Vipers' nest? Come counter our hissy rep with your stories of Mumsnet Niceness

(486 Posts)
HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 12-Apr-13 10:42:32

Hello.

Well, it's been bit of a week, hasn't it? <understatement>

And we don't know about you but we think it's time folks outside MN knew a bit more about the lovely side of Mumsnet. All this stuff about harridans and vipers' nests kinda feels a bit lopsided to us - and is certainly making us pull on our Uggs wink and want to redress the balance a bit.

We're really chuffed to see such kind words about MN on Talk at the moment and also to see blogs like MmeLindor's that focus so beautifully on the "other side" of Mumsnet.

But we also want to publish, for all the world and the odd tabloid journo to see, a kinda showcase/archive of all the Lovely & Nice Things Mumsnetters Have Done over the years. And we'd really like your help with that, please.

Obviously, we have lots of Mumsnet Loveliness in mind already: ranging from Woolly Hugs to the Christmas Appeal and including everything from the lost toy on Blackpool Pier to the small acts of kindness shown every day from one MNer to another in need of help, advice or support.

But we really want you to tell us, too, about the Lovely Things you've seen (or taken part in) on Mumsnet. Please post them here - with links to the threads if you possibly can.

We'll read them all and, when we've run out of tissues, we'll publish some of your favourites for all the world to see.

Oh, and here's a pic of (warm and lovely) nest of vipers, courtesy of the fab women behind Woolly Hugs, to kinda set the tone smile

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 18-Apr-13 14:57:58
Munxx Mon 15-Apr-13 20:27:59

I have made some incredible friends on MN, friends who help my hand through miscarriage, refluxy babies and nights alone due to my husbands job.

Friends who have virtually jiggled the baby for me, made me brews and wiped my tears.

Friends who sent me flowers and vouchers when my heart was breaking in two. Cards when RL friends floundered. Friends who sent me flowers and gifts when my DC2 was born.

On another thread, fellow Brookers who cheered and held hands through the hell of TTC.

And finally the wonderful thread in classics about AIBU for toddlers. Literally has me on the floor roaring everytime.

I have often stepped away from MN when it has got tough but I always come back.

Thank you, you know who you are.

Dawndonna Mon 15-Apr-13 18:28:17

I am very isolated these days. We lost dhs care so I have to be here. I found this place.
There are people here with whom I disagree, vehemently some days. Those people will often pm me to check how I am. I said I was taking a break a while back because the odd Astroturfer was getting to me. The pms I got from a good many people, some of the people with whom I regularly joust, were fabulous.
There are also the people I have to pm occasionally, just to say, I'm Aspie, am I getting it wrong. They are always met with unfailing kindness.
Thank you Mumsnetters.

roundtable Mon 15-Apr-13 15:35:49

I had to go to Dubai a month after my first baby was born and got loads of advice and met up for a coffee with a resident MNer there.

I had a fright with some scans of my ds2 when there were abnormalities. A very lovely MNer inboxed me with support. I was so grateful for it as we hadn't spoken about it to many people in RL.

I'm always amazed by the support people on threads give and I hope, once my life becomes less chaotic, I'll be able to do the same.

Molehillmountain Mon 15-Apr-13 13:28:01

Careful HelenMumsnet-you know what we're like. You'll be buried in boxes of tissues sent in by mumsnetters by the end of today!

BikeRunSki Mon 15-Apr-13 11:31:23

The parenting advice I have had is great. Actual advice (and experience) from actual mums, who do not have their publisher's/health authority/etc agenda to follow. Sometimes just knowing that mine is not the only 18 month old who still wakes up in the night and mine is not the only 3 year old to hold in his poo, helps. I've met a few mn'ers, but the anonymity makes me ask for hlep far more readily than I would with people I know.

KnottyLocks Mon 15-Apr-13 11:29:16

When I joined MN I was living in limbo. My health was pretty poor; I was at home on sick leave and going through a battery of tests. I had far too much thinking time, or rather overthinking time on my hands whilst the medical bods tried to work out what was wrong with me. I discovered MN whilst googling my symptoms (I know, I know grin) and what I discovered became the very thing I needed: a hotbed of humour, compassion, education and warmth.
Thankfully the bods finally found something that sorted my physical health and I found here on MN something that kept me sane, and it still does.

I have laughed, cried, shouted and sighed so many times. Sometimes all in one day.
I am constantly in awe of so many people on here: the strength, wisdom, bravery and love shared here. The enormous support shown when people need it most, often by people who face challenges and heartbreak themselves. I certainly know that what is seen on the surface of this place on the threads is only a fraction of the support that goes on, continued via PMs and things sent to folks, Woolly Hugs and quick whip rounds, etc.

I have made some very dear friends... some of them I have yet to meet smile

This place supported me when I needed it most. I hope to do the same.

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 15-Apr-13 10:47:45

greengoose, Merryn is a beautiful name.

Congratulations on your pregnancy thanks

Mouseface Mon 15-Apr-13 10:47:29

Awww, HelenMNHQ

Here, have these luxury Kleenex with added aloe vera to help prevent chaffing and sore noses grin, a brew and a few chocolate covered biscuits too. xx

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 15-Apr-13 10:09:30

Thank you, thank you for all your posts thanks thanks

We will distill them all into a permanent gallery of Mumsnet Niceness and let you know when it's published.

Please bear with us, though. We have some tissue-management issues to sort out first...

champagnesupernova Mon 15-Apr-13 09:40:42

What others have said - the sense of community
If you want specifics while none of mine are massively life changing in the big scheme of things they made a huge difference to me: -

The MNer who came to visit me and my new baby after we exchanged PMs about her and then introduced me round and about to everyone.
(MN as Austen-esque introductory letter wink)

The MNer who sent me a maternity dress to wear to a wedding when I asked what I should wear on S&B and she said "you should wear one like x, hang on, just borrow mine)

The MNer who sent me advice about how to complain about a planning application which was going to have a huge effect on us (we followed her advice and the app was rejected)

Watching the support that goes on here keeps me grounded

Plus the whole place is full of so many inspirational women whether they're posting about something as trivial as what to have for dinner, or as serious as how to leave an abusive relationship, they are all amazing and I am proud to be a MNer.

I found EMTWL (eat more to weigh less) through MN, and actually like love my body now. I'm even looking forward to cracking on with shifting the pregnancy weight once this one is born. All the support offered on those threads turned a daunting task into a fun one.

I've had read so much advice about baby/toddler care. Envelope necks can be taken off downwards! (who knew! grin) make up sponges for suncream and so many more. I've had advice on DIY when actual DIY websites have left me unsure, solved the mystery of the office phones not working, and saved many (more) arguements over housework.

On a more serious note, I've had advice and support, even indirectly, that helped me to process a past abusive relationship, so I finally no longer blame myself.

I really feel that those who think we're an angry bunch of screeching harpies have either never really imersed themselves in MN, or they know that it's a lie, as Chubfuddler said.

Chubfuddler Mon 15-Apr-13 06:19:39

This point has probably bed made, and I am probably turning into a bitter, dried up rad fem as I get older, but sadly I think it is precisely because MN is a place where women gain support from one another, and in a space they can control themselves, particularly with relationships problems, and without reference to men, that puts MN in the firing line of the likes of the Daily Mail.

We don't need to prove to them that this is a place where in the whole women give and receive support. They know. That's why they hate it.

Shagmundfreud Mon 15-Apr-13 05:45:06

After going self employed I developed a phobia about doing my tax return and left it undone until I had been fined hundreds of pounds by the IR. My anguished post about this as the January deadline approached resulted in kind mumsnetters holding my hand and taking me through the process step by step. One mn, a qualified accountant, gave me free advice on the phone which totally saved my bacon and a shed load of cash. I was so, so grateful.

I've also had wonderful ongoing advice and support here from Maryz and Flow and others on the parenting teenagers board and on the special needs board. Don't know what I would have done without it - life with an angry and defiant teenager and an autistic 7 year old living under the same roof is a massive challenge. I've not met with as much kindness and understanding anywhere as I have here.

honey86 Sun 14-Apr-13 23:54:48

i remember seeing lemontruffles' post when she sadly lost her DH sad i felt like hugging her through the screen, my heart broke for her as ive been through that before myself, when my former DP died suddenly. the most heartbreaking, lonely, lost feeling ... i hate to see others go through it...
so glad mn gave her support at such a tragic time.

mumsnet can be a real lifeline when you feel at your lowest thanks

UmBongo Sun 14-Apr-13 23:37:48

I struggled with conceiving dd, we had a long tough 3 years including a mmc. The conception threads were a fantastic support all through. I am still on there occasionally to help and encourage anyone else who is still in that position. The help I got to get me through the mmc, and to get past my baby's due date was invaluable to me.

As birdsnotbees said above, women being nice and supportive to each other does not make news to sell newspapers.

I LOVE MUMSNET. It makes me laugh, cry and also helped me stop crying.

MummaBubba123 Sun 14-Apr-13 22:57:50

I've been feeling depressed at the overwhelming mess I've created in my house. I posted only days ago about it and have had some wonderful advice - no judgements. I've even found someone who has offered to mentor me through The Clear Up. I've gone from feeling isolated by the overwhelming nature of such an embarrassing situation, debilitated and annoyed with myself, to feeling empowered and supported. I'm onto it!

lambbone Sun 14-Apr-13 22:25:35

Thanks to the lovely mumsnetter who delivered chocolate to my DD1 as she struggled in her early weeks at university. She's very happy now and doing very well.

Thanks to those lovely ladies who told me to pull my finger out of my arse and stop flapping about when my DH was having a breakdown 250 miles away. Just what I needed at that point- benign dictatorship! Hard to see straight sometimes when things come unravelled. There's always an mnetter to blow away the cobwebs.

letsgetreadytoramble Sun 14-Apr-13 21:55:42

Becoming a mum was the most overwhelming thing that had ever happened to me. Despite the support I had in RL, I desperately needed to ask the advice of people who were going through the same thing as me, or who had recently experienced something similar. MN was the only place I could go at any time, in my PJs with my hair full of sick. The support and advice was so generous and unstinting, it made everything so much easier for me, knowing that I wasn't the only person to feel like they'd been hit by a ton of bricks and then been left to just get on with it. People who don't understand MN are lucky that they've never been in a position to need such support.

McKayz Sun 14-Apr-13 21:53:41

I just thought of OnlyJoking's threads about her DH. I cried and cried at those threads. MN was brilliant in being there to collectively hold her hand.

I have some absolutely wonderful friends from mn that I feel I have known for years.

McKayz Sun 14-Apr-13 21:46:56

Oh Greengoose I'm so pleased to hear you're expecting. I was in the June 2012 group and often think of you and Merryn.

MsDeerheart Sun 14-Apr-13 21:12:47

Just a small thing but we relocated during a difficult time for us and I got such good advice and also found a brilliant house to rent. I don't think I have come across much nastiness and if people are nasty they get pulled up on it - what you don't is people being un-critical -but that is what I like about it

Agree with hazey, I have found the loveliest support here on MN and have also met some lovely friends through MN who will be friends for life.

The whole MN experience is marred somewhat for me by some of the back biting and some of the louder, judgier voices and it is a shame that it is this that stands out to some media and other commentators.

It's like any large group of people, there will be people you like and people you don't, I guess.

I do wish there was more of the loveliness and less of the nastiness, however. I just don't see the need to be rude (or strident, or whatever other term you might use) to other people in any context, online or otherwise.

There is so much love and compassion on the Tamoxifen thread - quite honestly I've never met a bunch of more lovely women than these - over three years and 34 threads it is still going here

sirmione Sun 14-Apr-13 19:09:17

Mme Lindor was kind enough to meet me for coffee shortly after I arrived in a new country with two very small children. A small thing, but such a help when I was feeling dazed & confused. Still think of it with fondness, nearly 4 years on.

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