Does anyone know anyone who has a child in school in the wrong school age?(20 Posts)
I have posted earlier about my problem but Just want to canvas opinion about being in the wrong age group. We are returning expats and my DS failed his entrance exams for his year but has been offered the year below (should be year 8 offered year 7). It is a very academic school and I know he would do well but I worry about the psychological issues of dropping down a year. I think my DS definatley has gaps in his education due to moving schools a lot and is young for his age group as an August baby . He wouldn't know anyone in this school but we do have friends who have children in different schools who are in year 8 so this would be a permanent reminder he is in the wrong age group socially. The alternative is a less academic school in year 8 where I am sure he will be fine but probably won't achieve the potential of the academic school and hasn't got the same kudos or reputation of the other school and is a lot smaller so will miss out on extra ciriculum choice
So has anyone had a child in the wrong age group particularly secondary how did it work out? Were they picked on for age? Was it the right decision? Would you drop your child down a year for possibly a better long term achievement in results?
I know someone who is currently Y5 but by age should be Y6.
Given your DC will have no history with the children in the school, I cannot see a problem.
I teach a girl who is in yr 10 but should be yr 11. She's bright and is one of my top students but has recently returned from living abroad and has gaps in her knowledge in other subjects. The other kids know that she's older but have no history with her (as a pp mentioned) and she has no social issues. She's friends with yr 10 & year 11 kids but mostly hangs out with yr 10s.
We know a few families who have done this. Ds1 had two friends in his year who should have been in the year above. And DS3 lost contact in effect with one of his really good friends when she was put into the year below to redo Year 6, primarily her parents decision.
If he's an August birthday then he's only weeks from being in year 7 anyway. I would try it. There is nothing stopping you from moving if it doesn't work out.
Summer birthday boys frequently suffer academically and socially, so if I was you, I would leap at a chance to have an August boy in the year below, at a good school.
My ds is a June birthday boy, bright, and doing well at a grammar school, but I can see how well his friends with birthdays earlier in his year group do. They're not brighter, but they have just that bit more maturity which allows them to make more of the teaching and opportunities. My ds is going to struggle to decide on a uni course - he could do with a year out, just to catch up on life. If you read Matthew Syed's Bounce, it goes on about how older boys get into sports teams etc (especially in the USA) just because they are developmentally ahead. So they are seen as more talented, given more training, so get better and it feeds on itself. He argues that sports teams should be based on 6 monthly groups, not 12 month year groups, so that the younger ones who are promising will get a chance. I think this argument works for academic year groups as well, certainly for boys.
Good Luck for working things out.
At my DDs boarding school, many of the overseas students were in the wrong year group. Also August birthdays were sometimes down a year at prep school. Not unusual in the independent sector and no-one really noticed. When several children are in the wrong year together it is just seen as the norm for that school. If you were the only child in the whole school, that might be different.
I left private school 30 odd years ago and it was quite common to have children above or below their age group. Sounds like it is still going on. You know yourself there are gaps and it is better to be down a year and do well. Go for it
My dd. is - on paper- a year 'behind'. All this means is that she is more confident and able than she would be if she was in the year above!
My DS is in the year below he should be as we chopped and changed education three times having moved overseas and he is thriving in the year below, no problems at all. In Europe it really is no big deal, loads redouble but no sure about UK schools.
In this circumstance it wouldn't worry me too much.
Where I would see it as a problem would be if he had been kept down a year and everyone knew
It's one of the advantages of the independent sector that they can offer this flexibility. I have a friend (we're in our 30s now, so not recent experience) who was a year down at school due to a combination of expat parents and dyslexia. He went on to Cambridge and is very successful. It really didn't seem to have any negative impact on him.
Thank you everyone for replying . It's good to hear that everyone has positive stories . Now I just have to persuade DS this is the best option
Ask the school if there is anyone else in Y7 who is a year down. He won't be the only one then. If there isn't perhaps there are others in Y8 - at lest you can then say they spent Y7 being the eldest. Or tell him it is better to start in Y7 than go into Y8 and be kept down a year. Not sure if this happens in private schools now but did when I as at school.
My dds have friends who are both a year down and a year up. It's quite common when children have moved around to address any gaps they may have. Neither has caused any problems until they get to 6th form (where mine are now), when it's driving at 17 and old enough to drink at 18. In this case, it's the ones a year up who have the most difficulties as all their friends are going out clubbing and they don't have ID. DD2 is a July baby and is already suffering from this (most of her friends now having driving lessons and she can't) so, especially as he's an August baby, I'd say you're doing him a favour!
Now I just have to persuade DS this is the best option
If DS has some areas to catch up on and really prefers the very academic school over the less academic one then all of the advantages listed above would stand and he will probably see the logic of accepting a Year 7 offer.
If however it bothers him being out of year group then that might be a problem. A lot of doing well at school is about being happy and if for any reason he views accepting a Year 7 place a demotion (given that you applied for Year 8 initially) then the advantages may be less. Is this common for the school to do this? If so it would be more like a mixed Year 7 / Year 8 year group anyway and perhaps more acceptable to him?
I was the "wrong age" for a year, twice. I was upping on my year and changed between Frenh/English and Dutch schools and back a few times. I also had some learning difficulties when I was YR kind of age, so holding me back made sense (I was deaf until I was nearly 3, so all the language, reading, writing etc stuff came late). At one point I also went up a year! In the end I left a London comp at 18 with a levels, just like everyone else.
My sister's birthday is August 31. She failed to get into secondary school in the exam for year 07. But she got in the following year, so became the oldest one in year 07 rather than the youngest one in year 08. The downside was that she had to repeat year 06, but that gave her a lot of extra confidence.
She now lives in a country where, if your child is born in the last two months of the school year, you can choose for them to start a year later, so they are the oldest in the year below rather than the youngest in their year. Her dd is in this situation but dsis has chosen for her to be the youngest in the year, which I find a little odd.
If you are planning private all the way through it matters not a jot because
A) it is very common. Have totted up average across my kids' years and it is about 10% of each year. All the kids involved are very bright (selective schools). Most are summer born but not all.
B) indies place a lot of importance on eliminating 'in-year' boundaries. There will be a house system so that all ages mix together within their houses and compete within their houses, and most indies I know have a paired year system for teaching sport so that for one year, your child's year plays sport with the year above, the next year they play sport with the year below (ie they compete in under 13, under 11, under 9 groupings). This means that kids at indies have strong friendships with those in the year above and those in the year below. It is a right of passage when your child is first invited to a birthday outing with a group from the year above, and then it becomes fairly common-place.
Ds is end of August birthday, has ASD and has always been a year 'down' - repeated reception and stayed down at state primary, now at independent secondary.
It is absolutely perfect for him. He's just the oldest in the year instead of the youngest, his best friends have Oct, Sept and Dec bdays, so very little difference: no one cares what year he 'should' be in.
He has on occasion been given the wrong aged birthday card because the parents don't all know...that's as bad as it gets for downsides.
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