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Il a une liaison avec un actrice.

(239 Posts)
LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 12:16:34

We are in France.

This is such a deplorable mess. We are not married but live together in an apartment that comes as a perk of his job. He has four children from a previous marriage. I have three children from a previous relationship. The actrice has two children from a previous relationship.

Does anyone have any advice?

PetiteRaleuse Mon 13-Jan-14 12:17:47

Are you not in hospital?

Book into a hospital?

x post

DreamingofSummer Mon 13-Jan-14 12:18:15

Sue the papers for daring to spill the beans

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 13-Jan-14 12:19:12

Une actrice, surely?

AnyFucker Mon 13-Jan-14 12:19:50

confused

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 13-Jan-14 12:22:48

'QLB' Quittez le batard...

Allalonenow Mon 13-Jan-14 12:23:28

Don't you know the old saying about creating a vacancy?

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Mon 13-Jan-14 12:25:31

I posted about this on Friday and no one picked up on it. Pah!!

Your DH is a twat and I hope your countrymen revolt!

Clouddancer Mon 13-Jan-14 12:25:41

all, have to say that is what I thought when I read this yesterday. Agree QLB.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Mon 13-Jan-14 12:27:03

And er countrywomen.

What's the word?

I hope everyone revolts.

AnyFucker Mon 13-Jan-14 12:27:11

The French PM is shagging around ? I get it now.

quelle surprise

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 13-Jan-14 12:28:22

Which French president was it that had a whole other family on the side? Didn't earn him so much as a raised eyebrow so I think a revolt over an actress is deeply unlikely.

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 12:29:37

Aux armes, citoyens!

Allalonenow Mon 13-Jan-14 12:30:27

Jacques Chirac

LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 12:30:46

Someone told me there are all sorts of experts on Mumsnet. I need a French constitutional expert to tell me if I can throw him out onto ze street. Along with 'is croissants.

pepperrabbit Mon 13-Jan-14 12:31:01

QLB for sure. Tell him he is not welcome and you have changed all the locks on the palace.

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 12:32:09

Miterrand. Wasn't that after he was president?

I don't think this will affect Hollande's job. France is not the US. And even then, he'd have to lie to get sacked. Or would he...?

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 13-Jan-14 12:32:53

Dans les newspapers d'aujourd'hui, vous avez lui forgiven, apparently. Bonne chance with that.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Mon 13-Jan-14 12:34:18

It won't likely affect his position. However, before this came out he had the support of only 25% of the population. It'll be interesting to see what happens next.

Zut Alors.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Mon 13-Jan-14 12:36:36

He really pulls great beauties, doesn't he? (No offence, Library book)

How does he do it?

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 12:37:43

Do you think you'll be replaced at L'Elysée by L'AF? (L'autre femme)

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 13-Jan-14 12:38:05

Ask Segolene for advice, ma chère.

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 12:38:13

Oh, this is generating a whole new list of acronyms.

wakemeupnow Mon 13-Jan-14 12:38:58

Don't worry. He is so unpopular he's trying to show what a stud he is in order to get some free publicity ( he's probably paying her on the side)

maparole Mon 13-Jan-14 12:39:58

Among the bourgeois voters of France, this may actually help to boost his abysmal poplularity ... all men (and women) of a certain age are supposed to have lovers on the side.

pepperrabbit Mon 13-Jan-14 12:41:25

I think you need to go shopping, a few fabulous new outfits, carefully chosen to make you look brave and chic.
Some perilously high heels to stab him through the foot when no one is looking.
I thought it was Mitterand too?

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 13-Jan-14 12:42:07

Loving L'AF... very different to 'AF' of course smile We'd have to have

CF... chere femme
CE... cher enfant
CM... cher mari
etc
PDPN... precieux de premier ne (PFB)
BM... belle-mere (so much nicer than MIL)

Allalonenow Mon 13-Jan-14 12:43:27

Ah yes, Chirac was only tried for embezzlement of public funds!

EmilyAlice Mon 13-Jan-14 12:44:51

Put some clous in the pneus (love that word) of 'is scootair ma chère.
Do not worry - if she eats croissants for breakfast she will soon be too fat to be a real Frenchwoman.

LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 12:45:01

I ate to sound bitter and ow you say tweested but I don't know what the actrice sees in 'im. Eee has très petits pieds. And garlic breath, naturellement.

And he thinks soixante-neuf is something to do with France's perilous economic situation, so he glazes over when I mention it.

EverybodysStressyEyed Mon 13-Jan-14 12:47:48

This kind of thing is accepted when you are popular

Apparently he is the 4th most hated person in France, swiftly followed by Valerie

I think they sniff a reason to get her out - after all first lady is not a job vacancy that needs filling by anyone. It kind of needs to be the presidents partner, which she arguably isn't now given they are not married and he has moved on....

Part of the reason she is so unpopular is because of the way segolene was treated. I don't think she will get the same sympathy.

Viviennemary Mon 13-Jan-14 12:49:06

I read a novel which said that was a fairly average set up en France. Not sure if that is strictly true though.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Mon 13-Jan-14 12:50:03

Tout a'lheure(?) Jeremy Vine va discutte this.

Ecoutez et Repetez!!

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 12:50:25

Loving L'AF... very different to 'AF' of course smile
Je ne sais pas.
S'elle est shagging Hollande, peut étre elle does shag AF. (not the MN pp, off corse

LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 12:50:41

Who are the first, second and third most hated people in France?

DrankSangriaInThePark Mon 13-Jan-14 12:55:35

Nicolas, Carla and erm......Carla's publicist, probably.

DrankSangriaInThePark Mon 13-Jan-14 12:57:15

No, it'll be Le Pen's fille I expect.

LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 13:02:55

Marine LePen said his liaison was fine so long as he wasn't using his security staff to deliver the croissant. Or words to that effect.

EverybodysStressyEyed Mon 13-Jan-14 13:11:54

I believe it was the racist comedian, Franck Robert and the underage prostitute Franck Robert allegedly slept with who has become a bit ubiquitous in celeb land. Heard it on the radio though so can't quite remember

EverybodysStressyEyed Mon 13-Jan-14 13:14:54

Found it! With names spelt correctly!

1. Nabilla (62%)
2. Zahia (61%)
3. Franck Ribéry (53%)
4. François Hollande (47%)
5. Valérie Trierweiler (42%)
6. Nicolas Sarkozy (37%)
7. Alain Delon (32%)
8. Benjamin Castaldi (31%)
9. Arthur (29%)
9. Gérard Depardieu (29%)

PerpendicularVince Mon 13-Jan-14 13:32:15

Maybe you can sell your story and get lots of Euros to buy more skirts with splits up the side <helpful>.

Vincent

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 13-Jan-14 13:41:17

Gosh! I should spend more time in France I have no idea who 1. 2. 3. and 8. are. All the other are relics!

OP you should take a lover of your own! how about the lovely DSK if you like power? hmm Or switch side to get in before the next elections?

Lemonylemon Mon 13-Jan-14 13:44:27

OP: Zut alors: As ze Eenglish say:

ce qui se passe autour de revient

espérons que cette aide (HTH) wink

SoYouSay Mon 13-Jan-14 13:45:36

Lorsqu'un homme épouse sa maîtresse, il crée un poste vacant. Vous avez été là, que proposez-vous?

EverybodysStressyEyed Mon 13-Jan-14 13:46:20

How about Franck ribery?

SignoraStronza Mon 13-Jan-14 13:48:20

I really think you need to look at your weight and beauty regime. After all, you know full well that it is entirely your fault that your partner has been shagging around, non?

I suggest ditching the croissants and upping the gauloises to maintain that healthy slim emaciatedfigure that all good Frenchmen prefer. Oh, better invest in some seriously expensive face cream to counteract the aging effects of this regime too. After that, invest in some tiny lingerie, paste on a smile and utter not one word of complaint if you wish to keep your man. While your at it, cherche yourself a young, good looking lover to give yourself a spring in your step.

coffeeinbed Mon 13-Jan-14 13:49:40

Oh des petits pieds.
Une sin cardinale..

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 13:53:17

Lui donnés plus de blowjobs.

LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 14:01:36

I've been trying to call him but I just get his voicemail which says:

"Valerie, vous êtes mort pour moi."

He hasn't visited me in l'hôpital. I think he's too late to QTB. sad

I am ready to forgive him.

PetiteRaleuse Mon 13-Jan-14 14:03:31

Don't worry Val OP, he'll be out on his arse at the next election in a few years and everyone will forget about all three of you. You knew he was a twat when you got together. People might not give a damn about you, or him, and they certainly don't think he is a better or worse president for his affairs. He's already loathed by most people.

And that list is a sad reflection on France.

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 14:06:25

Peut être plus tôt que ça.

Il y a des claims que l'appartement des rendez-vous est de la Corsican mafia. shock

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 14:07:57

Vous pouvez imaginer les jokes par les autres présidents au prochain G8 summit.

livingzuid Mon 13-Jan-14 14:13:00

Depardiu is on the hated list shock tres harsh. Him and Val could get together and move to Belgique in wedded bliss.....

LineRunner Mon 13-Jan-14 14:19:49

Les acronyms franglais sont tres bonnes.

MorrisZapp Mon 13-Jan-14 14:28:01

People hate a guy called Arthur? That was my grandads name. He wasn't overly keen on the French to be fair.

Oh, its all too glamorous. Imagine if they were German.

ICH LIEBE DICH!

EverybodysStressyEyed Mon 13-Jan-14 14:31:32

Arthur's real name is jacques....

Not surprised about depardieu after his latest antics!!

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 14:34:06

Arthur

"animateur-producteur de télévision, comédien, préside la société AWPG. Après Les Enfants de la télé et Vendredi, tout est permis avec Arthur, TF1 lui confie une nouvelle émission, Ce soir avec Arthur, un divertissement diffusé en deuxième partie de soirée, probablement le vendredi."

Something like Jeremy Clarkson?

Gigondas Mon 13-Jan-14 14:36:00

Thought depardieu buggered off to Russia in the end? there is a press conference tomorrow where Hollande is speaking. Will it be she has qlb or more about his private life?

Must say the buying croissants made megrin and hmm, could he not have used the cycle helmet as am sure no one at boulangerie would have turned a hair? gringrin

coffeeinbed Mon 13-Jan-14 14:51:27

I feel sorry for the pauvre vache.
Bad enough having your partner cheat, but so publicly. Must be mortifying.

Bonsoir Mon 13-Jan-14 14:55:19

QLS (quitte le salaud)

Honestly, you'd save yourself so much humiliation by just walking away now. His career isn't going anywhere, you know.

MorrisZapp Mon 13-Jan-14 14:56:58

I love France and most things French, but their culture feels so exclusive to me.

It's like being at an aquarium, looking in. Even if I could speak the language, I'd be clueless. Went to Paris once and felt like Crocodile Dundee (even though I'm from Edinburgh). I know, Paris isn't France etc. But still. I don't think I'd go back.

(cue mass French sobbing)

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 13-Jan-14 15:05:45

Madame Premiere Dame... avez vous pas noticed qu'il est fucking ugly? Qu'est ce que vous see in him anyway? Il resemble le love-child de Silvio Berlusconi et une pomme de terre.

EverybodysStressyEyed Mon 13-Jan-14 15:10:56

His press conference was pre planned and supposed to be about how he's going to save the economy I thought

Maybe he's just trying to distract from the fact he actually has nothing to say

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 16:11:21

I'm surprised he just didn't wait for it to come out and then when she confronted him, he didn't simply say "You stupid woman!. Can you not see I was just helping this poor girl practice for a film role".

Lemonylemon Mon 13-Jan-14 16:12:45

<channels Del-boy> Indeed. Mange tout, mange tout.

Xmusician Mon 13-Jan-14 16:19:38

Toot alores mon petit chat! Le President des Kermit avez un shag tres grand avec la actrice des porn tv. Quellle horror! Avez vous un bolthole des votres pour les wind to morte down?? Je suis hate les Kermits in helmets des motoeurbycylettes pour les shag nonprivet! Avez vous une bouteille des vin rouge from Tescos avec les steak and pomme frites ce jour and forget les sneaky President.....

Beastofburden Mon 13-Jan-14 16:21:06

Wow did not know it was un actrice, I thought he was having the affair with a female!

You read it here first, guys....

Impomea Mon 13-Jan-14 16:31:55

QLB grin

quittez le bastard

drudgewithagrudge Mon 13-Jan-14 16:52:52

It could be worse. He could be Silvio Belarsconi.

FairPhyllis Mon 13-Jan-14 17:02:55

Ah, but OP, you are drip-feeding here. You yourself were L'autre Femme, and ditched your mari for him, n'est-ce pas?

LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 17:37:36

Yes, it's true I was L'AF but she didn't understand him.

PerpendicularVince Mon 13-Jan-14 17:41:39

I think he's treated you like merde, Val OP.

LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 17:53:28

I know. I know. I'm still in the hospital. I'm going through the Kubler Ross 5 stages of grief, but I'm at the bargaining stage.

I've offered forgiveness plus I'm going to have a CACI non surgical arse lift every Wednesday and my face slapped repeatedly to produce optimum cheek glow.

PerpendicularVince Mon 13-Jan-14 18:05:06

If that doesn't work, Val, nowt will, and you'll have to let him go and be with the autre femme.

coffeeinbed Mon 13-Jan-14 19:23:42

Hold on Vince, I'm getting confused here.
Trop de L'AFs.

PerpendicularVince Mon 13-Jan-14 19:43:44

Coffee grin

Val, vous should definitely LTB.

Jaffacakesallround Mon 13-Jan-14 19:44:06

This is all highly amusing but...being a tiny bit serious, is there more to the hospital stay than we are being told?
Is it an overdose situation or similar? why would anyone be admitted for 'rest' unless there was more to it?

coffeeinbed Mon 13-Jan-14 20:21:19

There's not much in the French papers either, JaffaCakes.

coffeeinbed Mon 13-Jan-14 20:34:22

According to Le Figaro she's been prescribed some sleep therapy for the next 12 days or so.
I do feel sorry for her.

EverybodysStressyEyed Mon 13-Jan-14 20:38:00

i wonder too

she has such a reputation for being a manipulator that I think a lot of people think this is all a ploy to win sympanthy

however, her treatment of segolene suggests she is an incredibly jealous and insecure person wrt her relationship (not unfounded as it would seem) and perhaps she isn't mentally in the right place at the moment

regardless, i hope the press leave her alone for now and just focus on the twerp!

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Mon 13-Jan-14 21:27:06

Sleep therapy? Cest un peu bizarre, non.

I wouldn't like her as my enemy- I hope she has loads of stuff on him.

(thats not v nice, is it. Desolee)

PerpendicularVince Mon 13-Jan-14 21:28:30

DH said the same thing, Jaffa, I think you're right. She doesn't sound a particularly likeable person and by all accounts has treated Segolene and her step children very badly, but I imagine she's feeling pretty terrible herself right now.

LibraryBook Mon 13-Jan-14 21:42:14

Hmmm. I hope she's OK.

He is a scoundrel. I suspect he's told her it's over. And her public declaration of being willing to forgive him and asking him to clarify her position via the media is a means of manipulation. Perhaps she can't go home from l'hopital because she doesn't have a home?

manaboutthemaison Mon 13-Jan-14 21:47:57

quelle bordelle, actuellement je m'en fou !

Loopytiles Mon 13-Jan-14 22:57:16

Do nous pensons qu'il as un grand grande sense d'entitlement?

As 'as been dit upthread, il resemble un pomme de terre.

<GCSE franglais is returning>

Loopytiles Mon 13-Jan-14 22:58:05

le mot en francais pour "scoundrel"?

Lweji Mon 13-Jan-14 23:43:36

scélérat
crapule
coquin

Coquin sounds quite right ;)

PerpendicularVince Mon 13-Jan-14 23:45:25

I wonder if Val said 'zut alors' when she found out?

Laissez le pomme de terre and find a tres handsome man.

Motherinlawsdung Tue 14-Jan-14 01:10:56

Sleep therapy?
The French have cures and illnesses that don't exist elsewhere:
Suppositories
Something called "heavy legs"
La grippe
Mental illness caused by Le Mistral
Etc etc

Jaffacakesallround Tue 14-Jan-14 08:10:18

Interesting how French women react to these things, compared with the English- we just cut the arms off their suits or empty their wine cellars. None of this sloping off to hospital for a 'rest'.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 08:18:38

Suppositories exist elsewhere. And la grippe is the flu.

Never got my head round heavy leg syndrome though grin

I only ever experienced the Mistral once but I understand that it could play on your nerves. It's strange.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 08:21:31

I'm assuming she's had a breakdown. This must be massively humiliating for her and there is very little sympathy for her. I feel sorry for her - she might not be a nice person but he shouldn't treat her like that. What a cunt.

I assume Segolene is having a well deserved chuckle at the whole sorry saga though.

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 08:30:40

It will be interesting to see how the press conference goes today.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 08:38:10

Yes. On French TV yesterday there was a report interviewing some of the top French political journalists, none of whom would admit that they were planning on asking about it of course, but unanimously said that the question to be asked is: Is Val still first lady?

It's important because she has an office, staff, an official role (as she would if they were married too) on the public payroll. If they were married though no-one would be asking the question.

My favourite bit in all this so far is the rumour that they shacked up in a flat belonging to the Corsican mafia. He's so just trying to be interesting.

Morris the solution to your problem is Brittany smile

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 08:58:39

I suppose because a marriage ends via the issue of public document (the decree nisi thn the decree absolute in England & Wales, the French will have a similar equivalent) whereas a live-in relationship has no formal basis, or end. I suppose the French have a right to seek clarification.

coffeeinbed Tue 14-Jan-14 09:01:36

I do love the bit where she's ready to forgive and forget.
Whether he wants it or not...

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 14-Jan-14 09:02:12

You are right petiteraleuse.
"heavy legs" is just varicose veins when the blood pool in your ankles/calves.
"Sleep therapy" is used for mental illnesses (I am sure in the UK too just under a different name). She probably had a massive breakdown to be on it.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 09:06:22

Am assuming sleep therapy is sophrologie which is basically meditation and mindfulness exercises.

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 09:07:04

Coffeeinbed yes. Extraordinary. I dislike her for having no self respect. It would have been so much better for her to maintain a dignified silence.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Tue 14-Jan-14 09:08:32

It is humiliating for her. sad

I know the French tend to separate how a man behaves in public and how he behaves in private very much more than we do, but really, surely, this demonstrates that for all his 'fairer' society talk, this man is just a twat.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 09:09:32

I'm saving all my dislike for Hollande actually. She's getting over a shock. Like many women in this situation she will be going through all kinds of emotional swings. And she is very possibly being misquoted.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 09:10:59

I think it just confirms he is a twat to most people. I haven't anyone outside the political/ press world say anything positive about him.

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 09:23:13

I think the story is so gripping precisely because he's so dreadful. And because it's all so very French. Especially the sending out for fresh croissants.

livingzuid Tue 14-Jan-14 09:30:29

Did he cheat on segolene for val? I thought he did which just means the old adage of 'if he can do it to her he can do it to you' is very apt here. What made her so special that he wouldn't want to stray? He's never going to change.

Don't like her much but he's a real idiot.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 14-Jan-14 09:36:56

petiteraleuse I always assumed "Cure de sommeil" was being drugged up to induce a normal sleeping pattern, used on more severe cases than sophrologie (i.e. suicide attempt, extreme insomnia, grave depression...)

She might not be very nice but nobody deserves this. I don't know what they see in him or nicolas or mitterand , is it a power think?

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 09:37:49

Yes he left Ségo for Val. Yes that means there is a lot of schadenfreude going round about marry a mistress, create a vacancy, but he is the twat here. Val may, for some weird reason, be in love with him. She doesn't deserve all the vitriol.

Yes the picking up of croissants is v twee isn't it. Couldn't play up to the stereotype more if he had tried.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 09:39:25

mousquetaire that would make sense. You may be right. And if you are right we can assume we are right about the breakdown.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 09:42:14
nauticant Tue 14-Jan-14 09:42:15

The best bit is the president of France being delivered like a pizza.

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 09:49:58

Nauticant - Ha! Yes, hilarious.

It would make a brilliant Renault advert.

FairPhyllis Tue 14-Jan-14 10:02:23

I do have some sympathy for VT in that this is all being played out so publicly.

She must have thought she was really special that he would leave his wife for her. Now she has learned she is not.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 10:07:37

Maybe he made her feel really special.

He wasn't married to Sego btw, not that it makes mych difference but just being a pedant.

Lazyjaney Tue 14-Jan-14 10:08:52

I'm surprised she's surprised TBH. The man has form....

coffeeinbed Tue 14-Jan-14 10:14:59

Le Figaro says "une cure de sommeil pour une dizaine des jours"
whatever that means.
It's a long time though...

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 10:26:30

Apparently it's been known for months. So I'd be very surprised if this was the first VT knew of the affair (what with her being a journalist etc). Apparently VT was cross that the bodyguards didn't prevent the journalists getting pictures. Which doesn't sound the reaction of someone who is heartbroken.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 10:28:28

I heard she'd heard the rumours and he had denied.

coffee my link above explains sleep therapy. It is as mousquetaire said.

coffeeinbed Tue 14-Jan-14 10:31:21

I xposted.
RL sort of interfered.
La vache!
( as Val might be tempted to observe upon waking up)

I've been looking at photos and the three women look so similar.
He does have form, and a type.

LeBFG Tue 14-Jan-14 10:34:30

Puzzling that someone that looks this good could contemplate an affair with someone AKA Flanby (yucky pale wibbly dessert). Quelle horreur! I guess the power aphrodisiac was just too much...

AngelaDaviesHair Tue 14-Jan-14 10:42:23

Oui, c'est une bordelle. Et c'est dague, aussi.

Comments have focused on Sego and Val (as usual, the two women being set up as rivals duking it out). But just look at the true moral vacuum in this love triangle: Flanby a laisse Val traiter sa presque-femme Sego ^et ses enfants^comme merde. Ok, she did it. But he stood by and let her do it.

Il a fallait souvenir ca, Val. C'etait la preuve qu'il est un vrai atrocious cunt.

And a coward. Who leaves relationships by letting the new one go public. And if the new maitresse helps to get rid of the old one by slagging her off in public, so much the better for him. All that and des petis pieds en plus. He must have hidden talents, is all I can say. What's the French for bleeurgh?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 14-Jan-14 10:47:38

Berk!
Yes "pizza president" is quite funny, as is the flat belonging to the mafia hmm

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 10:55:09

Julie Gayet has maintained a dignified silence.

LineRunner Tue 14-Jan-14 10:56:19

According to Hollande's wiki entry [too much time on hands emoticon], rumours of his liaison with l'actrice surfaced in early 2013.

Pan Tue 14-Jan-14 11:04:22

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. As the French never say.

Rooners Tue 14-Jan-14 11:05:16

Francois Mitterand

do you have the heater on

la la la la la la la la la la la la

Rooners Tue 14-Jan-14 11:06:58
BuzzardBird Tue 14-Jan-14 11:07:01

QLF? (Quelle le fuck) grin

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 11:12:32

Press conference at 4.30pm French time. Can't wait.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Tue 14-Jan-14 11:14:09

I don't think Julie Gayet's silence has been dignified.

What could she possibly say? "I can't understand why I shagged him? It was for the croissants?"

Lweji Tue 14-Jan-14 11:15:16

Is she packing her bags for L'Élyseé?

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Tue 14-Jan-14 11:18:12

That really would be something, wouldn't it!

Jaffacakesallround Tue 14-Jan-14 11:23:18

The conference is NOT about his personal life- it's about the French economy.

Evidently the french are seriously upset at how he is handling the economy and couldn't give a toss about his sex life if he only got on with the job of sorting out the economy ( colleagues in France say this.)

Lweji Tue 14-Jan-14 11:23:20

My advice to him at this stage, though, would be to not be in a relationship for a couple of years until he sorts himself out.
grin

AngelaDaviesHair Tue 14-Jan-14 11:24:14

Ooh Rooners, just watched that. I'd forgotten what a ruthless bastard Mitterand was.

The Big Question: which sad deluded femme gets to accompany Petits Pieds on the state visit to Washington, or will he go seul?

coffeeinbed Tue 14-Jan-14 11:27:49

I'd love to see Michele's unofficial face when she has to entertain said femme.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 11:38:51

Jaffa yes it is about the economy, has been planned for ages. Someone will ask about the other stuff though. If he had any sense he'd have already made a statement so that the focus remains on the economy.

Or maybe he doesn't think a change of subject would be a bad thing.

AngelaDaviesHair Tue 14-Jan-14 11:41:07

Given the state of the French economy, he must be dying for someone to derail. Perhaps that's why Petits Pieds got photographed apres-liaison in the first place?

Lweji Tue 14-Jan-14 11:47:37

Cet homme est plein de drapeaux rouges.

LibraryBook et les outres femmes ont besoin du Programme Liberté.

Lweji Tue 14-Jan-14 11:48:35

Any bets at how many "aucun commentaire" during the press conference?

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 11:50:45

I would guess he'll answer questions about his personal life briefly then try and move it on. He might say that while Val is in hospital he diesn't want to say anything though...

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 12:17:45

he will say is that their relationship has broken down and ask for privacy to decouple.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 14:48:30

The press conference room is filling up. Journalists are all interviewing other journalists to fill the time. Someone from the BBC being interviewed now.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 14:49:12

Beeb bloke also agrees that Trierweiler's role needs to be clarified asap.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 15:38:52

It's started. He's doing his opening spiel.

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 15:48:15

He's so boring.

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 15:54:20

C'mon, get on with the main course.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 15:57:10

Yeah I need to go get my kids from nursery in 45 minutes. I hope he gets to the good stuff before then. Once they are back they'll want to watch cbeebies.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Tue 14-Jan-14 16:06:51

Alors! What did 'e say?

coffeeinbed Tue 14-Jan-14 16:07:24

Not much.
But used a whole lot of words.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:09:44

Nothing yet. He's setting out his finance policies and other dull but important stuff. Q&A not started yet. No ref to the personal issues.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:16:40

Q&a starting.

LineRunner Tue 14-Jan-14 16:18:53

What is 'appening?

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:20:14

First journo asking if there is need for clarification. Is val still first lady?

His answer: i understand the question. Each person has trials in their personal life, it's hard. But private stuff is to be dealt with privately. It is not the time or place to do it right now.

Wuss.

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 16:21:39

Meh.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:21:41

So he didn't answer and appears to have said he isn't going to answer questions about his private life. Says he will clarify before a date the journo referred to. I think that's the Washington trip but the damn dog started barking.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:23:37

And the whole world stops listening grin

coffeeinbed Tue 14-Jan-14 16:24:24

He has to get it out of the way.
He'll probably separate from Val, otherwise he would have said they are working things out.
But he didn't want to dump her on national TV, just as well.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:24:31

Big mistake Franky. Can't believe I listened to all that.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:26:30

He should have said his companion is in hospital and that his first priority was to get her better and then come to some kind of conclusion.

coffeeinbed Tue 14-Jan-14 16:27:43

With politicians the best is to pay attention to what they are not saying.

LineRunner Tue 14-Jan-14 16:29:30

What a fish froid.

EmilyAlice Tue 14-Jan-14 16:30:45

If he can sort out the red tape around small businesses then his private life should be a doddle.
But if I was Val (or indeed still had a small business) I wouldn't be holding my breath....

Gigondas Tue 14-Jan-14 16:32:41

Indeed petite-has he actually visited her at all or is that nit reportable?

LineRunner Tue 14-Jan-14 16:33:45

Indeed, it's actrices and badly theorized socialist macro-economics all the way.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:35:22

They haven't even said where she is. They haven't said if he has visited her or not. I think you're getting more gory details in the British press.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 16:41:45

Another one is asking if he is going to sue Closer and about press legislation.

He has said he doesn't want press legislation to be tightened. Says as he has immunity from being attacked in court should he have the right to attack the magazine. But he is indignant about attack on privacy and lack of respect for privacy.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 17:33:56

Looks like he dodged it all.

There is one French (satirical) paper which is willing to properly take the piss, their current front page here (warning, explicit cartoon, will put you off your dinner)

Not sure what they have written inside though.

Jaffacakesallround Tue 14-Jan-14 17:36:29

eet eez a priveet matteur

LineRunner Tue 14-Jan-14 17:39:55

Ooh, lovely, Petite. Somewhat etched on my brain now.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 17:41:29

grin can't say I didn't warn you

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 14-Jan-14 18:18:39

eeewww, where is the brain bleach! You could have say "careful charlie hebdo"!

PattyPenguin Tue 14-Jan-14 18:31:35

Thing is Val isn't even PACSed with the salaud (hence the petition and legal case back in the summer over her state-financed office and minions - did anything ever come of that, BTW?) Mind you, Segolene wasn't either, but then she wasn't "First Lady".

M. Flanby should really have installed Val in a nice house in a classy suburb in the traditional manner. I doubt whether anyone would have given a flying figue, then.

Twinklestein Tue 14-Jan-14 19:03:32

Il paraît qu'il veut continuer baiser l'actrice... non?

Oui, twinklestein, il me semble. What is the point of being a gorgeous and famous French actress when the best you can do is an unattractive serial adulterer who everyone hates??? At least she gets croissants!

ForalltheSaints Tue 14-Jan-14 19:34:21

I saw his press conference this afternoon. He seems to have a lot less charisma than the short man who did his job up until 2012. Though for the first time he spoke slowly enough for me to understand him (je parle un peu francais).

Lots of your fellow countrymen and women have come to live in London since you moved into the apartment.

TheGingerBreadWoman Tue 14-Jan-14 19:41:18

Is the actress expecting???? Rumour has it she is 4 months along.....

bunnyfrance Tue 14-Jan-14 19:54:21

Ooooh, that's a new twist, thegingerbreadwoman! Do you have inside information??

PetiteRaleuse Tue 14-Jan-14 20:05:44

So sayeth Twitter...

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 20:39:36

Ooh that would be exciting. A bebe might be a boost to his popularity.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Tue 14-Jan-14 21:59:40

Mon dieu- surely they would have used preservatives of some kind?!

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Tue 14-Jan-14 22:00:34

That would explain val's vapours.

Lweji Tue 14-Jan-14 22:01:22

Oui, parce que les preservatives son 100% secure. grin

coffeeinbed Tue 14-Jan-14 22:04:54

And it would explain the peking of the whole story now.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Tue 14-Jan-14 22:05:10

Mmm jam.

Surely that beautiful actress wouldn't want the potato/pizza mans baby? It's incroyable.

LibraryBook Tue 14-Jan-14 23:50:48

Hopefully bebe Flanby will inherit maman's looks and papa's brains and not the other way around.

Not sure i would even assume he's the one with the brains, though, considering what a crap president he is. Maybe we could hope she's been cheating on him with someone else grin!?

PetiteRaleuse Wed 15-Jan-14 08:50:33

grin at Papa's brains.

AngelaDaviesHair Wed 15-Jan-14 11:09:53

Flanbebe?

LibraryBook Wed 15-Jan-14 16:10:16

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25743300

So he gets to carry on with his job and his love life is privee but her working life is curtailed .... grrr.

LibraryBook Wed 15-Jan-14 16:41:29
Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Wed 15-Jan-14 17:00:31

Unless he was the one who appointed her...

LibraryBook Wed 15-Jan-14 17:11:10

Hollande should just make her finance minister and be done with it.

PerpendicularVince Wed 15-Jan-14 17:19:02

Mon dieu! Julie is up ze duff?

That means they had to make the sex at least once.

Ownteethandhair Wed 15-Jan-14 18:17:47

I know Daily Rail is dirty word on here ) I saw it in the dentist's) but have you read Quentin Letts' piece today? Snigger worthy.

Lweji Thu 16-Jan-14 15:19:22

Mais, the probléme aujourd'hui c'est comme kick out la bientôt ex (BX or STBX) de la maison.

Elle veux lui pardonner et non pack ses bagages.

AngelaDaviesHair Thu 16-Jan-14 15:42:37

Laisse les security guards presidentiels le faire. Ou Sego. J'ai une idee qu'elle serais tres contente d'avoir le dernier mot avec pauvre Val.

coffeeinbed Thu 16-Jan-14 19:19:22

French Elle put Julie sur the cover.
That was quick!

jayho Thu 16-Jan-14 19:47:20

il a eu surely (late to the game)(grammar pedant)

jayho Thu 16-Jan-14 19:51:44

énorme sexisme relatif à madame treweiller comme toujours d'être une femme de carrière

Lweji Thu 16-Jan-14 19:57:57

Il a eu?

Je ne suis pas sure.

MrsYoungSalvoMontalbano Thu 16-Jan-14 20:03:24

Aux armes, citoyens!
Ouais! Enceinte. Putain! Ca m'etonne pas que VT est en hospital. C'est un peu trop, main JG enceinte... [triste]

ForalltheSaints Thu 16-Jan-14 20:23:33

I think he has been watching that English programme about this man called Ali G and thinking that he should be, how do the English say 'down with the kids' and so he has to have 'my Julie'.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 16-Jan-14 20:37:02

Has it been confirmed Julie is knocked up?

PetiteRaleuse Thu 16-Jan-14 20:40:08

Closer are planning another exclusive this week...

PetiteRaleuse Thu 16-Jan-14 20:42:14

And yes, Val is being treated horribly. Despite my cackling on behalf of Segolene, I think Val should play this out as much as she can.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 16-Jan-14 20:42:31

http://www.charliehebdo.fr/sommaire.html

MrsYoungSalvoMontalbano Thu 16-Jan-14 20:51:29

The salaud has dit he will announce qui est la First Dame avant son trip to the US around about St Valentin fete [choc]. Prob too late now for you to QLS, OP.
Have to admit, am team Sego but very much doute she is celebrating today (shadenfreude nonwithstanding) - her gosses are his kids too [triste]

Lweji Thu 16-Jan-14 20:56:29

Val could behave in a dignified way or slash his scooter tyres destroy his political carreer on the way out. It looks like the tyres.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 16-Jan-14 20:59:35

I think Val is behaving in a suitably dramatic yet restrained way.

Bonsoir Thu 16-Jan-14 21:01:54

DP and I discussed this over dinner. It would appear that François has been trying to get rid of Valérie for a long time and that she has been refusing to get the hint...

MrsYoungSalvoMontalbano Thu 16-Jan-14 21:05:39

Seems to me that the hospitalisation is more likely to be with a putative pregnancy than an infidelity. When my Dsis found out her DH was cheating, her first thought was - is she pregnant??? (OW had made it wisely knownd she wanted another baby). Luckily she was not. (She managed it with the next sucker sad). DSis and her DH reconciled, but the pregnancy would have been a deal-breaker.

MrsYoungSalvoMontalbano Thu 16-Jan-14 21:06:23

widely known

Twinklestein Thu 16-Jan-14 21:22:58

Bonsoir - a president who cannot fire a colleague is not fit for office.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 16-Jan-14 21:25:38

Bonsoir - a president can't just fire his first lady. Whatever. Even in France, he can't.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 16-Jan-14 21:26:10

And if that was his goal then it has massively backfired

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Thu 16-Jan-14 21:28:01

Val should stay in hospital for ages, writing a sordid kiss and tell, warts and all biography.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 16-Jan-14 21:28:15

Anyway, heard that Val popped a pill too much. They are saying it's not an overdose, but just enough.

For the record, I'm on Val's side. But am/was on Sego's side too. He is the twat here.

Lweji Thu 16-Jan-14 21:30:14

I bet that's what she's doing, along with keeping the press on it for a very long time.
She is une journaliste. She knows how it works.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Thu 16-Jan-14 21:30:22

He is, isn't he. And such an unattractive one too. I can't get over it!

coffeeinbed Thu 16-Jan-14 21:32:07

Thisis
I'm sure that's plan B.
Or maybe even plan A now.

Twinklestein Thu 16-Jan-14 21:38:47

What do you mean even in France, especially in France! Despite the claim to tolerance it has a very conservative bourgeois mentality...

I heard the same about the overdose...

Twinklestein Thu 16-Jan-14 21:45:21

Anyway, the previous first lady but one fired her president. She had the balls that Hollande lacked.

Lazyjaney Thu 16-Jan-14 21:55:48

"She is une journaliste. She knows how it works"

Exactement. Il n'ya pas de mauvaise publicite.....

I wonder how long le Hospital Bed gambit can go on for, and how she will exit it?

And when the baby card will be played.....

maparole Thu 16-Jan-14 22:49:13
Lazyjaney Thu 16-Jan-14 23:05:49

From the Torygraph article:

"En fait, un nouveau poll shows que depuis la scandale broke, le président a become plus populaire"

O le times, o le mores....

PetiteRaleuse Fri 17-Jan-14 10:02:56

Ooh Closer have released more juicy details. He is coming across as even more of a wanker.

Jaffacakesallround Fri 17-Jan-14 10:09:20

News today is that she 'took 1 pill too many'.

As I suggested she might have 3 days ago.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Fri 17-Jan-14 10:19:29

Val took one pill too many and my julie took one pill too few.

Ba boom.

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Fri 17-Jan-14 10:43:44

A Frenchman is having extra curricular rumpy pumpy ...and...this....is ..news, how?

He reminds me of Peter Glaze and therefore not rumpy-pumpy-able.
For all you young uns out there, you have to be of a certain age to know who the chuff he was.

AngelaDaviesHair Fri 17-Jan-14 11:15:52

What juicy details?

Le Hopital Lit gambit? Quinze jours.

He needs to sort it out, Michelle Obama has got to finalise the placement for the state banquet.

Lweji Fri 17-Jan-14 11:20:15

Michelle Obama inviting some woman: we may or may not want you at xxx dinner, depending on whether the French president brings a female companion or not, who may or may not be the official French First Lady at the time. I may be able to give you only 24h notice.

AngelaDaviesHair Fri 17-Jan-14 11:38:17

Talk about hospital pass: 'Hi, XXX, really sorry to do this to you, but I'm calling in that favour. You need to sit next to Petit Pieds at the State Banquet next week. He's between mistresses and has got no one to bring.'

LibraryBook Fri 17-Jan-14 12:41:41

Yes Val should remain First Lady from her hospital bed, forever. She'll grow increasingly more Miss Havisham-like, but persist in giving weekly press conferences, from her hospital room, in tears. She'll write a series of books from her hospital bed: 'A croissant for a heart' and 'All the President's shoes' are an international sensation.

I gather Hollande has finally visited VT in hospital. I wonder if he took Ferrero Rocher?

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Fri 17-Jan-14 16:00:57

Val as miss haversham - the thorn in Hollandes side.

An excellent image!

Lweji Fri 17-Jan-14 16:01:49

"LB", why are you talking about yourself in the 3rd person?

Do you think you're the Queen of France now?

grin

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism Fri 17-Jan-14 22:15:52

Now I see sego's son introduced les deux.

Do you think sego knew about it?

Do you think sego's son was shagging her too?

Or none of the above.

Yes, I have a prurient interest in this case.

Lazyjaney Fri 17-Jan-14 22:44:08

For some reason I found myself reading about Madame de Pompadour

Plus ca change etc......

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