Do you ask them to text you when they've arrived?

(42 Posts)
hardboiled Fri 19-Jul-13 11:27:05

Do you ask your Year 7 DS/DD to send you a text saying he/she has arrived safely to school? And a text saying he/she is leaving?

Primary school never calls if a child has not turned up, so if anything ever happened to a Y6 on the way to school the parent would never know. What about in secondary?

Or is it too "helicoptery"...confused

mrsravelstein Fri 19-Jul-13 11:30:10

no. first few weeks of y7 he did quite often text to say he'd got on the bus, and still sometimes does. if they don't turn up to school and you haven't phoned them in sick, the attendance officer will call you fairly sharpish to let you know.

notapizzaeater Fri 19-Jul-13 11:30:26

Our primary ring give till about 9.20 before they ring to see why they not there. Our secondary school send an automated phone message out to all parents at 9.15 if they haven't turned up nd one been in touch. They then have so long to ring in before a real person rings round.

Inncogneetow Fri 19-Jul-13 11:31:41

No. My boys (14 and 16) have never taken their phones to school. Phones are a menace in schools, and most have a policy that they shouldn't be in school. They cause bullying, disruption in lessons and all sorts of issues when they get stolen.

Most secondary schools have a policy that they will contact home mid-morning if students have not turned up, and there's been no message.

Theas18 Fri 19-Jul-13 11:33:38

They'll be on the phone after registration if they haven't registered. Check school policy.

crazymum53 Fri 19-Jul-13 12:14:08

dds school sends out an email or text to parents (depending on their preference) if their dcs haven't arrived (and they haven't heard any reason for absence) or even if they have arrrived late!
They are allowed to take mobile phones to school but they have to be left in their lockers during lessons.

lljkk Fri 19-Jul-13 12:21:36

No, can't get DS to even take his phone with him.

Sparklingbrook Fri 19-Jul-13 12:26:53

We would get a text from school if he didn't turn up. DS takes his phone but is turned off when gets off the bus to when he gets back on pm.

hardboiled Fri 19-Jul-13 12:30:31

Thanks all. I will check school policy, they probably contact parents if child missing from registry...
Right now, in Y6, DS has been texting - has the template ready in the phone. He has never once forgotten.

gazzalw Fri 19-Jul-13 12:41:52

Absolutely not. The school would soon be in touch if they didn't turn up...My answer to all these semi-neuroses about needing to be in constant touch is this: we didn't have this type of access to our parents when we were our DCs age.....

DW was having a conversation with another Mum whose DD is in Year 8 - the DD forgot her phone and went home to collect it and therefore was very late for school. My thought was "why on earth does she need her phone?" - she is a walking distance away from school not miles and miles away.....

Talkinpeace Fri 19-Jul-13 13:35:16

kids area allowed phones in school : the school uses SMS to send them urgent messages
but phones are confiscated if seen in use in lessons

BackforGood Fri 19-Jul-13 17:41:36

We've always worked on phoning if there's an issue, not 'tracking' them every day.

LIZS Fri 19-Jul-13 17:43:11

Only if there is a particular reason to be concerned , like bad weather and bus was running late.

Mintyy Fri 19-Jul-13 17:44:46

No! never occurred to me.

GrimmaTheNome Fri 19-Jul-13 17:45:30

No. We used to ask DD to text us when she got on the bus in the afternoon but that didn't last long. Now she only calls if the bus is going to be late (we have to pick her up from the stop).

bigTillyMint Fri 19-Jul-13 20:12:36

No. But DD texts/phones me if there's a bus/other problem. Can't remember DS doing that!

I think you might worry more if they forget?

cory Sat 20-Jul-13 13:20:01

No, school doesn't encourage mobile phones and quite frankly I would have thought it would create more worrying than it solved.

curlew Sat 20-Jul-13 13:22:54

Nope. Helicoptery.

I used to worry more if my year 7s texted me- it usually meant that they were feeling friendless and lonely.

5madthings Sat 20-Jul-13 13:30:58

Nope the school will contact me if they dont turn up. They do have a phone in case of emergencies, it was handy when snow meant buses werent running so ds1 let me know he was walking home.

mummytime Sat 20-Jul-13 13:41:58

My DCs school is pretty hot now on texting to tell you if they aren't there. But it is just one of the scary aspects of secondary school, that you say bye to them and don't see them for a long time.
How far do they have to travel? Are they with lots of other students?
If they are travelling with others then the others are usually pretty good at looking after each other. DD got stung by a wasp on the way to school, her walking companions got her first aid and helped her get to school, where she was promptly sent home (she was stung on the foot and it was swelling up).

Aquamildred Sat 20-Jul-13 13:44:26

Our school ring around half nine if they do not turn up (primary)
Local Secondary does too.

Biscuitsneeded Sat 20-Jul-13 13:55:10

No, why on earth would they not appear at school, unless they have a track record of absconding?? I would always assume they did unless school phoned to say otherwise... If you make them text you to say they've arrived and then one day they forget, you'll panic! I think kids at secondary school need to be trusted to be able to move from home to school without constant checking!!

pointythings Sat 20-Jul-13 16:46:08

We did it for the first week of Yr7, mainly for DD1's peace of mind, but after that - no. She is still alive at the end of Yr7, I'm pleased to report.

FannyMcNally Sat 20-Jul-13 16:52:31

But unless you have a tracking device, he could be anywhere when he texts grin

We can check online to see if they've been marked present at registration, but I think school would tell us pretty quickly if they hadn't arrived.

I do expect ds to text when he arrives home as I'm at work. On one occasion I got a text that said 'home safely'. I phoned him and said 'that text was interesting. Because I'm at home and you're not' shock grin Silly boy was still on the bus and just wanted to 'save time' hmm

RussianBlu Sun 21-Jul-13 17:31:40

Secondary schools don't always get around to calling you if your child doesn't turn up. I speak from experience.

valiumredhead Sun 21-Jul-13 17:33:21

The schools here text or email if children don't register do you know within about 15 mins if they aren't at school. I thought this was standard now!

MarjorieAntrobus Sun 21-Jul-13 17:36:09

No. Too helicoptery. I would assume they had got to where they were going unless I heard to the contrary.

Charlie01234 Sun 21-Jul-13 17:48:48

I asked my son to text me when he got on the bus - big change for a parent who has been walking their child to school to suddenly just let them out of the door to walk to the bus imo. Might make me helicoptery but don't care - it only lasted a few weeks by the way until I got my head round it! Do what you feel comfortable with.

DSs text me if they're going to be very late, but they expect me to do the same so that's fair. If they didn't get to school I'd get a call from the office chasing them up - schools tend to be quite hot on attendance.

xylem8 Sun 21-Jul-13 18:25:33


valiumredhead Sun 21-Jul-13 19:54:51

Clearly it's not 'weird' seeing as some schools have this in place ad matter of coursehmm

valiumredhead Sun 21-Jul-13 20:01:15

As not ad

curlew Mon 22-Jul-13 09:00:11

Not weird for school to text if the child isn't there. Weird to insist on child texting after the first week or so. Mind you, dd texted me for most of her first term- long after I had got my head round it- I think she needed to reassure herself that she had got there safely!

Yonihadtoask Mon 22-Jul-13 09:03:39


DS has only ever text me if there is a problem getting home and will be late waiting for the next bus (one per hour!) Or wants me to pick him up.

If students do not get a mark at registration then we get a text from school, shortly after 9.00 am.

2rebecca Mon 22-Jul-13 12:32:10

No, sounds like overanxious parenting to me. I never had to phone my mum if I didn't arrive. Mobile phones just seem to create extra anxiety for some people and jobs to do for their kids.

Clary Tue 23-Jul-13 20:28:07

I work in a secondary school and if a student fails to turn up without reason given (eg known medical apt/parent phones to say they are sick) the office calls all available numbers to find out what's wrong.

To answer your question OP, no, never. But then we live 2 mins walk away. But really it sounds like another thing to worry about to me.

busymummy3 Tue 23-Jul-13 23:08:20

No please don't ask your child to do this you are thinking of yourself and your feelings of anxiety not your child . Let him or her move into the big world of secondary without you hovering around in the background.
Most schools have strict policies around mobiles anyway eg ours have to be put in locker for the school day so mine don't even bother taking theirs to school.

mumeeee Wed 24-Jul-13 10:27:15

Well my CDs are alI in their 20s now and didn't have mobiles in year 7. But if they did I wouldn't have expected me to text me. The school phoned if they didn't turn up.

mumeeee Wed 24-Jul-13 10:27:43

DEs not CDs smile

louisea Wed 24-Jul-13 12:18:29

Our secondary school doesn't phone but will send a message a few days later stating that such & such sessions were missed and asking for an explanation.

Primary school calls by 9.30.

Yonihadtoask Wed 24-Jul-13 14:56:23

If DS got his mobile phone out at school to text me he would have it confiscated.

New rules are the phones have to stay in their lockers all day. Not even switched off in their bags/blazer pockets. (DS breaks the rules though and has it in his pocket, rebel!)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now