Oh! Oh! My firstborn starts secondary school in September. Surely that warrants a support thread?

(644 Posts)
Cadelaide Fri 19-Mar-10 13:45:22

Am I a bit too early for this?

I mean it's months away yet, isn't it?

Spillage21 Fri 19-Mar-10 13:51:58

My PFB DS starts secondary school in September too (sob, he still looks so little when I see him walking down the road), but on top of that he was reported (by dds friends in year 2) as kissing a girl...

...double blow to heart...

LoveMyGirls Fri 19-Mar-10 13:54:59

I'm the same, I'm far too young to be the mother of a child at secondary school! grin

upahill Fri 19-Mar-10 13:56:23

Oh no Cadelaid. I know excatly how you feel. My DS1 is year 9 at the moment but just before he started year 7 I took him to get his uniform. He came out of the dressing
room tucking his shirt into his trousers saying 'how do I look mum?' The answer was tthat he looked so grown up. I cried (honestly!) Two and half years later (he is 13 1/2 now he is 5ft 8 towers over me.
I've got to got through it all over again nxt year!!

Cadelaide Fri 19-Mar-10 13:56:59

Oh, I am not alone.

I'm finding it really rather difficult.

He, I'm pleased to say, is absolutely fine about it!

Cadelaide Fri 19-Mar-10 14:00:06

It's quite a big letting-go, isn't it?

No more walking to school (he chooses to walk with his younger siblings and myself, he has the option to go alone). No more rummaging in his school bag to make sure he's remembered everything. No more book-day dressing up.

bruffin Fri 19-Mar-10 14:26:22

I have a yr7 and yr9 and we still have dressing up days! DD yr7 went as Esme from Twilight to World Book Day last week. Then there was Pinky Purple Day and Silly Hat day.

It does go so fast once they start. DS is choosing his option and at his pathway interview yesterday got asked what job he wanted to do when he leaves schoolshock

bebumba Fri 19-Mar-10 14:59:03

Oh no!! My Ds atarts secondary school in September I don't wont to be thinking about career/job in two years time. Stop the ride I want to get off!!

bebumba Fri 19-Mar-10 14:59:24

Starts not atarts!!

upahill Fri 19-Mar-10 15:18:49

What do you mean no more rumaging in their school bag making susre they haven't forgoten anything!!!!
It get's worse I swear.

Have you got your dance kit?
Have you got your apron?
Have you got your P E kit
Have you got your homework diary?
Have you got your lunch?
Have you got your tie?
Have you got your bus pass
Have you got your homework?

etc etc

I have had texts that go like this ' MUM!! I'm on the bus I've left my bag at the bus stop!Help.

Cadelaide Fri 19-Mar-10 16:35:25

thanks upahill grin

mumblechum Fri 19-Mar-10 18:24:24

DS is in yr 10 and last week I had to go to the school to drop stuff off for him THREE TIMES.

When do they start to grow a brain??

Kbear Fri 19-Mar-10 18:36:38

My DD starts secondary in September too!

Summer's gonna fly by and before we know it we will be on here panicking about their first day..... and they will wander home and it will all be fine and we will be panicking for nothing.

GrimmaTheNome Fri 19-Mar-10 18:40:57

Me too - my one and only DD - only one term plus a week left of primary school. Dunno about her, but I'll miss it. Once she's at secondary (a busride away) there'll be no playground Ma-fia any more, will there?

Cadelaide Fri 19-Mar-10 18:45:17

No Grimma. Although I have younger DCs it's the beginning of the end of an era. My youngest is starting Infant's school this September too.

BigTillyMint Fri 19-Mar-10 18:50:07

grin upahill

After all the panicking whilst waiting to see which school we'd been allocated, it all seems very close.

DD seems to be losing her memory already. She used to be so organised. Is it the hormones?

bruffin Fri 19-Mar-10 19:49:01

Just a warning to mothers of boys, they discover Linx in yr7grin

upahill Fri 19-Mar-10 19:57:42

BigTilly what your DD has is commonly known as'selective memory' I find it very common in teenagers, both my own and the ones I work with. For example they could tell you who is the fittest lad in the year but they have no idea where a consent form handed out in a previous session is. They know all the songs from Glee but can't remember how their lessons went.

Another common ailment is the 'Dunno shrug' This means you ask them a question and they can't be bothered answering so they stare at you vacantly shug their shoulders with as little enthusiam as they can muster and say something along the lines of ' dunno'

There are plenty more of these common complaints but I don't want to scare you too much!!! grin

upahill Fri 19-Mar-10 19:58:56

Bruffin DON'T get me started on Lynx. That warrants a thread of it's own!!

jenduff Fri 19-Mar-10 20:02:29

<<joins the mild panic>>

DS has been wearing lynx for ages grin

MumInBeds Fri 19-Mar-10 20:26:45

I'm in the same boat. My ds is an August baby and still very sweet and easily led and the school he is going to is huge and scary (to me anyway - he seems fine about it).

GrimmaTheNome Fri 19-Mar-10 20:33:45

DD got DH to print out her new school's prospectus yesterday and was solemnly reading the uniform list. And here's me not yet got her (sob) last set of summer frocks to be worn with white ankle socks.

bruffin Fri 19-Mar-10 20:44:08

I couldn't get DD a school dress to fit last summer Grimma! Most of them stop at age 11 and she was over 5 foot by then. I found one in m&s but she wouldn't wear it. Her trousers were about an inch too short, she looked like a real ragamuffin for the whole of the last term as I was reluctant to buy new uniform for just a few weeks wear.

At DC's school only the girls wear the jumpers. I made the mistake of buying DS a jumper as it was listed on the uniform list for boys, it is still hanging in the wardrobe never worn. Don't know why the boys won't wear them as they do in other schools locally.

cat64 Fri 19-Mar-10 20:53:21

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AnnaSergeyevna Fri 19-Mar-10 21:12:18

Cat64 - what are the top ten most FAQs?!

roisin Fri 19-Mar-10 22:18:05

ds2 is starting yr7 in September. But I have ds1 at the same school (currently yr8), so mostly we know the ropes.

herbietea Fri 19-Mar-10 22:30:18

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PixieOnaLeaf Fri 19-Mar-10 22:35:56

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Cadelaide Fri 19-Mar-10 22:48:10

It all seems to accelerate from here on, doesn't it?

snorkie Sat 20-Mar-10 00:02:31

It really does Cadelaide. My eldest is starting sixth form in September <faints>.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Sat 20-Mar-10 00:05:20

We recieved a list for the rugby kit last week, I'm still recovering. He seems too small to go to secondary school. sad

Cadelaide Sat 20-Mar-10 08:19:27

rugby kit?

But rugby will kill him! wink

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Sat 20-Mar-10 10:08:13

I know!! (sob). They do have different groups for different abilities though so he'll be with the other little pfb softies.

Cadelaide Sat 20-Mar-10 10:16:36


upahill Sat 20-Mar-10 12:07:54

Once they go to secondary school boys start to SMELL!! Honestly it's a weird smell. No matter how long DS stays in the shower with his bottle of Orginal Sauce shower gel ( i bottle per shower!!) he still has that teenage boy smell. They're in a funny place - not quite children but not quite adults!!
Then there is spots. Blimey my DS has had some corkers. Good job he takes them with food humour.

Then there are boundaries to be agreed. It's a massive deal letting him get the train to a DIFFERENT town to meet his mates. I'm worried whether I'm being over cautious or too leneint.AND how much money is the right money to give them?

And there's more...............but I' sure if I carry on those with DC who have yet to go to secondary school will be curled up sobbing by now!

cat64 Sat 20-Mar-10 12:33:44

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roisin Sat 20-Mar-10 16:09:18

With ds1 the answer to the dinner money conundrum was I give him less money than he said all his friends were getting (he gets £2.40 per day) but told him he was allowed to keep any money he saved over the week.

He hasn't starved and has managed to 'save' quite a bit too!

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Sat 20-Mar-10 19:02:09

I did a thread about how much dinner money, the average was £3.00 grin Look on their web site for school uniform, they should send you a list of stuff to get, most of it they will never use going by past experiences. They invite fresh blood new children into the school so they can get use to the layout.

There's a teenage boy living next door to me if anyone wants one, likes to listen to techno crap!

BigTillyMint Sat 20-Mar-10 19:19:05

DD is one of the youngest and smallest in Y6. No worries about her growing our of her current uniform - I am just praying she grows a bit before September 2nd!

roisin Sat 20-Mar-10 21:43:34

At our school they get £1.70 credit for a 'free school meal', so the canteen have to get a basic full main meal in for that price. So they should be fine on £2 IMO. Generally the ££ goes on buying drinks instead of drinking water, bacon butties at breaktime and cakes/puddings.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Sat 20-Mar-10 21:48:34

I'm tempted to start a meet up thread so he (with me) can meet other boys starting his new school so there's a couple of friendly faces.

Mimiso Sun 21-Mar-10 08:15:37

upahill you are too funny. My DS's latest round of forgetfulness involved forgetting his coat at home and then saying oh mum I've forgotten my coat at home so he had to wear my coat the whole day. Needless to say he hasnt forgotten his coat again. Honestly I despair; I wonder how he will cope in a big scary secondary school as he is such a baby..... Oldest in year 6 as he is an October baby but highly immature.

He has broached the subject of Lynx and I just put my foot down on it. I will buy him real cologne.... Not being a snob or anything but Lynx brings out all my allergies and I start sneezing everywhere

Upahill I teach in a college and when I walk in class and there are only boys in there, the smell is enough to make me want to gag. What is it with that smell, its like an unwashed, lynxy, dog smell all mixed up. YUCK

My DS's school do a cashless card system for lunch so will just have to top that up every week for school dinners and give him about £10 a week pocket money.

BigTillyMint Sun 21-Mar-10 09:18:15

That's useful to know - £2 per day for lunch. I think they have a fob system at the school DD is going to, which they can use for a locker too. Fingers crossed she doesn't lose it!

upahill Sun 21-Mar-10 09:52:39

One small thing that I have found helpful to my relationship although I appreciate it isn't easy is to try and find time just for DS1 and Ds2 seperatly.
It started by chance when Ds1 and I had to go into town for something for him and on the spur of the moment I said come on let's go for a meal. I let him order and deal with the waiter (Oh God, he seemed so grown up putting my order in and making sure I got everything and pouring my wine).
It started off like sullen teenagers do, you know a bit quite, everytime I asked something all I got was 'Dunno. I am saying boring stuff where you can imagine him wanting to roll his eyes....... How was school? lessons good?

Anyway he starts coming all animated and telling me about funny things on facebook, stuff he wants to show me on youtube, things about school.We had a right giggle Absoulte revelation that I wouldn't have found out about if we hadn't done that.

I do something similar with DS2 and listen to stories about Puffles and all the hot news from Club Penguin. But you get my drift.

Me adn Ds1 are going biking for a couple of hours this morning before he goes to meet his mates.

BigTillyMint Sun 21-Mar-10 10:05:56

That sounds great upahillsmile

I always find my DC more willing to chat personally when we are on our own doing something nice. Only problem is, then I can't shut them up grin

hippipotamiHasLost80lbs Sun 21-Mar-10 20:52:54

Can I join? My first born (August baby) ds starts secondary this September too. And it is a huge (1600 pupils) secondary. And I am terrified! [wibble]

Have not yet read whole thread - will do so tomorrow after work - but just wanted to mark my place.

Mucho support needed I think!

Cadelaide Mon 22-Mar-10 14:31:23

Hi hippipo, DS will be going to a huge school too.

The pupils walk past my house twice a day and they look enormous! grin

cat64 Mon 22-Mar-10 17:00:53

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GrimmaTheNome Mon 22-Mar-10 18:55:18

My DD is starting to worry that she'll be the shortest in her school - only two other girls from her primary are going to her secondary; one is very tall, the other used to be a tad smaller but has sneakily gone and shot up. DD may just be big enough to legally not use a booster seat by the time she starts.

However, to those of you wimping being naturally concerned about your lads rugby kit, DD's been doing it since she was in Y3. grin (ok, so only tag rugby)

bruffin Tue 23-Mar-10 08:09:54

Both mine were one of the tallest when they started secondary infact they were both as tall as me, so I never had a little one starting, they just looked so ready!

We don't have a rugby kit at DCs school and they have quite a bit of choice in what sport they do in PE. DD yr7 is doing golf next term.

DSyr 9 is doing rugby for the first time and it's mixed. He said it wasn't fair because he didn't feel he could tackle a girl (He is 5'11), but found running at them yelling at the top of his voice very effective as they just put the ball down and run.

deaddei Tue 23-Mar-10 08:50:12

My ds goes in September too- he looks so little1 Big sister is year 8, and is filling him with horror stories (even though they're different schools)
As part of my job I speak to lots of yr 6's about going to secondary school, so who knows- i may be reassuring some of yours!!

gingertoo Tue 23-Mar-10 10:40:07

Hello! My eldest starts secondary school in September too confused

He seems totally unfazed by the idea. He's the eldest in his primary school and almost seems to have 'outgrown' it so I think he's ready!

That doesn't mean that I'm ready though! I'm already stressing about several things:

uniform Finding the balance between following the uniform list without looking like a geek (What shoes do secondary boys wear???)
Going on the bus Big thing for me. We live in a village and have a drive of about 6 miles to school at the mo so I have always taken him. The thought of him going on the bus makes me wibble (How do you know they've got there blush)
Money There is a card to top up for lunches and I'm thinking of £10 per week but does he need a bit of money in his pocket too?

As well as DS1 at secondary, I'll have DS2 at primary, DS3 at pre-school and DC4 due in November so I'll be busy!! (Never thought I'd be on a 'Starting Secondary thread' and an 'Antenatal thread' at the same time grin)

Cadelaide Tue 23-Mar-10 10:42:09

Hi gingertoo, we'll be similarly busy then. I'll have DC2 at junior school and DC3 starting reception with all the fiddly hours that entails.

Not pregnant though! smile

Cadelaide Tue 23-Mar-10 10:42:49

bruffin, funny rugby story! grin

gingertoo Tue 23-Mar-10 11:11:20

Cadelaide - co-ordinating the drop offs / pick ups is going to stretch my organisational skills to the limit!

I suppose DS1 getting himself to school on the bus will help really - I suppose I'll get used to the idea eventually. I keep asking him 'Are you sure that you don't want me to take you to school for the first term?' All I get is a 'No Mum - I'll be fine' in reply...

Ought to let him get on with it really blush

SugarTits Tue 23-Mar-10 11:24:02

Can I join in? My pfb starts in September too - first I worried that she wouldn't get in as it's a very academic grammar school. Now I'm worried that she won't keep up and will have way too much homework I guess there'll always be something to worry about. Not to mention that her friend who is also going says that it cost her parents £500 to get the uniform for her older sister. £500 !!! that's bonkers.

BigTillyMint Tue 23-Mar-10 12:09:13

grimma, my DD is similarly short (and worried it makes her look younger)- takes after her nanny and grandma, bizarrely as I am tall. Though maybe she'll have a growth spurt?

I hope I can to get her a blazer that fits, not one she is going to grow into as I do't want her to look like Tiny Tim!

GrimmaTheNome Tue 23-Mar-10 12:27:20

My DDs school uniform doesn't include a blazer, which is a pity. I don't know how she'll ever manage to keep track of bus pass, lunch money/card (don't know what system they use), mobile phone, memory stick etc without pockets.

She doesn't have - or want - a mobile phone yet but she's going to have to have one as there is quite a long bus ride and the stop is not near enough for her to walk so we'll need to be able to coordinate picking her up in the afternoon. (the school does allow them to have phones so long as they are always turned off within the school, which is sensible. Lots of the girls are coming in from the surrounding area on buses)

BigTillyMint Tue 23-Mar-10 12:37:33

I don't know if DD's school allow mobiles, but she will have one - I'm getting one very soon as she's starting to come home on her own now. I think most of her friends have either got one or will have one by the summer holidays.

Quink Tue 23-Mar-10 12:40:33

Can I join too, please? My PFB DS1 is off to secondary in September. Will have to go by school bus (it's 15 miles!), and it's a big school, about 1500 pupils: that's 10 times the size of his primary!

I'm dreading it, though trying to be casual and cheery. He's not really looking forward to it. He's tall at least, but is a bit doubtful about the whole thing. He wants to stay at Primary! There are a couple of taster days next term though, so I hope it fires some enthusiasm.

BigTillyMint Tue 23-Mar-10 12:45:04

Quink, DD was not looking forward to it until she got her offer of a place. Now she is really excited.

It takes DD a bit of time to get her head round big changes, but then she's usually fine.
I'm sure he will get fired up by the taster days, and he will meet the other new children and teachers so he will have some idea of what it will be like.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 23-Mar-10 12:54:27

the other day, DD was alternating between "I'm so excited at going to <secondary school> .... but I'm sorry I'm leaving <junior school> ... but I'm so excited I'll be going to <secondary school>"

which I guess is how it should be!

It does help that she's got a good friend going too - will be on the same bus (~25 miles!).

BigTillyMint Tue 23-Mar-10 13:34:34

25 miles! That's quite a way. How long will it take her?

We decided against one school which is probably less than 3 miles away as it would take ate least 45mins on the bus and she would have to leave at 7.15 to be sure of getting there in time. (DD struggles to get out of bed by 7.30 now, though I still remember the days when she was up and ready for fun at 6!)

GrimmaTheNome Tue 23-Mar-10 13:50:32

45 minutes there, 35 mins back. Its mostly a decent rural A road. She'll need to be out the door 7:30, which is daunting, but she's absolutely determined this is the school she wants to go, and realises she (and me and DH!) will have to shift our days a bit.

SugarTits Tue 23-Mar-10 13:56:31

Hmm I worry about the bus journey too, luckily some of dd's friends are going to the same school so she won't be alone. Am tempted to take her myself, but not sure how that might affect her street cred. I just dread my little girl turning into a teen.

deaddei Tue 23-Mar-10 14:28:10

We were told by the head of dd's secondary school NOT to take them to school, especially on the first day. There is a fairly small catchment area, so most girls walk or come on the bus.
They would die of shame if mum popped up on the first day. However, when it's cold and wet and they've been doing a club, it's amazing how that changes!!!
Sugartits- a friends uberselective grammar uniform cost £500 sad

GrimmaTheNome Tue 23-Mar-10 14:36:01

I'm sure DD would be outraged if she didn't arrive on the first day on the bus.

Which is pretty weird since at this point she's never been as far as the village shop by herself. She will have to start doing that soon, and as there's a public bus which runs in parallel with the school bus we can do a dry run or two beforehand.

DDs school is a selective grammar, but they have deliberately kept the uniform fairly simple to keep down the cost.

deaddei Tue 23-Mar-10 14:44:02

My ds has been making trips into the local town on the bus with his sister, and has already arranged where he and his friends will meet to get the bus in the morning.
He also smells and has attitude, so I think he is ready for year 7!

gingertoo Tue 23-Mar-10 14:50:55

DS1 won't even let me walk down to the bus stop with him on the first day.
Although, I have a plan!
There is lovely local girl who will be going into the 6th form of DS1's new school in Sept so I'm going to mention to her that it's DS1's first day and get her to give him a prod if he looks like he's not getting on the bus!
DS1 need not know grin

Quink Tue 23-Mar-10 14:51:14

Thanks BigTillyMint! I had hoped he'd be a bit keener than he is, but at least he's calm about it, if a bit thoughtful! He's counting down the time left: one term and a bit to go. All his friends are going to the same school and some of them have siblings there already so it shouldn't be so scary, I just don't think he feels ready.

He is however a bit smelly, and a bit stroppy and sulky and answers back, so maybe he's readier than I think! (I pre-empted Lynx by making sure he had Botanics for Christmas - let's hope it lasts.)

gingertoo Tue 23-Mar-10 14:52:31

Good idea about trial runs / getting used to using public transport...

BigTillyMint Tue 23-Mar-10 15:57:06

DD has asked me if I will go with her on the first day blush

I said of course I would, but have my fingers crossed that she will have changed her mind by then!

She can get a school bus with friends from her primary school, so I'm sure she'll be fine when the time comes!

cat64 Tue 23-Mar-10 17:38:35

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FrogPrincess Tue 23-Mar-10 18:33:47

Hi everyone, my dd is starting Y7 in September too....

I used to go on MN quite a bit but haven't been on much for the past couple of years. Funnily enough, I'm guessing I will probably be on the Y7 threads regularly from now on wink.

Dd will be leaving her idyllic, small, girls indie for a mixed school (ex private, choir school where she'll be a music scholar). Most of her friends are going to her current school's senior school, and as far as I know none of them are going to the same school as her. She does know 2 or 3 children from her drama group going there though. It is both exciting and nerve wracking for all of us I think at this point!

MinaTannenbaum Tue 23-Mar-10 22:53:30

We had a big uniform list and heaps of forms by return from accepting the place.
Luckily like Grimma our uniform is moderately priced, despite it being a boys' grammar.
He is really looking forward to it.
You do realise that our PFBs are vintage MN babies from its earliest vintage? They should host a party for them at Google HQ

hippipotamiHasLost80lbs Wed 24-Mar-10 08:02:07

Eek, we have not yet had a uniform list. Just the one form accepting the place...

Ds has been excited at the prospect of going to secondary school all along, but now the forms have been filled in, and it is officially happening iyswim he is wibbling a bit...

Our evening dog-walk has become a way of familiarising ds with the different ways of getting to secondary school. Luckily two boys next door (currently Y7 and Y9) and the girl across the road (also currently Y7) will be able to 'lead the way' as it were.

Most of my friends are planning to drop their dc's off on the first day. But my nephew (now Y10 at same school ds will attend) does indeed confirm that will guarantee a painful instant social death. "Unless it is done by the back gates and mum does not get out of the car". grin
I am assuming however I will be at working that day, so ds will just have to make his own way [wibble again]

At the same time as ds leaving the junior school dd will be leaving her infant school. It feels a bit 'end of an era' - ish and I feel old!!!

BigTillyMint Wed 24-Mar-10 08:50:29

We haven't had a uniform list yet either, and I'm now worrying about our letters of acceptance which we sent straight back - hope they haven't gone astray!!!

This feels much more momentous than when she started at primary school!

GrimmaTheNome Wed 24-Mar-10 11:27:15

We haven't been sent a uniform list, its all on the prospectus on the website.

gingertoo Wed 24-Mar-10 12:26:26

cat64 confused it was such a good plan....

We've had a uniform list sent through along with a huge pile of forms to fill in (personal info / contact forms / various consent forms etc)

I have not priced up the uniform yet.
The blazer with logo, sweater with logo and tie are only stocked by John Lewis in the nearest city so I fear not cheap. The trousers are plain black and the shirts white so I suppose I can get them anywhere. The rugby kit and general sports kit all have logo too and are only available from a specific sports store in the city so again, I'm not expecting it to be cheap...

Have been saving up for the uniform since it dawned on me last September that it might be expensive so hopefully there will be enough in my pot by July when I go and buy it...

hippipotamiHasLost80lbs Wed 24-Mar-10 15:34:33

Have looked at the website - blazer with logo, tie and both rugby and games kits are only available from local schoolwear store. Yikes.
Black trousers, black v-neck jumper, white shirt, black socks and black shoes are all available anywhere so that should not be too bad.

I tend to buy most of the dc's uniform from M&S so will start getting some bits and pieces for ds in the next few weeks as I am placing an order for dd's summer school dresses anyway.

It all feels so real now..

(although am now fretting as I have heard nothing since returning the acceptance form 2 weeks ago - must get a grip!)

BigTillyMint Wed 24-Mar-10 16:27:16

(although am now fretting as I have heard nothing since returning the acceptance form 2 weeks ago - must get a grip!)

Same here hippi grin

BigTillyMint Wed 24-Mar-10 16:27:58

BTW, wait for the M&S 3 for 2 deals - usually start before the summer hols!

hippipotamiHasLost80lbs Wed 24-Mar-10 20:28:46

Will wait for 3 for 2 deals for most things, thanks for the tip smile

Spoke to a friend whose ds is starting the same secondary school as ds - she has not heard anything from them either, so must be normal I guess...[tries and fails to suspend wibbling]

cat64 Wed 24-Mar-10 23:12:10

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BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Wed 24-Mar-10 23:18:45

The uniform list for ds's school is on their web site, trousers/shirt/blazer can come from John Lewis, PE kit is from the school as it is all embroidered (cricket/rugby/tracksuit/running (I'd love to see ds run, he can't without falling over, last time he had to run he ended up walking and waving to me as he passed by, quite like the queen!!)) there's alot of it. There's a second hand uniform shop at the school though so I may wait and have a look to see what they have there.

Tawny75 Thu 25-Mar-10 15:32:04

Can I join too! My DD is going to secondary school in September too, I also haven't heard anything since sending in the acceptance.

She is as tall as me but she sis still too young, there is no way my baby can be nearly 11!

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Thu 25-Mar-10 17:50:54

sad It's sooo scary Tawny. Welcome smile

sb6699 Thu 25-Mar-10 18:15:36

Can I come in as well.

My PFB (DS) starts secondary in September.

I am bloody petrified - what if he cant keep up, what if he gets bullied?

I have no clue about secondary school, dont even know where to buy his uniform!

GrimmaTheNome Thu 25-Mar-10 18:21:29

Some schools have their own shop, in which case they'll give you opportunity to buy during next term.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Thu 25-Mar-10 18:21:50

smile Welcome.

Do they have the info on their web site? Have you checked their ofsted report? The school ds should have gone to has their Ofsted on their web site and there are comments about bullying on there (how the children don't feel safe sad) so it can give you a clue of what's going on. (I'm so glad he's not going there)

Boobaddum Thu 25-Mar-10 21:51:09

Hi, new here x

My DD starts in September too. She's only one of two going to her new school - the other is a boy - not good in her eyes!

She's only just going to be 11 as she's a summer baby but she is quite mature and sensible compared to others in her year.

She's very keen to go to school on her own - a 1.5 mile bus ride even though I almost drive past the school entrance on my way to work! I'm sure once the novelty wears off I'll be dropping her 'near' school and she can walk the rest.

However, it's other adults that are making me worried "You ARE taking her for the first few days at least?" and "You're not letting her go on the bus, are you?". Some have primary school kids and some have year 7's. Even though I feel the journey is safe, I don't know what to do for the best - certainly don't want her to be seen as a 'mummys girl' but I think a lot are driven so might not be the end of the world. She'll certainly have to get bus some days as I take DS to primary school in opposite direction couple of days a week. My friends DD is in Year 7 and has to walk past us to get to bus stop so might get her to take DD under wing!

The wait and the worry of whether they get the school they/we want is over, only to be replaced with other worries!

BendyBob Thu 25-Mar-10 21:58:16

OMG I don't need this..how could dd do this to me?? Be 12 in Oct I mean. When/how did that happen? It's terrifying how over 10 years can evaporate.

sb6699 Thu 25-Mar-10 22:34:46

I suppose I'm pretty lucky. We're moving house and both the primary and secondary schools are very close by so no need to worry about buses/trains.

The schools around here are all pretty good so I know I'm irrational to worry so much - BUT I CANT HELP IT!!!!

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Thu 25-Mar-10 23:47:07

Ds is going to a senior school in the next city, he'll be catching the school bus really early, I'll take him there for the first week, I'm hoping he'll meet some other boys who catch the same bus so he has people to talk to.

sb6699 Fri 26-Mar-10 00:17:48

If its a school bus then there will probably be others on the lookout for a friend and he will meet others quickly.

Wow, look how rational I am when its someone else's child grin

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Fri 26-Mar-10 00:23:24


Ds is a bit of a mummy's boy. He likes it when I collect him from school, as I can't time travel or teleport from work to him this is not going to happen. I can start earlier and finish earlier though as he has to catch the bus at 7:15 (soo early). I've agreed to collect him on wednesdays so we can go for a pizza after school though and I'll take him once a week, public transport only takes 25 minutes to get him there so it's no biggie. I want him to make friends so it will do away with the need for me to take him. They have tutor groups at the new school which have boys from all of the other years in aswell so I think he'll be looked after, he can be a bit of a verbal liability IYSWIM.

sb6699 Fri 26-Mar-10 00:38:56

Aw bless - "mummy's boy".

I think DH will probably take the first day of term off work so one of us can walk him round while the other takes the DD's.

I am kidding myself it will be for moral support but DS is very blase about the whole thing.

My youngest (DD2) starts nursery at the "big school" in September too - my babies are growing up so fast sad

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Fri 26-Mar-10 00:45:31

sad big school is scary, homework shock

I think parents panic more then the children, I realise now that I am old! Ds is 11 in a couple of weeks, starts senior school in September, the next stop will be Uni probably. It fly's by, it's times like this that make you realise this.

Mummy's boys' get eaten alive!! sad I think he'll be fine, he has a great sense of humour, he might end up pissing the teachers off but he'll have friends in the class hmm

sb6699 Fri 26-Mar-10 00:53:44

If I have an 11 yo DS - why do I still feel like I'm 18 grin

I find it impossible as it is to get DS to homework unless its something he enjoys - so a bit worried how we'll handle that.

Our DS' sound very similar - mine is a bit of a mummy's boy too but fancies himself as a comedian so has loads of pals.

DD1 woke up earlier crying with earache and has just fallen asleep again on the sofa so I suppose I better take myself off to bed before the Neurofen I gave her wears off.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Fri 26-Mar-10 01:00:04

smile Night.

I'm around tomorrow, ds has a virus so is off school.

I know what you mean about feeling 18 though, I look at all the mums at school and they all seem so mature and know what they are doing, I still look 18 (apart from the grey hair), far from responsible.

I can't see a comedian going down very well at the new school, he's given himself a deadline to 'mature' grin, it's because he wants a new computer game really but if it helps!!!

I hope your DD is feeling better soon.

roisin Fri 26-Mar-10 07:28:02

You know, they gain confidence so... quickly.

Two years ago ds1 had two taster days at secondary. We were tying ourselves in knots as to how to get him home the second day, as we were both working and it wasn't a day we could flex.

On the first day dh took him in on the (public service) bus, to show him how that worked.

ds1 was totally happy and confident with it so he suggested to us that he just got the bus home himself on that second day. And he did. The older students at the bus stop were really impressed at a 10 yr-old (summer baby) having the confidence to do that, and being allowed to do that!

sb6699 Fri 26-Mar-10 11:11:05

DD was fine this morning - so they are all at school/nursery.

Really I should be packing for the house move, but have just come back from supermarket and cant be bothered.

We are trying to convince DS to take the last few days of school off so we can go on holiday but he isnt having it - the parents have booked a limo and they're all going bowling on the last day and he's adamant he doesnt want to miss it.

Please could someone remind me that on 8th April, I need to tell the secondary school our new address/phone number etc.

I know there's a good chance I'll forget and will put money it thats when they'll send out an important letter that we wont know anything about.

BigTillyMint Fri 26-Mar-10 12:13:03

Oh, sb please let him go on the school leavers jolly's at the end of the year - it marks such an important time.

sb6699 Fri 26-Mar-10 12:45:13

I know, I know.

Its just that we've had a bit of a rough year so a holiday would have been nice for ALL of us - looks as if it will be a caravan in the cold and rain instead!

My pfb starts in September as well, gosh how time has flown.

She has been through a lot in the last 2 years including moving countries starting 2 new schools and my marriage break down, but yet she is so happy and excited up beat about going to secondary school.

I am very very proud of her, in actual fact right now I am near tears!

GrimmaTheNome Fri 26-Mar-10 13:59:51

roisin, good for your DS!

My feeling is that DD has to be on the school bus from day 1. She thinks so too, and I'm pretty sure her friend will be doing likewise, which of course helps enormously.

I got the impression that the school does some sort of a buddy system with a 6th former too to start with - it might be worth seeing if theres something like that possible if your child doesn't have a pal on the bus from the outset.

GrimmaTheNome Fri 26-Mar-10 14:01:00

PassMyGlass, after that your DD should take it in her stride no probs!

Yes I am inclined to agree!

We haven't heard anything from the school yet, has anyone else?

BigTillyMint Fri 26-Mar-10 15:08:33

We got the letter confirming we had been offered a place, which I replied to smile

It said that there will be a meeting after Easter, but there was no time on it......

<<must look for letter when I get in after work>>

gingertoo Fri 26-Mar-10 15:38:00

We've had a letter from the school too passmyglassplease, offering DS1 a place. This was in addition to the offer letter from the LEA. We had to reply in writing to the school confirming acceptance of the place, again in addition to accepting the place with the LEA.

Not heard anything since though...

I think it varies from school to school. After the mass application process, schools all seem to do things their own way from now til the start of Yr7, I think.

Cadelaide Fri 26-Mar-10 18:07:44

Hello All! smile

We had a letter from the "big" school today detailing meetings and stuff. It's all getting a bit real.

roisin Fri 26-Mar-10 18:18:52

We've only had the official letter from the LEA. I'm not sure when we'll get more info.

sb6699 Fri 26-Mar-10 23:58:19

I have had a letter from the school asking me to confirm that I am accepting my place but nothing since.

Cadelaide - I totally understand what you mean by "its all getting a bit real".

Right now it still seems as if they are going to stay at primary forever but seeing all the new stuff in black and white must hit it home.

Has Belle not been back? She said her DS wasnt well, I hope he is okay.

hippipotamiHasLost80lbs Sat 27-Mar-10 10:45:35

We have still not had anything from the school (starts to wibble again) but it is early days yet...

Ds attended a 'dance and literacy' festival at his new secondary school yesterday. Organised by the Year 11's they invite 30 Y6 children from each of the 5 local primary schools. (irrespective of whether they will go to this secondary)
The main aim is for the Y11's to organise and run an event but it was great for ds to see his new school. (although they only got as far as the main hall, sports hall and toilets grin)

A few nights ago ds and I decided use the evening dog walk as another practise walk to his new school. From our door to their side gate (closest gate to us) takes exactly 23 minutes. (but that did include stopping to pooperscoop) So if we allow 30 minutes he should be on time in the mornings. (although we may have to allow time for by dawdeling, chatting with new pals, admiring a parked car 'wow it is the latest xyz' etc)

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Sat 27-Mar-10 18:27:04

I'm here sb smile. He's feeling better today so we went to watch Nanny McPhee (he was better yesterday so has had chance to relax). Why do they always recover in time for the weekend??

sb6699 Sat 27-Mar-10 23:16:11

Was it any good? Was thinking of taking my lot to see it but not sure if DD2 will watch something if its not a cartoon about some princess or other grin

Seem to have so much to organise atm. Moving house, DS' residential trip, end of term jollies (loved that phrase from BigTillyMint - so needed an excuse to use it gain).

With all that, secondary does still seem really far away.

Really not looking forward to DD2 starting nursery at the same time - seeing her off in her school uniform will just seem like the end of an era for me.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Sun 28-Mar-10 11:29:11

It was OK, I don't think the children were as naughty as the ones in the first movie though, Nanny McPhee was more of a nanny rather then someone to alter the little darling's behaviour. I found little bits a tad sinister, the uncle had gambled the farm away, two female's turned up and threatened to remove his kidneys, then they were going to remove all of his insides and stuff him. It may go over a small child's head, or not. It's quite funny in parts though, the children end up in bed with farm animals (and a baby elephant) because they don't want to share. I don't think it was as good as the first one though.

You have alot going on, it must be stressful for you. I'm not sure what ds is up to at the end of the term, all of his year apart from 2 are leaving (the school extended the intake to go up to 13 last year, they were moving and having an intake from 3 to 16 which I though was huge, now they have decided they are not moving, they are messing about a bit and ds would love to escape all the god stuff), I don't know if they make a fuss. They did at his old school, parents meal, childrens meal, weekend away, parents of leavers had to donate something to the school, leavers ceremony. My neighbour sent her son there, she must have spent £300 for him just to leave!!

Doobydoo Sun 28-Mar-10 18:58:23

Totally agree with OP...my PFB starts in sept he was born 29th August and is waaaaay toooo young I wish it was a year later really.Not worried re work he just seems smaller[eeek]

Whew that's a relief, I have just spoken to the school and they will be sending out their confirmation letters over the Easter Holiday.


Time to start looking at buying the uniform, think I'll just cut off the arm and leg now and have done.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Tue 30-Mar-10 13:33:32


Ds's uniform list is online, it's huge! At least I can get his blazer from John Lewis for £20 though, the last time I had to buy one it cost me £68!! sad

Does anyone know if they are expected to have their own cricket bats/tennis raquets etc?

Boobaddum Tue 30-Mar-10 16:38:33

I actually emailed our new school as I was worried that open evening would coincide with DH birthday (have booked couple of nights peace away from kids!). They have come back that open evening is at beginning of July, so am relieved but it seems very late! Also my friend, whose DD attends same school said that she phoned as it was well into June before they heard from the school and she was panicking that something had gone wrong!
She also advised me that we could only buy PE direct from the school and that we should buy it at beginning of open evening as they left it to the end and it had all sold out, so they had to wait until DD started school in Sept to get it - so beware!

webwiz Tue 30-Mar-10 17:41:54

Boobaddum my DCs school normally has the "new intake" evening in July and the next day is then the taster day in school.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Tue 30-Mar-10 18:58:52

A taster day? What happens if they are little sod's? is the place suddenly withdrawn? Are they blackmarked forever? (likes to be brepared for all eventualities)

webwiz Tue 30-Mar-10 19:08:56

LOL Belle - I bet the teachers take note of any characters.smile

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Tue 30-Mar-10 19:36:33

Darn, I was hoping I'd have the summer holidays to get him into shape! grin

sb6699 Tue 30-Mar-10 21:18:23

Belle, bribary normally works a treat in this household.

Got confirmation of DD2's school nursery place today.

September really is going to be all change - my eldest going to secondary and my youngest just starting off (I know its only nursery and will only be for half a day - but still....)

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Tue 30-Mar-10 21:28:57

I've tried bribery in many different shapes. He's not a bad child to be honest, he just needs to learn to be quiet! I expect they are use to excitable boys, he will settle down once he's started, he just talks and laughs alot, there's far worse out there.

It sounds like it's a whole new start for you all. Are you excited or nervous?

sb6699 Tue 30-Mar-10 22:04:55

Bit of both really, but the dc's are totally laidback about the whole thing.

Suppose I'd better get thinking of uniforms and stuff. The high school had a second hand sale but it was the week before we got confirmation so I didnt want to risk it because I knew there was a good chance he wouldnt get in.

I suppose I would rather get him new stuff to make sure he looks smart on his first day but it could have been handy for the gym kit/sports bag/tracksuit which are £££

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Tue 30-Mar-10 22:08:36

There's probably a second hand uniform room in the school if you call them and ask them, the PTA often run them.

Poor ds has had the same shirts and trousers for the last few years (they were a bit big). I'm going to replace all of it, new school new start.

Where abouts are you moving to?

hippipotamiHasLost80lbs Wed 31-Mar-10 07:58:14

No such thing as a second hand uniform sale here... And I have been told by various parents that the blazers get bought verrrry big so they last at least two years and after that they are not worth selling or even passing on!

Still no letter re taster day etc from the school - but I heard that is not normally till June anyway! Am getting nervous now....eek...

sb6699 Wed 31-Mar-10 18:24:49

I live in a tiny hamlet atm, so moving to the nearest market town where the dc's go to school.

They are so isolated here, they are really looking forward to being closer to their friends.

Will give DS a bit more independence now he is getting older too - not much fun being a teenager and having to beg your mum for a lift anytime you want to see your mates.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Wed 31-Mar-10 19:54:22

smile It sounds great for little ones though, all that space, grass and trees.

sb6699 Wed 31-Mar-10 21:12:04

The scenery is stunning and the dc's love the tractors and ponies coming past the back gate. Our house is on the edge of a field so they have lots of space to play safely and is ideal for the dog.

BUT, I spend half my life ferrying the dc's about, 45 minute round trip if we run out of milk, in the winter everything is covered in mud and if it snows you're buggered.

Everything has a downside grin

If we had public transport here and maybe a shop I would probably persevere but this house is sorely in need of maintenance (which my LL wont do), in fact my heating and hot water have been on the blink since Friday.

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Wed 31-Mar-10 21:21:41

sad You need heating, it's still chilly!

We live in a city, there's not alot of green space and trees but there's a huge park about a mile away so we go there. It's noisey, I'd like to show ds the stars but it's too bright. The temptation to shop at the weekends is huge aswell blush

sb6699 Wed 31-Mar-10 21:52:15

Chilly? Its bloody freezing in this house!!!

Am trying to put a brave face on and look forward to moving day.

DD2 went to her friends house after nursery and the lovely mummy had offered to let us shower there - the dc's were playing outside afterwards and we thought they were a bit quiet so went to check on them. They had found a painting set and literally painted each other head to foot - cue another shower grin

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Wed 31-Mar-10 22:02:46

grin Did you take some pictures?

Ds did this once, he had a great time. It washes off.

I bet your LL repairs everything when you move out. angry

sb6699 Wed 31-Mar-10 22:09:21

I should have - they looked up at us with big cheesy grins as if butter wouldnt melt [bless]

I almost had a heart attack - they have just moved house and I had visions of it being emulsion!!!

Have had no end of problems with this house - I dont actually think the LL will be able to rent it out again before he spends a shedload of cash sorting out the rotton windows and doors and updates the pre-war bathroom.

Cadelaide Wed 31-Mar-10 22:16:01

I'm getting a lot of "...this will be the last time ever..." moments, such as when DS read in the school Easter service in church today.

It seems bigger than when he first started school, tbh, or is it just that I've forgotten how that felt?

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Wed 31-Mar-10 22:21:05

I'm excited for him, he's going to a fantastic school, there's so many things he can do there. He's not really fussed, he only moved to his current school in September, it's a church school and he's not really settled there properly. He has friends and works well, he finds the ethos really hard though. They no longer go swimming as they do prayer time instead, he's not impressed.

Poster paints are good for making a real mess, I used to paint ds's feet and hands and let him walk on a huge sheet of paper. I don't recomend painting hands though, he put his hand on his head and it went downhill from there grin

AnnaSergeyevna Thu 29-Apr-10 14:44:34

Less than a term to go now shock

My DS is going to a school that doesn't have any uniform. His current school has uniform and he's never needed many clothes and so I have NO idea how much to buy him! How many pairs of jeans does an 11 year old need?
I have a feeling a trip to Primark may be required grin

saffy202 Thu 29-Apr-10 15:41:50

My ds2, my baby starts secondary school in September. All new for us as we have just switched from three tier to two. However he did move up to middle school in Y5 so for him it was still three different schools - god it's confusing lol

BigTillyMint Sun 02-May-10 13:41:04

Are all your Y6's doing the SATs or are they some of the lucky ones whose Head Teachers are planning to boycott them?

We went to a meeting at DD's new school last week - it was for form filling, etc but I think really an excuse to check the children out individually wink She was really nervous before, but came out really excited. grin

Anna, poor you - I would hate to have DC in a non-uniform school. Is he fussy about his clothes? DD would be stressing every morning about what to wear, and mornings are bad enough as it is grin

MinaTannenbaum Sun 02-May-10 15:47:49

No SATS for us grin
Just leavers' trip, leavers' disco, leavers' play, mock election and letting the good times roll into July now.
Ds is a bit shell-shocked. They have got Sex Ed coming up in PSHE, though...

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Sun 02-May-10 15:49:57

I'm still trying to get around the ebay rules so I can sell my kidney grin

Well done, you must be so relieved. They have really made you wait (buggers).

AnnaSergeyevna Sun 02-May-10 17:52:01

Yes, full on SATs in our school. They have been doing practice papers for weeks now. I don't know of any schools locally (london) who are boycotting them.

Big Tilly - he usen't to be fussy over clothes but he is showing more and more interest in them. I expect the first two weeks of school to be a nightmare of fussing and nerves, especially as he doesn't know anyone else going to the school and is keen to make a good impression early on.

I am ber envy of those who have already had letters from the schools and been able to visit them. We have heard nothing yet...

BigTillyMint Sun 02-May-10 18:17:00

Anna, we are in London too, and I only know of one school in our authority that is boycotting them (the head is an NAHT stalwart!) DD is very envy, but I doubt they'll do much work after, apart from practising the Y6 production!

DC did sex ed last half-term, but as the school do a sort of repetetive, then add on some new stuff, it wasn't much of a shock!

Where are your leavers' trips to? DD's is to Chessington and the teacher has told them they should bring their mobiles if they have got one - she can't believe her luck!

MinaTannenbaum Sun 02-May-10 19:59:03

Ours is a residential to Normandy for five days, bigtillymint (peace beckons) grin

WilfSell Sun 02-May-10 20:00:29

oooh missed this. Me too. Will blub. Just marking place for later...

MinaTannenbaum Sun 02-May-10 20:01:23

He's not allowed to take his mobile though - and the school have made them sign a code of conduct shock

BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny Sun 02-May-10 20:27:26

Anyone's boy starting a high school in Notts?

jenduff Sun 02-May-10 20:44:15

Can't believe I haven't seen this thread - tagging along for the bumpy ride. Still feel that there must have been some mistake - my baby can't be going to secondary school

AnnaSergeyevna Sun 02-May-10 21:36:38

Know just how you feel jenduff.

Last September I watched all the new year 7's traipsing past our house to the local comp. They all looked so small and innocent...with their too-big blazers and worried faces.
8 months later, I can't tell them from the rest of the school cohort shock.
too scary to think about.

FrogPrincess Thu 06-May-10 11:17:27

As I hadn't heard from dd's new school since they sent her an offer letter, I went to explore their website, found their calendar and lo and behold, there it was, the induction evening for new Year 7 parents, and the following week, the induction morning for the new Year 7s!
I am quite excited, I know dd will be too! Dh is just being his usual flegmatic self. grin

ilovecanada Thu 06-May-10 13:47:19

Can I join in here? My DS starts secondary in September and I'm dreading it. There are "bigger boys" there and DS is so small and innocent blush

I've not heard from the school either since I got the letter from the council saying he'd got in. I only know they have an induction day in July because I saw it on the website!

Hope I hear from them soon.

our LEA is boycotting the SATS, DD is upset as she was really looking forward to them hmm

think I may have a swat on my hands grin obviously doesn't take after me then !!

we have our letter from the school letting us know she has been accepted, now all I need to do is cut off my right arm to pay for the uniform!

our council has phased out grants for uniforms sad

gingertoo Thu 06-May-10 14:46:00

Can't believe how quickly this term is going!

I've had a letter from DS1's secondary school today inviting him to an induction day in July and a seperate information day for us neurotic keen new YR7 parents where we will get to ask lots of stupid questions. We will also get to meet DS1's tutor, order uniform, sort out his bus pass and dinner swipe card, sign up for music lessons etc.

I am very excited, can't wait

AnnaSergeyevna Fri 07-May-10 00:49:41

Looks like we are the only ones who haven't heard anything from the school yet sad

Froid Sat 08-May-10 08:27:28

I have not heard from the school yet, either. I've a bit of a uniform nerd and like everything bought way too early. I'm more excited about the uniform order form than anything else I think blush

PrincessTippyToes Sat 08-May-10 09:30:13

Hi everyone, just been reading through the threads, all true but so funny! Froid, I always leave buying September term until as close to the new term as possible as my DD is growing a rate of knots - already wearing my shoes and not far off my height - unfortunately getting the hormonies to go with it! The strops are unbelieveable, and she is such a sweet thing usually. Friends always told me that girls are twice as much of a handful as boys at this age. I'm trying to put that to the back of my mind or I will go totally bananas. grin

gingertoo Sat 08-May-10 10:22:36

I'm excited about the uniform too Froid blush

At the parents information day in July the school outfitters are going to be there so the DCs can try on blazers, sweaters, rugby shirts etc and we can order them (hoping I would have an involuntary cry when I see him in his blazer [saddo emoticon])

I'm going to wait and get the trousers / shirts etc (that you can get from anywhere) until M&s / debenhams / John Lewis etc have their Back to School offers on.

AnnaSergeyevna Sat 08-May-10 23:35:23

Yahoo, our letter arrived today! We all felt ridiculously pleased, not quite sure why. I think its probably because after all the stress of applications, priority lists etc, it finally feels like its turning into reality.

No uniform at our school tho'. Wish there was, am quite envious of the rest of you wink

gingertoo Sun 09-May-10 17:33:05

Glad you've got your letter Anna

AnnaSergeyevna Tue 11-May-10 16:51:13

I've been wondering how I will replace my current set of school mums, with secondary ones. There won't be any school gates to hang around and I don't know any other children who are going to the secondary school.

Perhaps school friendships are just not the same at secondary school confused
Perhaps all the info and gossip I'll get will be filtered through DS hmm

Cadelaide Tue 11-May-10 22:16:19

oooh, this thread has been rumbling along nicely.

Anna, yes, sometimes the only time I speak to anyone other than my family is at the school gates (I work from home most of the time). I'll miss the walk, too, although I'm looking ahead a bit as I will still have 2 younger ones at primary.

gingertoo Wed 12-May-10 13:08:51

My son will be going to school and back on the bus, Anna, so I've been thinking about that too. I won't have much day to day physical contact with the school / other mums at all I suppose apart from attending events etc...

...although I will still have one at primary, one at pre-school and a newborn by then so I suppose I will see plenty of people!
How about joining the secondary school PTA?

i have been through all this as i have a year 10 and a year 8 i'm not saying it is easy and i did cry for about the first week both times. i was constantly asking questions like have you made any friends yet especially with my oldest as she was the only girl from her school going to this secondary. but 4 years later she has a really good circle of friends and i well liked by her peers. my son, my baby it was hard but he was luck a few of his friends mum's wrote to the school requesting if they could be in the same form class and the school did put them in the same class so he settled in really quick. it will all work out and you will look back and wonder why you were so worried.

gingertoo Thu 13-May-10 09:59:46

That's reassuring karen, thanks

My son is the only boy going to his new secondary school from his primary school so I've been really worried about him making friends and fitting in but he doesn't seem fazed in the slightest - he says he's looking forward to making some new friends! I did speak to the head of YR7 at the open morning though and he said that the previous year they had children from 25 primary schools - so my son definitely won't be the only one going through this!

Froid Thu 13-May-10 14:35:29

I'm excited in one way and scared in another. As DS is pretty "individual" so I'm hoping he'll make friends easier at secondary than he did at primary - without standing out too much that he gets bullied!

He does have the advantage of his older cousin (hugely popular girl in year 11) there to babysit him for me though grin and as she's popular with the boys, I'm hoping they'll leave DS alone in order to keep in with her blush

MinaTannenbaum Tue 18-May-10 21:47:02

We now know ds' Year 7 language option and I have spoken on the phone to his HoY, so that's all reassuring smile

BigTillyMint Wed 19-May-10 12:16:35

Ooh yes, I'd forgotton about the language options.....

Got to wait till July now for the induction day!

rubyrubyruby Wed 19-May-10 12:20:05

OMG - my youngest starts secondary school in September.

......... no more school runs sad

BigTillyMint Wed 19-May-10 12:56:10

Ruby, surely that should be grin?!

rubyrubyruby Wed 19-May-10 13:08:03

possibly - but after 19 years of school runs I will miss it.

gingertoo Wed 19-May-10 14:07:51

19 years of school runs, ruby! Although if I think about it, I will have clocked up that many years when I'm finished with school runs too. My eldest is starting secondary in September and DC4 is due in Nov so a few more years ahead of me yet!

WingsTHEangel Wed 19-May-10 14:41:39

Just found this thread my PFB will be going to secondary school in September and is an August baby.
We are going to the school tomorrow so he can have a look around. I haven't been in a secondary school for 21yrs shock
I dread to think how he'll manage the bus (which isn't a school one)

Doobydoo Sat 22-May-10 20:33:32

mINE TOO wINGStheANGEL..HE IS aUGUST BORN.[VERY END!]I wish he could go next Sept instead[eek]

Doobydoo Sat 22-May-10 20:33:52

sorry re capsblush

Cadelaide Sun 23-May-10 23:30:11

Froid, my boy sounds like yours.

I'm hoping he'll make some good friends. It's a huge school so chances are there'll be more like him, iyswim.

Have I made him sound like an alien? grin

whenslydale Tue 25-May-10 06:59:27

Joining in.. doobydoo I know what you mean. ds starting in Sept when he'll be 11 and one month and it has bugged me all through primary that no allowance is ever made for the fact that there is nearly a year between him and a lot of the others. On the other hand ds if anything seems more mature than a lot of the older ones and says he's fed up in primary because he doesn't want to do playgrond games and so on anymore.

His state secondary school specialises in the Arts so I'm hoping he will find more like-minded kids there. They have a system where they group kids according to their interests and mix all the year groups into a tutor group that meet at registration so it helps to reduce bullying by making the older kids feel responsible for the younger. All sounds good and he has 3 induction days in July! Glad he doesn't have to get the bus I must admit...

AnnaSergeyevna Fri 28-May-10 09:02:34

Well we heard from the school finally and were told who would be our sons Learning Manager.
But what on earth is a Learning Manager?! Is it a new term for form tutor?
The confusion starts here. I am only used to traditional old fashioned school ways and lingo. I expect this is only the beginning of many other terms and concepts that will be alien to me shock

BigTillyMint Fri 28-May-10 21:05:44

Never heard that one before, Anna! Well I guess it will be a steep learning curve for us all smile

Greenshadow Wed 02-Jun-10 19:59:59

Hello everyone.
Not PFB here, but like Ruby, our youngest DS is starting Secondary school in September.
Can't beat your 19 years of the school run Ruby but we have done 11 years so far and will now be sending DS3 off on the school bus.
He will also be the only one from his primary going to his secondary and he is not happy...
I'm confident he will make friends with time, but have every sympathy for him for the first few days. Unfortunately because of the way the catchment area works, most of the other children will know each other, or at least quite a few others.
We still haven't heard from the school yet - just the county after his place was confirmed. Think I'd better call again after half term.

AnnaSergeyevna Thu 03-Jun-10 11:40:36

Hi Greenshadow, my ds will also be the only one from his school going to the secondary. He seems fine about it, but the number of children moving up together, with established friendship groups, does make me worry about his first few days. He won't have a single familiar face sad.

Like you I'm pretty confident he'll find new friends quickly but I can't help worrying.

Also hoping that experienced secondary school mums like you can impart some pearls of wisdom and calming influence to us, nervous, newbies wink

PixieOnaLeaf Thu 03-Jun-10 20:50:07

Message withdrawn

kodokan Fri 11-Jun-10 16:13:06

Can I join in? We're in Switzerland, where my 10 yr old DS (would be Yr 5 in UK) will finish primary in a few weeks, then go into secondary at the end of August. Proper secondary, with different teachers for different subjects, full of bigger kids.

And we don't yet know which of two schools he will be allocated to, his current one or the one in the next village. Or what his hours will be each day, or which of his friends will be in his next class.

And at the end of the next two years of continuous assessment, he'll be streamed into one of 3 academic paths for the remainder of his secondary schooling, only one of which can lead to university.

And it's all in French, and we only moved here two years ago so although he's made terrific progress he still has a long way to go to native level.

* twitch *

Do I win the 'Most Stressful Situation' prize?

cat64 Fri 11-Jun-10 16:27:15

Message withdrawn

Litchick Fri 11-Jun-10 19:33:27

Ooh - DD will go up this year too.
And she'll be the only one of her current peers going to her new school.

She's not remotely nervous...but I am.

AnnaSergeyevna Fri 11-Jun-10 19:41:41

kodokan just reading your post made me stress out. Having lost a year of my life to the 11+ process with my son, I couldn't even imagine the stress of two years to get him into a school that leads to university.

Mind you, these days everybody goes to university in the UK so it doesn't mean much anymore wink

kodokan Fri 11-Jun-10 20:15:29

AnnaSergeyevna, I know, madness isn't it. I'm not sure which is worse, it all hinging on one day or having to keep the pressure on for two years.

There's a lot of talk of scrapping it to go comprehensive with setting by subject, like in the UK, but it won't happen in any timescale that I care about. Here, university is still very much seen as for the elite, the top 15% or so. (And you can only study 'proper' subjects - no Surf Studies for landlocked Switzerland.)

And during the two assessment years, the only subjects they select by are French, Maths and German; I'm hoping German's proximity to English will pull him through.

Although even then it would just mean winning the right to do another 6 years of hard slog - I'm thinking of letting him coast through the Swiss system as a middle-of-the-roader, then have him take UK A-levels as a homeschooled external candidate.

PixieOnaLeaf Fri 11-Jun-10 22:45:00

Message withdrawn

roisin Sat 12-Jun-10 08:25:46

Another one with a youngest starting secondary this time. ds1 is already there and having a wonderful time (yr8) and I work in a different secondary (Academy), so I don't have many questions!

ds2 only knows 5 children going to his new school and 4 of them are girls, so he is a bit worried. But I'm sure he will be fine once he gets there and settles in.

Anna - Learning Manager is a title that covers various different roles in secondary these days.

One option is a pastoral leader, but someone who is support staff rather than a teacher. So there might be a Head of Lower School, or Head of House or Head of Year 7 (teacher roles), but then this is supported by a Learning Manager, who does much of the day-to-day, on-the-ground sorting out bits and pieces and doing the admin work. At our school these are "House Managers" and they do a superb job and actually have a lot of authority and responsibility, but are very approachable for the students.

Sometimes this title is used for a mentor-type role, where your child has a named person that they can go to to discuss any concerns or problems, but primarily to monitor their progress against targets and co-ordinate any interventions required if there isn't progress.

In other schools form tutors can be given this title - ours are "Learning Group Leaders". And in some schools TAs are called Learning Managers.

So, take your pick!

kodokan Sat 12-Jun-10 12:00:22

PixieOnaLeaf - no, he could absolutely go to uni in England, or a lot of other places, tuition language permitting. As long as he gets some kind of 'I'm 18 and have uni-entry qualifications from x country', then he's good to go.

Since we stepped off the SATs, Key Stage 3, GCSEs, A-levels linear progression and started taking a cross-Europe education view, it's surprising how much fluidity there actually is to end up in the right place, eventually.

It probably helps that DH left school virtually qualificationless at 16, then went back into education aged 20 and left 6 years later with a Masters in engineering, leading to the sort of career that moved us to Switzerland.

So I'm going to try not to turn in naggy, shouty Mummy, telling my poor little 10 yr old: 'What do you mean you got a 'C' in this week's German spelling test? You'll never get into Oxbridge with grades like that!'

3plusbump Thu 17-Jun-10 14:09:42

Ooh things are starting to get moving at last! We have not heard fron the school for a while so was starting to wonder whether they had forgotten him!

We've had a letter inviting DS1 to an induction day in July and another inviting us all to go in for a meeting with his tutor and Head of House on another day. Also had a letter telling us that we can apply for bus pass at the bargain price of £100 per term shock

Might start looking at unfirm now. Noticed M&s have their 3 for 2 on uniform at the mo so might go and get the basics from there then get the logo stuff from the school outfitters....

Anyone else started on the uniform list yet?

hippipotamiHasLost92lbs Fri 18-Jun-10 08:14:15

Things are finally moving here too smile

The Head of Year for the new Y7 came to ds's primary school to give a talk to all the dc starting at this particular secondary school in Sept (approx 60 dc)
They gave out welcome packs with details of an open day for the dc, an evening talk for the new Y7 parents and the dreaded uniform list.
Luckily it included a 10% off voucher for the local uniform outfitters which is the only shop to sell the logo'd up items. Eek, spent over £100 and that was with only buying the bare necssities and after using the voucher [eek!]
Still have to buy black trousers, white shirts, black socks but will go to M&S for those next month.

So, it looks as if it is all definately happening and I must really take my head out of the sand.
Ds seems happy enough. smile

OrmRenewed Fri 18-Jun-10 08:22:51

I'm doing this for the second time in September. DS~1 went up 2 years ago, DD us going this year.

It was fine! Better than fine. It was the making of DS who was bored of primary when he left. But DD is very happy where she is and not happy about the prospect at all sad

roisin Fri 18-Jun-10 17:41:47

Big shoes for her to fill as well Orm! ds2 is a bit apprehensive that people will continually compare him with ds1, and that he will inevitably be called by ds1's name!

OrmRenewed Fri 18-Jun-10 18:38:12

DD is determined to pretend DS#1 isn't anything to do with her grin. He's larger than life, she's quite reserved and respectable.

roisin Fri 18-Jun-10 19:09:59

Ha! Great idea! But ds1 and ds2 look very alike (just like dh). People always know straight away that they're brothers.

LadyCad Tue 22-Jun-10 16:58:39

It's all getting a bit close now.

DS is getting a bit nervous, he's been fine until now. I'm doing a good job of being confident and reassuring (I think) whilst inwardly pooing my pants grin

RatherBeOnThePiste Tue 22-Jun-10 17:02:11

Had our familiarisation day today. Gulp.

AnnaSergeyevna Tue 22-Jun-10 21:34:12

*Ratherbeonthepiste8 - what did they do at the familiarisation day?

RatherBeOnThePiste Wed 23-Jun-10 09:27:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyCad Wed 23-Jun-10 12:47:58

I just wish he would let me kiss him, or hug him, or gently poke him with one finger even.

He's just not touchy. He left on Monday for a school trip and I wasn't even allowed a hair-ruffle.

FrogPrincess Wed 23-Jun-10 13:58:14

We have our new parents' evening tomorrow, then dd has her induction morning on Monday. Gulp. She has a full induction day in September too. I am starting to think about uniforms....
Both exciting and a little scary for all of us (although dh is too cool to admit it)

FrogPrincess Mon 28-Jun-10 10:07:05

Parents' evening was great, and this morning dd has her induction, gulp. She was excited and a little in awe of her new school and the big people there. I think she'll have a lovely time though, can't wait to hear what she thought.....

AnnaSergeyevna Mon 28-Jun-10 14:10:25

Ours is this week and I am much more excited than nervous for my ds.
The whole application and transfer process has taken soooo long that we just can't wait to get on with it. Helped by the fact that DS hasn't done any real work at school since sitting the SATs.
He'll probably have forgotten everything by the time he moves up in September grin

3plusbump Tue 29-Jun-10 21:23:48

How did your dd get on at her induction FrogPrincess?

DS1 has got his on Monday. He is so upbeat and confident about going to secondary that I think I'm worried about him going there on Monday, seeing what it's like and then coming down to earth with a bump! Hopefully that will not be the case....

Someone mentioned earlier that their DC had not done any 'proper work' since SATs and DS1 is the same. He is cruising along at the moment so I think he's well ready for a new challenge. He'll be 12 a week or two after he starts his new school so he's well ready to move up I think!

I'm dreading the primary school 'Leavers Service'. I cry every year and up to yet, I have not had a child that is leaving blush

FrogPrincess Wed 30-Jun-10 12:21:30

It went very well, thanks. She enjoyed assembly very much, which is probably a first (apparently the boys' choir sang some very good songs), met a few teachers, did some games to get to know her classmates, exchanged numbers with a few of them, then did some music (it's a music specialist school).
She wants to go to the school's end of year concert next week, which is a great sign.
She has been very busy since the SATS, I think it's a real shame so many Year 6s seem to do nothing much afterwards, it sends the wrong message to children doesn't it?
Anyway, good luck to your ds for Monday 3plusbump!

OrmRenewed Wed 30-Jun-10 12:23:25

DD has had her CAT tests now. There are 2 other girls and one boy from her primary. We had a 'family' interview although DD spent more time with the HT alone than with us grin She seems quite excited now but still sad to be leaving her old school

Next week for induction day and parent's evening.

roisin Wed 30-Jun-10 21:09:23

ds2 had induction day yesterday, with a big meeting/assembly for parents in the afternoon, and information stalls/fair. He found out his new form tutor and met the other students in his form, including the one boy from his primary. [phew] Dh took him on the bus and he seems quite confident and happy about that too.

A couple of weeks ago we had our family interview, which was a useful opportunity to ask questions.

He seems quite happy about it now and looking forward to going.

MinaTannenbaum Sat 03-Jul-10 19:19:03

Ds has his on Thursday. We have an evening meeting to be introduced to his form tutor, but he spends the day at school first.
He has already met his HoY - he came to ds' primary to chat to the four boys who are going to the same school.
Glad to hear everyone is enjoying theirs - I am finding the run-up to the end of primary school unexpectedly upsetting confused

LadyCad Tue 06-Jul-10 23:36:34

DP and I went to a meeting this evening, met DS's tutor.

I am not reassured at all. He has no friends at all in his tutor group and his tutor is, well....a PE teacher.

(I know, I know, that shouldn't mean anything at all and I mustn't bring along my old school baggage...)

stoppinattwo Wed 07-Jul-10 09:43:51

Oh can I join....DS is starting in Sept, and I have just dropped him off for his taster day in the new school, could tell he was quite nervous as he was sooooo quiet this morning, as he walked into the area that they were all wiating in I could see clusters of kids from different schools, DS saw some of his mates and he was off grin...delighted. Saw a mum i recognised and we shared our nervousness....however as I walked away, there was a cluster of girls and they were talking about DS (they were from another school so dont know how they know him) - they mentioned his name so i wasnt imagining it..."oh which one is DS?," and being rather girlie about him...I wanted to hisssss "keep your eyes off my boy" grin....oh God he is growing up sad, god help the first girl who breaks his heart..!!

bigTillyMint Wed 07-Jul-10 15:45:42

LadyCad, my friend's DD is THRILLED to have the PE teacher for her tutor, and apparently she is very pretty toosmile

My DD has had her Induction Day, but they have not been put in forms yet or met their tutor. - she'll have to wait for September for that!

LadyCad Thu 08-Jul-10 14:06:40

Wow, they moved him to another tutor group so he can be with his friends! smile

(And his new tutor doesn't teach PE, but that's not the reason we got him moved, honestly! grin )

Two induction days next week and a horrendously expensive uniform/kit list. It's all happening.

Greenshadow Thu 08-Jul-10 16:16:21

I think it's rather a pity that some children aren't told what tutor group they are going to be until September.

DS wasn't looking foward to moving up as he was the only one from his school, but after induction day last week, he is a bit happier as he has found there are a couple of boys in his group who he at least vaguely knows from sports/clubs outside school.

LadyCad Thu 08-Jul-10 19:06:26

He wept on the way home from school today.

They're doing "sex and relationships education" and it's all a bit much, i think. He's still a "young" 10yo. He's worried about moving up to secondary school and puberty and everything.

deaddei Fri 09-Jul-10 05:59:32

Ds doesn't know anyone in his tutor group but that's no problem- he's going there to make friends, and is going on the 2 day summer school where he'll meet a few.

bebumba Fri 09-Jul-10 09:08:37

DS had his two induction days this week. He had a fantastic time. He will not be with friends from his last school but some of the boys in his form he does already know. He also participated in a sports day organised by the secondary school where his school competed against the other feeder schools. He is so relaxed about it all.
Spent a fortune on school uniform Tuesday night.

bigTillyMint Sun 11-Jul-10 19:31:51

Yes, I have got just about all the uniform now, too. Including the blazer which was the smallest size available, but is still huuuge on my petite DD smile

Only 2 more weeks of Primary school left - I'm starting to feel like I may get tearful!

MinaTannenbaum Sun 11-Jul-10 22:48:21

Ds had a very good time at his induction day. Two really fun taster lessons, his form tutor seems very nice, he is in a form with one other boy from primary - it went better than I ever imagined. smile

FrogPrincess Mon 12-Jul-10 09:38:33

Blazers are weird I find, dd tried an M&S one which could have fitted 3 girls, let alone just the one... We bought a John Lewis one in the end in a small size and she's very happy with it. I never thought she would like blazers, but what do I know?
Jumpers are proving difficult too, they all seem baggy. And I hope the skirts we've picked are going to be long enough come september. Now waiting to receive the sports kit.

Dd is excited about her new school, but she's missing her old school already (she finished Friday) as they make a big deal out of the end of year 6, which is lovely as it's a very warm community, but obviously made her feel sad to be leaving. Friday was also her birthday so it was a double emotional whammy! Still, I took her and some friends to see Eclipse after school so it helped with the sadness at leaving her friends behind.

She's quite tired though so I'm going to let her chill out all day again today smile

gorionine Mon 12-Jul-10 09:44:54

DD1 got her induction day last week, she loved it. 5 frieds from her class will be in her form including her best friend.

I think worry much more than her TBH! I think what is going to be really hard is to not have her arround anymore to walk to school. It is nice having her chatting happilly. I will definitely miss that!

roisin Wed 14-Jul-10 18:55:55

Bump for Dingle!

Dingle Wed 14-Jul-10 19:07:32

grin Thanks again!

LadyCad Thu 22-Jul-10 16:55:33

Oh I'm hating all of this, tbh.

Too much emotion. Leavers' Assembly today, I'm just bottling it all up and it really can't be healthy.

Is it normal to feel this wobbly? I mean it's a good thing, after all, moving up to another school.

LadyCad Fri 23-Jul-10 10:28:39

Last day at primary school today. Please tell me it's normal to feel this sense of loss? I feel like a sad Mother who's too wrapped up in her children and who hangs around the playground fence at playtimes.

Citrus81 Fri 23-Jul-10 11:53:12

Last day at primary here too. I do feel sad because he has been at this school since he was just 3 and has grown up with all the children there. September will be hard for him as he doesn't really know anyone at his new school. I suppose its the end of an era really.

He said to me yesterday that one thing that stands out in his mind about the secondary induction day was the posters about drugs and alcohol abuse on the walls. "Talk to Frank" etc.

From posters about smiling to posters about syringes. From posters about "5 a day" to posters about blackened lungs through smoking. I wanna cry sad

gorionine Fri 23-Jul-10 11:59:27

Citrus I feel exactly like yousad. Although Dd1 still has 1 week of primary to go.

For those of you who already went trough the leavers assembly, how did you cope emotionally? I am worried I am going to cry so much it might be better if I actually do not go (am a ver emotional person) as I do not want to make DD1 incomfortable.

Forest79 Fri 23-Jul-10 12:19:12

We had the leavers assembly yesterday. I'm not one for crying so I held it together quite well but I think I will feel it more tonight when we walk out of the gates for the last time.

AlliMomma Fri 23-Jul-10 14:52:40

So I'm a newbie to MN and you all seem so knowledgable. So could one of you tell me how it's happened that my DDs are starting secondary school in September?!

My 3 little girls are all going up to a selective girls Grammar. They're identical triplets so they've always been a bit of a novelty at their primary. For the first time in their lives they've been split up into different form groups.

We've had a nice hefty uniform and sports list come through and obviously we now have this times 3 and it's only available at John Lewis. DH has said he won't be able to have lunch for 6 months.

They seem so small, how is this possible?! Not sure how I feel about them being split, whilst I want them to individually thrive they're very close and do everything together. Oh the grey hairs

3plusbump Fri 23-Jul-10 15:46:40

I can feel your pain AlliMomma. My son's John Lewis uniform order was delivered this morning - The total at the bottom of the page brought tears to my eyes and I've only got one! It is lovely though, the quality is really good and he looks so grown up in it (bless him, he humoured me and tried it all on!) Hope your girls get on ok - I'm sure they will My son is the only boy going from his primary though so I do share some of your concerns - I keep consoling myself that he is not the only one, that 250 new boys will start that school in September, surely he'll be fine confused

gorionine Everyone at our leavers service (teachers, pupils, parents, vicar) had a tear at some time in the service so you really won't be the only one if you cry Ours was so lovely - I wouldn't have missed it for the world...

My pfb dd came home in tears sad

I unfortunately could not pick her up from school, but in a way I was glad cos I am sure I would have blubbed all over the place.

LadyCad Fri 23-Jul-10 22:40:59

What an emotional week. I'm glad it's all over tbh.

DS is foul-tempered. He keeps disappearing into the garden "to think". He says he wanted to cry but he couldn't.

My boy.

Enough emotion now. Normal life please.

Citrus81 Sat 24-Jul-10 08:02:54

My DS has been very quiet too. Yesterday he apparantly collapsed into uncontrollable sobbing during the leavers assembly. He is very sensitive at the best of times though. I just hope secondary school isn't going to be a huge knock back for him.

It's wierd though because although the "leaving primary school" emotion is passed us we now have the worry of starting a new (and in most cases, HUGE) school. Bullying is a massive concern for me, DS seems to be a magnet for it sad

I'll be glad when he's all settled, probably some time next year!

3plusbump Sat 24-Jul-10 10:12:04

My DS1 has been exactly the same LadyCad. He's been quiet and moody and snappy with the little ones. He's had a couple of days off though now, he's chilled out and I seem to have my boy back

He's very excited about going up to secondary school but nervous at the same time. There were only 14 in YR6 at his primary whilst there are going to be around 250 in his year 7 - so I agree Citrus81, the change is going to be huge ...

AlliMomma Sat 24-Jul-10 17:10:52

Oh Friday was hard. Our local primary has been wonderful for the girls. They have enjoyed their experiences and had an amazing start to their education. Very sad! Tears all round.

We too had a very small primary school with, I believe 22 children in the girls year. They now move on to not only a girls only but a selective Grammar and there's only one other girl going with them. Typically, it's one none of them get on with!

kid Sun 25-Jul-10 15:17:31

My DD starts secondary school in September and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

In a way, I am glad she is leaving certain so called friends behind (they are going different seconday school) but at the same time, I am worried about her having to make new friends all over again. She isn't great at building friendships sad

On top of that, there is the worry of her getting to and from school safely. Surely I should just be able to let her go back to primary school if I don't think she is ready for secondary school? grin

MinaTannenbaum Wed 04-Aug-10 10:21:31

We went away on holiday straight from the end of term and I think the change of scene did ds good - even though we were all so exhausted the first week we just slept shock
It's a relief to read this thread and discover other people's leavers are being a bit tetchy and overwrought. Ds has been alternately really clingy and babyish, then gruff and rude.
Our end of term was like a marathon - parties at school and organised by friends, sports day, leavers' disco, trips out, leavers' play. I didn't cry actually, but now we are back from holidays it's really sunk in he's left sad

dinosaur Tue 10-Aug-10 09:45:10

kid, I don't know if you remember me, I used to post on here quite a bit at one stage.

Anyway, I heard on the grapevine that my DS1 and your DD are going to the same school - begins with "H", this is the first year of it being mixed - is that right?

dinosaur Tue 10-Aug-10 09:45:58

Sorry, just realised this is quite an old thread!

trefusis Tue 10-Aug-10 09:55:29

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trefusis Tue 10-Aug-10 09:57:01

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dinosaur Tue 10-Aug-10 10:02:49

I agree about it being a weird time! DS1 seems such a little boy at times, then other times I see this moody pre-adolescent creep in and I think - shock.

DS1 is going to the same school as three of his friends. However he is not in the same tutor group as his best friend. But I hope that won't matter too much.

I think I am going to accompany him on the bus in the mornings at first (his new school is on my way to work) but he will have to negotiate the bus home by himself, or at least with his friends. He is reasonably experienced at travelling on London buses though, so I think he should be fine in terms of knowing where to get on and off etc.

He has to pass through the "territory" of several other secondary schools though, which makes me a bit nervous on his behalf.

trefusis Tue 10-Aug-10 10:22:26

Message withdrawn

dinosaur Tue 10-Aug-10 10:41:15

sad for your dd that this nasty girl is in the same group - but hopefully in a bigger pool your dd can find different circles to move in and get away from her!

trefusis Tue 10-Aug-10 11:50:44

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trefusis Tue 10-Aug-10 12:30:08

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dinosaur Tue 10-Aug-10 12:34:41

smile yes fingers crossed

DS1 has had a difficult time in the last couple of terms at primary as well, he was downright bullied, no question about it, fortunately the bully is going to a different school, phew.

bebumba Wed 11-Aug-10 08:59:46

Off on holiday Friday so spent yesterday getting al the school uniform and equipment sorted. The time is going so fast. Fortunately my Ds is keen to get started at secondary school but I can't believe I needed to buy size 7shoes for my baby. How did he get so big?!

dinosaur Wed 11-Aug-10 09:56:02

Our nightmare is that DS1 STILL can't tie his shoelaces and we have had several meltdowns already this holiday as I try to teach him sad.

trefusis Wed 11-Aug-10 09:59:02

Message withdrawn

dinosaur Wed 11-Aug-10 10:07:08

I don't know who finds it more frustrating - him or me!


Citrus81 Wed 11-Aug-10 10:59:55

My DS can't tie shoe laces either! So I'm sure our DS's are not the only ones Dinosaur.

I specifically bought him slip on shoes for this reason and it wasn't until I was checking through his PE kit that I realised his football boots are laces!!!

So we've had intensive shoe lace tying sessions for the past few weeks.

dinosaur Wed 11-Aug-10 14:35:11

Citrus, I don't know whether to be pleased or sorry to find someone else in the same boat!

No mention of football boots on DS1's uniform list, but I'm sure at some stage he will have to have them...

Citrus81 Thu 12-Aug-10 07:08:21

Well not football boots as such, I just got him some astroturf trainers for pe, they'll do for football and any other outdoor sports really smile

norflondoner Mon 23-Aug-10 14:48:21

Less than two weeks to go now, how are we all feeling?!
We have been shopping, bought the pencil case, bag, pe shoes etc etc.Its all starting to feel real now smile

SoupDragon Mon 23-Aug-10 14:51:05


mine goes next Friday. thankfully for half a day and not in uniform. I'm not ready for him to be in blazer/tie/long trousers.


norflondoner Mon 23-Aug-10 17:52:19

long trousers?! Has he been in primary school uniform of shorts and "just william" type cap?

SoupDragon Mon 23-Aug-10 18:27:03

Not quite . He's been wearing polo shirt and shorts all summer term though. The whole blazer/trouser combo is rather too like a business suit and thus too grown up for my PFB baby. no shorts allowed any more.

SoupDragon Mon 23-Aug-10 18:30:51

I am coming at this whole secondary school lark from the position of a neglected third born child. I had to get the bus alone on my very first day, no molly coddling for me! I think its made me let go of DS1 rather more easily.

I just want the chubby cheeked Reception aged child back!

WilfShelf Mon 23-Aug-10 18:36:16

Me too. marking place to read later...

mmmperuna Mon 23-Aug-10 18:37:34

Eeek - its next week for DS - still haven't bought the full uniform as I had a feeling he was due a growth spurt - good job I didn't as he's grown best part of 3 inches since breaking up - how did that happen???

LynetteScavo Mon 23-Aug-10 18:41:15

Just marking my place... Only 2 weeks until the big day.

We have everything except the bus pass...without which he won't be able to get to school 13 miles away. shock I keep phoning to find out about it, and apparently it's on it's way.....

Caoimhe Mon 23-Aug-10 18:46:46

Ds has his settling in day a week on Friday (like SoupDragon) then starts properly the following Monday. We have bought the tons of regalia and I had a minor meltdown in the shop over the utter hideousness of the rugby shirt blush. His journey is easy, thank goodness - he could walk it if he wanted!!!!

SoupDragon Mon 23-Aug-10 18:53:12

Caoimhe, am i right in thinking it's actually the same school as my DS?

bigTillyMint Mon 23-Aug-10 19:06:13

Just got DD her school bag, after MUCH deliberation. And she chose a new lunch bag, even though she is going to give the school dinners a try.

I suddenly felt quite worried that she chose something cool enough. DH advised her to use her old bag (from Primary School) for the first week and then spot the kid with the coolest bag and get the same one! hmm

Just got to plough through the name-tapes now. smile

WilfShelf Mon 23-Aug-10 19:43:25

haha see I signed in under old name ages ago.

Uniform and sports kit bought, all the induction days were done and dusted last term: he loved it. All his new form were put together and did loads of activities. He loves his form tutor who is an art teacher (yay! he's such a science geek so will be good for him)

WilfShelf Mon 23-Aug-10 19:45:09

Can we talk about homework? I think DS is going to have at least an hour a day. I think I am going to start firm...

SoupDragon Mon 23-Aug-10 19:47:42

I am fully expecting homework to be A Battle. it is going to be a terrible shock for the poor boy coming from a school which had one piece per week.

LynetteScavo Mon 23-Aug-10 20:36:51

I know DS will start off keen with homework, but will probably then lose interest when he realises it eats into his boarding/scooting time.

Will he get a detention for not doing his homework? shock He's never really um....done any homework. blush

mmmperuna Mon 23-Aug-10 21:56:37

Oh yes homework was one 30 minute piece once a week and that was the cause of much stress (mine) and anger (his)

Dreading what it will be like when its an hour a night [scared]

kitakat Mon 23-Aug-10 23:04:19

KNow how you feel my pfb is starting high school in 2 weeks and my panic is starting to set in. Doesnt help that shes not keen to go - shes worrying about the size of the place and she is currently waiting for final assements for aspergers so im even more nervous of how she will cope and shes not good at concentrating.

It will be like reliving that first day at primary school all those years ago, except I wont even get to walk her to and from school (although she hasnt yet said I cant). She also starts a day earlier than her younger sisters so it will seem strange to send her to school but not the others.

MinaTannenbaum Mon 23-Aug-10 23:09:20

Anyone had a "my PFB is lost" anxiety dream yet? confused
While ds has been a bit anxious, I've been relaxed because I know he will love the school once he is settled. But for the last two nights I've had HORRIBLE dreams about missing children, wrong schools, etc etc

belledechocolatefluffybunny Mon 23-Aug-10 23:15:50


2 weeks to go here, I'm a little worried as I have PE stuff to get and have massivly overspent as I've been ill. I'm getting a tad tired of ds saying how sad he is that he'll never see his friends again (despite the fact that they are all on facebook and he'll see them once a week at a youth club). Are they all like this?

HSMM Tue 24-Aug-10 08:52:25

My DD starts on 8th Sept. We bought the uniform a couple of weeks ago. Got school shoes and trainers at the weekend.

Not looking forward to letting her go off to school alone on the public bus (and wondering if she'll get home). 1-1.5 hrs homework a night after hardly having any at primary school will be a challenge. I've never met her form tutor and don't know the layout of the school (got in at the end of July).

DD on the other hand is very excited and looking forward to her independence. Conned me into buying her some new pens she doesn't need at the weekend.

3plusbump Tue 24-Aug-10 09:09:09

Just signing in again for the final countdown

I've got uniform sorted but need to name it all.

Bus pass has not arrived yet which I'm stressing about - can't go on the bus without the pass (although as DH reminded me this morning - he doesn't need it for another 2 weeks!)

Those of you whose DC are going on the bus, are you sending them on the bus on the first day? The other two kids in our village who are starting the same school as DS1 are having their mums take them on the first day or two - I was going to send DS1 on the bus from the first day (This is what he wants to do) Am I being cruel?? confused

trefusis Tue 24-Aug-10 09:16:12

Message withdrawn

bigTillyMint Tue 24-Aug-10 09:36:05

3plus, I don't think you're being cruel - lucky you for having a DS who is keen to be independent envy

I am hoping to start the rule of come in, have snack, start homework. No TV till it's done. Does that sound harsh?

FrogPrincess Tue 24-Aug-10 09:58:49

Dd starts on 10th september, ages away! We're going away next week, and then we'll have 4 days before she goes in for a second morning induction, with just year 7s, all in their new uniform. I still have to get one more skirt, some tights and socks and a PE bag, other than that all name tags have been done so I am v impressed with myself!
She's excited but worried about being in the youngest year group again. I'm worried about the morning run and the traffic. She's had a good summer though so far and has grown up quite a bit I find, in her behaviour. We've re-arranged her bedroom and it looks very grown up now, she helped loads with it and is very proud of it, let's hope it remains tidy....

trefusis Tue 24-Aug-10 10:02:47

Message withdrawn

3plusbump Tue 24-Aug-10 12:05:55

Glad you don't think I'm being cruel!
To be honest I do have a logical reason for sending him on the bus on the first day - when I asked about it at the school they said that they are expecting loads of new year 7s on the buses on the first day so will have extra staff on bus duty to help out but by the end of the first week they will have expected them all to be used to it, so, if I take him the first week and he has his first day on the bus during the second week there will be less people to help if he does get stuck....

Also, selfishly, I'm 30 wks pregnant and have two other DCs to get to pre-school and primary so DC1 going on the bus will be much easier for me! grin

trefusis I'm sure the shoes that you have got her will be just fine. Did she like them when you chose them? Was it the clarks ballet flats? I thought they were lovely I don't think the shoe problem is quite so bad in yr7, I think it escalates as they go up the school.

deaddei Tue 24-Aug-10 12:27:24

Not cruel at all 3plusbump.
DS is at a 2 day summer school this week at new school- came back yesterday with the numbers of 3 boys he liked, and they are planning to meet up later this week.
Today they are going to Fulham FC training ground- the school has strong links with the club.
I drove him yesterday, but he came home and went today on the bus.
He'll be going in on the 1st day by bus- meeting about 4 friends at the end of the road.
He is my youngest, so I have been through this before- he is bright and lazy, and lacks self confidence at times.
But it is a brand new adventure- I have joined the PFA (that's 2 secondary schools I'll be doing!).
Homework for the first few days is a lot of sticky back plasticking of books- and they certainly get detentions from the first week in our school. Mind you, it makes them think twice about forgetting things!

PixieOnaLeaf Tue 24-Aug-10 14:21:38

Message withdrawn

3plusbump Tue 24-Aug-10 15:58:19

Thanks Pixie - that's good of you

Just off to make tea but will think about anything that's been niggling me and message you later

PixieOnaLeaf Tue 24-Aug-10 16:02:51

Message withdrawn

Caoimhe Tue 24-Aug-10 16:55:39

Arghh - labelling the uniform - torture!!!

Not only do I have to label the normal stuff but the games stuff all has to be labelled in a particular spot on each thing - they've given us a diagram !!!!!

Yes, SoupDragon - young Master Dragon and Caoimhain will be at the same school - small world!! << fear not, his name is nothing like Caoimhain smile >> What did you make of the rugby shirt? Why is it huge? And nasty looking?

trefusis Tue 24-Aug-10 17:01:33

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spudmasher Tue 24-Aug-10 17:04:06

Can't believe I only just found this thread! Where have I BEEN?!
We have a fly in the ointment of starting Year 7. I am already having bad dreams about it. DD has landed a part in a show- chance of a lifetime, dreams come true etc etc but it means she will miss about 75% of the first two weeks of school. After that, once she is no longer rehearsing she will only miss one Wednesday pm a fortnight.
I am VERY worried about the whole making friends thing and the fact that she will automatically be disliked by lots of people because of the show thing. She has asked not to tell anyone but obv. I have had to get school's permission for the license.
I am scared it's going to be an awful start.

SoupDragon Tue 24-Aug-10 17:17:21

please tell me Caoimhain isn't in 1L... I'm not sure I could stand the coincidence of that!! It would also mean i may have spoken to you at the new starters morning which would be a little freaky .
Rugby shirt is fine. Provided i don't touch it... nasty!
I think I made them bring him a size smaller when the one they chose came to his knees.

I think i still have to label the lab coat, tracksuit jacket (both huge - they'll last him till he leaves), the locker bag and the elusive rugby socks which a friend picked up yesterday. Why on earth do I have to put name tags on the outside of his rugby socks? Is it so they can identify his legs if they get ripped off during a particularly rough game? [wibble]

has anyone else had to have intensive tie tying lessons? Thankfully I wore a tie at school so I have been able to teach DS.

Spud, she'll be fine. It's only two weeks out of a good few years at the school. I think provided she's not the type to be boastful and talk incessantly about it, nothing will happen.

SoupDragon Tue 24-Aug-10 17:18:40

To make matters worse, my PLB starts Reception in 2 weeks too [sob] it's a tough year for me!

spudmasher Tue 24-Aug-10 17:23:30

Thanks for the sense SoupDragon. She's resilient and not a boasty girl. I always think the worst is going to happen. I'm more worried about it than she is. I will get a grip.
We have had the tie tying lesson. Not so easy to explain when you are looking at it upside down. I got my lefts and rights muddled up.

SoupDragon Tue 24-Aug-10 17:25:19

i had to practise tying one on myself back to front so DS could copy!

Caoimhe Tue 24-Aug-10 17:30:41

Fear not, SoupDragon - he has the pleasure of having the head of rugby as his form tutor!!!! That should be hilarious as ds is not built for rugby (to put it mildly).

The smallest rugby shirt was still enormous on him - the words "they will look like a bunch of clowns in those" may have passed my lips in the shop!!! blush

Luckily ds is used to the tie business.

SoupDragon Tue 24-Aug-10 17:43:59

i think one of DSs friends is in the rugby man's class. he is also not built for the sport

Caoimhe Tue 24-Aug-10 18:22:32

Luckily ds has one friend in his class - the rest have been split up and are all over the shop (he was a bit miffed about that at the beginning).

How is your name labelling going? I know one mum has got a local seamstress to do the games kit as she was so concerned about doing it wrong!!!! grin

SoupDragon Tue 24-Aug-10 20:05:19

I think i have 5 things left to label. my fingertips are shredded, although i did sew the big tags on with my sewing machine.

DS has one boy from his school ( from a different class) and two boys he met at a friend's birthday party last week who were in the junior year in his class.

Caoimhe Tue 24-Aug-10 21:58:55

<< Big confession time >> I have done no labelling at all !!! I'm in big trouble!!

deaddei Wed 25-Aug-10 11:00:35

Actually today is a good day to label things as the weather is going to be crap.
I was going to pay one of dd's friends to do the sewing, but she's on holiday.

SoupDragon Wed 25-Aug-10 12:38:30

You'll get a detention, made to stay in at lunchtime with a needle and thread.

SoupDragon Wed 25-Aug-10 12:39:57

how inconsiderate of your proposed sewing friend to be away!

DS1 is booked for his pre- school haircut on Monday. He'll lose all his sun bleached locks. [sigh]

deaddei Wed 25-Aug-10 12:44:20

Mine came home last week after dh took him to the barbers looking like a Millwall fan....I have had time to get used to it now, but it was short. However it emphasises his big eyes and long eyelashes, so hopefully his teachers won't earmark him as a thug smile

3plusbump Wed 25-Aug-10 13:15:54

Don't get me started on haircuts....

Ex-dh thinks that DS1 needs to start secondary school with some sort of crew cut. He has a shaggy sunbleached skater-dude look going on at the moment. He's happy to have a trim but doesn't want it all cut off. I'm not going to make him either. Might suggest that ex-dh goes and waits outside school on the first day to see that about 75% of boys at the school have the same style as DS1 is currently sporting grin

Oh, and pixie, have not forgotten you! Am waiting for DS1 to get home from his dad's tomorrow so can I can ask him if there is anything he's worried about

PixieOnaLeaf Wed 25-Aug-10 15:22:03

Message withdrawn

roisin Wed 25-Aug-10 15:31:46

The boys both need haircuts.

Mostly all sorted but I can't find 2 boot bags, 1 pr of football boots and 2 pairs of shin pads! Where can they be?! hmm

SoupDragon Wed 25-Aug-10 16:28:30

DS1 needs to have his off the collar and out of his eyes. He aims to have it as long as possible within those parameters!

The boot bag etc are either in the garage, up in the loft or, if it's like my house, still mouldering in the car/hall/bedroom from last season.

Caoimhe Wed 25-Aug-10 18:01:10

Gaaah!! Haircut - I need to sort that out too!!! Where has the summer gone?

I can't face this stupid sewing - I'm going to have a drink!!!!!! grin

SoupDragon Wed 25-Aug-10 18:39:51

Do NOT sew the labels on after drinking. your son will not only be ridiculed for wearing a rugby shirt like a dress but also for having wonky and upside down name tape on it.

Rugby socks are utterly ridiculous. Will look FAB with the oversized shirt and little legs.

trefusis Wed 25-Aug-10 20:14:51

Message withdrawn

roisin Thu 26-Aug-10 08:59:23

Dh kindly volunteered to do the labels on ds2's rugby socks... (They weren't in stock when we picked up the uniform and came a week or so later.)

I was sorting out PE bags and stuff with ds2 yesterday and realised the sewing on the socks is a bag of hammers! It's just tacking and goes right through to the other side of the sock. It looks ridiculous.

FrogPrincess Thu 26-Aug-10 09:02:49

grin at wonky upside down labels, I had to redo the first two I did because my sewing skills, which are minimal at the best of times, had become worse since the last time I had the pleasure of sewing labels. This year I also had to sew the school badge onto the blazer. Urgh, to think I'll have to do it again one day.
Only have two more name tags to do, and buy a PE bag big enough but not too big. Oh, and pencils and pens. And another stash of tights in case I can never find her size again.
And finally, I have had my first nightmare about starting secondary school last night: we managed to get her to school late, in the wrong uniform, and she had to join a PE class (she's not keen on it) in which everyone seemed to be in home clothes, and she had to wait at the back with the naughty boys, one of whom gave her a huge grin when she arrived. I'm not telling her that dream!

FrogPrincess Thu 26-Aug-10 09:04:54

Oh, and now I feel guilty with all your talk of sewing labels onto socks as I chickened out this time and just wrote her initials in big black indelible pen at the bottom of her hockey socks. Will that do miss?

roisin Thu 26-Aug-10 09:19:55

FrogPrincess - yes, that will absolutely do. But it doesn't work on black football socks! Argh!

GrimmaTheNome Thu 26-Aug-10 14:01:03

Thank goodness for marker pens - most of the kit has write-on-able labels.

I gave up on sewing name labels when DD was still in infants - except for the games socks for which really there's no alternative. I've not done those yet because I thought that as DD takes a size 3 in some footwear, the size starting at 3 1/2 would be fine... of course they are enormous. Fortunately they are just generic football socks and I dare say they'll fit her in about year 10 but its so annoying to have everything except the socks.
Oh, and the tracksuit which despite being ordered in July is likely not to show up till October hmm - hopefully won't be too cold before then. Oh, and the gumshield - DH started fussing about it and wanted to order the expensive kit with plaster trays etc till DD pointed out that as she's still shedding and growing teeth it was far more sensible to get the cheap remouldable sort like the one she lost in yr 6.

3plusbump Thu 26-Aug-10 16:19:43

I have also resorted to the black marker pen for naming sports socks but have been advised that after the first energetic sports session Ds1's initials will have transferred from bottom of socks to bottom of feet.....whoops! blush

Caoimhe Thu 26-Aug-10 17:24:48

Oh lord, if only black marker pen was an option. Even normal name tapes (as in the Cash's type) are not permitted on the sports kit. You have to buy special woven nametape which then must be sewn on kit as per the bl**dy diagram provided.

And I still haven't started - oh god, where's the wine again?

SoupDragon Thu 26-Aug-10 17:31:42

And the special name tapes have to be on the outside so everyone can see what sewing skills your mother (or other relative/paid help) has.

castille Thu 26-Aug-10 17:34:39

Hello, can I join? She's not my PFB but I am almost stressing more about DD2 heading for secondary than I did about DD1 two years ago!

We live in France where cohort rules are different so although DD2 is only 10 she must move upis far too chaotic and dopey to go to secondary school. She won't be at the same school as her sister either so must manage the bus etc on her own.

Today we sorted out her bus pass, bought more jeans and tops (oh how I wish they had uniform), trendy pencil case as dictated by DD1, and marker pen, though I can almost guarantee that bus pass and numerous other items will have gone missing within a fortnightwink

Caoimhe Thu 26-Aug-10 17:55:24

Of course you can join, castille. It must be stressful if your dd2 is heading to a different school!!

Oh yes, SoupDragon, thanks for that reminder grin - indeed my ds (and yours smile) will be displaying their parent's sewing skills to the whole school...............
<< cries softly in the corner >>

LadyCad Thu 26-Aug-10 18:08:35

dinosaur, you are not alone, DS can't tie his either. We've managed to find everyday shoes with velcro straps (after watching him grapple with laces for half of the last school year, then slip his shoes on for the rest), but god only knows how long it'll take him to get his football boots on.

Poor boy, he really does try, he's a good lad.

He's terrified of the rugby too.

LadyCad Thu 26-Aug-10 18:10:58

Oooh, and Citrus too I see smile

castille Thu 26-Aug-10 18:34:29

My sewing skills will be tested to their limit tonight - I have to sew ribbons and elastic onto DD's first pair of pointe shoes for ballet. DD is nervous

<stabs self with needle>

roisin Thu 26-Aug-10 20:38:48

"You have to buy special woven nametape which then must be sewn on kit as per the bl**dy diagram provided.

And the special name tapes have to be on the outside so everyone can see what sewing skills your mother (or other relative/paid help) has."

PMSL at this! Ha ha ha! smile smile

ds1 (13 now) was terrified of rugby too. After his first real match at school I asked how it had gone and commented on how clean his kit was. He said "it was OK actually. I managed to stay out of the way of the ball the whole time!" grin grin

SoupDragon Thu 26-Aug-10 21:08:09

I'm hoping DS gets covered in mud so that no one can see his name tapes. particularly the ones I have to sew visibly on his sodding socks as I fear they aren't going to go well.

kid Thu 26-Aug-10 21:40:14

My PFB is starting secondary school in 8 days. I haven't even got all of her uniform yet let alone started labelling anything.

She is meant to be practising the route to and from school during the holiday so she is confident with it. But so far, we haven't done it at all. God, what am I going to do when she has to go all be herself sad
I'll be at work so can't really take her. Could drop her at someones house that lives closer, or drop her near the school so she is early but not too early. My way of dealing with it was not to think about it. But time is running out and now I will have to think about it and actually arrange something.

Her first day is sorted, DH has the day off and will take her and collect her.

roisin Thu 26-Aug-10 22:11:22

Does she have a very long way to go kid?
dh took ds2 on the bus for his first induction day, but for the second he went on his own and was fine.

There are always other children heading in the same direction in the same uniform, so it's not like they'll get lost.

And anyway finding a parent's car in the melee at the end of school can be far harder than finding the bus stop or finding the route home!

kid Thu 26-Aug-10 22:18:21

there aren't any buses that go that way. There are a few routes she could take but I haven't worked out which is the safest option. She will have to walk close to or pass another secondary school to get to her one.

She is so tiny, she doesn't even go out without us. She plays out with friends and goes to the local shop on her own (its very local!) but thats it.

I think we will have to do lots of walking to and from the schoo between now and the 5th sept. I'll let her lead the way and just keep right back.

She is sensible so I shouldn't worry really, but I just know I will. There are a few roads she will have to cross with no zebra crossing or traffic lights, those are the ones I will worry about.
Arghh, why can't she just go back to reception again until I am ready to let her go big school? grin

castille Fri 27-Aug-10 08:41:40

Getting to school is a scary business (for parents, anywaygrin)

kid - is there anyone she could travel with? Anyone else local going to the same school?

DD2 has to take two buses, involving a change at the big changeover stop in the city centre. DD1 does the same journey (the 2 schools are in the same street, coincidentally) but they won't necessarily start at the same time and they definitely don't finish at the same time so she will be on her own mostly. She says she is more nervous about the buses than she is about school!

SoupDragon Fri 27-Aug-10 09:09:16

I got round the whole travel to school worry by booking DS onto the school bus

Grandpa Fri 27-Aug-10 10:43:22

With all this angst about moving from primary to secondary school for both mums and children, have we ever stopped to ask why children are obliged to leave a small friendly school where the kids all know each other and the teachers know all the kids (and most of their parents), to a large, impersonal, scary place full of much larger kids they don't know - and often a long way from home; and all this just as their brains are going through an enormous development?

Caoimhe Fri 27-Aug-10 10:43:30

Kid, I understand your apprehension! If she is little it makes it so much worse (for you, that is smile).

As you say, the only thing to do is to do the journey with her several times so she is more confident.

Ds has now announced that he wants to go to school on the bus hmm and has asked me to show him how (even bigger hmm). This journey will involve a walk to the bus stop, getting on any bus, and getting off after 2 stops. By the way the buses have automatic announcements and at the stop where he needs to get off it actually says the name of the school. Not exactly complicated......
Why won't he just walk?

Good thinking about the school bus, SoupDragon.

miso Fri 27-Aug-10 10:56:09

Grandpa, I guess it depends on the child - DD was at a one form entry primary school & found the last year or so pretty stifling (more socially than academically)- she can't wait to move up to big school!

Having said that, I grew up with infants / middle school / upper school which I feel is a much more natural progression, & would probably have suited DD better too.

Mind you, 2 rounds of admissions instead of one would just about do me in, I think.

onceamai Fri 27-Aug-10 11:07:04

Why all the angst. Our daughter starts secondary school on 6th September. She is more than ready to move on and more than capable of travelling three stops on the tube to get there. Roll on specialist subject teaching and raising the bar. It's time to grow up. Both her great grandfathers started work on their 14th birthdays!!

SoupDragon Fri 27-Aug-10 11:35:54

I'm suffering no angst bar the realisation that the chubby little baby i brought home from hospital, the cute little reception boy whose cheeks I want to squeeze has grown up enough to go to secondary school. where he will have a fabulous time and about which I am actually very excited.

however, I am not excited about the amount of label sewing I have had to do Or the fact that I have lost his 11-15 Oyster card by putting it in A Safe Place.

Grandpa Fri 27-Aug-10 11:49:22

Miso and Oncemai, of course, you're both right. Kids develop different things at different speeds - physically, intellectually and emotionally. They learn different things at different ages too; a little boy (aged 7 I believe) got an A* at GCSE maths the other day. The whole concept of school as a sort of age-related sausage machine is really no way to run a system of education. We need to ask, first of all, 'what is education for?' (not 'what are schools for?'). Then we can design a system that caters for the individual needs and stage of deveopment that suits every unique child.

deaddei Fri 27-Aug-10 12:52:33

Kid -definitely make time to do the journey a few times. Starting secondary school can be difficult enough, but if there is the fear of getting lost/being late.....
Ds has a 15 minute bus journey, and has done it about 10 times, simply enjoying hopping on and off the bus. Simple pleasures!
He has gone into town today to get dad's birthday present....and probably sneak a milk shake in too.
I love the fact that they have freedom with their bus passes - dd will happily spend all day going round the area on the bus, and has an indepth knowledge of SW London bus routes now.

trefusis Fri 27-Aug-10 13:17:00

Message withdrawn

castille Fri 27-Aug-10 13:46:33

Yes the travel worries are temporary, just until they get the hang of it, but the organisational stuff, oh dear. DD2 has always been totally chaotic. DD1 spent a whole day in her room with her last week, sorting things out and tidying up. She told her "you'll never manage if you don't keep your things tidy" at which DD2 looked horrified.

Jux Fri 27-Aug-10 14:43:20

My dd was in tears last night saying she just wanted to go back to primary school. I said every single kid going up to year 7 will have said that some time these holidays. She cheered up a bit then.

Travel's a worry though.

MinaTannenbaum Fri 27-Aug-10 16:44:43

I agree. Ds can't wait for the academic side of things to get going (he has a lab coat which he thinks bodes well), but travel is something else. He uses public transport regularly but always with me or dh. He has a London train ride and then a walk. I am sure it will be fine once he's actually doing it - as Roisin says, loads of kids going the same way in the same kit.

trefusis Fri 27-Aug-10 16:51:48

Message withdrawn

castille Fri 27-Aug-10 17:00:28

DD2 definitely wants to get started, she's ready for the challenge academically but having seen how different DD1 has become since starting secondary, she is a bit scared of the emotional side/peer pressure/fitting in, particularly as only one of her friends is going to the same school.

roisin Fri 27-Aug-10 19:02:47

ds2 just rolls his eyes now when I talk about being organised. I think he'll be OK though - I was more worried about ds1 (space cadet), and he was 100% fine.

My boys have always had quite a lot of freedom and are well used to finding their way around independently. ds2 has been walking (0.6 m) to school alone since he was 7 or 8 (including crossing roads).

I'm a bit hmm about children who've not had the opportunity to develop road sense and so on by this age.

For ds1 the change to subject specialist teachers had a dramatic effect on his learning and - along with setting for academic subjects - is definitely worth the challenges of a large (7-form entry) school.

kid Sat 28-Aug-10 07:25:13

My dd knows how to
cross roads, she does cross them on her own but mainly when I'm there. When she goes to the local shop, she has to cross 2 side streets. It doesn't stop ne from worrying though.

I need to pick what I consider to be the safest route and stick to it. Best get started with teaching her the route today, less than a week to go!

3plusbump Sat 28-Aug-10 11:35:11

I agree with you kid. You know deep down that they will be ok doing all of these new things but it doesn't stop you worrying does it? I'm sure if you go through the route a few times before then, she'll be fine. When your DH takes her on the first day, will he have time to walk with her? That might help

We got DS1 his own house key cut yesterday so that he can let himself in, as there will be some nights when I will be collecting the younger children / taking them to activities when DS1's bus gets in. Again, I know really that he will be fine - it's just new and different and something for me to worry about!

kid Sat 28-Aug-10 18:19:00

I gave her a mobile phone recently. I was a bit unsure at first but now I'm pleased. It's an old handset on a cheap contract that can be cancelled at any time.
She is a bit of a pest though as she keeps texting silly messages to people. I was hoping the novelty would have worn off by now!

I managed to get the rest of her uniform
today so at least she can go in the complete uniform now.

Caoimhe Sun 29-Aug-10 22:00:22

Good grief - I have to sew a name label on the sports bag - how am I supposed to do that?

castille Mon 30-Aug-10 08:41:29

So when is D-day for all of you?

DD2 starts on Thursday. It is a short introductory day for the new ones only (+ parents! We get a tour of the school while she is with her form tutor, we have lunch with her, meet some teachers then come home at 2pm. Friday is a day off for the new ones - first day for the rest of the school - and she starts properly on Monday.

deaddei Mon 30-Aug-10 08:47:22

Friday for us.
A normal day- 8.40 registration.
That will be a shock to the system!
There are 8 of them meeting at the end of the road to get the bus.

gorionine Mon 30-Aug-10 08:54:54

"My dd was in tears last night saying she just wanted to go back to primary school. I said every single kid going up to year 7 will have said that some time these holidays. She cheered up a bit then."

Jux that is true! DDis super exited at staring high school but has several teary moments remembering primary school during this holiday.

WRT transport, I think it is one of my main worries, even though the bus stop is visible from my house. To make sure I do not pass that onto DD I decided she would take the bus on the first day (she asked several time if we could get her there the first day as apparently all her friends will get a lift on that day) I think if she cracks it right from the start it will give her more confidence (and me smile)

Schooluniform still not 100% complete, I am pulling my hair a bit! but, for the first time in years I am looking foreward to the l;abelling of clothes because DH got me my very own "label machine" yesterday!

roisin Mon 30-Aug-10 09:29:42

D-Day is Monday for us.

Yr7s just start at 8.40 am with the rest of the school, no staggered starts or anything! I think they all have extended registrations - to copy out their timetables etc and a whole school assembly.

It will be a long and tiring week, but once he's cracked that week he'll be flying.

trefusis Mon 30-Aug-10 09:30:20

Message withdrawn

roisin Mon 30-Aug-10 09:31:17

He lost his wallet on the induction day (it was handed in with the cash intact smile ), but it's made me observe him more closely this summer and he is very scatty with his stuff. So I'm labelling everything twice and not holding my breath.

I've told him I will pay replacement cost for first lost item, 50% of next and after that he will have to pay himself.

deaddei Mon 30-Aug-10 10:10:31

dd lost 11 items of uniform in year 7.
I made her pay £100 out of her savings, as it was sheer carelessness.
Amazingly, nothing lost at all in yr 8 smile

kid Mon 30-Aug-10 10:49:38

DD starts Friday at 8:40 for the whole day along with years 11 and 12.
She is going to walk there this morning. I'll go with her but at a distance.
Wonder how many times we should do the route. I've picked a straight forward journey but it involves several side streets to cross. She'll be fine though, I'm sure.

I still have to get her blazer adjusted, the arms are too long!

deaddei Mon 30-Aug-10 12:07:51

Is she going to walk with a friend kid?
Always helps.

magentadreamer Mon 30-Aug-10 12:24:06

Kid, how far does your DD have to walk to school? I would walk the route with her in the next day or so but come Friday let her walk by herself if she's happy, she'll be fine I'm sure. My Dd is going into Yr9 on Thursday and I remember the worries I had about her crossing the main road near us. DD on her first day went into a bit of a melt down and she suddenly realised she didn't know where she had to go once she got to the school. In the end her Dad took her and there where several other parents there.After that DD refused any parental company on the walk to school.

Good luck to all the Yr7 DC.

bigTillyMint Mon 30-Aug-10 12:50:02

DD starts on Friday. It is just a Y7 induction day, and she will finally find out about her form and tutor! She is nervously looking forward to it, I think! DH is taking her in and picking up and hopefully she will be getting the school bus with friends next week.

Think I'm finally done with sewing in labels for her and DS, hurrah!

kid Mon 30-Aug-10 13:53:25

Dd will walk on her own until she makes friends. None of the children from her primary live near us.

I'm not worried about her not knowing where to go once she gets to school as staff meet children at the gate. She will also be assigned a buddy to help her settle in.

I'll time it today but guess it's a 20-25 minute walk. She could get a bus half way but if there isn't one coming, she'll be late!

roisin Mon 30-Aug-10 17:17:33

I was all set to send the boys in to school on Monday. Fortunately I just checked the school website and they don't start back until Tuesday! shock

I don't know where I got my misinformation from.

belledechocolatefluffybunny Mon 30-Aug-10 17:19:52

ds is in for 2 hours on Tuesday and then normal hours after this. We are going shoe/blazer shopping tomorrow. (stress)

kid Mon 30-Aug-10 17:27:26

We tested the walk today and it did take 25 minutes at a slow stroll which will no doubt be how DD walks!

There are quite a few routes she could take but the one we did today will keep her on main roads and will also keep her out of the path of other secondary schools. I would like to think there would be no trouble but you never can be sure. I have seen some schools gang up on kids from another school and don't want that to happen.

She can even jump on any bus for part of the way, just 2 stops. As long as she is clear that if the bus is not there she is not to hang around waiting for it. I'd prefer her to get to school early rather than late.

I feel much happier now she knows the route and she will be doing it again a few times this week. I might leave her to do it alone and I'll drive down to the school to pick her up. She is so tiny though!

belledechocolatefluffybunny Mon 30-Aug-10 18:06:14

Ds needs to catch a bus and a tram which is literally around the corner from where the bus drops him off, the school is 2 stops on the tram and across a road. He'll be OK (worried) I'll do a few days with him, there should be boys on the same bus though (worried)

I don't know whether to collect him (for a little while) though as the bus coming home is on the other side of a very busy road?? confusedIs it better to just give him a mobile phone and let him get on with it?

kid Mon 30-Aug-10 19:09:32

I think its better to meet him after school until you feel happy he can do it safely and sensibly.

How does he feel about doing the journey on his own?

belledechocolatefluffybunny Mon 30-Aug-10 19:21:03

He said he'd have to try it. I can't take him over, I won't have time. I know he'll be OK, he just has to walk around the corner and get on the tram.
He misses his friends from primary school so isn't looking forwards to starting. I hope he'll be OK once he's there. All I've had all summer is "I'm sad"

kid Mon 30-Aug-10 20:07:07

Ahh, poor thing. Hope he cheers up once he starts new school.

DD changed schools in November. It took her ages to settle and although she got on okay after a few months, she never really had the chance to make any good friends.

In a way, I am glad she is away from a certain circle of girls that made each day difficult for her. They didn't bully her or anything, but they didn't make her feel welcome either.

At least with secondary school, everyone is in the same boat. I know it was the right thing to move primary school, but I wish I didn't feel so guilty about it at the time.

I go back to work Wednesday, its gone so fast and I literally have to get everything ready tomorrow for DCs return to school.

deaddei Tue 31-Aug-10 08:58:50

Belle- I'd let him come home himself- he will probably have met other boys during the day who are going the same way home.
Ds would be mortified if I came to pick him up- I think he's looking forward to the travelling more than anything!
He is meeting up today and tomorrow with boys he met last week at the summer school the secondary organised- he got the numbers of 4 or 5 boys he liked, and they've been texting all weekend.

PixieOnaLeaf Tue 31-Aug-10 10:38:13

Message withdrawn

castille Tue 31-Aug-10 11:39:45

Just been to into primary school to drop off 4yo DS's things and say hello to his teacher. DD2 wanted to come, and various of her friends from last year were there too with their younger siblings, so the big ones ran around like old times trying to forget that they were all off to new schools on Thursday. Her favourite teachers were there too, she didn't want to come homesad

Pengimum Tue 31-Aug-10 12:35:30

help my lovely DS, also my first born, will be starting at a London comp far from home on friday - his journey will take an hour and will involve a bus and two tube trains....only one other boy from his primary will be going....ofcourse i iwll take himand collect him on his first day ( a Y7only induction day) ...but what should i do after that... i think i am more nervous tha he is ...he will have to start playing