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oooh i feel ridiculous

(442 Posts)
ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 20:21:41

So silly. I'm a NCing regular. and a real proper grown up, I swear

I fancy someone. But I cant get up the guts to let him know or even to contact him. I've added him on FB (it's taken me months to build up to that) and he accepted. he's liked a few of my posts and a photo. I keep seeing him online (butterflies) and want to make contact but cant think of anything to say that isn't a blatant excuse to get talking to him. AFAIK he's single- well it says so on his FB.

arrgh this is so frustrating. if this was my best friend she would be chatting away to him no problem.

don't know what i'm posting for- just need to get this out of my head.

Walkacrossthesand Fri 21-Jun-13 20:32:46

How do you know him? Friend of friend, work, hobby...

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 20:36:49

initially through a thing my dc attends, Im now friendly with one of his friends (also through the thing my dc attends) and I see him almost daily when he passes my house to go to work- also weekly at the activity.

allaflutter Fri 21-Jun-13 20:42:53

does he never attempt to chat to you? I think as you've made a first step adding him to FB, he should start talking - you both sound 14!grin

allaflutter Fri 21-Jun-13 20:43:24

I mean , it sounds like you meet a LOT, esp the weekly activity.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 20:49:47

"you both sound 14!" I know, it's ridiculous! blush

we chat in as much as saying "hi, how's it going" if we pass in the street or at the weekly thing- but he's involved with the organisation of the weekly thing and cant really just chat to one person- it's quite a busy thing and there just isn't the chance.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 20:51:39

if it wasn't for the fact I know i'll have to face him again every week then i'd just get in touch and if he rejects me then I could forget it and move on- but not when I know i'll have to face him and no doubt he'd tell the friend that I know aswell and she'd know I fancy him!

Walkacrossthesand Fri 21-Jun-13 20:54:07

It's fundraising/summer fair time of year - are there any 'weekly thing' events coming up that you can use as a pretext to message him about, asking if he needs any extra pairs of hands?

allaflutter Fri 21-Jun-13 20:55:05

what about after this weekly activity - any chance travelling in same direction or having a drink (sound like you live close by)? but let him to suggest actual dating.

allaflutter Fri 21-Jun-13 20:55:34

no 'to' in last sentence

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:04:57

weekly activity is for dcs so going for a drink after not an option and I also have a car full as I give a lift to my friend and her dc.

there is something happening next weekend that I could message him about but I know he'll think "why didn't she ask mutual friend" because I chat all the time with her. plus we've been given a letter with all the info we could need. I just don't want to make a dick out of myself and then have to face him again.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:23:24

eeek I've just messaged him- he replied- it's ok- it's done now.

Letters Fri 21-Jun-13 21:26:43

What did you say, what he he say? Don't leave us hanging grin

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:29:22

he posted on a link his friend sent him so I PMed a jokey comment about it and now we're taking about our plans for this weekend grin

summer111 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:33:46

Eek, how exciting! Let us know how the conversation develops :0)

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:37:44

I will- we've swapped numbers!

Mumsyblouse Fri 21-Jun-13 21:40:49

This sounds really exciting!!!

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:42:22

grin grin grin

Buswanker Fri 21-Jun-13 21:46:32

Arrange a proper date. He's probably just as nervous and if one of you doesn't ask then you could be missing out on some happiness and naked time

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:51:50

love the name buswanker grin

we're talking about where each of us likes to go out for a drink now...

summer111 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:55:55

Oooh, I second bus's advice grin

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 22:39:56

possible sunday night date smile if I can get a babysitter.

Walkacrossthesand Fri 21-Jun-13 22:48:54

Excellent! No 'if' about it - a babysitter must be found!

ImNotBloody14 Fri 21-Jun-13 22:56:54

cant believe I waited so long to do this! almost a year.

yes i'm going to see if my neighbour's DD is free to babysit- eek again!

summer111 Fri 21-Jun-13 23:03:00

Yay, well done! I'm so excited for you wink

allaflutter Fri 21-Jun-13 23:35:11

oooh, dramatic change of pace! grin Good luck! did one of you actually suggested a date <faints>, or are you dressing it as some friendly drink n chat?

allaflutter Fri 21-Jun-13 23:35:30

suggest <gah>

deliasmithy Fri 21-Jun-13 23:40:24

I have no idea who you are but I'm gripped by this thread! So exciting, best of luck!

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 10:00:28

Thank you!

We were talking about where each of us likes to go out and i said that i havent really been out in ages due to lack of funds and he suggested we go out for a drink on sunday evening on him. Neither of us said "its a date" so its not really but it's something! grin

allaflutter Sat 22-Jun-13 10:18:15

great that he's suggested it, 'a drink on him' does sound like a date, even though he's coy (which is fine as he obv is being careful not to jump the gun).
You see, it pays to show a bit of initiative, to see their response - result! <after a year> grin

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 10:25:27


Locketjuice Sat 22-Jun-13 10:42:24

Ohhh how exciting! smile

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 22-Jun-13 10:48:00

What an exciting thread! smile
Big question is OP what are you going to wear?

summer111 Sat 22-Jun-13 13:49:46

Wishful, just what J was thinking!

14, Please tell me you have a babysitter sorted! I think I'm definitely having pseudo first date excitement symptoms on your behalf grin

MadBusLady Sat 22-Jun-13 14:01:00

Sunday evening is the official "Want it to be a date, but saving face in case it isn't" date time. You has pulled. grin

GilmoursPillow Sat 22-Jun-13 14:04:07

It's a date.

will be tapping fingers waiting for an update

WeGotTheKrunk Sat 22-Jun-13 14:18:38

he suggested we go out for a drink

You are totally in there, ImNotBloody14. I can tell just by reading your posts that this bloke fancies you.

What an exciting thread!! I hope you have a lovely time on your date. And it is a date, even though he hasn't said so. smile

HerrenaHarridan Sat 22-Jun-13 14:38:13


Right down to business.

Have you got anything to wear?

Baby sitter ASAP!

Nails, hair?

if you don't check in with us by Monday eve I will be forced to hack you fb

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 14:48:26


Havent been able to get hold of friend to see if her ds can babysit. Neighbours dd is away with her boyfriend so cant do it. If i can get friends ds, how much should i pay him? Hes 18 and it would be 3 hours max.

Outfit- i have a 'go to' outfit that i wear if im not sure if dress code- its dark skinny jeans, black stillettos, either a black or white top that is a bit trendy ( same top- i bought in both colours grin) and a black 3/4 length blazer- how does that sound?

Nails - i was going to do them nude or red?

Hair- not much i can do as it's a bob with a fringe and dont really want to be trying anything new incase it goes tits up!

deliasmithy Sat 22-Jun-13 16:15:37

I dont know what going rate for babysitting is.

Clothes wise - 2 questions: what style of clothes has he seen you in before at this activity thing, and what sort of place is it you're going for a drink at? Is it country pun or posh bar?

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 16:22:54

He's seen me in everything from sweats and flip flops- hair scraped back + no make-up to dressed up for dinner.

Havent decided where we're going yet but it will be one of the local pubs which dont really have strict dress codes- one is quite a grungey spot but heels are ok there too- i used to go alot.

DHtotalnob Sat 22-Jun-13 16:33:43

Nude (nails --for now--)

DHtotalnob Sat 22-Jun-13 16:35:14

Godamnit I can never do the crossy out thing

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 16:36:17


HerrenaHarridan Sat 22-Jun-13 16:59:55

I second nude nails (as in at least a coat of clear polish to give them a shine)

White top if black bottoms, some colour would off set the black and white nicely. In fact red nails against black and white would look hot!
Maybe a red hair clip or earrings (if you can match the shade)

You want him to see you've made an effort since he's jumped at the chance I think we can set aside playing it too cool grin

deliasmithy Sat 22-Jun-13 17:29:51

Pub - I'd favour a casual look that says look at me I'm gorgeous and haven't made any effort - when in reality you've spent hours getting ready! I second the white top dark jeans combo. I like the idea of the red splashes of colour though I think nude nails and no red works well, and then gives you an option for a second date!

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 18:38:46

friend is going to get her ds to ring me when he get home but she says she doesn't think he has any plans so hopefully will babysit for me.

is it bad that he hasn't been in touch today? confused

thefrozensouth Sat 22-Jun-13 18:53:13

Of course not.

Relax and file your nails smile

dopeysheep Sat 22-Jun-13 19:02:02

I think it's good he hasn't been in touch. He doesn't want to look too keen and he doesn't want to give you a chance to back out.
Your outfit sounds lovely. Understated but sexy.

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 19:28:08

Ooh nerves!! Going to get the dcs to bed then do my nails. Fingers crossed friends ds can come.

MissStrawberry Sat 22-Jun-13 19:36:49

Seriously, calm down grin you are going on a date with a hot guy tomorrow!!!! Of course he isn't going to be in touch all the time, neither of you know if this is going to develop into anything but a one night shag so there isn't any reason to contact you yet iyswim. Once you are dating then you can complain if he hasn't contacted you for X amount of time.

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 19:54:22

Good points strawberry- im not used to this dating business at at all.

MissStrawberry Sat 22-Jun-13 20:00:29


SmallSherryforMedicinal Sat 22-Jun-13 20:08:29

De-lurking to say I'm excited for you! :-)

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 20:14:29

Thank you! Me too- can you tell? grin

HerrenaHarridan Sat 22-Jun-13 20:21:21

If course he's not going to get in touch, he won't want to look desperate!

Im so excited for you! I wish I was going on a hot date tomorrow

and if you get the urge to mn from the loo ill be here wink

ImNotBloody14 Sat 22-Jun-13 20:24:31

Did anyone see a show called first dates on channel 4? It kept showing the women talking about their dates in the loo and one phoned her friend but didnt show what any of the men said in the loos!! I really wanted to see what they said!

this is very exciting! let us know how it goes...

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 14:38:19

No babysitter sad
Friends ds cant do it.

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 23-Jun-13 14:55:51

sad anyone else?? Hope you can find someone

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 15:05:55

Nope no-one else- my parents are away atm, my sister is working tonight friend has her own dcs ( single parent too) we're just going to wait til my dcs are with their dad ( 2 weeks.) and arrange something then.

WhiteBirdBlueSky Sun 23-Jun-13 15:07:02

Oh no!!!

Buswanker Sun 23-Jun-13 16:32:27

Do you children go to bed a decent time and sleep well? If so you could ask him over for a drink at your house?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 18:38:14


Thats exactly what ive done! He's coming up later to watch pearl harbour with a wee drink.

summer111 Sun 23-Jun-13 18:45:38

Yay, this is definitely a date!!!

WhiteBirdBlueSky Sun 23-Jun-13 19:06:17


I bet you'll be snogging on the sofa before the night's over!

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 19:13:09

I only hope he's easy to get rid of at the end of the night!!

MissStrawberry Sun 23-Jun-13 19:16:33

Don't have him in your house if you are worried about that.

Crikeyblimey Sun 23-Jun-13 19:23:47

Ooh how exciting! Just say shortly after he arrives that you'll have to kick him out at x O'clock cos you have y to do in the morning. Ground rule set, you can relax and enjoy your evening &#128516;

Crikeyblimey Sun 23-Jun-13 19:24:42

Ooops - stupid smiley thing looked fine on the preview and now looks like a bunch of symbols.

WhiteBirdBlueSky Sun 23-Jun-13 19:28:51

Yes, if you say something like that then you don't have any awkwardness.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 19:30:17

Im working in the morning and dcs have school- he knows this but i'll mention it again anyway. I have no qualms about calling the police if he turns into an asshole- have a couple of big burly neighbours who would have no problem seeing him out either. If it came to it.

whitesugar Sun 23-Jun-13 19:36:53

Ask someone to ring you at half ten, then wind things up. If all going well you will know exactly what to do. Enjoy yourself!

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 19:40:21

Good idea - best friend knows hes coming so i'll get her ring me.

BitOutOfPractice Sun 23-Jun-13 19:50:12

OP I had a really LOVELY that means we shagged each other senseless relationship with a man and our first few dates were at home because of childcare issues (his and mine). It was all very relaxed and we could really chat without distraction.

We had a chaste kiss on the cheek the first time he came round. The second time we snogged in the kitchen for about 2 hours. It was very hot nice

Then we arranged some ahem adult time and went from there

I'm so excited for you!

MissStrawberry Sun 23-Jun-13 19:52:51

confused Are you just been really really cautious or do you seriously think there might be a problem with him leaving when you want him too?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 19:55:21

Oh thank you for posting that - i was a bit apprehensive about inviting him here for a first date- I'm thinking what if theres mega silences and theres nothing to distract us or what if its a bit too intimate but I'm just going to treat it like I'm watching a movie with a friend and relax. I have a tendency to keep the barriers up anyway so I'm not worried about it moving to quickly

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 19:56:40

Oh no i dont think he will cause a problem- i was just thinking of possibilities and you hear things about men like that. He hasnt given me any indication that he would be.

BitOutOfPractice Sun 23-Jun-13 19:58:23

I just put some music on and necked a couple of glasses of wine before he arrived

WE had a really lovely couple of months before we both went our separate ways. I was just coming out of a really nasty painful breakup and he was just what I needed at the time and I still think of him fondly.

Have a lovely time

MrsMeg Sun 23-Jun-13 20:35:15

There is a rather steamy scene in Pearl Harbour isn't there? That will be interesting on a first date. Have a fab time OP grin

HerrenaHarridan Sun 23-Jun-13 20:56:32

*taps feet impatiently grin

BitOutOfPractice Sun 23-Jun-13 21:23:51

<strolls nonchalentky through thread whistling>

MrsMeg Sun 23-Jun-13 22:04:16

Cough ......

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sun 23-Jun-13 22:05:18


Come on OP! On the dating thread, they have to give a loo update grin

stonesteps Sun 23-Jun-13 22:33:20

Delurking to hope things are going well... need an update (not living vicariously through this at all...) grin

ImNotBloody14 Sun 23-Jun-13 23:23:36

Going well grin hes at the loo

stonesteps Sun 23-Jun-13 23:24:21

argh! that's not enough info! promise you'll come back and give us a blow-by-blow account soon! lol

deliasmithy Sun 23-Jun-13 23:33:33

So is he still there because the film is long or things are getting steamy?

Need more info!!

deliasmithy Sun 23-Jun-13 23:39:35

And if you wouldn't mind answering these questions in your post date debrief we'd all be grateful!

What outfit did you go with?
Did he bring anything?
Then what happened?

I'm in pain from the suspense!

Loo updates are a must. I once had to go to the loo on a date and eat cereal bars discreetly as the numpty I was dating took me out for drinks at dinner time but didn't get me any dinner! He's now my dh.

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 00:05:15


Watching fruends akcholal has betn takfn. All hood

HomageToCannelloni Mon 24-Jun-13 00:09:18

Soooooo?? Is he still there?? Details woman details!

HomageToCannelloni Mon 24-Jun-13 00:10:08

Oops x post! Don't get too drunk to remember the snogging! grin

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 02:24:07

No snigging. Greay night like talking to a triend. He brouhj pringles and chocolate. What a guy!!! grin Hes just gone we dist even watch film as having too much craic talkng.

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 02:25:28

And he lloves bacon yoo

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 02:27:03

I wore jaeNs and a creamy coloured knitted top with a bit of hliter ibit

EMUZ Mon 24-Jun-13 03:48:09

I'm going to have to do my drunk translation again aren't I?!

MonstersDontCry Mon 24-Jun-13 04:58:13

I love this thread. grin

Glad it went well op!

deliasmithy Mon 24-Jun-13 07:11:48

Op how you feeling today?!

Glad it went so wel!

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 07:45:22


Jeans, cream knit top with glitter on it and my slippersgrin

We had a great time. So relaxed and just like talking to a long time friend. Didnt even get round to putting movie on. No awkward silences. He brought chocolate and pringles and bacon is his favourite food too!! ( he said it before i even mentioned it!) dcs woke up just as he arrived which wasnt great but he knows them and just chatted with them for a few minutes while i got them drinks. No snogging- we didnt seem to be in that sort of 'place' but i dont mind at all. Really enjoyed it and he said he did aswell.

My head is ok. For now. grin

HerrenaHarridan Mon 24-Jun-13 08:08:23


I missed the updates last night having gone to my lonesome bed and passed out!

I love love love no snigging��

Glad you had a good time though op. sounds v promising.

When are you seeing him next?

I expect continued updates!

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 08:13:18

We didnt arrange anything yet. I'll see him at least 3 times this week due to the activity and possibly in the morning on the way to work. He's away this weekend so maybe the following weekend when my dcs are at their dads

HoneyandRum Mon 24-Jun-13 08:35:50

Woo-hoo he really likes you if he sat and talked for HOURS. Developing nicely...

BitOutOfPractice Mon 24-Jun-13 13:04:54

Oooooo! Logged in for an update!

That sounds like a perfect evening.

Maybe a snig next time?

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 13:22:25

Lets hope so! I'll do a snig update if/ when it happens grin

BitOutOfPractice Mon 24-Jun-13 13:26:24

Oh mark my words 14, it'll happen, it'll happen wink

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 13:33:14

I dont think i even said that he is lovely did i? Well, he is lovely- really good guy.

MonstersDontCry Mon 24-Jun-13 15:36:08

Oooo exciting! grin Can't wait for the next update!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Mon 24-Jun-13 16:12:34

So has he rung you yet? grin

loopylou6 Mon 24-Jun-13 16:33:44

ooh, a quick moving thread

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 18:33:44

Weve been texting on and off through the day. Does that count as a call?

allaflutter Mon 24-Jun-13 18:35:18

yes it counts!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Mon 24-Jun-13 19:18:12

It most certainly does count!

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 19:32:16

In that case then he's called grin

WhiteBirdBlueSky Mon 24-Jun-13 19:33:19

It counts. Deffo.

Early days though.

stonesteps Mon 24-Jun-13 19:34:12

are they naice texts?!

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 19:38:12

Just chatty texts and a photo of him frying some bacon as he knew i was at work and desperately needing a bacon sarnie grin

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Mon 24-Jun-13 20:06:14

He fancies you!

stonesteps Mon 24-Jun-13 20:08:19

he does grin I'm trying so hard to avoid a making bacon comment... oops

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 20:09:06

< giggles>

I think he might


MadBusLady Mon 24-Jun-13 20:11:25

Aw, he sounds nice smile

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 20:15:23

He is lovely ( did i say that already? wink)

I havent cringed yet at anything he's said and as much as this sounds like a cliches- his eyes are gorgeous.

MyBoysAreFab Mon 24-Jun-13 20:20:26

Ooh are we going to have our first MN live shigging thread? grin

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 20:22:48

grin grin grin

deliasmithy Mon 24-Jun-13 21:23:45 (in a nice way)
This is all what's good about meeting and dating someone and enjoying the fun of it all.

Ooh you could give him something bacon themed like Frazzles or send him back a bacon related pic!

HerrenaHarridan Mon 24-Jun-13 21:35:02


I'm so excited for you smile

It was definitely a pic of bacon through right? After reading the penis photo thread...

Djangounhinged Mon 24-Jun-13 21:41:32

Just read this thread for the first time - how exciting for you!! Glad last night went so well, and I'll definitely be back for updates smile

Yay for potential snigging!! grin

summer111 Mon 24-Jun-13 22:52:30

Oh, I'm so happy for you, I was thinking of you last night and again this morning but only got to log in for your update now.


FFS I am 40 years old and just did that in front of face little clapping thing at this thread. Specifically at the bacon frying picture thingy. OP, you had better snog him if I had to humiliate myself like that.

DHtotalnob Mon 24-Jun-13 23:04:05

I also loved the snigging.....

although for a while I did think that he'd rocked up in 'jaeNs and a creamy coloured knitted top with a bit of hliter ibit' and was slightly surprised as what passes as fair dos these days. (back on the scene after a while and easily confused)

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 23:15:35


I promise to work on the snigging.

Yep it was definitely bacon. 4 rashers in a frying pan. I was very jealous.

Four rashers, eh? <winks>

ImNotBloody14 Mon 24-Jun-13 23:21:19

And he didnt even eat them all. Such a waste sad grin

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Tue 25-Jun-13 13:23:44

Perhaps he was saving one for you?? HAHA

ImNotBloody14 Tue 25-Jun-13 13:28:44


Well i did ask him to point his bacon in my direction but he didnt ��

BitOutOfPractice Wed 26-Jun-13 07:08:37

<refraining fromork related jokes>

BitOutOfPractice Wed 26-Jun-13 07:09:10

<refraining from pork related jokes>

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Wed 26-Jun-13 11:04:44

Update please?

ImNotBloody14 Wed 26-Jun-13 11:08:58

Still good- in touch every day. Havent seen him again yet so no snigging so far

ImNotBloody14 Wed 26-Jun-13 11:09:38

Still good- in touch every day. Havent seen him again yet so no snigging so far

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Wed 26-Jun-13 11:43:06


ImNotBloody14 Wed 26-Jun-13 19:35:02

Having dinner at mine tonight wink

seempels Wed 26-Jun-13 20:13:30

Loo updates pls. Fingers crossed for snigging.

HerrenaHarridan Wed 26-Jun-13 21:13:35

O o o o o!


What are you going to wear?

HerrenaHarridan Wed 26-Jun-13 21:15:12

Look at the time he must be there already!

There better be at least one loo update and one of those brilliant drunk updates smile

So excited for you. In touch every day is a very good sign... Bring on the snigging!

deliasmithy Wed 26-Jun-13 21:20:50

Yes, update please! !!

HerrenaHarridan Wed 26-Jun-13 21:27:26

*tap tap tap

HerrenaHarridan Wed 26-Jun-13 22:18:55

Look 14 it's all very well leaving us on renter hooks but I have to go bed in 30 mins and get up to go dentist and I neeeeeeeeeeed to know what you are up to! ??

and what you had for dinner, what you wore and he wore and if he brought wine

ImNotBloody14 Thu 27-Jun-13 00:11:36


No wine- we just had pasta (foolproof- didnt want to poison him) i just wore jeans and navy top, and my slippers again grin. No snigging - im starting to wonder if ive given him friend signals or what! Although he did ask if i want to go out to dinner next week confused

You are in the friend zone. You will have to lean in a bit. Although the amount of hair flicking, leaning in, licking my lips and touching my mouth I had to do to signal to now DH, it's a miracle I didn't dislocate something.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Thu 27-Jun-13 09:23:00

grin at MrsTP!

WhiteBirdBlueSky Thu 27-Jun-13 09:34:59

Does he give you the fanny gallops?

ImNotBloody14 Thu 27-Jun-13 10:57:06

He does- im now wondering if i give him the penis equivalent? confused

widowerbutok Thu 27-Jun-13 11:01:21

For goodness sake....geeessss..just hold his hand and look in his eyes!!

HerrenaHarridan Thu 27-Jun-13 12:05:18

Ffs. Op this is the 21st century you know!

He couldnt be anymore clearly interested. When you go out next week, lean in and kids him.

There's two approaches here
One: lean in and kiss him gently in th lips, lean out a bit and check for confirmation (4/10)

Two: look him dead in the eyes, cheeky half smile and step in and grab and kiss (10/10) ducking hot!

WhiteBirdBlueSky Thu 27-Jun-13 14:22:32

I think dinner out is a good sign. That's a 'proper' date. Plus after the first date is the traditional time for first snog.

How To Get A Man to Kiss You Without It Looking Like That's What You're Doing: (I saw this on breakfast telly in about 1995, so bear with me)lean in slightly. Look into his eyes, look down to his mouth. Back to eyes, then mouth. For the third time, eyes and then mouth. He will kiss you. I have found this to work. Although admittedly I haven't tried it on anyone who doesn't find me attractive. I think we can safely say he finds you attractive or it wouldn't be dinner. Dinner so early on is date not friendship.

deliasmithy Thu 27-Jun-13 16:37:16

So exciting!
I think this is going well, perhaps he is the careful type and needs overt signals.
Cue ott flirty laughing, try and touch him, be blatant! use alchohol as an excuse to be flirty but don't get mashed because a gentleman wouldn't take advantage of a drunk!
Get that red nail varnish on!

ImNotBloody14 Thu 27-Jun-13 18:28:23

Ok, i'll try the eye mouth eye mouth thing next time i see him. I think because both times have been in my house and he's sat on an armchair instead of the sofa beside me we hut havent been close enough to get and meaningful gazing into each others eyes business happening.

NotAnotherPackedLunch Thu 27-Jun-13 18:34:15

Can you leave something on the armchair next time so he has to sit on the sofa with you?

ImNotBloody14 Thu 27-Jun-13 18:48:03

Well we'll be going out for dinner next time so im going to try the walking right beside him so we're touching and hope it stirs something in him grin followed by deep eye gazing

widowerbutok Thu 27-Jun-13 19:48:28

Whatever you do, make sure he does not read/look at/peruse (on the other hand..errrr)

ImNotBloody14 Thu 27-Jun-13 21:28:24

Good point! I havent mentioned MN so i dont think he would know to check

BitOutOfPractice Fri 28-Jun-13 00:54:34

Get on with the snigging woman!

<loves this thread>

Gingerandcocoa Fri 28-Jun-13 17:29:09

This is better than a rom-com!!!!

ImNotBloody14 Fri 28-Jun-13 17:42:34

Well hes away all this weekend so there wont be much snigging action to report back to you all til next week at least. Sorry grin- i know how much you are enjoying this

HerrenaHarridan Fri 28-Jun-13 23:39:35

Next week!

Your a fucking tease grin

Is there still lots of texting going on?

ImNotBloody14 Fri 28-Jun-13 23:50:58

Yep still loads of texting, mostly chatting, a bit of flirting.

Im thinking i'll have him up again before our dinner date to watch a very scary movie. Try and get that first snig wink

HerrenaHarridan Sat 29-Jun-13 14:09:54

Good plan! I also second leaving stuff on the chair he normally sits on so his first available seat is the sofa wink

colourchaos Sat 29-Jun-13 16:52:11

"Does he give you the fanny gallops?" hahahaha!

As a man reading this, I am shocked but delighted for you lol.
Would love to see the male equivalent of this thread...!

ImNotBloody14 Sat 29-Jun-13 17:28:09

What should i set on the chair that he wont feel able to move- hes been up twice and sat in the same chair. Im wondering if hes decided thats his spot? I hope not cause it's mine! grin

Im wondering why this thread is shocking for a man to read?

HerrenaHarridan Sat 29-Jun-13 18:00:37

Your handbag! Most men won't touch a woman's handbag and you've every reason to fiddle.

What is so shocking about Fanny gallops? wink

HerrenaHarridan Sat 29-Jun-13 19:54:36

Wait did I read that right... He's there now!

Oh that's is exciting smile

HerrenaHarridan Sat 29-Jun-13 22:25:26

Ahem wink

ImNotBloody14 Sat 29-Jun-13 22:58:32

Nope- hes not here tonight- hes away this weekend. But hes going to come up during the week to watch the scary film with me- i told him i cant watch it alone and need him there to hide behind grin

Numberlock Sun 30-Jun-13 07:22:18

As a man reading this, I am shocked but delighted for you lol.

Shocked? Oh dear..

Mixxy Sun 30-Jun-13 07:32:23

Put folded laundry on the chair he usually sits on. Lots of it.

SuperiorCat Sun 30-Jun-13 07:51:59

How have I missed this thread. I'm wanting to jump round the room squealing like a wee girl grin

NicholasTeakozy Sun 30-Jun-13 08:18:20

The male equivalent to the 'fanny gallops' is the cock twitch. grin Good luck OP, I've been lurking and cheering you on.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 30-Jun-13 11:15:13

Thank you everyone for all your support!! I honestly dont think there'd be anything to cheer on if MN hadnt given me the guts to go for it in the first place.

I love MN! grin

Good to know about the cock twitch, i shall check for a twitching cock next time he's here. Might have to check with my hand though as we'll be in the dark watching a scary movie wink

Arisaig Sun 30-Jun-13 15:42:28

14, thank you so much for this thread! I'm thrilled for you and can't wait to hear you've had a snig grin

I'm a single parent and had a few half-hearted, short lived relationships recently, and you've reminded me how it's supposed to feel. No more 'meh' for me, I'm hanging out for a fanny gallop!

WhiteBirdBlueSky Sun 30-Jun-13 16:16:04

Cock twitch!! grin

ImNotBloody14 Sun 30-Jun-13 16:30:12

Well he texted me earlier about something and i just replied xx to let him know id got it( no response was needed) and he replied " yes please" so at least we ( all of us- we're all a part of this now grin) know snigging will be welcomed!

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 30-Jun-13 17:03:41

Squeeeee! I'm loving this thread!

Pancakeflipper Sun 30-Jun-13 17:14:01

Ooh.... I am just remembering exciting first snogs. So much better the longer you wait for them.

MissStrawberry Sun 30-Jun-13 17:23:58

Don't kids him yet! Bit soon wink.

I can confirm the eyes, mouth, eyes, mouth, eyes, mouth does work.

So does a few gentle slaps which I have to kiss better and then when he hadn't got the hint I smacked him in the mouth and we were away grin.

MrsHuxtable Sun 30-Jun-13 17:32:50

Put the whole chair in another room!

TheDrugsDontWork Sun 30-Jun-13 19:57:51

What MrsHuxtable said. You need to get rid of the chair. Under the stairs, in the garden shed, give it to a neighbour. Whatever you have to do.

Then when he comes round don't mention it, if he brings it up you can tell him it broke and you had to get rid of it. But there's room on the sofa for both of you wink

If you really like the chair you can reinstate it after snigging has occurred.
Foolproof [big grin]

TheDrugsDontWork Sun 30-Jun-13 19:58:39

grin grin grin

ImNotBloody14 Sun 30-Jun-13 20:10:42

Well we've just arranged to watch the dvd at his on tuesday night as my dcs are with their dad so i'll make sure i sit beside him. Lets hope he has no armchairs!

foolserrand Sun 30-Jun-13 20:53:43

14, thank you so much for this! Have been feeling really shitty recently and you've had me beaming and cheering for you as is toddler dd, who is now too hyper to sleep

Cannot wait for you to get your snigs grin

MrsMeg Sun 30-Jun-13 20:58:15

This thread is fabulous - trying (and failing) to justify adding the phrase 'fanny gallops' into daily conversation grin

Good luck OP, I have high expectations of Tuesday night!

ImNotBloody14 Sun 30-Jun-13 21:02:53

Me either. I hope he doesnt think me a slig after our first shig shock that could scupper my plans for a sprong wedding and the winter birth of our first sprig grin

ImNotBloody14 Sun 30-Jun-13 21:04:21

grinMeg! I dare you to say fanny gallops in an ordinary conversation- maybe not whilst having your smear though? wink

HerrenaHarridan Sun 30-Jun-13 21:30:40

Hide the chair! brilliant. That's one way to get you point across grin

Excited that you've firmly established that he fancies you. You should just go for it in my opinion, grab him and kiss him, he'll love it!

So pleased you went for it. It's been great to be a part if it. In so happy for you. smile

You inspired me too, thanks in part to you I have a date on Thursday shock

ImNotBloody14 Sun 30-Jun-13 21:38:17


You kept that one quiet!!


Name,age, gender, how you met, what you'll wear, where you're going!!

Excited! Eeeek!grin

HerrenaHarridan Sun 30-Jun-13 23:01:26

We met on a dating website. Spent 3 days with messages during back and forth. Swapped numbers and have been texting each other constantly.
Arranged today to meet on Thursday!
I'm quite nervous tbh but she sounds totally lovely and we seem to have loads in common.

As for what I'm going to wear ????? I just don't know?? I have hundreds of nothing to wear ranging from a 26-10 shock

HerrenaHarridan Sun 30-Jun-13 23:03:00

Oh and I've stil to figure out where we are going but it's a lunch date as I have to get back for bed time ( and it gives a fixed ending if things aren't working out)

ImNotBloody14 Sun 30-Jun-13 23:21:07

Lunch date should be less pressure outfit wise than a sinner date. Maybe wear what you would if meeting a friend but a bit more glam with jewellery if thats your thing? I dont wear any jewellery so would feel really uncomfortable glamming it up- u get what you see with me grin

Is she from your area?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 30-Jun-13 23:21:55

dinner date! I meant dinner! grin

NicholasTeakozy Mon 01-Jul-13 00:33:09

Sinner date grin I assure you the cock twitch is real. A mate described it to me. We were in a pub and he told me one of the women there was so gorgeous she made his cock twitch. I may have cried. Then again, this was the same bloke who, upon seeing how well me and my then very good friend got on asserted that we were fucking. Completely missing that she's a lesbian and we were just on the same wave length.

That was back when I had friends and a social life.

ImNotBloody14 Mon 01-Jul-13 13:05:13

Social life- that sounds like it should mean something to me. grin

Glad to hear the cock twitch does exist! Now- how do i find out if this particular man twitches in my presence?

SuperiorCat Mon 01-Jul-13 16:39:46

A standing up snog / cuddle should elicit a twitch grin

ImNotBloody14 Tue 02-Jul-13 12:48:11

Ok so we have scary movie date tonight, the nails are red and i've advised him that we will need a blanket (just 1 to share) to hide under. There better be some twitching and snigging by the end of the night grin

NicholasTeakozy Tue 02-Jul-13 13:31:01

If there isn't it's for one of two reasons: he's either gay or dead. grin If you're texting him this he'll be expectant that snigging will happen.

ImNotBloody14 Tue 02-Jul-13 13:37:46

If he's gay he's going the wrong way about it! grin

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Tue 02-Jul-13 13:46:40

I feel like a tart now, my last date I snigged on the first date! blush

really just marking place for first snig

ImNotBloody14 Tue 02-Jul-13 13:51:41

Oh i would have snigged on the first date too if it had been on offer. Except the fecker likes armchairs hmm grin

daimbardiva Tue 02-Jul-13 16:15:22

Thank goodness I've found this thread again. Was desperate to know what happened - even searched for "snigging"!!! Good luck tonight smile

lazarusb Tue 02-Jul-13 17:07:41

You can always burn your armchair! grin (Not while he's on it obviously!)

ImNotBloody14 Tue 02-Jul-13 17:11:02

Have just had it confirmed there will be cuddling under the blanket! shock grin

NicholasTeakozy Tue 02-Jul-13 17:15:08

Hurrah! grin Good for you. Go and have a lovely time.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Tue 02-Jul-13 17:41:43

Aha, see I have no armchairs, it's the 3 seater or the 2 seater or the floor. grin

Have a good night OP.

stonesteps Tue 02-Jul-13 18:04:31

Make sure you are very scared at the film, so he can come to your rescue and make you feel better... one hint of a snig and all feminism goes out the window!

BoreOfWhabylon Tue 02-Jul-13 18:54:02

<vicariously galloping fanny> grin

MrsHuxtable Tue 02-Jul-13 19:48:41

<excitedly waiting for snigging update>

50shadesofknackered Tue 02-Jul-13 20:08:58

Ooo I've just found this thread and I'm very excited! I demand an update soon, unless there's snigging and then obviously you're excused wink

SuperiorCat Tue 02-Jul-13 20:16:40

Ooooh it's tonight. They are probably snigging right now

HerrenaHarridan Tue 02-Jul-13 21:23:05

YeeeeHa where's a toilet update?

Honestly 14 just grab him and kiss him he couldn't be making his signals any plainer grin

HerrenaHarridan Wed 03-Jul-13 00:09:40

Ffs 14!

In going to have to go to bed now but there has better be a snigging report waiting in the morn.

I hope your having a great time smile

deliasmithy Wed 03-Jul-13 01:53:01

Its 1.50am. I give up waiting. There better be a blow by blw account tomorrow, pun entirely intended!

Fingers crossed for snigs etc xv

stonesteps Wed 03-Jul-13 01:58:49

Right, If I'm not getting a snig, I'm off to bed sad

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 02:07:18

Im home!

So we shared the sofa, shared the blanket, cuddled and tickled, i grabbed him at all the scary bits, lots of eye contact... But i chickened out at the last minute �� all my own fault he was completely into it. Im too out of practise.

< awaits onslaught of 'FFS Op' >

< hides >

stonesteps Wed 03-Jul-13 02:20:09

FFS op!

Nah, actually, I'm glad - by dragging it out you've made it more exciting for all us perverts interested parties!

thistlelicker Wed 03-Jul-13 02:31:07

U can sense the snig is coming tho! Just text him lots of xxxxxx's an tell him that's just the practise
Run :-)

NicholasTeakozy Wed 03-Jul-13 07:05:45

You did the right thing. I'm pleased he had the good sense to respect your boundaries. Just go at your own pace and don't worry. Do you have another date? smile

Numberlock Wed 03-Jul-13 07:21:49


MissStrawberry Wed 03-Jul-13 07:55:32

Good for you OP!

Don't ever do anything you are not 100% happy about. Nerves at first kiss are perfectly normal.

My first snog with now DH went for ages and I told him I was too scared to stop in case his face said it was crap grinblush.

deliasmithy Wed 03-Jul-13 08:15:15

I had an infamous third date snig failure. I was too nervous and I knew it was coming and suddenly panicked so turned away at the last moment. My 'date' ended up smearing a snig down my cheek.

The following week Ion next date i made sure I got totally hammered which seemed to help remove my inhibitions!

Kirstywirsty Wed 03-Jul-13 08:44:15

Still sounds as though you had fun 14 when is your dinner date?

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 09:44:09

We did have fun- apart from scary movie i dont think we stopped laughing the whole time. Yes tickling of the ' lets get some physical contact going here' variety grin

Next date isnt til 14th which is the dinner date. But im sure we'll arrange to see each other between now and then. Cant wait that long to see him again!

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 09:51:18

Btw i am really loving all your own first date/ first snig stories! grin

SuperiorCat Wed 03-Jul-13 10:00:15

Agree with stonesteps

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Wed 03-Jul-13 10:06:36

He must be shy too!!

How old is he?

I don't think I have ever snigged a man first of moved in for a snig.

I do remember my worst every snig, I was 12/13 and looking at the boy, it was freezing cold and he had snot running from his nose onto his mouth, and I knew I was going to have to snig THAT, I'm sure I ran away!

You cannot wait until 14th shock No way....

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 10:30:03

I dont think hes shy- he doesnt seem to be. He just seemed to follow my responses if that makes sense? And as i said waaay early on in the thread i have a tendancy to put the barriers up. I didnt want to and could feel myself doing it but just couldnt let them down. I think a wee bit of alcohol is the key for next time.

Numberlock Wed 03-Jul-13 10:31:34

Hmmm I'm in two minds about this one. Tickling but he didn't move in for a kiss, not even when it was time to say goodbye?

I wouldn't be meeting him again till you go on a proper date.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Wed 03-Jul-13 10:39:24

Yes you did mention barriers, nothing wrong with taking things slow tbh. smile but not as slow as the 14th as we need an update before then

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 11:02:38

He did lean in for a kiss but i moved away. My stupid brain got in the way.

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 11:04:35

I havent kissed anyone in almost two years! shock Forget how its done grin

WhiteBirdBlueSky Wed 03-Jul-13 12:46:20

OK. You're going to have to get drunk.

deliasmithy Wed 03-Jul-13 13:26:38

Yep that sounds similar to my situation. One of the cures is to dress up and looks amazing and have a few drinks

MissStrawberry Wed 03-Jul-13 13:40:47

Don't get drunk. Just have enough to give yourself some confidence if you think that is what you need.

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 13:51:24

No not drunk, just a bit more relaxed.

HerrenaHarridan Wed 03-Jul-13 15:21:37

It's ok to take things slowly, you've both made it clear your interested.

Enjoy the flirting stage, it doesn't last for ever grin

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 15:31:25

I am really enjoying it. I dont remember ever enjoying the dating/ getting to know each other stage as much with anyone else. Its nice.

thistlelicker Wed 03-Jul-13 20:29:25

Have u heard from him today

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 20:43:09

Yes, the usual texts on and off through the day.

sounds very promising!!!

thistlelicker Wed 03-Jul-13 20:58:25

Slow steps make big difference

headlesslambrini Wed 03-Jul-13 21:28:05

shamelessly marking my place - I need to know what happens

sarahandduck Wed 03-Jul-13 21:32:41

Loving this thread.....I am also shamelessly marking my place

I am available if you need a babysitter between now and the 14th. Anything to get the snigging started.

BTW - FFS OP grin

ImNotBloody14 Wed 03-Jul-13 23:04:41


Thanks arse- knew youd find it eventually! Dcs zonked tonight?

ImNotBloody14 Fri 05-Jul-13 11:16:24

Movie night - take #2 tonight!

NicholasTeakozy Fri 05-Jul-13 11:20:19

That's excellent news. Just take things at your own pace and remember to have a great time. It's supposed to be fun. smile

ImNotBloody14 Fri 05-Jul-13 11:23:13

Thank you nicholas. smile

MonstersDontCry Fri 05-Jul-13 12:53:47

Have fun tonight op! Get some wine in! Fingers crossed for some snigging. grin

SuperiorCat Fri 05-Jul-13 13:14:29

Ooh yay, a snigging update expected tomorrwo

reggiebean Fri 05-Jul-13 13:17:04

Just read this whole thread with a massive grin on my face! Marking my place for a snog update!

GilmoursPillow Fri 05-Jul-13 13:34:11

FFS snig!

I will be travelling soon and won't have internet on the 14th. I need news before then grin

stonesteps Fri 05-Jul-13 17:06:42

grin grin grin grin snig goddammit grin grin grin grin

plantsitter Fri 05-Jul-13 18:09:32

shamelessly lurking. This thread has warmed me cockles. So to speak.

rootypig Fri 05-Jul-13 18:29:42

Also shamelessly perving lurking.

Soooo exciting. Snigs tonight pliz OP! Here, have some wine aaand just a wee bit more wine wine

grin grin grin

CheeseFondueRocks Fri 05-Jul-13 20:09:49

Hope you have a snigging great night!

bumpers Fri 05-Jul-13 20:33:19

Marking place for an update!!

ImNotBloody14 Fri 05-Jul-13 20:38:15

Ok i'm off. I'll try and do a loo update. I know how much you all hate the waiting grin

"14 and new boyfriend sitting in a tree,
s n i g g i n g"

Not quite as catchy as the original, but 'twill do.

Hope there's some snig action later. wink

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Fri 05-Jul-13 20:55:59

First it's l o v e
then it's m a r r i a g e
and before you know it you you will have another child and a garage.....

Sorry childish!

Watch the tennis OP, and give him a big snig at the end.

MissStrawberry Fri 05-Jul-13 21:02:14


I miss snigging.

Come on OP! Tonight is the night!!!!!!!!!!!

thistlelicker Fri 05-Jul-13 22:21:22

Snig snig snig .....

Whyyyyy are we waittttttinnnnng !

ImNotBloody14 Fri 05-Jul-13 22:54:45

Loving the. Ryhmes. Still watchjng mobiees

thistlelicker Fri 05-Jul-13 23:00:43

Hand on his knee!!!

CheeseFondueRocks Fri 05-Jul-13 23:09:19

Yes, Yes, hand on knee!!!!

I'm not new btw, just name changed for today. (Not that it matters...)

HerrenaHarridan Fri 05-Jul-13 23:14:50

Omg! You just love teasing us!

ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 01:25:52

Ok, so now jthat weve snuggex doees thst make us sniggers? confused

BoreOfWhabylon Sat 06-Jul-13 01:29:22

NO! Snuggex is no substitute for sniggex - just get onwith it grin

ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 01:31:15

Whopops!! Zi meat snigged?!!

GilmoursPillow Sat 06-Jul-13 04:23:23

Did you snig or didn't you? <confoosed>


amazingmumof6 Sat 06-Jul-13 04:48:32

update please!

Buzzardbird Sat 06-Jul-13 06:07:52

Hmmm, no update. 14, you norty, norty thang!

Reastie Sat 06-Jul-13 06:19:42

Just joining thread for update on last night. Fab thread!

thistlelicker Sat 06-Jul-13 06:33:27

I hope lack of update means u r all snigged out ;-)

milkymocha Sat 06-Jul-13 07:51:10

Ohhh iam excited!

i need to get out more clearly

ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 08:09:55

We SNIGGED!!!! We're sniggers grin

MrsMeg Sat 06-Jul-13 08:29:52

Yay for snigging!!!!!! grin

Details please - how long did it last?

Were hands involved?????

ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 08:33:51

It lasted for ages. Hands yes. we shigged blush

Mixxy Sat 06-Jul-13 08:34:11

Oh yaaaaay! Some good and positive news! How wonderful you! Was it, you know, awesome? squeal

ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 08:37:56

It was good. Very good winkgrin

MonstersDontCry Sat 06-Jul-13 08:41:35

Yaaaayyyy! grin this is so exciting!

MonstersDontCry Sat 06-Jul-13 08:42:51

Hang on I've just read that again. You SHIGGED? Does that mean...? wink

jayho Sat 06-Jul-13 08:43:49

de-lurking to confess just pmsl at shigging

ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 08:44:02

Yup grin

Buzzardbird Sat 06-Jul-13 08:51:21

Ooo, get you shiggy sniffers! grin

putyourhatonsweetie Sat 06-Jul-13 08:51:31

Delurking to cheer

Fiderer Sat 06-Jul-13 08:52:17

I've just read this the whole way through with bated breath (whatever that is but ykwim)

Snigging AND shigging shock

grin Yay!

Kirstywirsty Sat 06-Jul-13 08:55:11

Yay!!! grin

scratchandsniff Sat 06-Jul-13 08:58:29

I am loving this thread! Oh how I remember those early days of a relationship fondly. The butterflies in the tummy, the bothering to shave legs and tidy lady garden.......

So where did you shig? His or yours? If at his had he changed the bed clothes do you think? Want to know if he was hoping for some shigging action.

Buzzardbird Sat 06-Jul-13 09:00:15

That should have been 'shiggy sniggers' I in no way meant 'sniffers' grin

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Sat 06-Jul-13 09:07:01

I knew it, all shy and no snigging and sure enough you got a shig too grin

Well done OP!

TheSilveryPussycat Sat 06-Jul-13 09:48:32

Another delurker who is delighted by your news grin

Delurking to say whahey for the shigging smile

thistlelicker Sat 06-Jul-13 10:05:16


BoreOfWhabylon Sat 06-Jul-13 10:22:08

Yay! you really made up for lost time! grin

CheeseFondueRocks Sat 06-Jul-13 11:13:41


ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 11:22:39

Ok im in work but having a quick break.

Details- (apologies in advance to my rl friend who is on this thread- i know you dont really need this imagery of me grin)

We didnt get to the bedroom (although he did say hed cleaned it wink) it was a spontaneous teenagery shig on the sofa mid movie. There had been lots a bit of vodka taken grin

It would never have happened without you bunch of internet strangers egging me on. So thank you all- it was my pleasure ��grin

GilmoursPillow Sat 06-Jul-13 11:37:41

Winderfull stiff! Cangrituletions!

stonesteps Sat 06-Jul-13 11:50:59

Post-coital cuddle anyone? grin

NicholasTeakozy Sat 06-Jul-13 11:53:11

Hurray for you! grin Have you got round to arranging a return fixture? wink

Shlurpbop Sat 06-Jul-13 12:00:31

Ooh I just jumped from page one to here -how exciting! Going to read rest of thread now and see what I missed!
Well done OP!

thistlelicker Sat 06-Jul-13 12:06:20

I hope
You have text him and arranges round two!

HerrenaHarridan Sat 06-Jul-13 12:09:42

Hurrah! Snigging and shigging! Making up for lost time wink

HerrenaHarridan Sat 06-Jul-13 12:10:28

Oh yeah and...

We told you so!

He was well into you * ahahem grin

SuperiorCat Sat 06-Jul-13 13:07:33


ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 13:52:35

You did all tell me so. Havent arranged round 2 yet. He's out tonight and my lovely monthly friend is due any day now ( boooo) so probably have to wait a bit ��

CatsAndTheirPizza Sat 06-Jul-13 14:33:37

De-lurking - from zero to snigging and shigging in one day shockgringrin

14, I think I'd better leave the thread now and scrub my brain of all mental images. blush

(Am v. envious though as looked for a snig last night but none forthcoming. sad In fact there was no coming at all. vvvvvsad)

ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 15:42:46

grin Arse! Vodka worked for me- maybe get the dcs to bed early and pour dh a wee vodka and coke?

< hands arse 1 bottle of vodka and 1 bottle of brain bleach > (dont mix those up!)

Might have more luck if I neck the vodka and give him the brain bleach. hmm

So, you succumbed to the demon drink. You realise that you are a very naughty girl and, I hope, are full of remorse (or perhaps something else). grin

ImNotBloody14 Sat 06-Jul-13 19:34:53

Nope- no remorse at all- it was bloody brilliant grin

reggiebean Sat 06-Jul-13 23:25:39

Yay OP!! Thought about this thread the whole time I was gone!! Congrats!!

WhiteBirdBlueSky Sat 06-Jul-13 23:58:36

I said you should get drunk and I got a chorus of disapproval! grin

deliasmithy Sun 07-Jul-13 01:21:05

Yay!! To the snigs and shigs!

I'd love to know the movie that had this effect!

ImNotBloody14 Sun 07-Jul-13 09:38:40

grin The movie was the boat that rocked!

Yes the alcohol was the main contributing factor, the other factor was the hoard of strangers sitting by their computers waiting for news! grin

thistlelicker Sun 07-Jul-13 14:21:05

More like the sofa rocked ;)

HerrenaHarridan Sun 07-Jul-13 17:51:12

grin I haven't dared leave my pic since this started, shut I should probably go check on the baby!

ImNotBloody14 Sun 07-Jul-13 18:00:29

Herena!! Your date! How did it go? And snigging? grin

BitOutOfPractice Sun 07-Jul-13 23:43:59

I've been at a festival this weekend with no access to mn do now I'm home I logged on for a sneaky snig update to find we'd (I say we because this relationship belongs to us all shock)moved on apace!

Bloody well done 14grin

ImNotBloody14 Mon 08-Jul-13 04:09:38

He was back up tonight. Lots more snigging grin

cleopatrasasp Mon 08-Jul-13 04:25:32

I love this thread it just gives me the laughs. grin Yayy to snigging.

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning Mon 08-Jul-13 04:45:55

Have only just seen this thread, fab op really pleased for you.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 08-Jul-13 11:29:26

<sniggers childishly at "back up">

ImNotBloody14 Mon 08-Jul-13 11:32:56

I am awesome apparently grin

daimbardiva Mon 08-Jul-13 12:26:35

Brilliant!!! Well done, this has cheered me up no end smile

thistlelicker Mon 08-Jul-13 14:32:50

14 has a boyfriend na na na hey! 14 has a boyfriend!! wink

ImNotBloody14 Mon 08-Jul-13 17:02:23


Dont jinx it!!

HerrenaHarridan Tue 09-Jul-13 07:11:04

Back already wink

My date went well, amclearly more of a slapper than you, there was first date snigging blush

PoppyWearer Tue 09-Jul-13 07:14:10

Also delurking to say hurrah and huzzah for the snigging and shigging! Well done OP!

ImNotBloody14 Tue 09-Jul-13 10:20:37

yay herena! so where did you go?

Riddo Tue 09-Jul-13 10:23:02

De-lurking to say hooray, I love a happy ending smile

ImNotBloody14 Sun 14-Jul-13 16:23:11

Just a wee update to let you all know it's still going well. Had our dinner/lunch date today which was lovely. And he's still lovely. Laughing constantly when im with him. lots a bit more snigging and shigging going on. grin

ImNotBloody14 Sun 14-Jul-13 16:24:58

Just a wee update to let you all know it's still going well. Had our dinner/lunch date today which was lovely. And he's still lovely. Laughing constantly when im with him. lots a bit more snigging and shigging going on. grin

DHtotalnob Sun 14-Jul-13 22:45:17

Good for you! xxo

bumpybecky Mon 15-Jul-13 16:35:59


BitOutOfPractice Tue 16-Jul-13 21:15:50

Hurrah! grin

stonesteps Tue 16-Jul-13 23:07:29


WhiteBirdBlueSky Wed 17-Jul-13 00:41:13

Ooh, that's great!

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 04:23:41

Oh sorry ifoynfd it, but its all go r erong

Numberlock Sun 21-Jul-13 06:51:19

How come ?

PeggyBabcockBoot Sun 21-Jul-13 08:46:50

Oh dear. What happened?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 10:34:30

No contact since tueadday and then he text me at 2am this morning, obviously just home from a night out and dint want to sleep alone. hmm Why am i so shit at finding nice men?

Walkacrossthesand Sun 21-Jul-13 11:35:21

It's so disheartening isn't it. Seems like while you were enjoying the beginning of what could be a lovely relationship, he was enjoying the 'chase' and challenge of getting you into bed - and now thinks he can call on you for the shigs without any of the other relationship things. Sod him - but <<hugs>> too.

scratchandsniff Sun 21-Jul-13 11:49:49

I know it'll be hard but I would not contact him for several days and see what happens. You need to know if he's just after casual sex or a relationship.

Bloody buggers

TheSilveryPussycat Sun 21-Jul-13 11:53:30

You didn't reply, did you?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 12:07:02

No i didnt reply. Even drunk i knew what that meant

makemineamalibuandpineapple Sun 21-Jul-13 12:12:25

Sorry to hear that OP. You did the right thing not to reply though.

TheSilveryPussycat Sun 21-Jul-13 12:22:23

Unintended consequence of the introduction of text messaging to the world confused. Not a problem in my young day. Grrr on your behalf.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 12:47:17


I know! Bloody modern technology making it so much easier to know 'he's just not that into you'

TheSilveryPussycat Sun 21-Jul-13 13:36:38

grin An advantage then, possibly, in the tricky task of sorting the wheat from the chaff... In my young day it was 'will he phone', now there are all sorts of indicators to process - how long people take to reply to texts, how many kisses, is his phone off/out of charge/out of range etc etc

WhiteBirdBlueSky Sun 21-Jul-13 13:42:32

Ah well, fun whilst it lasted.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 13:45:55

Well thats true. Cant complain about that tbf

TheSilveryPussycat Sun 21-Jul-13 14:05:06

And in my teens there was 'if I shig him will he still respect me in the morning' wink not that I did much shigging in my twenties though...

Episode Sun 21-Jul-13 14:43:20

Sorry I have been lurking not commented until now! ! Dont be disheartened OP... I'd def call my love interest on the way back from a night out! In fact half our taxi is usually filled with ladies doing just that. Im taken so not me anymore but it doesn't necessarily transpire that he's after one thing! Perhaps he just wanted your company at 2am when he otherwise would never have the confidence to ask! smile

Numberlock Sun 21-Jul-13 15:07:51

Why no contact since Tuesday though?

Episode Sun 21-Jul-13 15:18:22

Ohhhh didn't see the no contact bit.... Unfortunately that changes a lot sad

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 15:41:42

I dont know numberlock

Numberlock Sun 21-Jul-13 18:14:34

From your early posts it seemed that at the start you'd both set the scene for a casual fling; the first 'dates' consisted of meeting at each other's houses, watching films etc, with the first proper dinner date only happening after a few weeks, if I'm correct.

Unless you had a conversation where you stated you were looking for a relationship, perhaps he assumed you were happy with FWB?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 18:27:24

Yes that's right. We didnt have any sort of conversation. Its the drop in contact that is annoying me. If it had been so little from the start i wouldnt be annoyed but it wasnt- it was throughout everyday then suddenly nothing. Maybe he just got bored.

TheSilveryPussycat Sun 21-Jul-13 18:44:27

As an old gimmer I would say life can suddenly catch up with you and take over, and (in the nicest possible way) a new relationship eats into one's free time. Also people vary in how much they text - maybe he can't keep up the rate (snurt) for long, though made the effort at the start. So I am inclined to agree a little with Episode...

Keep calm and fingers crossed.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 19:00:53

So should i just let him make the next contact ( if there is any)?

TheSilverySoothsayer Sun 21-Jul-13 19:05:17

Yup smile

He may not have contacted you as he might have felt bad about not being able to invite you to whatever he was doing on Saturday. Wait for him to make the next move, don't give him grief, see what happens next.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 19:11:19

Yep thats what i was thinking.

WhiteBirdBlueSky Sun 21-Jul-13 22:03:32

So did you send the last text? How many texts have you sent without a reply from him?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 22:58:55

We had lunch on sunday, all lovely- no indication he wasnt as into it as before or as i was. We got on great like all the times before. I text him on sunday evening he replied. In monday it was his first day back at work after 2 weeks annual leave and he had been grumbling about not wanting to go back while the weather was so good so i text monday saying 'have a great day back at work' with a big cheesy grin to show i was teasing him. He didnt reply. The next message was tuesday- i text asking if he wanted to go to the cinema that evening an he replied ' im going with friends sorry' i didnt reply. And that was the last contact until 2am this morning when he text saying 'hey his are you' ( drunk spelling of how grin). I didnt reply to that as it was clearly a drunken booty call, i had friends in and we were having a drink and tbh i was pissed off about it.

TheSilverySoothsayer Sun 21-Jul-13 23:05:50

I think I might have texted back 'pissed wink' in your circumstances, what with me being awake and depending how drunk I myself was.

WhiteBirdBlueSky Sun 21-Jul-13 23:05:57

Hmm, so it was a bit of a holiday romance? Maybe adjust your settings to 'casual' and see if he still appeals.

He wouldn't have been huffy at the back at work joke would he?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 23:19:28

I really dont want to go down the casual route- ive been there and im done with it. Id be lying to myself and him if i said that was all i wanted.

You could be right about him just thinking it was a holiday thing. It looks that way anyway.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 23:21:54

I really dont think so terra- he has a great sense of humour and was always teasing me about stuff.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sun 21-Jul-13 23:26:39

Have you had a chance to talk, even sort of casually, about whether either of you would prefer a casual or more serious type of relationship?

ImNotBloody14 Sun 21-Jul-13 23:28:44

No we havent talked about it

Numberlock Mon 22-Jul-13 09:15:35

Why am i so shit at finding nice men?

Of course you're not shit at finding nice men but based on your statement below...

I really dont want to go down the casual route

... I think you need to make it clearer from the start about what you do and don't want. And I don't mean having the 'chat' before the first date but by demonstrating how you expect dating to go.

Make it clear that you want to date in the traditional sense and are worth putting in the effort - eg dinner dates, cinema, art gallery, something where he is required to put in an effort and organise something that he knows you like, eg you mentioned you love Thai food/French films/want to see the new Monet exhibition etc.

I know the difficulties of dating with children but I think just going to each other's houses for the first dates is a no-no based on the above, it requires no effort and gives the impression you want something casual. Better to wait till you've got a babysitter and can do it properly. (Ditto with the lunch thing.)

ImNotBloody14 Mon 22-Jul-13 12:30:20

Yes i see what you mean numberlock and i think you're right. I guess i didnt even consider that how we spent time together was sending any sort of message about what i wanted. I just wanted to get to know him.

Numberlock Mon 22-Jul-13 14:59:38

Well just remind yourself it's nothing you've done wrong, there could be all sorts of other things going on in his life that you're not aware of.

He could have thought he was ready for a relationship again but then realised he wasn't. There could be an ex somewhere on the scene that you don't know about.

Just a shame he didn't have the balls to send you a text to say "It's been lovely spending time with you, sorry I've decided not to take things further. Take care."

Will you be seeing him around soon at your joint activity?

ImNotBloody14 Mon 22-Jul-13 15:30:50

Not til september which is good altough its likely I will see him about town or on his way to work.

sipofwine Mon 22-Jul-13 20:50:39

I have to say I am pretty gutted about this, I'm Not! (well, you know, if you're not having exciting romance in your life, enjoy someone else's fun, I say!) It wouldn't have occurred to me that I was giving him the wrong impression about being casual by dating in each other's homes, I just would have thought it best option with small children, etc. However, i do see Numberlock's point now and feel she could be right. The only thing is, though, maybe you would never have got it together if you'd had to plan dates out as it could have just taken too long to organise. Would you not consider texting him a friendly message along the lines of 'hi, how are you?' type thing, but in the daytime? That way, he knows you're still open to being friendly (if you are) and can reply soberly and not just in a way that makes you think he's just after a shig? I'm soooo bad at reading signals/understanding men but I wonder if he thinks you've gone off him because you didn't reply to his booty call (sorry, hate that phrase!) text, if indeed that's what it was. Maybe he was just being a bit weird and then realised he was being distant, for whatever reason, when he was drunk, hence the late-night text? Is he young? I ask because I'm a bit of an old bag so still don't really understand text 'rules'.

ImNotBloody14 Mon 22-Jul-13 21:46:13

He is young, 21. Ive been wondering if i should send a ' hi, im good thanks, how are you' text in response to his but then i wondered what if he doesnt even remember sending that message! If he was drunk he might have forgotten all about it.

ImNotBloody14 Mon 22-Jul-13 22:28:58

Ok as teenagerish as this sounds ( i swear i am not 14) he's just liked my fb status- that was nothing to do with him or directed at him - he hasnt been doing that for a while i've just realised. Is this him reminding me he exists? confused

TheSilverySoothsayer Mon 22-Jul-13 22:48:29

I was wondering about FB. I think this is a v good sign (though am old gimmer) What of his statuses and posts? can you like them or add a witty remark?

Not the same, but when young adult DD and I fell out, we recovered it via FB as described above.

Am 60 btw but due to new bloke I too feel teenagerish - although 17 not 14 grin

ImNotBloody14 Mon 22-Jul-13 22:51:35

I think if im going to make any contact i'll do it by text- i dont want to pussy foot around it- id rather know if there was potential or not

Wittsend13 Mon 22-Jul-13 23:52:03

Love this thread! I'd text him along the lines of...

Hey stranger..Everything alright?

ImNotBloody14 Mon 22-Jul-13 23:55:35

I think i'll text him tomorrow something along those lines. Its too late now.

Numberlock Tue 23-Jul-13 06:28:22

Noooooo! Don't text him!!!!

ImNotBloody14 Tue 23-Jul-13 11:34:17

See! Im so useless with this stuff- i never know whats right

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Tue 23-Jul-13 12:07:25

No don't text him, if he likes you he will text you.

I think.

Woodenpeg Tue 23-Jul-13 12:09:42

You want to know - then ASK. Really... then you can then either draw the line, or get going on real proper dates!!!

Life is too short. It's making you all sorts of confused... there is no need to prolong it, unless you want to.

Either that, or take his silence and move on...

I hope it turns into something magical though!

Numberlock Tue 23-Jul-13 12:46:31

With every respect, it's hardly likely to turn into something magical when he's not texted in a week apart from when he was pissed and wanted a shag...

What good can come of texting really?

OP: (As per suggestion above) Hey stranger, everything alright?
Him: Yeah, great thanks.

Then what?

The only valid response he could give is that he'd been abducted by aliens for a week, hence couldn't text which we know isn't true as he texted on Saturday.

Sorry but you need to let this one go.

scratchandsniff Tue 23-Jul-13 13:44:54

Iif he's only 21 he probably just wants something quite casual rather than getting into a relationship. If you are after a relationship then I would look back on the last couple of weeks as a bit of fun and move on.

daddyorchipsdaddyorchips Tue 23-Jul-13 14:48:15

^ what they said. Don't text him.

Men are generally pretty simplistic when it comes to dating. If he wants to see you/be in a relationship then he will MAKE IT HAPPEN.

You'll only feel worse if you text and get nothing/not what you want back.

ImNotBloody14 Tue 23-Jul-13 14:53:26

I get what you are all saying. But what if he's thinking the same thing? I.e if she wants to be with me she'd have been in touch. What i he meant his fb 'like' to be a first move and is leaving it up to me to respond or not respond?

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Tue 23-Jul-13 14:59:04

No, you are just over thinking it now, if he wanted to go out he would text you, even after one ignored (drunken) text, he would text, honest, a guy did the same to me, by the time he texted me I was over him.

Numberlock Tue 23-Jul-13 15:13:38

What i he meant his fb 'like' to be a first move and is leaving it up to me to respond or not respond?

Come on, surely you don't think the whole (non)-relationship is hanging on a FB 'like'... You're clutching at straws now.

I can't remember if you said he had children too?

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Tue 23-Jul-13 15:27:39

Oh so he has liked something on Facebook, sorry I missed that, I still wouldn't text him first maybe like something back, this is why I don't get emotionally involved anymore. confused

WhiteBirdBlueSky Tue 23-Jul-13 17:51:19


ImNotBloody14 Tue 23-Jul-13 18:01:01

I've done nothing yet- still haven't decided whether I am going to do anything or not.

numberlock he doesn't have children.

ParvatiTheWitch Tue 23-Jul-13 18:19:04

If the contact was Sunday and then not until Tuesday with. Booty text, surely that's not to bad is it? It's only two days or have I got it wrong?
Don't give up on good sex and a laugh too easily Op; enjoy it while it lasts.

ImNotBloody14 Tue 23-Jul-13 18:24:36

last contact was Tuesday when I invited him to the cinema and he replied that he was already going with friends quite abruptly in comparison to how previous text conversations had gone. he had also ignored my text the previous day telling him to have a great day at work. then nothing til 2am sunday morning which I've taken as a booty text, due to the time of night and the fact that he seemed drunk. then last night he 'liked' my fb status which he hasn't done for well over a week at least.

I don't think I am very good at 'just sex'- I always want more- well because really I do want more than a casual relationship.

ParvatiTheWitch Tue 23-Jul-13 18:28:33

Sorry op. hope it sorts itself out.

maleview70 Tue 23-Jul-13 18:49:02

I dont think he is into you enough to want a relationship but he will keep you dangling with just enough to keep you interested incase he fancies a shag.

If you want a proper relationship, he isn't the man.

Just move on.

ImNotBloody14 Tue 23-Jul-13 19:00:04

yes, as much as I hate accepting that- I think you (and others here) are right maleview.

i'm just going to leave it.

thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread from start to finish- I really appreciate all the support and excited hand clapping on my behalf grin I guess the shigging was only to be short lived but hey, it was fun while it lasted and I suppose somewhere in my head is a lesson learned, i'll work out what it is at some point. i'm just going to go and cry into my pillow for a while wink

thanks again everyone.

Numberlock Tue 23-Jul-13 19:38:04

Ah take care OP. You can wallow tonight them back up and at 'em in the morning.

sipofwine Tue 23-Jul-13 19:42:43

Aw, come back and tell us about your next date and I hope you meet someone lovely soon (sure you will)!

ImNotBloody14 Tue 23-Jul-13 19:45:46

thank you both. I intend to hang about anyway so i'm sure you'll see me around and if there are any new developments in my love life I shall be sure to let you all know first. i'll have to, because it's quite clear I need the advice! grin

Numberlock Tue 23-Jul-13 20:04:04

This is exactly why I'm staying single, don't need the hassle!

ImNotBloody14 Tue 23-Jul-13 20:10:16

i'm 3 years single now and 3 years before exp aswell. I've spent a total of 4 1/2 years In a relationship and it was all with the one man. i'm fed up being single, but yes, also fed up with the whole scenario described in this thread happening again and again. why does it have to be so bloody hard? I know people who walk out of a long term relationship with one person and 2 weeks later are with another person and happy and no trouble finding each other.

Numberlock Tue 23-Jul-13 20:56:16

Have you tried speed dating?

ImNotBloody14 Tue 23-Jul-13 21:28:14

no- I've never heard of any speed dating events happening locally. I am in NI and in a small town. we are a bit behind the times (small minded wink) when it comes to stuff like that. I've done POF but got disillusioned pretty quickly with that. cant afford to be subscribing to any of the fee paying sites.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 26-Jul-13 10:44:50

Well we've had the initial awkward meeting. Passed him this morning on way to summer scheme with dcs- we both just said 'hi how you keeping- good thanks- see you later'

Numberlock Fri 26-Jul-13 10:48:13

What a twat.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 26-Jul-13 12:32:38

Yup. We obviously couldnt really talk as dcs were there but i thought he might have indicated something that showed he felt like a shit.

Numberlock Fri 26-Jul-13 12:34:58

I hope you have something nice planned for the weekend. flowers

ImNotBloody14 Fri 26-Jul-13 12:37:56

Nothing actually- dcs are going to their dads in a few hours but i am so very skint so cant go anywhere. I was thinking of sorting through all our clothes and listing the no longer worn stuff on ebay.

Numberlock Fri 26-Jul-13 13:01:27

That's a good project to keep you busy and hopefully generate a bit of cash.

Have you got some friends you could invite round or visit?

ImNotBloody14 Fri 26-Jul-13 13:06:36

Yep i probably will call in on a couple of friends aswell- a bit of MNing in there too wink

ImNotBloody14 Fri 26-Jul-13 13:08:20

Yep i probably will call in on a couple of friends aswell- a bit of MNing in there too wink

Numberlock Fri 26-Jul-13 13:19:04

Ha ha, good work!

WhiteBirdBlueSky Fri 26-Jul-13 13:22:51

Ah well, nothing ventured nothing gained.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Fri 26-Jul-13 14:53:41

His loss OP!!

Try get a babysitter and go on a few nights out. I'm sure that's where the single men are to be found grin

Or I might take a tip from Millionaire Matchmaker and start dressing nicely and sitting alone in bars in Edinburgh around 3/4pm ish. hmm

ImNotBloody14 Fri 02-Aug-13 15:42:55

Just an update

He texted last night asking how i was. I asked him why he'd dropped contact- he said he got scared, felt like we were heading for a relationship and that he couldnt face a relationship. I told him he should have been upfront rather than just leaving me guessing and he agreed that was shit of him.

Numberlock Fri 02-Aug-13 16:36:07

I'm glad you got to say your piece. Did he suggest meeting up?

ImNotBloody14 Fri 02-Aug-13 16:41:37

No i just left it at that- he asked what i'd been up to and if i enjoyed our meal?? ( why bother asking 3 weeks later?) but i just answered with short answers as if i wasnt interested in chatting and i think he got the message. Im glad i got to say it too.

Numberlock Fri 02-Aug-13 18:56:21

I know people say you should maintain a dignified silence but I'm a firm believer that sometimes people need telling when they're acting like a twat.

Good on yer OP, have a nice weekend.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 02-Aug-13 19:02:27

Yes i agree numberlock- sometimes it just needs to be said. Thanks, you too smile

DryCounty79 Fri 02-Aug-13 21:58:32

I only found this thread this evening, and reading it I've been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster!

I'm so sorry it didn't work out how you wanted it I'mNot. I have my fingers firmly crossed that you will meet a decent guy that wants a relationship soon. Best of luck.

ImNotBloody14 Fri 02-Aug-13 23:13:48

Thank you drycounty. It seems really weird reading those first few pages again- all that excitement and now nothing. Ah well, at least it got me back in the saddle- just need to find a new horse now grin

bestsonever Sat 03-Aug-13 13:06:04

Someone with a bit more maturity perhaps next time? 21 yr old lads are highly likely to be scared by a woman with DC's as not much more than boys themselves at that age (some, not all, there's always exceptions, but it's a risk).

ImNotBloody14 Sat 03-Aug-13 13:20:32

I agree best.

This one had me convinced he was far more mature. He has his own house ( mortgaged) and a lodger, a really responsible job, he volunteers with different organisations ( that's how i know him) and his attitude seemed far more mature than even me tbh.

deliasmithy Tue 06-Aug-13 12:07:59

Hey Not14,

Only just caught up with last 2 weeks developments.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out. I would say this:
I hope you don't let the ending ruin the memories of the fun you had. Fact is, you approached someone you liked and they liked you back. Take that increased confidence forward for the next time.

The signals thing - perhaps the early dates gave a different impression, but then his behaviour of texting all the time, seeing you lots etc did not indicate he wanted to be casual. He can't behave in an intense way to someone and then not expect the other person to reciprocate this. At least he acknowledged his emotional immaturity and didn't string you along for weeks.

Other people jumping from one relationship to another - I wouldn't say that means those people are better at finding good relationships. Indeed it smacks of being dependant, and someone being willing to compromise relationship quality in order to be in one.

I hope you have new adventures soon OP xx

ImNotBloody14 Tue 06-Aug-13 12:54:48

thank you delia

I feel much better about the whole thing now, I think since I was able to tell him I was pissed off. i'm not bothered now, I think he just got excited at the thought of someone interested in him and didn't stop to think what I might want so went with it until he realised I wanted more than he did. it's sorted now, we've clarified it and gone our separate ways. it has knocked my confidence a bit in that i'm not so sure that me approaching men or making the first move is the right thing for me, but maybe it was just wrong with this one? we cant get it right every time, right?

anyway, onwards and upwards- there are loads of nice men out there, somewhere- i'll find one eventually.

deliasmithy Tue 06-Aug-13 13:13:36

Oh please don't let it knock your confidence!

There are lots of good ones, some shy and some not. Anyway there's probably a nice medium between waiting for the hoards to come knocking, and putting yourself forward.


ImNotBloody14 Tue 06-Aug-13 13:25:04

yep- you're most probably right- it's just a temporary feeling. i'll get past it. cant say I'll be running up to lots of men any time soon but i'm sure i'll get the confidence back. at the minute i'm happy just to watch them all from a distance grin

DryCounty79 Wed 07-Aug-13 12:53:44

I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I didn't get with my 'Mr Right' (sorry, horrible phrase IMO) until I was 33. Specifically, 10 months ago.
I've had relationships in the past, but they never lasted more than about 3 months. My longest relationship was an on-off affair with a married man, although I didn't actually know he was married until quite late into the relationship. I spent a total of about 18 months with him over the course of 10 years. (He did divorce her between me finding out and dumping him and us getting back together, I didn't continue the relationship once I knew).
My fella now is someone I work in the same building with. I'd liked him from afar for ages but didn't think he'd noticed I existed. Turns out he'd been feeling the same way about me for about a year!
So, my actual point is - there are nice men out there, you just haven't met your one yet. It took me a long time to realize that I was actually ok, or even good, on my own. I'd accepted life as a single Mum, and was relatively happy. I became confident in myself as a person. A year later, I found my man, although I wasn't looking.
Don't give up hope. Just enjoy your life as it is now, and things will fall into place.

Sorry if I sound smug at all, I don't mean to. Just want you to know that if it happened to a short, fat, boring, ugly mum like me, it can happen to anyone smile.

ImNotBloody14 Wed 07-Aug-13 12:58:35

you don't sound smug at all- it does help to hear positive stories. you are right that i need to realise that i'm complete on my own and don't need to be with anyone else. I've only spent 2 years of my adult/parenting life in a relationship- the rest has all been on my own so i don't know why i still think i need to be with someone as i have been doing fine without this liong.

thistlelicker Sun 11-Aug-13 00:38:01

Sorry to hear its fizzled!!! X

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