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sootikins is still (not) sleeping #6

(694 Posts)
MrsShrek3 Sat 13-Jul-13 01:15:42

seeing as I am awake again wink
come hither!

jynier Sat 13-Jul-13 01:37:35

Tx, Mrs - to add to my delight:- little baby great-niece is fine and healthy; according to my niece, baby has the most amazing afro hair (couldn't see this in the pic as little girl was wearing a bonnet)! Such a relief that everything is fine! My sis said that SHE is absolutely exhausted! Understand as they had all been in hosp since Sunday!

BlueyDragon Sat 13-Jul-13 04:15:04

cafe you did it you clever person you! Sod your gruesome ex in-laws, you are a-maze-ing! So what next? Do you have more studying to do or are you let loose unfettered on the general public now? I don't know how this doctoring thing works.

Poor LBK and poor kitty. Hand foot and mouth can be grim (DD had it a couple of times, although once was almost certainly chicken pox and we just didn't realise, as she's never obviously picked up chicken pox despite DS having it twice, quite badly). I bet the heat's not helping either.

Have you tried any alternative therapies for your lumpiness, mini?

Mrs, have more wine, more beer and more cake. Was your weekend away nice? I hope your DH can focus on that, it must be awful not to be able to pick the phone up to his mum any more.

Vital statistics: age - 38. BMI - 22 (bloody chemo weight gain, nothing to do with stuffing my face in fancy restaurants/Dominos pizza (strike out words which do not apply). Height - 5' 6". Children - 2 thereof, aged 6 and 3. Pets - none (DH doesn't count).

DH has been in California since last Sunday and isn't back until tomorrow. He can't get his head round the time difference and calls to speak to the children at 11 o'clock at night! It's been kind of nice to have a little time on my own but he can come back now.

The birds have started chirping already...

BlueyDragon Sat 13-Jul-13 04:15:56

And congrats on your great-niece, jynier!

themidwife Sat 13-Jul-13 11:54:10

Morning all! Congrats Jynier!! Hope your husband gets back soon Bluey and stops phoning at 11pm!!

Well - I went to a 50th birthday party lady night wearing pretty much exactly what I used to go out in in 1984!! It's taken 2 washes, 3 conditions & a tangle teaser to restore my hair this morning!! I'd forgotten how hot so much make up, massive hair & goth clothes & boots are!! gringringrin

starsandunicorns Sat 13-Jul-13 18:40:18

Congrats jynier went to town today to look at phones for dd and upgraded mine it took dd and dp to get it working ie texting reason I inputted dds. Num in wrong much eye rolling from dd!!!! Poorwashing manchine this morning I said that silly sentence " any washing starlet" que much rustling and three loads of stuff comes from room I think her sports bag she came over with is a tardis!!!

jynier Sat 13-Jul-13 22:27:43

Thanks, all! Hoping to see darling youngest niece (adore her!) and her daughter next week!

Meanwhile, am thrilled at the news that the Liverpool Care Pathway is to be axed! Have been involved in the campaign for some time. Am not saying that terminally ill people should suffer in their final stages of life but think that it is disgusting that hospitals have received large amounts of money for placing patients on the LCP.

Recommend that you all attend, if possible, meetings of the CQC in your own areas! If your district works under the same principles, you will be treated to a fine buffet, plus desserts!

On to the next major concern ... doctors are being paid bonuses to NOT refer patients to hospital specialists!!!

Minimammoth Sun 14-Jul-13 19:03:40

Checking in to new thread. Back from weekend away at DD1s, beach and sea. And lovely to watch GC enjoying the sun, running around not a care in the world. Oh to be 3 again.

themidwife Sun 14-Jul-13 19:22:55

I look at my 3 year old & think - ooh new knees & feet - how lovely!!
It must have been amazing at the beach this weekend Mini!

Minimammoth Sun 14-Jul-13 20:24:01

It was great. Even went in sea, well up to the waist. 'twas a bit cold but after a few minutes you can't feel your legs. I love seaside. All that exited running with the bucket to get water to fill the castle moat. Ahhhh.

cafecito Sun 14-Jul-13 20:44:18

hello all!

I have developed a terrible addiction to minimilks

jynier, congrats on being great aunt!!

mini, seaside lovely - breeze and sea!! <most jealous

themidwife grin

bluey! hello

kitty, hope lkb getting better

Mrs Shrek, irresistible come hither face smile

cafecito Sun 14-Jul-13 20:48:58

Bluey I have more studying... lots more studying.. which is good as right now I know nothing. A friend was in an rtc the other day and asked me to dress their wounds - I was like, er, I haven't done this module grin I did it but they passed out with the pain. hmmm. Also doing masters so more exams in October which I am sposed to be working for now....lalalaaa....

had to work yesterday inside all day with no air con! gulp! today was off but the one day I got sunburn I am now peeling. I had an interesting chat this morning with the fellow from extreme A&E while buying coffee though, he's so nice

cafecito Sun 14-Jul-13 20:51:18

though I am sure he was thinking yuck at my peeling shoulder [not selling myself very well here]

I have finally mustered the energy to find my fan from deep within the kitchen cupboards of stuff never unpacked from moving (I have BABY food and bottles and doidy cups, DS is a huge thing now. oops) but fan is lovely. aaaahh

MrsShrek3 Mon 15-Jul-13 02:21:44

cafe, all that hard work has made you even more insane grin

anyone up?

themidwife Mon 15-Jul-13 11:29:42

We're rubbish insomniacs Mrs!! How are you?

SummerDad Mon 15-Jul-13 22:05:10

Hi all <gnome being resurrected from ethereal nothingness>

I hope everyone is doing good grin

Jynier congrats on the new great news. Just read the news about liverpool care path and first name that sprang to mind was you. Brilliant success !

starsandunicorns Mon 15-Jul-13 22:30:14

Waves to summer dad and all others we doing ok starlet v quite today sigh saw new marks on her legssad

MrsShrek3 Mon 15-Jul-13 22:40:24

hi all

MrsShrek3 Mon 15-Jul-13 23:34:16

oi. nocturnal ones. over 'ere! if you are not already tucked up in bed snoring pfft call yourselves insomniacs indeed grin

jynier Mon 15-Jul-13 23:56:06

Hi, all! Have to be quick as laptop is still not fixed! If I'm honest, I am waiting (same as all older people) for a hand-me-down from one of my DC!

Bluey - all my thoughts are with you!

Stars - hope starlet is ok now!

Mrs - sorry that you were on your own last night; agree with midwife that we have all become rubbish insomniacs!

Not even commenting on our dad.

To date, apart from my own 3DC and 3DG, I have 12 beloved nieces and nephews (6 of each, who are all wonderfully clever and musically talented) and 5 great-nieces and 4 great-nephews. My neighbour Lily (you all know about her - 91 years young next birthday!) told me about a lady at her lunch club who is very ill and does not have one relative at all. Find this so sad. Front-page news today that Norman Lamb wants communities "to wash and feed the elderly." I have a very fit 24-y-o neighbour ... ! Will make sure that he sees the article and suggest that he should come into the shower with me! Lol!

jynier Tue 16-Jul-13 00:27:54

Hahaha! How could I not have mentioned cafe? We spent sooooo many nights together! Helped her with her revision, y'know! Sending best wishes to you, cafe, and am very, very proud of you!

VitoCorleone Tue 16-Jul-13 00:33:11

Mind if i join? Not much chance of getting any sleep tonight sad

jynier Tue 16-Jul-13 00:40:15

What's wrong, Vito? You can tell us ... !

VitoCorleone Tue 16-Jul-13 00:43:31

Asked DP to leave tomorrow. He's said some fucking horrible, hurtful things to me tonight. I have a thread in chat about it.

Im so angry and disgusted, i never want to see him again.

jynier Tue 16-Jul-13 01:02:27

Oh dear, Vito! - Checked out your thread; am so sorry for what you are going through! Stay strong!

VitoCorleone Tue 16-Jul-13 01:15:42

Im just so angry. I want to go downstairs and actully beat the shit out of him. I just want tomorrow to come and him to just go, i just want him out. I will be so much better off without him.

jynier Tue 16-Jul-13 01:59:13

OK! Understand that you are very hurt and angry - no need for the foul language, though!

Post again without the expletives! Can't speak for anyone else but I don't like it!

Start again, Vito!

VitoCorleone Tue 16-Jul-13 02:04:50

Sorry sad leaving the thread now

cafecito Tue 16-Jul-13 02:21:46

Hi Vito, sorry you are having a rough time. You're welcome here if you're awake tonight these things can throw your world into absolute disarray and you don't know if you're coming or going. I hope you are ok

cafecito Tue 16-Jul-13 02:25:08

Just seen your thread Vito stay strong. You are much much better off without him! You've spent 6 years on a loser, had beautiful DC so it's not time wasted, but you don't need to waste any time from hereonin. More fool anyone else who would have him - sounds like he's been extremely foolish and more concerningly has been abusive to you. Absolutely, get rid, and never look back.

cafecito Tue 16-Jul-13 02:26:23

jynier you made me laugh so much with your comment re 24yo grin thank you

hello Mrs, yep madder than ever confused oh my

I am getting rather grumpy in this weather, and definitely living on ice cream

summerdad !!! heeeeey!!! *all hail all hail master

cafecito Tue 16-Jul-13 02:28:01

stars sorry about DD has any support been lined up via GP, with CAMHs maybe? what a stress for you and you must feel so helpless. she is very lucky to have you so supportive I am sure things are better now than they have been for some time but she needs to learn healthy coping strategies (easier said than done of course) does she have any hobbies you could encourage a renewed interest in?

cafecito Tue 16-Jul-13 02:30:34

interestingly jynier, I never swear. I have aperma-censor in my head. Except for today when I said loudly 'what the f* IS a... (whatever it was I referred to) just as a young child walked up behind me I was so very relieved when realised parents did not speak any English blush [hangs head in shame]

cafecito Tue 16-Jul-13 02:31:37

in my defence I was not fully in public, I was doing accounts in a makeshift office, did not expect tourists to wander in looking for sun hats grin

cafecito Tue 16-Jul-13 03:22:09

PS Jynier, yay re LCP. I am not meant to say this, as we are told it is a very very very good thing hmm but I am happy to see it go. I hope the next 6-12 months are not too shambolic. I think individualised and increased attention to excellent palliative care and EoL care is what's needed. It was scary, imo, the incentives, the unfettering support. I went to meetings at the hospital etc and asked, er, how the hell are patients not even being consented themselves and the response was it's not anyone's right to walk into a hospital and demand a treatment. we don't need consent. shock this was less than a year ago. I just hope there is funding there to meet the huge changes needed in its wake, and that its not just rebranded (which was spoken of at said meeting) and brought back as the same thing with a shiny new name

starsandunicorns Tue 16-Jul-13 06:47:42

Thankyou cafe no appt yet will chase it up dp is brill with her doing all the admin with her ie dentist app today shes going to her old town thurs to see friends etc we got a open ticket so she get can get back if things go wrong she loves art and found my colouring book so have let her have it we getting a contract phone this week her first ever her dad never let her have one we said she can have friends here so she said she see if her lil group will come up then proudy annouses five in her group so may have six 15 yrs old in the flat in a few weeks !!!!!!!!!!

this week is my last pay from angency then I have to wait six weeks till pay day glup

just want her to be happy

themidwife Tue 16-Jul-13 14:27:13

Hi Stars, have you applied for child tax credits & child benefit to supplement your income, plus of course child maintenance from your ex? It will make a huge difference to your income.

starsandunicorns Tue 16-Jul-13 17:57:23

Child benefit yes takes about four or five weeks csa called me as he called them I used to pay him but wont even strat the case till I got child benefit dont think we get child tax credits as dps wages so up and down and I dont want to get overpaid ( had that nightmare before) money is a complete mess at the min my kidneys have had a good clean as no bread in house this moring so no lunch pasta and a few peppers and couragtes for tea

themidwife Tue 16-Jul-13 20:10:59

It's still worth claiming even if you give a higher estimated annual household income & I'd claim csa ASAP anyway!!

cafecito Tue 16-Jul-13 21:02:33

def worth claiming stars, the calculation is done on the previous year's income up to last april so you can't get overpaid as such (she says) but lots and lots of admin. For a mobile. I used to have phone bills of over £300 with orange every month (!!!) so I switched to a capped contract with Tesco (so you NEVER go over a certain amount) which was 17.50 but now have a wonderfully bargainous Virgin mobile sim for £12! studenty wink it's not capped though so depends what you do with it

jynier Tue 16-Jul-13 23:41:08

Hi, all!

On reflection, I was probably a bit harsh with Vito. Poor girl must be in shock! Can't stay here long; usual problem with laptop! Best wishes to you all - have read all your posts!

MrsShrek3 Wed 17-Jul-13 01:07:39

oooh, I missed a bit. Just caught up
Good to hear everyone's news, and confirmation that café is indeed actually insane grin

jynier Wed 17-Jul-13 01:54:37

Hmm, Mrs! Our lives will be in cafe's hands! Huge responsibility!

cafecito Wed 17-Jul-13 01:56:44

^juggling scalpels.. hears name, looks up..........

drops scalpel

as you were grin

cafecito Wed 17-Jul-13 01:57:02


jynier Wed 17-Jul-13 02:02:22

Hahaha, cafe!

Am very proud of you! Don't worry about dropping the odd scalpel; will never be noticed!

KittyAndTheFontanelles Wed 17-Jul-13 04:15:23

Hi all. Phone still broken. Trying to prize MrKitty's phone away during the cricket is no easy task grin

jynier, I'm afraid you were very harsh with Vito. I'm going to be harsh with you now because I didn't like reading your post as much as you don't like swearing. You may not like swearing but it is allowed in this site and Vito has every right to post on this thread in the manner which suits her. She is obviously very angry and distressed and came on our thread for support. Your comments pushed her away and I think made us feel like an unfriendly lot. I think that is very sad. sad

Vito, if you are reading. Please come back if you want to. Swear all you like too if it helps. You are welcome here.

themidwife Wed 17-Jul-13 07:24:08

I'm afraid I agree with Kitty Jynier! I wish I had been brave enough to say so at the time! I will send her a pm asking her to return. blush

themidwife Wed 17-Jul-13 15:41:52

I have PMd Vito & she will come back tonight for support. Lets all make her all welcome!! smile

starsandunicorns Wed 17-Jul-13 18:18:30

Waves to all runs arounds thread dusting places gin beer pimms in fridge I made icecubes for drinks in the freezer sits and waits for people smile

themidwife Wed 17-Jul-13 18:36:15

Oooh I have a sneaky posh gin & fever tree tonic - thanks Stars!!

starsandunicorns Wed 17-Jul-13 22:46:43

Im fumming starlet has had a text from dd1 who I dont have contact with dd1 has comtact with my motuer in my mothers wisdom ( being the controling toxic person that she is) has told dd1 everything about what been happening with starlet

starlet and dd1 fell out months ago to which dd1 told starlet to go away putting it mildey
so now dd1 has sent a text to starlet saying stuff I have a v v very upset starlet

this all stems from when I found out somthing about my past that was kept sercet for my own good. To which I distanced myself from toxic mother Arggghhhhhhhh

starsandunicorns Wed 17-Jul-13 22:47:55

Sorry for spelling and grammer new phone fat fingers and upset

MrsShrek3 Wed 17-Jul-13 22:52:16

dusting?! shock

cafe, if you drop spoons scalpels it means a baby is on the way wink grin

And I was not referring to the christmas pudwink . btw how are you doing kitty, I keep thinking of you in the heat... not good

five get ups til school hols, tfft grin

cafecito Wed 17-Jul-13 23:09:43

well done Kitty and themidwife, agree. don't worry jynier, but we want to be a welcoming little enclave of nocturnal beings grin after all, we're all awake for some reason or another!

sorry to hear about dd1/starlet stress, last thing she needs at the moment!

Mrs, I am terrified of obstetrics, I'll leave that to themidwife thanks very much grin

Kitty - hot, much? (in all senses) how is littlebittykitty?

jynier Thu 18-Jul-13 00:40:38

Hi, all! I did send a very apologetic PM to Vito last night; no reply so far but hope that she comes back.

cafecito Thu 18-Jul-13 02:15:45

hi jynier, I have just seen the apprentice final. absolutely horrified at the result. eeeugh

cafecito Thu 18-Jul-13 02:37:47

calmed down now grin

hope all are well, I have become a bit grumpy in this weather smile

cafecito Thu 18-Jul-13 02:38:24

Mrs - any plans for school hols?

cafecito Thu 18-Jul-13 04:15:22

can't sleep won't sleep confused

ah, solution - ice cream

(breakfast time, right?)

starsandunicorns Thu 18-Jul-13 07:21:59

Of course Cafe its the only way grin

Minimammoth Thu 18-Jul-13 08:18:15

Morning. I am still here. Just not been very chatty. I hope Vito comes back too, maybe life is not giving her much time. I hope she has found support in RL.
I watched a bit of apprentice and am hmm this is really not what I would want for women. Couldn't she do something useful. Tell her Cafe.
Hope you can find a peaceful state of mind Stars. Grr to meddling relatives.
I am also grumpy in this weather, so sometimes grumpy lumpy.
Good news though is that the Fluff is doing ok, managing on her 3 working legs and is definitely not dead.

starsandunicorns Thu 18-Jul-13 11:23:49

Good news starlet has got the school she wanted when she comes back from visting friends we be shopping for a blazer and tie first time ever so want the school to do final year school pics now [ grin]

Minimammoth Thu 18-Jul-13 15:17:41

Great news Stars. What colour is the uniform? I remember my enormous blazer that had to last 4 years and us rolling our skirts over at the top to make them mini.

starsandunicorns Thu 18-Jul-13 18:55:03

Lol its white shirts black blazer with a red rowe thing on the breast pocket blk trousers or skirts the girls around wear skirts but starlet wants trouers school tie will depend upon which house she goes into ( hoping for black and green as green her fav colour) I never has blazers the boys did but the didnt anyway off to melt tos too hot

starsandunicorns Thu 18-Jul-13 18:55:49

Rowe = rose

Minimammoth Thu 18-Jul-13 20:03:47

Not too offensive then. In our first year we had to make our own summer uniform. It was a gathered skirt and shapeless top in gingham check. Lordy, the sights we were.

cafecito Thu 18-Jul-13 22:00:28

Oh dear. I went to bed at 8am and totally missed what I should have done at 10. I then somehow managed to bump into the ex's parents... in a vast expanse of open green space in sw London (VAST) where deer roam. How could that have happened. arrrrgh.

yay to starlet school

my uniform was A KILT type of thing, long grey wrap skirt pleated, had to hit between ankle and mid calf. HIDEOUS. I remember wearing normal mini skirt in grey under the hideous thing and whipping it off on the way out of school to avoid the bullying jibes. sigh. house mistress would come around and MEASURE girls skirts to make sure they were just the right level of vile. shirts and blazers all the way. much better than my polyester nightmare at my first school, but that skirt traumatised me deeply grin

Minimammoth Thu 18-Jul-13 22:14:14

Deep sympathy cafe. I can see how that would scar you for life.
Am turning in early, hope the kazoo playing pigeons are quiet tonight.

cafecito Thu 18-Jul-13 22:28:55

hahaha mini grin

goodnight hope you sleep well

starsandunicorns Thu 18-Jul-13 22:31:26

A school near near us which dp and starlet looked round has changed names and uniform and its a grey kilt that was a defo no my school uniform was blue. and my mum made my uniform I had the joy of a wrap over A line skirt pass the knee and the biggest hem ever it took four years till the hem wouldnt go down any ever <joins cafe on the scarred for life seat>

MrsShrek3 Thu 18-Jul-13 22:58:47

my school uniform was evil too. We had to kneel up on the floor to make sure our evil tweed skirt was the right length . eww. no options for trousers, tweed skirts all the way. That scarred for life by uniform bench needs an extension grin

KittyAndTheFontanelles Fri 19-Jul-13 02:04:27

Knee length, fawn coloured socks and 'Jesus boots'. That's right, tan coloured, buckled sandals. shock

I think I win. grin

cafecito Fri 19-Jul-13 02:11:36


kitty! I'm sure you rocked them like a 50sretro 40s-style pin up. mmm jesus boots

I remember I had to wear army boots and got yelled at for not polishing them properly, had to do 150 pushups without stopping for my felony in front of a group of sniggering 14 year olds

cafecito Fri 19-Jul-13 02:12:33

kitty wins. MrsShrek close behind. I am now imagining a combo of all those grin [barf

hope lbkitty and the pudding are well?

cafecito Fri 19-Jul-13 02:15:43

fawn/tan yum. My friend had to wear mustard/nappy poo polyester blazers and brown pleated skirt at school. I observed some of these people just last week - the girls had rolled up their skirts and I was wondering why they thought this improved the monstrosity, there was a blinding sea of nappypoo blazers before my eyes and a few nappypoo dresses.

I am just jealous as I can't pull of such colours kitty can with red lipstick and curls grin

cafecito Fri 19-Jul-13 02:16:05

off. not of. obvs confused

starsandunicorns Fri 19-Jul-13 06:45:59

Oh kitty I didnt have them but had clarks when them werent fashionable everyone was wearing high heels am mum made me wear lace brown blue or black ones not forgetting the clark trainners with clarks lables on the front and on the sole so when walking in the snow a inprint of the word clark went in the snow used to run home in fear of the bullies plus mum made my school bag not so bad you may think however she made a twatty ruvksack thing 1940's style no zips but lots of ribbons to make into a bow in green too I was a bullys dream sigh I cried myself to sleep wanting a jelly bag

MrsShrek3 Fri 19-Jul-13 07:21:23

grin stars
we also had fawn socks and brown lace ups. like brogues but way less fashionable. and in the eighties when everyone else had kitten heels and stillettos. what a gorgeous combo with the tweed, I must say hmm

themidwife Fri 19-Jul-13 07:44:01

Ha ha you lot! I had to wear huge thick navy "regulation school knickers" & a straw boater. Detention if either were not worn on the school bus home for some reason! gringringrin

MrsShrek3 Sat 20-Jul-13 22:31:47

anyone in?
<pulls up seat>


starsandunicorns Sat 20-Jul-13 22:48:28

Wave to mrs shrek hows your weekend

Minimammoth Sat 20-Jul-13 23:25:03

I am here, though not sure for how much longer. Got the itches. It's been cloudy here today but still hot. We have been being sociable, BBQ with friends, buffet lunch thingy, too many people. Brings out my Inner Recluse.

MrsShrek3 Sun 21-Jul-13 01:01:17

more antihistamine, mini?
ello stars, how is it going and how is starlet doing?

KittyAndTheFontanelles Sun 21-Jul-13 01:23:52

Hi all. Hoping not to be here for long; just resettling littlekitty.

We get the keys to our new home on Monday and start moving. Squeaky grin I really can't wait. So sick if being cramped and the house stinking of cigarette smoke (neighbours fagging outside our open windows) Remember that 6 ring hob I was so excited about? grin

Cafe my dear, I'm certainly hot of temp but otherwise I believe you give me too much credit wink How's the big smoke in the heatwave?

Glad starlet has chosen a school. smile

Poor bumpy mini [itchy emoticon]

KittyAndTheFontanelles Sun 21-Jul-13 01:39:59

Also, littlekitty counted to two today shock grin

20 months- my clever little chops. [proud]

That's all that sesame street, yer see?!

MrsShrek3 Sun 21-Jul-13 01:47:39

moving... eek!!

KittyAndTheFontanelles Sun 21-Jul-13 05:57:17

I know, Mrs. The packing one has been hellish this weather.

We have hired a van but no 'removal men'we have no clue how to get the washer dryer into and out of the van. Any ideas? It's that concrete bottom, you see? Just like mine

KittyAndTheFontanelles Sun 21-Jul-13 05:58:56

Alone that should be, not one

themidwife Sun 21-Jul-13 07:54:01

Oh no Kitty - you must not move that washer dryer!! Has Mr Kitty got some big burly mates to help with that kind of thing while you sit on a chair in front of a fan directing proceedings? like I did when 4 numpties tried to move our piano smile

starsandunicorns Sun 21-Jul-13 08:30:07

Morning all starlet good shes visting her old friends so seems ok though did have a very tearful phone call yesterday she has broken the screen on her phone !!! I didnt shout etc just said when she gets back we repair but she needs a case for it dp.called the mobile company has its attached to his contract and as he has been with them since 1994 they going to replace it when she comes back so I visted the range shop in town its a new one and got a big box broken choclate biccys do love him so very much
I cant belive it sometimes that he still with me, kitty lots of big blokes to move. Washing manchine etc while you supervise

MrsShrek3 Sun 21-Jul-13 09:38:42

kitty I agree with tmw. definitely dhs mates. the bigger and uglier the better tbh.
starlet update smile your dp is a sweetie, stars.

lumpymini....hope antihistamine working today and you stop eating naughty stuff
another footy tournament today. ds2 has another excuse to roll round the floor and take all the skin off his knees - his fave pastime. ds1 has a strop on, football is a silly game he says (and he dislikes different and non routine). dd has friends there so she's quite happy. Considering roll of parcel tape for ds1 grin

Minimammoth Sun 21-Jul-13 09:40:34

Kitty. Car jack, and sack barrow. One of those big professional car jacks though, although maybe not enough room to slide under. Tilt it, slide in sack barrow. Lean it on. Roll it wherever you like. Cover it with blanket or some suck to protect it first. ( I have move many times)

MrsShrek3 Mon 22-Jul-13 04:23:50

two upchucking children. my life is completehmm
dd was ill yesterday but was on the mend, i stayed with her while ds2 went to footy tournament (and won). I was going to have to be off work with her anyway. So to get in on the Great Skive, ds2 has just joined in. Ds1 had more sense and ran for the hills the grandparents house asap when he knew there were bugs about grin wise boy.
more sigh.

starsandunicorns Mon 22-Jul-13 06:39:49

Oh poor you MrsShrek does ds1 have bugout rucksack. <watches to much doompreppers>

Minimammoth Mon 22-Jul-13 07:57:41

Oh dear Mrs Shrek. Are you ok?

themidwife Mon 22-Jul-13 09:12:20

Oh no Mrs!! All you bloody need!!

MrsShrek3 Mon 22-Jul-13 09:59:58

I must be immune to children bugs...grin the 'other' bonus of teaching (besides the holidays obv)

themidwife Mon 22-Jul-13 12:28:13

I am also immune. To everything except NHS stress smile

themidwife Mon 22-Jul-13 12:39:30

DD's 4th birthday tomorrow - she may share it with a royal baby - if so I hope she believes the cheering & bunting are for her!! gringringrin

Minimammoth Mon 22-Jul-13 14:02:05

Aw happy birthday er...minimidwife? Is there to be a party?

themidwife Mon 22-Jul-13 15:26:44

The BIG party is on Saturday. A bouncy castle & 10 x 3/4 year olds plus assorted siblings!! Tomorrow we are going out to a pottery painting place & for lunch. smile

MrsShrek3 Mon 22-Jul-13 16:01:57

pottery painting and lunch sounds so much more civilised than the tribe of toddly peole and a bouncy castle. Are earplugs provided free with bouncy castle? grin

themidwife Mon 22-Jul-13 17:51:39

I really really hope so!!

MrsShrek3 Mon 22-Jul-13 21:51:44

have a lovely time tomorrow TMW (after that your peace will be shattered) grin

How's everyone doing?
(we turned out to have three upchucking kids, not one... awesome day. erm. not. obv...) grin thankfully all are over it now.

themidwife Mon 22-Jul-13 22:02:12

Thanks Mrs! I bet your washing machine is on overtime. Hope you get a good night's sleep tonight!

MrsShrek3 Tue 23-Jul-13 00:29:43

yep, fifth load in 24hrs is on. the amazing dc didnt make any mess anywhere but I am neurotic have washed all the towels in the house and bedding anyway.

anyone up or is it just me and the washing machine? (actually that sounded a bit wrong blush )

themidwife Tue 23-Jul-13 04:44:12

I'm up! shock

Minimammoth Tue 23-Jul-13 06:18:28

Wow what a storm . Been up since 4.15 ish too. Non stop lightening here.

themidwife Tue 23-Jul-13 08:24:15

Same here obviously I woke up at exactly 4.15 too! BANG!!

themidwife Tue 23-Jul-13 21:45:01

How did house move go Kitty? smile

Minimammoth Wed 24-Jul-13 21:01:10

I am definitely losing it. Could have sworn I did a long ramble post. It's vanished, plus completely forgot docs appointment today blush the shame.

themidwife Wed 24-Jul-13 21:10:24

It's the heat Mini!!

starsandunicorns Wed 24-Jul-13 21:22:12

Hello everyone no thurderstorms here < wails> it is cloudlyish only had ten mins of light rain so far cant cope anymore head is hurting feeling knacked headachy washed out ugh

Minimammoth Wed 24-Jul-13 21:32:47

Oh dear Stars. Run your head under the tap, to simulate rainstorm feeling grin

themidwife Wed 24-Jul-13 21:42:07

It's gone very muggy here again too. Ugghhhh! Next time it rains I'm running into the garden naked! wink

MrsShrek3 Wed 24-Jul-13 22:14:34

wish it would do a bloomin good storm here. The humidity and pressure has given me a headache all day. My head feels like it's going to explode!

Minimammoth Wed 24-Jul-13 23:55:13

Wednesday night is lumpy night, I have the Clingon look again. We have had a little rain ( left blooming washing out). Now am just trying not to scratch and trying to find cool spots in bed.

themidwife Thu 25-Jul-13 07:17:25

Oh no Mini! Lumpy, hot, muggy. Not a good combination! sad

Minimammoth Thu 25-Jul-13 08:01:40

I confess that after eating a wholesome salad at lunch time I succumbed to a v. small packet of wine gums. <hangs head in shame> they did the evil deed, should know better.
Also left car window open, soggy bottom scenario coming up.

themidwife Thu 25-Jul-13 09:00:14

Ha ha! Not a good scenario! grin

MrsShrek3 Thu 25-Jul-13 10:00:23

poor mini. lumpyminisoggybum is today's name (not laughing. I'm not. honestly)
anyone else coming wood pigeon bashing? noisy buggers. 5am tomorrow in the trees behind my house. pigeon kebab, anyone grin
already enjoying the holidays (pigeon wakeup call aside)

themidwife Thu 25-Jul-13 10:08:28

Sounds good Mrs! Can we also have a go at the seagulls on my roof? I live 100 miles from the sea you stupid f-ers! Grrrr!

MrsShrek3 Thu 25-Jul-13 10:40:36

oh yessss. I'm sure it would add flavour to the kebab, assuming they're not too salty wink

themidwife Thu 25-Jul-13 12:05:07

It's ok, we'll give it to my Spider cat. He'll eat any type of bird!

Minimammoth Thu 25-Jul-13 16:20:04

The name has a certain ring to it Mrs Shrek. I will consider a mumsnet name change. Another member of the pigeons are a B. nuisance club here. They are still nesting somewhere near my head at night and playing the kazoo.

Minimammoth Thu 25-Jul-13 16:20:45

Extra note: my DH thought I was 'breathing funny'.

MrsShrek3 Thu 25-Jul-13 21:50:51

talented birds round your way hmm grin

cafecito Fri 26-Jul-13 01:03:37

hello folks. I managed to hide this thread accidentally confused can you imagine grin my life has been incomplete and what's worse is I have been staying up til 6am shock

happy birthday/party minimidwife. mini mini, sorry you're still lumpy. Mrs, hope nobody upchucking still. Kitty - how was the move?

cafecito Fri 26-Jul-13 01:04:45

breathing funny? eeek. hopefully it's just the worms migrating through your lungs, rather than a severe allergic response <SO UNHELPFUL CAFE IS KICKED OFF THREAD AND REPORTED TO GMC>


cafecito Fri 26-Jul-13 01:05:31

ah,kazoo playing worms I see


cafecito Fri 26-Jul-13 01:06:27

kitty where do you acquire sesame street? I want to force DS to watch it, it's what I grew up on, but have no idea how to get it. I have an old school DVD but that is all. Is there a magic channel for it?

starsandunicorns Fri 26-Jul-13 07:25:40

Wrote out a message then it didnt upload so starts again waves to all im melting at work I have a sucking out hot air but draws in fresh air thing in my office however cos its soo hot it was blowing hot in all day wails I cant switich it off as the switich is in another room and I dont have a code so called up the people to turn it off but them were busy so I melted had a headache drank 2 liters of water in 9 hours and have been weeing all night add to the fact starlet called up crying some of her mates had a massive falling out and dragged her into it she couldnt get the last train home as she would of got stuck halfway to here hopful she come home today as was panicing on the phone I wanted to get her but she dosnt want us to spend money this all happening at 22:00 so knacked as not much sleep sigh

themidwife Fri 26-Jul-13 07:44:17

Oh no stars that sounds like hell - the heat & the nighttime phone calls! Can you move your desk outside?!

Minimammoth Fri 26-Jul-13 09:17:35

I can assure you Cafe that my breathing is fine. Stars according to health and safety you should probably go home if it gets too hot. I wonder how often that happens?
Are you all ready for bouncy castle joy Midwife?
Hope Kitty has survived the move.

themidwife Fri 26-Jul-13 09:57:04

This morning my postman gleefully told me it's going to rain tomorrow during the party. I had to sign for a parcel & was tempted to write SOD OFF in large letters on his little screen!

Less bumpy mini?

starsandunicorns Fri 26-Jul-13 11:30:45

Midwife if I moved my desk outside the payslips would turn into airmail!! some guy has turned it have dead hot air again but better than new hot air blowing in .

themidwife Fri 26-Jul-13 13:20:48

One way to deliver them stars!! gringrin

MrsShrek3 Sat 27-Jul-13 00:09:58

cafe hid us shock shock we won't fit in a cupboard yano. pmsl... gmc report. and we would have pm'd you threats and menaces if we had known you HID US wink

it is going to be sunny tomorrow. where I live

sesame street is still on. But owing to it being the summer holidays my brain has stopped working entirely. So I'm sorry I can't remember which channel. confused If one of the dc (well actually ds2) reminds me I will pass it on

payslips by airmail instead of PIGEONhole sounds fun, stars [groan]. do itwink

I've got beer
my remaining single brain cell is pished. the others are on holiday (see above)

sorry to the half of you I have missed.
haven't seen kitty... is it my braincell defecit or has she hidden us too shock grin

MrsShrek3 Sat 27-Jul-13 05:20:37

been awake an hour so have given up now... anyone else lurking?

Minimammoth Sat 27-Jul-13 06:49:07

One eye now open mrs Shrek. But would like to close.

MrsShrek3 Sun 28-Jul-13 01:42:27

got the thread to myself these days. thinkin I've scared you off grin

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 02:02:55


cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 02:04:48

how you doing MrsShrek? I spent all day working on my feet, now have granny ankles. eating ice cream at 2am to console self as missed TWO birthday parties tonight. <secretly not overly sad as was raining on a barbecue teehee>

considering doing a crazy harsh bootcamp next week hmm then thinking, no, the money I'd pay for bootcamp...would buy loads of ice cream grin

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 02:06:32

mini, was reading about some magickal dr quackery cure for your allergic reactions.. diatomaceous earth [puzzled] I think you eat it and it fixes you *awesome medical advice
hides from GMC

MrsShrek3 Sun 28-Jul-13 02:06:52

how are you doing, cafe?

MrsShrek3 Sun 28-Jul-13 02:09:28

x posted grin grin

definitely ice cream. who needs boot camp to get all minging and sweaty in this weather? seriously, cannot see a point to that.

starsandunicorns Sun 28-Jul-13 02:23:42

Mrs shrek me either whispers ( I have a raspberry pavola in the freezer for me only )

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 03:55:21

Haha yes it would be sweaty! ice cream half price in waitrose! I am now in bed with a lovely breeze through my window. I keep looking at terrible human infections on YouTube no wonder I can't sleep - bleurgh!

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 03:56:56

I keep bumping into the same people in London, it's really freaking me out - very weird - 4 people I know on Friday in the vast expanse of the city. Bit spooked!

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 03:57:40

I'm worried. They'll think I'm stalky!

I haven ever taken pAvlova

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 03:58:27

eaten not taken, on iPad.,. Class A pavlova grin

starsandunicorns Sun 28-Jul-13 04:01:09

Is wide awake due to keep getting bite sigh I am senstive to bites got a plug in thingy but still got bite today I have seven on my tummy from three weeks that are still itchy grrrr

BlueyDragon Sun 28-Jul-13 04:16:34

<wanders in slightly pissed waving a bottle of prosecco>

How are you all? Just been catching up on the chat I've missed - RL in the form of going back to work has got in the way of MN must get my priorities right

We've spent today having an amazing party with lots of lovely family and friends. Everything went well and the forecast thunderstorms held off. There is a lot of clearing up and we MASSIVELY over catered - anyone for lamp chop or chicken? - but who cares?

stars, you lend a whole new meaning to the phrase "fan mail".

BlueyDragon Sun 28-Jul-13 04:20:12

Class A pavlova? It's not listed under Class A in the Misuse of Drugs Act. cafe is this some new designer dessert drug I haven't heard of because I am not hip young.

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 04:37:29

Yay for parties ! Yayfor prosecco! I drink mine in caves

BlueyDragon Sun 28-Jul-13 04:39:40


cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 04:40:01

Yay for bluey

Boo to bites

Yay for dessert drugs

I am so not hip, that the word shoreditch makes me break out in minis hives

Got my first ever pair of glasses this week .... Less hipster DJ... More librarian

Prosecco cheesecake anyone ? Where's the butler?

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 04:40:27

Ah, yes, all my favourite places are caves

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 04:40:44


cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 04:42:01

Gordon's cave ... Um... A fabulous cave in Mexico...

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 04:42:54

Why isn't this in chat then d be deleted in three months grin


cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 04:43:21

Bluuueeeeyyyyyy (((squish)))

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 04:44:51

Ice cream induced hyperglycaemic episode,do ignore ^

How's work bluey ?

BlueyDragon Sun 28-Jul-13 04:53:11

Exhausting. How did I ever do this full time? Trying to work out if I can go part time permanently (DH doesn't know this yet). Maybe if I can move to compressed hours I can avoid the full time work for part time pay scenario.

I always knew you had a double life, cafe. Doctor/med student by day, Mexican bat by night.

Prosecco pavlova ice cream, anyone?

themidwife Sun 28-Jul-13 08:39:31

Mornin all - have been v distracted by DD's bouncy castle 4th birthday party yesterday & DS's 21st meal tonight. I've a craving for that Heston salted caramel popcorn ice cream in half price at Waitrose but it's always sodding sold out when I go in! Grrrr!

Have your blood sugar levels returned to normal Cafe - if they're over 7.8 it may mean the Boot Camp! gringringrin

Hey Bluey - glad you're back & hi to Mini & Stars & Mrs too smile

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 11:26:27

grin Mexican bat

Gordon's is in London, there's a better cave in Mexico though

How was bouncy date party? Are all children accounted for?

My bm is always above 7.8! yikes

Bluey, does sound exhausting.. Is a job share type arrangement possible? They have to make reasonable adjustments and consider reasonable requests for working hours etc. yadayada

21 already!? But themidwife you are a powerhouse of youth and hot blondeness, baby extracting deltoids glistening in the sun like um, erm, bo derek .. 21 *faints at thought of DS getting any bigger than he already is

Off to buy heston's ice cream...

Minimammoth Sun 28-Jul-13 11:37:50

Blimey Cafe have looked up diatomaceous earth, and it will seemingly cure me of everything and rid my garden/ house of pests! Probably keep away vampires, zombies and HM revenue and customs as well. grin you can keep your grade A desserts, am off to order a large bag.

themidwife Sun 28-Jul-13 11:50:57

Tell us how you get on Mini - may add it to the large selection of supplements on my work top! smile

Deltoids glistening - I like the sound of that - yes sometimes they are necessary - google McRoberts Manoeuvre & you'll see what I mean!

Glad to say the bouncy party was a great success & a young teeny gorgeous Polish yummy mummy guest did seem genuinely flabbergasted that I also have a 21 year old son yeah yeah just being polite! He himself (diet of beer, fags, curry, biscuits & chips) jokes that we will meet someone in the middle when he's 30 & people will think we're siblings. Note to self to lose 3 stone & have a face lift by then! gringrin

You do make me larf Cafe - you cheer us all up you lovely thing you! thanksthanks

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 21:08:48

I imagine themidwife petting me like a labradoodle puppy as she says Im a lovely thing grin and then throwing a tub of ice cream across the park which I dash off to fetch

grin at HMRC


you cannot take our magic powder, you'll blind all the new mums with your dazzling cinderella hair (think it's mainly silica, which makes your hair fabulous and makes mini stop itching)

just google McRoberts - argh! scary!

speaking of babies, anyone else think baby cambridge is a little on the gremlin like side of cute? I'm sure he'll grow up to improve, but oh my!

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 21:09:42

(remembers this is not in chat and won't disappear, has visions of being hunted down by corgis for commenting on a less-than-week-old baby)

themidwife Sun 28-Jul-13 21:47:13

Oorrrrfffff with your head Cafe!!


He looked a bit red & pinched - I was looking carefully for the forceps marks or ventouse chignon but maybe those male obstetricians managed to sit on their hands?!! Kate wasn't walking like John Wayne!!

Lustrous Cindarella hair you say? <goes off to order job lot> smile

MrsShrek3 Sun 28-Jul-13 21:56:16

sorry about skim reading last four posts, utterly pmsl at mini (hmrc)grin grin

themidwife Sun 28-Jul-13 21:58:51

Do you think it would work on the CSA too?!!!

Minimammoth Sun 28-Jul-13 22:10:19

Probably, they are classified as members of the undead aren't they. Apparently if I take Diatomaceous Earth, not only will my health improve but I will be untroubled by red spider mite, or slugs and snails.

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 22:35:41

I fear my medical aptitude may be questionable I shall prescribe earth, krill oil and ice cream to all my patients, after I graduate on 2 hours sleep and cramming by Bluey's cram-guides

maybe it will keep away the GMC *sprinkles earth everywhere

cafecito Sun 28-Jul-13 22:37:43

that was a brave choice of dress from Kate I thought themidwife.. so, so pale

and I discovered this accidentally while waiting for an occ health appt last week

tatler feb 2012 edition

so she was pregnant for.... 18 months

themidwife Sun 28-Jul-13 22:46:41

Wow - she really is another species!!

Although she went into hiding the last few weeks I didn't see any postnatal evidence of cankles or planet sized arse lucky cow

jynier Sun 28-Jul-13 23:52:08

Have been lurking; you lot are crazy - LOVE IT !!!

cafecito Mon 29-Jul-13 00:11:12

I am sure, from her hair, she is made entirely from diatomaceous earth

cafecito Mon 29-Jul-13 00:12:03

*waves to jynier smile

cafecito Mon 29-Jul-13 00:13:08

cankles and planet arse are definitely postnatal markers 3 and a half years postnatal

MrsShrek3 Mon 29-Jul-13 00:26:15

hey, jynier. unlurk and join the insanity.grin

MrsShrek3 Mon 29-Jul-13 05:01:23

too hot. and it appears my 4.44 wake up habit has returned hmm

themidwife Mon 29-Jul-13 06:32:40

Morning & also waves to Jynier smile

From now on Kate will be known as The Duchess of Diatomaceous Earth. Long may she gleam & swish!

I have all the postnatal markers permanently now I think!

Minimammoth Mon 29-Jul-13 09:05:54

Right.... I have ordered diatomaceous earth. I shall slowly turn into the duchess. As I am your little experiment Cafe, you had better give me some markers for the research.
Am seeing Dr on Wednesday, I will say nothing....
Wave and brew for Jynier, Kitty and everyone.

Minimammoth Mon 29-Jul-13 09:11:10

Just a thought though. Perhaps I should just eat my own eyeshadow, mineral make up etc. it must be the same stuff. Although more expensive. As you were. hmmgrin

themidwife Mon 29-Jul-13 09:22:16

I have some Green People Anti Age (how exactly?!) eyeliner you can nibble Mini!!

MrsShrek3 Mon 29-Jul-13 10:05:14

I thought maybe you put it on your face like a mudpack or summink, or grow your tomatoes in it..... you mean you eat it?shock whatthe?

themidwife Mon 29-Jul-13 10:55:02


Minimammoth Mon 29-Jul-13 13:06:54

here is all you need to know.

themidwife Mon 29-Jul-13 14:08:11

I went to the Blue Lagoon in Iceland last year & bathed in natural silica in a hot volcanic spring. I also used it as a face pack & inadvertently licked my lips - who knew it could work such wonders?!!

cafecito Mon 29-Jul-13 22:02:54

^ themidwife has spoken

it works! <blinded by dazzlement of themidwife's greatness>

*secretly very happy mini is my experiment. can I get published with this

I might order some myself, it might cure me of everything!

jynier Tue 30-Jul-13 01:52:20

I have just given sage advice on another thread ... why did I do that?

Actually, was so moved by Mary Robinson on Sunday's DID (such a brilliant woman!!!) and the memories of Vince Cable about his first wife on an older edition (he wears 2 wedding rings, y'know!) that I was trying to explain love. WTFDIK?

MrsBottesini Tue 30-Jul-13 23:26:29

<mrs s sneaks in wearing disguise of very old and very dead musician's bit on the side partner>

Minimammoth Wed 31-Jul-13 07:43:17

Are you celebrating something Mrs?
Cafe, do you have a control group? Otherwise the research won't hold up.

themidwife Wed 31-Jul-13 07:46:10

Uh oh - what did you say Jynier?!!! shock

Morning Mini!

Minimammoth Wed 31-Jul-13 07:59:51

Mornin' . I am trying to tackle the office of doom today ( using the term office is a bit misleading, it's little bigger than a cupboard with piles of paper that I laughingly call filing)

Minimammoth Wed 31-Jul-13 08:00:33

Hope Kitty is ok.

themidwife Wed 31-Jul-13 13:11:43

Good luck with the cupboard office Mini! Where is Kitty? Maybe the broadband isn't working yet!

cafecito Wed 31-Jul-13 13:25:13

This is my randomised control trial grin you are the gold standard of clinical trials, mini

my control group shall be on a placebo called Heston's ice cream (I am the control group)

You could also add some maca to your earth smoothies if you want to really dazzle DrQuinnMedicineWoman

Hello Jynier! Hello MrsBottesini! Hello themidwife! gnight johnboy

MrsBottesini Wed 31-Jul-13 14:43:16

<sends search party out for kitty>

ooh, I will join any control group, testers, anything involving food. My favourite f-word grin

Minimammoth Wed 31-Jul-13 17:44:21

My medication has arrived. It will kill creeping insects as well, I can put it down to stop carpet moth and we can feed it to the goats. 2 tablespoons are recommended, how I am going to get that own I don't know. It may have to involve gin.

themidwife Wed 31-Jul-13 18:10:21

Have you ever tried getting psyllium husk down? - heave heave!!!!

Minimammoth Wed 31-Jul-13 20:26:19

Can't do psyllium husk, def heave. Guidance says to start with Half a teaspoon and build up. It's very gritty.
Have def got the itches tonight. On the stronger anti H. Suspect smoked fish this time. Sigh.
Did not get very far with the office/ cupboard. Having trouble with me piles.

themidwife Wed 31-Jul-13 22:05:06

Perhaps it works on piles too! gringrin

themidwife Wed 31-Jul-13 22:07:15

Can you hide it in a juice/smoothie? That's the only way I can get psyllium down. When I did fasts in India & had to take psyllium 3 times a day to stop the hunger I had to do it literally 1/4 tsp at a time in a big glass of water!
Maybe dilute it much more?

jynier Wed 31-Jul-13 22:49:06

Hi, guys! Have such memories of psyllium husk! It's good for you, Mini!

All bear in mind that SummerDad started this thread because he couldn't sleep; where is he?

Talking of piles ... !

We will all be fine because we have a doctor on here and cafe will mend us!

MrsBottesini Wed 31-Jul-13 23:17:35

what a pain in the @rse mini

jynier Wed 31-Jul-13 23:57:54

Still can't use laptop for very long as it is overheating; no signal here in Camberwick Green so can't use fancy new 'phone either (got a very cheap deal from TalkTalk! Not much point really!)

Selfish kids have not yet updated equipment so am still in limbo but thrilled to catch up with you all - don't know MrsBottesini <sending welcoming wave!>

Thinking of you all, guys! Laptop is burning my leg (that's how I know it's time to switch off!) G'bye!

MrsBottesini Thu 01-Aug-13 01:52:18

eeek acute hotleg shock cafe, quick!! wink

jynier Thu 01-Aug-13 03:16:31

Have returned to try and express my anger, fury and despair at the death of poor little Daniel Pelka, just 4 years old! What would you do if you saw a little child, emaciated and with two black eyes, scavenging for food?

F*****g disgusting! Didn't anyone learn anything from the death of Baby Peter?

RIP, little Daniel; xxx

cafecito Thu 01-Aug-13 03:26:23

utter tragedy Jynier. I read it some weeks back and can't bring myself to read it again. sad

cafecito Thu 01-Aug-13 03:26:29

acute hotleg you say - I had a bleep - I haven't done that module yet grin

actually did you know you can get permanent marks on legs etc if exposed to heat sources?

maybe earth will fix it!

themidwife, I see you have various secret pasts grin I have never had psyllium husks nor fasted in India nor have anti ageing eyeliner. I will never be thecafe

snivel snivel sniff

cafecito Thu 01-Aug-13 03:28:07

mini - please do let me know you are alive after my little science experiment grin blush

MrsBottesini Thu 01-Aug-13 06:34:54

pmsl thecafe
or even thecafedoctor (sounds like an Aussie soap?)

could do with you round here tbh, dd up squealing with I can't remember what this time sore ankles, then ds2 with cramp in his left foot. Do we know what causes cramp btw? I know all the tales about sodium etc but how true? Muscles are allegedly "my thing" - used to know loads... gone a bit rusty these days I think. sigh.
so anyway I've knocked them out with calpol fixed my little darlings. But I'm awake. and that means hungry grin

themidwife Thu 01-Aug-13 07:24:50

Lmao Cafe - of course you are thecafe to us! One day you'll be our THEDOCTOR too! We will be so proud! can we come to graduation?
Cramp? Errrrr! I usually blag that one & tell them to stretch! blush

Minimammoth Thu 01-Aug-13 08:20:17

Quinine, as in tonic and magnesium are meant help cramp.
Bracing myself for first DE dose. It needs a follow up with plenty of water.
Will come back to sootikins clinic later.

themidwife Thu 01-Aug-13 08:29:44

She is alive!!!!

Minimammoth Thu 01-Aug-13 09:04:40

Am still alive. Had my first grit drink. Will keep you posted with not too much graphic detail. My insides needed a good sandpapering. I will be all shiney inside.

themidwife Thu 01-Aug-13 10:13:21

Hmmm - thinking face & bum/thighs scrub too?!!! smile

Minimammoth Thu 01-Aug-13 13:33:45

I think it would make an excellent skin scrub, it's just like a very fine sand. Could do heels, elbows, knees, just add a little olive oil, I reckon.

themidwife Thu 01-Aug-13 16:32:18

Marvellous! Multi purpose dirt!

cafecito Thu 01-Aug-13 20:38:56

<little worried that I advised a patient on the interweb to drink sand> thestruckoff

sootikins clinic grin

hmm cramp, could be allsorts, not following any D&v type episode is it? in which case a slosh of dioralyte might help- can be lack of sodium, lack of potassium.. it can be a lack of calcium too.
it can also be as mini rightly says a magnesium deficiency.

or, maybe just dehydrated in this weather? ^ increase water intake. magic water

and yes stretching too

cafecito Thu 01-Aug-13 20:40:01

I am now advocating fiddling with electrolytes on a DIY basis

oh dear

Minimammoth Thu 01-Aug-13 20:58:09

Don't worry Cafe. I have a history of dabbling in weird alternatives, and will not sue you at all. Also am my own woman and not your patient<strokes Cafe's head> tis ok.< am still giving it a go though> not half as scary as a friend who did one of those severe liver detoxes involving drinking olive oil, cider vinegar and the like.

cafecito Thu 01-Aug-13 21:42:43

you're all my patients, this is sootikins clinic grin but I will let you pretend you have autonomy mini grin

bleeeurgh at drinking olive oil (does help with gallstones though..). I remember doing what we are not meant to do (hides from themidwife) and drinking castor oil when very pregnant. yuckyuckyuck I can still taste it when I think of it

cafecito Thu 01-Aug-13 21:43:09

it didn't even work! yucky

Minimammoth Thu 01-Aug-13 21:51:25

Ok. Retires to bed and awaits check for vital signs.
So far am still alive and have not passes any sand pies.grin

cafecito Thu 01-Aug-13 23:36:09

you, my wonder, shall pass only sandcastles


I think a combination of heat, caffeine and custard have sent me stranger than usual


how is everyone?

MrsBottesini Fri 02-Aug-13 00:40:01

wehey. Fellow insane insomniac. thelunatic wink

why not wrap your chips in sandpaper and eat that? and where are you going to erm deposit your sandcastles? should we all come with our buckets and spades? (vom) You really must put a flag in it tho, tis tradition.

given ds2 cramploonyboy tonic water. (no gin in it. yet.) also going back on his calcium meds, see if that works. he is dairy free and although he has plenty substitutes and a fantastically balanced diet , I still worry. tbh I think it is all down to a mahoosive growth spurt. he is only a couple of inches shorter than ds1 who is three yrs older than him. And his feet are two sizes bigger than ds1. he always reminds me of one of those pups with the big eyes and huge paws, that they sort of grow into eventually. grin

any more wake ups with wails and screams tonight and they're getting the gin to go with the bl%dy tonic grin

cafecito Fri 02-Aug-13 02:05:43

grin medication can cause cramps too, if he's on any at the moment

I have just sat here and made myself feel like an underachieving lump for some reason I am not studying I am wasting time on the internet and realised by reading some superfluous rubbish re olsen twins (talk about growing into features, there) that my ex flatmate is now a super fashion designer person in the US and my other ex flatmate from same house produced an oscar winning movie a couple years ago. I lived with them waaay back in 2005. they are much much much much much much cooler than me

[not sure whether to smile or cry] grin

cafecito Fri 02-Aug-13 02:06:29

<checks self into sootikins clinic for intensive therapy>

cafecito Fri 02-Aug-13 02:11:17

I really can't believe this exists

I must prescribe myself some sleeping pills soon for I am polluting my brian with useless things

Minimammoth Fri 02-Aug-13 08:04:38

Ooo er hmm. Can we change our title next time please, people will get the wrong idea.
Getting ready for next sand drink.
Cafe have you got your boy with you? I remember you were planning a trip this summer.
Mrs. I actually wonder what age boys do inhabit their bodies fully and get to know how to operate them. Myself and various friends often hear the ' I was just passing and it fell off' comment.

themidwife Fri 02-Aug-13 08:38:56

I think boys finally grow into & learn to inhabit their bodies at around age 33. I always think the age that Jesus Christ was supposed to have died is the age most men not all finally grow up! gringringrin

Sandcastle pie eh? Definitely needs a flag in it!

I have had the worst period & associated cramps & headache of my life. Awful awful awful incident in the cinema yesterday whilst wearing shorts. Need I say more? blushblushblush

I don't want to be a girl anymore.

Minimammoth Fri 02-Aug-13 10:16:07

Oooh Midwife. How horrible for you. Here is my list of oddness to possibly help period pain. Avoid chocolate (I know). Try motherwort herbal tincture. Also homeopathy< prepares to be relegated to loonydom> I found it helped. Growl scream and cry.

MrsBottesini Fri 02-Aug-13 10:58:41

duvet day, themidwife thanks
(Mirena fixed it for me wink )

we've got a few days at the parents cottage (dh working numerous daft shifts and we wouldn't see him we've abandoned the poor sod instead [badwife] ) But it's peeeeeeing it down. really really chucking it down. sigh. three kids, two parents and lots of rain. fabhmm

cafecito Fri 02-Aug-13 13:56:37

I have really heavy periods (tmi much) it's awful, lasts nearly a week, need to use night pads and extra super tampax at the same time shock end up really anaemic. once it went on for months, then I self medicated and it disappeared for 5 months, only to return as usual.

how's your thyroid? any pcos stuff? agree contraception helps, eg combined pill. or pregnancy, that will reduce it grin

sootikins clinic first consultation over

boys grow into their bodies by 42

second consultation over

mine will often say 'but mummy, I did not throw it, it fell from my hand...'

cafecito Fri 02-Aug-13 13:57:09

I have never tried homeopathy, mini

cafecito Fri 02-Aug-13 14:00:52

and yes and no in answer to your qu. I am not planning an exciting trip anywhere but we are 'holidaying' in London grin it's difficult ducking from the wrath of the ex, his parents though. I am pretty super stressed - happy days

themidwife Sat 03-Aug-13 00:11:02

Much better today but lost my mooncup round the cinema u bend yesterday hence the drama! Bye bye £22. "Feminine hygiene" machine not working. Glad it was dark! shock

I was sterilised last year & my periods have been mammoth every since. Sigh. Don't want hormone contraceptives. Will try homeopathy though. I had spiritual healing about 15 years ago for the same problem (1st H had a vasectomy so no need for contraception) which really worked - no more pain & flooding for years. Now it's back. Perhaps I've angered the spirits. Somehow.

Headache continues. sad

MrsBottesini Sat 03-Aug-13 20:36:42

spirits are for drinking wink

themidwife Sat 03-Aug-13 20:40:30

On call - no spirits of either sort here!

starsandunicorns Sat 03-Aug-13 20:59:54

Waves to all been so busy at work starlet is back and has watched 11 hollyoaks esps in two sitting she even has geordie shore on sky planner had a good day today with starlet and dp in next towm going around charity shops starlet spent 40 pounds with out breaking in to a sweat!!!! I am waiting for earth thing too to see if it stops me getting bite oh and starlet has just taken dafty dog for a walk and has brought back a puppy with no collar that was running into the road sigh she is pretty but we off in a minute to knock and doors then phone the pound

starsandunicorns Sat 03-Aug-13 21:15:05

Baby dafty dog owners been found starlet is now heartbroken sigh

Minimammoth Sat 03-Aug-13 21:44:04

Well that's 2 of us on Cafe's special research project then Stars. I am still alive. Tail wagging and nose wet.
How many little Georgie's have been born this week Midwife?
We have just come back from visit to FIL. He is still v. wobbly but is managing on sticks. He just wants to be looked after. MIL (dementia) is strong and full of beans. Very waring.

starsandunicorns Sat 03-Aug-13 22:05:43

Oh bless you mini ..dont think im brave enough to make a drink out of that earth stuff though will chuck on bed mattsress and around sofa

Minimammoth Sat 03-Aug-13 22:38:24

Now that would be good bear foot medicine. Hooverbag fluff, cures everything. grin
Just me on the experiment then.shuffles back to cage.

Minimammoth Sat 03-Aug-13 22:39:04

Barefoot. Not bloody bearfoot.

starsandunicorns Sat 03-Aug-13 22:54:02

Ok mini just read up on it I will cure my crap haor my crap nail my lumpy skin my age spots detox me and may make my farts smell less well telling dp all this he said drink the dam stuff women so waiting for it arrive so in a day or too I too will be drinking mud < grin>

jynier Sat 03-Aug-13 23:24:36

Just dropping in; see that you are all getting more intimate!

Sorry for all your trials and tribulations; hope that all works out well!

Beautiful night sky here in Camberwick Green and am hoping to see the start of the August meteor shower (am such a geek)!

Best wishes to you all; can't post very much (same old problem with laptop)!

starsandunicorns Sat 03-Aug-13 23:34:47

Fans jyniers laptop

jynier Sat 03-Aug-13 23:52:01

Ha ha ha! Thank you, stars!

Remember the horror (and embarrassment) of dreadfully heavy periods! You youngsters have my sympathy!!!

Gotta go now - burning leg!

themidwife Sun 04-Aug-13 06:00:31

Hi Jynier - I wouldn't mind but I'm not young either!

Maybe some dirt would help? How are you getting on Mini?

Minimammoth Sun 04-Aug-13 09:58:13

Missed yesterday as I was away, but it's easy to drink, doesn't taste of anything, so not disgusting or gloopy, just gritty. I suspect it will be months down the line before I notice any differences. Wish I had had a cholesterol check though, as its supposed to lower it.
I agree with Jynier, life without periods is a blessing, when you get over the hot flushes, no memory, crap hair, droopy bits etc.

jynier Mon 05-Aug-13 00:17:25

Risked severe thigh burn to see what you're all up to!!!

MrsBottesini Mon 05-Aug-13 02:38:16

shock thighburn

are you all asleep again ?

themidwife Mon 05-Aug-13 07:58:04

Yup! We are useless insomniacs!!

starsandunicorns Mon 05-Aug-13 09:24:46

Shuffles in taking dd to cahms today feeling srressed sigh

themidwife Mon 05-Aug-13 21:09:23

How did it go Stars? thanks

cafecito Mon 05-Aug-13 22:04:04

<peers in to check on experiments>

cafecito Mon 05-Aug-13 22:07:07

stars - how was today?

themidwife - I am an excellent insomniac. I was awake til 6am shock with a migraine <maybe I need earth> and was then woken up by very koud building works at 8.30. I have now had so much caffeine and MSG (sweet and sour, mmm) I don't see myself sleeping for some months

kitty - thought of you as I bought some fifties tops (for hospital ing, innit) in a retro store on sunday. bare below the elbows etc..

cafecito Mon 05-Aug-13 22:07:23


starsandunicorns Mon 05-Aug-13 22:30:08

Hello all well upshot is she is refusing couniclling sigh plus I have been made out to be a helicopter parent we had much eye rolling which carried on while buying her a school blazer though.did try not to smile when she realised that.a pair of school trousers from new look were aged 12 yrs, shes got growing pains again too but cant have parcetmol could she have ibrupon

starsandunicorns Mon 05-Aug-13 22:32:41

Oh and my bankbalance has died a death plus anyone understand why the child benfit has started 2 weeks after we had her ie she came over on the 1/7. But c/b stating its starts from 14th I called Up on the 2nd

jynier Tue 06-Aug-13 00:35:25

So sorry, everyone! Have to be quick!

Anyone up for a virtual party on next bank holiday? Last one was such a damp squid but the first one ROCKED!!! (and rolled! as believe some of you <nameless> crawled out from under the tables and we found a baby asleep on a bed of balloons!)

Cafe excelled with her doctoriness (just made up the word but she was good!).

Gotta go! Thigh's burning!

Best wishes to you all - no time to post more!

MrsBottesini Tue 06-Aug-13 00:45:54

hi jynier now known as hot-thighs wink
stars, tax cred and cb admin are from (and on) another planet. totally devpid of logic. ring em and bollock them ask?
cafe, yay, awake for months, come ramble with me grin

kitty....where's kitty gone sad ? confused hope all is ok in kittycity.

Tmw and mini, what are y'all up to? and who switchex the bleeping rain on? is it you lot eating mud?

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 01:06:03

wiiiide awake and hyper, popping out for some juice (no, real juice)

I don't understand child anything hmm sorry stars, no idea, probably somewhere to do with when her father stopped receiving it? um. not sure. or they might have a processing time.

hot thighs jynier grin shall have to rock some hot pants

I saw a girl's bum cheeks today at charing x station in some hot pants, they were wafty and voluminous as she bent down to pick up a sandwich

I felt old and prudish but did the Margaret-from-apprentice one eyebrow raise at a fellow queue-er who witnessed the incident

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 01:07:53

stars, I'd avoid painkillers as much as poss tbh but sure the recommended dose as a one off of ibuprofen would be okay
helicopter parent? for being supportive, no? hmm can't win grin shame she won't think about counselling. I hated family therapy (can you tell, I had isshoos) but one to one was pretty helpful for me at her age

MrsBottesini Tue 06-Aug-13 01:13:05

loopy juice caféwink

fwiw stars nobody wants therapy if they are told they need it.... is there a door-ajar system for when if she changes her mind a few months down the track? and can you go back and meet with someone at camhs without dd to find out more about how they can help you to support her iyswim?

MrsBottesini Tue 06-Aug-13 01:55:39

cafe and anyone else hyperactive, you still here?

jynier Tue 06-Aug-13 02:05:45

Yep, MrsB! - Am here in short doses! You ok?

Think that I prefer "Hot Legs" a la Tina Turner; she copied all my moves, y'know!

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 02:08:44

yes not hyperactive enough to pop next door to my 24 hour shop for juice despite peach squash cravings hmm classy, me

pmsl at jynier as tina turner grin wowzers, you never know who you might meet on the internet!

how are you, Mrs?

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 02:09:34

I am wondering what hand-me-downs my 15 year old sister would like (probably NONE) grin what is trendy these days? jynier pants?

MrsBottesini Tue 06-Aug-13 02:49:27

HotThighsPants wink blimeygrin
<passes round fake tan>

there's FA on the telly at this hour. sigh. not bored enough to sleep. Had a few nights away at parents countryside cottage and three nights of more than 4hrs sleep shock ...that's me sorted for another six months then grin

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 03:22:04

grin I don't have a telly and yet somehow I manage to waste so many hours. I have been designing shoes on the internet. This will not write my dissertation, tidy my whole flat, prep for my next exams, prep for my new masters course, nor revise anything essential for life saving antics. But I have some pretty shoes online. hmm

oh I bought shorts the other day - HUGE mistake (!) it was the sunny day, y'know, Thursday. Oh my.

On a shallow note, I ran out of eye make up remover and just used olive oil - was excellent. I am going all holistic on you

Mrs - parental cottage sounds very swish, well done on the sleeping!

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 03:22:58

sorry, all of that was on a shallow note not just the olive oil part

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 03:24:31

I turn into some kind of werewolf creature after midnight, where I am the antithesis of myself in the day. In the day, I drink black coffee and don't eat anything less than super healthy salady fayre. At night I eat ice cream and drink fizzy stuff. In the day, I am sensible and never even look at some horror like a magazine for fear of it destroying my senses. At night, I design shoes and read gossip on the internet


themidwife Tue 06-Aug-13 07:02:45

Morning all! Hope Starlet feels age can go back to camhs at some point. My DS2 was like that - I spent years of my life trying to get help for him but he would go to one appt & then refuse. He now says "I did nothing for him". You can't win!

It happens to us all Cafe! I am daytime organic hippy smugness but last night in desperation I drank pims & cheap sugary ginger stuff. My teeth ached. I also had a jacket potato with beans & cheese & mayonnaise. Bloat!!

I've ordered some mud. Perhaps that will sort me out!

DD & Spider cat harassed me all night - am tired sad

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 07:29:45

Morning all yes I was told to leave her alone to stop checking up on her ffs maybe do it every couple of hours if she hasnt come out of hervbedroom the door is open for her if she wants to go again for counicling the women did look at me when we spoke of family ie were is everyone ie who lives in here who did dd live with before why did I leave dd mentioned dd1 so we did the very short version of that tale placed a cold fannal on her knee which seemed to work ref her growing pains back at work forgot my coffee grrr looks like we will all be eating mud <grin>

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 07:58:16

Lordy has it rained! I have been mostly chained to desk and tortured with vat. Did venture to city yesterday to find wedding outfit < sales on> son is getting wed October. Got there, found outfit, squeezed self into it, thought it would be ok if I lose half a stone, got to pay desk, no purseblush. So have to go back today to pick it up. this, with jacket and pill box hat only I am at least 2 sizes bigger than this model.

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 08:03:52

Tis the Jekyll and Hyde diet Cafe. Stars hope your DD settles,mi guess the refusing counselling is a 'there's nothing wrong with me' statement. I guess she has to 'get' that you will be there and strong for her, it will take a bit of time.
I too hope Kitty is ok.

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 10:37:26

Mini loving the dress think starlet is doing if I dint think about it it will go away
< opens a tin of tuna to see if that will bring kitty back to thread>

MrsBottesini Tue 06-Aug-13 10:41:39

pmsl @ opening tuna grin

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 10:45:44


themidwife Tue 06-Aug-13 15:43:58

Beautiful dress mini!!

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 17:49:32

Thanks Midwife and Stars, I have just somehow got to get myself a waist. Between now and then.

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 17:55:46

Omg my box has arrived the tube of mud is massive 2:5 kg gulp so mini tell me how many spoon fuls do u use with how much water <wimbble> also got a letter from child benfite the person who had pervoius care can keep up to 3 weeks worth of child benfite but the letter says it has been declined so we the weeks back <strokes bank balance there there not long now> ponders if I could sprinkle mud on bank balance to help it

themidwife Tue 06-Aug-13 18:50:54

Mine has arrived too but only bought 500g. It looks like cement mix! shock

themidwife Tue 06-Aug-13 18:52:43

Maybe one of those Jane Fonda feel the burn videos will work? Failing that - a spin class every day for a couple of months should do it! smile

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 19:33:56

I think I could cope with a tube of 500g think dp thinks im going to skim the walls with mine the tube is huuuuge I tell you

whispers (and it keeps looking at me too and not in a nice way like ohhh stars come and eat me its more like come on then if you think your hard enough) wimmbles a little more

themidwife Tue 06-Aug-13 20:12:42

I'm a bit scared too! grin

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 20:18:35

Well a week in and I am still here. It's not like the disgusting psyllium husks. It's just well er... sand. Cafe will be along to check our vital signs.

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 20:19:19

Oh have it on an empty stomach and drink plenty of water.

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 20:29:01

a spin class every day for a couple of months


cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 20:30:55

I have an S3 beat

oh. sorry, those are my vital signs. I am not sure if it's cos I'm young and fit and splendid, or cos I am rather decrepid and in heart failure. ho hum

perils of stethoscope in the house

I have also bought the earth, but a small one smaller than a bottle of squash [scared]

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 20:32:16

I am not fit and splendid and am not young either. A girl today served me and said 'you used to be blonde! you've dyed your hair!' I was like, er no, maybe those were white hairs grin blush

mini that dress is divine!!! It's my very favourite colour and it's such a stunning cut! wow!

themidwife Tue 06-Aug-13 20:57:33

So we all have the dirt! I will have a go tomorrow morning but if I have to be resuscitated halfway through my clinic tomorrow I'll ask them to call Cafe. She'll know what to do!

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 21:11:27

Im saving mine till the weekend as I have to walk across the warehouse and go up two filghts of stairs at work to the loo just incase the thing is my tube has all the stuff about killing bugs etc on it it is defo food grade mine is diaguard food grade diatomaceous earth natural insect control please could someone double check I have the right one its the insect control bit that got me worried. Looks for helpful person who isnt dislexyic like me

themidwife Tue 06-Aug-13 21:18:32

I think if it says food grade it's ok?
Mine is Peruvian! Significant?!!

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 21:51:04

Oh midwife think you have the waitrose verison while I have the farmfoods ones hehe

MrsBottesini Tue 06-Aug-13 22:17:49

just plant your tomatoes in it, told you. Bet you were all mud pie makers as kids too grin
throw a stone or so my way will yer wink (specially welcome if it includes boobage)

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 22:23:08

Mine is DiatomX human grade. I think I can still be classified as human. Think it is from Peru, it also has all the kills pests stuff on.

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 22:24:50

Graps her little hills in fear of Mrs nicking them. Well just read more from the company that I got mine from and its from Peru too (no Paddington bear hiding in the box though) #dissappointed

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 22:26:14

The diaguard looks ok Stars. You will flourish, be gone red spider-mite, no flies on us wink

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 22:27:22

I was the chief mud pie maker on my street plus my homemade perfum ( made from rose petalsi have you know) so brill it sold for 10pence a jamjar

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 22:27:41

There's big hills in Peru.

Minimammoth Tue 06-Aug-13 22:30:10

Not sure we are going to lose weight on this Mrs. My aim is calming my immune system, so fewer itchy lump night. Hoping for better less dry skin /hair too.

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 22:33:13

Haha mini just dont want to be bitten anymore or go lumpy I have some friday night off to see big sister on sat who is proper clever see does those sudoka puzzles and knows science stuff and everything!!! and see what she thinks of it

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 22:37:09

My sister will either start talking at 1000 words a minute or be stony slient and raise one eyebrow

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 22:48:01

I suspect she will do the latter, stars grin don't tell her some medic on the interweb said it was sound grin [clutches career] yes sounds fine to me, don't inhale it though!

I am hoping if I take it, I will have kate middleton hair within a week, more energy, and the radiance of themidwife

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 22:49:16

now, I have a story of boobage being thrown away

it involved chicken fillets and a dinner party

cafecito Tue 06-Aug-13 22:49:53

and a helpful chap who kept topping my glass up til I set fire to father Christmas

starsandunicorns Tue 06-Aug-13 22:54:48

Lol cafe I can never be sure with sister though one I have learnt is never I mean tell her your poorly as she runs to the internet or her books though she is brill with medcation she has bi polar and knows all the anti desprants when I was on them she would quiz me
Sister says which ones do you have stars
I say errr yellow and purple ones
sister says yes dear what are they called just spell it
you would hear rustling of pages of books etc

jynier Tue 06-Aug-13 23:43:36

Please be quick, cafe, with the story; leg is burning!!!

So sorry to all the rest of you; simply have no time for heartfelt messages ...

C'mon cafe! (Switching off but will return later when the laptop has cooled down!)

MrsBottesini Wed 07-Aug-13 00:14:06

hey HotThighs wink are you making mud pies too?
what's this? Burnt Father Christmas shock and a chicken fillet? No turkey? confused wine wine

cafecito Wed 07-Aug-13 01:50:52

Oops, I forgot Iwas telling a story
Erm. It was a philosophers very proper thanksgiving dinner party. There was a Santa. For some time. It was all very naice they went to much trouble to throw said party.
On iPad sorry.
Um. I recall dancing in the sink
and awakening in a bed in a room with two random people
With my bra and some clothes folded beside me
And my chicken fillets neatly and symmetrically on the pillow
My shoes were missing as were my trousers. I had to do a proper walk of shame. I was never invited again. blush

cafecito Wed 07-Aug-13 01:54:08

There was a photo of Father Christmas's acrylic beard in flames and I seem to recall vomiting on the steps outside the beautiful period property while a fire alarm went off. My then boyfriend, a lovely innocent boy, bought me a breathalyser for my birthday soon after.hmm.

themidwife Wed 07-Aug-13 06:03:36

Oh Cafe!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!


starsandunicorns Wed 07-Aug-13 06:32:10

Omg lmao cafe I luves you

MrsBottesini Wed 07-Aug-13 08:30:22


Minimammoth Wed 07-Aug-13 09:14:27

Cafe, i am sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation grin
How has the morning mud drink gone down?
I did a desert spoon today. Not so bad drunk fast.
Midwife, I am too old to spin. One has to maintain ones dignity.

MrsBottesini Wed 07-Aug-13 09:31:26

eww. just eww. I do hope you crazy lot have swishy hair, perfect immune systems and gorgeous skin after all this. and probably tomatoes and spuds growing out of your ears

starsandunicorns Wed 07-Aug-13 11:11:49

Hey Mrs didnt know that tomatoas growing out ears is a new trend hehehe

themidwife Wed 07-Aug-13 16:42:02

I forgot! Will try tomorrow!! gringrin

MrsBottesini Wed 07-Aug-13 22:52:46

oi sleepaholics and rubbish insomniacs, anyone around tonight?

we are still up with itchyscratchy dd. and no sign of things changing...the one time I've forgotten to give her antihistamine first thing in the morning since April, and she' s covered an a rash. sigh. Have given her antihistamine now but stable door and bolting horse I fear hmm all hot and itchy.
drCafe and LumpyMini any more suggestions? contemplated double antihistamine (bad mother alert) have done cool bath of just water and no soap, E45, don't think oats any use for this. double sigh. calpol to knock the bugger out? confused

MrsBottesini Wed 07-Aug-13 23:47:12

new wine discovered. red wine and indian tonic water. lush. (the drink, not me)
staying up with dd has its good points.

themidwife Thu 08-Aug-13 04:58:02

Hi Mrs! Red wine & tonic sounds yum! Will try it!

Have you tried bathing her in bicarbonate of soda? Chuck half a tub into a cool bath. (For serious rashes/spots like chicken pox make a paste with the rest & apply to spots afterwards too)

I think that will take the itch away & calm things down a lot.

Hope she let you sleep! smile

Minimammoth Thu 08-Aug-13 07:03:46

Sorry not to be around Mrs. How old is your dd? I find that sometimes taking pain killers helps. It maybe just psychological but I find drinking calming tea such as chamomile or one of the night time ones helps. My GP has said take another antiH if its bad but I am nt sure how this would be for a child. You could ask your GP for a different anti H. I have one of the old fashioned ones that seems to act quicker but is v. Drowsy making , I only take this if I am bad at night. The bicarbonate bath sound a good idea.

MrsBottesini Thu 08-Aug-13 10:31:49

hehe thanks ladies. she gave in eventually, helped by the calpol fairy and a new pink crop top hmm which kept her cool. More antiH this morning which should see it off. And no contact with grass... (ds1 mowed the lawn yesterday and we all did weeding, durr) Couldn't she have chosen something less common than sodding grass to be allergic to confused

MrsBottesini Thu 08-Aug-13 10:33:03

ps putting the bicarb bath idea in my collection of allergy symtom remedies. ta muchly.

themidwife Thu 08-Aug-13 10:33:43

I'm allergic to grass & hay so I feel her pain! sad

Minimammoth Thu 08-Aug-13 21:57:42

Is anyone around. I have been on the bra thread trying to sort out proper sizing, and have spent most of today either at the computer or decorating so I am hunched and paint splattered.
Cafe how long do you reckon we should drink this sand before we see results.

starsandunicorns Thu 08-Aug-13 22:00:35

I here not for long as hip hurt loads so need to see a osterpath I was on one of those bra threads I have baby mountains now <grin>

Minimammoth Thu 08-Aug-13 22:29:01

Sorry to hear about your hip. Osteo sound good idea. I think I might have v. baby hills too. I have yet to try the scooping though, seems like most of my boo age will be under my arms and round the back grin

Minimammoth Thu 08-Aug-13 22:29:42

Boobage. Strangely the iPad doesn't accept the word.

themidwife Thu 08-Aug-13 22:37:02

What issues do you have with boobage/bras ladies?

MrsBottesini Thu 08-Aug-13 22:39:20

grin @ computer not knowing mnspeak like boobage... paint spalttered hunchback, oh you make yourself sound sooooo attractive wink
eww to sore hips and sorw backs. sympathy + wine / brew /thanks to all who need them.

dd still up and still spottylumpy itching. ffs. drs tomorrow if she is still rash-covered.

MrsBottesini Thu 08-Aug-13 22:40:26

ooh yhemidwife, have you not yet been enlightened on the bra thread? shock grin

themidwife Thu 08-Aug-13 22:44:20

Nope - where is it?

themidwife Thu 08-Aug-13 22:47:05

PS Forgot sand again today!

Minimammoth Thu 08-Aug-13 22:51:03

Bra thread here . I have been given various bra sizes, never feel they give me a good shape, one shoulder always falls off < am lopsided lumpy mini > am not that big. And they creak when I do yoga.
Tsk Midwife, I managed. Level tablespoon today.

Minimammoth Thu 08-Aug-13 22:54:24

Is little botty's rash all over Mrs, sending calming vibes.

starsandunicorns Thu 08-Aug-13 23:10:03

Oh poor little botty oh one warrington thread I mentioned burtonwood and newton le willows but they just going on about the south end of the warrington are you local to me Mrs

MrsBottesini Thu 08-Aug-13 23:15:09

shhhhhhh stars wink inbox thanks

MrsBottesini Thu 08-Aug-13 23:16:23

I need to change my name back. I pmsl every time I see "little botty" grin grin [childish] [despicableme2]grin

starsandunicorns Thu 08-Aug-13 23:17:56

Little botty is a fab name <grin>

starsandunicorns Thu 08-Aug-13 23:18:48

Oh I cant inbox on phone and it never works

themidwife Fri 09-Aug-13 07:26:44

Have pm'd you mini - I know someone who will be the answer to all your bra problems! The queen of the hilly bras!

themidwife Fri 09-Aug-13 07:27:47

Talking of Despicable Me 2 - anyone else got a crush on Gru?! blush

MrsBottesini Fri 09-Aug-13 09:42:42

wink the mw, my friend came with us to the cinema and said the same. my dses now think they're minions tho and "bottom...heheeeee" is the fave catchphrase hmm

themidwife Fri 09-Aug-13 10:10:29

Snigger!! wink

themidwife Fri 09-Aug-13 10:11:26

Snigger!! wink

jynier Sat 10-Aug-13 23:59:03

Hi, guys!

This is probably uninteresting to most of you but there is the most amazing clear sky tonight over Camberwick Green! Perfect conditions for the meteor shower which will peak on Monday night!

Just saying ... !

MrsBottesini Sun 11-Aug-13 00:49:37

oooh I'm off out to look if there is any such stuff round here. Will be in the north east from tomorrow and so far away from everywhere that we are guaranteed no light pollution if we can get a nice clear sky. Must watch! (interesting how us night owls love the night sky too wink)

Minimammoth Sun 11-Aug-13 01:55:24

Anyone still awake?

Minimammoth Sun 11-Aug-13 02:43:59

Nope, ah well valerian tea, smelling next doors bonfire, not venturing out in Jamie's to look at stars. It's quiet, apart from the slurping.

themidwife Sun 11-Aug-13 12:55:05

Got up at 11am! blushblushblush

Minimammoth Sun 11-Aug-13 14:13:50


MrsBottesini Sun 11-Aug-13 15:28:12

I did nearly an all nighter. went to bed at 4.45 blush got up at 8. yay that's a lie in wink

themidwife Sun 11-Aug-13 16:19:38

I wasn't asleep wink

MrsBottesini Sun 11-Aug-13 16:43:36


themidwife Sun 11-Aug-13 17:01:39


MrsBottesini Mon 12-Aug-13 00:14:26

grin grin

cafecito Mon 12-Aug-13 00:16:08

I hope I haven't been bleeped, I left London for a disastrous sojourn which became unexpectedly lengthy. I didn't die from the earth.
How are we all?

cafecito Mon 12-Aug-13 00:26:09

Okay! good advice themidwife re bicarb. DS gets all itchy and lumpy (mini, is it YOU) grin in hot weather, has taken to sleeping in pants at most.

I was up all last night due to an 'asthma attack' from previously non-asthmatic person which I think was caused by allergy, lots of wheezing followed by 'you're supposed to know what to do, you're trying to kill me I am telling on you' hmm aside from an inhaler, maybe antihistamine, or a shot of adrenaline, not sure what I can make in the kitchen cupboard

day ended with my mother screaming at me in a city centre in public about how I am so disappointing, DS sobbing, etc etc. I realise my relationship with my ex P was an exact mirror of my relationship with my mother (controlling alcoholic psychopath) and I think for my sanity and for DS I will be going no contact. After all if not in her life, how can I be ruining her life confused

big sigh

cafecito Mon 12-Aug-13 00:34:45

no meteors here just a sort of murky hazy soot- nice!

how is everyone?

mini, not sure, would suggest 3 weeks

MrsBottesini Mon 12-Aug-13 00:43:08

blimey cafe sad hugs...

sky here awesome. middle of nowhere wink

cafecito Mon 12-Aug-13 00:50:07

I wonder what the sky is like in hippy hills!

I ended up in tears every day (!) secretly of course, and on the way back I was plotting my own demise shock I felt that terrible - but then the thought of them getting DS shock shock or ex P getting DS, meant I came to my senses after an hour or so of serious contemplation. argh. so toxic. won't go into details, but it's all unbelieeevable

how are you MrsBottesini!? I spy a nocturnal chat thread - I think ''sootikins'' must have confused everyone grin

jynier Mon 12-Aug-13 02:36:30

Am also sending hugs to cafe! Hope that you're feeling better now - we're all with you!!!

Just tried to add a smiley face; don't know how it works!


jynier Mon 12-Aug-13 02:38:50

Good grief! My very first emoticon, cafe!

Very best wishes to everyone on here smile smile smile

jynier Mon 12-Aug-13 02:49:42

Crikey! Will now try to get to grips with the new mobile 'phone; have had it for several months and have never used it!

smile smile smile smile smile smile

Not overdoing my latest grasp of modern technology, am I?

cafecito Mon 12-Aug-13 03:40:57

my emoticon usage is catching - perhaps douse it with sandy earth!

hello jynier! thanks. I am awake, dunking chocolate biscuits in my tea and thinking about buying bikes. not doing very much work. arh

jynier Mon 12-Aug-13 03:53:50

Hiya, cafe!

Will not be on here for very long; hope that life is not wearing you down too much! Best wishes to you and your DS from me and my burning leg!

Off outside now to (hopefully) see some meteors!

themidwife Mon 12-Aug-13 08:05:12

Oh Cafe - I'm so sorry you had a bad time! I'm on the Stately Homes thread (about toxic parents) Please join us as there are some amazingly supportive people there who will empathise completely.

I know we don't really "know" you in RL Cafe but I for one wish I did! You are funny, caring, witty, clever & we adore you!

Going no or low contact with has freed me from the manipulative people in my life & although it was scary it is like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders!

(I didn't notice the sky I'm afraid - I'm in a completely exhausted fog)

MrsBottesini Mon 12-Aug-13 21:14:45

thanks cafe.
fwiw we have gone no contact with one family member too (and her dh and offspring) and life is much less stressful for all of us. You and your ds don't need this shit dragging you down. You are fab, they're obv not wink Best things I've learned are you can't change other evil people and you're not responsible for them or for making the relationship work wink

themidwife Mon 12-Aug-13 21:31:59

Hear hear Mrs!

FOG - Fear Obligation Guilt - that's how toxic parents control us. If you can let go of those she will no longer have any power over your feelings.

Hope you're ok thanks

themidwife Mon 12-Aug-13 21:33:35

Hope Kitty is ok!

MrsBottesini Mon 12-Aug-13 23:18:59

Me too. PM'd her and iirc I linked the thread but not heard anything [Where'sTheWorriedEmoticon]

cafecito Tue 13-Aug-13 00:47:46

yes I miss kitty!

thanks for thoughts blush at me being nice. [twirls] my friend called me this eve and was asking me to go out for drinks, I was like.. no.. I am walking home from hours at the library in the summer holiday and I am buying choc digestives to have with a cup of tea [old gimmer]

cafecito Tue 13-Aug-13 00:47:57

so, I am strange..

cafecito Tue 13-Aug-13 00:52:57

I did go no contact before, for years, and it worked a treat. I was raised by my grandmother and moved out of everywhere by 11. I had a year. yes, a year, of full time therapy I was so disturbed by my early childhood and later by her madness. I wish I'd never let them get involved in my life again, but I had nowhere else as my gps had died and my exP was being terrible and violent and childcare everywhere let me down terribly. it was my lowest ebb and I thought she had changed.

argh. anyway - leopards, spots.. I think my stepfather is the one I really dislike, and I dislike her when she is around him because she drinks more and has a total personality change. It's as if she doesn't exist anymore confused

so- I am seeing a new nursery on Thursday and I feel better about stuff now I am back and have done a bit of work etc.

^sorry for the essay

MrsBottesini Tue 13-Aug-13 00:56:31

winkthat's more the summary ( well probably the abstract) than the essay smile

ditch em. good to hear you have made progress with new nursery smile

cafecito Tue 13-Aug-13 01:02:23

Ofsted outstanding and a vacancy <faints>

wine how are you today, Mrs?

cafecito Tue 13-Aug-13 01:04:38

do you know any child developmental psychology? I am meant to do this on my syllabus but think I missed that chunk blush what age are children most impressionable? I would hate for him to be exposed to anything that affects him long term. He's 3.5, I think another day year of lots of madness would be too much

jynier Tue 13-Aug-13 02:38:24

No, cafe! I am merely a mother and gm (oh! aunt to 12 and great-aunt to 9)!

Think that everyone should adopt my grandson's philosophy; he asked why I was taking my daily tablets? Replied that doctor had prescribed them. GS said, "Why take those, Grandma, when you can have doughnuts???" He's a genius!

My DD1 is a psychologist.

cafecito Tue 13-Aug-13 05:17:33

hmm. I had too much tea and biscuits. am wide awake. still.

your grandson really is a genius jynier, that's so funny grin DD1 a psychologist? that's really interesting stuff that I know nothing about

did you see the meteors?

Minimammoth Tue 13-Aug-13 22:29:48

Are you all out watching meteors? I have no idea officially whether there is a specific age for impressionability, but my own feeling is that children pick up things all the time they are developing, and each child is different in their sensitivity. So that is no help whatsoever. Just go on your gut feeling Cafe. (())

MrsBottesini Tue 13-Aug-13 23:14:32

Yes cafe done lots of developmental psych stuff. he's probably little enough for a lot of it (other people's random behaviours) to bounce off him and not remember too much. He's still very egocentric age-wise and play-wise. A good relationship and secure attachment with you is likely to be far more important imho. set boundaries and expectations yadda yadda and you're set. (not an expert btw) wink