deleted threads again, sorry.

(81 Posts)
grumpygov Fri 26-Apr-13 23:25:36

I am a bit miffed that a thread was deleted today 'for the OPs privacy' when it was blatantly because the OP got a bit of (pretty reasonable and mostly civil) stick and didn't like it. They hadn't given a load of identifiable details, they were just having a huff.

It really spoils it when whole threads disappear sad grumblegrumble

Snazzynewyear Sat 27-Apr-13 18:36:41

Sorry, Helen, on reflection I will rephrase that simply because I don't want to be terse with you personally. But the situation I described earlier and referred to above did indeed happen - ironically, the thread about it isn't here anymore as when it was decided that it had become too attacking of the poster in question, MNHQ then deleted it. Your colleagues may remember this one if it wasn't you on duty that time.

Snazzynewyear Sat 27-Apr-13 18:26:20

Helen, I think actually you do when you believe posters are 'good eggs' regardless of what's been actually posted. Check with your colleagues.

So, I've just had another look at "talk guidelines" and seen the bits on thread deletion about "being here to make people's lives easier" and if you have "a pressing reason" to ask for a thread deletion to get in contact (via report post ?)
Probably should have read more of the rules a few years ago - but then I'm the sort of person who eg. when playing a board-game, never reads the rules first, but just picks it up as I go along smile

Well Helen, I'm not sure about your policy. Do you say anywhere that you will consider requests from an OP for the thread to be deleted ?
Or have I got the general impression that you won't unless there are privacy issues ?

It might be more straight-forward sometimes if an OP could say "This isn't going how I thought it would and I've found people's responses very upsetting and un-helpful, I wouldn't normally ask, but could you consider a deletion? I feel the whole world has taken against me !"
How do you think you'd respond to a request like that ?

Many posters put so much into raising others spirits for example when someone is at rock bottom on other threads - I think a compassionate and individual case by case response by HQ is definitely in order.
Sometimes everyone attacking the OP can be worse than a bun-fight I'd have thought ? Almost a case of bullying if they become sufficiently isolated and attacked by everyone else ?

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate Sat 27-Apr-13 15:46:35

I do think that the OP had probably risked privacy issues. If I was the ex, I think I could have worked out it was me. There can't be that many of that exact situation playing out across the country.

But I do think MNHQ need to think carefully about deleting when the OP has basically gone 'I don't like this, it's going. I am getting it deleted.' the way the OP here did. I agree with MaryZ. She basically got her own way by throwing a tantrum - and I do like to teach my kids that those never work.

I suspect that, whatever happened to the thread, some home truths have been planted in the OPs head, which I hope long term is good for her kids.

Tee2072 Sat 27-Apr-13 14:41:34

Hull HQ check much longer threads than that all the time. The length has nothing to do with it.

I don't care if a thread is deleted because the OP wants it deleted. But in that case there needs to be consistency. And a policy that if the OP wants a thread to go, it goes.

The reason for the shouts of "privacy" is because if a thread doesn't go the way the OP thinks it should have and they don't like the responses, they know that if they shout "privacy" it will usually be pfft'd

HullMum Sat 27-Apr-13 14:01:46

I see your point, but I think it is because they have got a do not delete policy, posters have to claim their privacy has been put at risk. and mnhq can't check a 29 page thread just to confirm it not.

Fair enough, HullMum, but then it should be up front and honest and just say "Thread deleted at the OP's request"

What has got me and some other's backs up is the "thread deleted for privacy reasons" when if you'd read the thread there is nothing identifiable there.

HullMum Sat 27-Apr-13 13:54:10

I don't see why threads shouldn't be deleted at the ops request. If the thread has turned nasty or she just feels it has, so what? This I "invested" my time on the thread whining is bull shit. No, you passed the time on an internet forum, it provided some entertainment value, and thats it. Your "investment" is certainly not so valuable and important it's has to stay at the expense of someone else. Not having the power to delete my own threads or comments has discouraged me from posting certain things in the past.

Tee2072 Sat 27-Apr-13 13:32:14

Who me? I didn't mean ME, Maryz!

Oh to say such a thing!

::flounces::

MadBusLady Sat 27-Apr-13 13:23:59

Balloon That was particularly egregious. But I do think the OP must have been shocked out of her wits. I think she was prepared for a bit of stick for being unfaithful and expecting a mix of "Run to the arms of your lurve" and "stand by your man", so that she could bellyache in some more huge long emotionally incontinent paragraphs. I think it genuinely didn't enter her head that anyone would say what everyone did. And some people's response to that is "WAAAAH, MAKE THE DIFFICULT THOUGHTS GO AWAY!" She sounded very young.

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Sat 27-Apr-13 13:14:18

Why Tee, surely you have never been deleted shock?

I certainly haven't [prim]

Tee2072 Sat 27-Apr-13 13:12:22

Anyone who thinks 'regular' posters never get deleted should have a look through the boards. grin

grin

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Sat 27-Apr-13 12:55:06

<Hands Freddie large brown envelope>

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 27-Apr-13 12:54:41

seeker

The only people who can get threads deleted are school governors or members of the PTA.

<coops, wrong thread>

Ha! What if the MNHQer deciding on deletion (or not) is a school governor or member of the PTA? Is that top trumps?

seeker Sat 27-Apr-13 12:50:44

The only people who can get threads deleted are school governors or members of the PTA.

<coops, wrong thread>

I agree with Maryz (again) grin

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Sat 27-Apr-13 12:39:13

I know that Helen, and I accept you are in a "can't win" situation.

One teeny suggestion though. If an op posts anything along the lines of "nyer, I'm going to get this deleted you bjunch of bjullying bjitches", you shouldn't delete on principle.

grin

Thank you Helen.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 27-Apr-13 12:37:36

Freddiemisagreatshag

I agree with Maryz.

You have mail, Freddie. smile

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 27-Apr-13 12:37:21

Maryz

No, there is a third issue:

Issue 3: the mumsnetter on duty giving in to a particularly, erm, insistent op.

So if I email and ask politely for my thread to be deleted (either because I am upset, or have made an arse of myself), I will politely accept a polite refusal. As Freddie did with hers. See, all PARD-like grin

But if I spit out my dummy, have a hissy-fit, start insulting everyone and everything onthread, start naming names, repeatedly email mumsnet, and pretend that someone I know has seen the thread, then it is easier for the mnetter on duty just to say "fuck this for a game of cowboys, I'll delete the fecking thing".

Which I sympathise with.

But in that case, you should say "We don't normally delete entire threads, but if you are precious care enough to go completely bonkers, we will probably give in to the pressure.

Well, that may be true in some cases but it's really a (rather annoying) subset of Issue 1, innit? <pedant>

Let's just say it's not unknown for us to ask very politely exactly what RL details could have been disclosed or what it was about the details on the thread that caused this RL person to think the thread was about them.

We hope you'd know us well enough to trust that we can usually tell what's going on (see my post earlier about us being well hard).

Obviously, though, any deletion policy that relies on looking at each case individually and in context, rather than having blanket rules, will mean some folks will think we're inconsistent. I'd like to think we're pretty damn consistent in our overall approach, though, and also as transparent and honest as possible about what we're doing, especially when we (occasionally) get it wrong.

I agree with Maryz.

Maryz Cote D'Ivoire Sat 27-Apr-13 11:58:55

No, there is a third issue:

Issue 3: the mumsnetter on duty giving in to a particularly, erm, insistent op.

So if I email and ask politely for my thread to be deleted (either because I am upset, or have made an arse of myself), I will politely accept a polite refusal. As Freddie did with hers. See, all PARD-like grin

But if I spit out my dummy, have a hissy-fit, start insulting everyone and everything onthread, start naming names, repeatedly email mumsnet, and pretend that someone I know has seen the thread, then it is easier for the mnetter on duty just to say "fuck this for a game of cowboys, I'll delete the fecking thing".

Which I sympathise with.

But in that case, you should say "We don't normally delete entire threads, but if you are precious care enough to go completely bonkers, we will probably give in to the pressure.

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