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appealing for a school place(15 Posts)
i am constantly in contact with herne bay highs teacher in charge of the group she is in they have tried to help many times by talking to the kids concerned there is one group science where none of the group talk to her it is so petty. my dd is pretty honest and very loving she just wants to belong. we feel as if the whole area rejects us i dont know why. they have changed her groups but to a higher band they say she can cope but she is struggling. it is also the boys who call her slag and say sexual insulting things i cant even write here. my dd isnt a slag dosent even have a boyfriend or go out as she has no one to go with and she is a virgin so the comments are cruel and untrue. its a shame cos the schl is a good one with good teachers. we may have to move again as i cant afford home schooling and am no teacher.... which means more upheaval for her. any advice plse im lost and so down my husband dosent help or understand.
Second Blu;s advice about being pro-active and seeing the school. They have a duty to make sure that your dd is safe and her pastoral needs are met: ask to see their anti-bullying policy and ask what they are doing to make sure the bullying stops. There is absolutely no reason why she should put up with being bullied!
coocachoo, I am really really sorry you and your dd are so unhappy.
In truth, I wonder if you should go to your GP and ask for some counselling? You and your dd seem very frail in the face of difficulty and 'fate'.
I know it is hard, but instead of giving yourself up to woe, do something pro-active. Go into the school and ask for a meeting with the Head of Year. Talk to her / him about your dd's unhapppiness, being bullied etc. Get some help and support for your dd, and ask to see the school's bullying and discipline policy.
Maybe you have done these things?
thanks for your comments my dd is now going to hbhs was happy but now she is being constantly bullied i wish i had chosen another school i thought it was a nice school but for some reason the local kids cant accept someone from another area which is sad my dd is now self harming because of these bullies and we wish we hadnt moved it breaks my heart,
What have you done to make her think that this is not about her at all? Its not personal and they didn't know her to reject her.
Please just explain to her how the admissions system works now.
Your dd is going to be a teenager soon and a grown-up before you know it: how she gets on in life will depend very much on what you can teach her now about how to handle hurdles and deal with minor rejections.
If she is the kind of person who gives up if she doesn't get the first job she applies for and who takes it personally every time somebody else gets given the chance she was hoping for, she will be miserable.
If you can teach her resilience and adaptability she will almost certainly be fine.
Your decision. But you need to start now.
You perhaps need to talk to your daughter about the school system a bit more:
Private schools pick and choose pupils, they interview them (and their parents) and make judgements about who they want.
State schools don't
Applying for a state school is not personal in any way at all.
It is purely numbers and procedures and criteria entered into a computer - literally a case of "computer says no!"
The reason they have offered you a place now is because someone has left (or turned down the offer of a place) and so created a vacancy that you now qualify for.
The reason they couldn't tell you sooner is no vacancy existed before.
There is no mystery - as others have said it is not personal at all and purely down to numbers so swap the uniforms and be pleased!
She wasn't rejected, they just didn't have a space! Tell her not to be a muppet and go get that uniform swapped, and look forward to a great new term in the school you both wanted!
The school did not reject your daughter they just did not have a place for her at the time. If the school was so good for your daughter as you imply in your OP then she should go there. Since the uniform has not been worn it can be returned. Act and decide, there is probably another child hoping for a place.
Thanks for all your replies i was given a appeal date of fri 13th....not good but believe it or not against all the odds and i was give absolutley no chance from the schl of a place they have just offerd us one but as my dd feels rejected by schl shes not sure now and i have just spent 170.00 on schl uniform for other schl why oh why couldnt they have offerd sooner i dont know what to do for best now.....
Have you appealed for a place at your preferred school? As it is a secondary school, you only have to show that your daughter's need for a place there (because of the way in which it can meet her needs) outweighs the school's need not to take another pupil. However, as other posters have already said, this does have to be about her needs and (unless there are very exceptional reasons why she would have to be taken backwards and forwards by a parent) not about yours.
If your dd has severe medical needs or SN which mean she cannot travel alone, as would be expected of teens her age, then she will be eligible for disabled transport: you have to apply to your LEA for this.
My dd went to school by taxi for the whole of secondary, all paid for by the LEA. But this was because of her physical and MH needs. My 13yo ds walks 35 minutes to school every day and that is the normal expectation for his age.
In no way should the school attendance of a 14yo depend on her mum being able to take her.
lougle is right - unless there is a special reason why your DD needs you to accompany her, your own health considerations are not likely to hold much weight at appeal. At 14 it will be assumed that a child can walk a reasonable distance and travel by bus alone.
You say the school will meet her needs - this is what you need to focus on. Her educational, social and medical needs and how the school you are appealing for best meets those. So it might be the GCSEs they offer that others don't or the fact they meet a medical need in a way the others don't.
As your DD is 14, unless you have very good reasons why she needs adult accompaniment, then your own disability will not count. She should be perfectly able to cope on her own.
You need to compare the allocated school with the one you prefer and look at all the things the one you prefer has that the other one doesn't. DO NOT say 'I don't like school x'. Say 'School y has this that and the other which my DD would benefit from hugely.'
can anyone give me any tips so desperate it breaks my heart to see my 14 yr old so sad. we moved to a area for the schl only to be told its to full to take her shes in yr 9 so aged 14 shes lost all hope all schls are bus rides and long walks this one is good for her needs and 5 mins away i am a older mother 55 with arthritus in knees and back and its impossible for me to walk up the hill in queestion 30 mins to top and a bus ride before that. what can i do can i appeal on these grounds.
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