Vipers' nest? Come counter our hissy rep with your stories of Mumsnet Niceness

(486 Posts)
HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 12-Apr-13 10:42:32

Hello.

Well, it's been bit of a week, hasn't it? <understatement>

And we don't know about you but we think it's time folks outside MN knew a bit more about the lovely side of Mumsnet. All this stuff about harridans and vipers' nests kinda feels a bit lopsided to us - and is certainly making us pull on our Uggs wink and want to redress the balance a bit.

We're really chuffed to see such kind words about MN on Talk at the moment and also to see blogs like MmeLindor's that focus so beautifully on the "other side" of Mumsnet.

But we also want to publish, for all the world and the odd tabloid journo to see, a kinda showcase/archive of all the Lovely & Nice Things Mumsnetters Have Done over the years. And we'd really like your help with that, please.

Obviously, we have lots of Mumsnet Loveliness in mind already: ranging from Woolly Hugs to the Christmas Appeal and including everything from the lost toy on Blackpool Pier to the small acts of kindness shown every day from one MNer to another in need of help, advice or support.

But we really want you to tell us, too, about the Lovely Things you've seen (or taken part in) on Mumsnet. Please post them here - with links to the threads if you possibly can.

We'll read them all and, when we've run out of tissues, we'll publish some of your favourites for all the world to see.

Oh, and here's a pic of (warm and lovely) nest of vipers, courtesy of the fab women behind Woolly Hugs, to kinda set the tone smile

whokilleddannylatimer Fri 12-Apr-13 13:43:13

A mile for Maud was what made me change from another site babycentre to here smile in 2007 (i think).
I had never heard of Mumsnet the shame until then.

Tortington Fri 12-Apr-13 13:44:08

you know how people 'google' things for answers,

well in this house we 'mumsnet it' dh and (grown) kids frequently say "ask mumsnet - they'll know"

You're always there to tell me my boss is a twat - which is most appreciated

whokilleddannylatimer Fri 12-Apr-13 13:44:56
whokilleddannylatimer Fri 12-Apr-13 13:46:33

Yes Yes Custardo, dc1 also asks me to ask Mumsnet.

She even tells her teacher to ask Mumsnet if said teacher does not know answer to something.

TumbleWeeds Fri 12-Apr-13 13:46:38

The thing is the help you get from MN isn't always present just in one thread.

It's reading other people stories that have made a huge difference to me when the dcs were little. I learnt about all sort of different approach on parenting (including attachment parenting and AK that I had never heard about before). I might not have posted on these threads at the time or asked a specific question but they helped A LOT.

In the same way I learnt about autism and asperger (both of which I then realized apply to my ds and my DH) and this had been a life saver.

The reality is though, if we were all 'vipers' ready to shred people to bits all the time, MN wouldn't be so successful anyway.

Tortington Fri 12-Apr-13 13:48:38

"The reality is though, if we were all 'vipers' ready to shred people to bits all the time, MN wouldn't be so successful anyway."

this^^

who goes onto a site to simply get annihilated?

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Fri 12-Apr-13 13:53:59

The lovely, knowledgeable MN'ers who made me see there was something amiss with DS's development when every health-care professional I saw was fobbing me off - and who pointed me in the direction of the intervention which would help him (ABA).
DS is now 6, happily integarted in MS school with good friends and doing great academically. I can state categorically this would not be the case without the advice and guidance these women gave me at a crucial time. If any of them are reading this - Peachy, saintly, pagwatch, moondog and others - I'd like them to know what they did and how much I owe them.

neriberi Fri 12-Apr-13 13:54:47

In general MN is place that makes me laugh / angry / happy / sad in equal measure, it also reminds me that I'm only human and that I'm not alone...!

Recently I discovered a support thread about chronic fatigue, having been diagnosed with a really rare type of anemia and bone farrow failure, this thread gave me a chance to say all the things I haven't been able to say aloud and for that I am truly grateful.

Pozzled Fri 12-Apr-13 13:57:17

The threads that stand out most for me are the ones that could not be linked or published- women suffering abuse who receive the support, advice and encouragement for as long as they need it.

Others that come to mind:
I remember the ectopic pregnancy one.

The one where the OP had to look after an exclusively bf baby unexpectedly- it was late at night, her own children were in bedand she had no bottles/formula etc and no one she could call on. There was loads of advice and suggestions, but also offers of help.

A thread where the OP was typing incoherently and seemed to be in a bad way- I don't remember what happened in the end, it may even have been a troll. But people responded with great concern and compassion.

I've seen a lot of threads about unexpected pregnancies where the op is given reassurance that things will be ok in the end, whatever they decide.

Jux Fri 12-Apr-13 13:57:34

All the people who talked to me calmly and kindly when my mum became ill and couldn't eat - CMOT told me of sip feeds, which kept her going and gave her pleasure.

All the people who were wonderful and kind when mum died, and then my brother died, and then my dd (then 10) went off the rails emotionally.

All the people who helped with suggestions, information and support, when MIL became so demented and sFIL was behaving like an arse (still is) so no one cleaned her or fed her and she was living on biscuits and sherry.

I could go on - been here a while.

All the support and help, kindness and patience given freely to women (and sometimes men) whose partners are horribly abusive. Building up enough confidence for them to seek help, to help them see that they and their children are not worthless and of no value. I goes on and on and on; there are so many. sad

The bereavement threads, the emotional abuse support threads, the simple straightforward kindness that is on display here in spades if you just look a bit beyond AIBU.

MN has enhanced my life immeasurably, and I know I'm not alone in that.

zzzzz Fri 12-Apr-13 14:00:33

The sn board is a very very special place.

The secret Santa gifts I got still make me go all sniffy, because they were quite simply one of the nicest things that have ever happened to me. blush

All that Yoni-ing is also very funny.

The sheer number of people who prayed, hoped and wept for Ailidh will stay with me always.

The discovery of like minded nutters enthusiasts on the now long-running party planning thread has distracted me when stressed and given me the best excuse for vicarious shopping (online searching and RL shopping too grin).

Jux Fri 12-Apr-13 14:01:43

Oh yes, dh and dd always ask me to ask MN if we're having trouble with something. It's my first port of call! Often I don't have to ask as there'll be an answer in the archives somewhere.

FryingNemo Fri 12-Apr-13 14:03:53

Tiktok and her wonderful BF support and sense helped me immensely.
Then there was the lovely mumsnetter who put me in touch with a midwife who I could talk to about my concerns after DS was born.
Then there was the lovely viper who sent me nappy covers she did not need anymore on the understanding I pass them on.
And then there was the lovely viper who gave me a lot of advice about schools in Luxembourg.
Loads of lovely vipers with the odd atrocious cunt thrown in.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Fri 12-Apr-13 14:04:14

Can I ask who has been being horrible about MN this week? Why has this been such a bad week? This place is fairly used to getting a pasting from the ignorant,the humourless and the misogynist after all

The Brave Babes threads have been going for over three years now and have offered loads of us invaluable help and support as we struggle with alcohol issues. These threads are so supportive and non-judgmental and have genuinely helped dozens of people get and stay sober and many many more to pull back and take control of problem drinking.

SmellieWellies Fri 12-Apr-13 14:04:39

I was discussing MN with my DH quite recently. We also, (like Custardo say 'mumsnet it'). He is occasionally scathing of MN, but i pointed out that i have been quite isolated in the past few years. I am not from here (aka a forriner) and we moved to a small community because of his work and his family. Nearly everything we have is his- HIS friend. HIS family. HIS circle of contacts. Nothing is mine or just for me. For a time I had no friends or support, and even now i am quite shy and do not have many friends in real life.... but am slowly gathering a circle.

Factor in PND, a shockingly bad working life, and various other things, and essentially, MN for me is the circle of support/friends/family that I do not have in reality. I come on here for laughs, for advice, to wind down. MN is an 'added value' to my life. I do not have a community around me, but I know there are people out there that respond to me, talk with me, and make me feel a part of something larger.

crazydrunkevilyoni Fri 12-Apr-13 14:05:31

Mn has done wonders for me whether it is when I feel like utter rubbish I can always rely on Mn for a good laugh or even when my head is a mess & I just need a friendly ear to listen .
We may come across as a bunch if 'Vipers that where Ugg Boots' but we are a huge supportive network from all around the world just ready to help & listen to each other .
I was having trouble before Christmas & had bu way of getting a Tree for my Ds & a lovely lady baught a tree round for me & I will never forget the kindness thanks

SanityClause Fri 12-Apr-13 14:06:00

Just recently there was a lady who had to leave her home really quickly, as she was concerned her EX and EXMIL were coming to take her child/ren away from her.

She was sitting in a cafe, and really panicking.

People suggested she contact the police.

She was so panicked, she just hadn't considered that, and was able to post a couple of hours later about how helpful the police had been.

Oh, and a while ago, when someone posted about did we think it was selfish of someone without a partner to have a baby. Everyone turned on her, and said "Of course not, don't be so judgy". Turned out, she wanted to have a baby, but had no partner and was worried that it was a selfish thing to do! So, even though she was apparently "flamed", in fact, she got the support she was looking for.

FryingNemo Fri 12-Apr-13 14:07:10

I wish mumsnet had been around when DD was born. If it had been I am sure I would not have agree to a pointless induction and DD wouldn't have spent the first two weeks of her life in intensive car.

crazydrunkevilyoni Fri 12-Apr-13 14:07:34

No not bu hmm

Also not forgetting the hilarious Typos grin

lisad123everybodydancenow Fri 12-Apr-13 14:12:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WouldBeHarrietVane Fri 12-Apr-13 14:13:49

Spooky charlotte's thread about what turned out to be ectopic pg:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/949211-Please-can-someone-help-me-Im-in-so-much-pain?pg=40&order=

The support and love shown in Bereavement, including Mumsnetters contributing ideas to MiasMummy's inspiring planting of a wood in Mia's memory.

The wonderful support on the bf threads with expert advice from tiktok but also numerous dedicated others including Eaurouge, jiltedjohnsjulie and others.

The mc threads were a lifeline for me when I mc. There is nowhere else that offers 24 hour support and peer experience to a mc woman. Mc is still largely taboo and it is sadly very rare for women to even tell very close friends they have mc and certainly extraordinarily rare to discuss the physical realities of it sad

EVERY mc woman should be given the web address for the board. The wonderful women of MN gave me support in the blackest time of my life after my mmc was confirmed at the 12 week scan. They helped me:

- decide whether to go for an ERPC or not
- by supporting me when I felt desperately low during and after
- through the testing process to determine what had caused my mc

I really can't express in words how grateful I am thanks

eminemmerdale Fri 12-Apr-13 14:14:42

I mentioned in a totally unrelated thread, that my daughter was unable to get any NHS funding for her hearing aid and that we are fundraising - as a by the by type coment. A lovely lovely lady PM'd me and offered some money to put towards it. Just kindess itself.

5madthings Fri 12-Apr-13 14:15:13

sparkling same here with the snow I was worried ds1 wouldn't be a blue to get home on the bus, he did manage but a lovely mnetter who lives near his school offered to put him up for the night if need be smile

I will also say I have learn a lot from the sn's boards and those posters who have children with son's, its made me much more aware and understanding.

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