Moving Girls Boarding House in Year 10 - any experience of this?

[seraphinaseverin]

Hi - this is my first post by recommendation! my DD is going to start year 10 in September at a mixed boarding school. She has had no end of problems last year at her house which is known as being 'the bitchy house' throughout the school. She is now dreading going back and we've had tears etc for the last few days. Most of her friends are in one of the other houses. Has anyone any experience of changing boarding houses for Year 10? She'll be starting GCSE courses and I don't want her having to cope with the backbiting and nasty rumours that were the whole of year 9. I know it'll be a battle with school but am willing to do it - any hints etc of what to say are welcome!! Thanks

[Millymollymama]

I wish you luck. No-one ever managed it where my DDs went to school. That was a girls' school. They stuck to their guns! Several girls left due to the inflexibility but if there had been movement, one house would have been very small!

[MadgeMidgerson]

If you can go to whoever oversees boarding/pastoral issues and provide them with some kind of evidence of ongoing issues which have affected your child, it can be done

If it is just a vague 'X House is the bitchy house' then probably not

[seraphinaseverin]

Hi - thanks to both of you. There have been a lot of issues unfortunately - including email comments made over the summer too!! My DD is Captain of one of the sports teams which hasn't gone down too well - it has really affected her as girls she saw as friends turned at various points so as not to be picked on themselves. fingers crossed!!

[Millymollymama]

Just had another thought. Have you considered why the school is allowing the unpleasant girls so much opportunity to be nasty and not doing anything about it? Presumably your DD has said she has problems with the girls, but nothing has changed? What is the pastoral care policy at the school? What involvement have you had to date?

We found that in-activity was down to the fact that some pupils appeared to be above the law, so to speak. Staff did not see the problems in the boarding house because they did not want to. There were several reasons for this but often it came down to money. You may need to consider who means more to the school, your DD or the other girls?

Schools also do not like to admit they have rather unpleasant pupils or ineffective staff. Asking to change Houses suggests they have both. I am pretty determined, and had various meetings, but in the end we gritted our teeth for years 10/11 and left for 6th form. No option of staying because of unresolved issues. Not very helpful - sorry.

[seraphinaseverin]

very ineffective Housemistress I'm afraid who plays parents off against each other - saying whatever each wants to hear. She lets situations linger instead of dealing with them with the result they get bigger!! We've been in several times and each time were given the standard lip service response! She is aware of the problems but says she doesn't know what to do with the main offenders - then does nothing!! I have warned DD that we may have to leave - she doesn't want to because of her other friends so it'll be difficult!!

[Millymollymama]

Oh dear! I cannot say I am surprised. My experience too! The difficulty is that for years 10-11 it is virtually impossible to move without messing up GCSEs. It was our dilemma too. There was no option but to stick it out but we were considered an absolute nuisance, and disloyal, because we complained. It had been a happy House until a certain child appeared. I won't go into details here but it was awful. The child was mega rich and seen as an asset to the school due the parents giving a large sum of money. A blind eye was turned to all the issues she brought into the House. Thank goodness DD could do her A levels elsewhere and achieved really well.

I would try complaining again, but if the Housemistress is ineffective and the school won't lose face by allowing your DD to move, then you will have to decide what to do and when to do it. I assume they do have a bullying policy. Do you have a Deputy in charge of pastoral care? This might be someone who could help.