Dd''s school has started a philosophy club. He really wants to go but is worried about his "street cred" He is very sporty and he thinks the other "rugger buggers" will laugh at him. I am considering offering to pay him to go- then he can Say it's his bonkers mother's idea and he's only doing it for the money. Good idea? Bad idea? He's not worried about being bullied or anything- just being teased by the hearties.... A
Both of my DSs would love a philosophy club. I have always made a big thing of not doing stuff because everyone else does.
Tell him it would be a valuable lesson to learn to do things different from the crowd. Then when it comes to drugs or alcohol he will have had practice? He can say you paid him if he wants, nothing wrong with saving face.
I think its a good idea to offer to pay and/or for him to say its about the money. I did this with orchestras where the children knew no one, but was clear I was only doing this in the initial difficult bit not as an ongoing thing. I also think its good to explain to kids about cover stories. You don't always have to tell the painful truth if you don't want to. If people are wanting to know more than you are comfortable telling and persist in wanting to know, I think its fine to give a cover story. And useful practice.
do people often do this? pay their kids to go to stuff? very strange! to me, what the OP is proposing is in effect a lie, as the intention is for the other kids to think that he has been persuaded/forced to go when in fact he wants to go. But as I say, I would start by discussing the rights and wrongs with the boy, then everyone will get an idea of whether he does in fact want to go to a philosophy club