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A ladies point of view please im sorry its so long

(187 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

bigbear38 Wed 09-Jul-14 16:54:32

I have been with my partner for 8 years now. We have 1 son. She moved in with me pretty much straight away. I have always been very sucessful and ran my own business own my own house and have a savi business head. She has never really had any great jobs that really brought in much money. When my son was born she wanted to go back to work part time and put my son in nursery but with the nursery fees she would be hardly earing much more money so i told her she should stay at home and help me with my bills and paperwork and i would giveher some money to help her pay for the bills but she wanted to go back as she wanted her own freedom and her own money so she went back to work. We agreed that when she isnt at work she would spent the other days dedicated to doing my company work but everytime i got home hardly anything had been done. She would make an excuse up saying that she had to clean the house or take car of the baby Or that i hadnt given her a list of what to do but anyone with half a brain would know to look on the computer and go through the accounts, do a bit of research but with her always a reason why not to do something.It would really annoy me because i would fall behind with sending out my bills and so therefore in turn i wouldnt get paid. She cant understand that its important to get this stuff done because its our family business, although she does pay all the utility bills, i still pay for the mortgage, repairs on the house and any little treats at the weekend plus buying the nice things for the house. She gets really angry when i call her up on it and says i shouldnt be pressurising her and making her feel inadiquate when i dont share my chores with the baby but at the end of the day i am working a manual job and running around all day (mostly after everyone else) she is just sat at a desk all day when shes at work. She also really annoys me because her idea of cleaning up is throwing everything into a cupboard instead of clenaing it properly. I told her the other day that she should do one of her super cleans in the kitchen bcasue it gets grubby from the toddler but she just find any excuse not to do it. Some days i get up to go to work only to find there are no clean work clothes what does she do all day?????? We had a huge row last week because i got home from a really busy day and she had made me soup i was so pissed off!! Had i have known she had made me soup i had got myself some lunch. I was starving and had to then go out to a shop and buy junk food. Another thing that really gets my goat about this person is she just isnt like a real women she isnt bothered about nice soft furnishings for the house like pictures and nice cushions etc if i call her upon it she says she cant afford it after paying the bills and the 2 sofas that she pays for but yet she can go out and buy coffee with friends. Other women make such an effort with their house and make sure that it well presented but its like shes just not bothered she would rather bury her head in the sand like a moron. I feel like she isnt being a partner towards me and that she is just taking and not putting in. I feel that she is not making any contribution or effort towards our home. I looked after my son the other afternoon for a couple of hours but was pissed off to find there was not any baby food for him. She said it was because he no longer has jars and she cooks him pasta or fresh food but to be honest i just thought it was an excuse because of her laziness. In the morning when she gets up and gets him ready for nursery she gets him ready on the bed where im sleeping its so annoying and disrespectful. I think she would rather lay in bed all day festering than do anything productive. She says im abusive towards her but im just telling her for her own good because she comes from a diferent back ground than me. She has come from a background where having a nice house and nice things isnt important hence the reasons of why i think she is lazy when it comes to the upkeep of the house.Can anybody offer me any advice as to what to do with this person or any similar experiences? i feel that i am gouing round in circles with her. She is ruining our family. Do i just cut my losses and find someone who can step up and be a women and appreciate the things she has????? Thank you in advance

Spanglecrab Wed 09-Jul-14 16:57:51

2 out of 10

BathildaBagshot Wed 09-Jul-14 16:57:52

Honestly? I wouldn't expect much sound advice from women on here, as you sound like a dick.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 09-Jul-14 16:59:31

Frankly, if she's such a terrible disappointment to you, set the poor woman free rather than keep criticising her. hmm You sound very unpleasant and I think she could do a lot better

GoatsDoRoam Wed 09-Jul-14 16:59:49

You clearly don't like her.

And you clearly only want a partner who will do things exactly as you want and think they should be done. (hint: there is no such person.)

Trampampoline Wed 09-Jul-14 17:00:17

1. PARAGRAPHS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

2. Yes, you are abusive and controlling.

NEXT!!

BathildaBagshot Wed 09-Jul-14 17:00:49

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This is a joke, right? Except it's not funny.

Trampampoline Wed 09-Jul-14 17:02:13

ooh I hope the DW turns up

forumdonkey Wed 09-Jul-14 17:02:30

LTB - she can do better than you

bialystockandbloom Wed 09-Jul-14 17:02:42

Are you serious?! This is not the 1950s anymore. She is not your servant - she is working full-time either at her job, on 'your company', and looking after your son who is a toddler, so will be very time-consuming.

She has the gall to get your son ready on the bed where you're sleeping? Omg how very dare she.

I didn't know to qualify as a "real woman" you had to have an interest in cushions and soft furnishings shock

You mention respect - think you need to look in the mirror.

This must be a joke, though, right?

myusernameis Wed 09-Jul-14 17:02:54

I was with you up until she stopped being a real woman because she isn't interested in soft furnishings..

ilovelamp82 Wed 09-Jul-14 17:02:57

If this isn't a reversal, you have the wrong audience. No
advice really. 'Find someone who can step up and be a woman'. Wow!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Wed 09-Jul-14 17:03:16

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monal Wed 09-Jul-14 17:04:03

Previous posters: how did you even read this? Kudos.

forumdonkey Wed 09-Jul-14 17:04:21

I'd like to high five this woman, for not washing this dickheads clothes for one and putting up with a moaning whining twat as long as she has

momb Wed 09-Jul-14 17:05:09

Goodness. That is difficult to read as there are no paragraphs so forgive me if my summary is incorrect:
I think that you are saying that your partner, who works and is the primary care giver to your son, does the household management and pays the household bills, does not do your business accounts without being given guidance , once changed the baby on her own bed, once gave you soup for dinner, is not interested in cushions....and for these reasons you are speaking of her with disrespect and considering ending the relationship?
well I like to think I'm a Lady so here is my point of view: biscuit

KittiesInsane Wed 09-Jul-14 17:05:26

I love the 'had to go and buy junk food'.

Nice touch, OP.

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SolomanDaisy Wed 09-Jul-14 17:07:01

Gosh, will nobody think of the cushions?

headlesslambrini Wed 09-Jul-14 17:07:54

I second the use of paragraphs

Bigbear - really you couldn't think of a better NN?

Bifauxnen Wed 09-Jul-14 17:07:57

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BeetlebumShesAGun Wed 09-Jul-14 17:08:23

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CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 09-Jul-14 17:08:38

LOL! It was the phrase 'savi (sic) business head' that I liked. So thick, yet so full of himself.

forumdonkey Wed 09-Jul-14 17:09:38

But should the cushions match the curtains?!!

JollyGolightly Wed 09-Jul-14 17:09:48

Are you the guy with the massive cock from earlier?

Is the business head as big as his enormous bell end?

Small jaw and lack of cushion care.
<shakes head>

QuintessentiallyQS Wed 09-Jul-14 17:10:00

Sadly, there is no cure for Cuntitis, but at least, it is not contagious!

MiniTheMinx Wed 09-Jul-14 17:10:50

"This woman" "This Person" you really don't like this "person" do you.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 09-Jul-14 17:11:21

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MissFruits Wed 09-Jul-14 17:12:56

Uh oh, I think my dp may actually be a real woman as he buys all the soft furnishings and is always arranging the cushions to look just so!

greenhill Wed 09-Jul-14 17:13:08

'Rather bury her hand in the sand like a moron', could you possibly mean ostrich?

My advice: you need a secretary to help you with your spelling, punctuation and grammar; for your awful attitude you need other types of professional help.

forumdonkey Wed 09-Jul-14 17:13:27

OP she hasn't time for the housework or the washing or soft furnishings buying or your accounts cause while you are running your empire she's shagging your mate with the bigger dick and thats why she's sore wink

If you are worried about your soft furnishings Op, try one of these bad boys.

Kleptronic Wed 09-Jul-14 17:15:50

I need new cushions. I hate cushions though. <helpful>

Kleptronic I can recommend a good website. Nice, neutral abusive cushions for all.

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf Wed 09-Jul-14 17:22:17

I like the Modern Family episode where Jay and Gloria argue about the number of cushions on the bed.

But of course, unlike the OP, they are fictional.

I'd love to reply properly but I'm busy arranging my cushions just so

Jolly, yes.

Stick 'Dachsmeister' ('I've got a big knob' troll NN) through the MN search engine at the top of the page.

Observe what emerges. The deleted massive shaft convo aaaaand - one other conversation, in Feminism, about women becoming childcarers at the expense of their earnings.

Research, I expect.

Apologies to MN for breaking the rules, but I'm a little bored with this guff now

ChangelingToday Wed 09-Jul-14 17:27:17

It was reference to your partner as 'this person' that annoyed me. You clearly don't see her as your partner or equal but as some sort of servant and housekeeper. That attitude must be depressing for her to have to put up with everyday, no wonder she doesn't want to do anything when you show such obvious resentment for her!

ApproachingATunnel Wed 09-Jul-14 17:28:03

I have gotten through the half of OP and my advice is this: fuck this shit, she needs to get away from you, poor woman!

pilates Wed 09-Jul-14 17:28:49

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TSSDNCOP Wed 09-Jul-14 17:29:16

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WellWhoKnew Wed 09-Jul-14 17:32:30

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MummyKnight Wed 09-Jul-14 17:34:25

This can't be serious surely! If it is I'm amazed your partner has stayed with you as long as she has. I think she should go out for the whole day and leave you behind with your son and let's see if you can accomplish any of the things you expect her to do in a day.

Massive round of applause for your partner for putting up with your shit for so long!

BitOutOfPractice Wed 09-Jul-14 17:37:06

If I were your wife I would buy a cushion. And I know what I'd be tempted to do with it as well

Ooh, I could really go for a bit of soup.

I'm willing to risk dh leaving me over it. He's not a troll twunt you see.

kaykayblue Wed 09-Jul-14 17:40:08

The only good thing about this post are the subsequent replies about cushions and cushion arranging.

Oh how amusing. You can't berate the OP about not using paragraphing though - come on, show some respect.

It must have been really difficult posting this from the 1950's.

I made bouillabaisse the other day. Maybe that's why DH didn't come home from work yesterday.

Hmmmm . . . .

Oh shit. I've just noticed that one of my cushions has a coffee stain on it. And there are tissues jammed down the side of the seats!

He's never coming back, is he.

I should have heeded that bit in our wedding vows about loving, honouring and obeying the soft furnishings.

I am undone.

forumdonkey Wed 09-Jul-14 17:46:03

Adam have you even got a table runner and soup spoons when you serve your soup? I think thats where you may be going wrong because I note you have cushions, albeit coffee stained.

Simplesusan Wed 09-Jul-14 17:47:14

I had to throw one of my cushions away last week as it was covered in cat sick.

Hope this helps.

flappityfanjos Wed 09-Jul-14 17:47:35

I maxed out my Mastercard buying cushions for the house but DH wasn't impressed. I don't understand?? Should I leave this person and find a savvy man who appreciates a real woman??!?

ballsballsballs Wed 09-Jul-14 17:48:34

hmm

Natalie98 Wed 09-Jul-14 17:48:57

My opinion may differ from some here ;-)

When I was married I stayed at home with the kids but worked part time at a school, we agreed as a couple that as his job was long hours and physical work, I would do the housework chores etc, and yes that did involve going to a shop and buying nice soft cushions for our sofa. Nice bedding. Nice curtains. Orniments all the things that we could afford that would make our home look nice. For us ! Not just me or just him. Us both.

He would come home tired and see the kids before they went to bed, and 90% of the time there was a hot meal waiting for him, if not I would text/ring during the day and say " I can't be bothered today so it's takeaway or help yourself" and in no way EVER did I feel like I was being used. A mug. A helpless housewife, we we're a couple and we shared things, he earnt a good enough wage so I could be with the kids, which is what I wanted.

But......... It is hard work and time consuming all these things, therefore nice to go out for a coffee with friends, to relieve the sometime daily boredom of the same routine and keeps us mums sane !

I would either set aside an hour a day for any book keeping or bill paying then get on with normal stuff, I had 3 kids and managed to do this sometimes on my own as he worked away, yes it's hard but if you need to live earn work, then needs must, as a couple you need to talk about it, and if you both can't agree on what works, how things are managed then unfortunately people seperate.

Life doesn't run smoothly but to spend 60 years with the same partner, the basics have to gell. If not all the small things build to bigger things, then that's it !
Oh and I also used to have a single bed in the baby's room so if they woke during night then I could see to them in there ! So as not to disturb hubby.

Not that this gives you any advice I'm afraid, just my point of view on what worked for us at the time

Good luck

Lndnmummy Wed 09-Jul-14 17:49:12

Dude, think you need another forum

slithytove Wed 09-Jul-14 17:50:19

WHERE ARE THE PARAGRAPHS!!!

Must try harder, could do better.

Thanks, simplesusan!

I once had to throw away two rather nice silk cushions as one of DH's friends had vommed on them after a night out.

I didn't feel like a real woman until they were replaced.

forumdonkey: no! <hides head in sand like moron>

Oh hi, Natalie98!

I love your username. And your refreshingly different opinions. It's always to good to get a discussion started.

Can you point me in the direction of any of your other musings? It's just that when I look you up this seems to be your one and only post. I'm confused!

NunsArePeopleTooDougal Wed 09-Jul-14 17:59:45

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The fact that Natalie states, "when I was married" suggests it didn't turn out to be the perfect model, Adam grin

forumdonkey Wed 09-Jul-14 18:05:49

Adam it's about you pulled up your Tena pants and sort yourself out womanangry No wonder your poor, hard working DH hasn't come home yet. I bet you just sit behind a desk all day doing nothing too!! FFS Wtf are you doing on here shouldn't you be running his a bath for if he returns to you, but I wouldn't hold your breath.

greenhill Wed 09-Jul-14 18:06:09

natalie98 you are very kind to have given the OP the benefit of the doubt. The OP is looking for someone just like you maybe he will turn on the charm when he returns but I doubt it.

fancyacupoftea Wed 09-Jul-14 18:16:27

Mmmm soup

AllHailTheBigPurpleOne Wed 09-Jul-14 18:22:41

Oh shit.
i think this is my dh.
We had a big row this morning about similar stuff.

Dirtybadger Wed 09-Jul-14 18:25:04

Stop with the chit chat. Someone give it to me straight; is soup not a proper meal? Like...I eat soup for dinner. Is that not a thing? How long have I been massively underfeeding lunch/dinner guests (alright, I don't have them, I mean my family...)?

Shit!

Maybe I can get in a 'super kitchen clean' before he gets back.

Dirtybadger: Beware, lady!!!

Everyone knows that if you serve soup as an evening meal your DH will have to go out and buy junk food.

And then you will have a MASSIVE ROW.

I didn't realise this until it was too late. Save yourself while you can.

What a wankbadger!

FFSFFS Wed 09-Jul-14 18:34:51

I've found some soup for the OP

forumdonkey Wed 09-Jul-14 18:36:47

OP what flavour soup was it?

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Needasilverlining Wed 09-Jul-14 18:45:39

I feed my poor husband soup several nights a week. I have a job of my own. I don't own a SINGLE CUSHION. Not one.

I am Not A Real Woman.

<looks sideways at the two children am fairly sure I produced>

<sobs in hopeless confusion>

corlan Wed 09-Jul-14 18:46:30

The writing style reminds me somewhat of that chapter in 'Ulysses' by 'James Joyce' where he does away with paragraphs.

Deverethemuzzler Wed 09-Jul-14 18:56:14

I am waiting for the innermost thoughts of Tracy256, Alison95 and Sandie62.

I am sure they will be most enlightening.

Didactylos Wed 09-Jul-14 18:56:30

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LaFlambeau Wed 09-Jul-14 18:56:45
Didactylos Wed 09-Jul-14 18:58:03

btw - real ladies never comment on length....

Mostlyjustaluker Wed 09-Jul-14 18:58:53

My first ltb.

NewtRipley Wed 09-Jul-14 19:01:50

They always have numbers in their names, which is not to say that all posters with numbers in their names .... Etc etc

FFSFFS Wed 09-Jul-14 19:02:13

Mmm, interesting username, do you think the 38 might be a reference to his IQ

smile

NewtRipley Wed 09-Jul-14 19:04:53

They always refer to women as ladies as well....

Needasilverlining Wed 09-Jul-14 19:05:11

I think this may be the one and only time in the OP's life where he's compared to a giant of world literature.

<eyes slightly wonky curtains, makes mental note to apologise to DH when he comes home. If he ever does - who could expect him to? sobwailgnashteethetc>

boooring.

Whilewildeisonmine Wed 09-Jul-14 19:08:40

You sound awful.

Waltermittythesequel Wed 09-Jul-14 19:11:19

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Oh, join the club Didactylos. Been doing it for a while.

Excellent skit.

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun Wed 09-Jul-14 19:11:51

I dont think its a troll - just an arse.

I second Walter.

I would genuinely be interested to hear from the real OP.

gaggiagirl Wed 09-Jul-14 19:18:27

Shit I was going to serve bacon and lentil soup to my guests tomorrow. Should I not?
I also made vintage chocolate chip cookies from BBC food website.
Will that make up for the soup?

I need answers!

DearPrudence Wed 09-Jul-14 19:26:07

Vintage chocolate chip cookies?

<intrigued>

firesidechat Wed 09-Jul-14 19:26:18

The writing style reminds me somewhat of that chapter in 'Ulysses' by 'James Joyce' where he does away with paragraphs.

Absolutely. What is it with trolls today and their paragraph avoidance? It's bad enough that I have to read this stuff without having it made more difficult to decipher in the first place.

CitronVert Wed 09-Jul-14 19:27:35

I love soup and am indifferent to cushions at best.

Where does that leave me in the Woman League Table?

<worried>

firesidechat Wed 09-Jul-14 19:28:16

I am waiting for the innermost thoughts of Tracy256, Alison95 and Sandie62.

I am sure they will be most enlightening.

Oh, and this too.

Fluffycloudland77 Wed 09-Jul-14 19:33:29

You really ought to brush up on grammar & spelling.

I'm not being taken in by someone who can't spell.

NickiFury Wed 09-Jul-14 19:35:21

This is surely a troll.

But let me assure you MNetters there truly are "men" like this out there, my ex H was one of them. Amongst other things:-

He believed he should have his own special arm chair, that only Dad would sit in.

That there should be meat with every meal and it could not have been previously frozen, must be bought fresh that day.

That I should have a baking afternoon once a week (including fruit cake - this was non negotiable.

That a "working man" should no housework or child care whatsoever.

So sadly, the OP is certainly not as unbelievable as it sounds.

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun Wed 09-Jul-14 19:36:19

I dont believe its a troll.

Why do "They" think a convincing username is a female first name + number? They have clearly not been paying attention.

NickiFury - was he a member of minor royalty?
Did he expect his slippers warmed and a pint of Best on a Friday?

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Wed 09-Jul-14 19:43:16

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lurkingaround Wed 09-Jul-14 19:43:38

Who knew. Cushions are the key to 'keeping' a husband.

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FoolishFay Wed 09-Jul-14 19:52:10

I've got lovely cushions.

I've got lovely cushions made me grin

lurkingaround Wed 09-Jul-14 20:05:24

Actually I just had a thought while thinking and fussing about my soft furnishings! Natalie98 should link up with the OP. They are perfect for each other. Isn't that excellent??
So OP, cut your losses, free leave your wife and hook up with Natalie98.

I love it when a good plan comes together.

Singsongmama Wed 09-Jul-14 20:07:13

I have grammar rage today. I normally would never comment on it but seeing as the OP is such a camel's toe if you are going to write a clichéd pile of waffle, at least structure your chauvinistic thoughts into some kind of order. Surely someone as well successful as you needs to use language correctly....like...for your bizzzznizzzz.

I have no doubt that this is fake, the only thing missing was - she doesn't dress nicely, appreciate my manliness or kiss me goodbye at the door after handing me my briefcase and pack lunch.

My advice? Find a rock to crawl under and only come out when you are prepared to be a real man who doesn't abuse his partner.

Bifauxnen Wed 09-Jul-14 20:15:41

It's the lack of full stops that grates with me. It makes the op's sound like Vicky Pollard and I find myself taking big breaths to compensate.

Lweji Wed 09-Jul-14 20:18:52

Aren't men supposed to hate cushions? confused

kaykayblue Wed 09-Jul-14 20:23:03

I just asked my fiancé what he thought about our cushions and "soft furnishings".

He stared at me in a blind panic.

To the OP - I did outline your concerns to my partner, as to elicit a male opinion for you. His take on it was as follows:

1) Who the fuck doesn't like soup? Do we have any soup by the way?
2) So he is unhappy that she isn't spending lots of money on useless shit around the house? Is he Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen?
3) Maybe she doesn't wash his clothes because he refers to her as a moron.

There you go, sorted.

lurkingaround Wed 09-Jul-14 20:24:00

Lweji, I believe they do hate them. DH and I have regular ahem polite discussions about the necessity of cushions. However he is happy to give in indulge me in my wifely <shiver> need to prettify the home and indeed recognises this is what every good wife does.

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint Wed 09-Jul-14 20:25:09

Soup is a capital offence? Who knew?

Singsongmama Wed 09-Jul-14 20:38:09

I loathe posts without full stops. Full stop.

My husband hates cushions. I have at least two...in EVERY room (not the toilet, that'd be weird!)

Lweji Wed 09-Jul-14 20:48:32

My ex didn't like soup.
But then, he sat on his arse all day and didn't prepare fully cooked meals regularly. Except he didn't have a job.
And didn't even get out of the house to have coffee with his mates. He had none.

It's funny how it switches from "my company work" and "giving her money" to "our family business".

Also funny how the OP had failed to notice so far that the baby didn't have jars anymore. And how preparing fresh food for the baby equals her laziness - but presumably the OP was prepared to stuff the child with off the shelf jars.

I think this could easily be a reverse thread, btw.

TheGonnagle Wed 09-Jul-14 20:49:03

PARAGRAPHS. For the love of everything holy, won't you please use PARAGRAPHS.
Twat.

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TheGonnagle Wed 09-Jul-14 20:50:12

?
So blinded by all the drivel I forgot the ?

NickiFury Wed 09-Jul-14 20:52:45

Gilbert yes, some of you may know him as "King Joffrey Baratheon" wink

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 09-Jul-14 21:04:16

Evening all.
Rather remarkably, we can't really give you any guidance on whether this is a troll or not, except to say that he's not ringing any of our alarm bells. We are not sure which is the better result, tbh. smile

Scornedwoman67 Wed 09-Jul-14 21:08:38

I think the OP has disappeared. Perhaps she laced his soup with arsenic.
I find it rather amusing that these Neanderthal men (look it up OP..its a bit like a hairy cave-man) think we don't realise. The appalling grammar (your sentences don't make sense) and inability to use any form of punctuation ( the dots at the end of the lines )give it away. Now go back to your Sun crossword. There's a good boy. grin

Needasilverlining Wed 09-Jul-14 21:11:07

DH has mentioned a woman at work who has antimacassars on every chair. And doilies.

He's going to leave me, isn't he?

(Can anyone tell me what the fuck an antimacassar is, so any future relationship isn't ruined by insufficient upholstery?)

Bifauxnen Wed 09-Jul-14 21:11:45

<pokes alarm bells and peers suspiciously>
Have you changed the batteries?

FFSFFS Wed 09-Jul-14 21:15:57

.

Bifauxnen Wed 09-Jul-14 21:16:57

they're those things that are like collars and cuffs for chairs. I reckon you could easily wing it with some artfully draped bog roll. No need to thank me, your salvaged marriage is thanks enough. smile

Lweji Wed 09-Jul-14 21:17:09

Oi!
Don't insult Neanderthals. <shakes head>

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 09-Jul-14 21:20:50

Oh and ALSO could you please refrain from doin' that trollhuntin' thing? I'm going to have to get my red pen out here. <cracks knuckles>

redundantandbitter Wed 09-Jul-14 21:27:19

I got as far as the 'cushion' issue... And thought " oh fuck off".

And I never thought I'd see the mention of antimacassars. Beautiful .

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Wed 09-Jul-14 21:34:39

I lost it at the references to 'my son' - her son too, FFS.

Needasilverlining Wed 09-Jul-14 21:38:59

Bifauxnen, you are a total genius. I also pledge to comb the charity shops tomorrow and fill every shelf and surface with nasty china knickknacks. I might even buy extra so DH can be all manly and put up more shelves at the weekend.

And cook him meat and three veg (except for the veg) for every meal, including breakfast.

<channels Scarlett O'Hara> as God is my witness, I will never be career-focused or opinionated again.

You have Shown Me a Better Way, OP. Thank you, thank you.

Wickeddevil Wed 09-Jul-14 21:39:05

Aw come on. He said he was sorry it was long.

I'm sure I've read that elsewhere on here today.....

ScouseBird8364 Wed 09-Jul-14 21:42:24

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ScouseBird8364 Wed 09-Jul-14 21:51:09

What I don't get, and tbh it really pisses me off, when somebody starts a thread, yet doesn't return, as with this one? angry

Seriously, what's the point?! angry

Needasilverlining Wed 09-Jul-14 21:59:17

Maybe being seen through in the first three posts makes it less likely this type of OP will return?

Bifauxnen Wed 09-Jul-14 22:03:28

I've just realised I'm an idiot. This is one of the few dodgy OPs that did actually use full stops. blush sorry OP, I've unfairly maligned your manly masterfulness of basic punctuation. I shall be more mindful in future.

pilates Wed 09-Jul-14 22:06:58

Not sure why my post was deleted? confused

WellWhoKnew Wed 09-Jul-14 22:08:46

I know why mine was - I broke talk guidelines.

I was expecting this thread to have been deleted by now, just just half the replies.

MNHQ please can you test your alarm system - it's clearly faulty today.

Frogisatwat Wed 09-Jul-14 22:09:41

Just place marking to see if he comes back!

WellWhoKnew Wed 09-Jul-14 22:10:40

And, quite frankly, if so many of are taking offence to his woe is me [fairy] tale, he clearly needs a bit of home-truthing, I'd have thought...

Bifauxnen Wed 09-Jul-14 22:12:13

at least they kept the ducklings smile

Esmum07 Wed 09-Jul-14 22:14:26

I think he's right. She would rather lie in bed all day...dreaming of cushions and how many she could shove in a certain part of his anatomy...waste of a bloody good cushion if you ask me!

Shockers Wed 09-Jul-14 22:20:42

I was going to post something helpful by drawing on my extensive knowledge of being female.

However, thanks to your OP, I have discovered that I'm not qualified in the ways of ladies on account of the fact that I like to make soup and I couldn't give a rat's arse about cushions.

Didactylos Wed 09-Jul-14 22:30:32

antimacassers are rather interesting items
the name - Anti Macassar tells you what it was for
from the 1800s habit of using Macassar oil on the hair - usually coconut or palm oil mixed with heavy scent eg ylang ylang?
so they put these little doilys to protect your soft furnishings against greasy guests who might lean back and soil the upholstry

This info proves Im definately female, right!

Moanranger Wed 09-Jul-14 22:39:56

Oh, I was going to post the Macassar oil info, Didactylus but you beat me to it! Not sure if it proves your gender, but maybe a trivia addict?

Needasilverlining Wed 09-Jul-14 22:46:52

Didactylos, I have learned a thing. Thank you.

Would love to think OP has too, but hey you can't have everything.

Didactylos Wed 09-Jul-14 22:49:49

total trivia addict blush
but I took out the Byron quote to tone it down....

Idontseeanyicegiants Wed 09-Jul-14 22:53:07

I don't think I've ever seen so many deletions on one thread! grin
Well done OP, this must be some kind of MN record..
Oh, and just in case you're real, I hope she realises that she is being bullied by the 'man' she married and gets rid.

Lweji Wed 09-Jul-14 22:54:20
Didactylos Wed 09-Jul-14 23:03:28

yay lweji - I was trying to remember which film that was from!

Woop! That was my first ever [serial] deletion.

To be fair, I knew I was being cheeky.

I think it may have been worth it. It was fun while it lasted. And I still think I was right [ducks]

GenuinelyMaryMacguire Wed 09-Jul-14 23:16:45

OP, I'm working late on something mentally challenging so you must understand, this is light entertainment for me. Here is what you said.

Together 8 years; son.
I am successful/she never brought in much money
She works and does my company work – but not enough
She pays the utility bills, I pay the mortgage
She does childcare and chores
She doesn’t clean up properly – she makes excuses
She doesn’t provide me with clean workclothes
She expects me to eat soup.
She isn’t like a real woman [because] she isn’t bothered about nice soft furnishings for the house – other women make such an effort
She can’t afford those but she can buy coffee with her friends
She is like a moron
She is taking and not putting in
She feeds the baby fresh home-cooked food, not jars
She disturbs my sleep in the morning by dressing the baby – that’s disrespectful
She says I’m abusive
She comes from a different back ground than me - where having a nice house and nice things aren’t important
She is ruining our family.
Do i just cut my losses and find someone who can step up and be a women and appreciate the things she has?

Some parts of that made me laugh.

YouAreMyRain Wed 09-Jul-14 23:21:30

How did you manage to run your business without her but now you need her? Since you got together your workload has eased and hers has increased. Not fair.

Did you have any other girlfriends before her? You seem very confused about how relationships work.

TSSDNCOP Wed 09-Jul-14 23:29:16

Thank you MNHQ! I have no issue being deleted under these circumstances.

BathildaBagshot Thu 10-Jul-14 00:19:25

Well I've never been deleted before but am proud for this time only. Woman scorned comes to mind. I only hope your wife reads this.

BathildaBagshot Thu 10-Jul-14 00:21:17

Also kudos to MNHQ for not getting rid of the whole thread grin

justiceofthePeas Thu 10-Jul-14 00:42:19

Seriously OP what partner?

If you are going to give yourself an imaginary gf you could have got yourself a proper woman one that filled your imaginary house with cushions gafuckinglore. <technical term for so many cushions you have to literally wade through them>

<wonders if cushions feature heavily in OPs ^internet searches^>

Look up the following terms instead:
Bookkeeper
Cleaner
Cook
Personal assistant
White space

Layla001 Thu 10-Jul-14 00:51:47

I can't even speak.......

You suck. You really suck.

Staywithme Thu 10-Jul-14 01:00:46

Dammit! Is it wrong that I really, really want to know what the deleted threads said? confused

I can't help wondering if the OP broke his puter, iPad, etc by furiously typing out this rambling story. I can just picture him muttering darkly whilst thumping the keyboards. grin

WellWhoKnew Thu 10-Jul-14 01:24:54

Well I've never been deleted before but am proud for this time only.

My thoughts exactly, BathildaBagshot.

Some threads that remain are within lines because they haven't used the words: twat or troll, but it is clearly implied.

<awaits second deletion>

AveryJessup Thu 10-Jul-14 02:03:20

LTB, bigbear.

She is abusing your good nature and generosity. You offered her the chance to stay home full-time to take care of your child AND work running your business in a menial role (which would be on her level since she is a 'moron' as you say). She refused that and wanted to go out to work and now she is slacking off on housework, cooking your dinner, cleaning and even getting your clean clothes ready for work. She has no excuse - everyone knows that taking care of a baby is no big deal. You did it yourself for 2 hours the other day and I bet it was a piece of cake.

Seriously, there are women out there who would just be lining up to be servant partner to a generous, considerate and selfless alpha male like you. Why are you nice guys always taken advantage of, eh? Life's just not fair! Move on and find the servant woman of your dreams. You deserve so much better grin

My first deletion!
<struts>
As you were.....

LoisPuddingLane Thu 10-Jul-14 09:31:53

While this is clearly (although not that clear - paragraphs! My eyes!) a wind-up, it does reflect a rather worrying attitude. Even if written in fun, there is a real cuntish entitlement and dislike of women behind this post.

Wind-up merchant or not, I pity any woman you end up with, OP. Oh, and straighten the cushions on the way out, there's a good chap.

momb Thu 10-Jul-14 09:54:19

Natbear 48: I think you may have changed my life for the better and made me a better woman/partner/person. Thank you for your posts. Enjoy your study leave.

ScouseBird8364 Thu 10-Jul-14 10:49:00

Oh I really want bigbear to come back, ha ha!! Gotta be a wind up, no? shock

springydaffs Thu 10-Jul-14 10:50:53

You're not my ex-husband come back from the dead are you?

It was a shame when he died.

APlaceOnTheCouch Thu 10-Jul-14 10:52:32

Oh dear.

sassy34264 Thu 10-Jul-14 11:33:25

Totally wrong that I crackled at springydaffs grin

I'm with the op here.

I have no, non, nada interest in soft furnishings. I have no cushions (bar the ones that came with the couch) I have no ornaments. I have 2 pictures up, but only because the nails were in when I moved in and 2 people bought me the pictures.

I've often mused that as a woman there is something seriously wrong with me. hmmmmm <strokes chin>

grin

sassy34264 Thu 10-Jul-14 11:34:45

crackled ?!

Cackled

Well I both crackled and cackled at Springy
<hello darling, its been a while> x

differentnameforthis Thu 10-Jul-14 12:26:03

when i dont share my chores with the baby but at the end of the day i am working a manual job and running around all day (mostly after everyone else) she is just sat at a desk all day when shes at work.

My dh works a manual job, he comes home after a 12hr day (with travelling) and does some house work, looks after the girls etc. Today he did the bills, cooked dinner for the girls & kept them amused while I slept off a killer of a headache. I am a SAHM, dh & I share the workload, because we both created the dc & we both want to live in this home.

oldgrandmama Thu 10-Jul-14 12:27:25

I've just had a look at my cushions (17 in all). I gave one or two a bash with closed fist to 'plump them up'. Several moths flew up ... Ah. That explains while I am alone and manless. [Does a little arthritic dance of happiness and relief]. As for springydaffs, I had an ex like that - and he's dead too (bloody hell, that sticking pins in a little effigy things really works ...grin)

Mind how you go now, Lois, momb, scouse . . . there's been a whole lot of deletin' going on wink

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Thu 10-Jul-14 12:32:31

ODFOD.

And for the sake of your poor wife, please set her free. She must be miserable to live with such a massive wanker.

bitconfuzzled Thu 10-Jul-14 12:47:42

I think I've dated BigBear shock

The "festering in her pit" particularly reminds me of one amazing ex-boyfriend!

I'm more sad that he obviously thinks he's right and justified in his actions and opinions. Let's hope she gets a MN card slipped into her handbag on the tube...

Just so that I've said it - OP, you're wrong. Your partner is a person and deserves to be treated like a human being rather than your PA. Also, don't mix business and pleasure, if you need a secretary, hire one - let your partner get a real job and get out of the house.

LurcioAgain Thu 10-Jul-14 12:49:28

No where near as much fun as the massive member thread... But then that could be because (allegedly and giving OP benefit of doubt and leaving aside concerns over MNHQ's batteries) it's REAL!!!

Anyway, fwiw OP, LTB (her, not you).

LurcioAgain but he says "sorry its so long". Shurely the same poster?

differentnameforthis Thu 10-Jul-14 12:59:51

Some days i get up to go to work only to find there are no clean work clothes what does she do all day?

My dh also does his own washing, if I haven't got there first..

If she changed your baby on your bed, for nursery, it must have been what? 8am? Ish. Nursery starts at 9? So your work days aren't THAT long then, are they?

scarletoconnor Thu 10-Jul-14 13:36:21

Hahaha oh that cheered me up reading your post op well done...

As for your wife she sounds like a right bitch wanting to go back to work to earn her own cash..obviously one of those feminist types! Cooking baby food from scratch rather than using jars lazy fucker, everyone knows cooking from scratch is easier than opening a jar. Maybe if she opened more jars the regular working of her bicep muscles would make it easier for her to hoover up and load the dishwasher.

Fucking soup, for lunch well thats just a big bowl of wrong. Not doing your accounts I assume for free, any woman should be honoured to do that. As for the cushions she obviously has no self respect.

She obviously only moved in with you so quickly to leach off you, thats why she fought you to go back to work and earn her own money

I feel so sorry for you op biscuit

<hopes as op is so intelligent and savvy he knows this is what Sarcasm looks like>

NotSoFunny Thu 10-Jul-14 14:25:00

This OP made me really sad. Until the baby jars, it could have been my NSDH writing. It's exactly what he thinks about our life and he's not joking sad

Bifauxnen Thu 10-Jul-14 14:33:57

sad then your NSDP is a prick, notsofunny. (apt name) ltb

Staywithme Thu 10-Jul-14 17:03:04

What does nsdh mean? Bty he does sound like a prick if he thinks the same way. LTB and start to live.

Lweji Thu 10-Jul-14 17:18:29

NSDP, you mean?
I think not so dear partner.

Bifauxnen Thu 10-Jul-14 17:19:04

staywithme - Not So Dear Husband

Lweji Thu 10-Jul-14 17:19:18

ups, just checked better.
Replace Husband with Partner.

Staywithme Thu 10-Jul-14 18:24:50

Thank you for your responses. Still getting a hang of the acronyms.

Fmlgirl Thu 10-Jul-14 22:06:14

You sound like a horrible man. I'd rather be single than with someone like you.

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