My 14 year old son started boarding school in September.We have lived in the Middle East for over 10 years. He is an extremely good sportsman, and the opportunities for him to play at a higher level just don't exist where we are living. He has aspirations to play professionally. Schools here also, in my opinion, provide a pretty mediocre academic education as well.
Therefore we found a school back in the UK that has a huge empahsis on the sport of his choice with close links to professional clubs, and an approach that agreed with our ethos of eduaction.
After 8 weeks, however, our son is having real trouble settling at his new boarding school. He is doing very well in his lessons and absolutely great at the sport but he is really suffering with what I can only describe as "separation anxiety" which really gets him down during quiet times.... In the mornings, at study sessions, and at the weekends when some of his mates have disappeared back home.
He is not very good at filling his time, which was automatically done for him here, at home of course!!
He is now saying that he doesn't want to carry on with it anymore.He says he wants to come back to the Middle East, and get back to a "normal life"
We are certain that this would be a backwards step for him, and one that he would regret. We are determined to help make it work as we know that he could flourish at the school. We have even discussed the possibility of his sister and I moving back to the UK earlier than we had planned, so that he could see us more often.
It certainly didn't help that my mum passed away after battling cancer, just over two weeks ago and of course he came out of school for the funeral.
That was his first experience of someone passing away and that's all in the mix too!
He's only been there 8 weeks!! He's now coming home at half term next week. We are hoping that when he sees that nothing has changed, us, his mates etc then he will realise that life isn't moving forward without him. He's just this week got himself in a real pickle with his feelings.
It's just heartbreaking to be receiving texts and calls from him when he is really upset. I've been shedding plenty of tears too. How long do we perservere?. Its so hard to see my confident, happy, sociable, popular boy riddled with anxiety.
I've arranged for him to see a teen counsellor a couple of times while he is back, over the half term break. Hopefully she can help him with his anxieties and provide him with some coping strategies when he gets down, and to help him move forward. He is very very good at talking about it, and indeed wants to.
Does anybody have any pearls of wisdom to share? I really cannot believe that he would be one of the small minority that cant get on with boarding school. How long did it take for your child to settle in? How did you help them past this phase?
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Boarding school - settling in woes
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user1477382925 · 25/10/2016 09:33
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