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Bemused it is me

(49 Posts)
Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 12:20:11

I have name changed as am a little embarrassed. Basically met a man last night we had been exchanging messages for a while. So has a lovely evening he made me laugh, came out with the old classics like he feels a connection, finds me incredibly attractive, blah bah. Any how we ended up having sex, it was not that great but he seemed to have a good time and I did too was ok, he had to go home as early start with work. Anyway this morning expected to have text arranging to meet again but instead start getting some weird messages first one being "rubbish in bed arn't I," I reply nicely, then very terse text, know he is driving as I suggest he contact later, then I get "no point I don't do anything for you but never had complaints before" I ask if he is serious? deadly came the reply. Then got "not into one night stands think my ego dented" anyway last one was " I made him feel worthless in " For myself I feel cheap and very bemused. We are in out 40's, never experienced anything like this before. He seems totally happy when he left I think he is a bit mental, some MN thoughts please am feeling really upset now

Bin him off immediately, he sounds self absorbed and very hard work.

TheGirlFromIpanema Thu 27-Mar-14 12:24:37

Delete his number and don't look back confused

saying mental is not nice btw, but yes its strange behaviour and enough to make me run away very fast.

Chalk it up to experience and move on grin

It definitely isn't you!!

Logg1e Thu 27-Mar-14 12:26:33

I can't make sense of that first post.

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 12:44:43

Loggle I am not surprised it the most bizarre. He makes no sense.
Thegirl I am not trying to be disrespectful but am beginning to thin he is actually does have some disorder, my X had MH issues just can't cope with that again
I have missed out several as post would have gone on forever. Just had another from him saying he wants to "call me later as not his intention to be mean" really?? as have asked him to re read the whole message thread

croquet Thu 27-Mar-14 12:47:11

He sounds completely crazy. It sounds like he's got serious issues and also tbh he sounds a bit aggressive. I wouldn't see him again, and also stop texting him. Keep yourself safe. Learn from the experience and then try to forget it.

Poor you.

BillyBanter Thu 27-Mar-14 12:50:03

I'd say last night was great. I enjoyed myself. this morning, however, your texts have been beyond peculiar and for that reason, I'm out. Good luck in the future.

onetiredmummy Thu 27-Mar-14 12:53:04

Sounds to me as though you didn't compliment him enough on his in his opinion amazing woman pleasing techniques & massive massive todger. Plus you might even have had the audacity to try to communicate what you liked or wanted, causing in his eyes a complaint! Unless you did actually say he was in the wrong place, or left a bit etc etc --which is still reasonable imho

His pride is hurt, he sounds a bit high maintenance for me though

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 12:54:29

Billy that is pretty much what I have said and yes he does come across as quite aggressive, it's like he has had a personality change I am in shock This helping just wanted reassurance
Thanks croquet he actually reduced me to tears this morning with his nastyness. Now he is sending nice text, maybe he has a nasty twin lol. What a head fuck

onetiredmummy Thu 27-Mar-14 12:56:23

If he made you cry then fuck him.

Tell him you enjoyed last night but his texts this morning have been too odd & you don't want to see him again.

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 12:57:50

onetired he is small, I never said anything but I think in his mind this is a big big problem. I think he does really like me but knows he will not be able to perform as he likes so forcing me to finish it now. He said he is shocked that I did not come and took this as as sex failure, wtaf

croquet Thu 27-Mar-14 13:00:03

CERTAINLY stay away from him. Have you been dating long? Don't forget this is supposed to be about you meeting a really nice fella and sparks flying, you making each other feel happy and putting a skip in each other's step, having some nice evenings out and maybe something longer term if trust builds up.

Don't accept a psycho. He's probably been on hundreds of similar dates. He's like a Freud case study or something. Don't give him another moment's thought. I hope you were safe (sorry if tmi).

Abbykins1 Thu 27-Mar-14 13:03:04

Are you saying you don't fake orgasms on the first date?

If he hadn't been such a cunt,things might have developed nicely but he does sound like at twat and you are better off without.

TheGirlFromIpanema Thu 27-Mar-14 13:09:38

I wouldn't dream of telling him last night was nice! OP said it wasn't great so why should she placate the whinyarse now?

I know what you meant bemused and he clearly is batshit smile

Ignore & delete or you might get sucked in and no good will come of it unless you are prepared to stroke his ego/knob forevermore!

HelpfulChap Thu 27-Mar-14 13:12:32

This is to do with his own issues & nothing to do with you. He is taking his own lack of self-confidence & low self-esteem regarding sex out on you. He has obviously had bad experiences in the past but that is not your concern.

You are better off out of it.

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 13:14:12

Thank you all so kind. No not dating long but I am not a young girl, I am not sure why I am even upset, as after the his performance I did think it could become an issue in the future and almost glad I have found out so soon. abby grin
I have date for tomorrow night seems like a nice person but then thought last nights one was good. How wrong could I be, did not see that coming, I thought he was actually joking @ first it was so off the wall

gamerchick Thu 27-Mar-14 13:17:19

Any man who whinges I didn't come would be binned off for that alone.

What you've described sounds like serious hard work.. life's too short.

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 13:36:29

helpful I think you have it whole in one. He was joking before we met that he could go all night. did admit on one of his more reasonable text that he now felt foolish. I do understand but he has clearly got a nasty streak.

RedRoom Thu 27-Mar-14 13:37:49

If he expects you to come every time and has a sulk when you don't, he sounds very immature and inexperienced (or, of course, experienced with lots of women who have faked it!).

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 13:40:49

red he was adamant he made everyone he slept with come and there was something wrong with me. Also was intimidated because I work out and keep myself in good shape, him not, Again I did not mention. This man is a complete dick, can't ever remember misjudging someone so badly

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 13:42:15

sorry I meant woman not everyone lol

Ugh what a knob. Lucky escape for you!

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 13:53:46

Ugh indeed. Have gone from upset this morning to now being really annoyed with myself for not spotting what ass he was. He thinks he is calling me later, either he is a mentally deranged or thinks he is playing some weird game that only he understands. Now saying he is absolutely gutted that I am not into him. wtaf ( this I actually never said so yet)

BillyBanter Thu 27-Mar-14 13:53:50

Bye, bye! Next!

croquet Thu 27-Mar-14 13:54:23

Mumsnet has done its job!!

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 14:16:26

Yes MN rocks. always makes you see the light. Did not dare someone in RL I would have felt ashamed, had to wash all my sheets and duvet to wash away his memory. Close call. Bet I get will further texts but view them as comedy value ha ha. Hope tomorrow nights date is better, he is a respectable business man ( I know for an absolute fact) Maybe be a bit sensible but lets see. My Twat radar is twitching

cafecito Thu 27-Mar-14 14:16:42

I'd say exactly what Billy said, and leave it there. NO more texting, no replies, no calls, no seeing him.

RedRoom Thu 27-Mar-14 14:25:10

Adamant he made them all come, eh? That claim alone is highly dubious. I find it hard to believe that with him, all women come pretty much every time, even the first time with him. Does he really think it's that guaranteed? You can see now why they probably faked it: him constantly badgering, asking 'have you come? Are you going to?' Given that it's normal for women not to come every time , probably more so with new partners because we women can be quite psychological with these things, I'd say that he is 1) insecure 2) deluded and 3) not quite the studly love God that he thinks he is.

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 14:31:29

cate absolutely not intention of engaging.
red the man is clearly deluded, he contradicts himself. May explain why he has been single for so long.

FabBakerGirl Thu 27-Mar-14 14:39:04

He is a prick. First shag and already trying to control you, intimidate and make you feel grateful to have him.


Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 14:41:32

fab grin oh he is well and truly binned. He has been my first horrible experience since dating but I have learnt a lesson

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Thu 27-Mar-14 14:44:25

Take out the relationship bit even. Imagine you met a new friend for coffee, the next day they started sending you abusive texts?!

Block him, delete his number and do not contact him again. He is utterly out of order and is acting quite scarily. A person to AVOID.

Bemusednow Thu 27-Mar-14 14:59:51

Bruno I agree, have just taken a call from him, said he wanted to explain. Nothing he said would change my mind about him now but was a bit curious. Basically he said he feels a failure as did not satisfy me ( his words) he believed he has failed. I said it was a weird idea, he then became aggresive saying I was calling him weird. Oh my what a nut job. Thank goodness he lives a long way from me

Nomama Thu 27-Mar-14 17:10:19

Chalk him up (invisible chalk) and remember that you are entitled to have loads of sex with as many men as you want.

You just don't get to keep them all - especially not the ones with little dicks and big egos. You always throw the tiddlers back smile

More seriously: Oops! Never mind. Delete and ignore!

Grade yourself like this: 'Could do better'.

colincaterpillar Thu 27-Mar-14 17:21:43

He sounds like my ex. Awful! Glad you're not embroiled in that one. Chalk it it down to experience and be glad you're out.

TheVictorian Thu 27-Mar-14 17:29:05

Op Did you give him any suggestions/signs that he was not that good in bed ? as his texts seem rather odd.

Hedgehead Thu 27-Mar-14 17:55:08

He sounds really insecure...

FabBakerGirl Fri 28-Mar-14 11:34:24

No, he isn't insecure hmm. He is a controlling twat who is trying to see how far he can push and control the OP.

Nomama Fri 28-Mar-14 11:37:25

Makes you wonder how he expects it work, though.

I shagged you once, badly. Now I want to make you feel guilty enough to do it again for the rest of your life!

Doesn't really stand much chance, does he? grin

Meerka Fri 28-Mar-14 11:53:02

wow, thank heavens he lives far away.

He just blew his own foot off didnt he? and bullshit he made every woman come. I shoudl think they faked it to just get it over with. If he isnt just lying in the first place.

nothingtosee Fri 28-Mar-14 12:36:40

You said yourself that sex wasn't great. Maybe you gave, subconciously, that impression and he was being polite in your presence.

Then I read that you hadn't had an orgasm. There is a simple rule here;
'Women Always Cum First'

So, he didn't do it for you, even though you said "I did too, it was ok"

There is no need for him to be nasty, if you like him then I'm sure this is something you can both work on. You are new lovers and it can take some time to tune into eachother bodies.

TalisaMaegyr Fri 28-Mar-14 14:08:56

Why would she want to work on it nothing? The bloke is clearly a knob confused

BuzzardBird Fri 28-Mar-14 14:18:10

Dating should be fun.

JohnFarleysRuskin Fri 28-Mar-14 14:45:05

He is a twat. I would like to see the evidence that he made every woman come every time.

newbieman1978 Fri 28-Mar-14 15:03:21

What a dick....and yes he was a sex failure! If he didn't try hard enough to give you enjoyment that's a failure as far as I'm concerned. Does not coming equal faliure per se ?, you ladies will have to answer that

Trying to say it's your fault, WTF. He's either had his ego dented because all the other women he's been with have faked it or he's feeling guilty because he didn't try hard enough to satisfy you.

Either way fuck him off.

Any bloke that says they have made every woman they have ever had sex with orgasm on ever occasion is either a liar or deluded. Saying that I don't think even a women could make that claim!

JohnFarleysRuskin Fri 28-Mar-14 15:57:44

It's not a sex failure to not 'make a woman come' on a first date.

It is a human failure to go all pathetic and defensive and aggressive about it.

Hope you are ok op.

JohnFarleysRuskin Fri 28-Mar-14 15:57:59

It's not a sex failure to not 'make a woman come' on a first date.

It is a human failure to go all pathetic and defensive and aggressive about it.

Hope you are ok op.

JohnFarleysRuskin Fri 28-Mar-14 15:58:20


CharlieSierra Fri 28-Mar-14 16:06:58

If he made you cry then fuck him

She did - but not again! grin

Seriously OP, he is a twat, move on and don't give him another thought.

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