What is a ^good^ reason to miss school?

[ComradeJing]

My SDC are 11 and 14. SDC not in secondary yet and won't be for another couple of years due to the form system in their country.

SDD has just had her report and yet again has been flagged for poor attendance. She has missed about 16% of the term so far according to her report. Missing 10% of days = educational risk according to the report. SDS will have the same as his attendance has probably been even worse.

So, what are good reasons to miss school? Anything from normal days, end of term to school trips.

I'd love to know others opinions so that we can have a think about SDCs absence from school within a bit more context.

[Losingitall]

Only reason I would keep mine off would/have been:
Infectious disease like chickenpox
S&D

That's it. Anything else they get sent in

[Losingitall]

Oh sorry and hospital treatment

[EdithWeston]

Illness or health-realted appointment that could not reasonably be arranged outside school hours, licensed performance, major awards ceremony (if recipient) or other honour. Forces children; return of parent from operational theatre.

[ben5]

ds's have been off for having nits( school policy) hospital appointments, and being sick( poor ds2 I sent him in saying he would be fine and they phoned and asked if I could come and collect him!!)

[EdithWeston]

And sporting commitments, if competing at national level.

[flubba]

84% attendance is a concern. I would agree with others that only health-related absences (serious long-term illness) or bereavement of a close family member could be considered 'good' reasons. We look for 95% attendance as a minimum in our school.

[RiversideMum]

That is a very poor attendance rate - particularly for children of that age. I reach reception and most of the children have attendance over 90% - and that's an age group that copes much less well with coughs and colds. Why do your SDCs miss so much school? What do you think is a good reason?

[LoveAndOtherIndoorSports]

Actively puking or bleeding.

Nothing else.

[dexter73]

I would only let my dd be off school if she was ill (properly ill not sniffs) or a bereavement. She doesn't get duvet days! She has missed lessons when she has an orthodontist appointment but her braces are coming off tomorrow so I don't have to worry about that any more.

[ComradeJing]

Phew, I'm glad I'm not being a wicked step mother then.

My personal feeling is that the only reasons for the majority of children to miss school are:

D&V
Something contagious like chicken pox
Fever
Hospital/specialist appointment but should only miss as much school as necessary (so if appointment is in the morning and near school they should be in school by lunch).

I do not think that it is reasonable to miss school for:
A cold, a tummy ache, a recurrent tummy ache, a headache, a cough, a sore throat, mum feeling sick, because they don't fancy the school trip, because it's the end of term and reports have already been handed out no matter how dull and pointless a day of watching DVDs is. SDC seem to miss a lot of school down to illness. They have good diets and are active children. They never get sick when it is the weekend or they are with us. Not once.

We live overseas for DHs work too and go back to visit frequently and have the kids over here too. We haven't taken them out of school for any of these visits as I told DH years ago that their attendance would be blamed on us if we did. Low and behold MIL told me they had poor attendance because we took them out of school. I took great pleasure in telling her that we hadn't done it at all so could not be blamed on us.

Sorry, this is turning into a bit of a rant but I'm worried about them, I think the reasons they miss school are crap and I/DH doesn't know how to deal with it. Moving back isn't an option as we could never afford to live in that area nor are the jobs near there. We would end up seeing them less than we do now. I think they are also pandered to because their parents divorced. PIL think this is literally the worst thing in the world to happen to children.



sorry it's so long.

[knittedslippersx3]

My dd had a poor attendance rate in the last two years of school. She had some serious emotional issues and also had a few very heavy, painful periods. Could there be something going on that you haven't been told about. Agree that poor attendance is not good and can affect grades. I did not take my dd absences lightly but sometimes her staying off school was the best decision for her and the school understood this.

[Metabilis3]

Migraine would definitely be a reason to be off school. As for a cough - we have a quiet whooping cough epidemic in some parts of this country. Adults and older teens don't get it as such - they get a bad cough without the whoop and without the throwing up. But they still carry the disease. Kids between about 9-14 are NOT protected even if they have been vaccinated. The vaccine wears off, and in the UK we don't give them another booster. They do in the US (now) because they have an above the line epidemic there. My DS was off school for the whole of last half term. We don't know for sure of course but there were apparently lots of older kids at his school with dreadful coughs before Easter. Kids too old to have WC but not, obviously, too old to carry it. And transmit it. So yes, I'd say a bad cough is definitely something you should keep away from school. A couple of days off for you might save another child TWO MONTHS (plus) off.

[ComradeJing]

Knitted I think DH would be devastated if there was a serious emotional issue or some other health issue (regardless of what it was) that kept either of the children off school for an extended period of time and it was decided he didn't need to know or that it wasn't his business or whatever. I feel that if a parent would know if they lived at home they should still know if they don't live at home. Especially if the school new about it or understood the issue.

I'm sorry your DD has been having a hard time of it and glad school understand.

[ComradeJing]

Migraine yes, headache no IMO. The SDC are not getting migraines.

There hasn't been any whooping cough in the area of the country they are in but yes, I do see how that could be a risk. SDCs school did send out a letter about 2 years ago asking that children with X symptom be kept home from school as there was an epidemic of some bug. I'd definitely include this in reasons to miss school.

[noblegiraffe]

84% attendance is shockingly low if there is nothing like major long term illness going on. At my school with that attendance any day off would need a doctor's note or be marked unauthorised as the parents wouldn't be seen fit to authorise absence themselves.

[Kez100]

That's a very poor rate.

My son had regular tonsilitis in year 7 and the same in year 8, culminating in a operation and two weeks off for recovery. In the worst of those years he managed bang on 90%.

[schoolnurse]

Tonsillitis with associated raised temp 38+ pus and pitted tonsils, migraines, infectious D and V (difficult to diagnose and most D and V isn't infectious), significant exacerbation of asthma, recovering from a significant fracture thats impairing mobility, the first 24-48 hours of a really nasty ear infection, genuine flu, any temp over 38+ thats not responding to paracetamol/ibuprofen, any nasty infection again usually with associated raised temp e.g urinary chest etc that is being treated with oral anti biotics for the first 24 - 48 hours, any infectious skin condition in particular scabies which is highly infectious, significant menorragia - uncontrolled bleeding/flooding, oncology patients undergoing chemo who have no white blood cells, anyone one with an acute exacerbation of a chronic illness e.g. arthritis ulcertive collitis etc, insulin dependent diabetics with a significant infection, significant bereavement obviously hospital appointments. Obviously there are more but these are the ones that we see often.

[jalopy]

Temperatures
Diarrhoea and vomiting
Funerals

[Metabilis3]

To all those saying that a cough isn't a reason to stay off school - DD1s school is currently alive with the sound of coughing and sniffling. And now she has come down with it - apparently she was up all night with a dreadful hacking cough. I just heard her coughing when I phoned home (I'm in Prague for a confence). That would be fine except that sh has her grade 7 singing exam on Tuesday. If this doesn't clear up in a couple of days she won't be able to do it (she can't talk at all at the moment). So, massive disappointment to her and £70ish exam fees down the drain for us. So Well Done anyone who sends their child to school with a bad cough like that - they won't be able to concentrate (lack of sleep) they will disrupt the class they are in (constant coughing) and they could really muck up someone else's plans. :( DD1 is distraught (she's been crying her eyes out). Last year she did a piano exam with winter vom, and passed but didn't do herself justice (not surprisingly) but piano isn't important for her so long as she gets to the required standard before she hits the 6th form. Singing on the other hand is her second study and she needs to do very well in it. She can't just turn up and scrape a pass (right now she can't even get a sound out so 'scraping a pass might be a bit academic). :(

[flubba]

Kind of hi-jacking the thread there Metabilis

Sorry your daughter has a cough.

[katykuns]

I tend to keep my daughter off when she has a nasty cold or cough, simply because she finds school challenging enough as it is, without having to sit there coughing and spluttering. She isn't likely to learn very much either.

However, she is 6, I would be tougher on older children/teens.

I haven't ever kept her off for social reasons though. I do know many that do, whether it be a holiday in term time or just because they have family visiting they don't see very often. I don't really agree with that, but I can see why they do. Not really been an issue seeing as we can't afford holidays :/

[Theas18]

Secondary school- ony the same things that would keep me off work.

Infectious stuff that is serious- not a cold or even a "bit of a runny tummy" they are 11+ kids they can go to the lo, wash hands and no spread bugs!

Injuries. DS has missed a few days with a calf tear, fractured collar bone and facial injury (not all together). If you can't actually get upstairs to the loo in the house you aren't going to manage school (ditto if you can't eat/drink without dribbling because your lips are so swollen!). Schools are big places to get about and jostling and busy too so actually that might be quite relevant.

We do have authorised time off for music exams/performances /services too. tHis are generaly coded "educated off site" as would I assume high level sporting endeavour

[HauntedLittleLunatic]

Just trying to get the context of this.

The SDCs do not live with you. They live with their other parent (mother?)
They have low attendance - just to put that into context they are missing 1 day of school most weeks. That is shocking, and defintely of concern. Think the educational welfare officer would be involved in this country at that level.

Can you ask the SDC why they have so much time off?

I think you can justify needing to know on the grounds of (rightly) being concerned about the poor attendance or (rightly) being concerned about their poor health given the amount of time off.

[Metabilis3]

@flubba I wasn't aware that my current personal experiences are less valid or permitted to be mentioned than the others mentioned in this thread. I do apologise for taking up your valuable time.

[schoolnurse]

Theas" "bit of a runny tummy" they are 11+ kids they can go to the lo, wash hands and no spread bugs!"*
All children of what ever age are notoriously bad at personal hygiene (as are adults) and no school will allow a child to come to school with an infectious tummy bug. The public health guidelines are that you must be clear of all symptoms for 48 hours. Many parents find these rules tedious and seem to be under the impression that schools are dreaming these up just to be difficult but it is essential that other children and of course staff are protected especially as some may have underlying illnesses which can easily be exacerbated by D and V. The problem is knowing if your child's runny tummy is infectious gastro-enteritis or the result of eating too many prunes or more commonly in our children a desire to have a few days off school!! We have now devised a protocol in an attempt to weed out the lead swingers and prune eaters from the genuinely unwell and infectious but nothing is fool proof and we have an obligation to err on the side of caution to protect the other children.
I think as parents we are reluctant to keep our children at home when they are ill but we do have to think about other children. Genuine flu can spread rapidly around schools resulting in not only sickness of the other children but staff as well. Most children will not function properly at school with raging tonsillitis and the evidence is that it is better long term to keep children off for 48 hours and get rid of a nasty cold than send them in sniffing and sneezing the symptoms will persist longer and there ability to learn may be affected for longer. We see more and more children with chronic fatigue syndrome/ME/glandular fever I know of no hard research but maybe a few days off school when unwell with a nasty viral infection to really get over it may have prevented this.