To tutor or not to tutor?

[mumwithtwokids]

Hi All,

My DS who attends state school has gained a place at our first choice grammar. We didn't tutor as I had no idea this went on until I stumbbled across the elevenplus site last September which completely freaked me out and made me feel as if I'd let my son down. However having since seen the cost of tutoring we would not have been able to afford it anyway.

So just want to re-assure all parent's who like us won't be tutoring for one reason or another. It can be done so please don't be discouraged as like us you might be pleasantly surprised :)

[hardboiled]

Big congrats to your DS. Is that a grammar in London? They say it's so hard in those, nearly two thousand boys, most have been prepared for it...

[PooShtun]

There is no way my DS would have passed the selection process if we hadn't tutored him.

When we started DS's 11+ prep we sat him down with a sample paper, just so that we get a benchmark figure. He scored 65%. We were told by other parents that DS needed to score at least 85% in order to be confident of a place at our first choice so we home tutored DS for the next 6 months.

In another thread MNetters were talking about how one needs to score 98% to be assured of a place at a highly selective grammar school (I think Tiffins was mentioned) Elsewhere I've read posts about how their DCs 'only' had to score about 65% because the GS was in a rural area and therefore there were less applicants compared to a London GS.

Whenever the subject of tutoring comes up there are the inevitable posts from successful parents who say they didn't tutor their kids. Based on my experiences I have to wonder whether these kids are a lot more intelligent than my DS or else their GS's pass mark isn't nowhere as high as some of the superselectives in and around London.

[mumwithtwokids]

Hi hardboiled - yes it was one of the superselective grammar's in London. I believe in excess of 1,500 children applied.

Pooshtun - we also did 1 practice paper with my DS who also scored around 65% one week before the entrance exam. We still decided to go for it. All I'm trying to do is re-assure other parent's who come September find themselves in the same position as we did.

[mumblechum1]

Same here, ds wasn't tutored but passed the 11 plus (Bucks). I don't personally agree with tutoring, some of the kids in his class who were tutored have really struggled.

[longingforsomesleep]

Demand for grammar school places is so high very few children will pass the eleven plus without being tutored. And in my book a tutor can be a paid individual or a parent. It has always annoyed me when parents say that their child passed the 11+ without a tutor, but omit to say that they did lots of practice with them at home! It can amount to the same thing in my book.

In an ideal world nobody would do any prep for the 11+. But sadly that is not the case so, if you want to level the playing field, parents do need to do some preparation - and diy can be just as effective as paying someone.

The really important, but difficult, thing is, I think, to decide whether your child is grammar school material. You could probably coach a border line child to pass but would grammar school be the best place for them? If you're sure your child is grammar school material and that would be the best place for them, then of course you should prepare them for the exam so they stand a fighting chance against the kids who have been coached within an inch of their lives.

I have 3 chidren at grammar school and practised with them all at home. Two passed by a high margin and are doing well/ok. The third just scraped a pass but is doing brilliantly well. He wouldn't have passed without some input from me, yet grammar school is clearly the right place for him.

[PooshTunTheTrollFeeder]

"The really important, but difficult, thing is, I think, to decide whether your child is grammar school material"

I totally agree.

I often read posts from parents going on about how their DC or someone they knew was tutored for entrance exams and then struggled once they were in. I suspect that many were what you termed 'border line'.

We heavily DIY tutored both our Dcs and while they won't be wining any academic prizes they are thriving and are by no means struggling.