The Trinity-Whitgift thread of 2013 continued

(858 Posts)
Somelikeithott Sat 16-Feb-13 16:46:17

Hi all as I posted on previous thread, I realised we had hit the 1000 mark, do felt obliged to open a new one. Hope everyone finds this thread easily

hardboiled Sat 16-Feb-13 16:55:51

Very happy for your DS racegirl.
And for your boy Burnt.
And everyone else I am forgetting.
Gosh I sound like an Oscar winner.

suz742 Sat 16-Feb-13 16:56:56

Racegirl did you get your bursary info from the school or Whitgift Foundation?After yesterday's trauma of my 'missing' bursary I am anxious to get my hands on the letter stating the correct fees. I won't feel 100% until I see it in black and white. Thanks

GetMeOut Sat 16-Feb-13 17:38:29

My DS was on the wait list for 10+ last year at T and was offered a place on March 8th. So still a long time to go before all this settles out I'm afraid. However, as someone else has already mentioned only a few points separates them all and those on the wait list are not considered 2 nd best at all. The Head at T actually phoned me twice to talk this through with me and stress that he really did want my DS but was constrained by class size. When the offer eventually came through I was so pleased as i knew this was the best choice for my Ds This has proved to be correct and with the fantastic teaching and pastoral care he had really thrived there and is excited to go to school ( something I had not seen before ! ) His half term grade report was absolutely great and he is in no way struggling. So please do hang on if you can and don't give up hope or feel that waiting list is second best.

GETASHLEY Sat 16-Feb-13 17:58:09

we will be turning down a full fee place at W, and a scholarship place at T, DS was in the 10+ group, so hoping that it gives somebody on the waiting list a chance.

FatalFlowerGarden Sat 16-Feb-13 18:08:54

getashley, have you decided to take a place elsewhere, or resit next year? Feel free to ignore if I'm being too nosey btw !

GETASHLEY Sat 16-Feb-13 18:22:27

Don't worry not nosey! We thought based on income that we would qualify for bursary but as we have equity in our home we don't qualify! If we did remortgage then the monthly repayments would be tough plus have school trips etc, so state primary for another year and then back to drawing board for us!!

Best of luck to others, will be calling schools on Monday to decline offers!!

Somelikeithott Sat 16-Feb-13 18:53:53

I agree with getmeout, the schools have said in the offer letters to please let them know ASAP, as the have people on the waiting list they would really like to offer places.

Getashley, all the best to DS for the future.

Has anyone already contacted any of the schools to accept or decline offers. We are still a undecided somewhat.

suz742 Sat 16-Feb-13 19:03:13

Are the admissions teams in next week at half term?

ClangerAfterClanger Sat 16-Feb-13 19:21:56

I tried to call W today but the Admissions Team were not in so we couldn't get any more information regarding the waiting list DS finds himself on! GETMEOUT your comments about your experience have helped a lot - thank you for posting them! Logically we know there are only so many places and not to take it too personally but it is very tough. Hearing how it all worked out for you helps us "in the lurch" stay a little calmer! GETASHLEY really hope its not the end of the road for you - hope they can sort something, seems so wrong.

ClangerAfterClanger Sat 16-Feb-13 19:24:13

suz742 the person I spoke to said call again on Monday - "they will probably be back then..." Surely they will be?!

Hecticmumof4 Sun 17-Feb-13 06:42:20

Hi all,
just found this thread ( and read the other one - boy that took a few hours.
My DS is going to W on a sports scholarship which we're all really pleased about
and will accept
Can anyone tell me how they work out the scholarships?..... i'm curious as to how may are available in each year and in each category - W don't say anything about how they decide.
Well done to all who have spaces and commiserations to those who went through the wait. It's been a long process and one I am am relieved is done ( though I don't have long before I start it again with my DD!)

LoveandHope Sun 17-Feb-13 11:07:57

Hi all, this thread is addictive ! Much appreciate and admire, all the very kind words and encouragements that mums/ dads are giving to each other here.

We are from overseas and my DS is offered a place to Whitgift full boarding next year. We have passed the admission test and interviews held in our country. We will be visiting the school soon before making the final-final decision.

Your kind advice on things / aspects we should take note of when visiting the school, would be most appreciated.

Croydonmumtods Sun 17-Feb-13 13:31:14

loveandhope don't think you can fail to be impressed by W. Its a beautiful school set in beautiful grounds with fabulous facilities. My only advise would be to try and look beyond all this to make sure it is the right place for your ds. I would also suggest looking around the area if you have time. It is a built up area with lots of shops restaurants etc. Hope you enjoy your visit.

Asterisk Sun 17-Feb-13 15:16:06

A belated congratulations to everyone whose DSs who made it, and commiserations to those that didn't. Seems like there are a lot more scholarships this year than last year (or maybe just a slightly different constituency on Mumsnet this year!).

loveandhope, congrats on your son potentially being in the first cohort of boarders. The kinds of questions I would ask would include (1) how does school intend to supervise visits to town, etc. Although S Croydon is generally a safe area, I would not be happy about 12-year-olds being able to wander around on their own after school, (2) programme of activities over weekends (good balance between down-time and not getting thoroughly bored), (3) school's attitude to 'horseplay'. A friend's son ended up having to have brain surgery after a pillow fight went wrong -- a child put a shoe in a pillowcase and it unwittingly caused a serious brain injury. (4) How will school help to get DS home during holidays? Minibus to Gatwick?

I am sure you will love the school though, and that the school will make a real effort to make boarding a success.

LoveandHope Sun 17-Feb-13 23:30:33

Croydonmumtods and Asterisk, thank you.

I will ask those questions, and will explore with and show my DS of the Areas around. We are regular visitors to London, but have not been to Croydon.

The school registration / admin team have been extremely kind,responsive and helpful, and have already sorted a lot of daily / weekly / meals / airport logistics. Just that as an overseas boarders' moms, seems that we always have some more "details" to ask about.

Can you pls also point me to the must-know and /or must-visit spots around the area ? Many thanks.

Goldfish678mum Mon 18-Feb-13 08:21:54

Hi again
We are still totally at a loss of what to do after many discussions over the weekend! We are so disappointed with the bursary team who initially sent us a completely incorrect bursary offer, but also got the scholarship amount wrong and were arrogant and unsympathetic when I called them! T have however been fantastic. The admin team r terrific. We are now waiting until we get the confirmed fee amount before we can make any decision, but it looks like its going to be a lot more expensive than we had hoped! This has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make! This would be a huge financial burden for us but we just love the school and so does our DS. I suppose the question is, is it worth it in the long run? I'm new to the whole private school thing, having never gone myself, so need to assess all the benefits and opportunities of going to T compared to the local state school. Any thoughts??

goinggetstough Mon 18-Feb-13 08:26:00

loveandhope congratulations to your DS. Can I add a couple more questions to your list not as a Whitgiftt parent but as a an overseas parent?
- do ask exactly how many DSs are full boarders in your DS's year group. W offers weekly and flexi boarding too and you don't want your DS to be only one of a very few full boarders. I believe W can have a max of 100 boarders. Often the numbers will be higher in the sixth form as parents sometimes use boarding to help their DSs become independent before university. So this can skew the figures.
- what are the rules concerning the weekends? Can the boys stay away overnight every weekend or are there restrictions. If they can go out every weekend do ask where the full boarders come from. If they are nearby this could mean that many leave at the weekends after sport.
Obviously boarding is new at W but don't be fobbed off with statistics and phrases like we hope to have X number of boarders...... Your DS is going this September and you need to know exactly what the numbers are now and not what they hope they will be.
I hope you have a good visit.

Ladymuck Mon 18-Feb-13 08:28:58

Goldfish, in part answer to that question, it does of course depend on what your local state option is. If you have a Sutton grammar school place, then the differences are less, but if you're comparing it against Quest or St Mary's then the differences are huge.

Take your time with the decision, and possibly ask for another visit during school hours next week (you won't be the only parent asking for that).

Asterisk Mon 18-Feb-13 09:03:56

loveandhope Must see parts of South Croydon? Hmm... It is suburbia so there aren't many cultural highspots. Croydon is high on the regeneration agenda though, so it should get a facelift over the next few years. The Croydon Clocktower is worth visiting -- great library and nice little museum. However, the school is just half an hour by train to London, the greatest city in the world IMHO. I would hope that Whitgift would be putting on regular trips to museums and other attractions in London. A lot of the best bits of London are free (galleries and museums) so this should be feasible.

suz742 Mon 18-Feb-13 09:17:07

Goldfish, what is the situation with bursary info?I just got told mine over phone late Fri eve by T due to admin error but have nothing in writing yet. Not sure who to contact, Foundation or T. Don't want to find my hopes have been built up if figures inaccurate.
Thought the stress would have been over on 15th, not prolonged even further

LIZS Mon 18-Feb-13 10:15:25

loveandhope I'd agree with other comments here . I suspect , at least initially , it will be older home grown pupils who will take up boarding places. As a comparison the school dc attend only has a handful of boarders in Year 7 & 8 most of whom have parents overseas with a bigger influx at Year9/10. Ask about the programme for full boarders - trips, socials, use of facilities etc - pastoral care, including whether the staff responsible have previous boarding house experience, health care etc. You really don't want your ds to be alone in his dorm at weekends, although he may get invitations from new friends to stay over, and there is really relatively little in the immediate area he could get to easily.

Goldfish678mum Mon 18-Feb-13 12:06:38

Suz742 - we got a separate letter from the foundation on Friday detailing the total amount we had to pay per year. You'll probably get confirmation of this I the next few days. I think they report this to the school so I would presume the figure you received from the school should be correct. I'm sure it'll all become clear in the next few days. But to be certain you can always send the foundation an email or call them directly just to be sure. That's what we did.

suz742 Mon 18-Feb-13 12:55:04

Thanks Goldfish, I rang T earlier and revised paperwork being arranged. I then rang Foundation who hadn't had email to release the bursary. Re-rang T to request this email be sent. I agree T admissions are lovely, poor lady was very reassuring and patient.They must be inundated.
Might send Foundation email as feel bit embarrassed about ringing again. All the issues about others bursary info being incorrect has got me a bit paranoid.
Once letters have arrived I can actually feel it is happening.

bananadrama Mon 18-Feb-13 15:00:22

Goldfish - have sent you a PM.

LoveandHope Mon 18-Feb-13 15:50:53

Thanks all again for the kind advice re boarding questions to ask; and the Nearby places to know / visit.

From our country, W has offered a bit more than 10 places spreading Y9/10/12. The boarding house master is from Harrow. We have regular email contacts with him, and he is very responsive and caring. There is also a head of boarding.

Re activities, Mon - Sat seem quite packed already. Sundays is the only free period. It may be good for the boys to have some real rest with no scheduled activities; though the housemaster said trips / outings will be organized after a late breakfast. The rooms have en-suite bathroom and WIFI. For term breaks and end of school year, the school will arrange shuttle bus to the airport.

My DS is 13 going to Y10. It would be quite challenging for him as there will be many activities to try / explore , but at the same time, he needs to spend sufficient efforts on his GCSE Studies.

Can anyone tell me how they work out the scholarships?..... i'm curious as to how may are available in each year and in each category - W don't say anything about how they decide.

I don't know the details but I believe they have an amount equivalent to X full fee places (I'm sure I saw the number once but I can't remember where or what it was). This is then portioned out amongst the boys they want to offer scholarships to. I imagine they discuss each boy's performance and how much they want him to be at their school rather than a rival one.

LoveandHope Mon 18-Feb-13 16:33:11

Hi do anyone know of good Guardianship service in the area ? Many thanks.

LIZS Mon 18-Feb-13 16:36:02

I'm sure you could ask the school on that one. I've already seen ads in local press for an agency requesting for W and another school in Surrey. Maybe they could appeal via OW network too.

Somelikeithott Tue 19-Feb-13 06:47:35

Good morning all, just wondering if people have decided which school to choose and why? And how much of a say your DSs are having.

It is a big decision and we want to make sure we are making the right decision, jointly with DS.

Croydonmumtods Tue 19-Feb-13 11:25:43

somelikeithott no decision made yet but ds determined to go to W. interestingly he started off convinced T was the right school for him but now feels W is the school that will do more for him. He is very sporty so do feel W may be best option but there are obvious financial considerations. So no final decision as yet but leaning towards W and definitely including ds in decision. Have you a preference?

Is there a big difference sportswise between T & W? Both seemed similar to me (although I know nothing about sport!)

Have you read things like the Headmaster's Newsletters? I know Trinity do one every week and they're on the website. It might give you a feel for the school.

Seeline Tue 19-Feb-13 12:29:17

TBH there seems to be very little difference between the schools in terms of facilites, results and opportunities. For us it was the attitude, culture and ethos of the schools that swung it for us. We knew that T was the right school for DS in this respect.

Also, I don't think you'd regret either decision when choosing between T & W.

Croydonmumtods Tue 19-Feb-13 12:35:02

Sports facilities at W are fabulous although T isn't far behind. I have read everything about both schools and know plenty of children who are at one or other. All say their school is the best! I feel T seems to work harder on attracting the parents to the school but W seems indifferent to the parents but went out of their way to make ds feel wanted. Bottom line both are great schools and will never regret final choice. For us seems likely to be W (ds's choice/ slight edge on sports/ nearer and easier to get to). Tried asking ds 'but what if all your friends go to t' answer 'I don't care I'll still see them I'm going to W!
loveandhope I have struggled to think of even one place worth visiting in Croydon and I live here! It's not that it's awful but it is simply a functional working town. Train and bus links to London Brighton gatwick all good but not recommended for a child on their own. I would ask the question how will you stop an unhappy child getting on a bus right outside school and ending up who knows where. Pastoral care and supervision would be number 1 on my checklist but i have no doubt the school will have considered all the dangers and will be able to put your mind at rest. I'm afraid I know nothing about guardianships but imagine the school must have this information.

Zato Tue 19-Feb-13 13:45:30

Croydonmumtods having read your recent posts I'm wondering if you are my wife and we are both posting under our alias in secret smile

We have an offer at W and T but W is 99% selected. Main reasons are location (in relation to us) and DS has W as clear winner due to sports facilities. Not happy with the £3k premium over T though. Spoke to T this week and they still cannot tell me next years my view it is very poor to make you an offer that you have to commit to but cannot tell you how much it is. - Sure they would not teach this is business studies.

My other concern is that Whitgifts fees are 10% up next year on this years. Can they increase 10 % every year ? If so we are over £20k before DS leaves.
I had very little hair before this process and now I'm left looking like Homer Simpson sad

Croydonmumtods Tue 19-Feb-13 14:10:25

Zato as my dh is similarly challenged in the hair department I too am beginning to wonder if we are in fact married! All I can say is dh's fear of putting anything in writing (I was warned - no possible means of identifying us as t and w might read it!!!) makes me pretty sure you are not him. Maybe we'll meet at w in the future. grin

Somelikeithott Tue 19-Feb-13 14:21:43

Thanks all. Such a tough decision, we are finding this!

Croydonmum, like your DS ours is leaning towards W, as well. Like you as well, W made us feel like they really wanted DS and interview/ chat with us was almost like a sales speech. DS really felt at ease there. At T he really enjoyed himself as well and said the decision will be tough if he got places at both schools. There was just something about T, that made us feel warm inside. And the headmaster was brilliant!!! One scholarship is ever so slightly more than the other ( but we are trying not to make that sway things).

Zato, won't it be just interesting I'd you've found your wide on here lol!!! DH rumbled me ages ago.

Soupy, I will check the newsletters out. We know some people in both schools and the boys & DC swear by each school. I guess we are blessed to have such good opportunities open to us.

Somelikeithott Tue 19-Feb-13 14:23:51

Zato, lots of typos in my earlier post. What I meant to write is: won't it be interesting if you've found your DW on here! Lol

Zato Tue 19-Feb-13 15:03:43

Reminds of the film "You've got mail" !!!

I feel T seems to work harder on attracting the parents to the school but W seems indifferent to the parents but went out of their way to make ds feel wanted.

Interesting, as my experience was the other way round!

Anyway, like I said, I think you'll be happy with whichever you choose. There is really very little between them so I think it unlikely you'd ever wish you'd chosen the other one. For us it was easy - when going through this with DS1, he got a large scholarship to T and nothing at W. Decision made!!

It's a very exciting time - good luck with your choices smile

IIRC, DS1 preferred W - probably because of the flame throwers and exploding melons at open day. DS2 preferred W because then he would have a legitimate reason to hate DS1 hmm I ignored both of them!

Hecticmumof4 Tue 19-Feb-13 16:38:52

Soup - thx for the scholarship info
We only went for W as we all liked it.
So, we have accepted W today :-)

Anyone had calls from W or T?

Goldfish678mum Tue 19-Feb-13 16:55:20

Hi anyone know if the HM at T is in this week? I know the admin team are all there but wondered if the teaching staff were in seeing as its half term?

Goldfish678mum Tue 19-Feb-13 17:05:12

I've replied to you previous PM x

Goldfish678mum Tue 19-Feb-13 17:08:48

Hi hecticmum well done to you and your DS
We still haven't decided what to do. This is a huge decision for us so we want to make sure it's the right one. We had a call from T last Friday asking us what we thought of the offer. Unfortunately they called my husband and I hadn't even got home from work yet to open the letter so couldn't comment. Trying to get back in contact with them but I think they are away for half term. Anyone else experienced this?

I have replied to your PM - I doubt that they are completely unavailable in half term but it may take longer to get back to you.

suz742 Tue 19-Feb-13 19:10:20

Got home to bursary letter from Foundation and figures tally, so relieved, couldn't have coped with more uncertainty. Just revised Trinity letters to go.

Funny reading the posts and choices re W or T. Ours is obviously made as only bursary offer from T. So relieved it was that way round. W has always left me a bit awestruck and the interview was quite uncomfortable. T feels vibrant,so welcoming and far less intimidating. My son at the T interview was his true self, honest, funny and probably a bit controversial and they still wanted him! In contrast at W he read prose and felt he should talk about chess club rather than his passion for football. I think feeling comfortable with a school as a parent is so important as you have to manage that relationship for many years so good luck those with tough choices ahead.

LoveandHope Wed 20-Feb-13 07:19:28

Hi, have noted the following during my "research", and would much appreciate it if anyone can kindly share info / views -

1) The total number of W's upper 6 students taking A level AND IB exams in 2012 dropped to 110+ from 160+ in 2011. Are there any particular reasons?

2) Per internet files - there was a case back in June 2009 where 40+ W's 6th form students were (kind of) asked to leave the school, due to certain misbehaviour in school. Likely that this is a standalone incident only, but are there any particular conduct / discipline issues that we should take note of ?

Thank you.

Item 2 is fuss about nothing TBH. It is traditional for the leavers to play a prank on this day. This one went slightly wrong. T do it too. It is not indicative of a problem with discipline.

DS1 swears that one year a group from T kidnapped a peacock from W and it unfortunately died in transit. I suspect this is urban myth. I do know that a good few years ago, a W group dismantled a teacher's mini and reassembled it in the main hall.

kimalima Wed 20-Feb-13 17:43:19

I feel exactly the same as Suz, which is just as well as W didn't offer... Tee hee grin. Seriously T was always my first choice and I accepted the offer enroute to half term vacation on Monday. So pleased it is all sorted and no more angst.

burntoutdad Wed 20-Feb-13 18:30:53

Hi has anyone recieved a call from W? Think they are trying to get an idea of numbers of acceptances earlier.

Ladymuck Wed 20-Feb-13 18:45:35

T & W know that boys will turn down scholarships because of other offers, so they will be trying to chase down scholars to a) get the boys they want, and b) work out what they have left in the pool to negotiate with. Wouldn't expect full-fee offers to be phoned yet.

Somelikeithott Wed 20-Feb-13 20:29:53

Burntoutdad, yes they called us.

Lfs2126 Thu 21-Feb-13 09:56:40

hi love and hope, a friend of my D's at w was suspended because his hair was too short... imho there is a v traditional approach to discipline at the school, worry not x

cheammum Thu 21-Feb-13 10:42:54

Burntoutdad...just curious ...did you give W an indication of whether you would be accepting their offer...or r u waiting until 1 March to make final decision...if so what was W response...this 11+ process is so hard!!!

burntoutdad Thu 21-Feb-13 12:33:49

Hi Cheammum, from your username you must live very close to us. We told W we were considering but wouldnt confirm until we are back from holiday. We are in 10+ cohort but agree the process has been worse than we expected!

Hecticmumof4 Thu 21-Feb-13 14:50:21

Just to say, we had an email confirmation of acceptance from W today. It feels so good to have reached this point and know, there is NO MORE STUDYING and we can get on and enjoy life - it did feel like everything was on hold

Anyone else made decisions???

nothingyummymum Fri 22-Feb-13 09:52:01

Notified W today that we're accepting a place and let other school know that we're turning down the offer. Weirdly, I feel quite deflated - after all that anxiety and the months of panic, I expected at the very least harp-playing angels to accompany the letter.. maybe they will come out for the ceremonial thrashing of the pile of unused verbal reasoning books I found last night?

Shaded Fri 22-Feb-13 10:40:47

yummymum - Happy to read that am not the only one getting the weird feeling. Felt deflated after we got our acceptance letter and realised process was at an end. Guess I was too vested in the whole process - now am thinking what next and need to find myself a new challenge.

Arewetheryet Fri 22-Feb-13 14:37:59

Hmmm, DS has offers from W and T which we are still considering... All things being equal how much is travel time a consideration when making decisions.???

Arewetheryet Fri 22-Feb-13 14:40:46

Hi Shaded, reading some of your posts I think you are also considering CLSB is travel time an issue for you? We have an offer from there too however the travel time is a major issue now that its all a reality

Shaded Fri 22-Feb-13 14:56:07

*Arewetheryet' I have responded on the CLSB post - sorry am a determined interloper on the T &W thread. My son will be going to City in September and I work quite near the school. I see no problems with the commute particularly at the City end. PM if you want to discuss further.

nothingyummymum Fri 22-Feb-13 15:37:53

I meant trashing and not thrashing, of course.. congratulations on City, Shaded!

Shaded Fri 22-Feb-13 16:50:55

Thanks Yummy. Of course we are allowed to 'thrash' those papers if we choose to. And congrats everyone for your T & W places - and thanks for allowing me to join your commune.

Arewetheryet Fri 22-Feb-13 19:50:24

Unfortunately I don't have the pleasure of thrashing papers have DD in year 4 to prepare now... Hampster on a wheel comes to mind...

burntoutdad Sun 24-Feb-13 21:12:24

Back from Hols, back to reality! Thread seems to have slowed down a bit. Does anyone still have decisions to make? We will be assessing our position over the next few days. DS thinks he can get away without doing any more work at current school!
Does anyone know if W still do lake Garda trip for year 6 bonding? Looks amazing - and free smile!

EyesWideClosed Sun 24-Feb-13 22:26:48

Thread has practically ground to a halt! DS did really well with scholarship to W but now, strangely, feeling a bit deflated. He is 10+ and we are wondering whether we should opt out this year and try for a place at W again next year along with the grammars, or let him go for a year and sit the grammar tests in Sept. This will be right when he has just started, not great for bonding, I imagine. Also, I think W would not be very impressed. Thoughts anyone?

Croydonmumtods Mon 25-Feb-13 00:16:45

eyeswideclosed this is a difficult call and only you can decide but personally I would not move a child for one year if there's a chance you will move them again next year. I don't believe the school would be impressed but more importantly what if your ds really likes the school and wants to stay? If that's not an option then probably best to wait and do 11+ and make decision based on all options (grammars/ T/W). I thought your previous posts indicated preference for T?. Anyway good luck with decision and very well done to your ds for w scholarship.

Mellisa Mon 25-Feb-13 09:05:43

Is old palace whitgift really going down it worries me a bit since my daughter has been offered a place after 11plus in old palace, notredame senior school in cobham and Sutton high old palace is my favourite but i am confused which one to choose from I have two more girls 5 and 6 which primary state schools will bo ok for them I am not sure about moving to Croydon is it a nice place to live

Mellisa Mon 25-Feb-13 09:07:22

Is ladymuck there can you advice me about the schools in Croydon or any one else

burntoutdad Mon 25-Feb-13 09:22:25

eyeswideclosed you would not be the only parent considering this option as I have heard this discussion a number of times. The main reason given for doing this is financial i.e. put DS in 10+ at W as a back up in case he doesn't pass the grammar test, but if he does then go to Grammar as its less of a financial strain.
I think that the private schools are well aware of this tactic (and yes are not very impressed) at W they hold you to a payment of 1 term if you leave early (although still a huge saving over the 6 yrs if you moved). Some things to bear in mind in addition to those given by croydonmumtods are:

1. W (I believe anyway) gives more than just an academic schooling to your DS. I thought that there was a big difference to the feel and ethos of the school the attitude of the boys etc which In our case was more suited to our DS1. I think im saying that it seemed much more than just a 'good school' which is what I thought of Sutton Grammar. But unfortunately it comes at a price. So it depends on what you want for your DS, personally i would have loved the opportunity to go to a school like W or T.

2. The W & T exams are much easier and have lower pass marks than the Grammar schools (SG, Wilsons, Wallington etc.) who are seeing year on year increases in entrance exam passmarks and number of applicants (1800 boys this/last year). So DS passing the W exam does not necessarily mean that they will pass the Grammar exam (or more accurately may pass the exam but the top results are so high that a place isn't guaranteed). This is the risk that you would take turning down your offer now, but if Ds did really well academically maybe you are confident that he would pass. In our case, even though DS is bright and in top set for Maths and English (and did well at W exam with scholarship) he is not the 'top of the top set' and it is usually these boys who generally seem to end up at the grammars. Even if he did get in he would be competing academically against these all through school. At W although all bright in some way there is more of a mix.

3. Although your DS is understandably your main priority there are parents on the waitlist for instance that would desperately love for their DS's to get offered a place and would miss the chance because of the parents that take 10+ places knowing that they are going to move DS next year. In this case it is more 'ethical'? (not sure if right word) if you turn down your place if you intend to do 11+ rather than take someone else's place as a 'safety net'. If you would have asked me before this process I would say that it would be a good idea to take the place, but now knowing the stress and pain parents and DS's go through to get this far (just by reading the posts here!), i don't think i would take the decision lightly to take a place i didn't intend to keep.

4. Bonding with peers is i think difficult for boys unless there is a common interest (sport for instance). You would be moving DS between 3 schools, which is 2 new starts, 3 sets of peers, 3 different schooling methods. Maybe not the best start, but depends how confident and social he is. For us it would be the worst thing we could do as DS is very shy and hold back until he gets to know someone (which sometimes takes a while), but for you may not be a problem.

5. There have been several posts with parents saying that they are feeling deflated. I can understand the big relief now its all over, but am I the only one feeling exited at the prospect of my DS attending a fabulous school? We have worked hard for this and wanted nothing else (other than the belief that ALL schools should the same, so parents don't have to stress over where DC's go!) so its like winning a major trophy!. I cant wait for him to start, i want to learn through him learning, some of the subjects look very interesting, he is excited and counting down the days to his first day. Are we being naïve?
If I felt deflated, I think I would perhaps question if it is what I really wanted, it is a big commitment.

Just my thoughts, sorry to ramble. Hope of some use. Reading back its as though im trying to convince myself but really the only downside i can see is financial.

burntoutdad Mon 25-Feb-13 09:24:11

Which is a BIG downside sad

GetMeOut Mon 25-Feb-13 10:15:22

Very well said, burnout dad. I have a j-bug at T ( year 6 ) so he started at 10+ in Sept ( I posted about my wait list experience). It would absolutely break his heart to be pulled out now to go to a new school at 11+. Not only has he invested a lot of emotional effort into settling in, so has the school, but I heartily agree that it is so much more than an education. His whole out look on life is changing and how it is going to be developed is going to become even more important as they move into
their teenage years.
I agree financially it is a big committment but you only get one chance at these formative years.
Good luck with your decision and yes, you have masses to look forward to burnoutdad !

Somelikeithott Mon 25-Feb-13 10:40:28

Hi all,

We are still yet to make a firm decision, but DS has his preference. I'm testing the waters to make sure his preference is for the right reasons and not 'peer' pressure.

As for feeling deflated, I did wonder when I read the posts on here if that's what I was feeling. I have to say, I was very excited to have received the good news on the Friday but by Monday it was a feeling of anti-climax, but now as I have visited the schools again in a bid to help our decision making, I am looking forward to DS going into big school and being exposed to lots of different opportunities. DS is really excited as well. So I would say 5% anticlimax and 95% enthusiastic. I think once we have sent the letters back to choose, it will get even better ( I hope). I think also it is all the spare time we have on our hands now, even DS asked me this morning on the school run, if he can get more work to do now. ( shock, I need the rest, even if he doesn't).

So we just need to make a decision now and get on with it. I believe Lake Garde is still on. They definitely had it last year.

Seeline Mon 25-Feb-13 10:55:51

I can only agree with everything GetmeOut has said, also having a J-Bug at T. He too has settled well - although it did take time and effort on all sides. The thought of continuing the extra work to have to sit 11+ exams after we had accepted the Y6 place would have finished us all I think. Let alone having to sit a whole raft of exams just as he was starting to find his feet at a new school. I really do not think DS would want to start all over again somewhere next year - it would be very unfair on him.

suz742 Mon 25-Feb-13 10:58:56

After being nearly a week behind everyone else with my paperwork due to admin error I have spent this a.m getting everything in order. Sent off a "No thanks" to W, wrote letter to current HM, thank you cards to DS teacher and Deputy Head who are so supportive of him and box of biscuits for staff room. Hand delivered a big "Yes" to T and feel so blessed to be here. After having the experience of knowing I would have to turn down the places I fully appreciate the opportunity available to my DS.
Any T parents able to share what happens next, a parent/child morning in summer term? Do the boys then go on a bonding trip in early yr 6?

Seeline Mon 25-Feb-13 11:08:53

Welcome suz grin
Ds started in Y6 last September. From memory there was a new boys and parents morning at the end of June when the boys were taken off and put into their classes, shown round the school again, met their form tutors and had a general chat, whilst the parents listened to talks from HM, and other senior staff. We then went off to meet the form tutors with the boys for a quick chat. We could then go off to try some of the music department facilities, visit the school outfitters display etc. THere was a second hand uniform sale as well.
The boys term started the day before the main school, being in for the afternoon to get their access cards and a 'treasure hunt' round the school. Timetable etc was the next full day.
They went on a 3 day activity break to Norfolk at the end of September. I was more apprehensive the Ds I think - not really knowing any of the boys he was going with or the staff! He had a great time though and it really helped him to make some friends.
Your Ds will have a fantastic time - feel free to ask any other questions - someone here will know the answers!

Somelikeithott Mon 25-Feb-13 11:16:18

Seeline, you are getting me all excited now ( doesn't take much really). Your post makes it all so real. Definitely can't put DS ( or the whole family for that matter), through all this again next year. It hasn't been horrendous or anything near, but it does take it's toll. DH & I are now making conscious efforts in spending solo time with other DC.

Seeline Mon 25-Feb-13 11:33:04

I know what you mean somelikeithot I think DD definitely suffered through the process. Nevermind I've got it all with her 1 or 2 years time sad
Tell you something though - the rest of the school year will drag terribly in some respects, but in others it will fly by. At that point your terribly-grown-up 10 year old DS will suddenly seem incredibly young grin

suz742 Mon 25-Feb-13 11:56:38

Thanks Seeline, sounds fabulous and I'm definitely more excited than him. Funny when the decision comes at half term as he's not mixed with his friends so he's not had a chance to share the news apart from with family. I'm sure the whole school will know by the end of today!
Feels a bit odd that he will miss yr6 but I've promised him some sort of party to say goodbye to his friends and mark the beginning of a new adventure.

kimalima Mon 25-Feb-13 12:19:59

Just about to post my acceptance to T.
Verbally accepted via telephone last week but only just back from half-term break so catching up with the admin part.
My DS is the 11+ cohort so guess will be joining some of your DS's already at T.

So very happy to have made the decision. T is definitely the right school for DS.

AspiMum Mon 25-Feb-13 13:16:04

Hi All,
I am a newbie here. First of all thanks a lot to mumsnet for such a wonderful wealth of info.
My DS has secured a place in Whitgift but unfortunately on Full fees. When I called Admission, they told me that he has performed excellently in the exams but he missed some during interview. I was expecting some scholarship aid and bit shocked to see that he couldn't get any. So I am in confusion whether to stretch my budget towards fees or appear for Year 9. But my DS is so upset that he couldnt get any scholarship and worrying that we may not put him in the school.
I just wanted to know approximately what percentage of pupil get in WG on scholarship. Any one please guide me as I need to talk to my other half and take decision soon.
Many a thanks

hardboiled Mon 25-Feb-13 14:00:32

Hi all, congrats to those who have decided and are happy about it! I thought the exam period would be the toughest thing and boy was I unprepared for the choosing! It has been such AGONY. I was in tears writing rejection letters this morning. Yes, I know, that's just mad. What can I say. I think it's some kind of postpartum big adrenaline drop.

I absolutely love T and would have loved to see DS there but we have decided to go for a closer school, which is a fantastic school DS loves too, so it's all good and the sensible choice. Good luck to everyone and I wish your DC the best as of September.

burntoutdad Mon 25-Feb-13 14:20:03

AspiMum - not sure of numbers gaining scholarship but do know that this year the 'pot' has been slashed dramatically so scholarships are not as high as previous years. Would guess a lot of them have been 5 - 10% (say in sport/music) 15 - 20% (all rounder) some slightly more. Only exceptional DS's (academic/sport/music etc) will have got the 30 - 50% and I expect there are not many of those this year. Some would be topped up with bursaries too of course. We are unlucky in that we chose this year to apply!

AspiMum Mon 25-Feb-13 15:00:43

@burntoutdad - Thanks a lot for the info. Too many contributions by you to this thread. So again thanks. With full fee, can any one get a place in these schools or still the schools consider the academic (both entrance and school report) performance? In some blog i read that the ratio is 1:2 (ie., scholar : non-scholar :: 33:66). Is it true? Just trying to get my head around these figures. My other half didnt show interest in applying for bursaries as he thought it should go to the right people. But I read here that if the income is below 70K and dont own a house, it will be easy to get bursaries. I called the school 10 days back but they told it is too late to apply for bursaries now. Also one parent has told if DS enters as non-scholar, he can't change to scholarship group for first two years. So real test on the depth of pockets.

Also can any one tell other than the fees how much extra that we need to spare for other things like trips etc per annum?

@hardboiled - sad to hear the decision but a lot of families do take the same decision I guess unless they are well prepared already to face the financial issue. For sure your DS will shine in the other school without doubt. So please don't worry.

Seeline Mon 25-Feb-13 15:26:34

Aspimum - both T and W are selective schools, picking pupils on the basis of their performance at entrance exams and then interviews. For scholarships in sport, music etc further assessments are made before any scholarship offered.
AFAIK if the student is not offered a scholarship on entry to the school, there is no opportunity to reapply later (although entry to the 6th form may be another opportunity - I don't know).

burntoutdad Mon 25-Feb-13 16:02:26

AspiMum - yes lots of posts! Found solace here during late nights working and stressing about the entrance exams smile.
Afraid it is too late to apply for bursary this year but next year you may be able to if you explain that circumstances have changed. Bursaries have to be means tested every year, scholarships are fixed. They have a sliding scale for bursaries so up to 75k I think may still qualify for a little help (if you have no equity etc.)
As seeline explained the entrance exams and interview select the boys, so being a lottery winner still wouldn't get you in (unless you offered to build a new science block) wink
With regards to extras we are wondering the same, I think the trip for year 6 to Italy is free, but some of the amazing trips they do would cost a fair bit. Not sure if compulsory though.
On top the uniform + PE+ bits & bobs must be around the £300 mark, plus extra shirts etc.
School meals are compulsory in lower school - i don't know but maybe little change out of £4 - 5/day including 'tuck shop' money. And of course the school bus isn't free and does add up although it can be very convenient depending on where you live. If not using school bus account for transport costs.

Ladymuck Mon 25-Feb-13 16:29:14

Certainly the numbers aren't 1:2 for academic scholars. It used to be the case that there was a scholarship pot of up to 10 full fee spaces per year with 50% being the maximum (and usually only one or two per foundation school per year, with a 10% being more normal), but it sounds as if the pot has been cut. Once in the school there is no differential between the scholars & full fee payers, so there is no scholarship group as such. And hundreds of boys have not got a place this year - it is definitely an academically selective entry. I git the impression that they were looking at 40 potential academic scholarship candidates this year, and I think that they assume up to a third or half will reject.

In terms of kit I would suggest that you make full use of the second hand shop - the amount of lost kit is stunning. A full shop kit out will be over £500 excluding footwear.

PopcornPizza Mon 25-Feb-13 20:51:24

Decision made, T it is. DS is very happy, and is already looking forward to the new adventure ahead. Hardboiled, sorry our DS's won't be at school together but indebted to you for starting this thread and for the support and solace it has provided through the admissions process. Thank you to all who have shared their experiences, it's been so helpful to travel though this journey together.... thanks
Good luck to everyone's DC as they approach secondary school, I hope each and every one will find themselves in the right school for them where they will flourish and blossom.

EyesWideClosed Mon 25-Feb-13 21:05:53

croydonmumtods-you are right, we do have a preference for T; it's just that we allowed ourselves to be swayed by a scholarship to W. Looking at the figures though, there's hardly anything in it, and we will go for T. burntoutdad-your ramblings provided food for thought. Our situation is that ds' current school is a failing school and we think a new and exciting change will be great for him. We hadn't expected to get this far. Like others, we only did the 10+ to test the waters, as it were, and ended up with a place. We love the school but the financial cost is a huge consideration. If ds were to get into a grammar (and we almost certainly will try), we will be faced with a painful decision. It's a really tricky one but it's a year's amazing experience that I don't want ds to miss out on, now that he has the opportunity. I do take your point about other parents who are looking at the place as an 8 year one for their ds, and have missed out this year, but it would be for us too if the financial cost weren't such a big elephant in the room.

racegirl87 Mon 25-Feb-13 21:13:15

I think the news is finally sinking in with us all. My ds keeps hugging me and saying 'I'm going to Trinity' with a huge grin on his face. He told his friends at school today and his teacher and they were all so happy. His teacher was shocked as she didn't know he had applied but then really supportive of his decision. He wants to start now though and the next 6 months are going to go very slowly I think.
Rather than a low, it's been gradual high as we never really thought it would happen. We didn't know much about anything really when we sent ds off to the exam day except we loved the ethos and feel of the school and it would suit our ds perfectly.
Getting the interview was a shock and then being accepted and getting a bursary still seems unreal so I think it will take a while to really realise what ds has achieved.
I'm sending our acceptance tomorrow and can't wait to receive all the info. Also nervous about costs of trips, uniform etc.. But don't have a choice. Can't turn down this opportunity.
So glad there are other people to share excitement - strange to think that some of us will meet and not know we've shared all this on here!!
Hope this thread continues so we can keep each other sane during the coming months.

EyesWideClosed Mon 25-Feb-13 21:20:46

racegirl87- Is your ds 10+? It is very exciting, and my ds wants to start now too. We loved the caring environment of the school and all the boys seemed so lovely. There seems to be so much to do and from what I've read of the curriculum (you can read it in detail on the website), the learning seems so much more interesting compared to my lessons!

burntoutdad Mon 25-Feb-13 22:18:53

eyeswideclosed - Now you've made your decision you can relax for a while. Although i suppose now you will be working towards the grammar tests. Dont know if i could take anymore (until ds2!). Good luck to you and your DS.

racegirl87 Mon 25-Feb-13 22:23:45

ewc yes 10+ for us. Read through all the clubs and activities and he wants to do them all (except football and rugby!!). Was intrigued by Whiff Whaff club which after research turns out to be ping pong!!! Very hard sums is top of the list followed by debate and choir (there seems to be a lot of choirs!!).
Hoping the varied curriculum will bring the non-existent latent sportsman out in him but not holding my breath!!
Do you know how many children will be in junior year?

Croydonmumtods Mon 25-Feb-13 22:24:51

eyeswideclosed so pleased you have made a decision you feel completely happy with. Sometimes putting it all in writing helps.
burntoutdad hope you had a good holiday - you have certainly set this thread alight again since your return. We,like you, are hoping to finalise decision in the next few days with W our preference despite the cost. I console myself with the thought that it's the best investment I can ever make.
hardboiled so sorry things didn't go quite to plan but I have no doubt your ds will be fine and pleased that your local school is a good one.

All the very best to everyone else we should agree a strange handshake or password for when we meet at new parents evening although that could lead to all sorts of different problems which would need a whole new thread!

I don't think I'm quite ready to go cold turkey from this thread just yet as it has kept me sane and provided much entertainment so thanks to you all.

EyesWideClosed Mon 25-Feb-13 23:04:24

racegirl87 I think that it's between 40-45 for the 10+ entry over two forms. Can anyone confirm this?

AspiMum Mon 25-Feb-13 23:40:14

Seeline & Ladymuck - Thanks a lot for the quick inputs.
@burntoutdad & cheammum - Have you decided to go with W?
As a few others said here I am also not convinced with the school's communication. We called today to know more about the costs that wont be included in the fees (as the site says very comprehensively) and wanted to know about the sports facility, especially about swimming and badminton as my DS is keen on both. 4 times I tried and every time my call was sent to sports center though I specifically requested them to put me through one of the Sports Directors. I gave up after 45 minutes of try. From Sports center manager, I heard that to use the facilities outside school hours we need to take family membership (if parent take membership, DS's membership will be complementary). But he didnt know whether school will give any special coaching for the kid if he shows good interest and progress. Any one has got clue on this? If so please do share.
Also when inquired the Admin team, we were told DS can get internal scholarship which will be monitored continuously and awarded at the beginning of every year. When we told that we read from one internet site that the internal scholarship will be awarded only when the boy completes 2 years, the admin member said that's true but still they may consider in exceptional cases - quite confusing again - what are they trying to say???? Seeline told this is highly unlikely though not sure. So any one here to share any info on this please?
One of my friend has told the Asst Head is quite responsive. Other than that I didnt hear any good stuff about the school members.
Do Any one already accepted W offer? Here I have seen many have accepted T over W. So would like to know any one who is happy to go with W.

cheammum Tue 26-Feb-13 00:45:09

AspiMum....accepted 11+ W offer on full fees basis since last week...and very happy with decision academic or sports scholarship offered...but wasn't expecting it ...although would have made the decision making process a lot easier as to whether to accept offer. Ds attended 2 day sports course last week and was adamant that even though he didn't enjoy as much some of the sports on the first day eg. hockey and rugby ( complained that it was too muddy) by the 2nd day he was sure that W was the school that he wanted to attend... Had a great time and loved to my surprise learning how to play golf, table tennis for example...Revisiting the school helped me make sure that I was doing the right thing...W seems the right environment to bring out the best in my Ds....he is bright but needs to be around other boys that are competitive and have worked hard to get a school place ...We have other good state school backups but we know our son best and know that he will not work to the the best of his ability if not pushed...What I love about W apart from the lovely grounds is that aspirations are set high and there is a good ethic social regardless of wether you are a great at sports, music or performing our Ds if he works hard has the opportunity to maybe one day go to Cambridge or Oxford is not just a pipe dream...

The boys were friendly, the staff helpful and facilities great and Mr Becks is very approachable so if you have any concerns maybe try and contact him ...So yes ... It may be a bit of a financial struggle...but we think W is a great investment for our Ds based on where we live (T just that bit too far for us) ... and so think it is worth every penny. Hope you come to decision shortly ... You'll do what's best for your family in the end!

cheammum Tue 26-Feb-13 07:18:05

AspiMum ... forgot to mention that Ds loved the swimming although not the greatest swimmer and found badminton really fun...I think that Ds will be so busy with new clubs, making new friends, learning new activities and learning in a challenging environment that he won't be bored and therefore look forward to getting up in the morning for school....this is not happening currently while in Yr6 in state school because they are mainly concentrating on everyone achieving SATs at Level 4 standard, so Ds is becoming increasingly frustrated. W is the right school for our Ds and will bring out the best in him and hopefully he will make the most of all the new and exciting opportunities that it has to offer...In the end although this 11+ process has been the most stressful thing that I have ever done I am now so relieved that it is over and can now move onto the next chapter of secondary school highs and I say roll on September 2013...can't wait!

burntoutdad Tue 26-Feb-13 08:15:22

Aspimum - I think we are going to decide to go with W. We are just making sure that we can commit, as you are, with all the additional costs. For instance as we are 10+ I don't like the idea of DS travelling on public transport in first year so school bus is an extra £250 /term. £500 for outfits as ladymuck has stated etc etc. But I think cutting back on the wine etc (lots and lots to help us through the last few months wink!), no further holidays, and trading the car for a donkey should get us through.
On a more serious note, we expect a lot from a school costing this much money, but they cannot be expected to make a 'star sportsman' out of someone who is not exceptional already in a particular sport. They will nurture and teach and help anyone who shows an interest in a certain sport and there are a,b,c,d,& e teams so that anyone can have a go. But the school cannot say yes we will give you a scholarship post entry until they have seen the level of performance that is required. As an example, I believe the Olympic discuss thrower started as a rugby player, but showed an exceptional talent in discus so the school nurtured that and helped him on his way. It makes the school look good too. If your DS shows this level of talent in any area, sports or otherwise you can be rest assured that they will do all they can to help. If he is just as good as the other boys (who all have talent in some way) then a post entry scholarship will be very unlikely (IMHO).

Croydonmumtods Tue 26-Feb-13 08:48:51

aspimum little more I can add to what has already been said. Mr Beck is lovely and I'm sure if you speak to him he will put your mind at rest. Some sports are included in the curriculum others are available as after school clubs but bear in mind the teachers running after school clubs will be looking out for talented boys so impossible to imagine a talented child can slip through the net. Regarding scholarships I believe these can be negotiated whilst at the school but I would expect only considered for exceptional boys (ie county or country players in sports) who the school do not want to risk losing. My ds like burntoutdads is very competitive but needs a push to perform to his best both academically and in sport. He choose W as his preferred school as he knows they will get the very best out of him and he is prepared for all the hard work and effort this will entail.
burntoutdad you can always send ds to school on the donkey and what with renting it out for Christmas etc might not be such a bad ideasmile.

burntoutdad Tue 26-Feb-13 09:14:01

Croydonmumtods - LOL! Brill idea, could leave donkey stations at the school bus stops to hire as alternative transport - bit like Zipcars etc. How funny would that be, all those 'whitgiftians' riding donkeys to school? If the economy gets any worse we could be on to a winner here. Mind you the donkeys will probably end up in the food chain grin.
Btw heard another story this morning about a parent convinced that they were offered a 50% scholarship at interview only to recieve a full fee offer! This thread would have given them some insight.

Seeline Tue 26-Feb-13 09:26:29

racegirl & eyes - certainly this year the Junior form has 44 I think, in 2 forms.
I didn't find uniform costs too bad for T. It's all available from Hewitts in Croydon, but the school are quite happy for the boys to wear white shirts and dark grey/black trousers from ASDAs etc! Similarly, the school jumper is not compulsory, and a grey jumper can be bought from other shops which certainly helps keep the costs down.
So far, the activity break was free and the only thing that I have been asked to pay for was the Christmas lunch if DS wanted it (£3.99). Obviously there are lots of trips on offer but it is entirely up to you which, if any, of these you take up. Currently they have ranged from theatre trips, to skiing to trips to the WW2 battlefields. At the moment we have stood back from these to see what is offered later - most seem to happen most years so other opportunities will crop up. We haven't yet had a school 'curriculum' trip offered so not sure about these.
I would strongly recommend the school web site - you have access to the school term diary which lists most activities. You can also see the 'letters sent home' section in the parrents section which will show you some of what is on offer. The HM newsletter each week is also very informative.

cheammum Tue 26-Feb-13 10:00:11

Burntoutdad & Aspimum..just to add, that what makes W so appealing to us, is that the former W student Olympic discuss player L. Okoye ( and there are other boys like this as well) was actually offered to study Law at Oxford (but deferred taking up place until after the Olypmics).. so although a sporty school W seems to nurture, encourage and support these boys to work hard so that they can aspire to be the best that they can be, and strive to get into good universities as well...which might not happen in a good but ordinary state school. I was very impressed also with the views and ethos of the Headmaster.. he seems to really care about the boys ( have a look at the W website-latest news section)....there is a link of Headmaster being interviewed on Sky news a few weeks ago commenting on Michael Goves u turn on GCSE fiasco...Theres a lot to consider, but hopefully this thread will help make it a little easier for you to decide what best to do in the long run.

Croydonmumtods Tue 26-Feb-13 10:36:08

And another thing ; When Victor Moses (ChelseaFC) was chosen to play for England in his GCSE year W insisted he had a personal tutor to ensure he kept up with his school work and negotiated this with the FA.

cheammum Tue 26-Feb-13 11:10:35

Croydonmumtods ----I think we've done the same research ...defintely sold on W now for sure!

Aspimum/Burnoutdad ---although an added expense, the school bus to me is also of a huge benefit to me...because I know that I will no longer have to do the dreaded school run in the morning if I so wish, but know my Ds will get to school safely in the morning ( without mucking about at the bus stop and getting himself into trouble...which is of great concern to me).

I could go on...but I need to go and do some work...I just think W is great!

burntoutdad Tue 26-Feb-13 11:49:34

Croydonmumtods - Re Donkeys. If we had a joint venture using our usernames we would be 'BurntoutCroydon'.... on second thoughts maybe not a good idea!

therugratref Tue 26-Feb-13 12:05:21

I sent off the acceptance letters for the boys for Whitgift and have received confirmation that they will start in September. So far for Whitgift 10+ it looks like just you and I Burntoutdad

therugratref Tue 26-Feb-13 12:06:11

Sorry and Croydenmum

therugratref Tue 26-Feb-13 12:06:54

Italy trip is on according to the email I was sent.

BurntoutCroydon That's so 2011 wink

Croydonmumtods Tue 26-Feb-13 12:25:30

burntoutdad LOL. I have visions of the donkey tearing across the lawns chasing the peacocks. Think it would be a lovely addition to the menagerie. Very excited about September. Really hard to focus on the term and a half he has left at school and can definitely sense that DS in his head has moved on already.

burntoutdad Tue 26-Feb-13 12:29:15

therugratref - That trip sounds amazing! Sailing on Lake Garda, cycling a trip into Venice and a week without DS! I think the form tutors go along to a acquaint themselves with the boys and vice versa. What a fantastic start to a new school.

burntoutdad Tue 26-Feb-13 12:41:13

croydonmum - Yes Im with you there. We're having the 'do I really have to do homework if i'm leaving' conversations already. A bit worrying because they still have 6 months of learning to do, and it will no doubt pick up a pace going from state yr 5 to W year 6. Read somewhere that lower school have 1hr/day homework increasing to 2hrs/day as they go

Tell your DSs that W/T will be looking at their end of year school report from Y5 and using this in some nefarious way.

AspiMum Tue 26-Feb-13 12:55:42

@Cheammum - Thanks a lot for all the info. I feel like seeing myself in the mirror when I read your post as mine is almost similar to yours. My DS is in level 6 in maths and 5 in English. Not getting much benefited from current state school. Before Grammar school exams he fell sick for 3 weeks. So I didnt want to push him hard for the exams. Like your DS, mine also needs always a push to do things (Do all boys are like that??? smile ) I am not happy to send him again to state school but was wondering will W be good choice to go on Full Fees. I am getting convinced with your info now.
Did you book the sports course after accepting the offer or before? If before, did you tried using the contact details given in the site? (

Ladymuck Tue 26-Feb-13 12:56:26

I do think that the Garda trip is quite a big pull for 10+ v 11+. Though feel sorry for those who were 9 just a week or so earlier! Well probably more for the mothers - the boys seem to have a whale of a time.

burntoutdad Tue 26-Feb-13 13:26:25

rugratref - didn't realise there were so few W 10+ on here. Im not sure but were there some others on previous thread who have not followed this thread?
Shall we do a fun poll to find out?
If we all just type and post W 10+ , W 11+, T 10+, T 11+ & Other choice
we could do a count.

Somelikeithott Tue 26-Feb-13 13:28:32

I've not been able to catch up on Today's posts, just read the last few. On yet another conference for a few days, but good to see lots of posts for me to dig into later when I've got time to myself.

I did notice a few posts on DSs having moved on to W/T in 'spirit'. We have told DS his offers are conditional, on his school reports until the end of the academic year, so may still be withdrawn. ( covers face, in shame). DS always needs a challenge to keep him out of mischief !!

AspiMum Tue 26-Feb-13 13:51:05

@burntoutdad - Good idea . Also if we can add some details (if wish to disclose)
FF (Full Fees),
MS (music Scholarship)
AS (Academic Scholarship)
Bu (Bursaries)

Here is mine - W 11+ FF

Somelikeithott Tue 26-Feb-13 13:52:42

10+, not quite decided ( but almost)

cheammum Tue 26-Feb-13 13:55:36

Aspimum ----I think it is a boy thing (well in my case it seems to be)...this is the 2nd time going through the 11+ process. Already have a Dd who passed all the grammar school exams very well and is now in Yr8 at Nonsuch...looking back it was so much easier as she is quite academic but just seemed to get on with the work without making too much of a fuss..With Ds however it has been like world war 3 in our house for the past 2 years...he is bright but lazy and so just needs a kick up the backside and this is what he will get by going to W..He didn't do well enough for the grammars so I do not have that issue to contend with..i.e. What if he we sent him to X,Y, or Z school when the state school results come out on Fri.

We do not have to worry about the financial costs of putting 2 children into private school as Dd is already at an excellent grammar for us although a difficult decision financially, we are willing to make sacrifices so that Ds2 has the same opportunities as Dd1. The fees are high I know, but I think with the New Boarding School, the revamping of Croydon i.e building a new Westfield Shopping centre by 2015, understanding and caring teachers,talented boys in all fields (not just sport) I think Whitgift will gain an even better reputation and will become a sought after school.

Look at the BBC school league tables 2012 - AAB scores in key A level subjects- Whitgift is amongst some of the top schools; whereby a high percentage of boys take facilitating subjects that get them into the top Russell Group if Whitgift was just a "Sporty" school this wouldn't be the case.

I booked the Sportscourse well before I got an offer from W...I have visited many schools both private,state comprehensives,grammars etc....and I knew straight away that when I saw W it was right for my Ds. ( It may not be as academic as some of the top Independents like Kings College Wimbledon etc...and I knew that my Ds would struggle in a school like that so I did not venture down that route...however at W I know he will eventually do really well if he has supportive parents behind him and will reach his true potential.

With regards to the Sports course Mr Becks organises it (it was nice to see him casual in tracksuit making the boys feel at ease) There is another sports course running at the being of July for 4 days...would love to to it again but Ds will still be at school...don't finish until end of July.

If I was you, I would maybe contact the school again and ask to speak to Mr Becks personally (he is willing to answer any queries you might have) or ask to speak to The Sports Director, his name is Alistair Osborne...or maybe see if you can get an appointment at short notice to have a quick look around the school again before Friday) that you are 100% sure that you are doing the right thing taking into account your own personal circumstances.

Hope this helps.

AspiMum Tue 26-Feb-13 13:58:59

Thanks Cheammum, Croydonmum and burntoutdad for your info. As others said this thread becomes more addictive.
@Cheammum - Yes I have got very good feedback on Mr.Beck. He helps a lot for the parents in getting the info in detail. For sure he will be a key reason for parents to decide W.

@burntoutdad - What is this Italy trip? You have mentioned about this in 2 of your posts. Is it mentioned in the school site? any more light on the same will be helpful.

Somelikeithott Tue 26-Feb-13 14:39:18

Aspimum, the Lake Garda in italy,trip is a bonding trip for the 10+ boys in W. traditionally happens 2nd week of term they join. ( I believe).And it is a way of the boys getting to know each other and members of staff that go with them, and vice versa. The beauty of it is its free ( well, included in fees already, as DH always tells me nothing is free). So parents don't have to pay anything extra at the time.

Kylep Tue 26-Feb-13 14:51:04

Accepted offer from T today roll on sept, I'm so excited for my ds he's got an amazing school to look forward to

AspiMum Tue 26-Feb-13 15:54:43

@Cheammum - Interesting to hear your experiences. We are almost at the verge of accepting the offer. We will decide soon.

@Somelikeithott - Thanks for letting know about the details of the trip. Are there any trips to 11+ as well?

Any one other than Cheammum are with DS opting W for 11+ here?

FatalFlowerGarden Tue 26-Feb-13 16:38:37

I'm still hoping to be able to accept a 10+ offer from W. Am waiting on the results of a bursary review... fingers crossed they find us a way this year because I really don't think I can handle all this again next year!

FatalFlowerGarden Tue 26-Feb-13 16:40:04

I didn't realise the Lake Garda trip was 'free' either! I would love for ds to be able to do that :sigh:

burntoutdad Tue 26-Feb-13 17:58:48

Fatal - Good to see you are still tuning in. Good luck with your review, not long to go now, hope you can take your 10+ place.
Kylep - Congrats! You do realise there's a little bit of friendly banter/competition between T & W, our DS's will be in enemy camps!
Hott - like your idea re end of year report. Told DS on way home from school that W headmaster would be asking to look at reports, got a shifty look and stony silence on walk home hmm

Kylep Tue 26-Feb-13 18:56:45

Burntoutdad --- bring it on ;-)

kimalima Tue 26-Feb-13 19:00:59

Ooh online rivalry... Chant T, T, T, T grin

Somelikeithott Tue 26-Feb-13 19:50:33

Oooooh!! Are we going to need a referee? I'm very good at it, honest! I have 3 DC

Somelikeithott Tue 26-Feb-13 19:52:13

Burntout, tell your DS, it's not your fault, he shouldn't get upset. You are only the messenger bearing the news!

JohnnyT Wed 27-Feb-13 00:03:12

Just sent in the W acceptance letter for DS1 at 11+ (along with the hope of taking any family vacations overseas again). I mentioned we'll be back in touch soon for DS2 at 10+. I thought we had some time to settle in to the W routine that realised the fire drill starts back up again yesterday soon for DS2 if he takes the 10+ next January. Does W give any discounts for sending kids in bulk?

Does W give any discounts for sending kids in bulk?

Sadly not.

I heard a rumour that there was once a sibling discount for the third child in a Foundation school but I don't think this is true.

Goldfish678mum Wed 27-Feb-13 07:40:16

Hi all
After lengthly discussions we have decided that we will have to decline the offer from T. It really was a hard decision to make , but the problem is we have an excellent state school just around the corner from us which gets just as good results and has fantastic facilities AND most importantly it's FREE!! We are in a similar position to GETASHLEY in that we have a lot of equity in our home so didn't get the bursary that we needed. We also are self employed and feel that in the current economic climate, the fees may stretch us too much in the future. We also don't want to change the way we live and give up holidays etc just to send DS to school. We have a DD to think about too!!! I don't regret going through the process though. We are so very proud of our DS for getting this far and know that he will thrive wherever he goes. Good luck to all of u here. Feel like I know all of you already! I'm off to book my holiday xxx

Croydonmumtods Wed 27-Feb-13 09:13:25

goldfish that's a shame but you are soo lucky to have a good state school near you. We are not so fortunate so have no option really. Best of luck to your ds in his new school - I'm sure he'll do brilliantly.

burntoutdad Wed 27-Feb-13 10:09:51

Goldfish678mum - Good luck to you and your DS. it sounds as though you have made a very sensible and well thought out decision. If you are lucky enough to have that state facility nearby then it must make the choice that little bit easier on the mind.

kimalima Wed 27-Feb-13 12:28:37

Goodluck Goldfish. It must be great to have such a good State school on your doorstep. Unfortunately not the case for me.

Everyone else who are still waiting for Grammar on Friday - Good Luck to you all, fingers crossed!

burntoutdad Wed 27-Feb-13 13:25:30

Our local state isn't a bad school, in fact most parents ive spoken to are very happy with it. The top set seem to do very well and mid/lower sets are pushed along to improve overall. Our concern looking at results is if approx. 60% are achieving good grades what are the other 40% doing? are the classes disrupted? Is there an increased chance of bullying/fighting etc? Clichéd state problems I know but our DS is very quiet and these are issues that we feel would affect him. His current school is very highly regarded but we can see these issues already, can only think they would be intensified as children go to secondary. Does this mean also applying these figures that 40% of the class of 32 is messing about? Again we feel the larger classes would not suit him, we think he would be happy to remain quiet in the background.
The form tutor set up (someone he can get to know and trust) and smaller class sizes at W coupled with the sport opportunities, we think would benefit him immensely.
Don't get me wrong as I think DS2 would not have the same issues and would be fine if he went there (although he's already said 'nothing less than W!') but did have worries with DS1.
And before anyone asks - I went to a very rough state school so not being 'snobbish' in any way!

suz742 Wed 27-Feb-13 18:28:51

Bod- I understand where you are coming from. My 3 older children went to state schools, 1 post grad, 1 under grad and another applying for medicine. I chose good Catholic schools and they thrived. However, my 4th child is very different and I've known for ages he needed something different, which hopefully T will provide. Private school does not sit easy with my social conscience and is unknown territory for me. I am especially careful at the moment not to offend family or friends with my choice, even his siblings. I hope I have made the right decision with no.4, only time will tell

burntoutdad Wed 27-Feb-13 18:57:20

suz742 - I don't think ive heard from anyone who chose one of these schools say that 'they made a wrong decision' so I wouldn't worry too much about that. Besides it would you seem that you have a very good track record of making the right decisions anyway. We have a babysitter (baby?!?) who is studying medicine, I could not believe the costs she told me for going through uni these days it is absolutely astounding.
We haven't yet had a bad response to our decision for DS everyone has been supportive but im sure there will be some snide comments coming our way. I don't understand that mentality but to each their own.

suz742 Wed 27-Feb-13 19:18:20

I think I am quite conscious that my older DS went to the Catholic state school my younger DS would have gone to, my nephews are there and half my DS's current class will go there. I don't want to give the impression that it isn't good enough for him. Maybe I'm over sensitive as everyone has been lovely about it. It's the Catholic guilt I'm sure.
Yes, Medicine is more totally unknown territory and daunting for me let alone her. Education is endless and hugely expensive all round, Uni debts will be ridiculous in years to come. No one will ever afford to retire at this rate!

Asterisk Wed 27-Feb-13 22:38:29

Yes, we'll probably all be on that 'getting into Uni' board together in a few year's time! As someone who teaches at a university, I have to tell y'all that these fab schools that we're sending our kids to, don't do the best job in preparing children to cope with higher education. They do a fantastic job of preparing them to get into university, but I see a lot of first-years struggle. Mainly, they don't know where to start when they are given a topic without a comprehensive brief and mark scheme. Also, the sciency ones that drop humanities after GCSE seem to forget how to write an essay. The medical students, used to being top dog at their schools, find it very difficult to cope with being surrounded by so many other wannabe top dogs. Just saying...

Croydonmumtods Wed 27-Feb-13 23:20:04

asterisk interesting point. My nephew is in second year med (not in uk) and is horrified at the number of students who struggle to cope with the basics. These are mainly kids who have had tutors to pass all their exams and cant cope on their own. My nephew went to independent school but never had a tutor. I'm delighted ds will be going to a good school that will maximise his chances of being able to achieve what he wants to achieve but I would never want to push him above and beyond his capabilities.y

Croydonmumtods Wed 27-Feb-13 23:26:51

suz very familiar with the old catholic guilt thing! You are doing what you think is right for your ds just as you did what you thought was right for your other dc. Clearly it has been very successful so trust your own instinct and try and forget what everyone else thinks or says. I remember being lectured by local priest when horror of horrors we decided to go to a Protestant school but here I am many years later none the worse for the experience. The priest on the other hand ran off with one of the choir!

LoveandHope Thu 28-Feb-13 06:44:04

Hi All, may I ask if anyone here is considering / applying, or has accepted, a Boarding offer from W ?

Would like to understand more about whether Boarding at W is an appealing / pursued option.

Thank you.

suz742 Thu 28-Feb-13 07:06:32

Asterisk - interesting thoughts on Med students suddenly not being top dog anymore. I wonder whether my DS will feel the same at T. He sits comfortably on top table in his class and moans that the work is just too easy. I think he might have a shock coming with much harder work and his peers being of a similar level or much brighter than him. Will be interesting to see what happens.

Croydonmumtods- that priest story made me smile. At my High School we had a jolly priest who used to run after the boys in our yr 7 class and rub faces with them. We all thought it so funny at the time as he clambered over desks, looking back it just fills me with horror now!

Zato Thu 28-Feb-13 07:55:23

Hi all,

D day is nearly upon us and we have switched views again. Spent a few hours at whitgift and trinity yesterday and we have now decided on Trinity. My old school smile won't go into detail of yesterday but I believe Trinity will suit DS more than W. once we have all decided we should have a mass meet up as its always nice to know a few parents before school starts. Our DS is only boy in school going to T.

AspiringMissMarple Thu 28-Feb-13 09:09:11

I am really excited at the prospect that our DSs will be in the same cohort at T. Who knows, could be like ColdPlay meeting at UCL (I studied there but didn't hang out with them sadly). Are there any more rock & roll types starting at T 10+?!

May I say, this thread has been very W friendly, I wondered if Burnoutdad was perhaps a secret PR agent?! My DS made up his mind and is thrilled, I started doubting mainly due to my on/off addiction to this thread and also Mr Beck is a really nice guy.

Knowing that the admission teams have been reading this thread put me off contributing. We were impressed by both schools. I don't really want them to guess who we are!

AspiringMissMarple Thu 28-Feb-13 09:10:36

Love the idea of a meet up before September!

Seeline Thu 28-Feb-13 09:15:31

suz - you are probably right that your DS may find hte change at T a bit of a shock. My Ds certainly has. He was at the top of his primary class, coasting along, not really having to work at all in what was a fairly relaxed set up. we had lots of chats with im to prepare him for the fact the he may not be classed as one of the 'clever' ones at T, and the as long as he did his best we would be happy. So far he seems to be better than some in some subjects but not as good in others, but seems to be coping. T are very good at supporting, encouraging and helping hte boys set realistic targets each term. The real shock has been homework, which we had very little of at primary. A couple of subjects each night, which can take a while (supposed to be about 30 mins each, but you know boys...grin ) Sometimes after school activities can go until 5.30, so by the time he's home and eaten it can be quite late. I am sure your DS will love it. I know what you mean about not wishing to offend friends etc. I still see all DSs old class mates as DD is still at the primary and I do feel awkward about it sometimes - it's not the usual course of education at our school.

Neither of my DSs seem to have struggled with going from being the brightest in the school to, in DS1's case, just above average.

With a cohort of capable boys as there is less of a gap between top and bottom so maybe any differences are less obvious. It's still a bit of a shock if they've not had anyone near their ability before though. I think they enjoy being with a group of friends who are at a similar level to them TBH.

Croydonmumtods Thu 28-Feb-13 12:14:41

Have to admit I'm only pro W because that's where ds really wants to go and I'm desperately trying to convince myself that the massive fees will be worth it in the end! I really liked T and would be very happy to send ds there but he does not want to go. Very grateful to burntoutdad for his support of W (even if he is a secret agent) as he has helped keep me focused on W when I waiver. Despite positive comments re W interesting that most people are choosing T. So looks like me burntoutdad and rugrat with dtwins (very easy to figure that one out when we meet) will be holding the W flag. Are we all 10+?

burntoutdad Thu 28-Feb-13 12:49:29

Missmarple - no not a PR agent. I just dont know about T at all and really just expressing my own personal feelings toward W. If i was, im not doing a very good job as most seem to have opted for T. Obviously some prefer T but W 'had me at hello!' smile
Croydonmum - yes 10+ so only 4 boys here so far.

I loved W with all my heart (Purple capes! Peacocks!) but my head knew T was the right school for DSs (particularly DS2 and I wanted both in the same place).

I am not disappointed, just as I am certain I would not have been disappointed had I chosen W instead.

nothingyummymum Thu 28-Feb-13 14:26:41

The purple capes and peacocks bowled me over too! Yes, call me shallow... DS did not apply to T as distance and travel would be harder, although I have only ever heard glowing reports about it. We accepted the W offer as soon as that letter came through the door - and before they could realise their mistake. The fees will be a huge stretch, but I'm convinced it's the right decision. DS is not sporty and I'm getting quite a few surprised comments on our choice. He loves to take part, though, and I'm sure he'll find his spot in the badminton Z team.. at least he will have options, whereas in some other schools he'd probably just sit out. Not being one of the brightest in his class will be the best thing that could happen to DS - although he could well be at the bottom of they year group if his current lack of enthusiasm for SATS is anything to go by..

Somelikeithott Thu 28-Feb-13 19:16:38

Joining the 10 + W cohort. Really excited for DS. A new chapter in his life opening. Now we can plan and focus more on the future.

burntoutdad Thu 28-Feb-13 21:47:36

Great Hott - that makes it 5 for 10+ at W!
Think we might be biggest group now.
still want to 'bring it on' Kylep.....wink

racegirl87 Thu 28-Feb-13 23:00:29

My ds is a 10+ T (FB) and we only applied there!! Hadn't heard about Whitgift til we looked up bursary info and it popped up.
Got my ds to post acceptance yesterday and told him its the last chance to change his mind. He ran at the postbox and almost disappeared with it he was so keen to put the letter through! Only had one child give him a negative response but it seems like a bit of the green eyed monster and sadness at losing his friend. We'll sort it out and ds is taking it all in his stride. Discovered Trinity news last night on YouTube - going to show ds so he can get even more (if that's possible) excited about going. Do most people on here have children at state schools?

LoveandHope Fri 01-Mar-13 06:07:52

Hi ALL, please bear with me for (keep on) asking Boarding -related questions, though I understand that most of you here are for Day school only.

As we are from overseas and W's boarding is new, may I seek your very kind views / suggestions on the following -

1) Do you think W's management has the capability to handle Boarding students ( day and weekend schedules, pastoral care etc)right in the first year ?

2) Has anyone of you heard anything about the boarding offer / acceptance status ?

3) What is the reputation of W with regards to its intended Boarding facilites ?

Many thanks.

TCofB Fri 01-Mar-13 07:00:59

OK lurker outed...
we are W 10+ (SpS) so that makes 6...
thanks to all you posters by the way, this thread has been captivating and supportive.

Loveandhope I think the problem is that no one knows about the boarding for sure yet. In all honesty, I can not for one moment imagine that W will not do a superb job of it. They have a fantastic reputation as a day school and I really can't see them making a mess of the boarding facility.

In the past, have they had a very small number of overseas boarders already? I have a vague memory of hearing something like this but I may not be right.

I would have no qualms about letting my DSs board there - although I am only 5 minutes away (and, obviously, they go to Trinity!)

AspiringMissMarple Fri 01-Mar-13 07:19:14

BurnoutDad - W should pay you for your amazing contribution to this thread!!! You have demonstrated a great display of resilience and fantastic sense of humour. We should have Mumsnet Awards!!

LoveAndHope - Didn't you say previously that someone poached from Harrow is handling boarders? The architecture looks impressive from the outside and the facilities were mentioned during our W interview. We have opted for T though so can't help.

AspiringMissMarple Fri 01-Mar-13 07:20:34

RaceGirl87 -
Is that the video you mean?
I am soooooo excited!!

basildonbond Fri 01-Mar-13 08:42:34

Re boarding at W - the boarding house master was at Harrow and is very impressive

Even though the school has a 'boyish' reputation, the pastoral care at the school is excellent - it has a very high teacher:pupil ratio so that the teachers get to know the boys extremely well. It also has a large, well-funded learning support department so that any undiagnosed difficulties can be supported. If we had the money (it's not cheap) and didn't live a few minutes train ride away, ds would be boarding as soon as the boarding house opens its doors ...

Not..soup is right in that they have always had a small number of overseas boarders so they're not complete beginners - W are throwing money at this project and will not let it fail.

racegirl87 Fri 01-Mar-13 08:52:46

AspiringMM that's one of them. If you go to the pupils page and look at trinity news, the last two are on there. Some great footage. Trying to limit myself to 20 mins a day reading the vast amount of information they have on the website as a I keep getting distracted!!
This summer is really going to drag!!

Kylep Fri 01-Mar-13 09:27:44

Burnt-- we will battle in sept , Racegirl my ds is from private sector and we know 4 others from his school going to T, 2 have opted for w so that makes it 8 burnt

Croydonmumtods Fri 01-Mar-13 09:34:34

Just dropped acceptance letter to W. peacocks were shrieking boys all on their way in to school all well behaved. Not a moments doubt or hesitation - we have made the right choice.
loveandhope like everyone has says I have little doubt that the boarding side of W will be very well run and really don't think you need to worry on that score. I would happily send my son to board there but like the others live within walking distance.
TCofB welcome to the W 10+ group. Don't know how you've resisted adding to this thread until now.

Croydonmumtods Fri 01-Mar-13 09:38:35

kylep possible some of the boys mentioned already have parents posting on this thread!!! I'm sure you send previously you were from state school???

Croydonmumtods Fri 01-Mar-13 09:39:22

Sorry I meant said not send

iluvmyboys Fri 01-Mar-13 09:46:43

Hi all.

I had started a new thread on my concern over Whitgift, but Fatalflower pointed me to this one, to get more answers.

Has anyone had this concern on W that has left theirs sons quite dejected at not being recognised as one of their top sportsmen/ academic? Is too much importance given only to the top tier? How do rest of the boys fare - do they get a good deal out of W?

DH thinks that KGS is more suited to DS, as it is a small setting and feels there will more attention going to DS. Also DS is not a huge rugby fan - he plays but is in the lower sets. I want him to feel encouraged in sports too with cricket/ hockey and various others too.

DS I think has his heart set on W, and to some extent me too, but I want it to be the right choice for him. I know you all have done a lot of research and many have personal experience too. Any help much appreciated.

Thanks !

Croydonmumtods Fri 01-Mar-13 10:06:00

iluvmyboys welcome to the thread. I know quite a lot of boys already at W all of varying abilities and no one has a bad word to say about the place. All the boys are encouraged to do the best they can in everything be it sport drama academics etc. at 10/11 very difficult to know how the boys will develop and mature particularly in sport. So a boy who's outstanding now in sport may not be in a few years time. The teachers are looking for potential in every single team and not just at the top tier. I know boys who have started on the D team to end up on the A's. The same seems to apply academically as well. I think the only boys who may struggle are boys who simply don't want to bother and even at that the school will do all they can to change their attitude and not just give up on them. I would have to say the exact same applies to T as well.

FatalFlowerGarden Fri 01-Mar-13 12:25:08

iluv - at interview I made some remark about ds being an enthusiastic participant in sports rather than an A-team captain. The response was 'you never know, he could end up with a passion for fencing!' (to which I must admit I thought, yessss, you wouldn't think that if you'd seen him have a go on the Open Day grin)

But the point is, there is so much opportunity there for them to discover a talent they never knew they had, be it in rugby, pingpong, golf, debating or acting! There are almost a thousand boys in the school, they can't all be captain of the First XI...

W does like to celebrate its sportsmen. But there's a lot more to the school than that, IMO. I don't think it's something to worry about.

burntoutdad Fri 01-Mar-13 12:40:38

Missmarple I thank you for your compliments. I was a bit worried that I come across as a sad loner posting so much, but this thread has really been a most welcome distraction from the anxiety of waiting and with help making such a huge decision. DW still does not know that I have been posting, she doesn't look herself and I just tell her anything on here that I think she would be interested in.
croydonmum - Sounds like we are now representing over 10% of the cohort here, and we may never know if we ever meet any of these parents - except you of course rugref. The funny thing is, you will get some parents looking at you thinking 'ah, so that's rugratref' and you will know why they are looking, so you will be able to guess who the Mumsnetters are!
But...Now ive said that, they will look away shiftily when they see you - so you can still guess grin

iluvmyboys Fri 01-Mar-13 12:47:54

Thanks Croydonmums and Fatalflower, but one last qn. If you were to compare it to KingstonGrammar, what are the most obvious positive/negatives?
I'm thinking many of you wouldn't have considered KGS at all, location wise.

therugratref Fri 01-Mar-13 12:48:42

Maybe we should have a Mumsnet Whitgift 10+ meet-up BOD that way I wont be wondering wink
Welcome to the ones coming out of the woodwork.

iluvmyboys Fri 01-Mar-13 12:49:49

Dont know why - I'm feeling the same anxiety as when I was dropping him off at first day of reception ! Will he get lost, will he be happy .. thinking and hoping we have made the right choice.

burntoutdad Fri 01-Mar-13 13:01:38

Iluv - as others have said, I really wouldn't worry about the sporting side. I think the attraction is there for those that are sporty, the coaching is there for those that show an ability to excel, and the support is there for all those that want to take up sport as a hobby or try new things, or to keep fit.
I don't believe it is imposed on the boys, just as music or drama isn't and there is sooo much more for them to do and be involved with.
I think that the impression of the school is one of overall 'sportiness' but if I had just built a £10m sports complex I would want to use it to advertise the school. I can remember being just as impressed with the science labs, D&T dept (my fav subject!), drama facilities etc. Its just that the sports complex leaves the biggest impression.
Anyway you never know you could find yourself wondering 'how did it come to this?' when you're standing at the side of a pitch in winter watching DS doing things you never knew he could, every sat/sun wet, cold and shivering! smile

Somelikeithott Fri 01-Mar-13 13:36:09

Iluv, I totally understand what you mean about 1st day anxieties, and also anxiety about making the right decision. The last week has been more stressful for us in terms of making a decision about school choices, I think I can safely say even more than awaiting the results. Which should he go to, should he stay in current school till 11+? But now that we have decided, I am relieved and excited. DS in his mind had moved on already. He was wavering before we got the results, between T, W and stay in current school. But from moment he got the results, in spirit he is now a whitgift boy, and he has stood his ground ever since, giving us more reasons literarily everyday why that is the school for him. ( spends his spare time visiting the W, website). We acknowledge he has done the hard-work and taken this into consideration when deciding.

There are a few other boys from his current school going to T & W, in both 10+, & 11+ cohort. There seems to be a lot more that have chosen W over T, but obviously opposite is the case on this thread.

All in all as we have said in the past, it is a blessing to have these opportunities.

Sorry Iluv, don't know much about KGS, but I know a few boys in W, who are neither overtly sporty or top in academics, but are very happy in the school and some left to excellent universities and didn't struggle either. I think everyone finds something they are good at, somehow, and fly with it. All the best with decision making, I'm soooo glad we have now. Sent T's thanks, but no thanks form back as well. Good school, shame he can't alternate weeks between both schools!!! ( now that is an idea).

Croydonmumtods Fri 01-Mar-13 13:45:46

burnt you have perfectly described my weekends - oh the joy of having a sporty ds. iluv my advise - try and encourage your ds toward indoor sports and activities!! Sorry I have no knowledge at all of KGS.

Kylep Fri 01-Mar-13 13:50:11

So I will spill the beans my ds currently at elmhurst !!!!! Any elmhurst mummy's on here

Somelikeithott Fri 01-Mar-13 13:53:20

Croydonmum, that describes our weekends now, and don't see it improving for a verrrry long time. Especially since other DC coming of age and starting to show interest as well

iluvmyboys Fri 01-Mar-13 13:54:09

Thanks all. Really appreciate it. Somehow I never trust my own judgements, but having read this amazing thread, I think I trust you all. Will keep you posted.

JohnnyT Fri 01-Mar-13 13:55:12

To add what people have said about sportiness at W, my DS1 isn't a typically sporty boy in terms of mainstream sports (football, rugby, etc.) Yet I think the move to W from a prep school now is the right move. He's great at less mainstream sports -- tennis, skiing, swimming, cross-country, etc. What I really like at W (though probably true of other schools too) is the potential variety of sports for DS's like mine that will always come off worse in collision sports. Being under 5 stone and built like a twig isn't fun when you're playing with 10+ stone 11 year olds! No matter how much rugby padding my DW buys DS1. Having said all that he's probably best at art & DT (anything spatial/visual) but I do believe in importance of sports and academics for everyone. We all cannot wait until he starts in September and he's mentally completely thinking of himself as a Whitgiftian. Hope to meet many on the thread this coming school year!

Croydonmumtods Fri 01-Mar-13 14:01:25

Kylep Ds has lots of friends at elmhurst but dosnt go there. And only a few of those he knows have done 10+. I think I know the 2 going to W and yes I think they are additions to our numbers so starting to even up a bit!
hott I've heard of a lot more choosing T over W so interesting to read your comments.

you could find yourself wondering 'how did it come to this?' when you're standing at the side of a pitch in winter watching DS doing things you never knew he could, every sat/sun wet, cold and shivering

Ah yes... I look back fondly at the memory 8 yo DS2 who sat in a huddle of misery near the rugby pitches at Warlingham every week, refusing to play. He's playing in the B team for T this weekend and throws himself into it with full enthusiasm smile

suz742 Fri 01-Mar-13 14:32:17

Got my confirmation of acceptance letter from T, yippee and email from W asking where he was going...and got his first name wrong! Made me smile as I corrected them.

We are 10+ T cohort from state Catholic S.Croydon school btw as if I haven't given away more than enough on here!

kimalima Fri 01-Mar-13 14:51:29

We definitely need a round-up of where everyone is going. Going to miss you guys - this thread has been very interesting.

So how about I start and, in turn, we copy the list and paste into a new comment our own details? I have included the ones I can remember to get us going.

Kimalima T 11+
Burntoutdad W 10+
Suz742 T 10+
Rugratref W 10+

JohnnyT Fri 01-Mar-13 15:06:55

Adding mine:

Kimalima T 11+
Burntoutdad W 10+
Suz742 T 10+
Rugratref W 10+
JohnnyT W 11+

cheammum Fri 01-Mar-13 16:16:08

Just added mine to list:

Kimalima T 11+
Burntoutdad W 10+
Suz742 T 10+
Rugratref W 10+
JohnnyT W 11+
Cheammum W 11+

burntoutdad Fri 01-Mar-13 16:16:31

Some you missed:

Kimalima T 11+
Burntoutdad W 10+
Suz742 T 10+
Rugratref W 10+ (x2!)
JohnnyT W 11+
Croydonmumtods W 10+
MissMarple T 10+
Somelikeithott W 10+
racegirl87 T 10+
TCofB W 10+
PopcornPizza T ?+
EyesWideClosed T 10+
Cheammum W 11+
Hecticmumof4 W ?+
nothingyummymum W ?+

Im sure to have missed some , some i think are still waiting to hear good news (Fatal?).

FatalFlowerGarden Fri 01-Mar-13 16:32:23

Yep, I hear you burntoutdad grin.

We are still here, hanging on for bursary-related news so keep everything crossed for us. Ds is desperate to join the 10+ cohort at W and I really feel another year at his primary wouldn't be doing him any favours.... but in the end it all boils down to the money!

nothingyummymum Fri 01-Mar-13 16:37:40

Kimalima T 11+
Burntoutdad W 10+
Suz742 T 10+
Rugratref W 10+ (x2!)
JohnnyT W 11+
Croydonmumtods W 10+
MissMarple T 10+
Somelikeithott W 10+
racegirl87 T 10+
TCofB W 10+
PopcornPizza T ?+
EyesWideClosed T 10+
Cheammum W 11+
Hecticmumof4 W ?+
nothingyummymum W 11+

Am deeply relieved that our decision is made, but I do feel the pain of parents and DC awaiting news of state places - good luck to everyone!

LoveandHope Fri 01-Mar-13 16:45:10

Thanks all for your W boarding info / comment.

Much appreciate it.

burntoutdad Fri 01-Mar-13 17:19:28

We're rooting for you Fatal!
That's a turnaround in numbers, 6 x T vs 10 x W. Thought the T's had it but W nudges forward as the clock ticks down.
C'mon you lurkers out there final push over the line, get your stats in! Come Monday we are rivals, on the sports fields and off smile (not that im competitive in anyway hmm).

Somelikeithott Fri 01-Mar-13 17:51:35

Lol burntout, you are really spoiling for it...
Fatal, I'm rooting for your DS as well, common foundation, gives us the news we want.

DS said to me the afternoon, I'm officially a Whitgift boy now. Lol!!

Zato Fri 01-Mar-13 18:14:32

Can't add the list on my phone

Zato. T 11+

We only have an acceptance reply letter from Whitgift. Do I need to send a no reply ? Would like to so they know where they stand.

therugratref Fri 01-Mar-13 18:24:41

Starting to feel a bit freaked that you lot are going to know me instantly and I wont have a clue who is burnt out or likes it hot.

kimalima Fri 01-Mar-13 18:48:43

Will do it for you Zato. To bring up the T numbers...

Kimalima T 11+
Burntoutdad W 10+
Suz742 T 10+
Rugratref W 10+ (x2!)
JohnnyT W 11+
Croydonmumtods W 10+
MissMarple T 10+
Somelikeithott W 10+
racegirl87 T 10+
TCofB W 10+
PopcornPizza T ?+
EyesWideClosed T 10+
Cheammum W 11+
Hecticmumof4 W ?+
nothingyummymum W 11+
Zato T 11+

Pompoms at the ready... Give me a T... Give me an I... grin

Somelikeithott Fri 01-Mar-13 18:53:40

Lol! Rugrat! Don't worry, if there is only one set of twins, I will introduce myself to you ( if you don't mind). If there are more than one then you are safe!!!

Zato, I think just sending W an email should suffice. I did notice there were no, no thanks response letters in the pack.

Somelikeithott Fri 01-Mar-13 18:55:43

I like how the rivalry has begun already on this thread. Can we write rugratref twice? Lol

burntoutdad Fri 01-Mar-13 20:27:47

rugrat -LOL! that did make me chuckle. Maybe we look like our user names wink.
hott - I've already counted rugrat x2, need the numbers to mount our campaign against Kylep & co!
Talking of which:

Kimalima T 11+
Burntoutdad W 10+
Suz742 T 10+
Rugratref W 10+ (x2!)
JohnnyT W 11+
Croydonmumtods W 10+
MissMarple T 10+
Somelikeithott W 10+
racegirl87 T 10+
TCofB W 10+
PopcornPizza T ?+
EyesWideClosed T 10+
Cheammum W 11+
Hecticmumof4 W ?+
nothingyummymum W 11+
Zato T 11+
Kylep T 10+

8 to 10 now!

Somelikeithott Fri 01-Mar-13 23:37:23

Fatal, my earlier post was meant to read 'come on foundation' eeeek!!!! Someone just pointed this out

kimalima Fri 01-Mar-13 23:49:18

Had a few wines tonight. Could always name change a few times to add a few to the T tally.... Watch out W grin

suz742 Sat 02-Mar-13 17:37:00

Just been browsing the T website and on parents pages, letters sent home, there are details of next year's trips. Dates of Norfolk trip in Sept there. My DS wants to go on football and Disney trip....might need to lower his expectations a bit me thinks!

DivaMum23 Sat 02-Mar-13 18:06:41

Hello everyone, I hope you can help with this question the boys on the waiting list for W & T when are they likely to know if they have secure a place.

Congratulations to all You DS;s for making you all very proud

EyesWideClosed Sat 02-Mar-13 18:14:19

suz742 Just had a look. What a mine of information! I can't find the future dates bit though. What are the dates for the Norfolk trip and how long is it?

suz742 Sat 02-Mar-13 18:38:32

If you go on parents part of site, right hand corner.The letters sent home link on left, on 26th Feb letter outlining overseas and residential trips. 25-27th Sept are the dates.
There is so much info on parents pages, great for preparing and for parents of boys who leave crumpled bits of paper to rot in school bags!

Somelikeithott Sat 02-Mar-13 18:52:17

Hi Divamum, welcome to the thread. I imagine it will be at least Wednesday before boys on the waiting list know. Because the schools over offer places, and the deadline for acceptance is Tuesday, that will be the earliest day they can reconcile numbers. And even then it would depend how far down on the waiting list. They will offer places, if they go to waiting list in order of the list and will need those people to accept or reject the places before they move down ( or not), the list.

All the best with the wait. Hope you get the news you want.

DivaMum23 Sat 02-Mar-13 19:07:15

Somelikeithott, thanks for your very informative reply, I should have said
my son is already at Whitgift this is for a friend who's son is on the waiting list, she is so upset.

Thanks again

burntoutdad Sat 02-Mar-13 19:37:04

suz742 - your post has made me realise something I had not thought of before...the term dates! The summer and easter term breaks are longer, 3 weeks longer in summer, 1 week in easter which equates to at least 4 extra weeks of childcare to consider for those working when factoring costs!
Just thought I would highlight that to anyone else who hadn't realised.
Divamum - when I called the school last week they asked me if DS was on the waiting list, which led me to believe that they have perhaps already started considering them. The scholarship offers have been a lot lower this year so im guessing there are a lot more rejections coming through considering the economic climate.

DivaMum23 Sat 02-Mar-13 20:18:40

burntoutdad- Thank you that is very encouraging

EyesWideClosed Sat 02-Mar-13 21:18:10

Thanks Suz742 I can see those parents' pages being invaluable. Letters never seem to make it past the school gates at the moment, and I can't see things changing in 6 months time.

Somelikeithott Sun 03-Mar-13 07:49:01

Divamum, burntout's post is encouraging. All the best to your friend's DS

Those of you with disorganised and unreliable boys heading to T will be delighted to know they email you letters too. smile

Kylep Sun 03-Mar-13 11:02:10

Suz-- great info thanks

Asterisk Sun 03-Mar-13 14:30:21

Any existing T parents taking part in the Quiz Night next weekend? Perhaps we could suggest a round on guessing the identity of mumsnetters (or mumsnutters as sometimes known in our family)...

Ladymuck Sun 03-Mar-13 20:46:50

I went to the W one for new parents last year, and our team won. Despite the fact that half of us didn't have a child at the school....

And I was at T yesterday looking at a rugby match in the distance, but couldn't see any soupdragons.

There was a soupdragon at the rugby but I left before the match smileSmallDragon2 was there though.

I'm not doing the quiz - I was meant to be going but I think I've got out of it!

burntoutdad Sun 03-Mar-13 22:25:25

We have been wondering what the stats were for this year for those interviewed and then offered. I realise not evryone had a scholarship offer but has anyone heard of a ds not getting an offer following interview? It almost seems that all interviewed are offered or waitlisted.

basildonbond Sun 03-Mar-13 22:41:36

I know of several boys who have not got a place following interview (and in some cases sports assessment as well) - for this year, and the last two years

burntoutdad Mon 04-Mar-13 06:46:50

Thats surprising bond. Was that at T, W or both? Well i say thats surprising but i remember now that some boys were tested and recalled before the interview (including us). So perhaps it was some of those who were didnt get a recall that were not offered after interview?

I know of boys from previous years who were not offered a place after interview in previous years (10+ and 11+, T&W) - I can't say whether or not they were waitlisted though.

havinganightmare Mon 04-Mar-13 07:39:35

Interview absolutely doesn't guarantee place. I certainly know of several last year who werent offered - after seemingly positive interviews and one sports assessment.

iluvmyboys Mon 04-Mar-13 09:42:01

Posted our W 11+ acceptance form on Sat !

Somelikeithott Mon 04-Mar-13 10:33:14

Excellent, iluv. Just realised deadline is today and not tomorrow as I thought.

FatalFlowerGarden Mon 04-Mar-13 10:57:19

We're still hanging on! Rang W this morning and was told they are sorting through a massive pile of acceptance/rejection letters and emails ... and may even have some news for me this afternoon re our bursary appeal... aaaargh. Must say the admissions office have always been absolutely lovely - they must get so fed up with anxious parents ringing them every 5 mins but they've always been so friendly.

I'm a little over-caffeinated this morning and feeling rather jittery!

T's next second hand uniform sale is on 16th March 8:30 -11:30am

burntoutdad Mon 04-Mar-13 11:10:10

So today is the deadline and I guess this thread will start to wind down.
It would be nice if we could post updates at some point getting to know how the school starts went, how DS fared in first weeks, have we made the right decisions confused etc.
As a final count, assuming no-one else posts today and including iluvwe have
11 at W and 8 at T from this thread.

2 at T 11+ 5 at T 10+ 1 at T ?+
4 at W 11+ 6 at W 10+ 1 at W?+

A reasonably even spread. Well done and good luck to all of our DS's in their new schools, wherever they are going. And perhaps I will meet some of you (even without knowing it (Except rugrat grin)) in the coming months smile.

burntoutdad Mon 04-Mar-13 11:11:54

Sorry Fatal - nearly forgot. Should have done the final count on receipt of your news! Good luck.

If you want to manage the cost of uniform a bit, you can buy some stuff in advance - things like ties, locker (sport) bag, rugby socks which they're unlikely to grow out of. Obviously easy with T as you just go to Hewitts. You can also order the large name tapes you have to sew on all their sports kit.

Shorrolds Mon 04-Mar-13 11:24:10

Another 11+ T to add,just handed in letter ,had taken a while to decide between W &T,but T it is and they have been very helpful in the whole process .I have no doubt that Ds would have been as happy at both , however we are very excited about our final choice ,roll on September...

havinganightmare Mon 04-Mar-13 15:39:02

W second hand uniform sale this sat. Well worth a visit. They change tie after year 7 just so you know so no need to stock up on too many! I think times are on the website. The uniform list is on there as well for you to tick off stuff. Shirts and trousers are great quality and so cheap! Lots of sports kit as well - if only for a spare set. The ladies who run it very helpful for advice too. Cash and cheques only I think.

suz742 Mon 04-Mar-13 15:55:18

Hi, has anyone gone to second hand sale at T before. I want to save some cash where I can, even if it's only for spares. Is it worth a trip? Is it through the main entrance? When do we get uniform list as I won't even know what I'm looking for. Thanks.

suz742 Mon 04-Mar-13 15:57:06

Good luck Fatal, really rooting for you here x

Off the top of my head, Trinity uniform is

Tie (Lower school)
Rugby top
Rugby shorts (blue)
PE top
PE shorts (white silky)
Tracksuit trousers
Tracksuit top
Locker bag (sports bag)
Grey pullover
Royal blue base layer
White rugby shorts for competitions - don't bother unless you are sure your son will be playing in a team for matches.

White shirts
Black trousers
Royal blue "hipster" swim trunks although they are allowed the ones that are cycling short length.

Often you go in to these things through the entrance that looks like the main one but is actually the boys' entrance. IIRC, the sale is in a room off to the left of the main foyer but I imagine it will be obvious!

I've not been to a second hand sale - as I have 2 DSs I buy new for DS1 and then pass them onto DS2.

There will be another sale on the day of the New Boys/parents morning.

Ladymuck Mon 04-Mar-13 16:17:46

I would really recommend getting at least a spare set of sports kit second hand. I've tended to buy one new set and one secondhand set, but tbh I don't know why I bother because after a couple of weeks I can't tell the difference...

suz742 Mon 04-Mar-13 16:37:05

Thanks T mums, you are the best! I like to have lots of spare sports wear in case of quick turnarounds.
Are the boys allowed short sleeved white shirts, my DS hates long ones

EyesWideClosed Mon 04-Mar-13 16:46:28

Thanks for all the tips. Think we're going to head along to the sale. Any more thought on the T uniform will be much appreciated! Soup, what are the special names tags? Do they have to go on the normal uniform as well?

Yes, short sleeved shirts are OK. DS1 likes them in summer. Or when he hasn't done his ironing and they're all that's left in his wardrobe grin

The special name tapes are an inch high and go on the outside of the sports bag, sports tops and tracksuit. And the rugby socks which is a bit of a PITA.

I have managed with just one set of sports kit, but two pairs of rugby socks as there is always at least one sock missing. The sports tops both dry really quickly (Mmmm... manmade fibres!) so short turnarounds haven't been a problem.

I went with 3 jumpers, two ties, 6 shirts*, 4 trousers* and one of everything else.

* depending on size of multipack smile

suz742 Mon 04-Mar-13 17:33:16

Do the boys prefer the grey logo jumper or the plain black one?

DSs have never complained about logoed ones and are happy to wear them. According to DS2 most wear the grey logoed ones. He then looked at me suspiciously and wanted to know why I was asking

Because my imaginary friends want to know, DS2. That's all

EyesWideClosed Mon 04-Mar-13 17:53:44

Does he not know that you are a prolific mumsnutter, Soup? Another Q re. sports kit. How often do juniors bring them home? I'm assuming not the once a term job that he currently has at his primary school (and even then I don't even bother with a wash!)

Kit comes home on the day they've used it. Unless they have managed to lose it. grin

You'd have thought DS2 would have guessed why I wanted to know - he is meant to be bright!

EyesWideClosed Mon 04-Mar-13 18:03:40

Soup How big is the kit bag? Very small ds has bus-train-bus to contend with.

therugratref Mon 04-Mar-13 18:12:20

Kit has been a nightmare for me, DS1 is in year 7 now (At a different school). He plays Rugby at least 4 days a week. I have 2 full kits plus 2 extra pairs of socks, he manages to lose at least 1 piece of kit per week on average, so having the full extra set means we have some leeway until he collects the shorts or jersey or whatever else he has put down from lost property.
He has also left kit on trains and other random places. Last week he lost his phone and house keys and conduct card. I cant begin to imagine the pain I will be going through when DT's start abandoning kit as well.

EyesWideClosed Mon 04-Mar-13 18:24:21

That really fills me with hope.

racegirl87 Mon 04-Mar-13 19:18:08

My ds managed to lose FOUR school jumpers, a pair of boots, numerous gloves, two hats, his reading record and a coat (although I found that in the end) last term.
I'm not holding out much hope for a complete set of anything returning home. It's going to be a challenge!!
Second hand sale sounds like the way forward.

Kylep Mon 04-Mar-13 20:18:12

Sounds familiar !!! I've heard through the grapevine that mostly all that applied to w got in !! Wonder if there is any truth in that

Croydonmumtods Mon 04-Mar-13 20:57:26

Wow you are all getting very organised what with school uniform discussions. I don't know what stats are but I have heard of a lot of people who went for both schools and only got offered T across all age groups and very few scholarship offers at W compared to T but I guess everyone has heard something different. So kylep not quite sure your grapevine is correct but who knows.

Kylep Mon 04-Mar-13 21:09:01

Rumours I guess !! Ive heard A few boys didn't even finish papers apparently but still got offers from W and not from T , maybe due to the new boarding facilities the more full fee payers the better

Somelikeithott Mon 04-Mar-13 21:54:39

I know of 3 boys personally who sat exams and didn't get into either school. And I've heard of a few who didn't. Also know of a few boys who sat both exams and got academic scholarships in T and not W and vice versa.

I feel blessed we got to choose ( with DS), our preferred school, and know we won't regret it. Looking forward to the exciting times ahead.

basildonbond Mon 04-Mar-13 21:58:11

well considering the numbers applying it can't possibly be the case that virtually every child who applied to W got in ...

I know of several boys this year, and last year and the year before, who had interviews (which the parents seemed to think went v well) and didn't get in or even get waitlisted

same for T too ...

EyesWideClosed I've not managed to look at the actual size of the sports bag because, for the first time in known history, DS2 seems to have taken it up to his room shock

They aren't huge but your poor DS will look like an overloaded pack horse when you send him off with sports kit and all the stuff he needs for school. I would estimate that they're 50cm long and 25cm high/wide. Difficult to judge from memory!

Hopefully your DS won't learn a large musical instrument smile

fondofuk Mon 04-Mar-13 22:50:38

Hello. Is there any cut off time, not date for accepting a place for W? I am holding back until last minute (13+) but dont know when is last minute! Was 11+ today?

Zato Mon 04-Mar-13 23:32:25

Evening all,

As mentioned above my DS is T 11+. I know T is holding a fun day in June and new boys start school a day early for a treasure hunt get the know other boys the school etc etc. he is very excited but very nervous as he is the only boy from his current school going to T. I still remember my first day at T and not knowing a soul. I have a couple of ideas !!

Anyone up for a fun cricket/football game in a park so boys can get to know each other before the real fun begins ?

More importantly us parents have been to hell and back during this whole process and i am so pleased its over. This is the first time in my life where i have had no control over an outcome and the waiting destroys you. So with this in mind anyone fancy a Saturday night curry and beer evening ? No idea on location but somewhere near T would make sense. Happy to go to South Croydon then we kidnap a pheasant on the way home (sorry my old Trinity roots are coming out smile smile )

Good luck all and hopefully see many of you before or during term.


burntoutdad Tue 05-Mar-13 08:05:06

fondofuk - Deadline for 12+/13+ is Wed 6th. I believe time is 5pm.
if im not being too nosey can I ask why you are waiting till the very last minute?

burntoutdad Tue 05-Mar-13 08:10:23

Hott - I also know of around 6-7 boys who are at academy level football and sat W but didn't get to interview stage.
Kylep - the VR paper at W is apparently notoriously never completely finished.

Seeline Tue 05-Mar-13 09:36:04

The T second hand sale always has loads of stuff, and is worth a visit if only for spares!
My DS rarely wears the jumper (but prefers the Bhs one I got to the school one anyway) because he is fairly warm-blooded and still hasn't got used to having to wear his blazer all the time!
I manage to get his rugby kit washed and dried over-night when his rugby lesson is the day after training - it dries well draped over the radiator in the hall (so he remembers to re-pack it the next morning!!)
The only thing he has managed to lose so far was his (brand new) glasses. However, the lost property system seems to work very well (if everything is named) and they turned up 3 days later in the lost property office - very impressed as his primary school seem to have mislaid several sets of uniform over the years grin.
Zato I wouldn't worry about your DS being the only one from his school. My DS was too and soon made friends. Don't forget there will be many others in the same position. The school are very aware of this and help ease things along. I don't think the Y7 boys get the activity trip that the JBugs have, but I think they do have an activity morning away from school in their forms to help them get to know each other in a less formal atmosphere. I'm sure Soup or one of the others will be along to correct me if I'm wrong smile

The 11+ intake get to go on a half day watersports activity smile

DS2 was one of only 2 boys from his school who went but the only one in his class. It wasn't a problem at all. He was nervous on the New Boys/Parents morning but when I went along to meet his tutor after the parents part, he'd been with his class for that time and they were all fine with each other. I think the boy he was paired with on the very first day when they do the treasure hunt has ended up being his best friend.

nothingyummymum Tue 05-Mar-13 10:53:15

I know a few parents who would be quite offended at the rumour that "everyone" got into W - in particular the ones whose very bright and talented DC were not offered places or who are desperately awaiting movement on the waiting lists. I think DS too would be quite upset - that means all those hours preparing and the subsequent agony waiting first for the interviews and then the acceptance letter were wasted, as he could just have performed badly and gotten in?

Kylep Tue 05-Mar-13 11:34:16

It's a rumour but true in our school everyone got in to W !! It wasn't meant to offend or take anything away from anyone or most importantly the boys who took exams

nothingyummymum Tue 05-Mar-13 12:22:17

Kylep - my apologies if I'm sensitive about this, but surely we can't say "everyone" got in if that was the case in one top prep school? Congratulations on your school doing so well, though. DS is in a below average state school, but does go to some clubs with prep school boys. Getting into W (he was also offered a place at another excellent indie) has been a massive boost for his self-esteem and a great achievement in our family as he'll be the first to venture into private education, let alone a really hard decision and huge financial commitment on our side. I'd imagine we're not the only ones in this position. It would be very disheartening if any of the boys at his clubs told him "everyone" got in, based on their school's results. It is clearly not true of the overall intake, as W can't possibly be offering over 900 places. And yes, I too know parents of boys in top academic sets playing sports at academy or county level who did not get W offers or are on the waiting list.

FatalFlowerGarden Tue 05-Mar-13 13:12:42

Am absolutely OVERJOYED to be able to announce that ds will be joining the 10+ cohort at Whitgift this September grin grin grin.

The school have shown an enormous amount of faith in and commitment to ds and I am still shaking! Cannot wait to get home and tell him!

Thankyou everyone for your support, am so thrilled that we'll be joining you!

Somelikeithott Tue 05-Mar-13 13:15:30

Well done fatal flower, glad you are joining us. Its been a rather long journey.
Well done and congratulations to your DS

kimalima Tue 05-Mar-13 13:20:00

Fatal that is absolutely brilliant news. I am so very pleased for you and DS. What a very long road it has been for you. But at least it has a really good outcome.

Well done all for all the W and T places gained this year. This thread has sometimes kept me sane, other times made me slightly more anxious but overall has meant my DH and I are still speaking and I have not driven him insane grin.

nothingyummymum Tue 05-Mar-13 13:22:14

Oh Fatal, you have just made my day! Well done to both you and DS for your tenacity and incredible spirit. You both really deserve this. Did I just hear the joyous shriek of peacocks and the raucous flutter of purple capes?

hardboiled Tue 05-Mar-13 13:29:37

Fatal, that's brilliant! I remember all those days waiting for the letter... and then for the bursary...And you never lost hope. You must be over the moon. I hope other parents in your situation next year find this thread and get encouraged by your story.

havinganightmare Tue 05-Mar-13 13:32:04

So so pleased Fatal!! That is just brilliant news. grin

And can I also say that although 3 boys did get in to W from DS school last year they all deserved to. But I know of many others from other schools who didn't sadly for them. They take 60 at 10 plus and another 120 at 11 plus so the theory/rumour that everyone gets in falls down instantly on the maths alone! well over 600 sat the exams so forget that rumour and be very proud of your DC and of course yourselves! T and W are both fab schools and your boys are going to love the ride ahead!

FatalFlowerGarden Tue 05-Mar-13 13:35:38

Thank you everyone - I am indeed very far over the moon! Poor Mr Beck though, I very nearly cried down the phone and was definitely a bit gushy grin

Am so happy, ds deserves this, so proud of him!

burntoutdad Tue 05-Mar-13 13:45:42

Hooraaayyyy - fantastic news Fatal. The fat lady has finally sung, and a song we all wanted to hear!!! smilesmile
Your DS will be sooooo chuffed after all this waiting.

burntoutdad Tue 05-Mar-13 13:50:51

Im now thinking of when you tell him and re-living the moment we told our DS and the look on his face - absolutely priceless!!

Marni23 Tue 05-Mar-13 13:57:24

Fatal, I am soooo pleased for you-that is just fantastic news.

We decided on another school in the end, but it was very difficult to turn down T. It came down to us thinking co-ed would suit our DS better, and location, but we think T is a brilliant school and I'm sure all your boys will have a ball there (and at W). Best of luck to them all.

Somelikeithott Tue 05-Mar-13 14:06:59

Hi again fatal flower, I recorded my DS on my phone as I gave him the offer letters to read ( this is how he found out he got in), i gave him the ones addressed to him when I went to pick him up from school. I then sent the recording to DH'a phone, he was at work, so he could share in the moment (albeit belatedly). Priceless!!!! Whatever you do, it will be a memorable moment for you & your DS. Again, really pleased for you both.

Somelikeithott Tue 05-Mar-13 14:09:21

Marni, well done to your DS. All the best for the future to him in his new school.

Ladymuck Tue 05-Mar-13 14:18:07

Really pleased for you Fatal, and well done to your ds.

cheammum Tue 05-Mar-13 14:18:39 pleased for you.

Although I don't know any of you on this thread it is a nice feeling to rejoice at other's good news and we all know how tough a journey this 10 and 11+ experience has been.

This thread has indeed been so encouraging and supportive for both W and T...trying to ween myself off logging on each day to find out how everyone is...but proving too difficult at the moment....!

Well done again Fatal.

So pleased for you, Fatal smile

Treble Tue 05-Mar-13 14:39:49

I'm a first timer here and have been following your various posts, which have been somewhat encouraging. My DS is on waiting list for W and its like the 15th of Feb all over again. Not too long now... Best wishes to all! Well done Fatal!

therugratref Tue 05-Mar-13 14:42:50

Yay Fatal brilliant news.

nothingyummymum Tue 05-Mar-13 14:43:52

Welcome, Treble. Hoping you get your good news very soon!

Treble Tue 05-Mar-13 15:27:58

Thanks nothingyummymum, That would be fabulous and DS so thrilled! Here's hoping...

Treble Tue 05-Mar-13 15:51:21

Just got the call through offering a W place! Yay!! Full fee paying - no bursary sad(
What to do?!!

hardboiled Tue 05-Mar-13 16:03:59

Do you need the bursary?

Croydonmumtods Tue 05-Mar-13 16:31:23

fatal congratulations and well done. Welcome to the peacock brigade!!
treble great news on the offer - hope you'll be able to take this up.

It's so lovely to see the many positive and encouraging comments on here which has kept me going all these weeks. It is a shame some people feel a need to be negative but possibly this reflects their own insecurities rather then the absolute delight the rest of us feel regarding our ds's outstanding acheivements.
burntoutdad you should be easy to recognise as well as don't expext many others will be coming by donkey.
zato love your idea of meeting but sadly on the other side which made me think why not get this school rivalry thing really moving and have a T against W preseason friendly!

Yes I have been absent for a few days and have thoroughly enjoyed catching up with the news.

burntoutdad Tue 05-Mar-13 17:04:22

Croydonmumtods - LOL!! grin Alas after a recount of our finances and the realisation that childcare, uniform etc. will all be more expensive, I'm afraid that even a donkey and its associated garaging and fuel would be considered an upmarket luxury travel expense for us! We are considering other modes and any ideas will be considered smile.

I don't think anyone has tried to be purposely negative on here but its interesting to hear what some people have thought about the whole process (without actually thinking about the whole process!)

Like the idea re the school rivalry - lets start as we mean to go on and thrash play them in a pre-season friendly wink

Zato - thought you were a mum until the beer & curry proposal (and of course signing off as 'David'!). You might get more of a response if you make it 'wine and nibbles'!

I can do you a good deal on a cocker spaniel - strong enough to pull a fully grown adult female on a scooter up a hill. Allegedly. [ahem]

Treble Tue 05-Mar-13 17:35:43

@hardboiled, yes I did apply for a bursary place
@Croydonmumtods, thank you, I've got a couple of days to decide

Somelikeithott Tue 05-Mar-13 19:13:38

Treble, well done to your DS. Hope you are in a position to take up the offer. I think generally, it's been a difficult year in terms of scholarships and bursaries in both W & T.

CINDER55 Tue 05-Mar-13 21:51:21

Hi all, have been lurking and sharing your high and lows from a distance. I am parent with two DS's at Whitgift, one in Yr11 and one in Yr 8, so can give a sense of perspective on some of the posts. Will also state upfront that we do benefit from bursaries.

1) Is Whitgift a top tier or super selective school, no it is not! For that you would be looking at schools like KCS Wimbledon, Westminster etc. They are super selective, and still offer sports and music and the results show. E.g KCS had 55 offers to Oxford or Cambridge out of a year group of 100. Whitgift had 8 out of a year group of 200, so the difference is clear. However ,Whitgift is a solid school that will give your DS's a good solid base from which to build. For us has it been everything we imagined no, but are are DS'shappy. Yes!

2) The Whitgift foundation schools have one of the most generous Bursary schemes in the UK, it is widely acknowledged as creating a unique and diverse social mix. Not a bad thing, but has and does create issues in the social dynamic of the school.

3) Having spent £10 million on the Sports Centre are they keen to promote sporting excellence? Yes they are! But there is a feeling amongst existing Whitgift parents that this is to the detriment of bright boys at the admissions process. When DS2 was sitting 11+, a clever boy inis year group at his state primarywas offered scholarships at five other schools but not at Whitgift. A not so bright boy from the same state primary but a great cricketer was offered a 30 % scholarship with a full fee remission with a bursary. There is a feeling amongst parents that this pattern is worrying and had been mentioned to the school, as Whitgift have lost a lot of bright boys because of this as they choose to go elsewhere.

Part of the issue is that the school is so (too) big. Naturally they are focused on the top 10 %in each year who are scholars whether they are in Music, Drama, Sport or Academic. It does leave a big underbelly of boys in that middle ground who can get a bit lost in the system, and I would question if I was full fee paying as to whether there was value for money. Part of the issue is class size. Burntoutdad comment re great staff ratio is simply wrong. Whitgift have class size of 25, against Trinity with 22 and the super selectives have 20. Places like St Paul's and KCS teach in classes of 8 for the first three years in Maths, English and French etc.

In terms of offers and places offered, this year the rumour going round parents already at the school is that all passed that want a place have been offered a place, some went on the reserve list but have know been offered. If you can pay full fees there are still places available. Part of the issue is that the scholarship pool has been cut drastically so they have had a lot of rejections from parents expecting scholarships. They were expecting this so over offered massively. We have heard through the HM of Ds2 old prep school that lots did not get Trinity but did get into Whitgift, or offered Scholarships at other schools but not at Whitgift. It is also an open secret there that if your DS has not got a place elsewhere and did not try initially for Whitgift then a full fee place can be secured there today.

A big shock for me and perhaps why I'm writing this post is what I have just found out regarding GCSE entries, if they feel that your DS is not up the mark in a subject and will damage their rankings, they will ask him to sit the exams at Croydon College, so you pay the fees but are not sitting public exams under The Whitgift umbrella. Trinity does not do this, don't know about the others. There is also a big cull before entry to he sixth form. If you want proof of this ask them the question how many sat GCSE in English and Maths under the Whitgift name' you will find the answer will be 160-170, weal know that there is 200in each year group, so ask them what happened to the rest, as everyone sits English and Maths.......

Ok so this is not a rant, nor am I doing the school down, I have two DS's that are doing well there and have benefited from what Whitgift offer, but you need to be aware and manage your way through the school.and see past the Peacocks and Purple Capes. Top tier - no, a good solid school - yes.Enjoy and rejoice that your DS's have got in but go in with your eyes open!!!

nothingyummymum Tue 05-Mar-13 22:30:47

Phew - read Cinder55's post just as I was about to post how sorry I am about being negative earlier! Am slightly at a loss for words now, except to say what I had actually meant to convey was an honest (too honest?) confession of how much a place at W means to DS. We are of the full fee paying variety and our difficulty was figuring out how we were going to pay for it, not whether to accept the place or not. I would still like to think every single DS who has been offered a place - whether at T, W or any other school that required assessments, interviews and tough (I'd like to believe?) entrance exams, fully deserves a place and I celebrate for each and everyone who has been accepted, while I cry for those who have either not been offered places or had to turn them down because of scholarship or bursary issues.
DS can't wait to start at W - in fact he would have started tomorrow if we had let him - and I really, really hope nothing curbs his enthusiasm, or that of any of the other boys who've worked hard and deserve to have their achievements celebrated. And that is meant in the most positive of ways.

Croydonmumtods Tue 05-Mar-13 22:52:27

nothingyummymum I didn't read anything negative in your previous post in fact felt you reflected my own disappointment at suggestion that anyone who applied to W got in. Have also read cinder55 post and feel it is probably a realistic view from a current parent and forewarned is forearmed but I don't think it is a view shared by all. It is interesting to note that full fee places are available to anyone so perhaps I am a little naive but never mind. Have I made the right choice- yes without a doubt. Is any school likely to be perfect - no. But as cinders said it is a good solid school and up to us and our ds's to make the best of it.

FatalFlowerGarden Tue 05-Mar-13 23:04:22

Well, am just about calmed down now. Ds greeted the news with a huge grin, punched the air and then spent the next hour on the W website, so I think he's pretty pleased too grin

Am interested in the comments made about the 'social mix'. One of the things I like about the Foundation schools is that they do seem to end up with a more diverse intake, far more so than the usual 'public school' cliche. What sort of issues has it caused, cinder?

Croydonmumtods Tue 05-Mar-13 23:15:41

fatal so pleased for you and your DS. At interview W were very particular to stress diversity of the school and to point out that everyone earned their place there and not just kids from independent preps. This is part of what I like about the school - society is diverse and schools should reflect that and children need to learn to get along with people even those they may not like as that is what happens when you go to work. Be interested to see what cinders has to say

Rockwithu Tue 05-Mar-13 23:25:11

Cinder55, can you expand on 'issues with social dynamics'

IMO, there is not much difference between a class size of 20 and 25. 20 and 30, maybe?

Too much rumours going round, unfortunately not a comfort to all those people who didn't get in.

I don't think a lot of people were in any doubt that W, T etc are not super selective schools. Nor do I think most people are not able to look past the purple capes, peacocks and other assortments associated with W. As someone posted earlier, no school is perfect and I bet at least 1 person ( possibly more), could have written the same post cinder55 wrote about the super selective schools. I certainly have heard about people who have been bullied or struggled in the super selective schools. Each one to their own. What I would say, is yes, go in with eyes open, but don't let anything kill the joy & elation of now. And the anticipation of exciting times and the new challenges ahead. As parents we all have to help our DC somewhat, and not rely 100% on the schools, we have our parts to play.

Croydonmumtods Tue 05-Mar-13 23:32:54

rockwithu totally agree horses for courses and all that. I love ds's current school but could produce a very long list of things that could be improved!

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 00:08:16

Thank you Croydonmumtods, had a panic attack that my post could have been misconstrued!
We, too, like the diversity and the "aspirational" aspect of W. It may not be for everyone, but we like the exposure DS will get and hopefully there will even be some boys who may benefit from getting to know his odd little personality.
As we are not by any stretch of the imagination well off, we felt we would not have fitted in at our other option, although that school does indeed perform better in the league tables than W, fwiw.
Also - as I have stated before - DS is not sporty. So he certainly didn't get in on that account. But I do like the idea of him being in a school where sport is important. And art and drama and music and Dalek and robotics club. And mucking about with boys from a slightly or very different background (better and worse!).

cheammum Wed 06-Mar-13 00:30:30

Cinder55...I was estactic to accept my Ds's place at W11+ on a full fees basis (did so with my eyes very widey open; knowing full well that it is not ranked as highly in the league tables as some of the super selective independent schools.

However I did not look at league tables in isolation or listen to the rumour mills at the school cannot judge a school purely like that...There are so many other factors that you need to number one priority was/is mainly will my son be happy, learn and thrive to the best of his ability and have a good social mix of friends ..I still believe W can achieve this.

I am in no doubt that there will be bumps along the no school is perfect. Life is not perfect....!

However as encouraging and supportive parents, I would like to think that we all know whats best for our own individual children,as each child is different; and everyones circumstances and reasons for choosing one school over another will be different.

I for one, as echoed by Croydonmum, Nothingyummymum, Fatal,BurntoutDad and others, am truely proud of my Ds's I still say roll on September...can't wait!

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 00:48:04

Cheammum - i just wrote a really long post in reply to cinder55's seemingly bitter post and lost all of it. When i reloaded, yours was there and its almost identical to what i was going to say smile (although mine wasnt as polite!)

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 01:04:14

Cinders55 - regarding the bright ds not getting a plce at W. Could it not be a number of other factors that prevented it?? Perhaps he had an off day? Or W thought he wouldnt fit? Or parents said something they shouldnt have at interview?
And as for giving the cricketer a large scholarship do you not believe that 'talent' or 'potential' should be rewarded as well as 'academic prowess' ?
If Oxbridge was a parents main focus then research would direct them to kcs etc. My DS for one would hate sitting in a class of 8 being pushed prepped for that.

cheammum Wed 06-Mar-13 01:05:44 do make me laugh...I was fuming while reading Cinders post....oh well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion...and just when I thought I was free from this thread its gone and got even more captivating!

FatalFlowerGarden Wed 06-Mar-13 07:38:52

I think it's very telling that these W/T threads are always enormous, and I think that says a great deal about the ethos of both the school and of the families that want their son(s) to attend. Look at us - we have supported each other since way before results were out, and we're still here weeks later! And I don't recall anyone mentioning league tables, not once...

Maybe I could've sat ds for somewhere more 'selective'. But why would I? I'm not the sort of person who wants 'top tier' or nothing. Whitgift is my local school. I've grown up with it. I know the type of boy it 'produces' (for want of a better word!) And league tables are just the tiniest part of an educational experience, afaic. Maybe it's not utterly perfect in every way. But the school has already shown enormous faith in my ds and I know it's going to offer him the kind of opportunities that his other school options can only dream about, and he will make the most of them. That's more than good enough for me.

Lfs2126 Wed 06-Mar-13 09:05:46

cinders55- this is news to me too! I think my sons year is 191at present so I put the number discrepancy down to natural wastage over the 2GCSE years and/or boys taking exams early so not appearing on cohort stats. I'm a little bemused tbh. as I understand it, the lower achieving boys are in sets of 10 for maths, and last year 2/3 of them reached A*. so why would they be sitting at Croydon college?

Ladymuck Wed 06-Mar-13 09:20:40

Can I suggest that the thread will be most useful in future if you don't "shoot the messenger". Cinder55 is happy with the school for her ds's, but queries whether it provides the same value for money for the full feepayers. We've already had posters on here who have tried to answer that question for themselves. And of course anyone looking at W or T are looking at these schools with a particular context: and more importantly on the basis of what other schools are options for them. Those with offers also from KCS are in a different position from those with a place at Quest Academy.

Please note that the rumour this year is not that everyone who can afford to pay W has a place: it is only about those who passed the exam. Due to threads such as these, which have alerted many people to the offers made by W & T it is more and more common for parents who are aiming for grammar school places to sit W or T as a back-up. It's nothing new, but it has been more common. And this is a relatively "thinner" school year squeezed between 2 "fat ones". Which is not to diminish the achievement or ability of any child who has been offered a place.

I know that a lot of parents have been surprised to have received the class list and then realise the number of boys in the yeargroup, or even boys per form. And it is a difference between W&T (the latter of which try very hard to ensure that they keep to the same intake each year). This doesn't make W a poor school in any way - it is just one of the differences between these schools.

Anyway, all this is moot for the 10+/11+ ers now. And there are many years ahead!

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 09:33:17

Ladymuck – don’t think cinder is just a messenger of others but also expressing her and others opinions, and hasn’t actually said that she is happy with her choice but that her DS,s are happy there.

cinder55 -
The reason your post is a bit of a shake up is that it is the first time I have heard a W parent being so negative about the school, (although of course there must be others) as most have given glowing reports.

In response I would like to add to what others here have said:

1) We know its not a top tier school, never has been. If you judge output to Oxbridge as a factor in choosing a school then W obviously isn't the choice for you.

2) It's almost as if your post is saying 'the children of those earning under £75k per year are creating issues in the social dynamic of the school'. I’m sure this is not what you mean but I am also, like others, very interested in the issues that are being created as it is this mix which makes W popular. I for one could have been someone who would have benefited greatly from the bursary system here (had my parents known about it) as someone who was a bright young child but would never normally have had the opportunity to attend a school like this. Conversely we are now in a position where we would not qualify for a bursary (although paying will be by no means easy) but do not begrudge those that have huge fee remissions – good luck to them I say, if we could do it we would. We are just grateful that DS has a place here with a scholarship, it’s the ethos we wanted not the league table place.

3) My comment re class sizes was in comparison to state comprehensives not the super selectives.

Rumours, rumours, - we have said enough here to show that those rumours are hearsay or based on outcomes from just one small group from a single school. Of course all fee paying schools would need a percentage of full fee paying parents to survive, but the suggestion that you could just call and get a place sounds preposterous.

Not only that but actually posting that here shows a distinct lack of respect for those who have just been through a very taxing process with their children, are delighted with the outcome and are now coming to terms with a decision which in some cases is life changing. And also for those that are maybe now contemplating attending a school they would not choose for their bright DS knowing they passed the W test but just can’t afford to send their DS there, but someone who has the fee could call and get a place without the stress.

I’m sure that a lot of schools ‘cull’ at gcse level in that way, this I’m afraid is a by-product of the league tables that you seem to place so much importance on that losing ‘bright boys’ to other schools is becoming an issue that you (or others) actually complain to the school about. If they wanted ‘the bright’ boys you can bet your bottom dollar that the offers to them would have reflected that. I’m also not sure that the GCSE rankings are as important to them now as the other IB rankings, in any case all schools (bottom to top) will have some method of massaging the numbers to get up that table. btw 'bright' or 'not so bright' boys still both have chances of gaining good grades if the effort and teaching is good. So a 'not so bright' (hate that term!) boy with additional talent in some area makes for a richer environment in a school than all 'very bright' but nothing else - Sutton grammar anyone!

It sounds as if you yourself wanted something that the school didn’t/couldn’t deliver and perhaps are thinking that kcs etc would have been better choices for you.
I thank you for your opinion, although do hope that it’s a minority opinion within the school, as I for one would not like to think that the majority of parents share your view .

With regards to value for money , I for one will keep a close eye to make sure that my DS is getting all he can out of his time there, in clubs and activities etc and would hope to know way before the GCSE’s whether he is struggling to keep up.

We will go in with our eyes wide open, but more importantly with a positive attitude to our chosen school which we have all worked hard to get in to.

bonzoed Wed 06-Mar-13 09:47:32

LadyMuck - how do you find out whether a particular year is a thin or fat one?

Seeline Wed 06-Mar-13 09:48:46

I don't think Cinder55 post was written the way you have interpreted. I know that you are all rejoicing in what your DSs have achieved - and rightly so, but they have not reached Nirvana!! These schools will have problems with bullying, fights, drugs, suspensions, expulsions etc. They do have a mix of pupils - partly due to the bursary system (which Cinder55 openly pointed out that she was in receipt of, so I think your injustice Burntout is bit misplaced!). If you are expecting all parents/pupils to be 100% happy about all aspects of the schools all of the time then you are being unrealistic. Cinder55 was simply pointing out some of the issues she has come across. You do need your eyes wide open to negotiate your way through the system - getting into the schools is only the first step. the point she was making about first-tier schools was in response to several posts made early on in these threads where there was a discussion on this point, not as a criticism of your choices.

Lfs2126 Wed 06-Mar-13 10:00:08

cinder55- you mention in para 4 about a bright boy at ds2 state primary who didn't get a place at w and then in para6 about communicating with hm at ds2 prep school. forgive me for being a little suspicious...

FatalFlowerGarden Wed 06-Mar-13 10:02:35

I think it's the implication that you can just ring up and get a place that's rankled... all the talk of peacocks and capes has been very tongue in cheek after all.

I think most of us have our eyes wiiiide open. Doesn't stop the excitement spilling over sometimes though!

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 10:25:30

Please excuse my ignorance, but what does a "thin" year mean?

As most parents who'd apply to schools like W,T et al and are about to potentially spend a small fortune, I have done months of research (driving DH insane!).
I have spoken to many existing W parents. One could hardly fault anything and her son was happier and performing better than he'd ever been at a very good prep school (not the one with the all-knowing Head where the rumour seems to be emanating from).
Another mum complained about the pre- A level "cull", saying her son had been warned to improve his academic performance or would not be accepted for A levels. He is on a sports scholarship.
Yet another said it had been the best decision they could have made - their DS is a geeky, withdrawn boy who has found his niche and has been allowed to be different.
I have also picked up that existing parents are not necessarily happy with the new boarding facilities and how that would be funded.
Quite a normal group, then, probably very representative of similar schools.

I have to echo that nobody would imagine W to be Nirvana. To get 8 boys in one year goup to Oxbridge is still pretty impressive to me, though..

But I agree, Fatal, the suggestion you could just call up for a place is hard to swallow. Especially after what you'd just been through!

Btw - I know of at least one person on this thread who was offered a place at T and not at W after interview?

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 10:40:01

seeline - I didn't see cinder55's post as a criticism of my choice, really couldn't care less (Iim too thick skinned for that!) decision made - done - move on! And by no means do I think that my Ds has reached Nirvana, I don't quite understand how you came to that conclusion. My positivity has been driven by the perception that the school meets my criteria for choice, if my Ds was more musical say, I perhaps wouldn't be so positive about the sports opportunities.

These schools of course have those issues you have mentioned (although not to the extent and tolerance of some states) but not necessarily due to the bursary system, as cinder55 and perhaps now you are intimating (apologies if you are not). Cant tell if I am really misreading this or it is being inferred that all DC's disciplined in these schools are on Bursaries? or the majority? This would be an interesting stat to have.

I have said that of course not all parents will be happy with their chosen school, and again cant understand where you could make the statement about being unrealistic.
Of course Cinder55 may be making a statement about attitudes there towards herself being in receipt of a bursary, so lets give her the chance to respond or clarify (if she wishes), her view on the social issues. These are of course issues that wont be published anywhere so are important to hear first hand.

Seeline Wed 06-Mar-13 10:50:17

I am in no way criticising the bursary system - my DS is at T and I have no idea which of his friends are on bursaries and/or scholarships. They all seem charming boys. Parental income has no reflection on standards of behaviour.
Neither were my comments directed at you in particular Burntout - my comment re injustice reflected my feeling that you were perhaps criticising Cinder55 for commenting on the burary/social mix issue when she herself was in receipt of bursaries. I am sorry if that wasn't clear.

FatalFlowerGarden Wed 06-Mar-13 10:52:06

Wrt to the whole 'social dynamics' thing... well, we'll have to cross those bridges if and when we come to them. As long as cinder55 isn't implying that there is bullying of boys on fee remission then I think we can handle it. Am well aware that there may be some boys in ds's class who will find it strange/amusing/whatever that he lives in a 2nd-floor flat rather than a 6-bed house with a pool but, hey ho! Maybe they'll learn something from him wink

cheammum Wed 06-Mar-13 10:56:54

Just like to point out that Cinder55 initially states that Ds's DO NOT benefit from that's probably the underlying issue here!

cheammum Wed 06-Mar-13 11:01:06

Sorry...just re read Cinders it wrong..Ds's DO benefit from I am now totally confused as to reasoning behind initial rant!

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 11:05:12

nothingyummymum - Parents shouldn't actually be surprised at the pre A level cull as its not hidden away, ive been trying to think where i read about it and have just found this published in the W 6th form curriculum booklet -

"Admission to the Sixth Form is not automatic, however, and internal students entering from the Upper Fifth Form are expected to achieve at least 21 points in their GCSE grades. (A* = 4 points, A = 3 points, B = 2 points). The usual requirement for external candidates is seven GCSE passes at A*/A grade. Certain subjects also have specific GCSE grade requirements and all students should achieve an A* or an A grade in the subjects they wish to pursue post 16. Similarly, students are expected to maintain these high academic standards throughout the Sixth Form."

Now we all know what we need to achieve not to get 'culled'!

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 11:12:24

seeline - No worries from my end smile, we have all been through too much here to fall out with each over mis-interpreted posts.
Anyway cinder55 post has certainly caused some debate which can only be a good thing I suppose and what forums like this are for.

Ill never get off now sad - checking and waiting for her response.

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 11:15:19

Easy to find which of his friends are are on bursaries btw - they will all be in detention! wink wink only joking!!!!!!!!!

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 11:43:47

burntout LOL. trust you to bring things back to a more normal level! I think perhaps the established W (or indeed T) parents reading this probably do have a good laugh at our rose tinted outlook but no doubt they were in the same position once. I assume a 'thin' year is one where acceptances are not as high as in previous years so more people on waiting list do receive offers?? In the case of W I would think this is due to economic climate/ fee increase/ less generous scholarship offers. There do appear to have been far more scholarships awarded at T and as their fees are already lower this presents a far better option financially.In a roundabout way I think this is the point that cinder55 was trying to make. Its a lot of money so carefully consider your options.
Anyway I'm leaving my rose tinted specs on for a bit longer - they make me look younger!

Seeline Wed 06-Mar-13 11:49:09

I think a 'thin' year relates to the fact that for the 11+ cohort it is a low birth rate year - certainly next year and the year after are a much higher birth rate ie there are more children in total in the year group chasing the places.

Ladymuck Wed 06-Mar-13 11:52:00

Fat/thin year: The current year 5 and 7 in most local prep schools have been jam-packed, with waiting lists. Years 4 and 6 have spaces, and in some schools have one less class than in 5 and 7. Obviously W&T take half their boys from state schools, but the prep schools provide a steady stream of feepayers, and this is a business after all.

And again, please read what is being said carefully. No-one has said that you can phone up and just get a place. But, they haven't filled their offers, and W has a date for a late entrance test at the start of next term to pick up boys who may be suitable but didn't apply first time round. This isn't new, it happens each year, and if you have checked on previous threads it has certainly been mentioned on here before, but I think that this test wasn't used last year as they did fill their offers, and boys were left on the waiting list. Again there is no suggestion that they will take simply anyone who can pay. And we know boys who have sat the late test and been awarded scholarships at that sitting.

Finally Cinder55 mentioned that the wide social mix gives certain problems. She has not implied that it is those on bursaries who are the problem.

Somelikeithott Wed 06-Mar-13 11:55:15

I totally agree, with your initial response to cinder's post burntout. It's what I was thinking of posting last night when I read the post, but couldn't sum up the energy to do so!!

Too many unfounded, rumours going round. I just don't see the need for comparisons in this way. I know of a boy who finished the whitgift exams, including VR ( with time to spare, and did well overall). But couldn't quite finish the English paper at T, and found the T exam generally more difficult. He got a good academic scholarship at T, but didn't get one at W. I think we all generally agree both schools are fantastic ( even though not top tier). And some people, including us have found it a bit difficult to make a choice. But now we have done, we are happy with this.

What amazes me though, is that on this thread that has been very wonderful and supportive, is that the poster who changed the tone ( repeatedly has gone quiet). Unfortunately, they are not who they claim to be!!!!! That poster has also posted contradicting information about themselves, as well some untrue 'facts'. I wonder if they didn't get the desired offer from W, or maybe no offer at all. Hence the need to have a dig at W, despite them saying they have opted for T, which is their preferred school and turned down a substantial scholarship offer from W. Why can't you make your decision, be happy with it and move on? No need to try and put other school(s) down. Sorry if I'm getting personal, but I couldn't hold my tongue ( or fingers), for much longer.

Can't read this back, so please excuse typos.

Somelikeithott Wed 06-Mar-13 11:56:36

Lol! Croydon mums re rose tinted specs!!!

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 12:06:47

Ladymuck - your insight is always great and you are a voice of reason but this is copied from Cinder55 post:

It is also an open secret there that if your DS has not got a place elsewhere and did not try initially for Whitgift then a full fee place can be secured there today.

I really don't think this leaves room for interpretation but personally I view it as an opinion being expressed and not as a hard fact.

Hott yes please lets just forget all the rumours and move on. Glad you have challenged the rogue in our midst as it surely can't have escaped the notice of at least a few others!
Now can we back back to beer and curry or wine and nibbles and preseason friendlies (although starting to have visions of angry parents screaming at each other - my schools better then your school - na na na na naaahh)!!!!!!!!!!!!

hardboiled Wed 06-Mar-13 12:18:46

despite them saying they have opted for T, which is their preferred school and turned down a substantial scholarship offer from W.

hott I am confused, I thought Cinder said her DC are all at W?

Still following this thread with pleasure in spite of having opted for another school btw!

racegirl87 Wed 06-Mar-13 12:35:33

Woah. Just logged on and found a vast amount to read. My ds is off to T so can't have a personal perspective to add to that thread
I think (running a non-academic school myself and dealing with parents) that ultimately, you can't please all the people all the time and that took me while to realise. I do my best and work hard to be fair, encourage children etc... but still, some people will feel hard done by or aggrieved at certain decisions. It's mostly to do with the individual parents having unrealistic expectations of their children or what the school can achieve and not knowing enough about standards and defining characteristics (natural ability) to see what I, as a professional , can see.

I really feel that with parents as dedicated as you all seem to be, your ds's will continue to succeed wherever they go and you should all be proud to have gone with your instincts and taken the difficult steps towards securing the right school for your child.

My ds is in a very good state school where the teachers are great, and he has had some extra attention (being on the gifted and talented register) over his time there to extend his maths ability far past the level his year were working at. They've supported him really well but my DH and I both knew yr 6 would be treading water and going to a fantastic state secondary (which we're in spitting distance of) would not instil the drive or challenge in him as an individual.
So I made a choice to potentially take him away from his friends and the school he loves (which he was initially not happy about) and try this school that we literally fell in love with when we looked round last October.
He is now chomping at the bit to go and cannot wait to get to all the clubs on offer and really extend his learning.

I would imagine most of you are the same - you saw a benefit in your ds going elsewhere and so took steps to realise that so bravo to you all.

There will be good and not so good everywhere I guess, different pressures and conflicts but that is how real life is and I would rather my ds experience these life lessons in a supportive environment where I feel I can trust the teachers and faculty than live unrealistically through the next 7/8 yrs in a hot house environment getting souped up to just get Oxford/Cambridge.

Incidentally, my ds informed me on the way home from test that he didn't finish the maths or the verbal reasoning papers so when that phone call came for the interview - I was very shocked!!!

We still have cheesy grins on our faces every time someone approaches one of us to congratulate ds on getting in to T and haven't heard a bad word against it....and if I did.?.?. I'd still be grinning like a Cheshire Cat!!!

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 12:36:58

hardboiled - I think hott is referring to a previous poster who managed to get my (peacock) feathers ruffled.
Yes, let's move on. I'll also keep on my rose-tinted glasses, if only to hide the fact that I'm one of the state school products feeling so incredibly privileged to give my child such an amazing opportunity that I have been suckered into existence of beans on toast..
Well, bring it on. Maybe we're lucky we're in a thin year and our sons only had to pass the test (and I thought it was my specially purchased exec looking jacket that swayed the interview and the fact that I could get through it without cursing once!).
Now hoping that DS2 also has a thin year. What does the current Year 2 intake look like?

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 12:43:41

racegirl - what a lovely post. You are so right and verbalised perfectly what I suspect many of us think.
I'm the other Cheshire Cat..

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 12:47:20

I will therefore be easily recognised as the grinning lunatic wearing the same jacket all year round suffering the bad side effects of baked beans..

GetMeOut Wed 06-Mar-13 12:52:24

I think a 'thin' year refers to a low birth rate year , which I have always understood the 2001/2002 birth year ( academic year ) to be. This was the last declining birth rate year and it has continued to steadily increase since then ( hence the pressure on Primary places in the last few year s )

racegirl87 Wed 06-Mar-13 12:53:23

yummymummy actually lol'ed
I bet that was a sentence you could never have envisioned yourself saying a few months ago. To virtual friends. grin

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 12:57:36

Glad we are back on track. Inspired by nothingyummymummy I think I have finally figured out the real meaning of a thin year - what we will all be in a years time after living on baked beans walking to school etc etc in order to pay fees. I guess that means by the time we leave we'll be a skeletel year.

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 13:00:38

I think hot is referring to 'real life'???????. Wow intrigue now confused shock hmm, this thread is becoming like a real life soap.
Can see the opening sequence now....

A mum sitting in a two bed flat overlooking a 6 bed house and waiting for the phone to ring with some news. looking wistfully at the neighbours pool ..
A dad, secretly addicted to a website dedicated to mums is frantically posting his innermost thoughts before his wife gets home....
Cut to Croydon and to a mum contemplating selling all she owns to join a lucrative business venture hiring donkeys to those kids on bursaries at the local school...
The mum with twins has not been heard from in a while, maybe she's visiting her relative in Cheam..
There is some confusion at the goings on and rumours abound, something is a foot - a mysterious figure with a name like a fairytale princess has cast sadness over the entire cast - but then the local Hottie suggests that she isn't who she says she is????????............. tune in next week to see how the mucky lady solves this mystery!

hardboiled Wed 06-Mar-13 13:05:44

I am so hoooked burnt

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 13:06:38

LOL but think the real villain remains hidden whilst the obvious suspect takes all the heat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GetMeOut Wed 06-Mar-13 13:10:38

Apologies; just realised this has already been answered ! A lot of reading to catch up on.

Somelikeithott Wed 06-Mar-13 13:13:23

OMG, can't stop laughing, my colleagues think I've gone loopy!!!!
Or have I???????

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 13:22:00

And I fear if I wake DH once more after midnight to tell him what my imaginary friends (and detractors) have to say, I will be skeletonmum let alone skeletal..

cheammum Wed 06-Mar-13 13:34:57 guys are amazing.!!!

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 14:01:50

Have been lurking and following since mid Jan after going through the high and lows of the entrance process a couple of years ago. I am a current parent (fee paying!) at Whitgift, and to be honest I think what Cinders55 said was pretty unbiased and a fairly accurate reflection of what a number of W parents feel. Have reread her comments a couple of times and dont think it is bitter but she is simply stating her opinions with a few facts(?!) thrown in. The Oxbridge Stat about KCS is one such fact.

For what its worth my view on the issues she raised. Has the school and year groups grown to big, the general feeling is that they have. It is fair to say that Whitgift will add a class if demand is their or needs require, whereas other schools are far more rigid on the year group structure. Trinity got caught a a couple of years ago and have clearly said never again. Asking boys to sit GCSE's at Croydon College is a real live issue for Whitgift parents ( not mine hopefully - will find out in a couple of years!) and if you were paying full fees like us you might feel a touch agrieved.......

In terms of the social dynamic I cant answer for Cinder, but there have been numerous incidents with disruptive boys and it takes a while to settle a year group down, and teach them the Whitgift Way. Whether they are Sporty boys, coming for State primaries or boys on fee remissions i cant say and would be unfair to try and paint this way. Not sure if thats what she mean and maybe she can answer.

In terms of places available there are still places available as they have had a number of rejections, whether this is because of a lack of scholarships etc I dont know but it appears to have surprised them and this year there is no waiting list.

As Ladymuck says it is all about choices, if you have "Top Tier" choices like St Pauls or KCS you would not choose Whitgift, but they are clearly not right for every boy, but Whitgift is in my mind a school which offers my sons opportunities that he would not have got in the state system.

To end on a lighter note the current joke amongst Whitgift parents was on the website a month ago they proudly displayed the banner "A top 5 UK boarding/Day school" A couple of weeks ago this was changed to "A top 10 UK boarding/Day school"!!!!! No sources quoted but not sure what happened there and why the demotion but hoping next month wont have to change again, and also strange given the boarding house is not open yet!!!

Looking forward to welcoming those of you joining the roll call of Whitgift parents in September!!

Lfs2126 Wed 06-Mar-13 14:13:36

shazoom- if already asked cinder55 with no response. please can you tell me your source about boys doing GCSE at Croydon college ?

cheammum Wed 06-Mar-13 14:17:46

Thanks SHAZ...for that insightful post...of great value!

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 14:26:30

Thank you, Shazoom. May I just say that although I was taken aback by Cinder's post, I do understand where she's coming from and as prospective parents it is very useful information, obviously to be balanced with other information.

I can only speak for myself, but I have to say it is a bit sad to be getting this information now, after we've made our decisions. Maybe if current parents could have posted their views in January or February, even beginning of March, it migt have been a bit more helpful? I, for one, would not have been swayed, but I would have felt more informed instead of getting this post facto bucket of cold water.. We had an excellent alternative, not a Quest Academy. And hearing about disruptive boys really makes my heart sink..

Having said that - ths forum is indeed very open and frank. I suppose many other schools don't have this kind of discussion and parents would walk in there none the wiser and only then find out what problems there may be. As someone else has said - all schools have their quota of challenges.

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 14:40:22

lfs2126 - my source is a pretty upset parent, whose DS just got their Mock GCSE results and been told that even he cannot sit exams at Whitgift this summer (predicted couple of A's but mainly B&C at GCSE). This is why I said it as a real live issue now going on now. Can I respectfully suggest you ask the school this question. Over last three years how many in GCSE year group and how many sat English and Maths at Whitgift, and what happened to the rest......

As said my DS is happy and so am i but there are issues at Whitgift, the School is going through lots of change at present and any parent sending their child their should be aware of these I think.

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 14:45:03

Feel like I'm changing this thread to a currents parents thread but the other issue doing the round is the proposed inflation busting fee increase for next year. At over £16k for us full fee payers the cost is heading into the territory of the super selectives like KCS etc. I have 5 more years left (hopefully!) and i suspect that I will be looking at more than £20k per annum which is frighening when I think about it now.

Anyway, as said just posting to make people aware of current school gate chatter

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 14:56:09

shazoom I have no knowledge of GCSE process yet so excuse me asking what may be a very stupid question but are you saying that a boy who was previously doing so well that A's were predicted has out of the blue been told he can't sit GCSE at W?? Was there absolutely no warning that he may be struggling?

Lfs2126 Wed 06-Mar-13 14:57:57

shazoom thank you so much for replying. can I just confirm that this boy has effectively been asked to leave the school on the back of some average mocks? as a fellow fee payer I am quite disturbed by this, as I can't find any reference to this practice at all.

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 15:11:10

nothingyummy you read my mind re having this info in January not now but if school is undergoing a change may well be better for us in the long run. Entering at 10+ gives you plenty of time to assess the situation for yourself and still plenty of time to move ds if it dosnt meet expectations. I wouldn't want to have to move ds but it is always an option. Can't help but think we will benefit from the changes but do feel desperately sorry for anyone at GCSE level or close to that who dosnt have the options we still have. Hope you sleep well tonight!!!

fondofuk Wed 06-Mar-13 15:26:11

Some quite negative "information" suddenly appearing. I just handed in my acceptance and deposit to W today.

We are from overseas but currently live here. We are full-fee paying, boarding place, so according to those negative (or realistic) postings, I must be the one hit worst because we deliberately chose to apply for a weekly boarding place to ensure my DS GET IN a GOOD school. If day places are still there to be just claimed by anyone who can afford, this makes me the saddiest parents this time around.

I don't compare W with St. Paul, Westminster, KCS Wimbledon as I know they are in a different league and my DS unfortunately wouldn't get in anyway. 8 Oxbridge this time but it was around 15 last time. I did some math while ago on "Oxbridge+LSE+Imperial+UCL" numbers divided by year 13 co-hort and it was around 25~28% which was similar to Dulwich college (which I consider a peer, but slightly upper league). And I think the fact that they at least send in some boys to those Univs would create enough environment for "most" boys to be in a "studying" air.

Also senior school guide on W from my DS prep says "rather unpredictable on whom they take". I guess this neither good nor bad, maybe reflecting wide arrange of considerations at W admissions -- social mix, sports, etc..

I just hope the new boarding would prove best choice to me after couple of terms.

* I don't still understand the mechanism asking W boys to sit GCSE at another school. Is this possible? But regardless of what happened to this (failing?) small group, most of the GCSE math enters are above A, which shouldn't be ignored.

Marni23 Wed 06-Mar-13 15:28:57

I don't think the reference to boys being asked to sit GCSEs at Croydon College means they will have been asked to leave the school (though I could be wrong). It's more likely that, as the exams are taken somewhere else, they won't appear in W's published figures (or affect their place in the league tables). I have absolutely no knowledge of whether this practice is taking place btw, but if it was I think that would be the likely reason.

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 15:34:49

Have just been reading whitgift or dulwich thread from last year to which soup lady muck and Basildonbond contributed. Makes our exchanges feel positively tame! Do you all still feel the same about W?

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 15:37:28

lfs2126, not been asked to leave, still be at Whitgift and participate fully in lessons and school life, will simply be asked to enter the exams privately and not under the Whitgift umbrella, depending on results may then be invited back into the fold for 6th form.

hardboiled Wed 06-Mar-13 15:46:35

Why stop at those predicted B and C...why not keep the A* only, everyone go take your exams somewhere else, get 100% A* credited to the school, pretend the others never attended, and beat St Paul's on the league tables. So simple. Wonder why not everyone does the same. hmm

Aggghhh. New parents...unfortunately there are league tables and it's ugly out there. But remember all you are hearing from the current parents is "my DS is happy at the school." Focus on that. That's a lot.

Lfs2126 Wed 06-Mar-13 15:53:28

OK i thought w had removed themselves from the circus that is the league tables so this farming out stance wouldn't make any sense. I'm sorry but the cynic is coming out now, there is more to this thread than meets the eye and I can smell sour grapes a mile off. # just saying...

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 15:57:38

Simply trying to be rational and helpful (!) and convey the real feelings and emotions of Whitgift sour grapes or agenda from me.

I will leave the thread and and casually observe from a distance.

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 16:06:37

All - Stop stressing and embrace your decision, move forwards positively and remember the reasons you chose the school. Oh and make sure your Ds works hard enough to get the grades required. If he is not doing so well here imagine how well he would have done in the local state which could have been more of a challenge (those where state was an option) or grammars where the same practise must go on, or other schools were the intake is so bright they don't have to worry about it.
Cmon guys we have heard from 2 slightly disgruntled parents (appreciate the advice) out of how many, and its more likely that people put 'pen to paper' when complaining than otherwise. I don't even think that the advice given is particularly eye opening either.
I think that there has obviously been a drop in resources to cater for the new boarding house, but I think it will settle and fees do not necessarily have to rise by those amounts once the fees from boarding are incorporated.

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 16:22:11
kimalima Wed 06-Mar-13 16:23:00

Lfs2126 From my understanding, League tables are still published for all GCSE's by the Local Education Authority. It is the A Level ones that the Whitgift foundation have extracted themselves from.

My friend's son at W had to sit ONE exam as Croydon College. Not all just the ONE. Various reasons around it but it happened. FACT.

Likewise as Burntoutdad flagged if you don't make the grades for A Levels you may be asked to leave.

Accusations of sour grapes are really very unfair. I think folks are trying to portray a realistic scenario. Likewise I have a very fair knowledge of T, by talking to colleagues and friends whose DC's attend. Not all good but would it affect my decision, no.

Shazoom, personally I thank you for your honesty.

As others have said - not one post where 'negative' points have been raised did anyone say that their DS's were not happy at the school. To me that speaks volumes.

Sorry for the rant blush, I just couldn't keep quiet.

kimalima Wed 06-Mar-13 16:27:24

Burntoutdad was looking for the 'Like' button. So will give you flowers, wine and biscuits instead thanks, wine, biscuit.

Hooray... let calm be restored.

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 16:32:21

Awww thank you Kimalima - there should be beer & curry smileys for us dads!

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 17:14:33

Yes well said burntoutdad everyone's experience of any school will be different and there will always be gripes and moans. Most parents will be oblivious to this if their ds is happy and if like me you take school gate gossip with a shovel of salt all will be well.
Bring on the beer and curry specially for BOD.

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 17:25:11

fondofuk - just wanted to say congratulations on your decision - and welcome to the 2013 intake.

Another feature to recognise me by is that I'll have no hair left in September. And I may be clutching a bottle.. going around offering random dads beer and curry.

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 17:49:56

nothingyummy sounds like we have so much in common! LOL

fondofuk Wed 06-Mar-13 17:51:53

nothingyummymum -- thank you for welcoming.

I have no regret. In fact, we didn't have a choice. DS has very good math, but really low English mark. As these days most overseas boys whether on parent work assignment or genuinely on alone for boarding come here with very good English, it was very difficult for us to get a place at a "reputable" school.

Quite relieved now, but only additional finance matters! Not all overseas boarders are rich... Heard they start with about 50 boarders for now, half of full capacity. My DS will enjoy double spaces in the meantime! I am sure they will take good care of new boarders.

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 18:05:28

croydonmumtods - and then I may also be yelling out to croydon mums to come over for wine!! I suspect we'll REALLY add to the diversity. Can you imagine the horror stories next year's thread will hear?

Kylep Wed 06-Mar-13 19:19:15

Cinder - thanks that's made me realise it was the right decision my ds is going to trinity

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 19:25:31

kylep - come on now, we could probably wheel out someone from T that would make the same kind of comments and make those at W feel they had made the right choice too (which we have of course!).

Kylep Wed 06-Mar-13 19:37:33

God some long discussions busy at work today , so unable to contribute I've had a negative comment about T ( oh yes ) !!!

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 19:38:13

burntout exactly. The info is out there. Everyone here has made the right choice - lets just enjoy ourselves now.

Kylep Wed 06-Mar-13 19:40:22

As for somelikeithots comments I've been BUSY but back I was just posting what I've heard I didn't anticipate this. !!!
The headmaster is off on a sabbatical next year GREAT , apparently some boys don't get enough activities to do due to too much homework so it's not all hunky dory at T

GetMeOut Wed 06-Mar-13 19:53:44

I think the sabatical is only for 3 months and is an academic break to do some research and then he has signed a long term commitment to be Head Master until he retires which I think is 10 more years ? We did all get a letter about it and I think it is all very positive in the long term. So T people relax again smile

Kylep Wed 06-Mar-13 19:57:12

Get me out -- we all thought it was 1 year , 3 months not so bad thanks


The sabbatical is in the summer term and to before any of you miscreants start your life as T parents smile

racegirl87 Wed 06-Mar-13 20:05:46

Found this folks....
"So in the Summer Term 2013, from April 15th until July 15th, Mr Bishop will be on sabbatical leave. During his absence Mr Joe McKee, the Deputy Headmaster, who for the last 6 years has been responsible for the day to day running of the school, will be the Acting Head. "

GetMeOut Wed 06-Mar-13 20:24:06

April to July of this year only As part of his sabatical He has been awarded a scholarship by Goldsmiths to do research into the graduate recruitment process in large companies plus spending time working with some large companies looking at their graduate recruitment process.
He will then obviously bring all this knowledge back to T and develop appropriate strategies in school to help develop students in their final years.

Ref the other point , yes, a lot of activities and homework, but they do try and instill good studying methods and strategies and organisationsal skills. It is a shock at first but my Ds is a changeling now ( is this organized child really my Ds !) got to wear them out to use up all the testosterone seems to be the general philosophy !

Somelikeithott Wed 06-Mar-13 20:41:48

Kylep, welcome back! I'm not too concerned about the things you've heard, we've all heard all sorts. I'm more concerned about who you claim to be and therefore inferences made. Question is, have you been honest on this thread, about who you are / the 'facts' you have posted? I can pick apart some of your posts, but as my desire is to remain anonymous on here I won't even make further reference to this issue. But I have now concluded its best for us all to be circumspect and not believe all we read on here. Also let everyone be happy with the choices they've made, move on and don't feel the need to belittle others' choices or schools. There are lots of good schools around and we as parents are doing our best to match our DC to the ideal schools for them.

Kylep Wed 06-Mar-13 20:51:09

Well obviously everyone wants to remain Anonymous but you insulting my post and who I claim to be just not on if you think you've made the right choice then GOOD for you I am perfectly happy with my ds and his new school but thought I would just share my info which btw seems to be true after all these long discussions I however do have more but will keep it to myself don't want another rage !!! However I did a lot of research and to my knowledge all has been spot on good luck to all

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 20:56:52

OK, I said I would disappear gracefully but can't let the last post from Hott go unchallenged. How have I belittled anyone's choices. I am a Whitgift parent trying to do the best for their DS, but was simply giving my views of actual life at the school and some of the issues you will face.

As for Kylep and inconsistencies, not sure what you have spotted, but for us existing W parents the one person whose activity on here that we talk about at the school gate is the musings of BurntOutDad, his DS had the perfect ride through the Whitgift admissions process and whose writing style seems remarkably similar to a well known member of staff at Whitgift - coincidence?

Kylep Wed 06-Mar-13 21:02:50

Burnt- you're talk of the town !!!
Somelikeithot - maybe just maybe I have inside contacts !!!!!!!!!!!

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 21:02:52

Somelikeithott, may I also go around looking for a particularly hot mum to invite over for wine?

Personally, I really don't mind some advice, some misgivings and even a good old rant. I detest gloating, though.

We have made our decisions and, come hell or high water, we have to make the best of it. We have actually tried repeatedly to move on on this thread, only to be yanked back. I think it is unfair to do that to parents who have also only just tried to do the best for their kids (along the same lines as somelikeithott )- as I'm sure everyone has set out to do. I, for one, am not going to get into a slanging match. I am not looking for any negatives at T. That will be too awful. I hope everyone who chose it, will be really happy and get the most out of it.

The threads of last year and the year before helped inspire me to become part of one of two amazing schools. I really hope the 2014 intake will not be put off by this. And I certainly hope that we will be able to inspire next year's parents with constructive input, encouragement and sound advice.

whose writing style seems remarkably similar to a well known member of staff at Whitgift - coincidence

Are staff members generally uninformed about how the admissions procedure works then?

Somelikeithott Wed 06-Mar-13 21:06:54

Shazoom, my post was specifically directed at kylep, and no one else. And refers to postings from way back on previous full thread and the current one.

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 21:08:34

That's my point Burnt was remarkably well informed........and reported every twist and turn in great detail. Soup I believe you are a T parent but ask around W and you will find someone who has heard of the legend of Burnt!

Why did he PM me asking about the admissions process then?

Somelikeithott Wed 06-Mar-13 21:11:38

Lol, yummymum, no longer look particularly hot, after this whole process.

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 21:12:34

Hott, ok apologies, as said not my intention to offend and hoping I did not!! simply giving my views on current issues. Now where is Burnt?

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 21:13:01

Am actually sitting here in tears. How on earth did it get to this?

basildonbond Wed 06-Mar-13 21:15:19

very confused about all the mentions of 'talk at the school gates' at W... how many parents seriously pick up their children from secondary school???? I picked ds up after his first day in Y6 and thereafter have only been back for parents' evenings, plays, matches etc ...

There are a lot of existing parents at W (and T) and I don't think anyone on this thread could claim to be speaking on behalf of the majority

As for the claim that lots of dc get forced to sit their GCSEs at Croydon College, ds is in Y11 and got less than stellar results in his mocks (purely his fault for using the novel revision technique of doing no revision ...) and there's been no suggestion that he drops anything or doesn't sit all his exams at school. None of his friends have been told anything similar either. The boys have all been told that they need to perform at GCSE if they want to stay on for 6th form and they are all very well aware that not all of them will be there come September - am hoping that will make ds buck his ideas up a bit (why does he choose y11 of all years to take his foot off the pedal academically?? I blame hormones ....confused)

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 21:16:05

Soup - he pm'd you? Was it something that could not have been shared everyone benefited from?

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 21:18:23

First 2 years at school you are allowed to park in Big side car park and wait for DS and parents obviously talk!!

Why wouldn't he PM me? At least two other posters also did so in order to ask specific questions.

Somelikeithott Wed 06-Mar-13 21:18:34

No worries shazoom, I'm happy and all is well.

Yummymum, no need for tears, lets get back to the all important issue of our DC.

T or W or anywhere else for that matter, the dedication we have to our DC is what will stand them in good stead more than anything else!

Having looked through my messages, 4 different posters PMed me about the admissions process.

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 21:25:01

Oh wow this really is getting a bit mad. Just in case anyone was wondering I work for the FBI when I'm not posting on mumsnet!!! LOL re Burnt - if you are an insider well done still hope you have a ds who's good at football as we need him for the team.
kylep you have to admit you have been very inconsistent with your info.
nothingyummy can I have that wine now please.
Have to say the peacock brigade seem far more fun - or am I just stirring????

Not stirring, delusional wink

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 21:28:35

"4 different posters pm'd you" Not sure of the relevance of that? In any event was just me opining on one poster after another questioned another!!!!

As yummymummy says how did it come to this, and my fault for allowing myself to be dragged into a pointless argument. I genuinely hope that everyone has got the places they desired.

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 21:29:58

Ha ha ha lol - i dont know whats happening here and why it has had to turn nasty but ladies pls keep me out of your squables!
Shazz - im flattered that my musings here have made me famous and the talk of the mums at the front gate, in fact i find it unbeliveable, i keep laughing to myself now. What a let down to all when u actually see me and realise i am only just a new parent. I do take offence to your presumption of my perfect ride through addmissions. It was no easy ride, far from it and my DS worked hard every morning and afternoon with me with him to get him through.
And i am most certainly not a member of staff. Do you really think a member of staff would be able to post here throughout the day. What is wrong with you people??
You have given a usefull insight into how these rumours are started though which is quite ironic (and sad ). Remind me never to stand around the school gates and get caught up in this girlish chatter!
This forum really has taken a turn for the worse from when you guys started the negativity.
I dont want to get involved in handbags at dawn so think its time for me and my donkey to sign off.
Good luck to everyone, well done and best wishes to DS's starting new schools in Sept. smile.

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 21:30:22

soup I think you might be right!
yummy turn your tears to tears of laughter as you think about reading this again in a years time.
burnt comments please!!

kimalima Wed 06-Mar-13 21:30:29

Oi croydonmum I'm fun! Can I join the gang? Even if I am the T Camp?!

Er... The relevance as that you seemed to think it was odd of him to PM me and you were questioning why he wouldn't post on the open forum. I was simply pointing out that he was far from the only one to do so.

As for "how did it come to this", well, you haven't helped by spreading rumour and gossip about a poster have you?

Kylep Wed 06-Mar-13 21:32:36

Croydon - have I didnt realise but no one wants to be known on here so maybe if I gave it all then would have been busted
I'm seriously not trying to wind anyone up but some people are beginning to get VERY personal which isn't on !!!! I would love to know there real identity just giving out info which as a parent would want to know , so when the boys start you can put it RIGHT

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 21:32:50

burnt please don't leave our posts crossed. I agree its handbags at dawn but am I the only one to see the funny side??

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 21:34:41

kima of course you can join the gang the more the merrier

this girlish chatter

I suspect it is more to do with bored people looking for gossip than the fact that they are female.

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 21:38:49

Have a read of all burnts posts and make your own mind up. we are well impressed with the amount of time he did have to post on here during the working day, and is now gracefully bowing out!

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 21:39:14

soupyears since I've been associated with the word girlish so ok by me

kimalima Wed 06-Mar-13 21:40:11

Hooray...thank you because I am seriously lost with the recent threads!!

We all started off the same, the majority I presume applied to both schools. Choices have been made. Choices that are best for our DS's. Be happy for everyone.

You are hilarious, Shaz00m.

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 21:41:35

soup - Why?

Well, if he is a staff member he is spectacularly uninformed about how the whole process works.

But don't let that stop the rumour mill.

I'm going to let you all get on with it.

I hope your DSs all thrive in their new schools. smile

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 21:49:04

Ok if you say so....not sure why you are sticking up for Burnt but not Kylep where aspersions have been cast as well?

DivaMum23 Wed 06-Mar-13 21:49:28

How many request have we had on mumsnet where someone enquired about Whitgift.
We would get the usual replies it’s sporty but a good school etc, etc.
I would have guessed one of those request would have been the time for cinder55,
to have posted this very informative info about the school so forgive me if I take all
cinder55 rant with a bucket full of salt.
By the way no one gets out of their car in the Big side car park, everyone sits in
Their car and wait for their sons, I never see any parents speaking to each other.
It’s one of the most unfriendly school in regards to parents contact with each other.

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 21:49:55

soup - since I asked how it all came to this - went back through all my posts and not sure that I had spread rumour and gossip about anybody? Questioned a poster, yes, and mentioned that same poster had ruffled my feathers.

In any case. For clarification. I don't work for anyone. Or at least not anymore. Because I have now just about lost all jobs through non-delivery sitting on MN. So, if anyone wants to recruit me, please pm.

Yes, sense of humour restored. Once again. Maybe we can develop a secret handshake to recognise each other?

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 21:54:20

nothingyummy grin

burntoutdad Wed 06-Mar-13 21:59:10

For gods sake Shazz give it a rest. I work for myself so can spend as long as i like (which is more than i should) posting here. And only because it is regarding the one issue that has taken over my life the last few months - getting my DS into the school of our choice.
Im the kind of person that likes detail and considering that my DS in involved have researched as much as i can, i only have the same information that is avaiable to anyone who cares to look for it or ask the right questions. I dont care who you think i am, but do worry now that i am so famous through gate gossip that my DW will find out how long i have spent on this forum!
Sorry if i offended anyone with the word girly btw but this is so irelevant.
Cant beleive i had to explain myself!
And Soup thank you for your info when i asked it did come in useful. (No Shazz thats not code!)

cheammum Wed 06-Mar-13 22:07:56

Burntoutdad ---Will miss you're ramblings, if you decide not to return...Good luck to your Ds...he has a bright future ahead of him (regardless of what life throws at him) with a father like you!

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 22:08:01

burnt just pm'd you as thought you weren't coming back sad. Glad you couldn't keep away.

hardboiled Wed 06-Mar-13 22:08:30

Well burnt you do have to admit, this is conflict at its best, it is the best development you could've asked for your T&W real life soap after a promising first sequence...unless you are writing this whole screenplay yourself...
Now, that would genius!

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 22:10:17

burnt - if you don't return, can we still use your and croydonmum's donkeys (if they don't all end up in school dinners?)

Somelikeithott Wed 06-Mar-13 22:12:39

Burnt, act 1, scene 2 over now... You can't keep us in suspense forever... We need your directorial expertise.

Croydonmumtods Wed 06-Mar-13 22:13:30

Enter donkey stage left!

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 22:25:47

Croydonmumtods - you are amazing.

Burnt - if you are a member of staff, I just realised that I told you about getting a brazilian on this forum. Oh my word, I seriously hope you didn't interview us!!!

Shaz - please help me here - which member of staff is it?

not sure why you are sticking up for Burnt but not Kylep where aspersions have been cast as well?

Lol. Because BoD has PMed me and Kylep hasn't! I've absolutely no idea or comments to make about Kylep. No reason to to the them at face value so far as I can see but, TBH, I haven't been dissecting their comments. However, I did have "information" about BoD that is not on the open forum.

Anyway, I only came back to comment on your remark about BoD that "his DS had the perfect ride through the Whitgift admissions process". This is laughable when looked at alongside the neurotic* and fretting PMs I had smile His ride through the W admissions process is no more or less perfect that my DS2s was (although we turned down a scholarship) and I sure as hell am not a staff member.

Hope you enjoy passing this snippet on to your fellow car park chatters smile

* and I mean this in a friendly and understanding manner grin

This thread has been completely spoiled by gossip, rumour, troll hunting and conspiracy theorists. Which is why I am hiding it.

Lfs2126 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:43:21

blimey, 'may contain nuts' has nothing on this threadgrin . there is no school gate, as divamum said 'no one gets out of their car". plus its too muddy in the car park ATM plus if I turned up at the w gate my son would die of embarrassment. Shazoom/cinders stop it now, before you get your knickers in a twist.

SHAZ00M Wed 06-Mar-13 22:46:50

soup - how am I any different to you on this thread? You went through this in a prior year and so did I. You offered opinions of your current school for your DS, so did I. Not sure why people and indeed you got wound up by me giving my opinions of Life at Whitgift.

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 23:01:11

Shazoom - please drop it now? You've made your point. We all get it. It's not perfect. Please write a letter to the HM. Or whatever. It's enough now.

I am asking really nicely - like Soup said - this thread has already been spoiled. Please go and start another thread for gripes of current parents. As you once started secondary school with rose-tinted glasses and became disillusioned, I would like to be afforded the same priviledge.

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 23:06:49

sorry, privilege.

cheammum Wed 06-Mar-13 23:17:49

SHAZ...I am saddened and wound up, like many others maybe, because it was so nice to log on to a thread for a bit of light relief and humour, at the end of what has been a very difficult process for all of us...but since the rather late postings from yourself and Cinders ..that seems to have now been spoiled.

So maybe we should all just move on...take note of the advice and opinions given...and use this information constructively to help our Ds's thrive in which ever school we feel is the best fit for them!

Good luck to everyone...hope it all goes well..!

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 23:23:22

urgh. I never actually get angry, but this is enough. Shaz and Cinder - yes, we accepted advice as "new parents needing information" and going in "with eyes wide open". It has gone beyond that.
If you have gripes with the school, please raise it with the relevant members of staff. We all fully understand it is not Nirvana. We did not expect it to be, but hopefully we can get over it.
This is an embarassment to all the wonderfully supportive T parents out there - can we please get you back in here?

nothingyummymum Wed 06-Mar-13 23:26:21

thank you, cheammum.

notsooutofseason Thu 07-Mar-13 07:12:10

Wow.... I usually just read threads but after yesterday's posts had to write one of my own. I'm sure many others read threads on mumsnet in order to obtain information so cannot understand why posters who have given an opinion about W (their opinion) are now being asked to stop. (Censorship if you ask me) Yes they must not make it personal as in the case of accusing Burntoutdad but other than that why should they stop.
I for one welcome more current parents of schools giving information about what a particular school is like. Will people be so upset had it been a state school? I wonder. Or is it because the info is coming out too late after decisions/choices have been made.

There are many others who will be looking to send their DC to these schools who will appreciate hearing what the schools are like and no I am not a current parent.

Lets all calm down, at the end of the day if you really believe that W is the school for your DS a few opinions of others should not change your mind or cause any anxiety, think back to why you chose W for your DS in the first place.

FatalFlowerGarden Thu 07-Mar-13 07:36:54

Well, there we are. A million thanks to all the W/T potential parents who started on this journey with me. And to Soupy as well, natch grin

It's a great shame this thread went south. It was enormously supportive, kind and fun - the best sort of Mumsnet thread.

I don't know or care who is or isn't 'genuine'. I'm not suggesting that newer posters didn't have some good points to make, though I'm not convinced some posts were made with the best of intentions but really... meh. Whatever.

Am leaving this thread now. The very best of luck to all the lovely people I've 'met' here. You've made a fab choice for your son (W or T!) and I hope you all have fantastic experiences with your chosen school. And thanks again for all the support you gave me on my rather longer journey!

As for the poster who talked about censorship... seriously? It's very clear from the way this thread has gone that anyone is free to post whatever they like, isn't it? Perhaps you need to join a debating club. I hear they're popular at W and T wink

havinganightmare Thu 07-Mar-13 08:02:39

The thread got hijacked after the event - if they felt this would help to give current parent info then in a constructive way they could've done so BEFORE everyone made their decisions. To do so afterwards was bordering on malicious! There have been many threads started about W (and T) and they've never felt the need to offer this info before - therefore a drop in the ocean amongst the hundreds of W parents - take with a huge dose of salt. Casting aspersions about people who'd been posting in angst over the process was also more than a little unfair (def angst as had PMs from a few including BoD!). No school is perfect and you will all have had issues in the ones from which you come and will without doubt have some at your future schools but what great future schools you've picked. move on and leave the naysayers behind!

pinelodge Thu 07-Mar-13 09:31:52

Been following this thread for a while and thought as its a OPEN FORUM i am entitled to give my opinion as current W parent

Having gone thorough this process last year as a 10+ parent , i have to admit i too was sucked into the school and the (peacocks and capes) !!!!
Ds has had a lot of issues which are still being resolved, the boys arent pushed academically if hes good at sport then the right school but in my opinion its not good enough. at £17k a year i expect more
I have to commend cinders, shaz and kylep for the input given, guys you got sucked up into open evening and speeches. W has let in more than usually as the entrance pass mark has been dropped. YOU made the choice just like us and stop this bullying towards other members who are only giving you information on a OPEN FORUM

nothingyummymum Thu 07-Mar-13 09:53:36

Information - yes.
But rumour, gossip, suspicion? And AFTER we've all made our decisions?

I am really saddened that current W parents with grievances did not share them earlier. We may have made the same decisions, but we would have known what questions to ask at interview, or what to take into account. Or we might even have chosen another school.

Now it's too late.

Well, thank you to all the wonderful and supportive people who have shared their information, angst and humour on here. Good luck to all.

mishareyo Thu 07-Mar-13 11:13:04

wow you guys are an amazing bunch, talk about love/hate relationship. I think you thread veterans are being a bit unfair to Cinder55 and Shazoom, they are merely expressing their opinion. Having a dig at BOD is unceccasry but in fairness Shazoom only did this after a thread veteran had a dig at Kylep. All a bit silly really.

We did sit for W&T this year and also sat for Dulwich and KCS. KCS we did not even get an interview but offered places at all the others. We chose Dulwich, for alot of the reasons outlined. Not sure why all the fuss about not knowing, the issues with Whitgift are and have been well known for years, too big, class sizes, too much emphasis on SPort, not academic enough, flexible pass marks etc etc. If you had asked around or spoken to your DS current Headmaster he would have told you pretty much all of this. He told us Whitgift is very different to Trinity and Dulwich (told us no hope for KCS!) and that he felt DS would do better at Dulwich or Trinity. We live in SW16 so travel not an issue to any of them. We sat them all to have back ups and would have been happy to send DS there if he had not any of the others as state option was not great for us, but it was our back up.

GIven the amount of effort you have put into this process, surely you have all reasearched the schools beyond going to Open Days and know what the real day to day issues are of each school are?

I think that the thread veterans have got caught up in the emotions of admissions, and the comings months will realise that reality of secondary schooling is not easy and paying for it raises the emotions and expectations. I for one am under no illusion that there will be issues for DS at Dulwich and there will be areas that the school does not meet my expectations and hopefully some areas where it will surpass them.

I wish you all the best of luck

JohnnyT Thu 07-Mar-13 11:46:13

I'll add my thoughts here. Wow, you don't look at a thread for a few days and you never know what interesting exchanges emerge! We're sending DS1 to W at 11+ and still happy to do so after all the comments (many interesting and honest.) There is a lot of buyer's remorse with any decision. I was just talking with a current W parent (two DS's) who has nothing to hide and sons are very similar to mine. There still isn't another school that offers a better combination of being demanding on sports and academics while having the type of support my DS needs. For everyone else's DS that might not be true so just a personal opinion. I've heard almost identical comments to pinelodge on Dulwich, KCS, St Paul's (you name it and I've probably heard it) which just proves that not every school is right for everyone. To those starting to regret their decisions I'd say stop beating yourselves up since no matter which program you chose there will be unhappy current parents and DSs (and some very happy ones.) I imagine in two years I'll be on the happy side but the proof will be if in two years you see me on this thread again doing the same with DS2. Forking out another 16k+ does tend to focus the mind...

DivaMum23 Thu 07-Mar-13 14:48:52

Can I suggest W parents go to the school web site, have a look at leavers destinations and subject they are going to study at uni, majority of the leavers off to a Russell Group uni ok so they are
not all going to Oxbridge but not all Eton boys are off to Oxbridge either.

Ladymuck Thu 07-Mar-13 14:57:33

Actually it is more worrying as to where all the other boys not listed end up?! Unless post cull W ends up with 130 odd boys?

DivaMum23 Thu 07-Mar-13 15:00:21

I guess those boys not listed would likely be in the same position which ever school they went

JohnnyT Thu 07-Mar-13 16:48:42

Any interest in having a Whitgift thread for current parents? Not that I wouldn't be curious about T parents too but perhaps a thread specifcally for sharing news and thoughts about W could be a huge help. Of course for all I know it already exists. My DS will be easily identified as the boy with the black hole locker that swallows all books and homework if any are curious! I better sign off in order to actually do some work...

Kylep Thu 07-Mar-13 17:53:59

Amazingly the veterans are silent !!! They were quick to have a dig at me at a few others

ClangerAfterClanger Thu 07-Mar-13 18:59:29

Deep breath. Ok. Have accepted an 11+ place at Whitgift from the waiting list (!) ... Happy! Am considering school bus for first term or so. Or could do local bus (both about 40min journey). Slightly hesitant about local bus as goes via East Croydon and I know it does get extremely busy after school/early evenings. Anyone with any experience? Can't really afford school bus but not sure he'd cope too well with big busy bus straight away.

suz742 Thu 07-Mar-13 19:16:19

That's good news CAC, nice to have some normality back on here.

My son, 10+T will get a few lifts to start with but will then be on the local bus. This will go through East Croydon but as he's already on the bus I don't see it as a problem. The minibuses are pretty pricey vs the free oyster card.

Did a quick trip to Hewitts for research today. Main uniform seems reasonably priced but there is so much sports wise and he will want to be in every team I'm sure. So helpful at Hewitts and got lots of congratulations from the staff, wondered if they said that about every school! Am used to the wonderfully quirky Claddish in Wallington so was pleasantly surprised

primrose55 Thu 07-Mar-13 19:20:36

Here is the correct information of my ds current school.

Pass rate for 10+ w is higher than t
Pass rate for 11+ T is higher than w
And unfortunately, either pass rate is nowhere near 100% although boys did very well this year.  So a big well done to those who passed these exams smile

I believe no schools are perfect. But, both schools( t&w) are fabulous and not much difference to me.  It's their choice.

Good luck to everybody. 

Somelikeithott Thu 07-Mar-13 19:25:21

Clanger, I haven't got experience on the bus front, but is train to south Croydon an option for your DS? I know a lot of boys get the train and walk in large groups to school. Also same in eve. But also depends on the home end of his journey as well I suppose! Hopefully someone else can give you a more useful response.

Kylep, please note I haven't had a dig at anyone else on this thread, my comments about you not being who you claim to be and that you have not been honest on this thread still stand. I notice you haven't denied this.I'm however pleased to see your ' my school is better than yours' posts have ceased, ( IMO, childish), as these were the start of the negativity on here. In future I won't dignify your posts with a response on this thread, if I feel the need to I will PM you, but probably won't even do that either.

The reason I haven't posted, is because I've had no comments, or contributions to make along the lines this thread has gone. I expect most people before making their school choices would've done a lot of research and realised that all schools have parents who are not happy, and their DC's needs not being completely met. For people who may not have done this research, the comments by current parents would be helpful, but more so before the deadline for the decisions. But as someone posted, may be useful for those in years to come. ( if we haven't put them off already!).

Kylep Thu 07-Mar-13 19:38:53

Somelikeithot oh really weren't you quick to point out I didn't comment !!! iMO CHILDISH I don't need to clarify myself to you or anybody else you made your decision not me I don't want a pm or response from YOU

morange Thu 07-Mar-13 19:41:09

Congratulations Clanger - my DS started year 7 in September and we were really worried about the transport. Opted for the school bus and have been very happy with it as they do have heavy bags and kit sometimes and it has taken the worry and hassle factor away, although as you say it is expensive. Loads of boys take public transport though and seem to manage fine. The first term is a shock to the system and very tiring - well it was for us going from short walk and short day at primary school - we all got used to it though pretty quickly. Public transport is doable but not so easy for us so decided to do first term on bus and take it from there and we will definitely continue with the bus for rest of this year and review later. My DS goes to the library and does homework after school before bus leaves if he doesn't have an activity. You can opt for just mornings (or evenings) though as some prefer not to wait til 5.15pm when the buses leave after school. There is also the option of getting ad hoc bus trips and you buy a single ticket - some do this for example when there is a training session after school, usually hockey or rugby on a Thursday in Year 7 and they know they will have more kit that day and finish later. On another note, we are delighted with W. Our DS loves it, has made a lot of nice friends (we have made some too with other parents). He has tried many things he loves, been made to do things he wasn't so keen on but a good experience (eg viola lessons, sing in the choir at a concert). He was top group at primary and seems very average at W academically and is definitely being pushed on that front and the teachers are on his case in a good way. Alot is expected of him and he has had to learn quickly to be organised (this does not come naturally!) and take responsibility. A very positive experience thus far!

ClangerAfterClanger Thu 07-Mar-13 19:54:04

SUZ742 Thanks for responding, yes maybe if there are a few others on same bus it will seem less daunting. Maybe school will give us some info regarding others travelling in same direction later on. Somelikeithot I had a bit of a look at the train routes but not very straightforward from us but actually it might work that he could get off the bus near EC station and walk down with others. I will probably do the after school pick ups in the beginning - especially as it gets dark. Not ready for my redundancy yet!

ClangerAfterClanger Thu 07-Mar-13 20:09:19

morange lovely to hear you have had such a positive experience, yes the musical instrument will definitely be a new challenge to be embraced in this camp! The "single ticket" possibility would be incredibly helpful for days when I need to be at work a little later. Looks like it is all do-able with a bit of knowledge and trial and error - exciting times.

hopetobeobjective Thu 07-Mar-13 22:45:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lfs2126 Thu 07-Mar-13 23:33:55

hi whitgift newbies! another travel option if you need it is to go to waddon rail and then a 119 up the hill. my ds and friends use this a lot!

fondofuk Fri 08-Mar-13 00:16:56

Hi. I think having failing boys sit GCSE at another school is a FRAUD if it is true. But I can't believe how it can be possible. A Whitgift boy suddenly turns into a Croydon college boy only if he sits exam there??? "Entering" exam wouldn't just mean exam location in my common sense. And why would Croydon college allow this??? I asked this to a current teacher at a 6th form college in another part of London, but she has never heard of this kind of thing.

Can just someone pls call whoever high person - HM, head of admissions, etc at W and ask this straight away? Why wait until Open morning?

I don't care about 'too much sports' thing. - they still send some boys to Oxbridge and good London univs (known to outside UK) That's enough to create atmosphere to perform academically.

But I DO believe playing around exam results that accused way IS a serious FRAUD.

hopetobeobjective Fri 08-Mar-13 01:23:54

Actually i think I better say A BIG SORRY to all the W parents. I have reread what I wrote and I think I was out of order to say it has ended up small minded etcetera. This thread has actually settled down and I realize that my comments could be seen as actually stirring it all up again. I just wanted to get some things off my chest about the schools. I think I got carried away with my literary comparisons and wanted to end with a bang. Sorry sorry sorry. We are interested in Whitgift despite my comments because we do like the facilities on offer and our DS1 is not superbright. He loves sport (tennis). God you must all think that I am a deeply confused mum. I think I must be! And we haven't even seen the school yet. If my Hubby read this he would make sure I had nothing to do with choosing DS1's school! This business about Croydon College does need to be sorted. Could an existing parent please call and find out please as suggested???
I am determined to start the W&T thread for 2014. I hope all you lot can come on and tell us good things about the schools. But PLEASE get the school to do something about the promo video!!!
I can confirm that the 119 is a reliable service and popular with W boys. Happy schooling!!!

Zato Fri 08-Mar-13 08:01:48

Morning all,

I spoke to a former teacher yesterday who worked at another T/W competitor and farming of poor GCSE boys was common place to ensure they had a good placing on the league table.

I asked Mr Beck re this years fee increase and if this was a one off or a standard increase. I was told it was one off and usual increase is 3-5%. Asked if I could have that in writing and I just got a chuckle as if it was the most absurd request.

20k in a few years was a big factor in the no decision

FatalFlowerGarden Fri 08-Mar-13 08:44:08

Ohhhh, just couldn't stay away!

Re: the Croydon College thing. When I was at school eons ago, this happened. I distinctly remember a couple of my classmates taking their GCSEs elsewhere, am sure of it. They weren't removed from the school or excluded from any other aspect of school life though. I agree it's not a great thing. But when so much emphasis is placed on league tables you can see why it might happen. I'm not defending the practice in any way but all the talk of 'top tier', 'second tier' etc on this thread alone just proves the point... a certain type of parent will always consider league tables before anything else. And schools, particularly fee-paying schools, are always going to want to present themselves in the best possible light; league tables rightly or wrongly are a huge factor in this.

May I also respectfully suggest that the poster who wanted to start the 2014 thread considers a name change before she does so? It's hardly a secret that these threads are read by the admissions team wink

fondofuk Fri 08-Mar-13 09:33:40

Re GCSE thing again. Can anyone help?

(1) W exam results on website shows 177 sat for English & Math for 2012 results. What is total headcount of year 11 now (or last year)?

(2) Mechanism : Can't still see "sitting exam elsewhere physically" means his scores are not registered under W? Wouldn't this "entering" require identity of "current school"?

Assuming 200 in year 11 (no exact number) and they are all B,C,D..., it will drop thier A*/A ratio from 73.5% to 65%, which is still not a disaster....

Anyway if this is the case with W. I reckon many other schools would be doing the same thing.

And a "normal" question. Around 30 or so boys do IB there. What is the usual difference between IBers and A-levelers? (targeted Univ destination?)

Seeline Fri 08-Mar-13 09:45:00

Clanger My DS started in the Junior form at T in Spetember (even though W is actually much closer to us). Having barely crossed the road by himself previously we too were worried about the travel aspect. I have to say that most mornings/evenings I still act as taxi, but there are occassions when he has used public transport. He takes the train to East Croydon and then one of several buses up to T. In the evening he prefers to take the bus to EC and then walks round the corner to the Fairfield stops to get a bus which stops right outside our house. We practised this several times over the summer, and he has some notes written down which he keeps in his blazer grin The deal is when using public transport is that he lets me know beforehand, and that he keeps his phone on whilst travelling. This has worked fine, and he is happy to do it. The 466 stops just outside EC and takes you straight to W so that would be a definite possibilty for your DS - I am sure lots of the boys would do the same trip.

kimalima Fri 08-Mar-13 10:20:12

Fondofuk I'm actually meeting my friend whose son sat an exam at Croydon College for Dinner on Saturday night. I'll ask if she minds me releasing further details. But I do need to check-in with her first. Although perhaps a W parent will be able to respond before that time.

On another note way (way way) back when I took my O Levels I sat my English Literature exam at Croydon College not my secondary school. The school did not want to enter me as they considered I would fail. In hindsight I had (at that time) not even read most of the required literature. My dad paid for the exam out of his own pocket (rather than my state school paying). I passed and got an A! However, I did pull my socks up and study hard.

fondofuk Fri 08-Mar-13 10:38:37

kimalima Thanks. Sounds like this must be a long-standing practice at indie schools who "want" to stay high on league tables. Another watch point going forward! Anyone will have to ask exact headcount and look at English/Match exam enters!!!

Also shows pupils who are asked to sit outside are not necessairly failing, trouble-making ones! You are the testimony...

kimalima Fri 08-Mar-13 10:50:38

Fondofuk I actually went to a State School (and not a good one either) but if it happened there, all those years ago, you can see why it still happens at the Independents when League Tables in the 'Internet Age' are so much more accessible... gosh I now sound really old - O Levels and the 'Internet Age' grin.

ClangerAfterClanger Fri 08-Mar-13 22:20:09

Thanks Seeline. Your comment re "having barely crossed the road by himself.." struck a chord! DS has bad habit of only looking left.... Will add Green Cross Code to "training" days!

iluvmyboys Sat 09-Mar-13 10:39:35

Just after accepting W offer, I read so many negative comments on the school. Really worried now, if I made a mistake. There is nothing we can do now, but I hope it all works out for the good..

kimalima Sat 09-Mar-13 10:49:18

Don't be worried iluvmyboys it IS a great school. Every child's journey through school life is different. I have many friends whose DS's have attended or still attend W. undoubtedly the school has been great for all.

FatalFlowerGarden Sat 09-Mar-13 10:57:43

iluv - I wouldn't think twice tbh. There's nothing 'revealed' on this thread that doesn't happen in virtually every other school in the country to some degree or other. It would be naive in the extreme to assume that W is immune from occasional bit of disruptive behaviour etc. We're talking about a school of 1000 adolescent boys, after all! It's how the school handles it that counts.

It's not what's been revealed on this thread that bugged me (well, the 'just ring up and get a place' stuff was highly irritating but also preposterous so...) it was the patronising way in which it was done by some posters. Oh, and the implication that my state-educated, bursary-receiving son might be the source of the aforementioned disruption... but I don't want to be accused of stirring it all up again so shall just leave things there grin

burntoutdad Sat 09-Mar-13 14:14:16

Well said Fatal, i think that's how we all felt. Shame really but yes pls don't stir it again. Visited today and still have no doubts, spoke with some mums casually who could not praise it enough and said that the large majority of boys just do not want to leave there. Something else I learnt is that once you are a whitgiftian you are welcome whenever and can go and get advice and information and there is an (unofficial) network of old whitgiftians that will help with anything they can throughout your further studies and career.
Iluv - there aren't that many negative comments here just three or four of the same type of comment, which as ive said before and Fatal and others have said could apply to any school. Taking exams elsewhere also isn't news to me I have heard of this practice (Not necessarily in W but elsewhere) years ago and hadn't really thought about it too much as I would hope that we would be warned enough to take corrective action. I can understand annoyance if anyones DS was actually in that position, but ill worry about that when the time comes. I have heard of parents who's DS is struggling a bit to do all the work and as far as i can tell the school are doing all they can to help and have homework sessions etc to push them in the right direction. you can call form tutors anytime and they will even help on weekends if needed (so ive been told).
By all means listen to the opinions of others but remember here you have read a few bad things and a LOT of good things. Wish some more of the existing parents would comment and im sure if they did positive would outweigh negative.

Sorry couldn't resist another post, visiting the school with Ds and wandering around at leisure set me off on the right track again - it just feels right for my him which is all I care about smile.

Somelikeithott Sat 09-Mar-13 14:49:12

Well said, fatal & burntout.

cheammum Sat 09-Mar-13 15:23:41

Glad you are back on the right track Burntoutdad wink.

albird Sat 09-Mar-13 17:31:17

Well done Burntout - you've forced my hand! My DS is currently in Yr 8 at W. He is really happy and regularly says how much he loves his school. I have found the teaching to be excellent and the teachers very approachable. I am particularly impressed with the twice yearly written reports which clearly demonstrate that they know my son. DS is fairly sporty but not 'elite' and plays at B and C level very happily. The music scheme designed to give every boy the chance to learn an orchestral instrument has been great - my son now plays an instrument in one of the orchestras. - I would never have imagined that!

It is a big school and there are obviously going to be gripes but for us its been brilliant - I know all DS's friends love school - I am sure they are in the majority too. I still go to the school and get a feeling of how lucky DS is to be there.

I was on this thread 2 yrs ago and found it really supportive - have dipped in and out this year.

Hope this adds a bit of balance!

Somelikeithott Sun 10-Mar-13 08:03:15

Albird, thank you for your post. Well done to your DS.

Orchestra, how wonderful. I hear the school is doing a project with the Royal Philarmonic orchestra, what an excellent experience for the boys.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mums on here. Hope you are all being spoilt rotten.

apat Sun 10-Mar-13 10:45:09

This thread has been better then my current novel, if there are any t mums on here my ds will be joining sept and I'm looking into the school mini bus option just wondering what happens if he misses the bus !!! ( knowing my son he will ) do they have checks it may sound like a silly question sorry

mishareyo Sun 10-Mar-13 11:56:01

Oh dear! Burnt your propaganda campaign really has to stop, had no intention of posting again and I'm sure you said the same!! We are all aware that you and your DS love Whitgift will be starting in September and I wish you and him the best of luck and good wishes. The issues raised by the dissenters provide valuable information for people both now and in and future years. Whitgift is a good option but if you have options whethe they are so called "top tier" or a good state option I would want to be well informed rather than looking at everything through rose tinted specs! As said the issues raised are real, this has been confirmed by my sons DS, as well as several poster on here including Mumsnet veterans like LadyMuck and allow people to research further and then make their own decisions. Togethr with your cheerleaders you have shut down the dissenters that dared to question your collective utopian view of Whitgift and impose your views again. This is an open forum and all the information published is of value.

cheammum Sun 10-Mar-13 13:17:43 one has shut down the dissenters of you rightly say "this is an open forum and all information published is of value" regardless of its positive/negative nature ....but when it becomes personal, and is given in such a condescending manner... it ceases to be useful, as it is then based on hidden agenda's and gripes.

Most parents on this thread whether at W/T know that at some point there will be bumps/issues along the way...but it is how you and the school deal with it that is of importance !

burntoutdad Sun 10-Mar-13 14:49:02

mishareyo - We all have opinions and are entitled to express them as you have done. Some positive some negative. I really don't want to get into this again on here, but my opinion is of a positive nature.
In expressing my opinion I have not put down others or expressed a view that W is better than any other school that someone else may have chosen. I have not 'attacked' anyone or said that others opinions do not matter or are of no value.
I have said in fact that I agreed with what the 'dissenters' as you called them have said but expect that the comments and issues would relate to any school.
I am at liberty to post what i want, i used the forum initially to connect with other parents experiencing the same thing as we were going through and further to relate to prospective W /T parents that feel the same way.
So your request for my 'propaganda campaign' to stop is rather contradictory to your statement about this being an open forum.
My 'rose tinted specs' are actually coloured by information mainly from existing parents. We would be stupid to contemplate a commitment like this if we did not value information from everyone. What wasn't kind is the way it was expressed, much the same way as the tone of your post actually.
I merely said that if a few more posters came forward the view would balance.
Don't really think you 'attack' was deserved, came a bit late, repeated countless post before, seems a bit anal - but hey to each to his own!

Croydonmumtods Sun 10-Mar-13 14:56:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

burntoutdad Sun 10-Mar-13 14:56:17

mishareyo - btw I like that, the WCUSC.
(Whitgift Collective Utopian Supporters Club)

mishareyo Sun 10-Mar-13 15:21:17

Burnt: " I requiescet causat meam"

Wakymummumy Sun 10-Mar-13 15:29:31

Mis- I they trying to convince themselves by going back to the school, what would you have done burnt changed your mind !!! I hopefully don't think you are going to take Croydons advice !!!

burntoutdad Sun 10-Mar-13 16:16:01

Wacky - went to buy most of uniform requirements actually, mind was made up ages ago! Is there really a problem with that?

Wakymummumy Sun 10-Mar-13 16:25:00

Not really burnt but in your post it seemed you were trying to justify your decision !!!!

burntoutdad Sun 10-Mar-13 17:05:00

Not at all - so again no justification for your original underhand post. Dont understand you guys at all. Seem to have hit a nerve and thats all you can post! What a joke.

Wakymummumy Sun 10-Mar-13 17:25:30

I'll leave it there because you are totally not making sense re read your post What a Joke if that's not justification i don't know what is !!! What annoys me that you just can't take negative feedback

LIZS Sun 10-Mar-13 17:27:54

confused what an odd turn for this thread to take .

FatalFlowerGarden Sun 10-Mar-13 17:32:17

misha - quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur...

...or knuckle-gnawingly pretentious. Especially when it make no sense. You choose grin

FatalFlowerGarden Sun 10-Mar-13 17:34:02

Have you got a box of those exclamation marks under your bed, waky?

burntoutdad Sun 10-Mar-13 18:38:25

Why should i take negative feedback aimed specifically at me personally, rather than the subject of the thread? Your feedback isnt constructive or informative. What was its purpose other than to have a dig? Cant believe there are grown ups out there with your mentallity!

kimalima Mon 11-Mar-13 09:28:32

Hello all - not much to add to this thread now as I believe all issues have been covered in detail.

So I will now bow out. Thanks and good luck to all... It's been... Err... Emotional. See some of you a T in September. Cheerio

mishareyo Mon 11-Mar-13 09:33:30

Burnt - but why would you be buying uniform when your DS does not start there for another six months? - surely he will grow on that time confused. Have been told by other parents that W dont really start doing uniform until the summer term and then only take provisional orders as boys grow and then you have to revisit after making an appoinment in August to finalise your order. I suspect it is the always glowing reports and slightly perplexing comments (i.e. Uniform now) that confuses people on here. The "unofficial" Whitgift old boys network is a classic example of an over top comment that in reality has no substance behind it. We know you are happy with your choice but let others take a more balanced view.

It's not that hard to work out what size your DS will be in September, what with you having spent the last 10 years or so watching them grow and knowing whether they are average for their age or not.

mishareyoNot entirely sure why you are picking on Burnt. Why shouldn't he be positive about his choice?

cheammum Mon 11-Mar-13 09:59:48

Soup...agree with u...can't quite understand why some posters feel the need to constantly personally attack one individual....he has done nothing's not helpful and quite out of order now!

Kimalima...feel the same way....its been a roller coaster of emotions...Good luck to you and you're Ds at T...Exciting times ahead!

Somelikeithott Mon 11-Mar-13 10:02:42

I believe there was a second hand sale on. I think some people posted last week or so about second hand sales in both T & W.

Nice to know about old Whitgift network . Just as good to know about the negatives as positives.

Seeline Mon 11-Mar-13 10:12:08

T has a second hand sale this coming Saturday (16th) I think it's 8.30 to 11am but it'll be on the web site somewhere!

8:30 - 11:30

Croydonmumtods Mon 11-Mar-13 10:27:46

Whitgift school shop uniform list states 'parents of new boys must schedule an appointment with the school shop by end of April 2013'. Yikes I best get my skates on. The Whitgift secondhand sale was apparently on saturday last 10.30-12 so we've missed that one but believe there is another one after half term in the summer.

burntoutdad Mon 11-Mar-13 10:40:02

Mis - shouldn't really grace you with a reply but you are now posting wrong information to new parents, so here goes.
As hot mentioned there was indeed a second hand sale, I thought I would take a look see if i could get spare pe kit (some advice from mumsnetter on here) and then revisit for next one if i couldn't. For anyone with genuine interest the next sale is in June, but as the pe kit is relatively new there was not any on sale and unlikely to be (or sparse) at next sale either.
Anyway whilst there I noticed the shop was open was went to take a look and ended up buying bags (they need at least 3 - backpack, sports bag, swimming bag) and some other kit.
And this is where your information is wrong -
New parents will be asked to make appointments for fitting around April time (not August as this is when the masses form long queues). The boys have a fitting session (growth taken into account, and MIS- there are not really that many sizes to consider for some kit S,M,L) and uniform is ordered/bought.
If the DS has a spurt in the time between April and Sept (some will) you can take stuff back to exchange (new parents also given longer return periods)
All this info is from the lovely lady in the shop btw not my supposed 'inside knowledge'.
Mis please tell me where this is confusing or 'perplexing' apart from being contrary to what you have heard and maybe I can help you a little?
The 'network' comment came directly from another parent at the school who's DS has benifited from it, before you can say that there is no substance I suggest you do as much research as I have. I have also spoken to a old Whitgiftian (in late 70's) who still attends meetings etc and has told me he is always welcome at the school. Just in case you are still in doubt a simple click of a mouse button will take you to the Old Whitgiftian Association from the school homepage.
Are you trying to 'censor' my posts? do you not want the balanced view that you are so desperate for, some positive some negative?
I would strongly suggest that you speak to your son and his DS and find more out about the school before misguiding others on forums like this, perhaps you haven't explored enough to get the most out of the school or have sent DS with such a negative attitude that the potential opportunities haven't been realised for you.
Not sure what your problem is but I can answer (if I wish) anything you throw at me because ive nothing to hide, im a genuine poster with a positive outlook on life and will post whenever, whatever I like.

Did you remember to ask for your staff discount, Burnt wink

Lfs2126 Mon 11-Mar-13 10:47:47

burnt -you are doing exactly the right thing making your appointment early. Easter probs a bit keen but don't leave it too long into summer would be my advicesmile . the excellent shop staff are well versed in kitting your son out with what he will need ( with the growth factor!) need to remember that as well as the new chaps, there will always be old hands like me popping in for 'top up' bits and bobs, so the appt system is vital when your buying the full kit for the first time. plus the school shop usually shuts for 3 weeks approx in august.

Planning uniform early also applies to T. Either turn up at Hewitts at opening time (which I think is 9am most days) or, when it gets to prime uniform buying time, you can make evening appointments I believe.

If you are buying school shoes from Clarkes near the end of the summer holidays, you can book an appointment online which saves queuing time!

cheammum Mon 11-Mar-13 10:53:29

Croydonmumtods..thanks for that info...remember doing first uniform fitting for my Ds at Nonsuch....had to wait and queue for a tiring 2 hours (fittings were only done on a first come first served basis 1 week in July); didn't realise how much kit there was to buy initially.

Sounds like a good idea to have a uniform fitting on an appointment basis at W..probably saves a lot of time in the long run..and you've then got enough time to get organised before the well earned summer holidays smile.

cheammum Mon 11-Mar-13 10:55:31

typo mistake...mean't to say Dd (daughter) at Nonsuch.

Lfs2126 Mon 11-Mar-13 10:57:33

oh god yes the shoe thing.if circs allow I would buy 2 pairs to rotate if poss. a couple of games of footy on a muddy puntabout(w) and you'll know what I meangrin

cheammum Mon 11-Mar-13 11:14:30

Lfs2126...know exactly what you my case my usually sensible and organised Dd mangaged to lose her coat the first week then her shoes within a month of starting high school...turned up God help me in Sept with my ( shall we put it kindly) somewhat forgetful Ds wink.

frazzledforty Mon 11-Mar-13 11:17:50

Been following the thread - thanks for all the valuable input. DS is starting W in Sept and am a little nervous about practical matters. I think this will apply to any school!

What are you planning to do ito mobiles for your DSs? Am very reluctant to get an 11 yo a phone, but I guess we have little choice? I will initially do the school run, but he'll move to the bus as soon as I know he won't go all the way to Brighton. Which phones work best for their purposes and what kind of contracts/plans are they on? I would like to limit him, but still ensure he has enough minutes to get hold of me in an emergency.

Does any of the old hands have any practical advice on the language choices? DS comes from the state sector and his French is limited to "bonjour" and counting to 20.. will he be very far behind the others if he chose French? I think Spanish is very useful too, as is Mandarin, obviously.. how do you choose?

DSs have pay as you go phones.

In DS1's case, a £7.99 one from the O2 shop because he lost his iPhone (it was my old one so I wasn't overly bothered but wasn't prepared to replace it with anything above £10!) This cheap one does everything he needs it to.

WRT languages, DSs both came from state school with no previous language experience and it hasn't been an issue. I chose Spanish as they go there a lot and they were allocated German as their second language. As I was unsure of their language ability, I didn't go for Mandarin, even though DSs longest serving friend was running a personal campaign to get all his friends to choose it so they'd be in the same class!

suz742 Mon 11-Mar-13 11:33:28

The Whitgift old boys network - my uncle is 75 and attends his class annual reunion dinner and any W plays etc and has a strong relationship with the school. He received a full fees academic scholarship post war
I'm not so keen on the 'old school tie' network. I don't want my T boy to be treated any differently to his state educated siblings who work hard to build careers. The T HM at his open day speech stresses the importance of this and I was very relieved to hear the emphasis on emotional intelligence rather than private school links. The tone of the T letters and the charity work promoted fills me with great hope that supporting others is such an important life lesson,more so than any A* star achieved!

cheammum Mon 11-Mar-13 11:52:48

frazzledforty...not an expert on the best mobile phone contract/plans currently available...but I would say yes..definitely get Ds a standard inexpensive phone before he starts in September... so for your own peace of mind he can at least contact you after school and just confirm his whereabouts etc.

Dd not allowed to be seen with mobile phone at Nonsuch school...if it rings while in a lesson or if seen with it in school building it is confiscated and it then has to be collected by it is advisable that it is either switched off straight away at the start of the school day to prevent any unnecessary trips up to the school.

With regards to language choices, I have been told by admisssion department, that you get a choice of 3 languages, and they try to accommodate your top 2 choices if possible...So like me, my Ds is not great at it might probably be best to put Spanish as one of your priority choices.

There is a wealth of info on the website with regards to rules and policies..but quite a lot to absorb and take in.

So maybe an existing parent could kindly break it down for us gently confused.

Seeline Mon 11-Mar-13 11:58:47

My DS has a basic pay-as-you-go phone which serves its purpose well ATM. He is not into texting mates yet so for texting me when pick up time has changed, or letting me know he is getting the bus etc it is ideal. At T boys have to put phones in their locker for the day until Y3, and have to ask permission if they need to use them during the day which seems to work well.

GetMeOut Mon 11-Mar-13 12:07:43

It makes sense to get all the uniform early because of the many labels to be sewn on/ in/ indelibly marked on every conceivable piece of kit ( plus mufti clothes that they take on the trips in Sept ) smile

Somelikeithott Mon 11-Mar-13 12:07:50

Welcome frazzled and thanks for your mobile phone enquiry, that's one we've been thinking about for a while. Either give DS our old iPhone or get him cheap new one. After reading posts I'm more inclined to do the latter.

Also think we will get it 2 months or so, before he starts, so he can get used to the idea of owning a phone and the novelty has worn off when he starts ( hopefully I'm not being naive). So he doesn't feel the need to flash it around when he is out and about by himself when he starts 'big' school.

I've also heard the boys are sometimes targeted for mugging, hence advice to walk in groups where possible. So will have to have a chat with DS about that one as well.

Cheammum, is that 3 languages in year 6 or 7, or both? Lots to think about eh!

Seeline Mon 11-Mar-13 12:12:18

Definitely recommend getting an evening appointment at Hewitts for T uniform. We went at the beginning of the summer holidays and had a lovely girl serving us on a one-to-one basis. She was very knowledgable about the uniform, made endless trips to the stock room for different sizes to try on, and even stopped us buying a lab coat as the school had their own but hadn't taken it off our kit list. It does take ages to sew on all the name tags - especially the special ones for sports kit which are huge if your DS has a long name smile

I would definitely go with a cheap phone for at least the first year. I've told DS2 that provided he keeps DS1's old phone safe for a year he can have a better one (probably my current iPhone which will then be due for upgrade)

On phone safety tip is that if someone asks them the time, they shouldn't get their phone out to check. Not a problem if they have a cheap phone but it is an easy way for someone to get their hands on something like an iPhone.

burntoutdad Mon 11-Mar-13 12:22:03

Frazzledforty - we have been thinking of phones also. Tesco have a Samsung Ace free for £10.00/mth. No idea if they would use that much? but this gives a cheap smartphone alternative which isn't that desirable to others and gives internet access (can be blocked if necessary) and calendar, schedule etc.

Didn't think of the two pairs of shoes, we've been years with DS walking around with muddy shoes covered in bits of sponge balls.

Lfs2126 - Yes the lady in the shop was very helpful and knowledgeable about all kinds things related to the school. Some tips she gave -

- if blazer sleeves too long (to allow growth) turn sleeve inside out and sew crease in lining at elbow which holds up sleeve and can be let go later.
- All boys have same bag so personalise the bag i.e. keyring etc so it can be spotted easily in a pile. Match keying's to other bags too.
- The little gadget/valuables bags are useful to put, watches, money etc. before sports and hand to teacher to put away safely. Remember outside schools etc sometimes come to use the pool.
- The swimming lockers are small and so the smaller swimming bags are more practical than the large sports bag.

The blazers are quite thick so your DS might not need to wear a jumper under if he is one that hot all the time (like mine).

Label, Label, Label everything!

suz742 - I know what you mean about 'old school tie network' and ive always felt the same to be honest, but it does go on. I was actually referring though to available help and advice resource rather than 'funny handshake and your in old chap' smile

With regards to travel, the W school rules handbook (on website) gives guidance on the walking route to school from the station taking into account busy roads, safer crossings and police patrols.

DivaMum23 Mon 11-Mar-13 12:23:35

Frazzledforty- Gave my son a PAYG which he keeps in the inside pocket of his blazer, he only use it to let me know when matches or after school events are cancelled.

suz742 –both school runs and old boy’s network Trinity is TMWA the “old” was removed when they renamed it couple of years ago there is a link on T website

frazzledforty Mon 11-Mar-13 12:24:13

Thank you everyone!

Really good advice - yes, we'll get cheapest phone option. I was worried there might be peer pressure to get the latest and most expensive BB or iPhone. Am relieved that's not an issue. He's thankfully oblivious to brand names and I'd like his naivete to last a while still.

I was concerned about phone safety and becoming a target too. It's sad that we have to even discuss it, but at least I can prepare DS. Hott - it sounds like a good idea to get phone earlier. It's given me the idea to get it for DS for his 11th birthday (still coming up) so that the novelty can wear off and he can learn to look after it (there's no hopeful smiley, is there?)

Somelikeithott Mon 11-Mar-13 12:26:01

Thanks soupy for that tip. All these practical tips coming out are invaluable. Amazing the things we 'worry' about, and there are simple practical answers for.

frazzledforty Mon 11-Mar-13 12:31:55

Burnt - thanks for the advice on blazer and sleeves.

DS is a midget (oh dear, hope am not outing him) and I fear he may drown in even the smallest sizes. Not sure my sewing will be up to scratch, though, but I guess I can take it to a tailor if needs be?

May I also ask - sorry I'm on a roll - how easy it is to get to know other parents? We don't know anyone at W and while I know that it's very different to primary school, it must be useful to know someone in he same year group to use as a sounding board?

JohnnyT Mon 11-Mar-13 12:32:41

I very much appreciate the way the thread has focused on more practical matters. Certainly I'd hope we can move on now that we've all made our decisions. Let's just say we've all made the right and best decisions based on all the evidence. Yes, some of us do have more DS's to consider in years to come but that can wait at least until the DS that we've focused on gets settled in school. I would still love to know if there's going to be a way of staying in touch with current parents at W (or T for that matter) during the school year? By the way, a few more days of lively exchanges and we'll be back at the 1000 limit!

cheammum Mon 11-Mar-13 12:35:24

hott...according to website (see Academic section/Lower school curriculum) its 2 languages for Yr6 i.e Italian and Latin...and 3 languages in Yr 7 i.e (Spanish or French), (Latin/German) and (Chinese Manadrin or Japanese). many more decisions to make (arghhhh) smile.

burntoutdad Mon 11-Mar-13 12:50:17

JohnnyT - im with you, could always start a new thread nearer the time and alert people to it?

Small phone tip: my phone number is programmed into DSs phones as AAA Mum which means it is the first contact in an alphabetical list.

I think this is why the a nice Frenchman phoned me when he picked up DS2s phone from the ski slopes during half term. [sigh] Of course I was in Croydon, they were there with their father but I was able to get his father to retrieve the phone. smile

Oh, and neither DS has used more than £10 per month of their PAYG credit.

frazzledforty Mon 11-Mar-13 13:04:46

Thank you Soup!

I wonder if it's possible to programme AAA Dad in for problems/emergencies/trouble at school and BBB Mum for everything else?

Croydonmumtods Mon 11-Mar-13 13:14:40

BTW I hear there is a place in Wallington that will embroider DS name on their sports bags which makes them easier to find and less likely to go missing. Will post details when I get them. Also Ive been advised to return the language option form as soon as you can after receiving it otherwise can end up not getting first choices.Would be nice to keep in touch with tips etc and with T parents as well.

Somelikeithott Mon 11-Mar-13 13:15:59

Lol! Frazzled. Now you've given me food for thought.

Frazzled, we have AAA Mum and BBB Dad as they live with me and it's thus my job to deal with them! smile

JohnnyT Mon 11-Mar-13 13:20:45

burnt - good idea on a new thread nearer school time. I'm with you on that.

I'm told that a lot of old fashioned dry cleaner (the ones that do repairs) will sew name tapes on for you (at a cost). The hardest ones for T are the inch name taps on the sports bag and rugby socks.

Ladymuck Mon 11-Mar-13 13:27:56

The Tesco mobile have a capped contract option so ds cannot go over his very generous number of minutes and texts.

There is a huge variety of phones in the first few years (from none through to the very latest £500 model). Just to warn you. There is peer pressure. Sadly for ds I think teaching resilience is valuable.

The Samsung Ace is cheap for a reason. Its internal memory is very very limited, so if your ds likes apps then be wary! photos and music can be stored on an sd card. But I've found the phone so frustrating that ds will get my iphone when his contract finishes. If only because I know how it works!

DivaMum23 Mon 11-Mar-13 13:43:16

Croydonmumtods I used that last year, they are very good but book early

DivaMum23 Mon 11-Mar-13 13:45:06

Croydonmumtods - sorry typo should have read used that company last year they are very good, but need to book early

Ladymuck - another reason for letting him have your old iphone is that you can track him using "find my iphone". Not that I did this with DS1, oh no no no. grin Very useful for planning the timing of dinner!

Lfs2126 Mon 11-Mar-13 14:23:23

croydonmumtods- I think the embroidery firm is nayims embroideries on Stafford road wallington

Croydonmumtods Mon 11-Mar-13 14:28:52

Thanks lfs2126 that's really useful.
Soup - love the I phone finder idea and I do need to upgrade mine....

Croydonmumtods Mon 11-Mar-13 14:32:57

Just checked Nayims website looks good and they do alterations as well - perfect.

burntoutdad Mon 11-Mar-13 14:59:05

The only issue I had thought about with PAYG is the chance of them being out of credit the one time there is an emergency (god forbid!)

racegirl87 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:00:38

With the naming stuff ordeal I have ordered from these people
I've never used them myself but a friends son has them on everything. You basically get named buttons with backs and a small hand-held applicator. You load it and the button clasps (like an earring) to either the lining or a label (or whatever you choose) and can't come off unless removed by the same applicator. Obviously you'll still have to sew on the big name tapes by the sounds of things but everything else will be easytagged in seconds!!!! You have to buy the start up kit but then the buttons aren't extortionate considering the ease of applying them and they are all reusable.
I'm hoping they live up to my expectations as me and sewing are not best of friends and I have experience of my ds losing jumpers and not getting them returned and have heard people just cut the labels out (at his primary school)- this won't help with jumpers but blazers and bags etc might make it back to us.
I'm off to the second hand sale on Saturday to see what I can get as back up for the inevitable "mum..... I can't find my shoes/sock/top/shorts/jumper" (delete as appropriate)
When the tags arrive I'm going to label his current school uniform (as I can reuse them) and I'll let you know how it goes.
Re: Phones. Cheap and cheerful as he has a iPod touch (bought from saved up chore money and Xmas/birthday money) so he has that for all the apps, games, FaceTime etc and he won't be allowed that to school.
Right off into the blizzard!!!!!

Lfs2126 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:22:22

burnt_ this happened to me! I was able to top up his phone up remotely (Orange were very understanding with the lunatic mother-me!)

I think O2 have an "auto top up" option although I don't use it. DSs get a text each time they use any credit that tells them how much they have left. They tend to send me a text with their last remaining pennies and I top up online for them smile

morange Mon 11-Mar-13 15:58:09

Johnny - there is a contact list for Upper First (probably they do the same for Lower First) which is produced by the Whitgift School Association - you can opt in or out of supplying your details. They say "The purpose of the list is simply to help parents and boys to discuss homework, identify others who live nearby to share travel arrangements, develop friendships, and so forth." It has been very useful. Someone posted about meeting other parents - it's obviously very different from primary school on that front but most parents we met pitch side once the squads are sorted, there were a few social events in the first term for parents (quiz etc), also met parents via friends DS has made in his class and he made quite a few on the induction days, school bus, sports teams etc In the week before term starts there were 3 days of induction for new boys - encouraged to attend but not compulsory - bit like the sports course with a variety of activities from golf to orienteering, with library induction, music etc added. Then on the Friday afternoon all the new boys came in dressed in school uniform to meet their form tutor, be shown around, see their classroom/locker, told what to bring to school etc and then there was a tea outside in the quadrangle for all the parents and boys and teachers. So by the time they had their proper first day at school it was not that daunting at all. Not sure if same arrangements this year but remember getting a letter around this time with info on all sorts of things, including info on uniform and booking an appointment for that etc - letter will also come in due course re language choices

morange Mon 11-Mar-13 16:02:41

.... and there was an induction/information evening for parents too (no kids) - can't remember when that was but possibly June time - talk and info from Headmaster and various Lower School staff followed by a glass of wine or two in the garden after..

cheammum Mon 11-Mar-13 16:04:52

Thanks morange..thats exactly the kind of useful and practical information that I've been longing to hear smile.

frazzledforty Mon 11-Mar-13 16:14:29

Yes, thank you all for sharing your wisdom!

I'm a worrier, but I'm beginning to think DS (and I) may just make it through the first term.

racegirl - would be deeply thankful for your feedback on buttons - that does sound perfect.

JohnnyT Mon 11-Mar-13 22:54:42

morange - thanks so much for the info! Will definitely opt in the contact list. Hope to see folks from the thread soon.

fondofuk Mon 11-Mar-13 23:34:58

DS starting year 9 from sep and thinking of swiching from french to spanish. Been in england for just over 2 years and even still picking up english and so his french is at minimal. I know from my experience that spanish is way easier to a non european language speaker. Seems like at W boys start spanish from yr 7 or 8 so still bit worried if he can make it up ready for gcse action in 1 or 2 yr time. Any practical experience on this pls?

frazzledforty Tue 12-Mar-13 11:11:00

fondofuk - it seems nobody has been in a similar position - but the school must have dealt with it before and will be able to give advice. It would make sense to me to do Spanish rather than French in your case, but I'm no expert (as you can see from my own question on languages).

hippychick10 Tue 12-Mar-13 19:54:54

I've been lurking for months with great interest, and decided to register!
I, too, have a ds starting at Whitgift this September in Year 9. He will also be boarding.

We did receive, a few days ago, a letter from W about language choices and creative arts choices.
The only 'new' language the boys can start in Year 9 is Italian. They have to carry on with one language they are already studying (or indeed can carry on with two languages they may be studying). They must study two languages in total in Year 9.

Hope this helps

fondofuk Wed 13-Mar-13 00:09:35

hippy - glad to have another boarder here. I emailed W and they would come back to me soon with advice. they have about 20 year 9 boarders out of about 30 or so new yr 9 joiners. The letter seemed to be too much geared for incumbents though.

hippychick10 Wed 13-Mar-13 09:15:44

My son is doing French and Italian. He is currently doing French and Latin at his prep school, but can't wait to drop Latin!
He hates it!
He's done French for 7 years already, and was hoping to give up that one too.....but no such luck.

frazzledforty Thu 21-Mar-13 11:31:47

Not sure if anyone is still around.. I was wondering if W did indeed have the second entrance exams? This is not meant to stir things up, merely a curiosity.

Should we go ahead and make appointments with the school shop for fittings or do we wait until we get the relevant letter/s?

ClangerAfterClanger Thu 21-Mar-13 20:58:01

I have made my appointment with the school shop - very helpful man, he said appointment spaces were filling up, so maybe give them a call.

Zato Thu 21-Mar-13 21:48:10

Has anyone tried paying 7 years up front ? W and T get money upfront and the parents lock in current fees. Maybe a strange request but just a though


Ringstar Thu 21-Mar-13 22:28:29

Zato yes we did that and have never regretted the decision. Not at w but most schools offer this sort of scheme so worth enquiring if you have some cash set aside. Just knowing you are paid up and just have an incidentals bill each term to cover makes budgeting easier.

Zato Fri 22-Mar-13 07:33:00

Many thanks. Will get on the phone and see what happens. We have been saving since DS was born to fund schooling. Been through some hard patches but we are ready.

FatalFlowerGarden Mon 22-Apr-13 10:59:51

Just been for ds's uniform fitting - eeeep! Not exactly a cheap morning but the look on his face when he put his blazer on was worth it! He still looks soooooo tiny though...

Am so excited (as is ds!). Just having to manage a bout of the green eyed monster from a friend with a son in ds's class. She freely admitted years ago that she wanted W or T for her two dses, but can't afford to send both boys. She is now being vile about my decision to send ds at 10. Sigh. I don't want to lose her friendship over this but am really just feeling, well, rrraaaaagghhhhhh!

Hope everyone else is enjoying the wait!

Croydonmumtods Wed 24-Apr-13 14:45:08

Hi Fatal. Checked for first time in ages to see if any new posts and as I was reading yours letter arrived from Whitgift re arrangements for June meeting and Lake Garda trip. Makes it all real again and hard not to get excited. Our uniform fitting is in 2 weeks. Shame about your friend but probably very little you can do. Must make last months at school very difficult for you and your ds. Try not to let it get to you too much - you have made your decision based on what's best for your child and your friend will either realise this and accept it or she won't.

frazzledforty Wed 24-Apr-13 23:48:50

Uniform fitting in 3 weeks. I fear the smallest sizes may still be too big, but then I can't imagine DS will be the scrawniest, shortest boy to have ever started at W. ALthough it won't surprise me..

The weeks are dragging and it seems the Year 6s in our school are getting rather tetchy with each other. DS and best friend have fallen out, there have been a few nasty comments about schools f(not only W, also the different state schools the others are off to) and I think some of them have already either moved on in their heads, or are going through a tough time getting ready for the change. The parents and even the teachers seem to be affected by this, too! This is not a moan, but I have been pointedly ignored by the uber mums since the results and the attitude towards DS in class has pretty much been to just get on with it without help "as he should know all the work". Bring on September, I say!

hardboiled Thu 25-Apr-13 19:08:25

So sad to hear these stories. Everyone in DS school seems happy and mature about their choices/fate and tolerant with everyone else's. These things really affect children's attitudes toward their future schools.

Fatal, obviously this is not a woman you want for a friend...IMO.

It seems to me the world is full of grown ups who need to grow up!

frazzledforty Mon 10-Jun-13 13:04:40

Is anyone still out there? With SATS done and dusted, uniform sorted (I now think the blazer will be too small by August, let alone stretch to the end of the first year!) it finally feels like we're in the home straight.

Is anyone attending the W sports course? Will the average boys also benefit? DS is going, just hoping it won't scar him for life if everyone else is super talented..

Ladymuck Mon 10-Jun-13 15:17:35

The sports course is a good introduction to a large range of sports (I think they do at least 4 different sports every day, not just the usual team sports). There's a mix of ability. Yes some of the boys may be older and very talented, but unless he is sport-shy and has to be prised from the car <squints at ds2> I suspect that he will enjoy himself.

frazzledforty Tue 11-Jun-13 10:33:20

Thank you, Ladymuck, that is very reassuring. We may need the jaws of life to get him out the car by Day 3 (or a stretcher to get him home), but I'll be very happy if it gets rid of any of the current Year 6 stroppiness.

Ladymuck Tue 11-Jun-13 12:05:06

Well if nothing else it should tire him out! They're fairly full days. And it will give you and him a chance for another nose around the school, and work out where everything is. It's also a way for catching sight of a few familiar faces, and I think gives a balance to the leaving primary school experience: now look at where you'll be going.

The uniform shop will be expecting lots of uniform to be exchanged, so I wouldn't worry about the blazer at all. At least you'll know what size you are after so you can just phone and ask them to put one aside for you. They do of course shoot up in that first year or two. Which was the only way I could cope with the fact that the blazer seemed to get thrown on the ground so regularly.

frazzledforty Thu 13-Jun-13 08:58:11

Of course some of us thought we were really prepared for once and had all the clothes, including blazer, labelled already. Will revert to procrastination. If I get around to it.

FatalFlowerGarden Thu 13-Jun-13 14:40:49

Hello all - haven't let myself look at this thread until today as felt it was tempting fate! Reason is that I was waiting to hear on confirmation of ds's bursary - which I got today, wooohoooo grin Such a relief; after the to-ing and fro-ing of earlier this year I was half-convinced it was all a mistake but no, it's sorted, he's going, it's done! Now I can let myself sew on a few name tapes (and start some serious budgeting too!)

So, is anyone else going to the new parents' evening on the 19th?

FatalFlowerGarden Thu 13-Jun-13 14:42:16

frazzled - I don't think ds is going to be able to attend the sports course as its still in term time for him. Do you think it will make a difference if he doesn't?

frazzledforty Thu 13-Jun-13 14:56:32

Fatal - well done, so happy for you! That's amazing news.

Sports course is also in term time for DS, but the current head has granted him permission to go as "off-site education", which I thought was really a pretty wonderful thing to do. I thought there was no harm in asking as they're hardly doing any work in the last few weeks. We signed up for sports course mainly because we're away when they're doing induction - and as it will be the last family holiday we'll ever be able to afford, we did not want to cancel that.

I'll be the one trying my best to take small ladylike sips at the new parents evening and end up swigging from a bottle. Or such.

LoveandHope Mon 17-Jun-13 05:47:46

Whitgift or Tonbridge ?
Hi I am from overseas and very luckily we have received the full boarding offer (GCSE) from both Whitgift and Tonbridge. My DS is the play-hard and study-hard type. He is targeting to get into a top-top university, and at the same time keen to gain personal development exposure various fronts. We have to make up our mind in the next 2 days. Your kind advice much appreciated. Thank you.

Ladymuck Mon 17-Jun-13 08:30:27

Tonbridge, without a doubt.
More boarders (and it is seen as a boarding school for British pupils, not just a day school which takes in overseas boarders). Both schools have excellent sport facilities but Tonbridge is an academic school which also has good sporting facilities - occasionally Whitgift will stray into sports being dominant. Tonbridge results are better than Whitgift.

Lfs2126 Mon 17-Jun-13 14:17:49

Have you looked at the virtual vids?regret I don't understand lady mucks second reference to Whitgift and sport... I do know that they do really well at all levels in a number of sports , hockey this year has been v good. The boarding house is right next to the sports centre.academically, you can check uni destinations for recent leavers on website to see if fits your sons aspirations. Hope this helpssmile

Ladymuck Mon 17-Jun-13 15:22:28

I think that for some boys at Whitgift the sport is more important than the academics (and in fairness Whitgift will encourage those boys onto professional sporting success). Tonbridge's academic results would usually be better than Whitgift's on almost every measure. Whilst Whitgift has put a lot of investment into its boarding facility it is still fairly unproven. Whitgift is a fine school, but given a choice between these two specific schools, Tonbridge wins.

LoveandHope Mon 17-Jun-13 16:47:11

It's not an easy decision to make. We have visited both schools, met the Headmasters, talked to the teachers and the students. Both have excellent teachers and superb facilities. Our heart is skewed towards one of them, but all the Uni facts / figures are saying that the other one is academically better.

LIZS Mon 17-Jun-13 17:28:52

Whitgift is going to be predominantly day for some time to come whereas there is much more of an established boarding school culture at Tonbridge, even if many go home on a Saturday night. I suspect they will be offering big incentives to get this aspect of the school going. Location wise, Whitgift is better placed for access to London and the more cosmopolitan environment - but is that what you want for a 13yo in UK for first time? We know families happy at either (or in some cases both!) but they are very different.

LoveandHope Mon 17-Jun-13 18:14:57

Thank you all. Can you please advise what is the reputation and standing of the schools - Whitgift and Tonbridge, amongst uk locals ?

LIZS Mon 17-Jun-13 21:48:35

Of the two I'd say Whitgift is probably perceived as sporty/musical and Tonbridge all round and international . If you have the £££ then most would opt for Tonbridge as it is a more traditional public school, OB network etc. I think Whtigift offers IB and A levels in 6th form but Tonbridge takes a more traditional approach with a significant number going to Oxbridge

goinggetstough Mon 17-Jun-13 22:30:04

Tonbridge without a doubt is the more traditional English school with an excellent reputation. My only reservation would be that the fact that although it would appear that there are a decent number of boarders, few of them are full boarders which could be a problem for an overseas family. It is important to ask the school the exact numbers of weekly boarders and full boarders. Another good question to ask is how many boys in year 9 were in last weekend. Schools can sometimes be very cagey about this type of data. So it is worth asking very specific questions.

LoveandHope Tue 18-Jun-13 00:05:35

Thank you.

During our school visit, we were deeply impressed by the 2 W Y9 boys who showed us around. They are well-mannered, humble ( despite they are sports champions and U14/16 national reps), proactive, smart and intelligent.

The T boys are also very polite, and more intellectual.

If we take W, my DS will be in a more cosmopolitan, varied and dynamic environment, and have a 12% Oxbridge chance. New boarding house with very modern facilities.

If T, more traditional study environment, excellent school reputation, older boarding house facilities, 29% Oxbridge. Higher school feess.

Need to make final decision soon.........

Lfs2126 Tue 18-Jun-13 11:00:17

Hi L&H, good luck with your tricky decision today, let us know what you decided in the end!

Ladymuck Tue 18-Jun-13 11:26:16

I certainly wouldn't read the Oxbridge figures that way. At best they tell you what percentage of an average cohort is Oxbridge material. If your son is bright and motivated, then the figures you really need are the proportion of pupils applying to Oxbridge v those who get in (and as you get closer to that age, looking closely at success rates in the particular subjects). I would expect both schools to have a better than 50% success rate for those who do apply. But I would expect almost half of the boys at Tonbridge to apply for Oxbridge, with less than a quarter applying at Whitgift. The Whitgift intake has increased significantly over the last few years (up to 200 boys per year), and therefore the proportion of Oxbridge places in future may vary. I would also note that often Oxbridge isn't always the preferred destination of those who want to practice medicine (where London universities are often preferred), and the courses tend to favour those who want to go into medical research rather than practice (huge generalisation - but given this is a London school, there are many applicants who don't even waste an university application on Oxbridge as they favour the London colleges instead).

There is often some movement between schools at 6th form level, so don't assume that this gives you a true reflection of progress between 13-18 at either school. And don't be afraid to review your decision at this point in time either, especially if your son has a clearer idea of what he wants to study.

If you visited the schools on a non-open day then I'm afraid that the tour guides at each school will have been selected, with care. That is not to say that your guides were the only presentable boys in the school that day - far from it! But the schools know how to do a good sales pitch.

If I were in your shoes, I would want as much information about my son's cohort as possible. How big are the year groups? Where is my son placed academically within that year group (whether someone is in the top third or the bottom third can impact their self-confidence - asking which maths set he will be placed in will give you some good info))? What are the boys in the boarding house like, and what are their standards in terms of academics (eg at DS1's school the boarders have a higher GCSE results targets than the day pupils).

LIZS Tue 18-Jun-13 15:47:54

Agree with LM . Do you consider your ds to be Oxbridge material , would the schools concur ? Published results are not the be all and end all , you need to probe deeper. How do they achieve them with settings , options, early exam entry and so on. Will your ds' motivation match especially given that you won't be there to over see day-to-day. Does your ds favour IB ? A more significant number of pupils at W will have been in the state primary system and majority will have started age 10/11. At T he'd be among a peer group who have only been there a year.

P0M1 Wed 19-Jun-13 17:54:04

Interested to read your thread. My ds is currently at Whitgift in Year 11. He was meant to be going to Tonbridge the deposit was paid but we felt his prep school wasn't doing the job so he did the exam and went in the Summer term of Year 7. Both schools are very different he has friends from his prep school at both. He is not sporty, relatively bright and makes the most of what the school has to offer particularly CCF and is going to do his Gold DoE. I think in terms of life experience W is probably better in terms social spread although T is a fantastic traditional public school. We went to T at the weekend for dd's choir recital and although quite a few kids from the surrounding area board quite a few come from the Far East. It would be interesting to find out what the proportion is. I think you should go with your gut instinct, from my point of view I don't think that it's all down to the academics as everything is so competitive it's about the all-round picture. I think ds has approximately 24 in his year group and there are two parallel sets with six sets, he's in the second set and currently doing 11 mainly IGCSEs and predicted to get main A*s and As. I know that at Tonbridge you need higher marks to get a day play rather than a boarding. A few years ago a parent was only offered a boarding place for her son in spite of the fact that her elder son was a day pupil, she turned it down and went elsewhere, she was also going to send her third son there so they lost out on that too!

P0M1 Wed 19-Jun-13 18:00:39

Tell a lie, 24 in his form, approximately 220 in year but they are whittle it down after GCSE's. I think it's 24 points to stay on and you get A* - 4, A - 3, B - 2. From what I've heard the sixth form is around 160.

FatalFlowerGarden Wed 19-Jun-13 23:21:01

Now... I'm pretty sure I was sitting in front of an MNer at the new parents' talk this not going to out her though! But if any of you were sitting behind a woman with short dark hair and a black top, on her own, well...that was me grin

LoveandHope Thu 20-Jun-13 05:26:37

Whole-hearted thanks for the very generous, frank and kind advice given to me. I think I have the decision now. Will check on 2 more things and then confirm our decision today.

Very Many thanks again.

SugarHoney Thu 20-Jun-13 11:54:49

I am an overseas mom and my son will join Whitgift this summer as a full boarder. As we were not able to join the parents' meeting last night, any comments and pointers to share please. Many thanks.

SoupDragon Thu 20-Jun-13 12:13:31

I don't think ds is going to be able to attend the sports course as its still in term time for him. Do you think it will make a difference if he doesn't?

Both DSs attended one day of the Trinity sports course, in term time. Their headmistress authorised the absence as the children going to state schools have a day's induction whereas DSs wouldn't get this. It's worth checking with your head to see what they say.

They had a fab time but I don't think they would have lost anything by not going.

Somelikeithott Fri 21-Jun-13 12:42:54

Fatal flower, so glad to hear your news. I haven't been on here for ages, but thought surely there must be some activity again now after the new parents' evening on Wednesday. Wasn't the head of music really entertaining? I can't remember you sat in front of me, what makes you think they are MN's netter? I did wonder about people around me as well. Lol!

It feels real again now, DS finally had his uniform fitting, so he is excited again, wants to try them on this weekend again!!!!!

Next Monday, to go now, Lake Garda group should be a lot smaller, since year 6 only.

Loveandhope, have you made a decision yet? All the best, I'm sure your DS will do well wherever you choose, it is always a tough one. We agonised over trinity, whitgift & DS staying in his current school. A work colleague has Dtwins at Tonbridge now and they absolutely love it. As she lives near Croydon ( more to the south), she hopes they can flexi board as they advance through the school. But currently they are day students.

Somelikeithott Fri 21-Jun-13 13:34:57

That was meant to say I can't remember 'who' ( not 'you'), sat in front of me..... Silly predictive text!!!!!

FatalFlowerGarden Fri 21-Jun-13 18:09:53

Thanks Soup; I checked with ds's head and he was happy to give permission for two days, and said he hoped ds had a wonderful experience. Which was nice smile.

Does anyone think it would cause a problem if ds came with me on Monday for the Lake Garda meeting? I am a bit stuck for childcare (and ds is desperate to come!) The letter says boys are 'not required' to attend, which isn't quite the same as 'not permitted'...

Somelikeithott Fri 21-Jun-13 18:47:09

Maybe phone and ask, fatalflower. I can't imagine it would be a problem though. There were a couple of boys at the parents' information evening on Wednesday.

frazzledforty Mon 24-Jun-13 10:04:36

SugarHoney - apologies for not replying earlier!
Not sure what the others thought of the new parents meeting, but I'm very confident we made the right decision. Yes, the sheer size of the intake is slightly daunting, especially if you come from a very small school. But we met a few lovely new parents (I fished, but don't think I met any MNetters - I'm sure I would have recognised them by their elegant attire and sparkling wit!)

Of course there may be some old hands who would love at my naivety, but I'm really impressed with the school's approach and from what they said I believe that all boys, regardless of their strengths, will find get the chance to shine if they are willing to give it a bash. There was, for example, great emphasis on the fact that the boys who run out for the F team are appreciated as much as the ones who win national colours. I like that.

I also liked that they acknowledge that all boys can't be good at everything - and that they will get extra help if they struggle with a subject.

Their approach to discipline was also reassuring. Whether it's always that easy in reality is obviously a different story, but it sounded logical and supportive, but tough if necessary.

Hope that helps!

SugarHoney Mon 24-Jun-13 14:23:42

No apologies friaries forty. Thank you for your reply. As we are far away, any comments from you helped as we couldn't attend. Glad to know that you are impressed.

Did anyone talk about the boarding house? Thanks

SugarHoney Mon 24-Jun-13 14:58:01

Sorry frazzledforty, I meant to address you but predictive text went ahead of me. Thanks for your comments.

FatalFlowerGarden Mon 24-Jun-13 16:24:30

I agree, frazzled. In fact, it seemed to me that a real effort was being made to dispel the feeling that it is only the best of the best sportsmen who thrive at W. I think they're conscious of this and that maybe it is a bit off putting for some parents/boys. Hopefully it bodes well for my future D-team ds, bless him grin

hott' sorry, it seemed as if I was ignoring your post! Agree that the head of music came over very well. I really enjoyed the evening and it will be interesting to hear what's said tonight. I'm bringing ds with me tonight... He has been begging to go back to the school so how could I refuse?!

burntoutdad Tue 25-Jun-13 06:41:26

Hi all thought id check back to see if any activity here. Enjoyed the parents evening, very informative. Liked the advice about removing pre conceptions from the boys ( im a footballer/ cricketer; actor; non acedemic; brainbox etc) and going in as a blank canvas willing to try anything and everything. Prospect of science biodome being built is mind blowing! And new drama facilities planned t