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DP attacked me, think I have consussion.

(190 Posts)
MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 16-Sep-13 11:55:13

He's downstairs playing GTA, refused to drive me to A&E.

Feeling really sick. Head is thumping and am really dizzy. Can't stop crying.

He grabbed the hair at the roots on the top of my head and shook really hard.

I want to go to sleep but am scared I'll die.


What do I do? Should I just beg him to help me?

Thesimplethings Mon 16-Sep-13 11:56:11

Call the police

MaryPoppinsBag Mon 16-Sep-13 11:56:24

Do you have someone you can call to take you.

shouldistayorshouldagonooooooo Mon 16-Sep-13 11:56:37

Phone the police.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 11:57:05

Get out and call the police. Or an ambulance.

Jesus, you need to ask?

He's assaulted you. Just call the police.

So sorry you're going through this.

rosiedays Mon 16-Sep-13 11:57:08

999 don't waste time on here

colafrosties Mon 16-Sep-13 11:57:09

Phone an ambulance

Don't beg, if he wanted to help you and was genuinely remorseful he'd be sitting in A&E with you now. Call the police. sad

Leverette Mon 16-Sep-13 11:58:49

What??? Mrs RK do you have a phone with you?

If not, open the bedroom window and shout as loud as you can that you have been attacked and need the police NOW.

Can you lock the bedroom door or put something in front of it to slow down your p getting in.

LumpySpace Mon 16-Sep-13 11:59:34

Call the police! Now!

Call the police lovely.

Big hugs x

LurcioLovesFrankie Mon 16-Sep-13 12:01:21


Do not succumb to the urge to go to sleep - if you have got concussion that could be extremely dangerous.

nicename Mon 16-Sep-13 12:01:45

Probably not concussion - it is usually (I think) caused by a hefty bang to the head and makes you headachey and vomity.

Get to A&E if you are worried. Can someone go with you or take you there?

police now. seriously.

StupidMistakes Mon 16-Sep-13 12:02:50

Straight to a n e or doctors and tell them the truth. Ask for help there.

keepcalmandkickon Mon 16-Sep-13 12:03:57

Regardless of whether it is concussion or not, you need to call the police and get help now. You have been attacked in your own home and need to make sure you are safe.

Do you have a phone?

Is there anyone in real life who could come and pick you up?

Do you have children?

Call the police NOW, you are not safe at the moment.

CinnamonAddict Mon 16-Sep-13 12:04:11

Call an ambulance. Tell them you're in the bedroom and your p attacked you. Please! Don't go to sleep!
Don't beg him to help you.

PatriciaHolm Mon 16-Sep-13 12:04:14

999, now. you need an ambulance, and police. You have been assaulted.

AllThatGlistens Mon 16-Sep-13 12:04:21

Hospital and police. Please, please pick up the phone.

999 for ambulance Mrs. sad

Get on with it, we''ll see you when you get back.

Justshabbynochic Mon 16-Sep-13 12:05:46

Hand-holding. Please ring the police, you need help.

OliviaPope Mon 16-Sep-13 12:05:49

Call police and woman's aid straight away - you need to be checked out and have a safe place to live. Please update us, i'm worried about you x

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Mon 16-Sep-13 12:06:12

999 now!!!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 12:09:16

MrsRK are you alright?

Have spoken to you on past threads. Hope you're ok.

headsspinningforachange Mon 16-Sep-13 12:11:02

MrsRajesh I hope you are ok , please update & let us know how you are flowers

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 16-Sep-13 12:13:25

Ring 999 for ambulance. Tell them you have been attacked, are feeling sick and dizzy and the attacker is still in the house. Ambulance will come but will send police in first to deal with 'D'P.

Do it now!

VoiceOfRaisin Mon 16-Sep-13 12:16:49

If you don't have a phone, PM several of us your address (sorry not me as I don't really know how to do them) and we will call the police and ambulance for you.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 16-Sep-13 12:17:48

I got a taxi to local Minor Injuries.

Your posts are making me cry.

I feel awful. Head is killing me.

Lots of other people waiting so not alone.

GeekLove Mon 16-Sep-13 12:17:52

Please get this seen to ASAP. He has committed a criminal offence and assaulted you and therefore cannot be trusted around you and any children present.

RhondaJean Mon 16-Sep-13 12:18:02

Oh bloody hell. If you are shouting out of the window, shout fire, not help, but please let us know you are okay as soon as you can.

RhondaJean Mon 16-Sep-13 12:18:48

Oh phew.

VivaLeThrustBadger Mon 16-Sep-13 12:21:58

What did he say when you left? Does he know where you've gone? Can you ring a friend to be with you?

captainmummy Mon 16-Sep-13 12:22:06

Well done MrsRK - get it all on file! If they ask (and they will) tell them what happened! At the very Least it will be on record.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 12:23:53

Glad someone is with you.

Please let us know how you area and what happens.

Big unMN hugs. flowers

keepcalmandkickon Mon 16-Sep-13 12:24:41

Well done for getting to the doctors!! Make sure you tell them what has happened and they record it. You have been amazingly brave and can do this!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 16-Sep-13 12:25:14

Don't have anyone to call.

My local friends ditched me when I had a nervous breakdown last year.

Other friends are miles away.

wifey6 Mon 16-Sep-13 12:25:18

Massive hugs MrsRK. You've done the right thing going to hospital, for your own safety & this incident will now be on file.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 12:29:16

Oh sorry MrsRK o thought you meant you had people with you.

Where are you?

Gruntfuttock Mon 16-Sep-13 12:30:16

You have told them at the hospital exactly what happened, haven't you? I really think the police need to be involved, for your own protection. It's important. I am so sorry that this has happened to you.

If you're local to me I will leave the kids with DP and come and sit with you if you are. I am in the Solihull area.

IslaValargeone Mon 16-Sep-13 12:31:16

Where do you live Mrs. Raj?
There is bound to be a MNetter who can come and be with you.

IslaValargeone Mon 16-Sep-13 12:31:36

I'm in Lancs btw.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 12:32:00

I'm in Suffolk.

PopiusTartius Mon 16-Sep-13 12:33:49

Please tell them what happened. Don't put up with this. You could have a better life x

NeopreneMermaid Mon 16-Sep-13 12:34:02

You must tell the medical staff exactly what happened. This thug must not be in your house ever again.

IslaValargeone Mon 16-Sep-13 12:34:48

Just checked her profile, she's in the West Country if anyone is around?

EldritchCleavage Mon 16-Sep-13 12:35:07

Oh Mrs.RK. I'm so sorry.

Courage, my dear. And ring one of those friends from miles away and just talk while you wait. Even if you don't tell them what happened, just talk to someone who cares about you and take strength from that.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 16-Sep-13 12:37:07

Can you call or email Women's Aid before you leave? 0808 2000 247

MrsR if you are at RUH I can come and wait with you. You do not deserve this

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 12:41:11

How are you MrsRK?

So sorry to hear this, hope you feel better soon and are able to get the help you need to walk away from this situation.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 16-Sep-13 12:53:23

I'm still waiting.

Battery low.

Really sleepy...!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 16-Sep-13 12:59:17

There's a bloke here who hammered a nail through two of his fingers.

HotCrossPun Mon 16-Sep-13 12:59:57

MrsRK - I'm so sorry this has happened. One thing at a time, get your injuries seen to and the hospital can call the police for you. Id you don't have anybody near by that can support you I'm sure a local MNner would.

We are all here for you if you need to talk x

Poor you. Please tell the doctor what happened.

Faverolles Mon 16-Sep-13 13:03:49

MrsRaj, I'm really sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself xx

YoniMatopoeia Mon 16-Sep-13 13:03:59

Please be honest with them about how you were injured (assaulted)

Leverette Mon 16-Sep-13 13:07:19

Mrs RK, MIU in your town are good but there's a chance they might want to transfer you to RUH ED for observation, considering you're so sleepy.

Please be open with whoever assesses you about DV - they are trained to support you in accessing help xx

LurcioLovesFrankie Mon 16-Sep-13 13:08:18

If you're in the RD&E, let me know! I am local to there.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 13:08:54

How's the bloke with the nail? grin

Do you want someone to come and sit with you? If you say which hospital you're in I'm sure someone will be around. Don't sit there on your own when there's probably hundreds of MNetters about. I'd come but I think you're the other side of the country to me!

VoiceOfRaisin Mon 16-Sep-13 13:14:31

Well done for getting yourself to some medical care. I hope you feel better soon. I agree about contacting Women's Aid and telling the police about what happened. Keep yourself safe. Do you have DC? Are they at school today? If so, can you be at pick up or should you alert the school?

Big hugs

AvonCallingBarksdale Mon 16-Sep-13 13:17:06

Gosh, I recognise you from lots of threads. You're in the right place now. Did you tell DP where you were going? Are you safe to return to your home?

Vagazzled Mon 16-Sep-13 13:21:53

I'm in the West Country, can I help? You can PM me where you are. I'm South West Devon.

MrsR - I'm near you, as you know. Am PMing you my mobile number. Other than a school pick up at 3ish I am free - please, please let me know if I can do anything.

JakeBullet Mon 16-Sep-13 13:41:52

Please please contact Women's can go I to a Refuge today if you want to and they will help you from there.

Hope you are okay....get the MIU to log this and ensure you tell them what he has done.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 14:01:45

I have to go out now but will be back in a little while.

AnotherStitchInTime Mon 16-Sep-13 14:27:01

Oh Mrs, I hope you are ok and the staff at the MIU are taking good care of you.

Please do not minimise what has happened to you when talking to them.

GeekLove Mon 16-Sep-13 14:45:07

If you get any wobbles about prosecuting then please read this thread, particuarly if you forget any details due to the concussion.

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 15:30:14

So sorry. sad

I'm glad you're seeking help.

Please do tell the nurse/doctor how you got injured and do call the police. Hopefully, they'll arrest him.

Take care and please do not go back to your home. Ring WA as a matter of urgency to find a refuge place.
Stay with family or friends, or even a hotel, if he's not taken away.

Stay safe.

JustBecauseICan Mon 16-Sep-13 15:33:28

Good lord.

Sending love and strength from here as well, Mrs R.

(your Id always makes me smile)

We'll be here to talk about what happens next when you are feeling up to it. xx

MrsWolowitz Mon 16-Sep-13 15:36:33

How are you?

Where are you.

Do not go home. Call the police. Please.

PrincessKildare Mon 16-Sep-13 15:38:43

Im so sorry you are in this position. Please call the police. do not go home alone. that Thug is clearly dangerous. i hooe u are ok.

LeGavrOrf Mon 16-Sep-13 15:41:29

Bloody hell Rajesh. I hope you're ok. What a horrible thing to happen.

If you are in the West Country I am in Gloucester if that's near you.

Another voice saying please don't go home.

I've sent you my number. You are more than welcome here - we can charge your phone, I have free calls if you need credit etc on yours, or I'm happy to meet you somewhere if you'd like to use it.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 15:51:46

How's it going? Are you ok? Have you been seen by anyone yet?

absentmindeddooooodles Mon 16-Sep-13 15:55:33

How are you? Have you spoken to anyone? If you are anywhere near me let me know if I can help in any way at all. Even if its just coming to sit there x

MrsPeeWee Mon 16-Sep-13 16:01:26

Please don't go home to him. Tell the doctors what happened, tell them you can't go home. I hope you're OK. MN Hug

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 16-Sep-13 16:08:49

I'm hope. DP's upstairs. He's gutted. Proper gutted. I'm not in danger but we're staying out of each other's way.

He lost his temper. That's why he flipped. Don't know what's going to happen. Just going to get through the day.

Thank you so much for all of the support and stuff.
Means a lot to me!

Have concussion. Resting on sofa with my cat. Might phone for a Dominos.

Pawprint Mon 16-Sep-13 16:11:51

I would call an ambulance, tbh. Head injuries can be serious. Bastard man angry

nicename Mon 16-Sep-13 16:12:59

Losing your temper is no excuse. It must have been bloody hard yank to give you concussion - I had it once and it was such a hard crash that I was bleeding all over the place and really thought my skull was cracked.

What do you want? To leave/him leave/him get help/attend Relate together...?

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 16:13:26

He lost his temper. That's why he flipped.

And you'll be at the mercy of his next loss of temper.

Except that now (more than usual?) you'll be walking on egg shells.
You'll be afraid of the next confrontation.
He'll know you won't call the police.

Have you told him at least what will happen should he lose his temper of flip next time?

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 16:14:09

attend Relate together

Sorry, but bad idea.

captainmummy Mon 16-Sep-13 16:14:47

He's gutted ??? Is that why he didn't phone an ambulance or take you to A&E? Cos he was so gutted?

He's gutted he might get arrested, is what he is. And he should be.

Vivacia Mon 16-Sep-13 16:15:03

I would call an ambulance, tbh.


Leverette Mon 16-Sep-13 16:15:31

I'm sorry to hear he's still there. He has given you a head injury sad

What do you think you'll do?

MrsDeVere Mon 16-Sep-13 16:15:37


Did he come and pick you up from the hospital then?
Has he volunteered to leave the house?

Me and OH lose our tempers sometimes. In 24 years he has yet to get me by the hair and shake me to the point of concussion.

You are minimising. This is understandable but its not going to help.

Hopefully some experienced and knowledgeable MNers can come and give you advice.

Vivacia Mon 16-Sep-13 16:16:59

You are minimising.

This. He needs to leave the house.

RollerCola Mon 16-Sep-13 16:17:13

Op I'm worried about you. You're living with a man who has shaken you so hard that he's given you concussion. He could have actually killed you.

Has he been violent to you before? Do you have any children? You CAN leave him you know. Whatever your circumstances it can be done. We'll help you do it. Can you tell us any more?

CinnamonAddict Mon 16-Sep-13 16:18:19

You know you have to leave him, don't you?

Don't try and figure out why he did it. He was physically violent and then refused to get medical help.

He's only gutted until he loses his temper again. What will he do to you next time?

JustBecauseICan Mon 16-Sep-13 16:18:52

Oh dear.

I really hope you are going to listen to all the advice you are going to get on this MrsR and you being a "loved and well known" MNer isn't going to colour things.

Gutted? He shouldn't be sitting downstairs gutted. He should be giving a fucking statement to the plod. And then packing.

JenaiMorris Mon 16-Sep-13 16:19:06

Bloody hell, MrsR.

Have you reported him? How were they at the hospital? I'd offer practical support but realistically, I'm not in a position to do much timewise. Do keep me in mind though - If I can help then I will - feel free to PM. Don't be afraid to ask - I'm very good at saying "no" if something is going to be too difficult so don't worry about imposing (iykwim).

CinnamonAddict Mon 16-Sep-13 16:19:31

And by leaving him I mean he has to go.

JustBecauseICan Mon 16-Sep-13 16:20:25

Gutted and feeling sorry for himself is a standard reaction I believe from violent fuckwits. Turns into all onto you, y'see.

Has he said yet that you pushed him to it? He will.

I'm going to stfu now for a bit and let you get some rest. x

piratecat Mon 16-Sep-13 16:20:54

hiya, I'm in the West country, if you want any help, but it's a big area.

topicsactiveimon Mon 16-Sep-13 16:21:09

Sending lots of strength, MrsRK. But you need to file a police report. I'm so sorry this has happened, but it will get worse and worse. And you need to have this on record. Anyone can have a breakdown if being abused in their own home. Please take the very best care of yourself.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 16-Sep-13 16:21:55

What did the hospital say, MrsR? Surely you shouldn't be alone overnight if you have concussion? (I'm saying alone because I'm discounting the twat who asaulted you).

My dear, life does not need be this way, you do not need to be with someone who you fear or you have to walk on eggshells with. You deserve better. Please remember this and have the courage to walk away, this will happen again. You can do this {hugs}

MummyPig24 Mon 16-Sep-13 16:23:59

Mrs RK how are you feeling now? I can't believe your husband has treated you this way. Did you tell the hospital what happened? Please don't stay with him.

BarbarianMum Mon 16-Sep-13 16:24:21

He's not gutted he's worried. Worried that you're not going to put up with this.

You can lose your temper without assaulting someone.

I'm worried you are going to put up with this, and that he'll have to hurt you many, many more times til you can't take it any more.

Please OP, if your boss, or the man serving you in a shop, or a man down the pub did this to you you wouldn't just pretend it had never happened. This man is your partner and meant to love and protect you. What's happened is such a huge violation of that.

Please either get yourself out of the house or, if you are strong enough, get the police to remove him. Give yourself a chance to decide what to do next (you sound like you are in shock to me). sad

DameFanny Mon 16-Sep-13 16:24:30

Oh Mrs RK, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Who's going to monitor you for the next 24 hours? Did you tell the MIU how you got the concussion?

And what everyone else says - please please please don't minimise this. You've been given a temporary brain injury by someone who's supposed to love you and look after you. Losing his temper will never be any kind of reason let alone an excuse for this.

And next time it could be so much worse.

And you would be very much missed on here...

nicename Mon 16-Sep-13 16:25:34

Please tell your family. People around you need to be aware. It will worry the hell out of them, but they would really rather know.

Oh MrsR I'm sorry this has happened to you sad

Please think about your last post, first and foremost you posted about how HE is feeling about it. How are YOU feeling?

Tiredtrout Mon 16-Sep-13 16:38:45

So gutted he continued playing his game, please call women's aid or the police, look after yourself, you will be tearful for a few days from the concussion

RibenaFiend Mon 16-Sep-13 16:40:22

MrsRK what did you tell the staff at the MIU? Did you tell them the truth, did you sugar coat the truth or did you avoid the truth?

I speak as a child from a DV household there my mum had a surprising number of head bumps from accidentally falling over, or bumping heads with me...

MrsK, this is the man who sat downstairs playing a violent computer game shortly after assaulting you, who refused to take you to get medical help. He's really not gutted. I sincerely hope you've reported this incident and that you get advice on leaving. I'm in North Yorkshire, if I can help please PM me.

AnyFucker Mon 16-Sep-13 16:42:41

What he did to you would have killed a child, and could have killed you.

He has done similar things before hasn't he, love ?

NeopreneMermaid Mon 16-Sep-13 16:49:58

The first time he hurts you is the last time. Get him out of your house NOW.

sisterofmercy Mon 16-Sep-13 16:58:38

I am wondering if you have any family or social pressures on you that force you to stay? There have been many women in that position over the years and there will be people who know what you are going though when you ask for support.

Call Women's Aid, Mrs RK. They can help you no matter who you are and what you've been through, even if it's just to provide a friendly voice.

LeaningTowerOfGaffney Mon 16-Sep-13 17:09:55

Oh you poor thing. Sending you hugs.

VeeAndTea Mon 16-Sep-13 17:19:04

Jesus, you poor love. There is no excuse for his behaviour, there is no apology big enough. Please call WA.

LeGavrOrf Mon 16-Sep-13 17:22:30

Oh Rajesh. He is not gutted. If he was gutted by his actions he wouldn't have played a bloody playstation whilst you were crying and frightened upstairs wondering what to do.

There is no excuse for what he has done to you. A rip roaring row with shouting and cursing is one thing, grabbing and shaking you like a Jack Russell with a rat is something different entirely. You can't spend your life waking on eggshells around this twat in case he loses his temper again.

I know you're in pain and completely overwhelmed probably, but please when you are better physically don't forget how frightened and alone you were today. You deserve a lot better than this.

Chubfuddler Mon 16-Sep-13 17:26:48

This isn't the first time is it? I'd bet the farm it isn't.

Wiltshire police are brilliant at this sort of thing, as are SS believe it or not (if thsts where you are). They will help you, they will believe you. They will help you get an occupation order.

You're not safe near him.

ShepherdsPurse Mon 16-Sep-13 17:27:51

So Gutted that he let you take a cab to the hospital?? Whilst he played GTA or whatever that is.
If he is still in your house, best of luck for the next time.

MrsPeeWee Mon 16-Sep-13 17:39:11

He wasn't gutted enough to take you to the hospital though? You need to get out of there, or kick him out of the house. If he hasn't done this before, he will certainly do it again. Please don't use "He lost his temper" as a way to excuse his behaviour - that isn't an excuse! Thinking of you.

AvonCallingBarksdale Mon 16-Sep-13 18:21:59

Oh, dear. He may well be gutted now because he's probably panicking that he might get found out. What did you tell them at the hospital? I'm wondering if you might be trying to convince yourself that he's not really that bad? Do you have any family/friend support nearby? Do you have DC? Keep an eye out for any symptoms tonight - concussion can last a while. Hope you come back to the thread.

EldritchCleavage Mon 16-Sep-13 18:31:40

Well, he has expiated his anger by taking it out on you, so it is easy for him to be 'gutted' and kind and whatever. Where do your feelings go, OP?

Offred Mon 16-Sep-13 18:33:02

Agree with everyone else.

He isn't gutted about anything that should matter to you; basically his behaviour in shaking you.

If he is gutted it is that you got a concussion and that means might get found out or thinks he went too far.

Please call women's aid and think about calling the police. They will likely not come straight out because you're not in immediate danger but they should send a specialist dv officer to talk to you at a pre-arranged time.

Hissy Mon 16-Sep-13 18:34:01

Please go to your GP tomorrow. Please tell him/her what happened.

Please call 101 and report it, please call WA to get RL support.

Please tell him he has to go.

Fenton Mon 16-Sep-13 18:42:04

There is no reason or apology on this earth good enough to excuse an act like that.

'Just going to get through today'

what happens tomorrow?

You poor love, this is horrible.

You need to look after yourself MrsRK, and the best way to do that would be to get away from this abusive man for a start. As others have said, please call WA or the police.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 18:49:19

Are you safe? Remember that this person injured you and then played a bloody computer game instead of getting you assistance.

Please never forget that he did that.

If you need help to get out, it's there for you.


LIZS Mon 16-Sep-13 18:51:45

He's gutted because he know he has crossed a line and laid himself open to all. He doesn't give a toss about you in all this , it is about him. What if eh gets angry again , next time it could so easily be much, much worse. Please seek RL help asap, there are organisations and professional who can and will assist and protect you.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 18:52:19

sorry, that's really poorly worded. I just mean to say how very callous it was and to not let go of the coldness and callousness of the whole thing. beat you, injure you, refuse to get help for you, play a computer game.

chuck some 'remorse' at you after you have got yourself some help. I wonder if the 'remorse' is more fear about what you might have said while you were at the hospital.

MrsRK I know you said all your friends are far away but it doesn't mean that you aren't supported and you have to stay in this situation.

You really do deserve better. He did not do this because he was angry. Does he do it to others he's angry with?

And to echo everyone else, even if which I sincerely doubt as it usually starts with a push or shove this is the first time I'm really sorry but with no consequences there will be a next.

At the very least you should log it with the police, find out information about your nearest freedom programme and ask him to leave and attend a specialist DV perpetrator course - which are not anger management courses they are for people who are abusive and violent.

MadBusLady Mon 16-Sep-13 19:02:57

Oh MrsRaj sad You're a lovely funny poster. I can't believe I'm reading this about a regular.

Please call the police. If he can do this to you why not the DC?

FrigginRexManningDay Mon 16-Sep-13 19:37:06

Darling this isn't the first time he's hurt you,I'll bet you are well used to his aggressiveness,in his words,actions and physically. He can sit downstairs and play a violent computer game whilst you are upstairs with a head injury begging to go to A and E. That's a very worrying thing indeed and I am not being overly dramatic when I say that another row could end up with him killing you.

Go. Pack your bags and go. Turn up at the police station if you have to,just get away. Do not protect him.

Xales Mon 16-Sep-13 19:41:29

You cannot stay with a man who assaulted you so violently he gave you concussion and then sat playing a video game refusing to take you to hospital.

He is only sorry because it is now on record. Hopefully it is because you told the truth.

No wonder you had a breakdown last year with a partner like this.

Get a way and get a new life.

You did not tell the hospital what really happened. That is why he is still there, and not been arrested. Am I right in thinking you are covering for him?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 20:09:09

How are you MrsRK?

All these posters have got your best interests at heart. You've probably read enough threads on here to know that the advice is usually fairly sound in these cases. A lot of these women speak from personal experience, unfortunately. You know it won't end well. You have to do whatever you want to do but you know you'll never be able to trust this man to have your best interest at heart anymore.

All the women that leave their partners say how horrible it is to start with. No-one ever comes back on here to say that they regretted it. Please remember that.

I hope you're ok. You've had an awful day and you probably need time to think about things. But please realise that things won't be the same again. They can't be. Do you want to live like that, with him, for the rest of your life?

Please look after yourself. And please talk to us. If you don't want to leave that's up to you, but we'll always be here.

LeGavrOrf Mon 16-Sep-13 20:46:08

I am sure your husband will be really, really nice for a while. And that fucks with your head and you start to think that what he did wasn't really that bad, perhaps you provoked him.

It is very, very difficult to not go down that road. It's a lot easier not to have to face up to the awful fact that you are in an abusive relationship.

There are loads of brilliant women on here who can help. I know that we are only a bunch of words on a screen and it's not the same as real life mates. You say that your friends have drifted off because you have been mentally ill recently. Is there anyone in RL who can help. Or let us know roughly where you live, and I am sure there is someone around who can help. I have had a crap time recently and it turned into real life support both in person and on the phone and it has really helped. Don't suffer alone.

Chubfuddler Mon 16-Sep-13 20:55:20

I wonder how much of your "mental illness" is due to walking on eggshells around your husband.

Quite a bit I should imagine.

And I bet consciously or unconsciously you've distanced yourself from people so they won't notice things are bad for you.

There is help out there and there is nothing for you to be ashamed of.

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 21:24:58

All the women that leave their partners say how horrible it is to start with. No-one ever comes back on here to say that they regretted it. Please remember that.


Not DV victims, definitely.

I think I'm nearby MrsRK and would make the transition from words on a screen to RL support so you aren't alone whatever you decide to do in the short term.

And I did not regret leaving in the short term, medium term or the long term. I only regret the 10 years blush it took me to get there.

Onebuddhaisnotenough Mon 16-Sep-13 21:34:08

Be braver than me OP. I didn't leave the first time or the second time or the time after that. You MUST go. You deserve so much better than this. There are many, many women on here who have lived through this and who are in a much better place now. Let us help you to escape this life

Secretswitch Mon 16-Sep-13 21:42:51

Honey, this man seriously injured you. He might have killed you. He cares not a whit about you. He is very afraid for himself. Head injuries can leave you disoriented and ill for a very long time. I know this, as I have been recovering from a " moderate" concussion for two months. You need rest, care and most of all safety.
I am thinking about you.

Am thinking of you tonight, MrsR.

Let us know how you're doing.

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 21:58:06

Well, I certainly only regretted the chances I gave exH, and not leaving earlier.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 16-Sep-13 22:00:00

Let us know how you're doing MrsRK. Start another thread if you don't want to reread all this.

I notice your bright and funny posts all the time, Mrs RK, am shocked this is happening to you. So sorry this has happened.

Keep us updated, you can see how many people care on here.

No good advice only that I hope you enjoy the Dominos wink

Ruprekt Mon 16-Sep-13 22:02:38


Shocked to read this.

Did the hospital ask you what happened? What did you tell them?

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Mon 16-Sep-13 22:41:12

I recognise you too mrsRK please take up one or more of the offers of RL help from posters here - they mean it - they care about you.
We all do, I'd be there if I was close by.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Mon 16-Sep-13 23:46:18

Thanks guys.

I'm okay. Feeling better and I'm with my animals and a hot water bottle.


No idea what I'm going to do. Too tired to think about it at the moment.

DP is working long hours for the next week so our paths won't really cross.

Really appreciate everyone's support.

What effect will working long hours have on his temper?

Look Op I've been married for 16 years this month to a man with a fiery temper. I'm not exactly a pushover myself. Nobody has ever got concussion. You don't have to have him in the house. Call the police.

Lweji Mon 16-Sep-13 23:55:00

Glad you are ok.

Just remember that when if when you decide to leave, it's the most dangerous time. Just do it, or have someone else with you.

If he is mostly away next week, that will be the best time to put an exit plan in practice.

You do need to leave. Perhaps not today or tomorrow, but it will happen again and again if you don't. You know it.

Gather as much help as you can get. WA, police, solicitor, family, even the friends you think you don't have anymore. The offers of help from here, and the board itself, of course.

Take care.

AnyFucker Tue 17-Sep-13 00:00:09

Has he hurt you before, op ?

cumfy Tue 17-Sep-13 01:52:49

Hope you're OK this morning.thanks

Time to reflect now he's out.

Don't let yourself feel trapped.

How would you be responding if this was another poster ?

VeeAndTea Tue 17-Sep-13 07:57:33

I agree with lweji, the fact that he will be away from you is the perfect time, but I do understand how hard it must be.

Has he hit you before, lovey?

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Tue 17-Sep-13 09:43:57

I'm okay this morning.

Bit tired. Couldn't really sleep last night.

Period started too so I have some nice tummy cramps to deal with.

Too mentally drained to really talk/think about it all.

Am spending the day under a blanket eating biscuits and chatting on MN about casual stuff. Just want to rest and chill out. I'll be able to think straight then.


Chubfuddler Tue 17-Sep-13 09:52:01

I completely understand where you are mentally because I've been there.

You know what you need to do. You just need to make yourself do it. It might take you an hour or it might take ten years but eventually you will do it, because you have to.

One life. That's all there is. Don't live it like this.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 17-Sep-13 09:55:28

So pleased to see you back on the thread, MrsR. Please look after yourself.

greenhill Tue 17-Sep-13 10:10:10

Just saw this mrsrk sad. Hope you get some rest today.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Tue 17-Sep-13 10:53:56

Glad you're feeling a bit better.

We're still here for you. smile

Leverette Tue 17-Sep-13 12:08:05

I hope you've got custard creams smile and lots of cups of tea. Sending my best wishes and a big hug.

Sending you a biscuit, but in a good way!

NeopreneMermaid Tue 17-Sep-13 18:09:38

How has today gone?

How are you getting on, MrsR?

Bogeyface Tue 17-Sep-13 23:58:27

You are worrying me a lot.

You have been attacked to the point of concussion which is very serious, yet you are acting like its all over and everything is fine. To show comparison, I was in a serious car accident (was hit by a lorry) where there were 6 different calls to emergency services as people thought we were dead/dying. I didnt get concussion (other injuries, but not that).

This isnt the first time this has happened is it? This isnt the first time he has cried and been "gutted" is it? I am worried that you are being abused on a regular basis, and not only physically.

I know you are a regular so please come back to this thread, we can help you. There are many ways you can escape this.

Chubfuddler Wed 18-Sep-13 09:44:26

I've seen you posting elsewhere on the site in the last day op so I think you've kissed and made up, and he's being sweetness and light. Until next time.

Please believe me that there will be a next time whatever he says, unless you leave him.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Wed 18-Sep-13 09:50:20

I'm okay.

Head is still 'swimmy'. Am really tired. Can really think straight.

Haven't said much to DP. Don't have the energy to think about it at the moment.

Spent yesterday snoozing and post on MN. Doing the same today.

JustBecauseICan Wed 18-Sep-13 09:51:51

Gonna have to deal with it at some point.

If you are still feeling the effects of this thumping, how bad does that make it huh?

Or is the swimmy head an excuse to not deal with it?

People are going to start getting hard with you now, you know....because we care. x

Chubfuddler Wed 18-Sep-13 09:53:13

I know you don't want to think about it. There's a mental leap to be made here and once you've made it, the rest will have to follow. I did a masterly line in cognitive dissonance for years.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stay safe and rest - when you are ready to talk we are here.

Lweji Wed 18-Sep-13 11:36:31

TBH, I don't think there's a lot to think about.

I was able to leave ex when I didn't think. I simply knew I could not put up with it again.
And I had to protect myself and DS.

Ask yourself if you want to be placed in the same position again.

You haven't given him an ultimatum, and he hasn't made up for what he did or even suggested counselling for himself, has he?

You know what you have to do. You just don't want to do it. sad

captainmummy Thu 19-Sep-13 11:06:40

Mrs RK - how are you today?

How are you?

WeAreSeven Fri 20-Sep-13 00:31:44

Oh, bloody hell, Mrs RK, this isn't right, you know that.
He will do it again.
You need to get out.

YoureBeingADick Fri 20-Sep-13 00:41:01


you need to not pretend this is all sorted. it's not- this is him- it's who he is and it's what he does- you don't have any control over who he is or what he does- you only have control over whether he does it to you.

take yourself out of this situation- at least for a few days until the swimmyness is gone and you have the energy to deal with it. you know you need to. it's hard to take that step but you must. you know that pet don't you?


buildingmycorestrength Mon 23-Sep-13 14:12:25

How are you, Mrs RK? You okay?

SugarMiceInTheRain Mon 23-Sep-13 14:18:50

Please don't ignore what he's done and brush it under the carpet Mrs RK. It's really, really not ok. Even if he goes back to being nice. :-(

kinkyfuckery Wed 25-Sep-13 11:43:48

How are things?

Did you tell Minor Injuries what happened?

Madratlady Wed 25-Sep-13 13:20:50

Is this the first time he's hurt you? Even if it is then he's 'got away with it' this time so he'll most likely do it again. He didn't show any remorse or even take you for the medical attention you needed.

I hope you find the strength to get out of there and tell the police, you have your injury on record now if you do decide to report it. He shouldn't be allowed to treat you like that.

JaneFonda Fri 04-Oct-13 20:08:07

OP, I was thinking of you today.

I hope you are okay and, like other posters have said, that you haven't just brushed this under the carpet.

Lweji Fri 04-Oct-13 21:36:58

Sadly, I think so.
There's at least a post on the 30th last month where she uses "DP".


Fingers crossed for her.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Fri 04-Oct-13 22:10:38

Yes, I'm okay.

Still feeling a bit shaken by the whole thing.

Just trying to get on with it.

Appreciate everyone being so nice.


WahIzzit Fri 04-Oct-13 22:23:56

Is this man who attacked you still living with you?

foolonthehill Fri 04-Oct-13 22:25:02

you should be shocked and shaken.
please look after yourself and consider how you could safely get out of there. I know it is difficult to comprehend or to cope with this but he can and probably will do this again.

Bogeyface Fri 04-Oct-13 22:27:59

So you are still with him, still playing nice and wont change anything?

Lweji Fri 04-Oct-13 22:31:57

And I presume you're still buying a house with him?

I would seriously reconsider it.

Bogeyface Fri 04-Oct-13 22:35:11

I know it is difficult to comprehend or to cope with this but he can and probably will do this again.

That ship has sailed. From the OP's reaction I would say that this isnt the first time and that she is used to minimising sad

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Fri 04-Oct-13 22:40:29

He's still here.

I hate him. Really hate him.

Just no idea what to do. Completely worn down.

foolonthehill Fri 04-Oct-13 22:47:47

Yes i know, I've been there.....

Can you phone women's aid? The number does not show up on a BT phone bill. They are experts at helping women to get out safely, and they will believe and support you.

foolonthehill Fri 04-Oct-13 22:50:06

it is not impossible to be just feels like it is. really you only have to do one small thing at a time.

First get some real life support:0808 2000 247

Use in private browsing and look here

Lweji Fri 04-Oct-13 22:56:23

When you leave you'll find it easier than living with a man who gives you concussions.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 04-Oct-13 22:56:44

Has he hurt you again?

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep Sat 05-Oct-13 09:02:04

Just talking to Women's Aid doesn't commit you to anything you know, but might help you to think things through. Sounds like you are short of RL support?

Have you reported it to the police?

Chubfuddler Sat 05-Oct-13 17:14:25

You do know what you need to do op. You need to ring the police. I'll hold your hand while you do it.

foolonthehill Sat 05-Oct-13 19:43:32

we're all here for moral support and encouragement

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