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(21 Posts)
happychappy Sat 16-Nov-13 12:43:07

Regarding 6th form college.

1st option; remain at current school and do her A-levels. However some of her teachers I am not especially happy with. Pro's are logistics sorted, has friends, although many are moving on and it's not a bad school at all.

2nd option; a fabulous international school and do the IB. Pros are amazing opportunity, will push dd to work harder is GCSE's to get in, just cant say how great the school is. Negatives are; logistics will be interesting, have 2 children in 2 different schools. The major problem my dh has with it, most the children come from affluent families which we are not. My dh is very concerned that my dd will have trouble with the fact that she will not have all the things or be able to afford everything her school friends will be able to.

What would you do?

noblegiraffe Sat 16-Nov-13 12:47:15

What does your DD want to do?

happychappy Sat 16-Nov-13 12:53:30

something with languages, possibly international law.

Abitannoyedatthis Sat 16-Nov-13 12:55:01

Personally I would stick with the first option. Being in a class with the very affluent sucks, I have experienced it. Isn't there another option apart from those?

Abitannoyedatthis Sat 16-Nov-13 12:56:09

I think NG meant which school does SHE prefer?

headlesslambrini Sat 16-Nov-13 12:56:43

how-about letting your DD decide for herself

happychappy Sat 16-Nov-13 13:00:47

she loves the IB school. I love the IB school. We have generally always been less well off than many/most of our friends and it has motivated her to study harder. My DH remains unconvinced. I think though I am a very pushy mum and worry that I am pushing her to do something that won't make her happy. But my aim, just as any other mother, is that she is happy and has the opportunity to do the things she would like to do. I think the IB school is more likely to give her that but worry she may feel less than her friends now that my husband has said it.

happychappy Sat 16-Nov-13 13:03:32

Headless, she loves the IB school but her grades in science may let her down. I told her to use the IB schools grades has her target as the current school are just not pushing her at all. She has had to be so self motivated, Which is another reason I prefer the other school. My boss is heavily involved in the IB school, so I know both schools very well.

noblegiraffe Sat 16-Nov-13 13:09:42

If she wants to do languages and international law and likes the school, I'd give her a shot at it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
If she doesn't like it, it's only two years - eyes on the prize. Or she could drop out and go back to college.
Not taking a fabulous opportunity because your DH is worried about something that might not happen is not going to set your dd up well for working in international law!

lljkk Sat 16-Nov-13 13:50:03

I think the 2nd school if she can get in. Other one as a fallback, no? Is 2nd school much more expensive for you?

6th form age she's old enough to travel to far away places on own, no? I know kids travelling 1.5 hours each way to go to preferred 6th form college. What are your tricky logistics?

OnGoldenPond Sat 16-Nov-13 15:04:20

Agree with lljkk - the logistics of getting there are for your DD to deal with - and have been since year 7 surely?

Agree that you should go with the option your DD loves unless there is a very compelling reason not to. She is almost an adult and must be allowed to make her win choices as far as possible ie her heart will not be in it.

Just one thing - will the IB school put a severe strain on finances? If so, think carefully - though it is only for 2 years.

happychappy Sat 16-Nov-13 17:09:40

the school itself is free, because it's also .25 of a mile nearer than the other school the council will pay for her transport but we have to contribute £521 per year towards it. (which I think is crazy given we'd have to pay regardless of the school and she's obligated to attend school for another 2 years). But it is a pain to get to, either 2 buses or a taxi. The strain would be extra's the school would expect, which would be a struggle for us to do. School trips etc.

lljkk Sat 16-Nov-13 17:56:41

if same cost then definitely taxi, is that really such a hassle compared to alternative journey?

School trips are not compulsory, right? Could you budget for once a yr, perhaps? What else would be higher costs to you?

hellsbells99 Sun 17-Nov-13 11:31:57

Apply for both and keep your options open. You do not need to make a decision yet! sits on fence

senua Sun 17-Nov-13 16:12:22

The major problem my dh has with it, most the children come from affluent families which we are not.

And ...? You are what you are. There will only be trouble if you pretend to be something you are not. There may be fellow pupils who would look down on you - but who wants to be friends with people like that. There will be plenty others who will like your DD for who she is, not for what her parents earn.
However, I would guess that as your "boss is heavily involved in the IB school" she should be OK.wink

On a more practical note. Have you looked at leavers' destinations? Which best match your DD's aspirations?
Also, do many go to the international school from your area? You may be able to organise car-shares. At this age (6th form), they may even be driving themselves and be happy to split the petrol bill.

happychappy Sun 17-Nov-13 16:58:32

We are fine as we are, but my children have often been told they can't do or have something their friends can have because we just don't earn as much as they do. I work as a nanny and my husband for English Heritage so neither job particularly well paying.

My boss unfortunately can't influence anything as her entry will be entirely on her own merits. Which is totally correct.

She is very ambitions and would like to study languages and law at University. It has already been suggested by her teachers that she could apply to Oxbridge as her grades are very good. Science and maths are the subjects are her weaker subjects but she is working hard to raise these. I strongly feel the IB college will give her experiences and opportunities as well as stretch her in the right way but my husbands fears are valid. I must listen to them.

I have come to the conclusion that probably the best route is to apply to both and let her get in or not based on merit. This weekend I had a conversation with my DD and sat firmly on the fence and listened. She really wants to go and I will have to speak to her dad and help him understand and support her. He just wants to protect her and putting his own life experiences on her.

apply for both its 6th form, my DD applied for 4 different colleges, keep the school as a back up if she doesn't get the grades, i wouldn't worry about the money side im as poor as can be and my teenagers have friends who;s parents are loaded, as well as more normal households. As long as your DD understands sometimes she wont be able to do the extra stuff it will be fine.

lljkk Sun 17-Nov-13 19:22:49

Well, maybe I've got wrong impression, but it sounds like...

You've taught your DD to value what she has. It sounds like she has the talent to get wherever she will get to regardless of which school she attends. BUT by knowing she has your support to attend the school that she prefers, she will have all the more confidence to do her best. And she will still have perspective on not taking things for granted that others do.

Thants Sun 17-Nov-13 19:35:51

Well it's college so it's completely up to her. The second sounds better. Is it private though?
She'll get herself to college won't she? And most teens doing their Alevels will be in a different school to their younger siblings so that shouldn't be an issue.

happychappy Sun 17-Nov-13 21:11:57

it's part private part state. A large of families in the area prefer to send their children to this school that the local very expensive private school.
Thank you lljkk.

allbottledup Mon 18-Nov-13 09:17:25

I don't think you need to worry too much about the social side of things as per your DH's concerns, but your daughter needs to make a fully informed decision about the nature of the IB and her chances of succeeding at it.

The IB is a very challenging course and is favourably regarded by universities. It's a heavy workload and your daughter will find herself working much harder and longer than her friends doing A levels but it's consequently superb prep for uni.

However, as you know she will need to continue with Maths and Science at standard level. Please ensure that everyone understands that if she fails any part of the IB then she doesn't receive the full diploma, which could jeopardise a university offer. If you possibly can, get an honest opinion from a teacher who is familiar with the IB content of whether she will be able to cope with the IB requirements of her weaker subjects. Standard level is higher than GCSE but lower than most of the A Level in terms of challenge.

Good luck and I hope that you and your daughter make the right decision for her!

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