Saturday detention and inflexible school.(217 Posts)
My DS2 is in Y8 and the school policy is, if they get 5 detentions for not doing homework, they get a Saturday detention. I don't agree with it but it is school policy and I agreed to work with the school for the duration of my child's time with them. DS2 got his 5 detentions and was told on Wednesday(2/10), that he had detention on the Saturday (5/10). As a Cub Scout Leader, I had made arrangements to go to District camp with all the beavers, cubs and scouts from our district. DS1 is a beaver leader DS2 and DS3 are scouts, DS4 is too young but had not choice and my parents and my sis are also leaders with beavers and scouts and so they came too. There was not at home who could look after DS2. I explained to the school that this was the case and after numerous suggestions along the lines of put him on 3 trains and a bus (total journey time 2 hrs 40 mins) it was agreed to postpone the detention to the following week. I got on the coach with all the other leaders and children on the Friday and returned by coach on the Sunday. I then discovered, that DS2's detention had been extended by 1 hour because he could not make the previous Saturday. School seems to be steadfast in their decision and insist on punishing DS2 for my commitment. He did get a couple of Saturday detentions last ear and one was changed as my cousin was getting married but the other 2 we bend over backwards to get him there, even picking up my cubs and taking them to their event before collecting DS2 from camp only to find that the member of staff who was taking the detention had not turned up! Working together is a 2 way street or at least I thought it was!
They aren't at school "all day" they are at school for typically 6.5 hours. A normal "work" day is 8 hours these days (though it wasn't that long ago when children would have left school by the age of 12 and start would start working 12 hour shifts 6 days a week so children are certainly capable of more! Not that I'm suggesting sending them down the mines just reminding us that children can be as capable and resilient as they are required to be - and it's up to parents to make expectations clear). Anyway that leave a 1.5 hour difference which most schools don't require children to use all of - but the consolidation of knowledge independently during this time, through the medium of homework, is a VITAL part of learning without which a child will not actually learn and will not get educated.
I do have to say that I wouldn't ever choose a school where Saturday detention was even a possibility due to dds dancing & mine & dhs work.
However either your ds beds a huge kick up the backside (as my dd does regarding homework) or he isn't coping.
^"Why are so many teachers and parents hung up supporting homework anyway?
It doesn't serve any purpose. If its to learn something then surely this is better done by the teacher at school. If it is to recap, this is also the teachers job at the end of the lesson.
What is so important about homework? and why is it necessary when they have been at school all day?"^
In order to really learn things thoroughly ( rather than just "getting them" at the time) information needs to be revisited. Ideally the first time it should be revised is on the day you first learn it ( or as near as possible)
^"Without review, most information will be lost from memory.
The best time to review materials is within a day or two after the material has been read or presented in lecture."^
Homework facilitates this!
I read Grow a fanjo as 'Gove is a fanjo' - have I been reading too much anti-Gove sentiments?!
Why do people think punishment or retribution is the way to help the Ops
Why do people punishment or retribution is the way to help the OPS DS
Maybe at this time in his life academic education is not the right way for him who knows maybe when he is 30 it may be right for him but at the
moment it is not the right path.
That's why i am delighted to read in the Times this morning of a plan
to expand U.T.C up to around 40. OPS DS maybe could join a University
Technical College at 14 and be trained in a career he enjoys and is good at.
As i have said OPS DS could choose a more traditional path in his future
extra punishment will just make OPS DS more resentful of school.
The reason my first post asked if it was a selective school was that i believe that makes a difference in the fact that if OPS DS was in the top
25% academically he should be able to do the homework. The fact is the
OPS DS at this time would probably be more fulfilled in a more vocational
Having read through the whole thread I have to agree that the OP is being pathetic and enabling and excusing her son's behaviour, and will be directly responsible for the downward spiral his life is heading for if she doesn't start being more assertive and demonstrating that this matters.
It is quite correct that the punishment should be increased if it is rearranged - having a sanction in place to make this an unpalatable option is the only way to make the family take it seriously - if the previous commitment is really important enough to accept an additional hour of detention, then you suck it up, fair enough.
Every post on this thread from the OP has been more whining about why her son should basically be getting special dispensation to be able to receive a decent education without having to put in any work into it. Life doesn't work that way.
The OP has been doing everything in her power to minimise the unpleasantness of any consequences meted out by the school to ensure that her son doesn't see the detentions as particularly worth avoiding.
A year 8 pupil is perfectly capable of ascertaining what the homework is and writing it down correctly, then getting that homework done as well as eating dinner and having a bit of relaxation time between 5:30 and bed time. If this isn't happening then that's because the lifestyle without doing this is more attractive - and it is entirely within the OPs power to remove privilege and luxury from her son's life to the point that doing it right becomes less of a pain than the discomforts incurred if he doesn't bother, until he earns it back by taking responsibility for doing this correctly. If she chooses not to, she is letting her son down very badly.
Also this is her ds2 we're talking about . She chose this school over her ds1's . Presumably she could delegate some of the homework support to him if she is struggling with the actual content. The main issue seems to be that she does not, for whatever reason, place a high enough value on his homework to enforce it and back up the school on consequences hence neither does he, nor if he is genuinely struggling go in and address this with the teachers or insist ds2 does.
can he copy things down accurately at other times? i suspect not, might be worth checking
wrt homework and a return to one end of course exam - he might flourish under this system, whereas modules benefit the more organised and consciencious. i never did any homework and got all a s with last minute revision. i would get crap grades based on continual assessment. to generalise, boys suit the all or nothing exam style more.
Friday I think most of us have reached a conclusion.
If he can get himself to school Monday to Friday he can do it on Saturday,
Reading between the lines, OP goes away for the weekend doing scout stuff, therefore all her children have to go with her as there is no-one else to look after them. OP doesn't think this is "putting her hobby ahead of her children". Others disagree. Thread reaches no conclusion, as OP isn't hearing what she wants to hear.
I may have missed this but why can he not take himself to detention if he takes himself to school?
The excuse that he is unable to do all his homework because of activities is pretty poor IMHO.
My ds1 is 14 and plays football. He has training/matches 5 days out of 7. He is rarely at home before 7pm. He still manages to consistently complete all of his work to the required standard. I have made it very clear that the day that his training schedule impacts on his school work/homework is the day that it stops.
If he wants to continue he has to keep on top of his schoolwork.
He has a timetable on the wall that he worked out. It shows what days and times he has to study and he sticks to it.
Really, it's about the homework, not the Saturday detention.
If he doesn't do the homework or doesn't write it down correctly, he has to take responsibility for that.
If he can get himself to school Monday to Friday he can do it on Saturday, there is no need for your schedule to make it impossible for him to get there.
I've seen "strap on some ovaries" and "put your big girl pants on" as equivalents to "grow some balls" and "man up".
Ye gads Thants I had you down as a Gove fan. Apols for that
cos Gove is an arse who thinks that his dodgy memories of his own education are the best thing ever
and he wants to stop proles getting qualified as then they might challenge the 'political class'
Talkinpeace. I think nephew has to take different units this year and do modular exams the same next year is this right?
I can understand Gove wanting to change Gcse ,what i cant understand
why he wants to destroy everything, surely evolution over a few years would be better. However i think in some subjects coursework should be
used. At University you have assignments "COURSE WORK" so why does
Gove want to get rid of course work in school exams.
Both modular then.
frogs my fave has always been arse over tit and where do moobs fit in .... ?
Talkinpeace. Niece was in yr 11 4 years ago Nephew last year.
Niece is 2nd year Liverpool Business and French.
Nephew Yr 12 As levels History Politics English/ Chemistry
And I think you're being pompous because you are. I can see all manner of things, I just tend not to assume that every who disagrees with me is wrong by definition.
TiP, I think 'balls-up' is matched by 'tits-up', so I think we're all clear on the sexism front there.
Were your neice and nephew in year 11 between 2 and 18 years ago ?
Just that then the exams they took bear little relation to what is going on today.
Vocational is great, but a lack of work ethic will dump you in the poo regardless of the path chosen.
How does a 'cunt up' compare with a 'balls up'
I think it's sexist because it is. We live in a society that normalises sexism and inequality so that's why you don't see it. I think addressing inequality and prejudice is important.
Thants, do you ever find yourself wondering whether you're being a teeny bit pompous and self-righteous?
Here's a clue: you are.
Blu, I LOVE 'cunt up'. Sadly I fear it is a bit rude, even by my sweary standards. How unfair. We should start a campaign for gender equality in genital metaphors.
This is what I would do:
Spend some time finding out exactly why he is getting his homework wrong. Ask him to show you the worksheet and where it was that it was deemed insufficient. Get him to show you his planner, and the work that they have been doing in class, and work out exactly what it is his homework should cover. Give him some hints about how to write down thoroughly and in greater detail what it is he has to do.
Check the homework he does against his planner - see whether it seems thorough to you.
Keep this up for a couple of weeks.
Possibly talk to his tutor about whether he is listening in class. Is he concentrating when the homework instructions are given out. Can he actually hear properly? Get this checked, if you are in any doubt.
Since the vagina is the only genital organ with muscle, I would call this 'cunting up' or 'growing a fanjo' in respect for the female power in parenting.
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