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Where'd the thread go?

(90 Posts)
CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 06-Oct-13 17:11:39

About not listening to the middle-aged male groomers in disguise? Pulled?

Anniegetyourgun Sun 06-Oct-13 17:13:01

Yes, sadly, as I'd only read the first page. I thought there might have been a bit of a giggle to be had before it disappeared, but was too slow.

I haven't forgotten what you admitted about yourself though, Cog wink

Has it gorn?
Aww, was looking for some more pearls of wisdom from the OP
(Sad-face in nude shoes)

Anniegetyourgun Sun 06-Oct-13 17:16:17

Never mind, there'll be another along in a short while, no doubt.

YoniTime Sun 06-Oct-13 17:19:13

What a weird poster that was. Yes there ARE some middle-aged men posting on Relationships, but they don't tend to disguise themlseves as women giving LTB-type of advice...

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 06-Oct-13 17:20:55

Well I quite enjoy a fight smile <rolls up sleeves and mutters 'come and have a go if you think you're hard enough'> But then us middle-aged blokes often do.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 06-Oct-13 17:24:25

I must say the sound of your trousers tied up with string under your armpits 'as set my tiny heart a-flutter, Cog. How's about you and me, like, getting it on?

<hopes this will distract anyone who may suspect Annie is not all "she" seems>

Jagdkuh Sun 06-Oct-13 17:27:03

Haha cognito is a man. one wonders exactly what manner of man posts on mumsnet all day - my guess a lonely one. haha.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 06-Oct-13 17:30:02

Takes one to know one Jagdkuh... hmm

Jagdkuh Sun 06-Oct-13 17:40:07

Haha, ok. do you even have a family or partner? perhaps you should spend time with them.

AnyFucker Sun 06-Oct-13 17:43:49

Cog, how did the prostrate exam go grin

Anniegetyourgun Sun 06-Oct-13 17:44:09

See, I told you there'd be another one along in a minute.

AnyFucker Sun 06-Oct-13 17:44:58

Likes buses, innit

Smelly, sweaty, empty on the top floor.

Jagdkuh Sun 06-Oct-13 17:49:38

Anyfucker still giving terrible advice regarding mental health issues? like how people with a.b.i have 'no excuse to be grumpy.' and other gems?

LittleMissGerardLouiseButler Sun 06-Oct-13 17:50:23

What did I miss, damn work getting in the way grin

AnyFucker Sun 06-Oct-13 17:58:37

Jag, I have no idea what you are talking and couldn't care any less.

AnyFucker Sun 06-Oct-13 17:58:49

talking *about

YoniTime Sun 06-Oct-13 17:58:50

Not much. Just someone (a bitter middle-aged man?) warning people that the ones giving advice here might actually be bitter middle-aged men.

Boosterseat Sun 06-Oct-13 18:13:14

I miss everything.

Damn kid having shit to do. Does he not know I'm busy.

Did anyone find the cat? I bloody hope not

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Sun 06-Oct-13 19:12:54

On what grounds was it deleted I wonder? Troll-hunting I guess. Could have been a fun one, that- particularly with the collection of grammatical inaccuracies which littered his stream of insanity.

Cog was outed as a grunting smoking-jacket-wearing naked-from-the-waist-down pervert though and for that may we all be truly thankful.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 06-Oct-13 19:25:40

Smoking jacket!! How very dare you!!! I'll have you know it's a donkey jacket ..

akaWisey Sun 06-Oct-13 19:35:18

Cats know where they're best off booster grin <snaps braces against chest and wiggles toes in front of fire>.

oh no, not the cat again.

akaWisey Sun 06-Oct-13 19:49:01

See this is what happens when I don't report for MN duty. I take a fews hours R&R and some nincompoop (see what `i did there, AF) stirs it all up then poof, they're gone.

mammadiggingdeep Sun 06-Oct-13 19:53:04

Right on cue jag crawls out the wood work....now where is cronulansw or whatever his name is?????

mammadiggingdeep Sun 06-Oct-13 19:54:24

Not like him to miss a chance to bash regular, respected wise posters on here......

Damn. I always miss the fun <scratches balls, sniffs fingers>

akaWisey Sun 06-Oct-13 20:18:12

tall I was eating peanut butter on toast….

Lucca22 Sun 06-Oct-13 20:24:22

was it my post?!

Lucca22 Sun 06-Oct-13 20:25:57

if so, trolls.......or whatever they are called, had it on another site.

AnyFucker Sun 06-Oct-13 20:27:00

Nincompoop Central, innit. smile

Chubfuddler Sun 06-Oct-13 20:29:11

I'll watch this thread for lolls instead shall I?

Offred Sun 06-Oct-13 20:35:44

The cat is in the high up cupboard... I did tell him but his wife was too busy cooking his supper to check I think...

Lucca22 Sun 06-Oct-13 20:36:29

No, it wasn't my last post.......got rid, if I want to be in a nut house I'd spend more time entertaining them, which isn't an option these days, thankfully.

Sorry Wisey, t'was a reference to an AIBU thread I was reading this morning (while eating toast...woo...) and couldn't resist. I am a woman really, though had to play a bloke in all school plays at my all-girls school becuase so tall, and tried to get a balls-scratching moment into every production smile

mammadiggingdeep Sun 06-Oct-13 20:42:11

Haha tall....just spat my tea out smile

akaWisey Sun 06-Oct-13 20:42:27

My cat regularly licks the area where his balls used to be <trying to connect the posts>

Doinmummy Sun 06-Oct-13 20:44:54

Cog are you a man? You can't be!! I've got a mental pic of you as a woman!

akaWisey Sun 06-Oct-13 20:45:11

Have eaten peanut butter on toast obvs grin

akaWisey Sun 06-Oct-13 20:46:46

Ah the cog. chameleon, corinthian and caricature.

I've had wine and antibiotics and I think I prob need to just stop now.

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 06-Oct-13 21:14:29

Mumsnet - just one bit ol' Working Men's Club. Innit.

<scratches ... ummm ... something>

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 06-Oct-13 21:17:47

Big, not bit. blush Typing's a struggle with my big trucker hands.

Apologies to any real, bona fide truckers on Mumsnet. I'm sure you're lovely.

Boosterseat Sun 06-Oct-13 21:20:50

"My cat regularly licks the area where his balls used to be"

grin Just shit DH arrfing at that.

It's been a lively few days, I've definitely upped the usage of the word cunt just for artistic flair.

caramelwaffle Sun 06-Oct-13 21:37:19

Ahhh. Here you all are.

<scratches bum>

What's been going on here then? Another numpty invasion?

Cogito, you are a man? It ALL makes sense now grin, so obvious!

I missed that thread, damn - like others, RL and kid related stuff going on.

Why has it been so troll heavy? It's not even the school holidays yet?

<<shaves knuckles>>

Shakey1500 Sun 06-Oct-13 21:47:00

Cog I read your posts on relationships all the time, sound advice always given and I would never ever in a gazillion years had you as a man (not in that way obvs grin )

Walkacrossthesand Sun 06-Oct-13 21:50:20

Cog is a gurl. She has a son that she gave birth to. I know cos she said so. <gavel>.

Shit, what did I miss?

Cog cannot be a man shock you'll be telling me the same about AF next...

AnyFucker Sun 06-Oct-13 22:22:06

I got a boner goin' on here. Can any of you ladeez help me out with it ?

< leers >

AF and cog are a happily cohabiting male couple grin

You heard it here first <nods sagely>

AnyFucker Sun 06-Oct-13 23:07:28

< rubs thighs >

Anniegetyourgun Sun 06-Oct-13 23:50:03

For the avoidance of confusion, latecomers may wish to be aware that the deleted thread was about whether everyone who posts on this forum is quite who they say they are. It was suggested that the LTB brigade are really bitter middle-aged men. Hence why there are suddenly so many men apparently "outing" themselves here. Geddit?

BitBewildered Mon 07-Oct-13 00:02:42

Balls. I've missed something haven't I?

Really should be going to bed, but Wisey's post earlier has me craving some old DB magic. May have also had wine

You have impeccable taste, Wisey

<goes off to rummage through old CDs, scratching crotch simultaneously>

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 07-Oct-13 00:21:48

AnyFucker - you do attract some stalky nutters grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 07-Oct-13 00:22:22

<wafts the duvet>

AnyFucker Mon 07-Oct-13 00:25:59

oops, chip, I just pm'ed you about the wrong thread

never mind grin

nopanicandverylittleanxiety Mon 07-Oct-13 01:49:34

Ha ha. This has just totally cheered me up.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Mon 07-Oct-13 06:52:02

Cog and AF are now just posting that they are men as an evil ploy in order to GAIN CREDIBILITY so that they can then post an insincere LTB to someone who's husband doesn't deserve it in a pointless attempt to sabotage a complete stranger's perfectly healthy relationship! MWA HA HA!

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 07-Oct-13 07:13:29

I am not a bloke... I am a dumpy middle-aged woman with a piano fixation smile But then again... I would say that, wouldn't I? <cue spooky music>

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Oct-13 08:03:37

<sniffs>

Strong whiff of testosterone in the air this morning!

Anniegetyourgun Mon 07-Oct-13 10:14:22

I don't believe you. Any of you. Even the ones who say they are lying.

And those blokes witches in Mumsnet Towers, they're just as bad. Deleting threads all over the place. You've got to ask yourself: what do they have to hide?

Boosterseat Mon 07-Oct-13 10:16:55

oooh a conspiracy!

Its them lizard people again, slithering all over the place grin

LittleMissGerardLouiseButler Mon 07-Oct-13 10:29:02

Ooh do you think it's really Justin and Oliver at MNHQ?

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 07-Oct-13 10:31:32

Mumsnet Towers is riddled. Surely everyone knows it's Justin 'Slugger' Roberts at the helm? Weston-Super-Mare Cut-Throat Shaving Champion three years running. Sends that very nice woman out to do all the interviews while he lurks in the shadows. Must be true. I read it on t'interweb... confused

VeeAndTea Mon 07-Oct-13 10:40:26

Christ alive, I spend one evening talking to DH about Downton Abbey and everyone is outed as middle-aged men trying to turn women against their perfectly lovely husbands.

I mean, it's totally normal to refuse to allow your wife to wear shoes and demand that she clean your bollocks with her toothbrush, isn't it?

Anniegetyourgun Mon 07-Oct-13 10:47:39

Of course it is, VeeAndTea. He paid for the toothbrush, after all.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Mon 07-Oct-13 10:50:41

And why would she even want shoes? She'd only wear them on her feet.

VeeAndTea Mon 07-Oct-13 10:54:51

Exactly!

Just last night the wife and I were talking and I said to her "you're a lucky lady, not many men would eat that atrocious dinner you just cooked". I mean, fucking swan roasted in kumquats* followed by gold-leaf chocolate mousse. You'd think she'd make a bloody effort!

*I just like that word

Anniegetyourgun Mon 07-Oct-13 11:04:09

Kumquats? Fuckin' forrin muck. She'd be wearing that dinner if it was my missus.

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Oct-13 11:17:31

Ah, I'm glad you're all finally showing your true manly colurs! At last, some good, common sense advice.

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 07-Oct-13 11:17:56

Morning folks,

Thank you to those who brought this thread to our attention. We have to say that TSSDNSP, and technically this is a thread about a thread. But seeing as you're now talking about....we're not really sure what you're talking about, we're going to leave this as it is.

However, if the thread starts to skewiff, we will zap it.

Boosterseat Mon 07-Oct-13 11:29:49

I missed the memo about cleaning bollocks, surely giving them a good old scratch dislodges the dirt and I will hoover it up later? fucking excellent wife i am

Brings a whole new meaning to Dyson ball cleaner.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 07-Oct-13 11:30:49

Morning Kate! Or should I say... Charles?

VeeAndTea Mon 07-Oct-13 11:32:09

Booster grin

Morning KarlMN, nothing to see here, move along <said with a burp>

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 07-Oct-13 11:33:39

To quote Monty Python (and does that out me or what?) 'this is all getting very silly...'

Boosterseattheballcleaner Mon 07-Oct-13 11:33:59

<twirls at my name change>

Oh yes boys i suck everything wink

LittleMissGerardLouiseButler Mon 07-Oct-13 11:34:03

I notice that nothing was denied by MNHQ? grin

LeGavrOrf Mon 07-Oct-13 11:34:37

Haha Justin slugger Roberts.

And Carl, Hank, Rowan (BOYS name) Oliver.

No flies on US

VeeAndTea Mon 07-Oct-13 11:35:42

Cog, and yet, no-one expects the spanish inquisition!

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 07-Oct-13 11:38:13

Knew I should have shaved this morning...

Boosterseattheballcleaner Mon 07-Oct-13 11:40:19

Do any of you have wives with a suitable dish drying rack?

VeeAndTea Mon 07-Oct-13 11:43:00

Booster, mine has a rack that she wear on her back, so that she can carry on working while the dishes dry. It's a sort of rucksack and even better, she can wear the baby in a sling on her front. Around her stomach though, I demand access to my breasts 24/7.

It's only right...

Boosterseattheballcleaner Mon 07-Oct-13 11:49:31

I hear you bro.

Perhaps its time to invest in a pair of these bad boys for your special little lady

fashion and functionality

VeeAndTea Mon 07-Oct-13 11:54:26

wow! She could wear those while she's dancing for me....

TheVermiciousKnid Mon 07-Oct-13 12:29:47

Now, I think the few real women on this thread should leave now and do something useful and appropriate, like clean behind the fridge.

<adjusts beard>

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Mon 07-Oct-13 14:23:42

KateSMumsnet has got a willy <sniggers behind beard>

Boosterseattheballcleaner Mon 07-Oct-13 14:30:05

Would you like to borrow my ball cleaner KateSMumsnet

<innocent face>

Foaming

<snarf> @ "the natural tack of the ball"

V good, Booster grin

Boosterseattheballcleaner Mon 07-Oct-13 14:39:59

"this ball cleaner does not affect the intrinsic, hook, length or back-end of the ball"

Thank the lord grin

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