DD not happy with school

[OrmRenewed]

She started off OK but for some reason she is now quite unhappy. She says she hates school and wants to stay home. I can't get her to tell me any specific reason for this - she's made friends, she isn't being bullied, she likes her tutor. The teachers are much more erm 'forceful' than in primary - one of them shouted at the class last week and that upset DD. She has too much hw apparently although once she got down to it she got it all done quite quickly. DS1 is being (surprisingly) supportive in helping her find her way around and reassuring her.

Do we just have to wait it out? I know it's early days. DS1 loves it but then again he was fed up with primary. DD was very much a big fish in a little pond in primary and didn't want to leave. She was top of class for all subjects and I am worried we made a mistake sending her to this school away from all her friends, if she loses ground dramatically and is unhappy.

Any tips gratefully received.

[mumblechum]

Has she just gone into yr7 last week? If so I'd say it's far too early to make a fuss. It takes at least half a term for them to find their feet ime.

[OrmRenewed]

Yes, year 7. It is too early isn't it? But it's such a change for her to hate school DS slotted in instantly. I sort of hoped she'd be the same.

[scurryfunge]

I think she needs to give it time. ( I am assuming she has just started secondary school last week?)

She will have to accept that things are vastly different in secondary and that it will take a while. If she is happy with her friendship groups, then that is the main thing.

Help her devise a homework timetable if she feels overwhelmed by it.

Year 8 pupils usually have a parents' evening in the first term so you can raise any issues then.

[Hassled]

I do feel for her - my DD never really got to grips with High School. I think the more shouty teachers come as a nasty shock after the relative cuddliness of most primary teachers - and that big fish in a small pond thing is often an issue.

And it's the worst sort of age in terms of little girls being cows to each other - all those hormones kicking about. They really can be witches - boys just get on with it.

Has she just started Yr 7? Is there a pastoral suppport person you could talk to? Is there anything you can do to encourage a social life - getting someone round after school maybe? It is such a huge change - DS2 (now Yr8) found it overwhelming for really the first half-term. Hopefully she'll settle down with time.

[mumblechum]

DS hated it till the January of yr 7, now he merely dislikes it

[bigTillyMint]

My DD is loving her new school, but is also struggling with the amount of homework. One of her friends seems to be struggling with the sheer numbers of pupils.

I think it's normal for them to need some time to adjust, but it's hard watching them struggle.

DD is at a huge school with just a few friends from primary (she didn't want to leave, either ), but she seems to be following my advice of smiling at everyone (tho not so she looks like a loon!) and chatting as much as she can.

If she is really struggling, can you contact her form tutor and have a chat?

[OrmRenewed]

Thanks for your suggestions.

I will contact the tutor -she seems very approachable - but I might leave it a bit longer to see if DD settles. She's be mortified if she thought mummy was making too much fuss

So far DD had only invited friends from her old school to our new house (moving house just before she started a new school was crap timing!). I've suggested inviting new friends but I don't think she feels ready for that at the moment. One of the girls goes to her riding school too which helps.

[Doobydoo]

Poor you!
Ds1 has just started secondary,has been for 1 week.and feels the standard is too high and toomuch homework and has to try to find his way to classes.It is awful but we expected at least a couple of months of this[and mood swings etc]we hope he will be able to manage his time and get some sleep etc! It is part of himbecoming more responsible.He went from a small primary that he was at for 5 months,prior to that he was home edded.Try not to worry it is early days!We are giving it till Christmas

[OrmRenewed]

Hurray! DD joined the choir, she volunteered to help out when they show prospective parents around at open evening, and she has invited a new friend back after school tomorrow.

I am so happy

[FrogPrincess]

that's fantastic! So pleased for both of you (because we do worry so much about them, much more than they do!)