My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

SAHP

Sahp and housework work

20 replies

ArriettyMatilda · 03/09/2015 17:10

Just wondering how things are done in other families. I have one dd 20 months and do try to do the housework in the daytime. I tend to do all laundry. Dp usually washes up most evenings as I always cook because he is not home in time to cook. Occasionally the housework gets on top of me and we end spending half a day or day at the weekend doing it- usually about once a month. How is housework split in your house and how old are your children?

OP posts:
Report
NickyEds · 04/09/2015 16:08

I have a 20 month old ds and a 7 week old dd. We normally run things in a very similar way to you, I do the vast majority of the housework with some spilling into the weekend if ds is ill or I am particularly busy one week. At the moment with dd being so little we're just keeping on top of it during the week and doing a big clean at the weekend, with it being split much more 50:50. As dd gets bigger we'll most likely go back to how it was. I'm quite happy with that. I don't see housework as mine alone to do as such, more that if I can I'd rather get it out of the way during the week leaving weekends for family time.

Report
ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 04/09/2015 16:16

Mine are ten,five and two. Tbh my husband is willing to help out whenever needed but I'm mostly on the ball and so he's not had to do much. Last week I wasn't feeling well and he came in and hoovered upstairs and cleaned the bathroom. At the weekend hel put on a wash if need be.

He always offers to do the dishes and I mostly say no. Hes happy to bath the kids but usually shoots to the gym after that so I mostly do bedtime although sometimes he will do it before he leaves.

Report
nottheOP · 04/09/2015 16:18

At 20 months DS napped every day for 2-3 hours in his cot, so I did it all. I could also do lots of stuff when he was awake by that stage.

Report
MrsPear · 11/09/2015 15:54

I would say I do the vast majority. H sometimes drops rubbish in the bin or once in a blue moon hovers but that's it. Two children age 2 and 5. No hired help.

Report
GrouchyKiwi · 11/09/2015 16:01

I have a 3 year old and a 13 month old. I try to get it all done during the day but it doesn't always happen. DH mows the lawns at weekends or in the evening, takes out all of the rubbish (unless I'm feeling charitable) and does anything else I ask him to do.

Report
3perfectweemen · 03/12/2015 13:59

I get a shower before children get up. Make bed tidy room b4 leave it tidy each child's room as I get them up down stairs clean kitchen brush floors while kids eat breakfast stick a wash on. Oldest child leaves for school I wash floors and yongest and I sit up watching peppa pig to they dry. Then I dress wash him he is 23 months. I have all done by 10am. Then at 5 pm I make dinner. I would do loads mince do spaghetti Bolognese and make a lasagne for next day so no cooking every other day. Then I'd make large pot Irish stew does two days. I'm on 3rd trimester of pregnancy. I work full time but off 4 days one week three days next week. My top tip is do it as u go along so less work in one go

Report
Mumwithdilemmas · 19/01/2016 18:47

We have a 3.5 year old son & 2 year old daughter. I clean six bedrooms & bathrooms everyday, three reception rooms, the kitchen. Make all the bread & cakes for the day, prepare all meals from scratch by 10:00. I do 1 washload for 5 of us, look after my future father in law who lives with us.

My fiancé is more than happy to help but as he works fulltime it doesn't seem correct to ask him. His job is working to provide & mine is to run our home.

Report
KondosSecretJunkRoom · 25/01/2016 13:30

I have an 8,6 and 2yo. I do the laundry, most of the food work and generally keep on top of the tidying as much as I can. Dh will pick up any of the slack when he gets home. I have a cleaner who comes once a fortnight because inevitably we get a bit derailed here and there and it gets things back on track.

I have no guilt when asking dh to help, not that I have to ask. The evenings can be hectic with homework to help with, clubs to get to and from, dinners to get made alongside keeping dc3 safe from his Evil Kineval antics. I'd think a lot less of dh if he just plonked his full- time working ass down on the couch in the middle of all that.

Report
umiaisha · 07/02/2016 08:38

Our 3 are 1, 4 and 9.

I do 95% of stuff before they get up, which leaves me just to wipe round the bathroom once everyone has finished in the morning and the washing which I do at some point each day. I clean the kitchen as i go, as with hoovering and mop my kitchen at the end of the day.

I only iron once a week, once the kids are in bed and refuse to tidy up toys all day long - they clear up before they gave their bath/bed.

The main thing I find helps is minimising mess but having strict rules about only eating at the table. I have friends/relatives whose kids wander round eating biscuits, toast etc messing up the house in the process!!

Report
umiaisha · 07/02/2016 08:55

Oh and sorry missed the point - dp sometimes folds up the washing or runs the Hoover round at the weekend but other than that it is down to me. He does work long hours and is away quite a bit and i prefer to get it down in the week so weekends can be family time.

Report
Cakescakescakes · 08/02/2016 15:35

I struggled for ages with this (2 DC 4&1, older one with autism) as dh works crazy hours to allow me to be sahm/carer to autistic DS. Recently we bit the bullet and got a cleaner for 2hrs once a week. Costs £10/hr and has been amazing - we aren't minted so it was a considered move. DH is really great with the kids but does nothing in the house (will maybe empty the dishwasher or something) I can keep on top of the washing, cooking, shopping etc but just having someone do a thorough dust, Hoover, bathroom clean etc once a week has taken an incredible load off. Worth the financial stretch. But I appreciate have a child with SN makes things a bit different and a cleaner isn't the answer for everyone.

Report
NewLife4Me · 08/02/2016 15:39

We have always done half and half split, as dh believed as I do that when dc are at home they need your attention, whilst jobs can be done anytime.
I used to chill or nap when they did.
We had a rule of no housework apart from odd bit of washing at the weekend.
Mine are grown up now, but from being little we got into the habit of sharing.
Dh also does DIY, decorating, gardening, maintenance, cars etc.

Report
Primaryteach87 · 11/02/2016 01:44

Wowee you ladies do loads!

I do most washing, cook mostly during the week and tidy up during the day. He does all folding, ironing etc. He cooks mostly at the weekend. Everything else is equal.

Report
mogloveseggs · 11/02/2016 01:48

I do most of it. Dh will pop a wash on and hoover if I ask. Emptying bins is his job, as is putting out the recycling. Whoever cooks the other washes up.

Report
StarCat · 12/02/2016 09:38

I don't do half of the above, any of you want to come round mine?

Report
mogloveseggs · 15/02/2016 07:50

Starcat I find tidying others houses easier than my own lol.

Report
Hurryhurryhurry · 10/06/2016 18:20

I am shit at keeping a tidy house. I have a 6yr old & 2yr old.
I try to do 2 rooms a day. Plus the dishes & laundry each day.
I am more productive in the mornings but when the weather's nice I abandon everything, inc the dishes to either tend to garden, take dog for a walk or go to park, but when I go out I'n usually out all day.
I come home to a mess and just can't be arsed!
My dh works away, so is only home weekends.

Report
Pollyputhtekettleon · 10/06/2016 18:34

Our situation is that I work full time from home. Day works all god-given hours. I've a nanny who is incredible and keeps everywhere tidy and nice in the way I would hope to if I wasn't working (she also does all the laundry etc), I've a cleaner who comes for 2hrs a week and does floors and bathrooms and I've 3 kids under 3, so chaotic and messy in general. I think that anytime someone walked into our house they'd find it tidy and comfortable but I'm quite a Monica about tidiness, even with the kids so I keep everything under control, even on the weekends when the nanny isn't here. To the point that I think I should be playing with the kids rather than constantly tidying up. Overall I do very little housework other than regular tidying and cooking thanks to my fab nanny and the cleaner. My DH does little or no housework but I feel he works so much (often every day till midnight and all weekend too) I can't ask anything of him. But overall I'm lucky that we have such good support to keep the house ticking over.

If I was a SAHM I think I would try very hard to get all housework done as part of my 'job' but I would definitely try to have a cleaner come at least 2 hrs a week. I think with 3 tiny children it would be tough to keep all the housework done to the standard I would want.

Report
Pollyputhtekettleon · 10/06/2016 18:34

Day =DH

Report
Pollyputhtekettleon · 10/06/2016 18:38

Kondosecretjunkroom...love the username, lol!

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.