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How to move on when its over

(79 Posts)
FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 07:18:46

Me and my OH have been having a lot if problems and we split up far few weeks ago but got back together quickly but spoke about what we both needed to change and how we knew it wouldn't happen over night but we had to work at it and now a few weeks later its over for good. I'm scared, I'm devastated, I love him. We've had bad times this last year but we've had alot of good times. I can't ge my head around he's not going to be here anymore and they'll be no more cuddling, kisses, laughing and being able to phone for a chat. He was my best friend! How do I deal with this?

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 27-Sep-13 07:28:52

Sorry it's come to an end but you didn't sound well-matched from the pencil sketch you've given. If a relationship has to be worked at and the people in it have to change then it's pretty dead.

I don't know how long you were together or how serious the relationship was but, if you're used to doing everything as a couple, being independent does come as a shock at first. There will be an OH-shaped hole in your life for a while and there's no real getting away from that. Do you have DCs together or is there no reason to ever be in touch again?

Best advice really is to find other things to do. Be with (real) friends, keep yourself very busy and make some plans for the future so that you have things to look forward to. Don't sit home waiting for texts that never come and don't be tempted to call him. Chin up..

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 07:32:04

Thanks, we've been together 6 years and have 1 DC together. It's the last year that's been bad. Before that very thing was great and we had an ideal relationship. We have a lot of time without each other, I'm a SAHM and he works long hour but I know I can phone him for a chat or he's coming home and we'll cuddle and talk. I feel like there's a hole already and he's still in the house

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 27-Sep-13 07:41:27

He has to leave I'm afraid. It's bad enough grieving for the end of a relationship and the feelings of rejection that go with it. It's intolerable having the very person who has rejected you and withdrawn their affection staring you in the face every day. You end up 'on hold' .. torn between needing to grieve, wanting to move on and hoping it can all get patched up. So take control & tell him to go. You'll feel worse short-term, but you'll be able to start living again. Good luck

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 07:47:02

He said he needs some time to sort things out before he leaves. My head is so messed up, I want to sit and cry but I can't do that hmm

herald Fri 27-Sep-13 07:48:41

This has recently happened to me and you are right it does feel like part of your life is missing, and it is . The way I find best to deal with it is to have as little contact with the OH as possible, you will need to have contact for the DC but apart from that try to put a bit of distance between both of you. And yes he needs to move out to help you deal with it.

herald Fri 27-Sep-13 07:49:33

It sounds like he doesn't want to leave and maybe feels it can be patched up again

HorizontalRunningOnly Fri 27-Sep-13 07:49:59

This is me too! Me and my dp of 5 years ended things this month and he's now at a friends. We have a 2 yr old ds. I know what u mean about the hole in life, I feel gutted and heartbroken but also betrayed by him as he didn't put me before his mate which is why it had ended. Good advice tho I need to follow it too!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 27-Sep-13 07:59:00

'He needs'? Why do his needs trump yours? Who instigated the initial separation? Who instigated the latest split? Who was the one that decided nothing was going to change? I don't think it was you.... He appears to be quite casual about this whereas you're breaking your heart.

Get him out

herald Fri 27-Sep-13 07:59:55

It's all about time it gets better as the weeks go on, their will always be days or weeks when you will feel like its all bad but then you will have a great day and realise it is all worth it .

Good luck and be strong, the ladies (and a few of us men) on here will give you great advise and support as they are doing with me.

therewearethen Fri 27-Sep-13 08:05:16

Me to, my now ex DP moves out tomorrow sad

Thanks to the advice on here, I've made plans. I'm one of those people who has to have routine, so I've planned getting the DC ready for school etc down to the last minute!

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 08:10:23

He ended it and he wouldn't try. Says in his head its over but 3 days ago he was telling me that he had no intention of ended things and e loves me and wants todo whatever to make us work then the night before he ended it we went out of ether without DD had a great time together then 12 hours later its over

HorizontalRunningOnly Fri 27-Sep-13 08:11:25

Blimey September is the month for being left by our 'd'ps isn't it. I had a huge cry last night all triggered by him dropping of our ds jacket that he had forgotten a less than one min slight doorstep chat had me bawling for a good half hour after just because he was chatty and nice and my brain forgets all the reasons we aren't together and i was heartbroken all over again!! Hope it gets better, he deffo needs to move out and make sure all his stuff is gone or boxed up, I could bare seeing his things once he'd gone

HorizontalRunningOnly Fri 27-Sep-13 08:16:20

Far - that is so similar to me too! Three weeks ago on sunday he's saying he loves me will do what he can to fix what he's done wrong doesnt want to leave loves me etc. row monday night he won't upset his mate and pretty much chooses him over me and doesn't doesnt come home!! He's since returned for his stuff only and to see ds but now says doesnt love me and I have a nasty streak and say horrible things to him!

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 09:04:38

Horizontal how you doing 3 weeks later? It's just a huge head fuck! Ge left the house this morning and was abit shocked when I said its going to hurt to much for him to stay here and he just walked out without saying anything. I doubt ill hear from him but he did say that he wants the pictures of us together that I was taking down of the walls, why does he want pictures to remind him when he's finished it all. I just don't understand

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 27-Sep-13 09:13:23

Do think there is someone else? This hot/cold to-ing and fro-ing business makes it sound like he's been trying to decide which way to jump for a while and that often involves choosing between the existing partner and someone new. I've no idea why he'd want pictures of the two of you together except for some kind of sentimental self-torturing exercise. hmm It's more common for the exiting partner to try to pretend things were never right.

I'm glad he was a bit shocked when you told him to move out. Reality has to start biting him...

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 09:34:33

I would have said no thereis no one else but a few people have been asking so it makes you think but I'm not sure. I would have said he's not that type of person but I would have said he isn't capable of e way he's behaved over the last 10 months

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 09:46:01

We have an amazing hoilday booked in just over a months time and he wants to cancel it sad I want to go and just get away from for a while and have a break and a rest

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 27-Sep-13 09:46:20

No-one (myself included) think their partner is 'the type'... but, sadly, big switches in personality followed by confused messages about not being sure about whether they love you or not are very common precursors to finding out that you've been replaced.

Cogito has it bang to rights (I think) AGAIN.
Sounds like another woman to me as well.
It was perfect before. The last year has been hard.
Don't be surprised when there is a GF on the scene very soon after he leaves.
The script has begun.
And believe me - mine wasn't the 'type' either but after 15 years of marriage - turns out - yes he was!
Get him out - pack his bags now and tell him he has to leave as you need the space and having him there is not working for you!

Well if you want to go on the holiday then go own your own with DC if it was planned as family.
You'll probably get very little back from the booking so make the most of it.
Get away and relax and enjoy it!
Ignore what he says. It's booked - you wanna go - you damn well go!

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 12:56:39

He won't let me go with DD said that if he can't get the money back his mate will give it him and change the booking names. He's just told me I have to get out of the house, his parents own it and said they will outthe rent up so I can't live there anymore

Mosman Fri 27-Sep-13 14:43:29

Is he shagging this mate ? Stranger things have happened

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 15:04:46

His mate is going to go on our holiday with his OH and XP won't be going.

I'm so confused. I can't get my head straight

Chyochan Fri 27-Sep-13 15:32:59

Where does he think you and your (and his) child will go? This sounds bizare. Can you speak to his parents?

My ex did lots of confusing things, one minuite telling me he loved me, the next he wanted to be alone. I never found out why he ended it.

It is a real head fuck.

Mosman Fri 27-Sep-13 15:37:25

His parents won't throw their grandchild out surely ?

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 27-Sep-13 16:39:55

You need legal advice. Don't move yourself and your children out until you've spoken to CAB or a lawyer. You're also going to need a lot of RL support from friends and family because it sounds like this one has decided he's going to be unreasonable from the off. Are you married?

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 18:30:39

I can't speak to his parents because we don't get along at all and they will see this as getting one over on me. Ill have to move back to my DMs why I try and sort something out. There's a big bill due at the start of the moth so I want to leave before that so I'm not liable to pay it. He said I can stay there for a couple f weeks to try an sort something but I have to pay that bill and everything else, how he expects me to do this when I'm a SAHM and he's the wage earner I don't no.

I do have a lot of RL support but at the minute it still does t feel like it helps

HorizontalRunningOnly Fri 27-Sep-13 20:19:54

I am doing ok most of the time but when he's nice I get really upset and had a big cry last night. Then he sets me back by not paying me out agrees maintenance tomo even tho he had several thousand pounds of our divided savings 3 weeks ago now he's got nothing to give me for our son and was shitty and full of attitude on the phone so now I'm back to feeling well shot of him!! How u doing far? Image holiday sounds good but u might find urself thinking what if dp was here. Maybe cancel and go away on a specific break for urself? smile

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 20:25:08

I'm glad to hear your feeling shot on him horizontal and hope it lasts for you. I'm not doing to good. I feel like my head is a mess, I'm so angry with him, I'm devastated I have to leave my home, I'm scared of a future without him. Everything really. It's going to be so hard to move out but I'm trying to keep busy but I just want to cry but a crying mummy is no good for DD. I'm not going on the holiday he's cancelling it and keeping the money

HorizontalRunningOnly Fri 27-Sep-13 20:35:04

Ergh just read the other posts what an arse hole throwing u out, I'm sure it will be a tough time but maybe a fresh start somewhere with ur dd will help in the long wrong. Def dont move out straight away e can't just chuck you and ur daughter out. I hope u can channel some rage to get through this hard stage. I'm rage filled at the moment thanks to his royal crappyness but also have really down times to thinking about what could have been! Bloody shitty poxy men!!

FarOverTheRainbow Fri 27-Sep-13 20:51:18

That's what's hard to accept isn't it that what you had planned or thought your future was going to be isn't anymore. Through everything I still love him and want that life but I don't want to love him hmm. I was tempted to refuse to go but I don't want to get stuck with loads of bills I can't pay either so I think maybe just making the break will help

HorizontalRunningOnly Fri 27-Sep-13 20:56:32

Yes clean break sounds good, I live with my dad at the mo and dp has moved out. It's hard to think of next year as we had planned to by a house and have a sibling and now he doesn't give a shite about me! I still love him to but can see through his behaviour he's not the person I thought he was after all and doesn't deserve to know how upset I get any more. I'm sure once you get away from the house even if its to ur parents u can start thinking more clearly and there will be less memories everywhere

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 28-Sep-13 06:43:02

I don't get this part about the big bills, sorry. If you have no income and you're not the home-owner are you saying you are the sole name on these bills... you're solely liable? Because if his name appears on the bill you can simply do nothing, refuse to pay and let the creditor sue him for the money.

FarOverTheRainbow Sat 28-Sep-13 07:26:15

When I moved into the house it was just me and I worked in a fairly decent job and I done long hours so all the bills were in my name and when he moved in we just put all our money together but never changed the names on things so its still my name on everything. When I stopped working it was just his money going into the pot and that paid for everything, so all bills and tenancy is all in my name not his.

FarOverTheRainbow Sat 28-Sep-13 07:31:55

Horizontal it's good you can now see through him. I'm dreading moving back home I had a good life and memories and leaving will feel so final even though I no it is already.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 28-Sep-13 07:43:35

It cuts both ways. If the bills are in your name they are your bills. But if the tenancy is in your name your home is all yours as well. You really should have a session with CAB because I would be shocked if that didn't give you a lot of rights... regardless of who the landlord happens to be. Tell him you're going nowhere.

FarOverTheRainbow Sat 28-Sep-13 07:45:58

But if they put the rent up I can't afford it. I'm going to have to claim benefits until I work out what I will/can do work wise and I don't want to get behind of things and have debt. I feel like its just nightmares every where I turn

FarOverTheRainbow Sat 28-Sep-13 08:04:00

It's so hard to break the routine we were in, when he's at work I normally phone when I'm up with DD. I haven't spoke to him properly for days since before we split up and I miss him hmm I hate feeling like this. I'm trying so hard to focus on DD but my mind wonders off and then I feel terrible for not being able to give her my complete attention

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 28-Sep-13 08:11:26

If you are the tenant (with a signed agreement) I don't think the landlord can just arbitrarily raise the rent that easily. CAB ... honestly, you need legal advice rather than guessing. Benefits are there precisely for people who need them... not lavish but you'll be claiming as a single person and, at the same time, your ex is financially responsible for your DD.

Run your new details through the benefits checker at www.turn2us.org.uk and see how it pans out. You may find there is more help than you imagine

As for your DD... you're rebuilding her life so cut yourself some slack. I'm sure you do miss having a partner around but he's rejected you so you have to stay strong and keep your distance. Good luck

FarOverTheRainbow Sat 28-Sep-13 13:32:46

Thanks cogito ill check that. Thank you for all help. He's phoned saying he needs me to go to the travel agent to sign forms with him to change the names over

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 28-Sep-13 13:36:34

Tell him you're far too busy to fill in forms. Make his life difficult. In your shoes I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. smile

FarOverTheRainbow Sat 28-Sep-13 14:00:29

I said ok on the phone but with hind sight I'm going to say I'm no busy and he'll have to fit in when I'm free

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 28-Sep-13 14:03:01

Attagirl! smile

FarOverTheRainbow Sun 29-Sep-13 00:09:28

Why is it that I manage to keep most thoughts out my head all day but when I try to sleep I can't get rid of them hmm in tempted to tell him I'm going on this holiday and tell the travel agents that I'm going and under no circumstances will I be changing my name on any tickets but I think things will blow up then and I CBA but I really need a break. I've already lost everything else, some time out would be amazing

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 29-Sep-13 05:39:19

The thoughts invade your head when you're trying to go to sleep because you're not actively thinking about something else. During the day when you're busy and doing things, your mind is occupied. If you have a clock radio with a sleep function, try putting it on talk radio for half an hour when you go to bed. Even if you're only half listening, it stops the thoughts crowding your mind.

On the tickets thing... stand your ground. Be inconvenient. Be difficult. Even take the view that if you don't go on the holiday, no-one goes.... let him sit looking at all that wasted money and know that it's all his own fault.

HorizontalRunningOnly Sun 29-Sep-13 08:41:53

If you want to go on holiday then say that and refuse to give up ur ticket. If u just want to annoy him I wouldnt go down the stubborn road but that's just me. I'm trying my very hardest with me ex to try and take the high road even with him now suddenly having not a penny of his saving left to pay te child maintenance figure he agreed rrrrrraarr! Stupid men!

FarOverTheRainbow Sun 29-Sep-13 13:22:24

I do want to go I think after how hard this year has been a break is so needed. I don't want arguments and problems but I'm being forced to leave my home, lose my holiday, he will expect to have everything in the house. I feel like abit of a push over doing elegant I'm told. He ended it and walked away but it's me that loses it all

HorizontalRunningOnly Sun 29-Sep-13 17:38:44

Don't let him keep everything ur are entitled to stuff as well especially as u are housing dd. it's awful I know - I'm in the position of him ending it and he's just skipped off without a backward glance. Try and have a get away if u can even if its not the holiday u had planned.

FarOverTheRainbow Sun 29-Sep-13 17:43:27

It's horrible being left isn't it horizontal? I keep thinking why this, why that, he says he loves me but....

I'm sick of my head being a mess. Sorting through things today and it breaks my heart. How can he just give up on all we have because of his poisonous mother? How can he not see that he's given her what she wants at the cost of all our happinesses.

One minute I think one thing and the next I can't stop crying. I think he's going to come back to the house late tonight even though I've told him I don't want him here until I move out, which seemed to shock him.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 29-Sep-13 17:44:45

He can't force you to do anything. I know you don't want arguments and problems but, if you stand up for yourself now, it's a kind of statement of intent how you are going to approach your new life going forward. Be assertive and you'll be proud of yourself. Keep going the 'elegant' route and your self-respect will suffer.

FarOverTheRainbow Sun 29-Sep-13 17:52:41

I'm going to contact CAB tomorrow and hopefully get some help. I'm going to phone the travel agents and tell them I have no intention of not going on the hoilday and will tell XP that I haven't had time to think about what I'm going to do about the holiday because I've been to busy trying to out plans into place to put a roof over our child's head seems as were being forced out of our home but when I've had a chance to think then I'll let him know my decision.

HorizontalRunningOnly Sun 29-Sep-13 18:37:58

Good idea about the holiday! He can't force u to hurry up about that.

It's really horrible I'm the same sometime drying sometime glad he's buggered off. Luckily at 2.7 my ds is happy enough and not worries about anything. I'm gutted about it all and all he said he he doesn't love me. Cheers for that explanation - a month a go he was talking about the future and spoilt me for my bday so i just don't get it. He seems bewitched by his best mate and does whatever he wants including a finance agreement on his name without telling me which sparked the whole argument - he refuses to cancel it for our financial stability and then just didn't come home one night and that's all I got! He won't respond to anything I ask about our relationship so in left imagining his responses and and what he's thinking! hmm

FarOverTheRainbow Sun 29-Sep-13 18:41:58

shock Your head must be so messed up. How does he think that he doesn't owe you an explanation? Twat.

I wish I didn't love him. It would make it so much easier if I could just switch it off

HorizontalRunningOnly Sun 29-Sep-13 21:23:01

Yup it's awful, I still love him as we which makes it worse, ifkynd out about the friend loan sat, obv fumibg we disussed it sat and sun and sunday, monday night he refused to cancel it because he couldnt let his mate down and he didn't come home and hasn't since!! It's awful I just don't get it. Tmi and I know men have sex without feelings but considering he now doesn't love me and thinks I have a nasty streak he didn't put up any complaints on the bloody Friday before he f**ked off on the Monday! I don't know how men can be like this and having a child with him I would think he'd have some respect for me but clearly not! I hope ur doing ok wih him coming to the house. I find it much harder when I have to see ex on the 2 days he has ds. Keep ur head up tho xx

cjel Sun 29-Sep-13 21:36:14

The only thing I can see is that the mate has some sort of hold on him and maybe he hasn't told you the truth about all that?x

HorizontalRunningOnly Sun 29-Sep-13 21:50:21

Lord knows he must have something over him but he's been staying with him and his wife and their two young sons for the past three weeks. He doesn't have many friends at all and this is a very old friend they lost touch but randomly met 18 months ago and he has caused numerous little arguments since then but my ex signing a finance agreement for him 3 months from us going to get a mortgage was the last straw. I don't know if my ex has done anything and his mate is covering it up or if its just my ex having a crisis at 30 and wanting to retreat to being single and free but its broken my heart totally. I don't know how to process it as its always on my mind!

cjel Sun 29-Sep-13 21:51:21

Find someone in RL to let it all out to?xx

HorizontalRunningOnly Sun 29-Sep-13 22:02:08

I have but three weeks on people don't seem so interested, I don't have my mum as she passed away 4.5 years ago and my dad and sister just hates ex now and dont really wanna talk much either.

FarOverTheRainbow Sun 29-Sep-13 22:09:44

Aw men are such basturds sometimes! Why can't they just be man enough to explain if they wanna leave? It must be harder for you now having less people to talk too, you can't be over it in 3 weeks.

My XP is not happy I've said no to signing and has had a tantrum saying he wants his money then back tracked and offered me much much less then what half actually is and I'm just ignoring his messages. Ive told him no, I've had to much going on and he fucked my head so I haven't thought about it but I wang to go so I'm not signing anything at the minute

HorizontalRunningOnly Sun 29-Sep-13 22:23:06

Good for you! Make him wait / typical he's worrying about a holiday not where U and his daughter will live!! Yes men are indeed bastards - so weird how they change so quick. My rl friends are good and they are happy to listen but they are all in aug happy places with weddings for some and newborns and baby number 2s Etc that my lowly story tends to be a mood killer!!

Have u decided to pack up and move out or are I staying put to?

FarOverTheRainbow Sun 29-Sep-13 22:28:08

That must be hard for you to be around everyone else's happiness when your hurting so bad.

I'm moving. He told me I can stay and ill have to pay almost half extra of what we were paying so I'm going. I would rather his evil family didn't have that kinda hold over me either. It's been so painful sorting trough stuff today though hmm I hate feeling like this

FarOverTheRainbow Mon 30-Sep-13 07:46:33

Oh god. He kicked off. Come back and was going mad saying all I'm allowed to move out with is baby stuff and nothing else. angry

HorizontalRunningOnly Mon 30-Sep-13 07:48:01

Yes it's difficult when everyone else is so happy and I'm not, not that I'm wishing badness on them or anything. Surely my turn for good will come around??!!

Sounds like u are definitely best moving, don't want to be renting from his family, you would forever be worried they would move the goal posts! Sorting belongings etc is hard, so many memories but once uv done it u can start fresh. How's ur dd doing with it all? Is she old enough to know what's going on?

FarOverTheRainbow Mon 30-Sep-13 07:50:45

No of course not but its hard seeing everyone else loved up when your worlds upside down. Yeh your time has to come!

No thankfully she's almost 1 which is good she doesn't no but then makes me feel bad she's not going to grow up with mummy or daddy. I don't know how we're going to agree on me having anything. The tenancy is in my name and he said when I mce out he's taking it over

FarOverTheRainbow Mon 30-Sep-13 08:00:44

I'm so angry with how es behaving. How can he be like this? Expect me to start again with nothing when I've got his child and I put every penny I had into this place when we moved in. sad I miss the person I fall in LO e with

HorizontalRunningOnly Mon 30-Sep-13 08:24:27

Well make sure you take what's urs, he's having the house and the security of renting from a parent - if u bought the tv take the tv or washing machine or sofa etc. u can't be expected to start from scratch just u and ur dd.

I know what u mean I feel sad to that my ds although he has had happy times with his mummy and daddy he won't actually remember them as he is only 2.7. He is used to his dad being at work lot due to shifts so doesn't ask for him much although he did last night sad but was happy with 'daddy at work you see him in a few days, mummy and grandad are here tho' then he was fine to go back to sleep. Still got a lump in my throat look at his little face!

God yes me to!! Where is the man I love and met 5 years ago full of fun and happiness - now I get a mardy moody arse! No word from him since Friday when he said he had no maintenance money for his son! Not a txt 'how's ds?' Nowt!! Hope ur ex is going to be readable about ur dd - she's so young she will accept all the changes quickly in sure. X

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 30-Sep-13 08:32:48

"He kicked off. Come back and was going mad saying all I'm allowed to move out with is baby stuff and nothing else."

Sadly, this is the man you fell in love with. All you had to do was stand up to him and you've got the real him there in front of you... unreasonable, aggressive, arrogant. A BULLY

Please don't be bullied into moving out. You are fully entitled to stay in your home as long as you wish because you are the named tenant. Call anyone who sends you bills, explain the situation and see what you can negotiate.

FarOverTheRainbow Mon 30-Sep-13 18:36:38

Argh been a dramatic day. Got legal advice and it's all a lot to take in. He wants to come round tomorrow and talk about who's having what but after what the legal people told me today I'm sure I'll even be moving out.

I've only ever wanted a quite life

HorizontalRunningOnly Mon 30-Sep-13 20:26:34

Good on you for getting advice dont let him force you in to anything. Hope your doing ok x

FarOverTheRainbow Mon 30-Sep-13 20:28:47

I'm more confused then ever now. I need to try and think if I can stay in the house or will it be best if I move in now. Not sure.

I've only cried once today so that's an improvement ib yesturday

HorizontalRunningOnly Mon 30-Sep-13 20:38:23

Well if u are entitled to stay maybe do that for the shorter time so u can think what u want to do. He definitely can just make u up an leave he shouldn't have let you be the sole names tenant. On the flip if u would rather have a clean fresh start that's ok to but again don't just leave all ur belongings esp if u bought it all! It's tough I know iv had a good day today but he next few days I will see ex as I'm working so he has ds - likely to make me cry!

FarOverTheRainbow Mon 30-Sep-13 21:30:30

I would rather havea clean fresh start but by the sounds of it I might get that by staying here for the next 2m anyway then what I would do if I left and went to my mums.

I hope you don't cry horizontal, I know how much easier it's said to en done. thanks

HorizontalRunningOnly Mon 30-Sep-13 22:11:12

Good for you - stuck it out and don't let him bully you tomorrow!

Yes hopefully no crying - if he's nice to me it seems to start me off so maybe he'll just be rude and mean! Ergh!!

I hope tomorrow goes well for you to - see you on the other side! thanks

FarOverTheRainbow Tue 01-Oct-13 09:05:02

It's harder when there nice and you realise what you've lost. I hope all goes well for you today xx

cjel Tue 01-Oct-13 09:38:46

thanks FAR, yes it is hard when you see glimpses of how they should be it can make you wobble, but hang in there that isn't the reality of how they aresmile
How are you this morning?x

HorizontalRunningOnly Tue 01-Oct-13 10:54:02

No chances of me forgetting he's an idiot today - he forgot he was having his son this morning so didn't turn up - didn't even twig when I rung him I had to spell it out!!! No apology nothing just attitude and hten silence!!shock

Hope things go ok with ur ex today FAR, I hope he can be a bit more rational about things.

FarOverTheRainbow Tue 01-Oct-13 13:21:18

shock He just forgot he was looking after his son? Shouldn't he be looking forward to see'ing him so know exactly what's happening?? That's a joke!

Things were okay I supose, we agreed on who can have what and I'm going to be staying in the house for a couple of months but its horrible see'ing him and feeling upset and wanting his comfort. So many mixed emotions hmm

HorizontalRunningOnly Tue 01-Oct-13 20:37:28

Yes I know total joke isn't it!! Not even a grovelling apology or anything I just dont understand why he's being so mean. He was never his mean before or rude to me!! Apparently he be here tomo to have him while I go to work!

Ah glad it went a bit better then u though then less attitude from him, good that you don't have to move at least for the short term. I know what you mean your partner is who u go to for comfort so when its them thats the cause of the pain its so much more difficult! Once the belongings are divided it will be better and u can try and get in to a new routine hopefully.

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