 15? What about their privacy and their dignity?

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Nehru · 18/05/2013 15:40

FUCKING AWFUL

almost as bad as the word "sharent"

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KingRollo · 18/05/2013 18:36

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TiredFeet · 18/05/2013 19:29

I'm not apologetic about posting a fair number (maybe 30-50 ish a year) of pictures of ds on facebook. But he is only 2 and we live 100s or 1000s of miles from family and friends and I know they appreciate it. I also do a very occassional post about something he has said or done. But I am selective about what type of pictures/stories I share publicly.
Agree with the comment that very unique names make this more 'high risk' but the pictures are under my name not ds's and my privacy settings are high

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TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 18/05/2013 19:47

TiredFeet, that's nothing. I have hidden FB friends who post that quantity every sodding weekend.

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TiredFeet · 18/05/2013 19:56

I suspect no one looks at that many pictures of someone elses life thebirds Grin

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TiredFeet · 18/05/2013 19:58

should clarify as well, I do think the word "sharent" is truly hideous!

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cantreachmytoes · 18/05/2013 20:01

I consciously don't put pictures of my DS on FB. In total there are probably about 3 and none have his name under them. I don't trust FB.

I have a friend who updated his FB status all throughout his wife's labour, until I embarrassed/shamed him into putting down the phone and being with her. 2 or so hrs after their DD was born, he posted pics of her being delivered. Mother isn't visible, but their DD's genitals are. He is a lovely, lovely guy, had wanted kids for ages and was full of puppy-type excitement, but I just felt so sorry for the DD. once something is online, you have list control of it for eternity.

I also have friends who post photos of their scans and I feel that the poor child isn't even entitled to privacy in the womb.

I'm probably totally over-sensitive though! Smile

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