Yr 10 Set to fail GCSEs- worth going private to resit yr 10 & do yr 11?

[SortingStuffStill]

Currently depressed, lazy, insomniac and utterly unmotivated at local state school, set to fail all GCSEs on current predictions. Up most nights and missed much of last term and most of this so far. School offering v v little help whatsoever, chuck them out at 245pm each day ( h with s pile of homework and have left dc to it. Dream of Dc being in an environment with more support, ,longer school day, homework and activities done at school. Finding it hard to hold down my own job, currently for one thing! But who knows, dc may baulk at this option also so wasting money as well as time. Maybe we should let him go ahead into yr 11 and fail, learn the hard way?? But then what, few options without 4-5 gcse passes.

One last thing, missed start of comp as was overseas on uS curriculum to valid grounds there also for redoing a year. Any advice, please oh MN?

[SortingStuffStill]

And have been exploring camhs route (though not v confident having heard such negative feedback on here and elsewhere) also got counsellor in place. Not keen to have to pay (always assuming they take him) but may be only way. Unless we let him just fail and pick up the pieces from there.

[SortingStuffStill]

Bump?

[Needmoresleep]

Are you in London?

There is quite a lot of private provision allowing you to take GCSEs in a year. One example is Ashbourne College. Student group would be mainly kids coming in from overseas, often very hardworking. One year is cheaper than two, however it would not solve the problem of motivation. It might be worth a conversation with the schools about whether they think they have some answers, as private schools generally do not like to have children in their classes who do not try to keep up.

What does your son want to do?

[merlottime]

I hate to sound harsh, but private schools tend to be choosy about who they take in. Most, even those that are not academic hot houses, will require an entrance test, interview, and report from the current school, even if applying out of a normal admission point. They may be reluctant to take on someone who may not buck up and get decent results. Would a tutor for key subject be a better alternative, on top of the existing school?

[SortingStuffStill]

Yes, that's my worry

[SortingStuffStill]

Yes, i know. Expecting a miracle

[Drinkstoomuchcoffee]

I think you really need to address the underlying problems he is experiencing. Do you have any ideas about what could be causing the depression and insomnia? Is it related to the school he is at? Have you been able to discuss with him?

How far is the school already involved? If he fails it will reflect badly on them. If the school itself is the issue could he have a fresh start at another local school with a similar exam offering? The school has a responsibility to your DS and should be actively engaging with you about his progress. Is he actually attending? Could tutoring in key subjects help?

In parallel I would go keep on with the private counselling route assuming you are happy with the counsellor and you can afford it. It will work out cheaper than private schooling and is more likely to address the underlying issues. Pursue the CAHMS route as well.

I would also echo what MERLOT says about reputable private schools being choosy about who they take. Even the non academic have an eye to their league table results and will not take on a child who is likely to fail all his exams. The solvent ones weed out children who pose problems before they get into Y10/Y11. As a result they are usually less experienced at dealing with troubled teens than the state sector. The less solvent ones might take your money, but private education is not a panacea.

I think the important thing to remember is that at 15/16 he still has options open to him whether he passes the GCSEs or not. Many young people do not get 5 good GCSEs at 16. But they are not doomed. They can go to college and resit or do courses they find more relevant. They can move into employment. These options do not go away! So it is not a lost cause however stressful it now seems. There is hope!

[Needmoresleep]

All why I suggested talking to what used to be called 'crammers'. They will have seen it all before, though I suspect the advice would be that he needs to sort out his motivation before much can be done.

[SortingStuffStill]

Thanks everyone. Food for thought. Not in London but is a local crammer. Surely premature for yr 10. Though? I can't cope with 6ft stroppy, messy, oppositional, demanding toddler-teen round house all time, for next year, need to reboot my own career. But dh literally v rarely here or in the country even so by default falls on me. May sound selfish but needto have more headspace, sleep and support. And to be sble to focus on own job!

[Needmoresleep]

Because of the real shortage of private school places for incoming expat teens in London a number of tutorial colleges have set up Yr 11 provision which is much more like a school. Including a limited amount of extra curricular etc. I named one example. They may be more able/willing to consider an individual case and since they do GCSEs in a year you would save a years fees. But it is hard work and you need to be motivated.

[SortingStuffStill]

Thanks, Need. Shall check your link for reference and see if local equivalent.

[titchy]

Sorry but your absolute priority here is sorting out your child's depression and insomnia. Your career needing a reboot and his GCSEs come second place. There are plenty of options for teens and adults without decent GCSE grades, so don't worry about those. Get him to the GP asap.

[SortingStuffStill]

He goes to rhe gp regularly- he is coming first ( for me not dh) just not sure hiw sustainable as it is.

[SortingStuffStill]

So this is a parallel education attack along with what i am doing re his mh

[titchy]

Not an attack no. But as others, and yourself have said, absolutely no point pursuing the private option unless you sort out the underlying issues. Maybe post in teens or a board which can offer you help to support his issues, rather than post on secondary which gives the impression that all you're bothered about is his exams.

I was also trying to reassure you that failure to gain any GCSEs now, is NOT the end of the world, and does not close off any options at all.

[SortingStuffStill]

Thanks, meant I am on attack on educ front, not you attacked me. I worded it badly!

[sighbynight]

In my experience, fee paying schools are not well set up to deal with mental health issues. They brush it under the carpet. We are withdrawing our son from Y9 and sending him to a state school that can access CAMHS cluster services - ed psych, mental health nurses etc. If we don't withdraw, we will probably be asked to leave as an independent school has no obligation to educate a child in the way that the state sector does. I have to say though, I'm dreading it.

[SortingStuffStill]

Good luck, Sigh. Maybe it depends on state school but his has been wholly unengaged, theoretical offer of -fairly inadequate, inconsistent services- but that's it Had been thinking the structure and support pf private school might give him a kick up the bum support him better. Who knows!

[Devilishpyjamas]

I used to teach in a crammer. It is worth talking to them although tbh kids like your son (presumably bright but lazy/unmotivated) - were a nightmare By which I mean the crammer couldn't provide a magic solution (& they are £££££'s)

Do be aware that if he repeats year 10 - all his GCSE's will be the new (harder) ones, rather than just maths & English.

How about booking a whole bunch of local tutors to do some 1:1 with him - cheaper than a private school? And look at easter revision courses maybe.

[Devilishpyjamas]

Agree sleep & depression needs to he sorted. CAMHS is pretty overstretched with very high thresholds in some areas - may be worth looking for some private help?