Harrow or where for DS?

(81 Posts)
TheBeautifulVisit Thu 27-Feb-14 18:17:30

He's 10. He's super-bright and sporty. And blond. I've noticed when I drop him off at school that he's blonder than all the other children and when he jumps, he jumps that bit higher, and more elegantly, than all the other boys. His prep school say he was made to be world king. Up to now I haven't been entirely convinced about that, but then I got to thinking, why would they say that if it wasn't true? We will have only paid them £150,000 by the time he leaves prep, plus another £300,000 for his two younger brothers. What would be their incentive to make shit up if it isn't true?

Little things like money and geography are minor details, I just want the right school for my future world king.

Please advise. Which is the correct school for him?

mulv2222 Thu 27-Feb-14 20:25:31

You are confused. You are describing my son, he is the blondest of them all. ...

I would home school if I were you.

ShredMeJillianIWantToBeNatalie Thu 27-Feb-14 22:08:42

Only world king?

Bow down, bitches. Mine will be king of the UNIVERSE!!

grovel Thu 27-Feb-14 22:43:18

Reverse the trend. Send blondie to a Russian school. He could join Pussy Riot in the fullness of time.

LaVolcan Thu 27-Feb-14 22:59:50

Russia a bit dodgy maybe? How about a UK school with a high intake of Chinese pupils?

Good work ethic could be caught from them, he will pick up Mandarin with no effort, but at the same time his blondness with absolutely wow them.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 00:05:33

Pussy riot wasn't really what I had in mind for him... But doubtless a coup in Africa wasn't really what Margaret Thatcher had in mind for her little Marky-pops after Harrow.

I could try one of the local selective day schools but I'm not sure he'd be comfortable mixing with boys whose school fees are sub £16,000 per annum. And I think the boys at those type of schools would be uncomfortable with my son's blondness, ease, wit, good looks and perfect manners. I think it would make everyone uncomfortable and would likely end in a murder as boys shoot it out for the honour of being my son's unofficial courtiers, and doer of coursework. I couldn't have that on my conscience. <shudder>

peteneras Fri 28-Feb-14 06:13:58

All that and you're only aiming for Harrow?

Needmoresleep Fri 28-Feb-14 06:49:14

He could become Mayor of London. If so look at Eton.

Taz1212 Fri 28-Feb-14 07:08:00

I understand Westminster is the best school in the whole wide world .

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 08:33:27

I think students need to be brunette to really shine at Westminster.

dellon Fri 28-Feb-14 08:44:03

well from everything you've described about your boy ... there is only one school and it has to be Eton...those highly academic selective day schools you talked about don't really look at blondeness or aspirations to be king of the world as criteria...dammit

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 08:47:18

Just trying to set out my thoughts and recap:

Grade 7 wind

I should add that my son isn't perfect. He's not good at sharpening pencils so the school would need to have its own electric pencil sharpener.

Does this school exist? Is it Harrow?

LaVolcan Fri 28-Feb-14 08:50:47

Some completely off the wall suggestions here: Our future King went to Gordonstoun, or the Dutch King went to Atlantic College. But perhaps you could try the International School Of Berne, Kim Jong Un's alma mater? Maybe that's a bit too downmarket though, with fees of only £16,000 a year? Hmm, I can see it's a very tough decision.

LaVolcan Fri 28-Feb-14 08:54:34

Now grade 7 wind and only one instrument would be a bit of a worry for me. It should be doable to get him up to Grade 8 Wind, and Grade 5 for a second instrument by the time he's 11, surely?

Timetoask Fri 28-Feb-14 08:57:32

Just wanted to clarify: This is a windup, right?. (just checking cos sometimes get confused with the British sense of humour)

dellon Fri 28-Feb-14 08:59:38

Or he could join the children of European minor royalty and Russian oligarchs at Le Rosey, Switzerland where the fees are reassuringly more expensive than Eton's or anywhere else for that matter.

Taz1212 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:02:58

"I think students need to be brunette to really shine at Westminster."

Hmm, you may be right. I know exactly two people who went to Westminster and they were both brunettes.

dellon Fri 28-Feb-14 09:04:44

Le Rosey - alumni network is astounding: Former students include the last Shah of Iran, the Aga Khan, King Albert II of Belgium, Prince Rainier of Monaco, Dodi Al-Fayed, and the children of the royal families of Egypt, Greece, Yugoslavia, Italy and Britain, according to Forbes. The offspring of the American dynasties like the Rothschilds, Rockefellers, and du Ponts also attended.

With fees of only 133k $ a year, it's a small price to pay for your son which the "right sort" given his future regal aspirations.

northlondoncat Fri 28-Feb-14 09:06:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 09:07:38

LaVolcan - those are interesting thoughts. But I somehow think he's set his sights on being a premier in a country that's a) not so small as Britain, b) not so low as the Netherlands and c) I don't think he's ready to shoot his uncle (see sensitive above) plus would he not be too blond to be really happy in North Korea?

dellon - is Le Rosey a good fit for a quirky boy offering grade 7 wind?

dellon Fri 28-Feb-14 09:08:35

to consort with the right sort, i should have said....anyway, he could marry very well there, which should be your overriding criterion for choosing a school.

OwlCapone Fri 28-Feb-14 09:09:43

Is this just bitching about another thread?

Yes, it is.

cakeisalwaystheanswer Fri 28-Feb-14 09:12:34

I'm with LaVolcan on the "only one instrument" concern. What has he been doing with his time - having highlights?

As regards schools once the word "quirky" is uttered it can only be Westminster or Winchester. I can only assume that you are new to mumsnet if you haven't yet worked this out yet. I would ask how you have been spending your time, but I suspect it was taking your son for highlights.

You sound like a very lax parent.

Mandy2003 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:12:35

A comprehensive school could be the best thing for him. After all a bright child will shine wherever they are, right grin

Martorana Fri 28-Feb-14 09:12:46

I sort of knew, but didn't grasp until yesterday that they rulers of the major combatant countries in WW1 were all cousins.

Isn't that weird? Or did everyone but me know?

OP- does your ds have any cousins who are rulers of European countries?

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 09:16:53

The fees at Le Rosey are encouragingly enormous but I'm worried the uniform may be insufficiently preposterous. Quirky and sensitive DS has his heart set on the idea of a preposterous uniform.

It's so difficult. I'm beginning to think a suitable school for a blond, sensitive boy who can't watch Tracy Beaker because it's too sad, doesn't exist.

Taz1212 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:18:31

If by preposterous you mean "butt ugly" you should take a good look at Fettes. grin

cakeisalwaystheanswer Fri 28-Feb-14 09:19:39

"can't watch Tracy Beaker" or hasn't got time to watch Tracy Beaker because he is busy having his hair highlighted?

I am beginning to doubt your DS is blond at all.

wordfactory Fri 28-Feb-14 09:23:56

Sobs...I sent my boy to Westminster and he's ...blonde shock...

Where did it all go so wrong?

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 09:29:04

I didn't know he needed to offer a second instrument. Our Prep head was adamant his grade 7 wind would be sufficient. I'm beginning to wonder if the head of our prep knows anything at all. I've been losing confidence in him since he incorrectly ended a fourth declension noun in a school newsletter. Which perceptive, blond DS spotted..

it doesn't surprise me that these types of schools demand such brilliance. He will be very lucky to get a place as the competition is fearsome.

Needmoresleep Fri 28-Feb-14 09:29:57

Word. Its OK. Westminster accepts the individual. In their eyes blond=quirky.

Martorana Fri 28-Feb-14 09:30:32

Oh, word- how awful...... sad

Is it too late for him to do a H&B BTec and learn about colouring and highlights?

Or will he just go straight to being ruler of a Scandanavian country? I appreciate you'd rather keep him nearer home, but needs must........

wordfactory Fri 28-Feb-14 09:32:58

mart I suppose the scandi route could at least see him getting a selfie with Obama...grasps at straws...

Martorana Fri 28-Feb-14 09:33:11

But in all seriousness, OP - I really think you should look at Christ's Hospital. It seems to fulfil all your requirements.

randommoniker Fri 28-Feb-14 09:33:17

I suggest you compare notes with Statesmom. She can add a lot of value when it comes to TOP SCHOOLS for OUTSTANDING BOYS.

Theas18 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:36:27

Soz Mrs Fotherington-Thomas any fule no if your son haz curly gold locks and a tendency to skip like a girl saying "hello clouds hello sky" he should go to St Custards.

My little Molesworth will look out for him....

randommoniker Fri 28-Feb-14 09:37:23

Theas18 You made me laugh like a drain! I do love a spot of Molesworth!!!!

wordfactory Fri 28-Feb-14 09:38:45

And now the real problemo...what of my blonde of the female pursuasion?

I can either dress her up as a boy for Eton or dye the hair for Westminster...I mean what choice do I have? grin

AuntFidgetWonkhamStrong Fri 28-Feb-14 09:40:56

So sorry to hijack OP but re: the jumping - I'm desperately worried that my DS (a strong all rounder at EVERYTHING else) just won't quite make the grade. Did you tutor? Could you possibly recommend someone??He's 4. Do you think I've left it too late?

Martorana Fri 28-Feb-14 09:43:57

He can pla "fairy bells" on skool piano and win the Miss Joyful Prize for raffia work...........

LaVolcan Fri 28-Feb-14 09:44:23

Well, could be too late - you really should have started by the time he began to walk, if not at birth.

Martorana Fri 28-Feb-14 09:45:34

Word- Christ's Hospital again. Might not be quite academic enough, but the uniform is gloriously preposterous and you can't have everything......

wordfactory Fri 28-Feb-14 09:45:57

If I had my time again I'd have have had my DC's hair transplanted at birth to the correct colour!

cakeisalwaystheanswer Fri 28-Feb-14 09:46:32

How blond is he AuntFidget? If he is very, very blond I wouldn't be too concerned about the jumping. If not you need to start tutoring now.

Yet again I am stunned by the lax parenting freely admitted to on mumsnet.

moomoomummy Fri 28-Feb-14 09:51:11

Best post I have seen in ages!

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 09:52:31

AuntFidget - is he very sensitive as well as being an all-rounder? And exceptionally likeable? And quirky? And is he sporty? I'll have a think once you answer. You have left it a little late but try not to worry.

They should bring back Sun-In for parenting dilemmas such as these.

AuntFidgetWonkhamStrong Fri 28-Feb-14 09:53:43

He is mouse blush blush. I have failed him at every level. Perhaps if I send a covering letter with any school application he makes, highlighting his outstanding ability to walk on water (totally untutored), they might overlook this?

Martorana Fri 28-Feb-14 09:54:01

This is all very interesting. My ds started life traffic stoppingly blond. But as he got older his hair darkened- and now he's 13 it's dark. Should I tell him that his ambitions to go to Cambridge are just a pipe dream? Or might his blue eyes still get him through?

And as for my poor dd- she's a red head! grin

AuntFidgetWonkhamStrong Fri 28-Feb-14 09:55:05

Yes, yes, beautifulvisit - you have him completely! The schools should be competing for my son, not the other way round, surely?

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 10:00:55

Martorana - Will you send her to Tring School for the Performing Arts? It's reassuringly expensive and they seem to have a way with red heads. As well as teaching the essential circus skills.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 10:14:27

A word if warning. Apparently Win College had a redhead housemaster in the 1980s. They eurhanised him after he was found playing Rod Stewart records in his rooms, late into the night. The boys in his house were understandably traumatised and a don had to deal with them crying (to the tune of 'I am Sailing') in div the following day. But that might be rumour.

Needmoresleep Fri 28-Feb-14 10:17:04

Bedales, Steiner, Queen Ethelburga?

Needmoresleep Fri 28-Feb-14 10:22:53

Or grow his hair and let him apply CLSG, SHHS, SPGS, LEH, G&L, LUS, JAGS, WHS and more.

New interview question. Form an anagram using the initials of the schools you have applied to.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 10:23:24

Thanks, Needsmoresleep. We've ruled out Queen Ethelburga's because the salt licks in the stables were running worryingly low when we visited. And some of the ponies' hooves looked as though they hadn't been oiled for days, if not weeks. sad

Mignonette Fri 28-Feb-14 10:42:25

I think you need to phone Gwyneth Paltrow and see if you can tutor share with her.

Her tutor needed to speak twenty eight languages, be able to not only play in all the sections of a symphonic orchestra but conduct it too, have won The Americas Cup, thrashed Federer, know the words to 'Straight Out of Compton' and be able to do the 'All The Single Ladies' dance better than Bey.

The tutor also needs to wear size zero in their white Rag & Bone jeans and not get any of the rustic hand picked San Marzano tomato and kale sauce on them during private cooking sessions with Jamie Oliver.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 10:54:34

Mignonette - rofl

wordfactory Fri 28-Feb-14 10:57:01

I've just spoken to Gwynnie and phew I don't need her tutor (to be honest she was fairly sub standard, no sanskrit or old norse, I ask you...) but she's passed on the details of her hairdresser.

Apparently he can have my DC's hair the correct colour by Easter, using a no-carb-oraganic-macrobiotic compound of quinoa and maple bark...

You can imagine my relief!

Mignonette Fri 28-Feb-14 10:59:40

No Old Norse despite that Scandi - Blonde hair???

Gwynnie is slipping up shock.

The only way you can get Gwynnie highlights is by having the light of God beaming down on you all day like a celestial kleig light?

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 10:59:55

(This thread is like Mumsnet in the olden days. Before Ford (not Gina), Cadbury's Pebbles and all the pongy people with poor grammar came along.)

Needmoresleep Fri 28-Feb-14 11:34:53

Before the penis beaker?

I credit Statesmom. Perhaps you are Statesmom with a namechange and following a trip to the hairdresser.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 11:38:30

Needmoresleep - Yes before that. <faints>

dellon Fri 28-Feb-14 11:42:48


I am worried now...just how blue are your DS's eyes...because that matters....my DS, unfortunately now also a brunette, had the most traffic arresting blue eyes as a small child...now he is older, they are a dull wishy-washy gray- blue ...I worry this might affect his life chances and thus we have limited out aspirations to one of those highly selective day schools that charge a mere 16,000 a year ...anything more we felt would be overreaching given his lack of blondeness.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 12:09:08

dellon - hmmm. Gresham's is excellent for bringing on wishy-washy gray eyes. The huge Norfolk skies inject azure blue, even from the mullion windows.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 12:21:55

It occured to me this morning that it is all so fearsomely competitive. There are literally millions of people chasing these places and not everyone can be that brilliant. I won't love him very much less if he doesn't get into Harrow, Eton or Winchester. Is it very wrong though that I might feel a twinge of regret should he go to Radley? I keep telling myself that the fact that although it doesn't have a preposterous uniform, it is reassuringly expensive.

I so want blond DS to be happy and go on to fulfil his potential.

Does this school exist? Is it Harrow?

offblackeggshell Fri 28-Feb-14 12:31:10

I'm concerned for your younger two. Are they less blonde? Or are you also looking for somewhere with a strong sibling policy?

Lilymaid Fri 28-Feb-14 12:37:44

Is your son Fotherington-Thomas? In which case, I'm sure that your son's headmaster, Mr Grimes, will be glad to help you in your choice of school.

ArgyMargy Fri 28-Feb-14 12:58:57

Don't you mean skool, Lily? (shameless page marking of thread that has really made me laugh - and to think I nearly didn't click on it!)

maillotjaune Fri 28-Feb-14 12:59:21

Christ's Hospital has yellow socks, no? Make sure you check that the yellow is compatible with the blondness.

The buildings are more Palace than Hospital so may be good practice for World Kingliness.

TheBeautifulVisit Fri 28-Feb-14 19:07:47

Ah interesting. I'll have to ponder on that over the weekend.

It's not just the nagging feeling that the colour yellow would be quite wrong for blond DS, but I also worry that yellow may itch. Does it itch more than sky He is very fair. I know this is just me being silly since Christ's Hospital socks are made from the finest cashmere, spun from actual Norland nannies.

MyCatsRule Fri 28-Feb-14 20:46:44

Best thread ever.

cakeisalwaystheanswer Fri 28-Feb-14 22:11:27

Not sure about that MyCatsRule, I think the best thread ever has to be the "best school in the world". If only statesmom would come back and give some advice.

TheBeautifulVisit Sat 01-Mar-14 10:50:46

Can a blond boy who's a good fit for sky-blue socks also be a good fit for yellow socks? I'm not so sure buy maybe he can.

A friend of a friend emailed last night to say Christ's Hospital yellow cashmere socks are made from retired Norland nannies. Hmm. Sounds like that could present problems for blond DS. So much of what you need to know about these schools isn't in the brochure.

I'm so grateful for people sharing their expertise on this thread. We are going to spend the weekend discussing it.

Mignonette Sun 02-Mar-14 14:42:56

Actually you are both wrong about the provenance of those socks.

They are spun from the combings from Gwyneths forearms. The soft peachy fuzz is gathered at Dawn by a choir of angels, washed in the tears of all those not born Golden and then woven to the sounds of harps by the massed ranks of Eunuchs.

The Pope himself blesses each one too.

northlondoncat Sun 02-Mar-14 15:33:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBeautifulVisit Sun 02-Mar-14 20:44:03

Mignonette. Ah interesting, thanks for that, especially the bit about the choir. The prep school head said DS's best chance of a choral scholarship at Harrow is castrato. Eeek. The prep are doing all they can on the endocrinological front -- he's on HRT -- and if that comes to nothing we have an appointment booked at our local BUPA hospital for him to have the op in May. I hope it doesn't come to that as it would be a shame to remove his bollocks if he doesn't get offered Harrow but instead gets offered Radley, where they are ironically offering a choral scholarship for a 13 year old baritone. That will mean more operations.

It is so competitive. Luckily blond DS is very focused.

4happyhours Thu 19-Jun-14 20:53:33

Ha ha ha. Love this thread - startup is very funny. It's true there is a disproportionate number of blondies - and ginges - at Eton. I remember pacing (invigilating) School Hall during public exams marvelling at just how many there were...

agnesgrey Fri 20-Jun-14 00:52:00


That's hard . You really need to think through the whole testicle thing . He will need them at Radley for playing in a defensive position on Bigside . However , as you say , a castrato scholarship is not to be sniffed at.

Have you thought about whether the right operation is right for the right boy ?

I can only suggest that certain friends of mine have considered a full frontal lobotomy for certain schools. Just a thought .



agnesgrey Fri 20-Jun-14 00:54:50

Oh and is he blond ?

Mine isn't . We've pretty much given up .


agnesgrey Fri 20-Jun-14 01:05:11

oops . sorry . didnt realise old thread
funny nonetheless

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