Reassurance needed- dd was the only one who didn't come knowing anyone at school induction day

(15 Posts)
2StripedSocks Thu 07-Jul-16 17:35:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Savagebeauty Thu 07-Jul-16 17:36:54

Did she say hello to anyone?
I'm amazed the teachers didn't notice

leccybill Thu 07-Jul-16 17:40:17

Ah that must have been a little sad for her. No experience but as a secondary teacher, who used to do all the Y6 to Y7 transition- I hope I can reassure you that we constantly look out for kids on their own, and organise lots of ice breaker activities for Sept.
We make sure they all know about all of the clubs on offer and direct them there if needed.
I would never see a child on their own. Even if I plonked myself next to them in the canteen to eat my sandwiches.
She'll find her people. Don't worry.
Easier said than done I know.

2StripedSocks Thu 07-Jul-16 17:42:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

swingofthings Thu 07-Jul-16 18:25:12

DD experienced this when she started Y7. All came from the two/three local schools, but we had just moved in the area and knew no-one. It is never easy when you join a group of people who know each other, but it is an excellent learning experience, even if not the most pleasant at the time.

It took a few weeks but she then became friend with one girl and then gradually became friends with more. By the end of the year, everyone had forgotten who came from which primary school.

The same happened to DS but was even worse for him because he started in year 4 when they had all been in the same class since reception but again, by the end of the year, his friends actually forgot that he came from a different school.

Savagebeauty Thu 07-Jul-16 18:32:56

I would have a word with the school and explain the situation. They should do all they can to make settling in a positive experience.

Badbadbunny Thu 07-Jul-16 18:57:19

Try to find out the school's philosophy of seating in the classrooms. At our son's school, each subject teacher allocated seating in their classrooms, to break up the cliques and get everyone mingling properly - works especially well in classes like science where there's several kids on the same workbench. They did it that way for the first year in all classes, then it was teacher discretion in year 2 (some did some didn't) but in the third year, it was a free-for-all where the teacher just moved people due to low level disruption etc. Seemed to work well - your DD's school may do the same.

Peebles1 Thu 07-Jul-16 21:25:31

This happened to my DD. I felt quite despondent as she hated her induction days and as a result rather dreaded the September start. However, she made friends straight away in September and still has them now (18 yrs old now)

Hope your DD settles in and makes some good friends.

leccybill Thu 07-Jul-16 23:05:47

Do they offer a Summer School?
My place and I work in it- it's a brilliant way to get kids mixing. It's so heartening to see friendships forming.

littledrummergirl Thu 07-Jul-16 23:06:16

Ds1 knew No one when he started, didn't gel at all with his tutor group but made some brilliant friends at the club's I made him he chose to do.
By Easter of yr7 he was settled and didn't look back as they mixed the yr up with ability sets in yr8 and he found himself with his friends.
He has loved his experiences at secondary and wouldn't have had it any other way.

Badbadbunny Fri 08-Jul-16 08:04:14

On the flip side, I was a "clingy" child and at the time I started secondary was delighted by best friend was in the same form (lived opposite and always sat with me at primary). So secondary was just an extension, we usually sat together, spent breaks together etc., and neither of us mixed as we didn't feel we needed to.

Of course, everyone else made new friends, we didn't. Then when it came to setting and options, there were hardly any lessons we had together. Everyone else had made their friend groups and weren't really interested when we tried to integrate, so we both had a fairly lonely few years.

Autumnsky Fri 08-Jul-16 10:55:01

No need to worry if she generally makes friends fine. Once the school start in September, she will have the chance talk to classmates who sit beside her, and girls go to same club etc.

DS1 went to secondary school with a few friends from his primary, but the secondary school is much bigger, none of his friends is in his class, he quickly made new friends in his class.

bojorojo Fri 08-Jul-16 22:51:08

I think it was a great pity the school did not conduct "getting to know you" exercises involving everyone. It seems a bit short sighted to have the children for a whole day but just let them stay with their existing friends. However, don't worry. Most children find like minded friends. Often primary school friendships do not last and new children are more appealing! It is important to have a circle of friends. There will be so many new possibilities. When it comes to the actual routines of school, and how classes are organised, most children do not cling on to one existing friend.

grumpysquash3 Sat 09-Jul-16 20:38:39

My DC1 and DC2 went to the year 7 induction day (end of y6) without knowing a soul. The secondary school was our catchment school but they had been at an out of catchment primary.

DC1 found a 'friend' in the class who also didn't know anyone and hooked up. They are still friends now (year 10). DC2 felt a bit intimidated by groups of girls who clearly all knew each other and hung around on the periphery hoping that someone would speak to her (which they did. Then it turned out that the group didn't actually all know each other....). When she got into year 7 she found that there were groups of girls from the various primaries who were actually a bit bored of each other and enjoyed getting to know new people. She had a very big friendship group by halfway through year 7.

vjg13 Sun 10-Jul-16 15:34:50

My daughter knew no one when she started and the others had come from 2-3 feeder primaries. She went on several induction days and despite not knowing anyone was very keen. She has made a really good group of 6/7 friends and settled well, now year 8. She would tell us nothing initially about her friends but I did my best to play it cool, whilst silently freaking out!

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