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So he said this......

(33 Posts)
GarlicBreath Fri 20-Sep-13 17:51:46

Been dating a man for just a month, went to his house last night, as I arrived he leaned in for a kiss and said "have you been eating garlic?"
My best mate said I should have laughed it off and I did try but felt gutted and like shit, he tried to get a bit frisky later and I just couldn't as all I could think about was my stinky garlic breath.
I was really pissed off and told him, he apologized but said I was too sensitive.
How would others feel?

Hassled Fri 20-Sep-13 17:57:41

I can see it was awkward and embarrassing, but I don't think you should be feeling pissed off. He probably regretted saying it as soon as it came out of his mouth - and if he tried to get frisky later it clearly wasn't too much of an issue. If he'd said "Bloody hell your breath stinks" then you could be pissed off.

Hassled Fri 20-Sep-13 17:58:05

Or are you pissed off because you hadn't been eating garlic?

justmuddlingalong Fri 20-Sep-13 17:58:11

Had you been eating garlic?

FrancescaBell Fri 20-Sep-13 18:02:35

Oh dear. The trouble with this is that if I'd only been dating someone a month and was repelled by their breath, it would really put me off. Difference is I wouldn't have wanted to 'get frisky' later on, so can only assume it wasn't that repellent!

Don't like the 'you're too sensitive' comment though. He wasn't actually enquiring whether you'd been eating garlic, he was telling you he could smell it and that he found it off-putting. It's hard not to feel a bit hurt and embarrassed by that after all.

maras2 Fri 20-Sep-13 18:22:23

Cheeky fucker.Bin him,it'll only get worse.What a pig.

Really? I say that kind of thing all the time.

Sparklysilversequins Fri 20-Sep-13 18:50:21

I wouldn't bother seeing him again.

I wouldn't say it to someone and I don't want it said to me thanks, unless they know me well.

^Especially* as he tried it on later. Why say it if it wasn't bad enough to prevent him from wanting a shag later.

Sparklysilversequins Fri 20-Sep-13 18:51:21

Do you say it to people you don't know very well Euphemism?

Apocalypto Fri 20-Sep-13 18:51:50

Agree, bin. At this stage of things he should be on his best behaviour. If this is his best behaviour it's not good enough.

Remember that if someone you're with is rude to waiters, cleaners or Starbucks assistants, sooner or later they'll be like that towards you.

stowsettler Fri 20-Sep-13 18:56:20

Blimey people can be a bit touchy on here! Perhaps not the most tactful thing to say but probably not a reason to bin him (not yet, anyway).

I think his comment that you're 'too sensitive' was probably meant to reassure in a light-hearted sort of way.

I'd try again and make sure I had a few mints in my bag. Mind you, I eat a LOT of garlic so it's a regular problem for me blush

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Fri 20-Sep-13 18:59:58

I can't see the problem. I also can't understand that there is the suggestion of binning him over this.
He asked you a straight forward question, if you're close enough to kiss surely you're close enough for him to ask this question?
You are over sensitive OP.

FrancescaBell Fri 20-Sep-13 19:21:14

Thinking on this, I have to admit that if I found myself saying what he did after only a month, I'd know I just wasn't that into him and the whole thing was doomed. If you do bin him, I think it might be a case of you doing his dirty work for him.

Teeb Fri 20-Sep-13 19:28:30

Are you very thorough in your oral hygiene?

Yougotbale Fri 20-Sep-13 19:30:10

Had you been eating garlic? And how often do you see him? Probably you are being a bit sensitive

Shapechanger Fri 20-Sep-13 19:30:31

It's rude but it might be nerves. Whatever, this doesn't sound like a match made in heaven.

No, I say 'you reek' to people I don't know so well.

Not really, yes I can see how - as you had just arrived and that was one of the first things he said- that would piss me off.

Either he is not that into you sad
Or he's a stickler for oral hygiene :/
Or your breath smells terrible ;)

That was a joke btw I don't think your breath smells.

honeybunny14 Fri 20-Sep-13 19:35:38

I would feel a bit awkward even more so if id only been seeing him a month think hes rude tbh

Yougotbale Fri 20-Sep-13 19:39:14

You do instantly assume that eating garlic is a negative, rather than an observation. Maybe your views of eating garlic and his are very different

GarlicBreath Fri 20-Sep-13 20:27:28

Yougotbale, that's what he said, our views are very different, I have two adult daughters and had a chat with them about this today, they both said that after only 4 weeks they would be gutted too.
I'm 46 and have never been asked this before so hopefully I don't have a serious problem and it was a one off x

poppingin1 Fri 20-Sep-13 20:32:03

Maybe he just feels very comfortable with you?

i wouldn't write him off just yet, it might just be that he already thinks you are familiar enough to talk to each other that way.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Fri 20-Sep-13 20:45:09

I would've been hurt by that too and probably wouldn't want to kiss him later on either, but then I am quite sensitive! You're entitled to be. Doesn't seem to have much tact does he?

Shapechanger Sat 21-Sep-13 00:51:06

Had you actually been eating garlic?

If you hadn't, then you might have a problem wink

If you had, then I wonder why you ate garlic before a hot date. Some people really don't like the smell and it lingers. Maybe you weren't that into him anyway.

SundaysGirl Sat 21-Sep-13 01:32:06

Really? So had you been eating garlic or not?

If you had then your breath probably smelt like garlic. Instead of freaking out and saying how disappointed and gutted you were, you do realise you could have just gone 'oh right, Yea I had garlic earlier, probably made my breath a bit garlic-y. I'll just go floss and brush my teeth'.

End of. If this was the scenario I am baffled by the takl of feeling 'gutted'. You eat garlic, your breath smells like it. He didn't say (from your post) 'jesus you utter reeking weirdo have you downed a pint of the best garlic-juice in the world, you utter freak' did he? He just asked if you had eaten garlic. Fucking hell. If you had then, um, yea your breath will smell like garlic!

Ahem.

If you had NOT eaten it and there is no way you could have smelled that way I would be a lot more cautious about someone saying that to me.

Bogeyface Sat 21-Sep-13 01:36:32

I am the sort of person who would say to someone I knew well (and given that you have had sex, I would put him in that category!) "Blimey, you had garlic?!" When an ex BF I had a brief thing with years ago stank of it, I asked him if he had any and I had a nibble on a tiny bit.....problem solved!

Its a bit 6 of one, half a dozen of the other. He was a bit insensitive, but perhaps he feels close enough to you to say things like that and you were a bit over sensitive.

Bogeyface Sat 21-Sep-13 01:37:25

I have to agree that "gutted" is over doing it a bit, offer to make him some garlic bread and everyone is ok.

springybuffy Sat 21-Sep-13 02:07:23

I once ate so much garlic that an old lady at my parents' church had to sit down because she came over all faint with the fumes.

I can't honestly see what is wrong with this. You've been seeing him a month, so you've got to know one another a bit by now. So what if you smelt of garlic? So what? He couldn't care less.

However, you have not confirmed whether you had been eating garlic

If you hadn't, then I can see why you would be gutted. But not if you had been eating garlic.

can't quite see why you were gutted

CairngormsClydesdale Sat 21-Sep-13 04:13:32

If I know someone well enough to be physically intimate with them - e.g., have their tongue or penis in my mouth - I'm usually OK to say "gosh, you honk!". But maybe I'm old-fashioned.

CairngormsClydesdale Sat 21-Sep-13 04:15:12

Honestly, your reaction was bizarre. hmm Relationships are built on communication, honesty, openness and trust - "garlic breath" is rarely cited on divorce papers.

DrHolmes Sat 21-Sep-13 09:11:05

OP - Had you eaten garlic?

Xenadog Sat 21-Sep-13 09:19:36

Either he said it rudely or just asked the question because he felt comfortable enough with you to do so. If it bothered you that much then I wouldn't see him again as clearly it's hit a nerve and after a month life is too short to be wondering and worrying about a throw away comment. If it had been me I would have laughed and said yes I have.

LondonNinja Sat 21-Sep-13 10:20:24

OP, you do need to tell us if you had been eating garlic!

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