Sorry, long. Thx if you reach the end.
DS has history of exclusion (age 6) and recurring issues everywhere he goes, explosively defiant, strangers moan about his behaviour, has been kicked out of clubs, has PDA traits perhaps. He'll never tick anybody's boxes to get a diagnosis & anyway, SN or being on SENR makes no difference to severity of disciplinary procedures at the high schools. Not now but DS was previously on SENR twice (speech & behaviour). High ability at math & some sport, avg at everything else.
3 weeks into yr6 and we haven't been asked to speak to DS's teacher at all about behaviour (probably jinxing that as I type). This is nothing short of miraculous. Probably overwhelmingly down to, after yrs of social isolation, now being in a gang with 3-4 other friends for last 6 months.
But in 5 weeks we have to choose a secondary, argh! I just wish he could have another yr at primary. Anyway, choices are:
School A) Local, his friends will almost certainly all go here, plenty of people are happy with it, and seems to have better comms with parents than the other 2 high schools older DC attend. At very least he could walk to school with 2 of his mates (assuming they stay mates). If we have to go talk to school often about issues, won't be huge amount of travelling. Intake about 160/yr. We have bad history with neighbours who send their kids here & I am nervous they might pick on DS (but seems unlikely, different yr groups & gender).
School B) 10 miles away, transport costs therefore about ÂŁ600/yr, Widely well regarded & oversubscribed but DD goes here (loves it) so DS could probably get in. Intake about 205/yr. No friends will get in here. When DS still in yr10 could give his younger brother chance to get in yr7. DS could get kicked off the bus service which would make it impossible.
DS is going to have huge problems at secondary, no matter where he goes. I thought School B) was better bet because it gave him a fresh start, the kids he pissed off their parents wouldn't live locally so we'd have a peaceful retreat, he could switch to A) if B) really didn't work out. But increasingly I see how valuable the friends are... but of course he might not see friends at all if he went to A), there are no guarantees whether the friendships will last.
DS finds it very hard to make friends (obviously).
If you have a similar difficult child, which school do you think you'd choose?
Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.
Secondary education
If you have a child with emotional & behaviour problems... WWYD?
lljkk · 23/09/2014 11:29
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