So can we ban 'begging' threads, or even threads started by other people to have a whip round for posters?

(370 Posts)

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinot Wed 21-Nov-12 10:55:09

I don't know, lovely. It's hard to sit back and not help - human nature is (normally) to dig deep when others need help.

bitsofmeworkjustfine Wed 21-Nov-12 10:56:11

i agree... it would also let us all moan to our hearts content and wallow in our communal misery without the inference that anyone HAS to do something about it...

I don't want to live in a 'virtual' world where people are prevented from helping others.

It's not right. Instead we all need to develop a thicker skin and ignore the detractors or wankers who PM just to insult.

I'm not a fan of prosecuting people for writing malicious things on Facebook - whatever happened to delete and ignore? Never give arseholes headspace.

There are enough fabulous people on mumsnet to ignore the very small amount of people who will be tossers - in fact I'm constantly surprised how few arseholes there are on mumsnet.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Wed 21-Nov-12 11:07:49

Yes you can. But I hope that you are told the answer is NO we wont ban it.

Yes, there's some crap going on aimed at Giraffes right now (and misdee and others in the past) but it's generally a few nasty people and they should never be allowed to spoil it for others.

Without the 'whip around' for Aillidh/Expat/Giraffes their terrible struggle would have been even worse. They needed help. They used the money to get people where they needed to be, for food, for 'treats' for Aillidh - for all kinds of small things and towards Aillidh's stone and a few days away for her siblings after Aillidh died. A little girl here died - some of us wanted to make her last few months as bearable as possible. Do you not get that? We gave freely, willingly - we are adults, we exerted out free will.

I am sure your post comes from a good place - BUT, I am actually really angry that you have asked this, without thinking about what that money did, how it helped a little bit, to make their lives a little bit easier at that bloody awful time.

Do you really think the bastards who send nasty messages should 'win' here? Really???

ChippingInLovesAutumn Wed 21-Nov-12 11:09:45

bitsofmeworkjustfine I hope that you have never come across any of expats or giraffes threads about Aillidh and that you know not of what you speak. Otherwise your post is probably one of the nastiest I have ever read on MN.

Trills Wed 21-Nov-12 11:12:20

I think people just need to accept that if they give money to people on the internet they have no guarantee that it will be used in the intended manner.

It should also be acceptable to post on any thread and point this out without being accused of being heartless.

As long as the givers freely acknowledge that the "Gin money" may be spent on handbags rather than gin, nobody can come along and say "don't give money to her".

McKayz Germany Wed 21-Nov-12 11:14:43

No we shouldn't ban them. Lots of people gave money to help a little girl and her family. A little girl who was dying.

I whole heartedly agree with everything Chipping said.

If some sad wierd people have nothing better to do than berate a poor woman who had to watch a girl she loved die then they need to grow the fuck up.

izzyishavingababyAGAIN Wed 21-Nov-12 11:14:59

Hear hear expat.

Perhap we should ban the Mumsnet blankets as well.

Maybe we should try to ban posters from meeting up in case they meet John the Trucker. Mumsnet secret Santa a huge no no

Or perhaps we should accept that we are grown ups who can make up our own minds and judgement.

I am in my 40s. I have been through plenty in my life time and I seriously object to people who want to try to protect me from myself.

I would rather risk be "fleeced" of a fiver (not that I think for one second I have been) than have a heart of stone.

giraffes if you see this - I hope you get enough money to put yourself up in a 6 star hotel, have a massge and a lovely meal - that's what people would like for you.

I am sick of people trying to turn this place into a nanny state - we are not children.

threesocksmorgan Wed 21-Nov-12 11:15:23

perhaps if mn hq banned people when they make really nasty pm's it would help.(maybe they already do) rather than punishing the victim of such nastiness.

Pinot Wed 21-Nov-12 11:15:25

But you can't tar every thread of this nature with the same whopping-great brush.

Giraffes and expats threads are not the same as A.N.Other poster moaning about their washing machine breaking.

So actually I think if you post about money safety/internet/blah blah on a cast-iron 100% genuine thread such as theirs, then you are being heartless.

In my opinion.

LadyBeagle Wed 21-Nov-12 11:16:38

It cannot be argued that there are posters that send begging threads, sadly it happens.
But anyone who knew just a tiny bit of Giraffe's story understandably wanted to help her.
I'm so angry that some coward sent her a pm without even having the guts to name herself.
So, no, of course not. We should never ban people who want or are able to help.

HecatePropylaea Wed 21-Nov-12 11:17:47

Has something happened to prompt this thread?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinot Wed 21-Nov-12 11:18:31

Hec - giraffes threads

LtEveDallas Wed 21-Nov-12 11:20:29

No to banning.

We are adults. We make our own choices. No-one who has ever donated to a poster has done so because a gun was held to their head.

Anyone willing to give money should have the sense to not give more than they could 'afford' to lose. If someone gave their last £10 to a poster they later discovered wasn't genuine then that is their own fault.

I have been on threads here before when I have thought "hold up, something isn't right here" and a little bit of searching/googling has born fruit - so I haven't donated.

But if I still did - that's my lookout. Once the money has left my account it is no longer mine - and the recipient can use it however they need.

Pinot Wed 21-Nov-12 11:20:45

I think the problem lies entirely with the twats who think they have the right to get snippy about it, tbh.

They should stick their noses elsewhere and realise that MNers can think for themselves. Some poster seem to have some kind of "God complex" regarding MN and it's ways.

izzyishavingababyAGAIN Wed 21-Nov-12 11:21:28

thatbastard do you not get that people want to be able to make up their own minds?

We aren't 5 you know.

MrsjREwing Wed 21-Nov-12 11:22:15

So many threads this morning about fivers, travelling from scotland etc, all sad really when you know a child died. It would be best to not do money begging threads, I suspect they won't be banned.

As an aside there are loads of deserving stories and lots of people could do with help, a lot of families needs are ignored, how about rather than giving all to one family, hook up with a local family to you with that is in need and give them a break and a bit of fun?

Pinot Wed 21-Nov-12 11:22:42

I don't think OP means we're 5. Not that she needs me to defend her smile

izzyishavingababyAGAIN Wed 21-Nov-12 11:22:51

"I just think that the site is too big and too anymous nowadays (and probably too jaded) for anyone to just ask for stuff without people getting snippy about it."

It's not their place to get "snippy" it's the place of the person who has chosen to donate.

coppertop Wed 21-Nov-12 11:23:23

I don't agree with a ban.

Essentially it boils down to blaming the victims of the bullying. "Only have official appeals so that the bullies aren't tempted to be nasty to you."

Far better to deal with the bullies than to put barriers up between would-be donors and the people they would like to help.

FrankincenseWippery Wed 21-Nov-12 11:24:09

<passes crate of gin>

psychomum5 Wed 21-Nov-12 11:24:39

agree completely with Chipping.

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