SW London day school with boarding school ethos: any suggestions?

[Oneverytiredmum]

I'm looking for secondary schools for my son, who is currently in Year 5 at a private prep. He is, in the nicest possible way, a jack of all trades. He is enthusiastic and loves to get stuck in—really enjoys drama, team sports, debating, IT, DT, art and music but excels at none. Academically, he is good rather than great (middle of top set for English, top of top set for French, middle of second set for Maths).

We had a first meeting with his headmaster, and he recommended a bunch of boarding schools for my son, from Tonbridge to Wellington and Charterhouse, because they provide the kind of rounded education that would really suit him and his many interests.

We went to see some of the schools the head recommended and agree with him that some seem the perfect match—but no one in our family has ever boarded and, most importantly, my son is really uncomfortable at the idea of leaving home to board.

So here is my question: could anyone suggest a SW London day school with a boarding school ethos that really nurtures the individual and his interests and is not only focused on those few who can achieve academic/sporting/artistic/musical/dramatic success?

I saw and liked Epsom College and Whitgift, but have been told that both have very alpha male cultures: if you are not in the first XI/XV you are a nobody. So I'm back to the drawing board, looking for ideas. In case anyone asks, I did look at the local state options but ruled them out, as one is a supermega selective grammar, and the other one is nothing much of anything.

Any suggestions are welcome, thanks!

[EdithWeston]

Try Dulwich College. Excels in many areas, not just sport, and despite rugby excellence, doesn't really have a jock culture.

Current head fabulous.

Browse the website for achievemernts in music, debating, drama etc. And all the co curricular stuff too.

It has a boarding school ethos because it has boarders - though not that many before sixth form.

[Waitingandhoping2015]

Reeds School in Oxshott would be ideal.

[MumOfTheMoos]

What about Alleyns if you think he'll be interested in arts etc

[Seriouslyffs]

I was going to suggest Dulwich too. It's excellent in lots of areas and boys don't seem to be pigeonholed into any particular group an individual boy can row and play rugby and do accelerated academics and join cadets and be in some of the dozen music and singing groups. Check the time of the buses for you though as you need to get there participate in all the above!

[AnnaG]

Hampton. It's a great all rounded school. Not just academics, but your DS can exce in sports, drama and music too.

[novellapuella]

A second for Reeds or St George's Weybridge if you can stretch that far. I'm afraid that Hampton appears to be less interested in the 'all round' boy if the 2016 13+ selection round is anything to go by.

[basildonbond]

I don't know about Epsom but would certainly dispute the idea that Whitgift is all about the alpha male - my ds has never been within spitting distance of the first XI or XV and has been v happy and successful as have most of his friends. It does encourage boys to try hard but there are plenty of opportunities for all ability levels. (And having seen the behaviour of some of the DC first XI out and about recently would question the idea of DC being completely free of jock culture ...)

However no school is going to be all things for all people

Alleyn's is a fabulous school but I'd have thought had the antithesis of a boarding school culture

Have you looked at Kings in Wimbledon? Would have thought that would tick several boxes and if your head thinks he'd get into tonbridge would not be out of the question academically

[LIZS]

what do you mean by a boarding school ethos ? Do you want the option of boarding or could a day school still fit the bill ? Single sex or co-ed ? tbh I don't think Epsom is all alpha and also rans. Cranleigh ?

[ZeroFunDame]

The thing is - I imagine your HM suggested schools that are amongst those they consistently send children to?

And fitting the child to the next school is a major part of their job. So, to put it vulgarly, you're not really getting your money's worth if you don't want your child to go to the type of school they prepare for ...

(I would guess, btw, that a very large proportion of children boarding now come from families where no one has previously done so. I daresay the children are guided by their parents' feelings about it?)

I'm not putting this well. If you chose the prep with care and attention then you are losing half the benefit of being there if you go off piste in choosing the next school.

[bettys]

Reeds would be ideal, and does also offer boarding though the majority of pupils are day boys. Depends on where you are in SW London although the school buses do go to Wimbledon, East Sheen etc

[Poisonwoodlife]

Dulwich came to my mind as well. It has boarding as well. For reasons I won't go into I ended up as guardian to two boys there and we really needed that wrap around in loco parentis care. They were amazing. Very much a school for an all rounder.

[Gummibaer]

"Hampton appears to be less interested in the 'all round' boy if the 2016 13+ selection round is anything to go by."

Why do you feel that? What do you think they are increasingly looking for?

[FishyNibble]

Another one who would suggest Reeds or St George's. Reeds probably fits the bill more from what you have said, but St George's is worth a look at.

[Montagueterrace]

Hi

I've got a DS at Dulwich and totally agree with the positive comments above. He's in the magical Madrigal choir, the hockey and rugby teams, loves science and languages, is a book worm and budding artists etc etc, i.e. a Jack of all trades and a master of some. Difference is encouraged there; of course there are alpha males there – there are anywhere – but their status is no different to any other type of boy. Have a look at the Good School Guide review and the recent ISI report, and if they appeal go and take a look round. It's a great school, with fab pastoral care, a brilliant head and happy boys who are encouraged to stretch themselves and be independent.

[novellapuella]

Sorry, Gummi, my comment about Hampton was rather cryptic...didn't want to derail the thread! I simply meant that there wasn't much evidence of the school looking beyond academics/ performance on the day in the entrance exam (unless, possibly, the boy had been flagged up as an elite athlete, musical virtuoso or some such!).

This is purely based on what I saw from the perspective of DS's prep school and another local SW London prep. In the case of both of these schools, the 2016 13+ Hampton application process saw a surprising number of academically able, sporty, musical, all-round, thoroughly decent boys (boys who had felt very comfortable applying for Hampton on the advice of their head teachers) being rejected. Of course, there could be a thousand reasons why and clearly these boys didn't perform well enough in the exam but the general feeling is that Hampton now has the luxury of so many applicants that it doesn't feel the need to scratch below the surface. Disappointing. This is more in line with the ethos of a super-selective state grammar than a boarding school.

No personal sour grapes here, I hasten to add - just feeling peeved on behalf of the wonderful boys we know who didn't get in!

[Gummibaer]

Thanks for your thoughts on Hampton, Novella. Yes, I see what you mean and, as you say, the increasing number of applicants is making the process more competitive and the school more reliant on using exams to preselect. Hope your ds is happy where he is.

[novellapuella]

Thanks, Gummi - you managed to put it far more succinctly than I did! We were thankfully spared the Hampton process as DS is following in our older DS's footsteps to one of the boarding schools that OP mentions!

[tomdicknharry]

You say you looked at the local state school options. It would be worth looking at Fulham Boys School - new free school opened this September so will have a couple of years under its belt by the time your DS is Year 7.