I broke my BF. Just got back from A&E.

[horseygeorgie1]

Newish BF although we know each other very well. Last night was our first time without condom as we waited for relevant STI tests and I'm now on the pill. First time ever for BF without condom. We tried Friday night but he was in a slight bit of pain so we put a condom on and all went as normal.

We had some fairly vigourous, energetic sex last night. He came, then after he pulled out disappeared muttering into the bathroom. Long and the short of it was his foreskin had got stuck behind the head of his penis and was swelling rapidly. I pursuaded him to ring 111 who then told us to go to hospital. We were there 8 hours, they manually manipulated it back into place and he had to hold it for a bit until the swelling went down.

I'm a bit shell shocked! I feel awful! I know it isn't anyones fault but I still feel a bit responsible. The Dr said if it keeps happening then circumcision would be the answer but I don't think he would like to do that (can't say I blame him) and wants to keep using condoms. Which is fine, but we both want children in the not too distand future which could present a puzzle!

Anyone have any experiences of this?

[DubiousCredentials]

no experience but that sounds awful! Your poor dp and poor you.

[horseygeorgie1]

It was actually really traumatic Dubious. I've not really had sex with many men who aren't circumsiced and I never even considered it could happen! He was in so much pain bless him.

[ThatsWotSheSaid]

Lots of lube?

[pilkio]

I broke someone's dick before - it was his "banjo string" - blood everywhere and very scary to say the least.

Hope he's recovering well!

[horseygeorgie1]

Thats I don't think lubrication was a problem! But we could try some KY.
Pilkio That sounds horrific. He is doing ok thanks, moving very gingerly though!

[MumiTravels]

Maybe you need to buy some KY jelly in for next time and keep some frozen peas in the freezer to apply until he's seen if it happens again.

I've seen this alot unfortunately but with catheterised men and no one had placed the foreskin back afterwards.

[sallysparrow157]

Very bizzare sounding thing to try if it happens again - dissolve as much sugar as you can in a cup of water, soak a cloth in it, wrap the...erm... Affected area with the cloth and squeeze firmly. Or just sprinkle loads of sugar on it. He'll still need to go to hospital to get it sorted but this will make it easier to fix!

[BartholinsSister]

He needs to spend some quality time in the bath or shower getting used to stretching his foreskin over the head of it, using soap, shampoo or shower gel to lubricate. May take a few weeks of practice until he's comfortable with it. I've heard of this before!

[horseygeorgie1]

wow, you ladies have very useful advice as always. Thanks. It is so reassuring to know there is somewhere I can ask about this.

[LostAtSea2]

I would say that if it doesn't pull back easily by this time I his life then circumsision is the way to go. I had it done when I was in my early 20's. Was it painful after the operation? no, uncomfortable for a few weeks? Yes. Worth doing...absolutely!

[Hagothehills]

A man I am very close to had this. He had a circumsicion in his early 20s.

Although he was understandably very reluctant at first he's said he's really glad he did it.

Sex was painful every time without a condom and sometimes even with one. Long story short he ended up with a tight band of scar tissue at the tip of his foreskin which became incredibly painful every time he got an erection. It got to the point of him waking in agony every night.

He said it changed his life and he wished he had done it sooner. AIt's not what he initially planned on (no one really wants to cut bits off themselves if they can avoid it) but sex finally became pleasurable and he was able to conceive his daughter who is his world.

Says he doesn't regret it one bit but it was very scary at the time and was sorry to lose that bit of him but in the end he's glad he went through with it.

[dementedpixie]

I think there are alternatives to full circumcision too. I have heard of a dorsal slit operation instead which preserves more tissue than circumcision

[MephistoMarley]

Maybe try a very gentle shag without and see how that goes!

[horseygeorgie1]

Thanks, I think that, apart from the discomfort for him obviously, I am worried about having children. We both want children but if this isn't sorted I don't know how that would be possible. I am fully supportive if he wants to use condoms until the time for a family comes along as obviously I love him and don't want him in pain!

[ShowOfHands]

It's fixable. When DH and i first stopped using condoms, his foreskin tore badly. Then again post healing. Then again. DH had an op to remove all the scar tissue and stitch the foreskin differently. 17yrs later and 2 children, nary a problem. BILs 1 and 2 had exactly the same problem with a tight foreskin, only discovered through sex. One had the same op as DH, the other a circumcision.

[horseygeorgie1]

Thanks everyone, it is reassuring to read that others have had success with this.

[CarefullyAirbrushedPotato]

It's possible to stretch the foreskin without surgery, just with regular, erm, stretching.

[Elllicam]

I was going to suggest the sugar soak too :) we get it sometimes with catheterised patients. Often you can get the swelling down enough to get the foreskin back over.

[McBassyPants]

Please do not encourage him to stretch it in the shower using soap/shampoo/shower gel. These are not lubricants and will likely end up giving him balanitis and causing further problems with a swollen head of his penis!

[SpaceDinosaur]

My DH had a "too tight" foreskin too. Like your BF, I was his first partner who he didn't wear a condom with and it was an utter PITA for us and clearly very uncomfortable for him.

GP told him to use a moisturising cream (I think it was aqueous cream) in the bath and to try and gently work it out (stretch the skin)

Epic fail, he had a circumcision on the NHS on a Wednesday and was back at work on the Friday. We were very VERY careful to let it heal and I encouraged him to masturbate to "relearn" for a couple of weeks before we DTD but now sex has never been better. Circumcision as an adult for him was bloody marvellous.

[booellesmum]

Pilkio - you're the only other person I've ever heard say this. Now I know I am not alone!

[RealityCheque]

In the meantime, as for TTC - simply continue to wear a condom but cut the teat off?

It will still work to protect his foreskin whilst not catching the little swimmers!

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Surely you can poke pin holes in condoms by mutual agreement? If it works for trappers of unwilling men, it could work by consent.

[Blushingm]

I've broken 2 willies

Stbxh got circumcised 10 years later, other is fine

Ps it's not the reason he is stbx

[riceuten]

When something like this happened previously, an ex joked about going to A & E and saying "Doctor, doctor, can you take away the pain but leave the swelling?"