Put my mind at rest - dd2 to be one of only 5 white girls in new class of 30

(103 Posts)
Bedward Fri 12-Jul-13 09:24:26

That's it really. dd2 went to her induction at her new school, yesterday. She was v excited - only one from her primary going, but dd1 already there. About half the new school are from different ethnic minorities and dd2 is fine with that - all dd1's friends at the school are from different ethnic backgrounds in fact. But it just so happens that dd2's form is 25/30 non-white. When I met up with dd2 after her induction, she looked slightly nervous and crestfallen - she's very sociable and easy-going, but her current school is virtually totally white (village school).

Please tell me it's going to be ok - I tried to reassure her she'll be fine, but I think the reality of going to a school where she knows no-one and worries she may not fit in, are now becoming real. sad

2cats2many Fri 12-Jul-13 09:27:04

Of course she's going to be ok! I bet she'll make lifelong friends.

What are you worried about?

They are 11 year old girls, they are not alien species are they?

If dd1 is ok, why wouldnt dd2 be?

NewFairy Fri 12-Jul-13 09:36:29

I would be slightly concerned if it's only 5 girls in a class of 30. Is that what you mean?
Otherwise I think yabu sorry.

noblegiraffe Fri 12-Jul-13 09:38:24

What's the issue? That she might end up with non-white friends? confused

maillotjaune Fri 12-Jul-13 09:38:51

Not knowing anyone is a reason to worry in advance of going, but that's entirely normal and I'm sure she won't be the only one.

The skin colour of her classmates is irrelevant. Your DD is 1 of a class of 30. She will make friends just like your older daughter has.

LaRosaBella Fri 12-Jul-13 09:40:03

I was the only white girl in my class, didn't do me any harm and I never had any problems in relation to it.

DaddyPigsMistress Fri 12-Jul-13 09:41:06

Well when theres only a few ethnic kids in a school full of white kids they manage so I'm sure she will be fine

LaRosaBella Fri 12-Jul-13 09:42:05

And I didnt know anyone but I made friends very quickly.

TobyLerone Fri 12-Jul-13 09:42:31

I can't actually believe you thought to write a thread about this.

It's a wind-up, right?

christinarossetti Fri 12-Jul-13 09:46:48

If all your dd1's friends are from different ethnic backgrounds, why do you think a similar situation - should it arise - with your younger dd will be a problem?

SolomanDaisy Fri 12-Jul-13 09:53:01

I don't understand. For ages DS was the only white child at his playgroup, it was irrelevant. Is she using this as a focus to express her more general anxieties about secondary school?

Branleuse Fri 12-Jul-13 09:54:37

oh dear. Lets just hope she doesnt catch black!!!

Bedward Fri 12-Jul-13 09:56:23

No, it's not a wind-up - dd1's class is about 50/50 though in her friendship group, dd1 is the only white one. In some classes, the balance may be skewed the other way - I assume the head doesn't sit down and carefully ensure every class has identical numbers of ethnic minorities. grin

I do worry a bit about dd2 being left out - although dd1's friends are lovely, she basically doesn't socialise with them outside school at all, as their parents won't let them/they only mix with people of their own ethnic background outside school etc.

Am also a tiny bit worried about religious bullying - we're Jewish and dd1 has Muslim friends and they get on very well, all very mutually respectful etc - but I know dd1 does find being the token Jew a bit hard... will be worse when they study the Holocaust. Am worried in case dd2 finds this hard.

But why would she be left out?

I don't understand. Are you saying the 25 other people are all the same ethnicity? And you think she will be excluded from the group because of this?
Or are you saying it is an ethnically diverse (I hate that phrase by the way but can't think of a better one) class, ie lots of different ethnicities and that is a problem?

Either way, with the kindness of intentions, get a grip.
My DCs are mixed race. In ds2 class there are many, many different races and cultures. He has never been left out.

You sound like this is really bothering you, I can't quite work out why because clearly you must live in an ethnically diverse area?

ZZZenagain Fri 12-Jul-13 10:06:12

Not being able to socialise with her friends outside of school sounds a bit lonely, even if the school is generally good and has a pleasant social atmosphere.

Where are all the other children from your village school moving to? Can't dd2 move with some of her friends?

JaquelineHyde Fri 12-Jul-13 10:15:30

OP get a grip.

DD1 is the only mixed race child in a class of 29, all the others are white.

DS1 is the only mixed race child in a class of 30, all the others are white.

In DD2's class of 30 there is a Chinese boy and her, all the others are white.

They are all perfectly happy at school and they all joined their classes in the middle of a school year as we moved house.

cory Fri 12-Jul-13 10:21:45

I'm surprised you made this about white/black rather than about ethnic minorities.

Do you mean you would feel more at ease if all your dd's classmates were Polish or Russian than if they were native born Britons who happened to have black skin?

VinegarDrinker Fri 12-Jul-13 10:22:33

They all come from different minority backgrounds but all are forbidden from mixing with "white" kids socially? Sounds a tad unlikely...

DC will likely be the only White British kids in their respective clasps when they start school. I can't see how this is a bad thing at all.

If you were talking about 25 kids all from the same background speaking another language to each other at school and excluding your DD then you just might have a point.

Did she even mention ethnicity or are you just extrapolating from her being a bit overwhelmed by starting somewhere new abs having to make new friends?

VinegarDrinker Fri 12-Jul-13 10:24:15

Btw what do the parents of your elder DD actually say when you invite their kids over to play?

MikeLitoris Fri 12-Jul-13 10:27:27

Dd is the only white girl in her year amd one of only 2k born children.

It has zero effect on her education.

Yabu

noddyholder Fri 12-Jul-13 10:29:53

really this is racist drivel. Why would she be left out? Left out of what?

TobyLerone Fri 12-Jul-13 10:34:26

Thank God it's not just me who thinks so, noddy. I thought I was in some kind of racist twilight zone.

noddyholder Fri 12-Jul-13 10:38:21

I have seen a few things on MN recently that have really shocked me along these lines.

Bedward Fri 12-Jul-13 10:38:29

dd2 did specifically mention this to me, yes, VinegarDrinker, as something that was worrying her.

And no, dd1's friends are not all from the same ethnic background - there is a Chinese girl, don't know backgrounds of other friends as strangely I don't quiz them or their parents on this hmm but they look Indian-ish but some are Muslim, some are Hindu, one is Christian - they're not a unified group, no. But they don't socialise with dd1 outside school - she has said they're not allowed to. A couple have been to our house to work on a homework project but dd1 was not allowed to go to their homes to work on the project - they had to come to ours twice instead. Some of them are allowed to go to the shopping centre after school, but the stuff dd1 would like to do like go to the cinema in the evening, or that kind of stuff, they are not allowed to.

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