Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Have I met the perfect man?

(71 Posts)
Mosschops30 Sat 17-Aug-13 22:46:31

I mean I've never met anyone like him, I'm just waiting for there to be something awful! Are there perfect men out there?

blueshoes Sat 17-Aug-13 22:48:33

How is he perfect, mosschops?

purplewithred Sat 17-Aug-13 22:49:49

Mine is.

Have you shagged him yet? Might all fall down then.

internationallove985 Sat 17-Aug-13 22:52:12

I hate to rain on your parade but I doubt you have as no-one's perfect. but I hope it goes well for you though. xx

Mosschops30 Sat 17-Aug-13 22:54:14

Well I'll try and list some of his qualities, maybe my marriage was so shit that this is what normal relationships are like grin

He's polite
Respects me, my career, my choices
Texts me every morning without fail
Makes tea in bed when we are together
Never slags off his ex wife
Admits he made mistakes in his marriage
He's loyal
He has regular contact with his dc
Has a good job
Fantastic in bed
Great kisser
Gets on with his parents (I met his mum who indeed is fab)
Close to his sibling
Kind
Gentle
Doesn't pressure me about anything
Listens when I talk
His female friends say he's fab
His male friends say he's fab

God I could go on and on grin

The only thing I've noticed is that he talks waay too much when he's had a few grin

Mum2Fergus Sat 17-Aug-13 22:55:59

LTB!! Lol delighted for you MossChops grin

Suelford Sat 17-Aug-13 22:57:44

Texts you every morning? Clingy, red flag! LTB! grin

It's great that you are happy. That is definitely what normal relationships should be like, but there are unfortunately a lot of people who don't have one like that.

ThisIsaLoooow Sat 17-Aug-13 22:59:09

God that IS good!

internationallove985 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:03:46

My F.W.B has his good points of course he does especially in the bedroom. There has been only one time when he didn't manage to make me orgasm.
However he's got his faults plenty of them (He's human) xx

Mosschops30 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:12:28

Lol the texts are not creepy grin he works away so will sometimes just say 'morning beautiful' at 6am when he knows I won't read it til later or whatever but its nice to know he's thinking of me.

I know he's not really gonna be perfect but nothing that would make me LTB grin

internationallove985 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:14:26

Can I embarrass myself and ask what is L.T.B XX

TreborMint Sat 17-Aug-13 23:17:39

Really pleased for you

wonders if he also has a big willy

garlicagain Sat 17-Aug-13 23:20:32

Actually, this is the least you can expect smile Well, tea in bed every day's above and beyond!

Happy for you. Enjoy!

beaglesaresweet Sat 17-Aug-13 23:21:15

is he nice-looking too? tall? <clutches at straws> grin

garlicagain Sat 17-Aug-13 23:21:17

Ah, just seen he's not actually there every morning. Hold out for the tea grin

Mosschops30 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:23:39

He is nice looking (well I think so). He's not male model material but not a munter either grin

He's tall, over 6ft which I love.

Has a nice willy and knows how to use it, can be really dirty in bed, but really gentle too

beaglesaresweet Sat 17-Aug-13 23:24:36

oh, and where did you meet him, Op? did you hot it off straight away? sorry just very curious about happy stories! nice to hear them amid the usual MN misery wink

MrsWelly Sat 17-Aug-13 23:24:41

You haven't got THE perfect one, because I do wink but yours comes pretty close! grin

Mosschops30 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:24:46

LTB is leave the bastard

Constantly tripped out on relationship threads even for the most minor hiccups grin

beaglesaresweet Sat 17-Aug-13 23:24:46

hit it off

TheSecondComing Sat 17-Aug-13 23:25:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mum2Fergus Sat 17-Aug-13 23:26:00

LTB = Leave The Bastard.

beaglesaresweet Sat 17-Aug-13 23:26:31

ooh, over 6 feet - nice! what is it that most men fanciying me recently are same height as me, so nice to be able to wear heels.

sincitylover Sat 17-Aug-13 23:26:44

He sounds great and nothing wrong with texting every morning. Thought that was fairly normal tbh!!

internationallove985 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:29:47

It's not the size of the ship it's motion on the ocean or to put it another way as long as they know how to use their equipment then that's all that matters rather than size.
Also I take a guess that L.T.B means leave the bloke. xxx

Mosschops30 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:30:31

Ooh you're all making me feel even better grin

We knew each other at school, didn't speak or see each other for 20 years, friend on FB about 6 months before me and h split. We met randomly at a party, organised through FB and it went from there

blueshoes Sat 17-Aug-13 23:33:59

That's a keeper smile

curlew Sat 17-Aug-13 23:35:49

How is he about you going out with your friends? What would he say if you put him off for a friend?

beaglesaresweet Sat 17-Aug-13 23:36:03

'leave the bloke' grin, you re so polite, intern!

Amazing coincidences then, Op - FB after years of no contact, and then party right at the time of your split! luck was definitely on your side, probably well overdue - hope he's the one, OP smile.

Mosschops30 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:39:44

Well the party was a few months after the split, I certainly wasn't looking for anything, still not sure what I'm doing about it, just going with the flow smile

I'm not sure about the friends thing, it's not an issue and I've never asked, if I want to see friends I do, same for him, we're not joined at the hip

BMW6 Sat 17-Aug-13 23:49:00

I hope he is as perfect as you believe!
But if he isn't do bear in mind that everyone has something that is their own Achilles Heel.......and nobody is perfect!

(Sorry to rain on your parade, but I am 55 and have seen A LOT OF STUFF......) smile

beaglesaresweet Sat 17-Aug-13 23:53:24

yes Moss, I dodn't mean right on the day of split, but look on MN htreads - women wait YEARS to meet anyone new and decent after divorce, so a couple of months is pretty immediate! maybe good karma in your case grin, just take it slowly as you are doing. You sound sensible, no teenage crush type feelings, so it should go well.

SaltySeaBird Sat 17-Aug-13 23:56:38

They do exist, I've got one too!

Okay in an ideal world I'd pop another number on his salary, but he is careful with money, has no debt and is generous with regular flowers and gifts (surprise bottle of my fav perfume today because he noticed I was running out and saved money by not drinking and volunteering to drive when out with mates on Friday in order to buy it for me).

Don't let the cynics tell you otherwise!

katehastried Sat 17-Aug-13 23:56:41

I met a lOvely bloke like this too

I do think it's probably the shock of a normal relationship after a crap one too

He holds my hand and holds doors for me and brings me gifts and runs me baths

He acts Like he really LIKES me

It probably shouldn't be a shock....

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 00:02:18

salty that's so lovely smile

kate yes I get that feeling too, someone who likes me and acts that way and isn't afraid to show it. It's sad that after years of feeling unloved and undervalued that I think this is so amazing, he just thinks this is normal but to me it's amazing

Troubledjo Sun 18-Aug-13 00:14:10

How weird - I also met the perfect man recently and just like you he is someone I knew from school and hadn't seen for over 20 years. Mind you, I had to wait a long time for him to come along and had been single for a loooooong time beforehand. He's as near perfect (for me) as he could be. And I am also trying to stop myself from assuming that something will go wrong...

FloraSpreadableMacDonald Sun 18-Aug-13 00:19:03

OP, does have an available brother? Or even father? Im not fussy!

TwoStepsBeyond Sun 18-Aug-13 00:19:23

He sounds lovely, lucky you! There's no such thing as a perfect man (or woman) as we're all human, but if he's perfect for you that's as good as it gets! Enjoy.

FloraSpreadableMacDonald Sun 18-Aug-13 00:19:41

* he *

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 00:25:46

Lol no his brother is happily married to a gorgeous girl.
His father is also still married to his mum, he is minted!!!!

However my new man is very normal earns less than my ex but lives within his means and appears to be fairly sensible with money but not tight

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 00:27:07

And thank you smile he is lovely! I don't know why he wants me!!
Im not uses to such loveliness just waiting for it to go tits up

Alwaysreadingonthetrain Sun 18-Aug-13 11:33:53

Has he told you how his marriage went wrong, OP?

MadBusLady Sun 18-Aug-13 12:02:52

LTB! We want him grin

Himoutdoors Sun 18-Aug-13 12:28:48

Enjoy it but don't expect him or anyone else to be perfect though.

MexicanHat Sun 18-Aug-13 12:42:52

Yay Mosschops your thread has given me hope!! And don't put yourself down, he's lucky to have you too!! Enjoy smile

ChimeForChange Sun 18-Aug-13 12:47:11

Can we share?

Lackedpunchesforever Sun 18-Aug-13 13:01:38

Awwwww I luffs a luff story grin

Enjoy !

Your description of him, sounds like me. smile He probably would not like to know that the whole Internet is now wise to him. >>>>>>>goes back to making lunch..... Best wishes for the two of you.

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 19:07:19

always he did tell me what went wrong, she was having an affair but he was honest and said that he let things slip, didnt tell her he loved her, give her the attention she needed, he said he was devastated but takes some responsibility and will never make the same mistake again
However hes never once said anything awful about her, and i really respect him for that. He said he loved her very much for all those years but just became a bit of a twat and stopped showing it.

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 19:08:45

mexican it will come and get you when you least expect it! grin i certainly didnt expect this

katehastried Sun 18-Aug-13 20:04:54

Mine was similar MC. Although I think sometimes women don't appreciate 'nice' boys and want something more 'exciting' (=bastards).

I might be over-thinking it though...

internationallove985 Sun 18-Aug-13 20:22:54

Hi Mosschops30. Before I say this please believe me I mean you no hurt or upset and if what I say causes you upset then it is completely unintentional as it is not in my nature to bring hurt to others and also no I'm not jealous in any way shape or form. Romance does not not interest me one iota. It never has and it never will do. I'm only interested in sex. The arrangement I've got suits me just fine. Also the right one for me is not out there. You'd never get anyone to match me..... Well here goes....
I'm very pleased that you have found someone you're happy with and after a bad marriage I'm not begruging you of course I'm not. However that said a women doesn't have to go through a bad marriage to be to find their fairy tale romance. However please do try not to be do I dare say too smug (sorry I can't think of a alternate word) as the fates don't like it.
I really do wish you well and like I said at the start my comment means you no upset at all. xxx

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 20:29:57

international i am not smug at all, in fact i said down thread that im just waiting for it to go tits up and wonder why its all so good.

I posted this thread because ive been here a long time, had a lot of support and know that MN will tell me how it is if im seeing things through rose tinted specs. I wasnt trying to be smug and apologise if i gave that impression

internationallove985 Sun 18-Aug-13 20:32:52

There's no apology needed mosschops. You're happy and you deserve it. I also apologise if I came across as bitch. xx

SilverSixpence Sun 18-Aug-13 20:45:36

Internationallove don't think she is being smug, she is just happy! Is that not allowed?

waltzingmathilda Sun 18-Aug-13 20:47:11

If he's that perfect, why is his wife an ex?

waltzingmathilda Sun 18-Aug-13 20:47:43

oops see you covered that - strike my last post

SpottyDottie Sun 18-Aug-13 20:47:53

My DH is the perfect man! Love him TO BITS! He treats me like a queen.

Heartbrokenmum73 Sun 18-Aug-13 20:49:35

the fates don't like it confused

internationallove985 Sun 18-Aug-13 20:52:21

Silversixpence Please read my post in more detail. Where exactly did I say O.P is not allowed to be happy? Absolutly nowhere. Now that's all I have to say. x

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 21:00:39

Aah spotty so there are some out there.

I used to read some of the lovely threads when I was married about dhs that would run baths or whip the Hoover round or do other nice things and was so envious.
Those of you who have these wonderful men are so so lucky smile

PeppermintPasty Sun 18-Aug-13 21:27:28

Good on you op. Remember though, if you have found the perfect man, it's probably because you're rather fabulous yourself. Stop waiting for it to go tits up and enjoy it me dear.

curlew Sun 18-Aug-13 21:36:20

OP- a word of advice? Stop being so grateful- he's not doing you a favour, you know!

It sounds a lovely relationship- but make sure it'a a equal one. If you think of yourself as "lucky" that he likes you, it's easy to put yourself in a "little wifey" role and no decent man wants that. Remember he chose you because you're fab, not just because he is!

Beckamaw Sun 18-Aug-13 21:37:08

Feck, let me pile in too!
I'm 3 years in with the perfect man (for me). Another one from school, 20 yrs plus.
We actually had to attend Relate in the early stages because I was fiercely possessive of doing everything for myself. I had to spend a good few weeks acknowledging boundary issues. Good news is, it worked.
It's hard to shake the 'too good to be true-ness' though, after years of bullshit relationships.

You deserve thanks from him, and here are some from me too!
thanksthanksthanks

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 21:54:26

Wow whats with us all finding these old school friends grin thats 3 of us on this thread alone.

Im certainly not in the little wifey role. I came from a marriage where i was expected to be that, but to also do everything and hold down a full time job and course so im not going there.
He thinks im like superwoman grin

thanks for the flowers

somanyfake Sun 18-Aug-13 22:02:42

Pinky pink

curlew Sun 18-Aug-13 22:03:05

I didn't mean a little wifey in practical terms, sorry. I didn't express myself well. It just sound a bit as if you feel you don't deserve him. And that's not a good mind set to get into.

LemonDrizzled Sun 18-Aug-13 22:05:18

Another one here with a lovely man with all the virtues you spotted in your man moss. I still can't believe I have found such a kindred spirit who gets me totally (and talks too much when nervous like I do)

After two years I can understand why his wife left for someone else though. He is obsessed by his hobby which dominates his spare time and is a clutterer and hoarder. You will no doubt find your lovely man's Achilles heel in due course. But meanwhile enjoy!

Mosschops30 Sun 18-Aug-13 22:43:48

Haha yes I'm sure he has many annoying things I'm not yet aware of.

curlew yes I know what you mean, don't be super grateful that he's so great with me and likes me. I don't think I am because I wasn't looking for this and whilst it's lovely I am we'll able to take care of myself and he knows and respects that smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now