Waiting list....

[Tiasmummy]

I was just wondering how often I can phone / email to check on a school waiting list ...without seeming neurotic...which I am about schools as every parent is! lol! But I don't want to appear that way obviously :-)

My daughter is 9th place on a waiting list which I last checked a week ago...is too much to check again now? How often do you think is acceptable?

Thanks in advance :-)

[ButterflyUpSoHigh]

I rang or emailed weekly and didn't get moaned at. They are used to it I think.

[Tiasmummy]

ButterflyUpSoHigh I would of thought they were used to it too! But you know when you imagine their faces like "oh gosh its HER again"! lol! I am working up the courage to email again :-)

[Tiasmummy]

Ok...so I emailed and have received a response.....basically I was told "It has only been 5 school days since your last email so I'am afraid not. All places have now been accepted and the school is now full for September 2015"

I don't think there was any need to point out how long it has been since my last email! This is an extremely anxious time for parents and I think she should understand that. The response was not helpful in my opinion.

Anybody have any opinions on the response I got? AIBU?

[ButterflyUpSoHigh]

That's a bit crap. Mine was always polite by phone and email. It gives a bad impression of the school.

[Tiasmummy]

ButterflySoHighUp I thought it was abrupt and to me it seems obvious she thinks I am some kind of annoyance for emailing again after one school week. Things can change rapidly with waiting lists so again, I don't know why she is pointing out when I last emailed. It is off putting...

[redskybynight]

If everyone on the waiting list (and you're only 9th? So need quite a few people to move) rang up / emailed every few days I can see how it would get incredibly annoying. I think you have to accept that no news is bad news.

(and by the way all parents are not neurotic about schools)

[Tiasmummy]

Redskybynight I would have thought as an admissions officer she would be used to all the queries no matter how often they come in? Yes as humans too much of anything can be annoying but it is her job after all?

So.... saying "all parents are neurotic"..I am obviously not making a blanket statement about the whole of planet earth. I shall not be expecting you at the next NeuroticsRus meeeting.

[Unexpected]

I don't think her email was rude at all? You said her response was not helpful but how could she have made it more helpful - apart from manufacturing a school place for you?

[Tiasmummy]

Unexpected - Her pointing out when I last emailed is not helpful. I don't see the point. I evidently know exactly when I last emailed so why point it out?

[Mintyy]

I really don't think there is any point in pestering. How about you email or ring once a month? It's still 6 months to the start of term.

[CheekyBanana]

Hey Tiasmummy, I'm sharing your pain and know exactly how you must be feeling.

I was in a similar dilemma myself about whether to contact school on Monday gone. I bit the bullet and called - and swiftly regretted it. I'm now telling myself that I won't call again this month; and, by being patient there's at least some hope of getting the surprise phone call offering a place. In my warped state of stress, I think it's somehow nicer to receive the offer call from the school. I Imagine me calling the school: "yes, hello again mrs banana, I was going to call you later, if/ when I had a spare moment, to offer your son a place" doesn't have the same vibe I suppose.

Hang in there. Hoping you'll soon get the news that so many if us are so desperately waiting to hear.

[Tiasmummy]

CheekyBanana Thank you! Of course we don't want to be an annoyance but then we have faith that the school will be understanding...when they are not it a horrible feeling and off putting to boot! What other kind of calls / emails is an admissions officer in a school expecting for petes sake?!

I certainly will not be contacting said school for a while I can tell you. I hope you eventually get the news you are waiting for too :-)

[Tiasmummy]

Mintty What some may perceive as pestering others perceive as just being an anxious parent. I wont be contacting them for a while anyway believe me!

[Mintyy]

I am in the same position as you Tiasmummy. I don't think the email you received from the school was unhelpful or snippy at all. I really think you just need to be realistic.

[VegasIsBest]

"What other kind of calls / emails is an admissions officer in a school expecting for petes sake?!"

Well presumably the admissions officers have other things to do, rather than just telling people their position on the waiting list hasn't changed. They don't sit there for 10 months a year doing nothing.

I understand that this is hugely important, but why can't you rely on the admissions officer contacting you if and when a place becomes available?

[CheekyBanana]

I have news!!! Having finally resigned to accept that things may not move for some time, I called the allocated school to arrange a visit. It seems my ds status showing as 'discarded' and no longer on their list. Secretary asked if ds on waiting list elsewhere and that I'll receive confirmation this week. Yay!!!

Still rooting for you TM.

[Tiasmummy]

VegasIsBest - its really very simple. As an admissions officer she should fully expect calls/ emails regarding waiting list positions. Its par for the course. So to come back with an email telling me when I last emailed to me is not necessary at all. It only shows her annoyance which in my opinion is not warranted.

Why cant I rely on the admissions officer calling me if a place becomes available? Why does anybody find out where their child's place is on a waiting list? Why do all parents not just sit around waiting for the call? Because I want to know where she is so I can have some idea how likely an offer would be?

[Tiasmummy]

CheekyBanana wait! Just so I have this correct...your son got a place at the school you wanted!? What a result!!!! That's excellent news! What a coincidence to get the call after being on this thread! lol! Now you can exhale at last! Congratulations! :-)

[prh47bridge]

The email clearly could have been worded better. However, some schools have waiting lists with 100+ people on them. And if the LA is managing waiting lists they have to deal with 50+ waiting lists. If all parents chase every few days the admissions team never get to do any real work, plus they continually have to deal with angry parents who don't understand that you can go down the waiting list as well as up. I can therefore understand why they might get fed up with it.

Chasing will make absolutely no difference. If a place comes up and your child is at the head of the waiting list at the time you will be offered the place. The waiting list won't move any quicker just because you chase.

[Tiasmummy]

prh47bridge I have not suggested at any point that I expect the waiting list to move any quicker if I "chase". I simply wanted to know if my daughters position had changed.

[anothermakesthree]

Have to say I agree with OP. I'm an admissions officer for a very busy comp (much needed day off today before you wonder..). A large part of my job is having empathy for those parents in a v stressful situation. I would never send an email like that. I have several parents that phone every other day at the moment..they actually feel quite desperate with regards their child's school allocation. It takes a minute to say sadly there has been no movement. Probably took longer to write that snippy email.

[Tiasmummy]

anothermakesthree Thank you! Somebody who is experienced in the job and can empathise! This was exactly my point! Doing the job they do admissions officers should in my opinion be understanding and mindful of their responses. I am not saying they should be like the samaritan helpline but just to have a bit of empathy! I know they are answering hundreds of queries but there is never any need to make cutting comments. That's my opinion and I am sticking to it :-)

[Tiasmummy]

Tiggytape my thoughts exactly. I don't think it was unreasonable or shocking that I emailed after a week. The thing is even if it was? Even if I was calling / emailing on a regular basis there is need to answer like that. To quote how many days since I last emailed is un called for.

[redskybynight]

Tiasmummy if the admissions person spends 2 hours a day answering phone calls and emails from neurotic (your word) parents, that's 2 hours a day less that they can spend actually doing their job - including working out if there are any more places to offer!!

I work in (among other things) IT support, I have several times had to (I hope politely) tell people that it is really counter productive ringing me up to ask if the system is fixed yet - because actually that means I end up spending all my time telling them it isn't, leaving me no time to actually fix it!