No bursary.Really sad

(45 Posts)
ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 13:39:43

Applied for ind school for dd1 mainly because it was a v small site and therefore ideal because dd has health issues.
Went to open days etc and really fell in love with the school and could see dd being v happy there.

We needed a 100 percenr bursary and today received an offer letter but no bursary.
It said dd1 is on the bursary waiting list but they would still need the deposit.

What if despite being on bursary list one doesn't become available? Then the deposit will be lost as well (that's if we can even find the deposit)

Now I feel awful for getting dd1s hopes up.It would have been perfect she is very clever but her health probs hold her back, in a small school she would not have been so tired /unwell as much.

Would there be much movement on bursary list or not?

scaevola Wed 27-Feb-13 13:50:26

If there is movement bursaries, it will happen quickly as places need to be accepted or rejected typically within a couple of weeks.

You need to ring the bursar to ask whether they expect movement, and if it is likely to release enough money to allow DD to take up a place (if they have make several smaller %age grants, then even if some are taken up it may not be enough to make an offer to you - and do yo know what level of awards they could afford this year?).

Also, ask the bursar to arrange for an extension to your accept/refuse deadline until the bursary acceptance/refusals are in: it should only be a coupe, of weeks and there is usually some flexibility in the system.

Good luck

eminemmerdale Wed 27-Feb-13 13:52:46

I have just come out of this position (sadly in a negative way) and it is really stressful. I wish you all the luck.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 13:56:00

I already spoke to the school I said would it be possible to know where on the list dd is as if she's very far down I will know there's no much possibility of her getting a bursary but they couldn't tell me anything they said by end of week they will know more as deadline is 6 march.

I just don't want to drag it out for dd if there's no hope. I have told her how well she did to pass the exams and be offered a place and that it is a shame we cannot afford it but we will sort something out.

In reality I know she will not cope at either of the state schools we put down (2 nearest to us) and will either end up part time school and home tutoring or completely home tutoring depending on health.

I know it was a long shot anyway I shouldn't have got my hopes up.

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Wed 27-Feb-13 13:57:19

There are charities which help with fees if there's a specific need.

may be able to point you in the right direction I really do hope this helps.

Perriwinkle Wed 27-Feb-13 13:59:17

What are your DD's health issues that mean she won't be able to attend a non fee paying school?

I'm sure that if she has specific needs they can be brought to the attention of the school and special provision could be aranged for her taking into account her condition/needs.

Have you looked into this or do you have your heart set on this particular school to the exclusion of all others?

I think that there are often loads of people on bursary waiting lists and it may be unrealistic for you to pin all your hopes on this school in the hope that your name will come to the top of the waiting list when you could be exploring other alternative options that might work just as well for your DD.

You could always start her off at another school and move her across if your name comes to the top of the list.

Another thing, if you need 100% assistance with the fees, always be aware of the other "hidden" costs of having a child at private school; uniform, kits, meals, extra cirricular activities, music lessons, trips etc, not to mention the sundry costs associated with keeping up with the (usually very well off) Jones" who invariably attend fee paying schools, no matter how comparibly modest the fees may be!

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 13:59:41

Thganks will have a look, I tried before to find something like that to help fund her but couldn't find anything.

Circumstances are v difficult and she has a lot of problems coupled with our finances (awful) I did think we would get something sad

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:03:51

She has Ehlers danlos syndrome, suffers pain, reduced mobility, severe fatigue and dislocations. PoTS causes dizziness and fainting and pectus excavatum causes her reduced lung cap and has made her grow crooked and neck shoulder on one side v v bad .

The ind school was next to primary currently at (ds there and all dcs have same and additional probs as genetic) not only was it v small so not much walking round (she was v ill on tour day of one of other bigger schools) it was near ds school in case he was ill too (I don't drive).

Very complicated situation it would have made things much more bearable but ob not to be.

eminemmerdale Wed 27-Feb-13 14:05:00

You mustn't give up yet smile I know it's hard but until you get that call or letter, there is still a chance.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:11:22

Perriwinkle you are right I didhave my heart set on that school. It would have enabled her to be less tired etc as not as much walking round little things like that but in the other schools it'll be harder things like how busy schools are at a larger school she might get caught in a crowd and she dislocates so easily and she will get exhausted all lesson changes and carrying ev thing.

I'm rambling I'm sorry

Perriwinkle Wed 27-Feb-13 14:13:42

Sorry to hear about your DD's problems OP and the situation you're in sad

I would definitely second trying to go down the charity route. There is somewhere in the region of 160,000 charities on the register and spending some time doing some research on the register, which can be viewed on the Charity Commission's website (www.charitycommisison.gov.uk), and the internet generally might just pay dividend.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

tiggytape Wed 27-Feb-13 14:15:12

I am sorry to hear your news
Perhaps you could also post on the Special Needs section here where lots of people know a lot about schooling.
Any secondary school is obliged to make reasonable adaptations for a child with mobility needs. I have a DC who has specific mobility issues and was advised that we could insist for example that all the lessons she attend be held in downstairs classrooms (even if it did mess up their timetables!) and the school would have to do this except where labs and special art rooms were concerned (in which case DC could be given more time to move about the school, have help with bags etc)

Please don't think that she will be thrown in at the deep end and just be expected to physically cope with life in a big school - there is lots that can be done to help her.

I know your main aim is to see how things pan out with the bursary to get her to the ideal school for her needs, but when she gets her state offer, it is also worth exploring what options will be available there as well

DeafLeopard Wed 27-Feb-13 14:20:32

ariane does your DD have a statement? If so you can specify an independent school on the statement and unless the LA can state that another school can better meet her needs, I believe that the LA may fund it.

More info here

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:22:13

I think I knew that at the ind school she would be able to generally do more as the way it is there (smaller site less changes for lessons etc) would mean that she would be doing less but still with all the other pupils if that makes sense.

To cope at a larger school she will have to have more exceptions made like changing early for lessons to avoid falls/nudges and dislocations.shorter days because walking round a large site will make her ill.She will be so different to the other pupils and she hates being unwell and being differentsad

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:24:24

She does not have a statement as the primary she was at was ok for her (small site on one level) and academically she is doing exceptionally well (g+t and she did pass the ind school exams with no tutoring so I am immensely proud of her).

seeker Wed 27-Feb-13 14:27:36

Have you been in to talk to the Head of the nearest state school to see what they can do? You might be surprised at the accommodation that can be made for her.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:32:34

I applied for nearest 2 state high schools but will not know which she has a place at till next week. I think to be honest given her problems she will need significant support and I am sure they will do what they can to help.

I just had my heart set on a school where she would have coped better and not felt as 'different' she would have needed a lot less support there it is so tiny but the other schools are HUGE I don't know I will have to just do my best to get her help she needs I think she will maybe be part time though if they allow that

seeker Wed 27-Feb-13 14:34:05

I would be talking to the Heads already if I were you. The longer they have to think about a plan for her the better.

perceptionreality Wed 27-Feb-13 14:40:13

Have you thought about applying to a different school? The thing is, with 100% bursaries then it's probably more competative to get one because the school will have fewer available than if they were offering 50% bursaries.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:40:59

I suppose I should do really. I will collect up all her medical letters, physio reports etc and make appts to go through it all with them.

I shouldn't have got my hopes up.A 100 percent bursary was a long shot. So fed upsad

perceptionreality Wed 27-Feb-13 14:41:51

Are you sure the private school will be able to meet her needs without the resources a statement can bring?

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:43:04

The closing date for bursary applications was last nov and tbh although dd could have done exams for lots of local ind schools the same problem would have applied in that the others were also too big/too far to travel to. Just the one was perfect for her so only applied for one.

seeker Wed 27-Feb-13 14:43:14

I would be pushing for a statement- lots of things won't happen without one.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:54:05

I do not even know much about statements I assumed they were if a child had problems with the work because they were unwell eg dyslexic-was I wrong.

We have been coping with dd issues by getting her into school when ok and she's doing brilliantly academically but on bad days she just doesn't attend and consequently has bad attendence (76 percent) ds1 the same situation (78 p cent) I'd be interested to know more as dd2 due to start primary next year has same issues as dd1 and is also diabetic but I was worrying how she will cope as needs huge amounts of help.

LIZS Wed 27-Feb-13 14:59:11

Even if one gets turned down it is at all likely you'd get offered the 100% you need? tbh I think you may have been kidding yourselves and agree with others a statement may at least enable you to choose a school and have support and facilities in place to meet her physical limitations (like timetabling so she doesn't have to move around the school or up/down stairs as much)

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 15:09:41

I can't see it being likely that anyone would turn down a bursary? Surely they are like gold dust!

So am I right in thinking a statement is possible just for physical issues? Dd1 has not got any other problems at all she just needs a lot of supervision as does tend to get dizzy/faint a lot and she gets exhausted. She can't do pe as dislocates joints so easily and stairs are a big issue.

Without a statement would they change things like timetable to avoid too much up+down stairs etc. Would she be allowed a slightly shorter school day? (Difficulty waking due to night time pain and physio every morn) so later start/early finish?

Floralnomad Wed 27-Feb-13 15:22:30

I think I've probably mentioned this on one of your threads before it you don't necessarily need a statement to get help in a state school . My daughter has CFS , and was unable to attend school eventually dropping out in the December of yr 8 . She is now catered for by the Health needs for education service ( might be different in your area ) and at the moment has a tutor each day but when she feels able she will go into their school which involves a lot less walking about than in a normal secondary . It's more like a primary environment for secondary children . I think you should speak to your Education welfare officer and see what is available in your area as a 78% attendance is not going to be sustainable at secondary school . Good luck .

scaevola Wed 27-Feb-13 15:27:13

People do turn down bursaries: maybe they feel they need 40% but are offered only 20% and just do not believe they can make it add up. Or perhaps there is only one state school they would contemplate and know it's chancy whether they are offered it so applied for a bursary place as a back up; if they do get it then they might turn down the independent place. But if the school has opted to make several partial awards, then their might not be enough returned to the bursary pot to enable them to make a new 100% award. Does it have to be 100%? Do you have any wiggle room at all?

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 15:27:27

Thankyou floral I will see what I can find out. I should have already think I had my head in the sand and feel stupid now.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 15:29:05

We have little or no wriggle room could possibly go down to 90 percent but lower than that we just couldn't manage sad

Floralnomad Wed 27-Feb-13 15:33:01

You've got loads of time ,don't feel bad about it you were trying to do the best you can for your child . However its worth exploring the alternatives as you will be facing it again with your others and whats the likelyhood of them all getting into an independent with a bursary?

How many children have you got in total? Is that plan for any siblings to follow their older sister in being given a 100% bursary to the same school, as you wouldn't want them spread around if you can't drive. That was always going to be a long shot.

Is it worth looking at other schools for your DD again, and maybe moving her brother to a school near her, rather than holding out for the suitable school near him?

grovel Wed 27-Feb-13 15:39:06

I'm so sorry. The great thing about bursaries is that they offer hope. The awful thing about bursaries is that they also dash hopes.

I would push for a statement, in can make things much easier and it sounds like she really should have one- I think your primary should've gone for it as it sounds awful for her. It will also heap the secondary see what she needs.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 15:53:03

I have 4 dcs, 2 girls 2 boys. The school we applied for was girls school so ob ds1+2 would have gone elsewhere.
All dcs have eds but also other diff problems so what suits one would not nec suit others its difficult.

I will wait and see what state school dd1 is offered

Terranova Wed 27-Feb-13 17:16:09

Definatly get a statement sorted. How any more years before child number 2 moves? You will have 4 children in 3 schools then, is that possible?

I'm quite SUPRISED that your current primary hadn't ever pushed for one before, as a back up, as they obviously know her condition?

I think you may have to change your plans ... A bursary is never guaranteed.

Best of luck
X

schoolnurse Wed 27-Feb-13 18:04:06

You need a statement. I have in the past looked after a very sick child who was exceedingly frail in a very large state school they literally bent over backwards to accommodate her and the two trained nurses who sat with her through every lesson. A room was also provided for to go when she felt unwell and needed complicated medical intervention and at lunch time as well.
Your current school needs to sort this out ASAP and your future school needs to be aware of your daughters conditions ASAP so that they can put measures in to assist her.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 19:16:38

Ds1 is currently in yr1 so quite a while before he would be going to high school.

I will def be looking into statements for both dd1 and ds1 I did not realise how much it could help them.

Dd1 wants to remain on the bursary waiting list but I can't see anything changing and to lose the deposit would make things even worse and I doubt any bursary offered would be a high enough percentage.

Hi Ariane, I'm pretty sure I know the schools you are talking about and agree that a statement would help, especially at NH.
I'm guessing the other state school is HEH which is quite big but mostly all on one level as far as I can tell.
I may be able to point you in the right direction re statements if you need help. PM me if you want.

ariane5 Wed 27-Feb-13 20:06:47

Yes those are the schools fivehourssleep! Will pm you !

OneMoreMum Thu 28-Feb-13 12:34:38

My nephew was in the same situaton a few years back (got offered a place but no bursary - not the health issues) and he actually did move up the list after a few weeks and got the bursary, so it is not impossible. This was in an area with a couple of private schools so perhaps those above him were offered more than one bursary and accepted at another school?

It's a long shot but just to let you know it can happen, but I wouldn't pay the deposit, explain to the school that you will definitley accept should you get the bursary but in no way can take a place without it so won't be paying the deposit, if they are reasonable they should be able to see that makes sense.

Otherwise state schools have to make arrangements to look after students with specific needs, although you will probably have to fight for it, so don't despair, you sound like a fighter!

difficultpickle Thu 28-Feb-13 13:37:34

Can't you agree with the school to pay the deposit once you get a confirmed offer of a bursary? When we were looking at a scholarship for ds we didn't have to pay the deposit until his scholarship was confirmed and we didn't have to pay a registration fee at all. Fingers crossed you have some positive news next week.

seeker Thu 28-Feb-13 14:24:40

It does sound as if you may not be getting all the help you can- have your children got a social worker?

lougle Thu 28-Feb-13 14:37:24

ariane5...it would be fantastic if you could start a thread on the Special Needs section.

You haven't been given the best support, it seems.

If your DD genuinely needs such a small school, it may be that it could be funded via a Statement - if a State school can't meet your DD's needs, the LA have to fund a school in the Independent Sector.

Alternatively, it may be that you get a Statement for her which makes the MS schools viable, but might get transport written in due to her condition.

lougle Thu 28-Feb-13 14:43:19

If you are going to apply for a Statement, you must do it this week, really.

The process takes 26 weeks so even if you apply today and it goes super smoothly, you wouldn't get the Statement until 29th August 2013.

You need to write to the Local Authority Principal SEN Officer and say:

" Dear Sir or Madam,

(child’s name) (date of birth)

Request for formal assessment

I am writing as the parent of the above child to request an assessment of his special educational needs under the 1996 Education Act.

(child’s name) attends ..................... school.

I believe that (child’s name)'s special educational needs are as follows:
<Ehler-Danlos syndrome; fatigue; poor attendance; frequent dislocations; medical features>

My reasons for believing that the school cannot on their own make the provision required to meet my child’s needs are:

<Secondary schools are large and even at primary x's attendance is 79%. She will not be able to maintain attendance at school without a large amount of 1:1 support and adaptations, especially as schools are multi-level.>

I understand that you are required by law to reply to this request within six weeks and that if you refuse I will be able to appeal to the Special Educational Needs Tribunal.

Yours sincerely,"

Obviously, you know your DD, so you will need to tweak those points.

They then must tell you within 6 weeks if they attend to carry out Statutory Assessment.

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