Help. DD (5.8) is in floods of tears about going to holiday club

(7 Posts)

I work full-time. I get 25 days holiday a year. DP is self employed so getting him to take leave at all is hard.
DD goes to breakfast and after school club and has been full days in nursery since 10m old so is well used to childcare.

DD went to nursery almost ft and DS is now there 5 days a week. They also have a lovely holiday club running next door (grounds of a college so in holiday time they get to use all the college facilities). It takes children from 5-14 yrs and DD went in Feb half term and at easter - a few days each week.
I have booked her in for 2 days this half term and she is in bits. She keeps saying she doesn't like it and misses me too much. Yet when she went in the other holidays, she came skipping out saying book me in all week!

I think it's because in the last week of Easter, she did not know anyone there. The other times, she's met ex nursery friends. She can be shy and she told me she tried to talk to a group of 8 yr olds and they ignored her, which totally devastated her (not blaming them, they're 8!) (My heart sank for her though).
I mentioned I'd speak to the staff, who all seem lovely, but that produced more tears with cries of 'let me make my own friends in my own way'. I explained that wasn't what i was suggesting but that I'd just have a quiet word with them so she wasn't ignored or left alone.

She is begging me not to send her. I have no choice. We are using up friends' offers for the Tues and Fri as it is and I have no family around. I can't take any time off that week and nor can DP.

Do I just take her and fingers crossed it'll be like a bad drop off at nursery and she'll be fine?

What I need to give her is armour to cope and I'm not sure how.

nocheeseinhouse Sun 20-Jul-14 22:34:52

(hug) Firstly, what a great example to your DD you are of a working woman.

However, and this may not be helpful, when my child did this consistently, I made other arrangements. You think you know why it is, but there could be something she's not telling, or can't articulate. Are there any other holiday clubs, or activities around? Or a childminder willing to have her? Offering her another option (which may be less appealing!) could help pin point whether this is something with a good reason behind it, or something to be got over.

Thanks for responding. I made other arrangements for this summer and she has gone to Kings Camps at a local private school at an eye watering cost, with swimming etc.
Same has happened. This morning I left her getting changed for swimming in floods of tears so I feel fairly shite today. She's booked in for just the week, then we're on holiday next week thank god.
I don't understand why. There are all types of kids who arrive in the morning - some shy, some happy, all ages. All seem to have a good time.
I think this is something my DD has to get over. She just seems to struggle with new situations. But unless she sees that things do work out OK and it's a safe place to be, everything will seem too scary.

Or am I being unfeeling? I feel awful but unless we want to live in a tent, I have to go to work sad

AnnDaloozier Tue 29-Jul-14 12:12:06

You want to find a student or something with some oomph. Come to yours and be a parent type figure

AnnDaloozier Tue 29-Jul-14 12:12:51

Maybe thd kid just wants to slob. Be at home. Have a holiday. A nanny student person would mean ages not relentlessly organised.

CMOTDibbler Tue 29-Jul-14 12:25:26

I'd talk to the staff and see how she is during the day - is she having fun then and its just the going in thats a problem, or does she not engage all day? If its just going in, then to some extent you do have to be matter of fact about it all.

I think nearly 6 is a tricky age for holiday club - not old enough to be with the full on children, too old for the childminder kind of things. Is there a scheme that isn't a Kings club, but just run by a private school near you? Ds's is normally 20 children 6-11 sometimes more, and a good split of calm, unorganised time, outdoor activities, sport, craft, cooking and trips with enough staff to engage a shy child

My ds is in holiday club 5 days a week for 5 weeks this summer - no choice on any of our parts, so I do sympathise with the worry about it all

Thanks for asking. They said she was OK yesterday. There were a few tears during the day but nothing major. She was emotional as soon as I came to collect her yesterday - she was sitting on the lap of a staff member and burst into tears when she saw me.
They have promised to call me if she isn;t coping and so far, no call. So I have to assume she's doing OK.
I suspect she will cope but won't really enjoy it much. She's going back to the smaller holiday club next to DS's nursery in August but I know she'll have at least one friend she knows well there this time so I'm not so worried. I thought this sort of thing was for her, but maybe it's too full on. Daft thing is, I know once DS starts all this in 2 yrs, she'll be fine. If she has someone she's fine. But she just has to plough through this.

I have terrible memories of holiday club in the 1980s but then my mum was a shite parent, so its' probably coloured by that. It's killing me that she's not happy and there's fuck all I can do about it this minute/week.

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