Not sure which option to take!

(15 Posts)
ShouldHavePlayedItCooler Tue 24-May-16 13:57:04

Please help, big decision to make! DD and DS currently both at private school. I'm getting divorced and my ex has stopped paying the fees. I can't afford to pay them from my own salary.

Option A: My mum has offered to pay the fees for one year by which time the settlement should have come through and then I can keep paying the fees myself from that. However, it's a gamble, as of course I may not win enough to do this in the settlement (I'm guessing I'm about 80% likely to end up with enough cash).

Option B: I move them to a state school right away. I have been applying to state schools and have found an outstanding one that I am happy with, although would still far prefer the private school for many reasons (it is familiar, the level of teaching is very high, they have formed solid friendships there, and lessons are taught through their second language which I'm afraid they'll lose if they leave).

To add another spanner to the works, my DD will be entering Year 7, so if she has to move schools, I want her to move this September so she will start at the same time as all the other Year 7s and have the best chance of making new friends. Also, if my gamble fails, I will have to give up this outstanding state school option and we may not get another such good offer in Year 8. What would you do?

Ladymuck Tue 24-May-16 16:17:14

Definitely move your DD - it is a natural transition point. What year is your DS in?

hertsandessex Tue 24-May-16 17:14:09

I totally agree regarding DD moving into year 7. If you have the option of an outstanding state school then grab it. You will feel so much more relaxed without the problem of fees and she will do fine. She might well miss out on language or some other things but then you might have the money and time to supplement these things out of school (extra language lessons, sports clubs, etc). Harder with DS but if for example he is in year 8 or 9 then move now before GCSEs start in earnest. You don't want to have to move him in year 10. If you can afford it maybe he could stay until year 11 and then move to same school at DD (generally more options to get into a good state school for sixth form than year 7.)

ShouldHavePlayedItCooler Tue 24-May-16 18:50:05

Thanks to you both smile

DS is younger, in Year 4 (the private school has a primary and secondary section). It's a good plan to try to keep him there a bit longer, will aim for him to stay until the end of primary.

The state school does not have a 6th form, which is another concern, so it's good to hear that it's easier to get in to a good school at that point.

catslife Tue 24-May-16 19:29:08

My dds comprehensive school does provide support for dcs who have a second language (even if it's one the school doesn't teach) and often they have the opportunity to take the GCSE early. If the language is one the school already teaches i.e. German, French or Spanish they may join with older pupils rather than their peers who are beginning to learn the language.
It isn't unusual for dcs to start secondary school not knowing anyone BTW and usually there are induction activities to help dcs make new friends.
I have a dd in Y11 and usually they have to reapply for sixth form even if they are already at a school that has one iyswim and also sixth forms take applicants from other schools as well.

ShouldHavePlayedItCooler Tue 24-May-16 20:00:31

Thanks, that's good to hear. The language will be one the school teaches, so I'm hoping DS can take this GCSE early and get extra support to keep it going (she's currently fluent and I don't want her to lose that). The school I've found does have an induction weekend away, which I think is wonderful and will definitely do if we go for this school! I guess I'll worry about 6th form when we get there, it's a shame to have to move schools yet again, but I guess it is a natural transition point as well, and all useful for learning to make friends.

BoGrainger Tue 24-May-16 20:09:58

I can't tell from your posts if your dd has been offered a place at the state school. Year 7 allocations are over and if it is outstanding then the likelihood of a place is not good if you haven't applied yet or are on the waiting list. Good luck though! Hard decisions to make.

ShouldHavePlayedItCooler Tue 24-May-16 20:38:46

Yes, we have a firm offer! So it's just a question of which school to pick (although the private one is a bit of a gamble..!)

BoGrainger Tue 24-May-16 20:39:56

Oh good!

Balletgirlmum Tue 24-May-16 20:42:18

Did your ex sign the application form when your children started at the private school (most insist both parents sign). If so he is legally liable for the fees.

I would agree to perhaps move your dd but be aware you will probably have to pay the September term fees in lieu (I had to when dd decided at exactly this point in the year she wasn't going to go to private senior school)

SaltyMyDear Wed 25-May-16 06:10:48

Move your DD in Sep.

And if that goes well you can move your DS when he gets to Y7.

mummytime Wed 25-May-16 07:17:19

If you are in a sixth form college area - you are very fortunate. It is a natural break time, and in my area lots of students leave private schools to go to sixth form colleges. It is great preparation for University, and often young people have just "outgrown" school by that age.

ShouldHavePlayedItCooler Mon 30-May-16 14:35:02

Thanks so much to all for your help. I will be aware that may have to pay September either way but am pretty sure we will be going for the Year 7 state school option. We are very lucky that we were offered this place and don't want to risk losing it, and it is a natural transition point.

Coconutty Mon 30-May-16 22:25:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShouldHavePlayedItCooler Mon 30-May-16 22:44:58

Thanks Coconutty! Unfortunately you need the nationality of the relevant country to qualify for a bursary and we don't have it. But I will do all I can to keep the language going.

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