Parents evening..how would you feel if..

(131 Posts)
seeker Thu 25-Apr-13 08:59:54

....one of your child's key teachers said they couldn't attend parent's evening at all because it clashed with their own child's parents evening at another school?

isitsnowingyet Thu 25-Apr-13 09:03:14

I'd feel 'that's bad luck - hey ho'

lovelilies Thu 25-Apr-13 09:04:52

You could arrange to meet with them another time surely? I understand why they want to go to their own child's one....

tiggytape Thu 25-Apr-13 09:07:56

As long as they made arrangements to phone / email any parents who wanted to speak with them, then I wouldn't mind. If they refused any sort of consultation at all (I am sure they wouldn't) then I would not be happy.

iseenodust Thu 25-Apr-13 09:14:02

I'd be fine about it. If I really needed to speak with that teacher I'd book a phone call or ask for a 10 min appt before/after school one day otherwise I'd just go by what the other teachers tell me on the night.

I'd suggest to the school (rather than the individual teacher) that maybe they could plan the evenings alongside other local schools to not clash.

I wouldn't be cross with the teacher though, they've had to make a choice and might have very good reasons for wanting to attend their own child's parents evening.

jennybeadle Thu 25-Apr-13 09:19:22

Exactly as tiggytape says.

Actually DD1's school is moving away from formal parents nights towards more ad hoc contact. It's a massive change for us parents, but makes a lot of sense, because anything which needs attention can theoretically be attended to much more quickly. We're also supposed to get more regular "tracking" reports though to fit with that, and that's not working properly yet, so I suppose it's still not perfect.

lainiekazan Thu 25-Apr-13 09:19:40

If it were year 7 or 8, I'd let it go. Later years the teacher should attend the parents' evening and sacrifice that of their own dc. In year 9 parents want to discuss GCSE options and of course in years 10 and 11 it's grey hair time.

As it is, I'm sure they would meet you/have a telephone conversation at another time if you wish. If they try to sidestep that, I'd e-mail the HoD.

Ragwort Thu 25-Apr-13 09:25:03

I would expect the Teacher to make separate arrangements with her/his own child's school - surely that would be the professional thing to do? Otherwise 30 sets of parents are inconvenienced rather than one? (or have I misunderstood this? confused).

My DH occasionally has to miss parents' evenings becuase of his work - he can't say to his boss 'I refuse to do X becuase I've got a parents' evening I want to attend' - surely that's the same argument?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 25-Apr-13 09:25:05

Definitely the year of the child makes a difference, as lainiekazan says - to be honest, I probably would think it a bit rum that at the same time, a parents' evening was being implied to be so important as to be unmissable in the case of the teacher's child, but so unimportant as to be easily caught up through alternative methods when it comes to everyone else's child, I think. I'd like to say I'd be cool with it and be understanding, but I probably would raise eyebrows a bit.

It's unfortunate that the exact same function is the reason for the teacher to miss this function, I suppose. Although I'm quite surprised they have given a reason: it might have been more sensible to say 'unfortunately Ms M will not be available but....'.

seeker Thu 25-Apr-13 09:37:49

It's year 7. According to DS, on the day they were all supposed to make appointments, Miss X came in and said "please could you tell your parents that I can't be at parents evening, I will be at my daughter's parent's evening"

Just thought it was a bit strange. Apart from anything else, there are only two year 7 teachers in her subject, so she must teach about 80 of them. Even if only 15 of the parents want to see her, won't it be much more of a pain in the neck arranging that than arranging to see her child's teachers another day?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 25-Apr-13 09:39:45

It does seem strange - perhaps there's a reason she particularly needs to be at dd's parents' evening this time or something?

seeker Thu 25-Apr-13 09:41:41

Oh well. At least it means I getnoutnof the cattle market 10 minutes earlier!

<hate parents' evenings!>

Hullygully Thu 25-Apr-13 09:43:20

I do my parents' evenings by email, so much more peaceful.

crazymum53 Thu 25-Apr-13 09:46:19

At dds school if key teachers are unable to attend, the parents are given the school email addresses and asked to contact the teachers for feedback.
Have just had Parents evening this week (Y8) and am aware that most teachers do make an effort to attend. Some teachers at secondary are part-time and the parents evening may be on a day they don't usually work - could this be the case with this teacher?

seeker Thu 25-Apr-13 09:46:25

I've tried that. The bloody teachers then ring me - parents' evening over the phone is even worse than the cattle market. And no chance for any upside down reading while you chat......

Yellowtip Thu 25-Apr-13 09:49:03

I'd be completely relaxed about it. It's only Y7!

Hullygully Thu 25-Apr-13 09:50:04

seeker, you want too much

seeker Thu 25-Apr-13 09:54:03

It's only twice a year I get to use my stealth upside down reading skills- honed to perfection in the Civll Service in the old days when politicians actually paid attention to their civil servants....

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 25-Apr-13 09:55:45

Host a sleepover on Friday straight from school and extract all the planners from school bags instead. Or better yet, wait for report day.... wink

Yellowtip Thu 25-Apr-13 09:56:04

What are you trying to read: other kids' marks?

seeker Thu 25-Apr-13 09:58:22

" Or better yet, wait for report day"

What, and steam them open? That's a good idea.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 25-Apr-13 09:59:29

(I was only joking there by the way! --haven't looked in another child's planner since 2001--)

When the list is there, all tantalizing on the other side of the table at parents' evening, it's difficult not to let your eyes drift a bit though!

Hullygully Thu 25-Apr-13 10:00:33

They all say the same thing, they are computer generated, they just change the kids' names (when they remember) and they aren't allowed to say negative stuff unless the child has killed a few people with an axe when they might get called "over excited"

Hullygully Thu 25-Apr-13 10:00:52

What list?

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