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I know it' Sunday but can I ask a bumsex question....?

(40 Posts)
BackwardsCasserole Sun 14-Jul-13 08:46:22

This is a question of advance preparation you see.... Umm, not being au fait with this particular technique I just wondered if there was a 'best' position for the beginner. Well, beginners obviously grin. I think I'm getting the other important points - being properly aroused, lube and er, large small drink first.

AnotherWorld Sun 14-Jul-13 08:49:08

What a thing to be thinking about at 8.46am on a Sunday morning.

Hopefully someone more useful will be along shortly...

Littlet932 Sun 14-Jul-13 08:50:28

Doggy and take it slowly.

Yogii Sun 14-Jul-13 08:53:28

The problem with bumsex is that there will come an occasion when it gets extremely messy. For that reason alone, it should be avoided.

BackwardsCasserole Sun 14-Jul-13 08:53:35

Oh good, I assumed so, but wondered if in my innocence I was missing the blindingly obvious 'tie yourself in several knots, bend over backwards and stick a cauliflower in your ear' position that everyone else knows about.

kalidanger Sun 14-Jul-13 09:00:17

Getting it in is extremely weird and not a little painful but once it's there it's OK. Take it slow with a lot of specifically designed slime.

And that's my last word on the subject brew

Earthworms Sun 14-Jul-13 09:03:21

Put an old towel on the bed. yogi

FortyFacedFuckers Sun 14-Jul-13 09:07:14

I would suggest the spooning position.

Yogii Sun 14-Jul-13 09:29:19

Earthworms, it's not catching it i am worried about, i don't want to see it at all. I can't be alone in thinking this!

SignoraStronza Sun 14-Jul-13 11:04:28

Use a condom, otherwise you'll have to think very carefully about farting later. wink And make sure you're as horny as hell first - a bit of light rimming and a lot of lube.'Tis only the porn stars who appear to have the ability to ram one straight up there <winces>

Have a fabulous Sunday morning. grin

cephalicdream Sun 14-Jul-13 11:08:09

Only one thing to say

Why?

grumpyinthemorning Sun 14-Jul-13 11:20:56

Take it very slowly, it feels bloody strange at first. Quite pleasurable once you get going though wink

Lube, lube and more lube. When you think you've used enough, use more. And doggy style seems to work best.

We've not had a messy experience yet, so I wouldn't worry. If it helps, poop beforehand.

Good luck!

AllegraLilac Sun 14-Jul-13 11:24:57

I'm very experienced in this department and would advise against doggy first. Doggy is a position that allows for very deep, fast penetration that will be too much at first. Beginners should use spoons and work their way up to doggy. Doggy is much more likely to hurt you than feel good atm.

AllegraLilac Sun 14-Jul-13 11:26:59

And messiness isn't a reality of bumsex at all. Poo is a reality of amateur bumsex. Douche half an hour before and you'll never be messy.

BackwardsCasserole Sun 14-Jul-13 13:20:33

Thank you for all your thoughts, most enlightening. Signora, not this Sunday, it's more of a medium term plan (not very spontaneous I know, but I feel a bit of prep is required). Hoping for an alternative plan this evening though grin.

lottieandmia Sun 14-Jul-13 13:23:04

It's not messy - not ime.

internationallove985 Sun 14-Jul-13 13:24:57

Well I just thought I'd drop in and say. I'm proud to say I'm an anal virgin. I was asked during a O.N.S if I'd ever tried it, now whether he was just curious about my sexual past I'll never know. I just said UUgh no that's disgusting, but each to their own. xx

Bumsex isn't messy, doesn't hurt and is fun. Honest.

And no need to douche.

MadeMan Sun 14-Jul-13 13:43:29

Don't eat any sweetcorn for a couple of days beforehand.

nickymanchester Sun 14-Jul-13 15:26:34

As ehric says above, there is certainly no need to douche. However, if you're having any doubts at all then it certainly helps on a psychological level to know that everything is squeaky clean.

Lovehoney do a number of cheap douches and even have videos on how to use them:-

www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952

video here:-

www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/how-to-use-an-anal-douche/

Another thing to say, certainly at first, lots of lube. When you think it's enough, just add a bit more - trust me on this.

Also, consider anal for him as well, there was a thread recently here about it:-

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1799742--Another-dtd-thread-with-poss-tmi-you-have-been-warned

If you're doing a bit of research then try googling ''Tristan Taormino'' she's an American woman who has produced a lot of good books and dvds on different aspects of sex:-

www.amazon.co.uk/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Women-Guides/dp/1573442216

sodeveryone Sun 14-Jul-13 21:44:38

If you are having unprotected sex and he is going to ejaculate inside you, be prepared for a moment about 3 hours later where you think you are going to lose it in your pants (but you're actually not) - this is when the sperm comes out.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Jul-13 21:46:07

I take it you weren't here for the River Island jeans thread? If you weren't, try finding it because you take it up the shitter.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Jul-13 21:47:42

'If you are having unprotected sex and he is going to ejaculate inside you, be prepared for a moment about 3 hours later where you think you are going to lose it in your pants (but you're actually not) - this is when the sperm comes out.'

Charming.

sodeveryone Sun 14-Jul-13 21:59:57

Expat could you have phrased it better?

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 14-Jul-13 22:00:52

I recommend lots of lube and clitoral stimulation (but definitely not to the point of orgasm). Get him to insert a lubed finger, then two and make sure he has plenty on his penis. Spooning is a great first time position and you can easily switch to doggy if you want.

Make sure he goes slow, relax and enjoy.smile

I have not found it messy, although others have, so be prepared. I have extremely intense orgasms during anal sex, I hope you do too OP.grin

God expat that river island jeans thread put me off anal for life

I don't get it, i just don't

missbopeep Mon 15-Jul-13 08:59:03

I just don't get it either. You've got a perfectly good orifice meant for sex so why bother with a bum hole?
FWIW- and I may be wrong here, I thought that repeated anal sex meant there was a risk of anal incontinence after a while due to sphincter damage.

Missbopeep
It's fun. Why do anything other than piv sex? Cos it's fun. And occasional, gentle, lubricated anal sex will not have any long or short term affect on your sphincter.

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 15-Jul-13 11:23:06

Missbopeep, you could say the same thing about oral sex. People have anal sex because they like it. Have you ever tried it?

I don't understand why some people are so judgey about the sex lives of others.hmm

BackwardsCasserole Mon 15-Jul-13 13:06:33

I would have thought from the thread title it was pretty clear what this was all about so not sure why people feel the need to add their judgey comments rather than advice. Still, each to their own and fair do's if you hate the idea. I don't want to do it with you anyway grin.

JollyGolightly Mon 15-Jul-13 13:09:09

Is your username a reference to bumsex, OP? It reads like the kind of term I tend not to understand because I am innocent.

BackwardsCasserole Mon 15-Jul-13 13:12:53

No, well not as far as I know (which is tragically little, hoping to improve on that). It was just an inspired thought and I was rather pleased with the association it seemed to have. Glad it struck you too though.

fyibumsex Mon 15-Jul-13 13:33:41

Hello

Uber name change but.

I have had anal sex with one partner (2 times). Not pre-discussed. No special preparations. In middle of hot sex so both revved up. No 'fall out', not drama, quite nice in a way at time. If I may be frank, going in and sensation fine. Going out, sort of like 'backwards poo' a bit hmmm.

When all's said and done, I viewed it as - bear with me - like eating Ethiopian cuisine. Interesting. Great night. Nice vibe in restaurant. But no huge urge to go back. I'll stick with French and Italian ; )

GreenSkittles Mon 15-Jul-13 16:18:55

I indulged in a bit of 'pegging' with an ex. He loved it, apparently men have a g-spot up there somewhere? And I found it quite amusing, though tiring on the hips. I don't fancy trying it myself though.

Does anyone have a link to the river island jeans thread? It sounds like a must-read! grin

nickymanchester Mon 15-Jul-13 20:29:18

GreenSkittles - I indulged in a bit of 'pegging' with an ex. He loved it, apparently men have a g-spot up there somewhere?

BackwardsCasserole

I know that this is getting a bit off-topic but, as I said above, also think about doing anal on him as well:-

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1799742--Another-dtd-thread-with-poss-tmi-you-have-been-warned

DH and me have talked about pegging but we haven't quite got there yet, although we've done other stuff similar to the thread above.

One thing we're thinking about is the Feeldoe - just search for it on google or youtube to get an idea of how to use it. Or have a quick look at the video here:-

www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=1653#videos

Sorry that this is a bit off-topic but, seriously, consider doing it to him as well.

MrsZoidberg Mon 15-Jul-13 22:33:15

We're newbies at bumsex too grin Still experimenting.

A position we found ourselves in was fantastic. I was lying on my front after a sensational back massage. DH went to lay on top of me to kiss my neck and I got the usual poking grin I started wriggling, so he took this as a signal to continue, and boy was I glad he did! I can't work out why but it just felt fantastic grin DH complained about his back afterwards though grin

I don't know if this is classed as a "beginner" position or not, but we managed!

fuzzpig Mon 15-Jul-13 22:38:06

I'm trying to work out what river island jeans can possibly have to do with bumsex! confused

fuzzpig Mon 15-Jul-13 22:41:58
TalkativeJim Mon 15-Jul-13 22:45:40

LOL at bumsex being part of your 'medium term plan' grin

2 years: start ttc/finish degree/save for deposit

5 years: buy flat/have bumsex/start own business

10 years: expand business/learn French/save for bum repair op

etc. etc.

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