How important to you is the school run?

[LetsPlayBamboozled]

DD is 21 months. We don't have family nearby so she has barely been left with grandparents for a couple of hours. I find it hard to imagine her going to nursery. But we are surviving in London on one salary whilst I am a SAHP so soon I will need to work. I feel like doing the school run will be important to me. However, having not left DD with anyone I think this could be clouding my judgement (can't imagine a childminder/nanny etc doing it)

I need to think about what kind of job to get. I am looking at supermarkets hoping I can be flexible for school hours. But maybe the school run is essentially a nightmare of chasing to be somewhere on time and actually it's silly to base a career decision around it?? I just wondered how other SAHP's feel about it? Hope that makes sense!

[originalmavis]

I work but do the school run.

I like to have the time to chat before school and did out about his day after. I also like being able to see what's going on at school, see the teachers and other mums/his friends.

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Hi I think I can empathise with where you're coming from I have thought about the same for when my youngest starts school as I will be looking for a part time job then and I have wondered about what job I could do to fit in doing both a drop off and pick up. For me I think I will need to use the breakfast club most days or afterschool club but possibly not both drop off and pick up at normal times iykwim. My background before being a sahm was nhs and local government work which does do some part time roles.

[DubiousCredentials]

I would be very surprised if you could get a job in a supermarket that allowed flexible school hours.

[Kruckshany]

I'm going to base my career around the school run in some sense. My mum was rarely able to do it for me and I felt very envious of my friends whose parents could. But I'm happy to settle on it just being drop off or pick up, rather than both. Or maybe I'll work 3 days a week so I can do a couple of pick ups, speak to teachers if I need to etc.

[nothingtoadd]

I loathe the school run. I work pt and am about to go full time. Part of it is to actually avoid the school run.

The reasons are difficult to explain, and with a toddler even more so... However...

I hate the faffing about in the morning and general chivvying. Just do it! It's the same thing every day! We have a financial reward system in place now which works a treat, but I feel I often start the day cross.

I hate all the knobhead parents and childminders parking like idiots rather than using the designated car parks. I'm lucky enough to be close enough to walk, but people just sitting there with engines on for 15 mins morning and evening winds me up. Then after drop off/collection they speed away. Why rushing on every journey?

I hate that every newsletter asks parents not to let their children play on schools equipment. Every day it's a bloody riot. So dangerous.

I hate that my kids are pleased to see me but then 2 seconds later start relentless questions and whining about doing something more fun . Even on club days they whinge.

I don't have any cliquiness, and I do go in and help out, but honestly the school run I'm not going to miss.

I'm getting an AuPair so she can do it

[madamginger]

I work in a supermarket and it's taken me 9 years to get hours to suit around school and my DC still have to go to after school club one day a week.

[LetsPlayBamboozled]

nothing you have summed up my fears! If I don't enjoy it, ha, more fool me and my plans!

I think I may be having that experience at the mo like when you have no money and you see clothes you want to buy but when you need a specific item, can you find anything you like? Nooooo. I am constantly seeing jobs I can't currently do because I have DD in the day, but that would fit if she was at school. The supermarket posts are tending to be one weekend day then two week days that would fit. I bet I can't find the hours once she is at school!

Kruckshany I feel the same, we had numerous babysitters or went to a local childminders and I remember never feeling relaxed until Mum collected us.

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

I've always worked evenings and weekends is that an option? Dh and I are like passing ships but we don't need to worry about childcare. (he is 9-5, I'm 6-10)

[DrLockhart]

OP, I have similar views to yourself, in that I was at a childminders from age 4 to 11. It only happened very occasionally, but I loved my mum picking me up. I was adamant I would pick my children up when I was a parent. Ha! How wrong I was.

I'm similar to nothing I dislike the school run.

With DD, I do the school run one day a week as I work 4 days. That particular morning is always stressful because we are more relaxed on that day and then rush about (the othe 4 days we can all be up, dressed, fed by 7.25am!). She then cries that she's leaving me when I drop her off or is horrible / tantrumming on the way.

She is lovely for all of 20 seconds when I pick her up and then whines, moans, cries or tells me off for not bringing her scooter / bike / something she's failed to tell me to bring.

I think and have threatened previously to her why bother not working on that 5th day as it's more stressful than work.

Childminder says she's brilliant and perfect when she picks and drops her off.

I love my CM, she's amazing and I feel no guilt dropping DD off at hers for her to take her to school I can then avoid the idol parent chit chat, and idiotic parking

For years, I thought that being at the school for drop off and pick up was the be all and end all of being a good parent - it really isn't.

[vikingorigins]

I had to go PT when DD started school because DH can't do the school run. I hate it.

BUT, he used to do half the drop offs and all the pickups when our other Dc were little, and I found I didn't know what was going on. Schools tend to leave notices on the door so if you don't go up there you miss it. You don't know their friends, or their friends mothers, or the teachers. You are a step removed from them. I used to hate coming home from work and finding a strange child at our house. Plus they would chat to him in the car about what they'd done at school and had moved on once I got home, so when I asked them about their day I'd just get "boring".

With DD I know her friends and their parents. If I'm stuck I know who I can call to help me out. I can pop in and speak to the teacher at the end of the school if I need to. I'm there to see everyone else is clutching a notice, and send her back in to get hers when she has forgotten. I can see she has forgotten her coat/bag/lunch box/cardigan and look for it straight away. (DS3 lost a school sweatshirt at least once a term, never to be seen again).

[Haggisfish]

Honestly, not at all. I do one drop off and pick up a week and that is plenty enough for me. I would try and negotiate to do one pick up if you can. It's only important to me I. Terms of seeing teacher-I don't really talk to any parents.

[AppleAndBlackberry]

What did you do before children? I do the school runs currently but I would choose a higher paid job over being able to do the school run if you have something that you could return to. Kids are perfectly happy to either go with a childminder or go to before/after school club (I've used both in the past).

[allegretto]

I used to never do it and then I changed jobs and almost always do it. It has really been a help to understand dcs' friendships and what is going on at school - I never really used to know classmates well. Dcs never really talk in the way home though and hate to be questioned about the day!

[idontlikealdi]

I work but do all drop offs and collect twice a week. I really like the walk home where they chat about their day before getting into the house and distracted.

[Muddlewitch]

I hate the school run but do feel guilty that I never pick them up. I compromised by negotiating a slightly later start at work which means I drop them off most mornings. Although I still hate it.

[nothingtoadd]

Glad I'm not alone

One thing I would say is that in the last year parentmail has really taken off in our school so there are fewer slips of paper to lose.

There are also fb groups to catch up (spellings/homework) if missed.

[Muddlewitch]

That would be a godsend for me nothing I have 4 children at 3 different schools and am really crap at keeping on top of all the forms/letters/homework.

[Pico2]

I do all drop offs and collect twice a week.

Our school is very good at communicating through email & text, no need to be there to know what is going on for everyday stuff. The class teacher also responds really quickly to emails. So doing the school run is more about meeting other parents or seeing the teacher where a conversation is needed.

[LetsPlayBamboozled]

So interesting to read all your responses. I suppose nursery drop off might give a taster of it.

Apple I was self-employed but that has gone out of the window as I was selling on a website who no longer wish to sell my items. I had expected that to see me through early years of kiddiwinks and then see if I fancied something that could actually earn some decent money once initial school years had passed.

If we move out of London there's not so much pressure to decide yet as rent would be lower..

[Pico2]

More important to me is how long DD is in an after school club for (a CM is an alternative). For me it seems a bit much to send a small child to after school club until 6pm regularly. Getting them fed, bathed, reading done and into bed after a 6pm pickup would be too much.

But all of that depends on the specific circumstances and child. I know people who have small children in after school club until late every day. If that's what they choose or have to do then they make it work.

[irregularegular]

I think it is good to be able to do it some of the time. Knowing the school, teachers, other children and parents is important, and hard to do without being at the school a few times a week.

But not doing it every day is a positive bonus, I think. Many mothers I knew who did that were driven to distraction by it by the end. Whereas I ( very much a part-timer at the school gate) still positively enjoyed it as a way to catch up.

[Starduke]

DH or I do the morning drop off.

Grandparents (and soon a childminder) do the afternoon pickups.

Where we are it's almost always parents dropping off in the morning but from when I was on maternity leave I know that the vast majority of pickups are done by childminders so I really don't feel like I'm missing out. I bump into some parents at the local park where everyone goes.

DS doesn't like talking about his day anyway, he drip feeds during the evening or the following days.

I definitely wouldn't base my career around school drop offs and pick ups, but where I live (not UK) it's considered "early" to leave work to get home for 7pm so leaving to do the school run would be impossible!

[mishmash1979]

My mum didn't work until we were all settled in secondary school and I want to do the same more my children. We have a great family life without the extra salary and my spare time means I can hunt out the best bargains. I wouldn't want to miss collecting my children as teachers don't have time to talk in the morning at drop off or forget what u have told them! It's all the other school stuff that is important to me though like sorts days, school holidays, last minute sickness or strike day!! Am pleased we are in a position for me to stay home.

[Meggymoodle]

School run is important for me, but that's because I work from home, so actually it's the focal points in my day whereas otherwise I'd just sit in my back bedroom office all day and not go out.

I also think the most important point is how long your child is out of the house - for us 8-6 in childcare would not have been an acceptable childcare solution. I know it works for some people and others don't have a choice but I think when they first start school they get totally knackered.

[FV45]

I work full time from home. I love doing the morning school run. I rarely do the afternoon one and don't really enjoy that one so much.

It is nice to be able to show your face at school now and again. Nice for you, the staff and your children.