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New man. Personal grooming question.

(505 Posts)
MyPhoneIsMyWorld Wed 19-Jun-13 16:47:16

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips? smile

MillyMollyMandy78 Wed 19-Jun-13 16:51:08

I can't really answer your question but curious to hear other peoples views. I am married and been together almost ten years. Same as you - just keep things trimmed.

NotDead Wed 19-Jun-13 16:55:06

I'm 40. No need to go bare but don't have it too long. Its just too annoying for most foreplay!

Also if he wants it bare and you like him its MUCH sexier if it comes off later.. or even if he is involved in removing or talking about removing..

fieldfare Wed 19-Jun-13 16:56:04

As long as you're clean and tidy I doubt he'll give a stuffed fig what 'hairstyle' you're sporting grin.

meditrina Wed 19-Jun-13 16:56:48

If someone is unmanned by a normal female body, perhaps he's not going to be such a great partner after all.

DragonMamma Wed 19-Jun-13 16:57:15

I'm early 30s and married and go for a brazillian type arrangement. DH doesn't mind if it grows as long as it's not full on bushy

wormulon Wed 19-Jun-13 16:57:17

It should be like a lawn not a jungle.

LurcioLovesFrankie Wed 19-Jun-13 16:57:45

What Meditrina said!

noisytoys Wed 19-Jun-13 16:57:46

I'm 26 and all off. You will get a range of people with different ways they mow their lady garden there isn't a right or wrong way

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Wed 19-Jun-13 16:58:35

Milly I work with lots of younger girls, roughly in their early twenties. After speaking to the girls the popular thing is to take it all off!

My bloke is in his late thirties so I don't really know what he might be expecting.

This question seems to come up quite regularly on here. I totally understand not wanting to seem out of sync with whatever is going on, but it's your body, your pubes and there is no wrong or right. If you do want an opinion, your current regime sounds fine. It is also how you like to do it which is more to the point grin

bestsonever Wed 19-Jun-13 17:00:51

Personal choice, leave a little as I'm not pre-pubescent so I have no wish look like I am. Having said that, keep certain areas clear as it would be understandable quite frankly for a man not to want a mouthful of hair IYSWIM lol.

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 17:01:49

All out bald is the current trend as far as I know grin

DonutForMyself Wed 19-Jun-13 17:04:40

I warned mine that I was a bit old-fashioned in that regard. His response "are we talking Jackson 5 here?!" and yes, we are and its fine.

Keep it however you like it, he'll get used to it. I hate it bald, looks weird and pre-pubescent to me (not to mention the itching) so its staying.

Perhaps you can take a cue from how often he shaves/waxes/trims anything too. My DP isn't very fastidious about his own grooming so I'd be a bit pissed off if he expected me to be!

PostBellumBugsy Wed 19-Jun-13 17:08:26

MyPhone - bit like you, I was married for quite a long time & just kept neat & tidy, but mostly all there & then when I found myself single again I was a bit panicky about my pubes as the fashion seemed to be for brazillians, americans, french etc. So, I fiddled around with all sorts of minge topiary trying to please new partners. But, now I go with Meditrina's view - any bloke turned off by normal female body hair is not worth sharing your minge with! grin

Go with what you feel comfortable with.

LadyBumps Wed 19-Jun-13 17:10:44

Agree that if he is as shallow as to be put off by any permutation of lady-gardening (or lack thereof) then he doesn't deserve you! I hope that you feel lovely as you are.

theoriginalandbestrookie Wed 19-Jun-13 17:13:44

I think the trend is to have a lot of it off.

I had a very distressing wax a few months ago, I couldn't understand why it was taking so long and why it had hurt more than usual. Turns out as a favour confused the beautician had given me a landing strip look, rather than the cover up enough so I can wear a swimsuit that I usually go for. I was traumatised and didn't like the look of it at all, although DH was quite impressed.

I shouldn't worry as long as you are neat and tidy.

Mid 40's and all off for me too.
It's so much easier than trying to get the landing strip and so on.
Feels much cleaner as well.
Enjoy it, as and when it happens!

EMUZ Wed 19-Jun-13 17:19:34

I'm in my 20s and trim heavily grin but with actual shaving I just shave the edges

Kernowgal Wed 19-Jun-13 17:22:48

"Minge topiary" grin

xlatia Wed 19-Jun-13 17:25:23

donut arf at jackson 5 grin

i'm 30 and keep it short and tidy. imo, a bloke should be happy to be in the vicinity of your ladygarden (or bush or whatever takes your fancy) and not moan about style. most guys don't sport any fancy dos down there so cannot expect women to do so!

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Wed 19-Jun-13 17:34:13

HellsBells if you don't mind my asking - is that salon waxing or self shaving?

I should add that this guy is not a keeper, it's just a gonna be a few brief encounters.

lynseyclark Wed 19-Jun-13 17:36:36

im 28 and get it all off but i live in greece so from may til october most weekends and most days in august i'm sporting a bikini so its also a weight of my shoulders not to worry about a stray hair also husband to be likes it

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Wed 19-Jun-13 17:37:08

and I should also add that he's sent me photos and I can see that he's shaved, at least upper, but not sure how far down.

Hate being graphic but do men actually shave their balls?! They're so delicate shock

sarahbean123 Wed 19-Jun-13 17:40:19

Definitely all off!

lynseyclark Wed 19-Jun-13 17:42:59

my fiance never takes a bic to his balls wink but it isn't unheard of for him to trim his topiary with a pair of clippers mostly just around the base not sure about his balls thou

Im another all off.
Just feels cleaner some how.

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Wed 19-Jun-13 17:51:04

Hashtag do you do it yourself?

lynseyclark Wed 19-Jun-13 17:58:11

you can either wax or shave although you never really get in the hard to reach places shaving i also do it using a hair removal cream for bikini areas does a good job as well but you get regrowth almost straight away where as waxing takes 3-4 weeks before the dreaded stubble reappears

mzdemeanour Wed 19-Jun-13 18:03:31

I trim the topiary or get it waxedif there is a chance it might get seen by the general public eg in summer/if wearing a swimsuit. Otherwise I agree with posters who've said partners should just accept you as you are/whatever makes you comfortable. Then again I am an old bat and far too old to be influenced by the pornstar chic that seems to be the driving influence behind the decision to completely divest oneself of one's pubes ...

Locketjuice Wed 19-Jun-13 18:05:32

I like it all gone.. As does dp but don't suppose he would have turned me away if the first time (or any I should hope!) I had it nicely trimmed.. A think a full on bush is a bit risky (and off putting!)

waterlego Wed 19-Jun-13 18:22:12

What is risky about having normal pubic hair?! That a bloke might suddenly decide he doesn't want to have sex after all? In which case, he would have done the woman a huge favour.

People should do whatever the hell they like with their pubes. What others do or don't expect shouldn't come into it.

DonutForMyself Wed 19-Jun-13 18:37:01

I regularly get a stray pube in my mouth, doesn't mean I won't be going down there or will insist he shaves it all off - why should it be any different for a woman? Can't see how a man should expect not to encounter any sort of hair unless he's freakishly bald all over too (not something I could ever find sexy).

I like to quote Hank Moody on this one "while I’m down there, it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I’m not talking about a huge’70s playboy bush or anything, just something that reminds me that I’m performing cunnilingus on an adult."

HappyJustToBe Wed 19-Jun-13 18:43:08

I'm 27 and it all stays put. DH has never been put off. I'm clean.

I'm 22 and just do a short undercarriage (i.e well trimmed) and leave it natural across the pubic bone bit (what's the point, as it's not involved in sex unless you're doing it very wrong!! grin ).

If he shaves he may like it shaved though. Probably best to do it how you want first, then see what he says (though tbh if a bloke tried to tell me what to do with my bits I wouldn't sleep with him).

Kundry Wed 19-Jun-13 19:08:02

OK I'm in my late 30s and knew my bloke was a keeper - but after many years action-free I had the full Jackson 5 (great phrase!) and knew I frankly couldn't be arsed to do regular minge topiary.

I did wonder about doing a bit of tidying but didn't want to give a false impression and felt he should be jolly pleased to being seeing my foof at all.

Also if he'd started making comments on the state of my minge he'd have been dumped in 30 seconds flat. Which isn't to be down on those that do trim or wax, just that I think you should do it for you, not the whim of a man.

TheRealFellatio Wed 19-Jun-13 19:14:28

I am happily married but this is the kind of thing that has me waking up in a cold sweat in the wee small hours, with 'what if if I were ever single again and my fanjo scared the horses.'

I am a 'short back and sides with a neat, close trim all over' kinda gal, but I get the distinct impression that no men this side of Charles Dickens and my husband have ever actually seen any pubic hair on a woman.

It's a worry, I admit.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 19-Jun-13 19:29:35

I find the 'my partner/husband likes it X' response quite disturbing actually. Because it is said in a way which means 'this is how he likes it therefore this is how I shall have it'.

I don't recall that DH has ever expressed a preference about the state of my pubes, in the same way that I haven't expressed any preference about his.

YellowTulips Wed 19-Jun-13 19:30:29

It's your body not his.

Go with what you feel happy with - full on/full off/tight trim etc

No man (except an asshole) is going to be mortified by a woman looking like a woman.

The upshot is the trend for "all off" is fuelled by porn. Any man who "insists" on this has red flag written on his forehead.

I make no judgement on women who like this (I am a regular style changer!) when it's their choice. It's not however something you should feel a need to conform to though.

YellowTulips Wed 19-Jun-13 19:30:35

It's your body not his.

Go with what you feel happy with - full on/full off/tight trim etc

No man (except an asshole) is going to be mortified by a woman looking like a woman.

The upshot is the trend for "all off" is fuelled by porn. Any man who "insists" on this has red flag written on his forehead.

I make no judgement on women who like this (I am a regular style changer!) when it's their choice. It's not however something you should feel a need to conform to though.

Feelslikea1sttimer Wed 19-Jun-13 19:39:48

All I will add here is, if you use hair removal cream BE CAREFUL... I had an 'all off' incident and jeez, cream got where it really shouldn't and it was more painful than child birth... I had to pee in a cool bath because it was like someone had set me on fire...

Don't say you haven't been warned ;-)

Aetae Wed 19-Jun-13 19:40:36

I completely agree with YellowTulips - the trend for all off is driven by a ubiquity of porn. Any man that actually insists on hairlessness deserves to get his arse dumped in a second. And any man who lets a little hair affect his enjoyment of sex has issues.

So do it if you want to, don't if you don't. Personally I can't be bothered and I don't see the point so I'm all natural.

EvenBetter Wed 19-Jun-13 20:01:10

I don't know why I feel compelled to comment on minge maintenance threads but... I'm 28 and have it all off with Veet. Leave it on outer parts for 5 mins, then put it on inner bits for 5 mins then rinse the whole lot off. No pain, no holding your ass checks apart on all fours for a beautician, no itchy/risky shaving. Trimming with an electric razor type thing is good too.
But as everyone has said, he shouldn't even notice your pubes, if he does he's not paying attention to what's important!

Feelslikea1sttimer Wed 19-Jun-13 20:07:50

Ah evenbetter that is where I went wrong , I did 10 minutes ALL over... I've never known pain like it!!

stripeycups Wed 19-Jun-13 20:15:00

Evenbetter,is that normal veet you use or a special bikini one?

Nightfall1983 Wed 19-Jun-13 20:16:43



Boosterseat Wed 19-Jun-13 20:21:26

Just an undercarriage shave with shaving oil, all over trim and wax at the sides with the at home strips. Job done

That is personal preference however I've never asked my DH and never will - he's bloody lucky to get close enough to see it never mind pass judgment on its neatness.

I've never had any complaints, I would suggest just keep it tidy and if the new man complains then he isn't a bloody keeper is he?

Geordieminx Wed 19-Jun-13 20:23:50

Could someone please explain to me how having no pubes is "looking like a pre-pubescent" but having smooth underarms is perfectly acceptable.

Jackson 5 or totally shaved its your choice but FFS can we stop with this "pre-pubescent" shit. I shave/wax.. I can assure you I look like a 30 year old woman... No one has ever mistaken me for a 10 year old and just because my dp/dh prefers it does not make him a child abuser.

Fuck sake

Boosterseat Wed 19-Jun-13 20:27:23

geordie but what do YOU prefer?

As long as your body is how you want is then everyone else can frig off can't they?

I'm neither 10 nor a porn star plus pubes catch pheromones and keep you smelling sexy - there is science in this shit!

TheFallenNinja Wed 19-Jun-13 20:29:09

When is the bathmat look coming back.

TheRealFellatio Wed 19-Jun-13 20:29:42

I think the point is that armpits are not considered a particularly intimate, erotic or sexual body part, and fanjos are. Men don't generally get turned on by armpits, bald or otherwise.

gateauauxfruits Wed 19-Jun-13 20:33:24

Speaking as a bloke can I say that cunnilingus is much more enjoyable on a full shave? The hairy pie effect can be unpleasant. And there isn't really a tit-for-tat response to that because willies aren't hairy in the first place.

Wouldn't dream of phallocentrically dictating on the issue but if you like being gone down on, shaven is the way to go.

Geordieminx Wed 19-Jun-13 20:38:38

I prefer to be hair free, I find it cleaner.

I disagree that it's because armpits are not sexual. People are saying that due to a lack of hair there you look like a child... However shaved legs or underarms doesn't make you look like a child..

Some shave arms/legs but no one debates it do they? It should be the same for pubic hair.

It's about choice. Not looking like a child.

Boosterseat Wed 19-Jun-13 20:42:33

If you are performing oral sex correctly providing the undercarriage and clit area are debris free what does it matter if the mons pubis has its natural silky hair.

God I sound like I love pubes don't I? Well if I'm honest I bloody well do they keep my fanjo warm and stop me looking like a plucked chicken neck (once with hair removal cream - IMO I looked horrific and DH just pissed himself laughing)

Ninja has the right idea -bathmat look - but would that stop slipping? grin

sweetpeasunday Wed 19-Jun-13 21:09:30

Thank Christ I am single and plan to be for a very long time. Forgive the blasphemy, but seriously? I am not exactly virginal and in all my time on this earth, no one has ever complained about hair, lack of hair or whatever in between down there. I would be of the if he complains, dump school of thought.

sweetpeasunday Wed 19-Jun-13 21:14:22

And serious boak at the male poster who feels the need to tell us how he finds it enjoyable.

Roundtheruggedrocks Wed 19-Jun-13 21:17:57

all off. It's the "modern" thing to do. Not saying it's better, but it's what most people I know do.

Liara Wed 19-Jun-13 21:29:53

Just do whatever you will be comfortable with yourself.

What men like is like asking what women like, there are as many answers as men.

Dh is in his late 30s and prefers the 'Jackson 5' treatment, I don't and so I do as I please.

I don't dictate what he does with his body and he wouldn't dream of dictating what I do with mine.

Dahlen Wed 19-Jun-13 21:34:58

I think mumsnet is the only place in which I have come across women who don't suffer terrible itching or shaving rash as a result of removing pubic hair. IRL most women I know consent to a tidy round the edges so they're not creeping around pants.

I like to keep mine trimmed and I am fortunate that I'm not particularly hairy, but I've learned from past experience that shaving/waxing is terribly time-consuming and results in irritated skin. I'm beginning to wonder if there is some secret solution to this that no one has bothered to tell me about. If there is, someone please let me know.

As it is, I CBA to do anything other than keep it in check. I have never had a single lover who has complained (or refused to perform oral sex as a result). But maybe I am old.

NotDead Wed 19-Jun-13 21:35:16

armpits ARE sexy.. what are you talking about!!

ecclesvet Wed 19-Jun-13 21:38:10

"And serious boak at the male poster who feels the need to tell us how he finds it enjoyable."

Did you miss the OP who asked "what do men like these days with regard to pubes"?

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 21:39:39

Really???? confused

I dont even trim. It seems a ridiculous thing to be doing. Ive never heard a man complain about the length of pubes?? confused

HighInterestRat Wed 19-Jun-13 21:40:47

How old is he?

curlew Wed 19-Jun-13 21:41:44

I regularly shave all the hair off my head- I find it cleaner.

Oh, oops, no I don't. I wash. I find that cleaner.

OneMoreChap Wed 19-Jun-13 21:44:29

<shudders> at blokes expecting the all off look.

I'm positive that's porn driven - why would you want to be with someone who looks like they are pre-pubescent?

Fairylea Wed 19-Jun-13 21:45:37

All off.

Bald here and have been since my first husband left!

Fairylea Wed 19-Jun-13 21:47:06

And how does it make a grown woman look like a child? It doesn't. Women have breasts and a grown up body shape. Absence of pubeage won't change that.

It's more to do with not getting pubes in your teeth during oral! smile

GingerJulep Wed 19-Jun-13 21:48:47

Aside from preferences... what the heck is OP doing worrying about this for a 'few encounters'?

For those you can get whatever/be however you like... * isn't hard to find (for a straight woman at any rate).

Suzieismyname Wed 19-Jun-13 21:49:19

What meditrina and Yellow said.

Nightfall1983 Wed 19-Jun-13 21:51:28

Erm just spotted this on "Threads I'm on" - sorry for the above post, it must have been DS 9 months contribution!! blush

OneMoreChap Wed 19-Jun-13 21:54:47

I was always told the best way getting rid of excessive pubic hair was spitting ...

I suppose it might look better if you were wearing a really teensy cossy or something, but it just feels like a demand that women - particularly - have to ascribe to an impised body image, no longer just slim but shorn.

I was aghast to hear that some men now shave their tackle, too.
I have offered to get my back waxed for DW who suggested I was beginning to look a litlle like Guy the Gorilla

openerofjars Wed 19-Jun-13 21:58:18

I don't give a rat's ass what anyone does with their pubic hair unless they knit a scarf out of it and wear it in my presence, in which case they should seek professional help of some kind. In my massively non-humble opinion, itis utterly up to you what you do with it.

If he's got any sense in his head, he won't give a crap because he'll just be so pleased and grateful you're naked in bed with him.

If he does object to whatever you decide to do, minge-topiary-wise, then he's a massive wank-badger and you should laugh him out of the bedroom.

In fact, you could always leave it rampant and, as we say, Jackson 5, to use as a sort of litmus test (not literally: don't dip your pubes in acid. That would sting) to see if he's a decent sort or not.

meditrina Wed 19-Jun-13 22:08:33

Would you also dye your head hair blonde because "men like it"? Or would you do whatever you damn well like, simply because you damned well like it?

sweetpeasunday Wed 19-Jun-13 22:09:00

ecclesvet, clearly, I did. But still, the answer I was referring to still seems pretty boaky to me. Each to their own, but he made a generalisation out of his own preference.

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 22:10:09

Agree Geordie!

Geordieminx Wed 19-Jun-13 22:13:23

Oh for fucks sake

Having no pubic hair does not make me look anything like a pre pubescent child.

It's a ridiculous thing to say.

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 22:14:11

OP, also to answer your question, yes, some guys bic their balls too.
Personally, I prefer the all-off look, because a) I know it turns my DP on, and I like that, and b) it's a lot easier to get to grin

(sorry to be graphic! Just don't really know how else to phrase this stuff!)

OneMoreChap Wed 19-Jun-13 22:14:24


Since my preference is the opposite does that merit a boak too?

curlew Wed 19-Jun-13 22:15:07

Why does the "all-off" look turn him on?

ecclesvet Wed 19-Jun-13 22:16:28

I only sleep with men who have full Dumbledore style beards. Any shaving or hair removal is just their attempt at looking pre-pubescent, dontchaknow.

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 22:16:52

curlew Because he's a guy, and guys are visual. He likes to see it without anything obstructing the view.

curlew Wed 19-Jun-13 22:25:48

I think my genitals must be differently constructed to everyone else's. Removing my pubic hair does not make my vulva any more visible. Lying down with my legs apart does however.......

wrinklyraisin Wed 19-Jun-13 22:26:54

All off here too. Firstly because I like it. Secondly because he likes it. Thirdly because I like it. Fourthly because I like it.

You get the picture grin

Seriously, it makes certain things way way way more pleasurable for me. The fact he benefits too is secondary.

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 22:29:00

but pubic hair is 'it'...isnt that a turn on?

DP and I both do complete removal. Nether of us look pre pubescent.

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 22:30:46

is it an age thing?

is it older ladies that dont shave? (that includes me, before any offence is taken)

IsThisAGoodIdea Wed 19-Jun-13 22:31:47

Do you think the guy you're planning to have these meaningful encounters with is fretting about his pubes?


Don't older ladies go bald anyway?

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 22:32:36

besides really not being arse to shave, I think with hair looks better...are people really prefering no hair, aesthetically??

Kione Wed 19-Jun-13 22:32:44

I find having no pubic hair makes cunnilingus much nicer for me too. More feeling, man having more freedom of movement blush and I like how it feels, I leave a tringle on the top.
When I was dating I met two blokes all shaved. Even on unplanned dates! My friend is dating now and the two blokes she's been with are all shaved. One was one night stand too.
All in their forties! I actually never stopped to think about it until this thread!

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 22:33:46

Boomba maybe it is for some people. For me and my DP, it's not. Different strokes (literally...)

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 22:33:52

grin akiss

but serious, does that happen?? shock

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 22:35:34

WAAAAaaaaa.....that has put me right off dating!!

waterlego Wed 19-Jun-13 22:35:41

What really irks me is that a man would never ask this question of other men. Can you imagine?

What really irks me is that a man would never ask this question of other men. Can you imagine?

Of course they would. Men and women aren't that different.

waterlego Wed 19-Jun-13 22:39:59

Hmmmmm. I'm just trying to imagine any of the men I know asking other men on an internet forum whether they should shave their balls or not. I honestly can't imagine it at all.

lookingfoxy Wed 19-Jun-13 22:40:04

I prefer all off as it increases sensation for me, if I'm lazy I've let it grow to full bloom. Dp has never ever commented either way. I have however complained about that flossing feeling andhe did try to remove some, ended up llooking patchy with a nice boil thrown in, so have just left it. I'm late thirties and dp 50 don't know if it's a generation thing that we're not that bothered.

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 22:40:16

I don't see why it's such a big deal. If you don't like to shave, find someone who likes the un-shaven look. If you like to shave, find someone who likes that. confused

Dahlen Wed 19-Jun-13 22:41:11

Psychologically men and women aren't that different. Culturally they are vastly different.

If a woman asked for sponsorship to have her legs waxed most people would look at her as if she'd lost the plot.

AViewFromTheFridge Wed 19-Jun-13 22:41:53

Nightfall, I thought maybe you were drawing a picture of yours!

Does anyone else find that they get thrush if they shave? I do, EVERY time. I've given up on it - a trim suits me just fine.

LittleFrieda Wed 19-Jun-13 22:47:25

Why not wax and have his name tattooed on your mons pubis.

Boosterseat Wed 19-Jun-13 22:47:43

Men are visual hmm

And all women are registered blind.

Hmmmmm. I'm just trying to imagine any of the men I know asking other men on an internet forum whether they should shave their balls or not. I honestly can't imagine it at all.

My DP and his mates have discussed it. The general consensus among them is balls should be hairless.

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 22:51:15

Boosterseat It is a scientific fact that men react more to visual stimuli than women do. This is not the place to debate that. Think the feminist boards are over there ->

AKiss same with mine. Apparently it comes up (the topic... nothing else) in the showers at the squash club quite a bit.

waterlego Wed 19-Jun-13 22:57:12

balls should be hairless

Well clearly not, as nature has not designed them that way.

Your DP and his friends have decided they prefer hairless balls, which is fine.

What is not fine, IMO, is for any woman or man to feel they should adapt their natural, normal body hair according to what others may expect or prefer. It is a fashion, and I suspect it has come from pornography.

All I know is that I am dismayed by the conversations that my teacher friends overhear teenagers having...about pubic hair being 'disgusting', and that girls 'should' be bare. I will be gutted if, in years to come, my daughter feels she has to conform to this fashion, if it's not what she actually wants for herself.

Kione Wed 19-Jun-13 23:00:48

Waterlego, so do you have hairy legs and armpits? Because nature didnt intend them like that and I cant recall the last time I saw a hairy leg on a woman...

Kione Wed 19-Jun-13 23:02:59

Sorry I forgot to add, and unless like pubic hair, leg hair doesnt make a difference on how sex feels and having pubic hair or not does. I am talking about personal feeling/pleasure. It is so much nicer!!

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 23:03:41

I cut my hair... Nature clearly intended it to continue to grow, and grow, and grow since it didn't give me built-in shears. How sad am I, that I am such a slave to fashion hmm

Waterlego; very little about how we live our lives is how nature intended so that's a pretty crap argument.

waterlego Wed 19-Jun-13 23:05:49

No, nature didn't intend hairless armpits or legs, but unfortunately I tend to bow to cultural pressure wrt armpits, along with the fact that I'm very sweaty and having hair there exacerbates my sweat ishoos. I do go for quite long periods without shaving my legs and that doesn't bother me, or my husband.

waterlego Wed 19-Jun-13 23:11:32

Wrt what nature intends...I was responding only to the sentence 'balls should be hairless'. What is this 'should'? According to who?!

I think some of you are wilfully missing the point I was trying to make, which is that I don't have any issue with what other people do or don't do with their body hair...what does bother me is people feeling they have to conform to what others want them to do. I have stated this several times but it seems to have been conveniently glossed over.

As mentioned, my shaven armpits are in part because of cultural pressure- and I massively resent it. Armpits are on public view, pubic hair is not. The only people who are going to see it are yourself and your sexual partner, and if your sexual partner rejects you on the basis of pubes, then they are a fool.

Wrt what nature intends...I was responding only to the sentence 'balls should be hairless'. What is this 'should'? According to who?!

If you took the time to read and quote my post correctly you'd know.

waterlego Wed 19-Jun-13 23:14:22

And I am not anti- anyone doing what they want with their pubes. I waxed and/or shaved for a long time. I have done Brazilian/Hollywood/full bush. They were all my choices, at the time. Your choices are your choices, that is all fine and good.

Teenagers finding normal body hair disgusting is not fine and good, IMO.

waterlego Wed 19-Jun-13 23:16:25

I did take that time Akiss (as you'll know from your taking the time to read one of my previous posts where I mentioned your DH and his mates).

You are still ignoring/missing the point I wanted to make, so I'm going to leave it there and go to bed.

Wishing peace and goodwill to all MNers and their private areas, hairless or otherwise. smile

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 23:17:38

If you read AKiss's post you'll see that it was a "consensus amongst friends" that decided it. I don't think she was setting her DP and his mates up to be the Hairless Ball Committee of the World.

I wouldn't reject my DP now if he chose to let his pubic hair grow, nor would he reject me. But as the OP has said, he's a new guy, and it's not going to be serious. Personally, if I brought a guy home and I needed a hedge-trimmer to get to the goods, it would be a deal-breaker for me.

She wants to have a bit of fun, and asked everyone for their opinion on what the current "trend" was, much as you would if you were back on the dating scene and wanted a new hair cut or a new wardrobe.

Yes, our response the "nature" comment was a bit silly, but to make this question into a feminist issue and moan about cultural pressure is a bit silly too, I think.

Kione Wed 19-Jun-13 23:23:06

it might be quite normal for teenage girls to fing pubes disgusting as in, they have jyst spent most of their lifes without them and also those changes often are a bit traumatic. And I said A BIT. Sorry cant do italics on phone.
BUT I agree that we should shave/not shave acording to our own confort and no one elses.

grin at Hairless Ball Committee of the World.

badinage Wed 19-Jun-13 23:27:45

Boosterseat It is a scientific fact that men react more to visual stimuli than women do.

Got a citation that you can link to that 'science fact' reggiebean?

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 23:28:25

kione thats what i dont get though...I was so excited about getting public hairs! I would never have shaved them off as a teenager!

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 23:29:21

my dd is also excited and impatient! has a bit of a wait yet though hmm

Kione Wed 19-Jun-13 23:32:20

Really?? I hated them, I was so embarrassed on the beach in case any scaped! I also hated growing boobs sad because they started a bit early. The feeling on pubic hair was similar amongst friends.

Kione Wed 19-Jun-13 23:33:40

I was mortified at my mum seeing then! I suppose ones upbringing has a lot to do too

reggiebean Wed 19-Jun-13 23:40:59

First thing that came up in Google. Feel free to carry on researching yourself though badinage.

Boomba Wed 19-Jun-13 23:41:34

I didnt get public hair blush

Kione Wed 19-Jun-13 23:48:52

grin at public hair

badinage Thu 20-Jun-13 00:01:24

That's a 'relationship psychologist' stating her personal view. That's not a 'scientific fact'. To give you a clue, you're looking for biology, not psychology.

I hear braids with beads are quite the thing.

But I would implore you not to google that.

reggiebean Thu 20-Jun-13 00:08:44

badinage As mentioned earlier, I'm not going to get into a discussion about that with you on this post. It's not what it's about. I said I posted the first thing that came up in a Google search. If it's not what you wanted, feel free to continue researching it on your own. If you need help with where to begin, it's Good luck.

EvenBetter Thu 20-Jun-13 00:41:28

(From page 2) yeah, 10 mins of Veet all over is pain ! Avoid! Um, I used Veet sensitive, just normal, not the bikini one because I'm too stingy to pay for the fancy stuff test it somewhere on yourself first to make sure your skin doesn't hate it, if you're going to try it

thecook Thu 20-Jun-13 00:44:53

I am 42. I have shaved everything off since 1993. So over 20 years. At my gym in Maida Vale everyone is shaven. No way would I go back to having pubes. Tis disgusting. I do not want pubes with dried blood in them like I had pre shaving.

FlorentinePogen Thu 20-Jun-13 01:03:58

IsThisAGoodIdea Thu 20-Jun-13 01:13:44

Those shaving the area, is it not horribly itchy when the stubble grows in?

EliotNess Thu 20-Jun-13 01:15:16

Just don't have periods. That's easy

reggiebean Thu 20-Jun-13 01:15:42

GoodIdea it can be if you shave too far... Um... Back, IYKWIM. But no, for the most part, I don't find it itchy unless I let it grow too long again.

badinage Thu 20-Jun-13 01:27:48

Best not to claim that something's a 'scientific fact' if you can't back it up.

There are no 'scientific facts' that men respond to visual stimulation more than women. This is a myth and for some people, a belief - not a 'fact'.

reggiebean Thu 20-Jun-13 02:25:07

FFS, here's another fact for you then: it's rude to hijack posts. If you want to discuss this, start your own bloody thread, as what you're whittering on about has nothing to do with the OP.

badinage Thu 20-Jun-13 04:05:35

I'll post on this thread whenever I like reggiebean. It's an open forum. You do not control this thread and yet you've already tried to chase a poster off to the feminism boards when it was perfectly reasonable of her to challenge your idiotic statement about non-existent 'scientific facts'.

People will post what they want to and you cannot control that. You have the same rights as me to write what ever you like. If you post shite masquerading as 'facts', expect to be challenged on it though. If you've got an opinion or a belief on the other hand and express it in those terms, people might disagree with you but that's fine for a discussion forum. You don't however have any right to order people off a thread or command them to start a new one.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Thu 20-Jun-13 04:20:14

Only on Mumsnet could minge topiary into an exchange of who should be on the thread... do we really need scientific facts for pube length?

Loosen up people, for the love of God

FWIW I don't like overly hair men and keep myself a landing strip type thing going on.

bragmatic Thu 20-Jun-13 04:25:36

Unless going to the hairdresser involves the hair on your head being shaved off or ripped out by the roots while you're on all fours with your arse cheeks spread, then I don't think the two are comparable.

I've never had to get on all fours for a Brazilian or Hollywood wax.

IMHO I think that once a man gets to the point of a bit of foof action its not top of mind, whatever is going down on there.

And personal preference is just that. My own personal preference is to leap into bed with a ripped Oliver Martinez type look (minus the whole anger management and what comes across as deeply unattractive personality issue) who is capable of renovating my house whilst debating world issues in a clever, sardonic way and runs a philantropic charity on the side. However, I've managed to enjoy being in bed with those that don't fulfill this fairly stringent and realistic criteria. Just as I imagine I'd be accomodating of dream man's hairy balls <and one hopes visa versa>.

<whispers, just had an all off (largely as I'm a bit of a make the most of an all you can eat buffet/value for money type girl....although unwise to use first metaphor in this context I'm aware grin off having had 70s vibe for several months. But I'm currently single so .....>

In Oz and amazed that I am taking procrastinating over freelance work to such heights as commenting on minge topiary thread. There is slacker dedication for you....

Aetae Thu 20-Jun-13 07:33:45

For everyone asking about hairy legs as a comparator, mine 90% of the time are pretty hairy. Opaque tights hide all manner of things grin and hair removal gives me rashes and ingrown hairs, so why bother? Unless I want to wear dress with bare legs, which happens rarely! Underarm hair goes because I smell less without it...

But as I said before about pube maintenance, people should do what makes them happy. Doing it to avoid rejection by someone else or because society "makes" them by imposing a pressure to look a certain way - that's not right. And certainly no one should ever feel that their natural body is disgusting, that's sad - seeking improvements is a natural drive, but they're optional improvements.

I suppose OP to get back to your question, do what makes you feel best, not what you think a bloke is expecting. Experiment with the topiary if it makes you happy, or not.

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 07:45:22

Getting back to the OP

Here is a novelty for you. Consider what it is you want, and do that.

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 07:51:18

Morning, especially you reggie (waits patientley for the link)

I know where the feminisim board is, despite not being visual I can seem to navigate my way through the mumsnet boards without too much trouble.

(clips pubes out of eyes and proceeds)

The difference with legs and pits is, DP doesn't tend to spend ages licking them.

Branleuse Thu 20-Jun-13 08:08:08

shave or dont shave. Whatever you prefer.

If he has a preference, then either consider, or dont consider his preference.

If hes anything less than enthusiastic to get up and close to your foof, full stop, then hes really not that into you

OneMoreChap Thu 20-Jun-13 08:15:37

The difference with legs and pits is, DP doesn't tend to spend ages licking them.

Ah, and he wouldn't if your bits weren't clipped/shaved/whatever.

Obviously my mistake. I should perhaps have gone "Good heavens, I'll make an exception this time, but pop down to the barbers next time." Or not.

I was always so pleased to spend time with my partners I couldn't have given a fig about their coiffure...

Lucylloyd13 Thu 20-Jun-13 08:17:14

I agree that most men are not that bothered about their woman's pubes so long as they are not wild.

if he does have a preference, a session between the two of you with a bowl of warm water, some cream and a razor is the answer.

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Thu 20-Jun-13 08:28:33

Hi all. Didn't realise the thread would get so much attention!

I'm not interested in doing any 'minge topiary' to please the guy. I just want to feel 100% confident when the time comes. I'd hate to be the one female he remembers as being the 'hairy' one! As I stated upthread from the photos of him I've seen he's shaved so this is what got me questioning my appearance.

So I've got lots of style tips and have decided on shaved back to front and sides, with a little bit of trimmed natural at the top.

Boomba Thu 20-Jun-13 08:45:29

You've seen photos of his genitals??!

PostBellumBugsy Thu 20-Jun-13 09:20:25

MyPhone, if he is not a keeper, then in all honesty you probably won't remember what he looks like & he won't remember what you look like in about 6 months time. I've done plenty of casual sex in the last 8years since ex-H left & in all honesty I can't remember what their pubes looked like. I'm willing to bet that none of them will remember mine either.

Have fun - if you feel like having trendy pubes then go off & experiment with that, but don't do it to please your new shag buddy. Also if you are going for waxing, prepare yourself to have to kneel on all fours to get your butt crack done. That was the biggest shock of all for me and if there had been a pillow - I would have bitten it. I'm fairly sure I whimpered!!!! wink

ShatnersBassoon Thu 20-Jun-13 09:32:46

Have it however you've been happy with it up until now. No bloke worth spending time with will care what you do or don't do.

Would anyone here seriously be disgusted or think worse of a bloke if they didn't police their pubes before sleeping with you?

Bertrude Thu 20-Jun-13 09:47:22

Jsut wanted to add that when I first shagged had 'liaisons' with the husband, he had in fact shaved his balls especially for the occasion.

He was actually quite concerned over whether it was expected or not. I pissed myself laughing had never seen anyone who had done that before, and told him so. Now he only does it when he's got a bit of time on his hands. He also shaved his belly once. That was weird.

Bertrude Thu 20-Jun-13 09:48:17

I will be using the phrase 'minge topiary' should the topic ever come up in real life. Excellent phrase

Would anyone here seriously be disgusted or think worse of a bloke if they didn't police their pubes before sleeping with you?

Yeah I would. I don't think I've ever slept with a bloke with pubes.

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 10:09:59

He's sent you cock pics?

oh, problem solved. Dump him already, the guy is a tool.

Kione Thu 20-Jun-13 10:14:09

whats wrong with sending cock pics?? its fun!!

Kione Thu 20-Jun-13 10:14:34 I mean...

Boomba Thu 20-Jun-13 10:17:26

its rank!

Hi there
Just self shaving for me. Waxing?? Ouch!!! Once and never again.

DonutForMyself Thu 20-Jun-13 10:23:30

AKiss I feel old! I've slept with plenty of blokes and they all had pubes, but most of them were several years ago before the whole shave-em brigade got hold. I can't imagine anything worse than seeing a cock with no hair tbh, so maybe that's why I don't see anything wrong with my own.

PostBellumBugsy Thu 20-Jun-13 10:41:10

Blimey AKiss, I've never slept with a bloke who didn't have pubes.

Now have visions in my head of two sets of stubble rubbing up against each other for really harsh post-sex rash.

reggiebean Thu 20-Jun-13 10:49:08

MyPhone glad you made a decision you feel comfortable with! Now, just have fun! grin

ClairityVerity Thu 20-Jun-13 10:54:08

This conversation is so funny. I love mumsnet. grin

"Jackson 5" made me roar with laughter!

For those of you who keep it short but natural, how do you trim? With scissors? Garden shears? Chainsaw?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 20-Jun-13 10:55:47

MyPhone - you've seen photos of his cock?? WTF?

The world is such a bizarre place.

I did briefly date a guy who shaved his pubes. He only did it to make his cock look bigger. The effect was like a plucked chicken.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 20-Jun-13 10:57:17

Verity - my ladyshave has things like you get for clippers, that allow you to trim to a certain length.

ClairityVerity Thu 20-Jun-13 11:14:49

Oh NO!!! Does this mean I have to make an investment in my pubes? Jeez, I feel so outdated.

MsLadyLove Thu 20-Jun-13 11:18:19

Nice littlw rectangle lol

Kione Thu 20-Jun-13 11:24:08

I like shaved blokes, and I think exchanging pics with someone you are comfortable with is fun. Maybe I am a weirdo...
There is no stubble rubbing and no pain whatsoever after, if anyrhing a bit more sticky and noisy blush

Kione Thu 20-Jun-13 11:24:57

as in "slap" noisy.

oh gosh did I just write that??

DonutForMyself Thu 20-Jun-13 11:25:53

ew! Reason enough not to then. I prefer the velcro effect wink

findingme Thu 20-Jun-13 11:26:22

I tried shaving it all off once. It was so uncomfortable as the hairs grew back and I didn't like it - felt a bit pre-pubescent, never again. I do aim to keep it nicely trimmed, but sometimes it gets overgrown jungle! DH prefers it trimmed but has never complained. I use his hair clippers to trim (approx 1cm long). I wouldn't want DH to be pubeless either.

springytat Thu 20-Jun-13 11:28:07

I only ever had a 'bikini wax' (sides) for my wedding. Torture. We went to scotland for honeymoon and every time I shivered - often - it was agony. Ingrown, itchy. Just horrible.

Never again. I don't do anything at all and I'd be horrified if a bloke shaved anything. I'd rather have pubes curling out of bikini bottoms than the torture of getting rid of them.

CarpeVinum Thu 20-Jun-13 11:29:18

It doesn't look early teenage once off. Our bodies look nothing like 12 year olds.

What it looks nearer to is Old Lady.

Shock of my life when I started changing adult nappies on a regular basis and discovered we all get Hollywooded by time itself.

I'm hanging on to my fluffy bits with both hands (but not in public) as an anti aging measure.

Plus I look like a badly plucked hen if I do whip it off.

ladyjadie Thu 20-Jun-13 11:38:19

Guys do ask other guys (albeit in a bit of a different way hmm )

I'm just wondering, to those who keep it all off, are you always smooth? For the shaving fans, how long do you wait between shaves? I can never have more than 2 days without visible regrowth (sorry if TMI) and if i try to shave it every two days i get pain, itchy and red bumps (again, srry)

I'd love to stay permanently smooth round the bikini but surely everyone has to go through a 'stubble period', whether wax, shave or veet?

reggiebean Thu 20-Jun-13 11:42:37

Lady I normally shave once a week, but yes it does get stubbly. With waxing, you actually have to let it grow about a1/4 inch before you go, otherwise the wax won't stick properly.

Also, try shaving with shaving oil. It makes a work of difference for me in regards to bumps!

Kinraddie Thu 20-Jun-13 11:42:51

He's sent you photos?! I thought it was just kids that did that

PostBellumBugsy Thu 20-Jun-13 11:47:28

Wow, CarpeV - I always thought it was an urban myth about getting a baldy foof. Even more reason to stick with the Jackson brothers for now! grin

Suzieismyname Thu 20-Jun-13 12:09:49

Wouldn't it be great if at census time they also asked about your pubes. Then we'd know what's normal...

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Thu 20-Jun-13 12:11:32

I wish hairless was out of fashion. As someone else said, it's not so much pre pubescent as old lady. Urgh.

Mind you, I couldn't be arsed even if it did look good. Tidy is fine.

ladyjadie Thu 20-Jun-13 12:13:16

Thanks reggie any particular shaving oil? Like just from Boots or sommat?

You hear about people (yes Katie Price I'm looking at you) who go on about being "as bald as a badger down there" (her words, not mine.. and wtf, badgers aren't bald but whatever) so boastfully. Makes me feel a bit like there must be some way of always being silken smooth and never getting stubble. But actually I bet she gets just as stubbly as the rest of us, she just likes to put that image across that she is such a perfect sexy siren. Humph. I guess that's why the more susceptible men boys expect it. I hate media and modern porn for that.

DonutForMyself Thu 20-Jun-13 12:17:23

And as an aside, the bronze turkey fell out of favour, with people preferring the look of a white turkey, as once the feathers have been plucked there are dark quills left. As a dark-haired person, I'm just sayin'.

reggiebean Thu 20-Jun-13 12:34:31

Lady a friend of mine got laser hair removal (she lives on an island so is in a bikini 24/7) and hers is actually as smooth as a (bald) badger. Very expensive and pretty painful too, so she says! Still, if I won the lottery, I'd definitely do it.

They don't seem to have shaving oil for women, so it's almost always under the men's grooming section (and sometimes called beard oil which makes me laugh!), but yes, Boots has some, or can get it anywhere online.

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Thu 20-Jun-13 12:37:04

Yes, he's sent me photos!! It's obviously part of 'sexting'. This is why I know he's not a keeper - it's fun, fun, fun.

We knew each other from a distance, then after exchanging numbers over time we are at this point. All started off as friendly texts, then vaguely flirty, then very flirty and now after about six months we are at the point of actually dtd.

I didn't realise sending pics was unusual - feel a bit blush now.

reggiebean Thu 20-Jun-13 12:39:53

Don't! My DP and I were long distance for 2 years, and there were lots of photos exchanged! I think it's really quite common.

PostBellumBugsy Thu 20-Jun-13 12:49:29

MyPhone - I don't think nob shot pics are unusual at all. I have a collection on my phone and emails. I've even got cum videos - which are spectacularly awful! I had no idea when I first started internet dating that men were so keen on sharing! grin Used to amuse me but it was invariably accompanied by the request for tits or foof - which was always a no. Strange old business.

ladyjadie Thu 20-Jun-13 12:51:00

reggie wow, didn't know it was really possible! Bit envy of your friend, though don't envy the price and the ow factor. Thanks for the 'beard' oil grin tip, I'll go search for some and stroke my chin knowingly at the checkout person!

MyPhone don't feel blushy. A lot of people have done it. It backfired on me once though, a (dickhead) ex started saying he was going to put them up when I decided I didn't want to see him anymore. Just a warning. Try to make them not too identifiable!

Sending pics isn't unusual IME

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Thu 20-Jun-13 13:00:20

lady The fairly tame pics I've sent him are neck down, so I'm alright I think grin.

Goneinapuffofsmoke Thu 20-Jun-13 13:10:50

All off here. Feels much much cleaner and doesnt itch at all if you shave every day (also only take a couple of minutes to keep on top of it)

I would never go back to having pubes again!

Sex feels better, oral sex feels better and I feel sexier. (not that I am getting it right now, but still holding out hope lol)

If you are performing oral sex correctly providing the undercarriage and clit area are debris free what does it matter if the mons pubis has its natural silky hair

I dont even understand this? surely its not about whether you are performing it correctly or not! from experience it feels better hairfree and I am only imagine its nicer to give when someone is hair free. WIN WIN.

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Thu 20-Jun-13 13:15:22

Ok, this is a VERY direct question Goneinapuff, but how on earth do you safely take a razor to your outer labs? Can't believe I just asked that.

Gruntfuttock Thu 20-Jun-13 13:16:03

"Sex feels better, oral sex feels better and I feel sexier. (not that I am getting it right now, but still holding out hope lol)"

No, I didn't think you were getting it right now. I'm sure there would have been loads of typos if you were. wink

FarleyCharlie Thu 20-Jun-13 13:24:41

Loving this thread! I remember some years ago I was in a taxi with my FIL and 6yo niece who, quite randomly said her mummy waxes her bum and carried on for ages about it.... I was like grin at my FILs transfixed cerise face at the thought of his daughters hairy arse!!!

Sorry off the subject.... Shaved undercarriage, short trimmed uppercarriage for me

Goneinapuffofsmoke Thu 20-Jun-13 13:25:14

Myphone I use one of those really expensive razors with the 'pad' things on which have oils or whatever embedded into them, I have been shaving down there for years so it is kind of second nature now, you dont even have to be very bendy you can do it all by 'feel' alternatively do it when you are i the bath.

Cant believe I just typed that out !!! lol !!

Grunt I will have you know that I am very good at multi-tasking !! anything is possible grin

Kione Thu 20-Jun-13 13:45:32

I use DP shaving foam he doesent mind on bit I tell you! the more inner bit is actually a lot easier to keep smooth, as someone said, it takes a minute if not less every couple of day. wash my hair every other day do my bits every other day, alternategrin
the bikini sides, another story, red stubles and painful but I go to the swimming pool twice a week so thinking about having the permanent removal done.
Pics are fun!

CarpeVinum Thu 20-Jun-13 13:47:57

I always thought it was an urban myth about getting a baldy foof

I wish I had known about the "myth", would have been less of a shock.

I keep checking mine for thinning or bald spots.

I wonder if a comb over would work in the earlier stages of loss ?

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 14:02:18

goneina blowjobs would be better if i didnt have a gag reflex is that the next step? removing the gag reflex?

I dont understand what you dont understand as i remove all my underneath stragglers and the areas around my most sensitive part I cant imagine it would feel better without hair on my little mound! Am i doing it wrong? Is DH doing it wrong?

Also on a side note, the one time i went all off the regrowth was awful, stubble is a bitch! whats all that about? Friction burns from stubble or DH having to remove the odd stray from his teeth? The dirty bastard doesnt floss anyway im doing him a favour.

CarpeVinum Thu 20-Jun-13 14:09:52

blowjobs would be better if i didnt have a gag reflex is that the next step? removing the gag reflex?

The hand acting as a "drill stop" trick ?

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 14:14:57

drill stop grin

For mutual benefit I would need to find a way to wire DHs tongue with a variable vibrate function - fair is fair after all.

This is extreme body modification going on here, endless possibilities!

PostBellumBugsy Thu 20-Jun-13 14:25:19

I must be missing a trick, because sex doesn't feel any different to me whatever shape my minge is and I have covered pretty much every style there is. Surely all the bits that really set your pulse racing are not hairy anyway?

Goneinapuffofsmoke Thu 20-Jun-13 14:28:49

I dont understand what you dont understand as i remove all my underneath stragglers and the areas around my most sensitive part I cant imagine it would feel better without hair on my little mound! Am i doing it wrong? Is DH doing it wrong?

Possibly?? have you actually tried it without hair?

Probably WAY too much detail, but oral sex doesnt just include licking one or two little areas! or it certainly doesnt for me! I can assure you it heightens the sensations A LOT when there arent any pubes in the way, and I find men are much happier to go down there when they dont have to spit out a forest afterwards grin

Dont knock it until you've tried it wink

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 14:43:42

I did take it all off once and all i got was stubble - that was bloody uncomfortable, its actually the only time I havent enjoyed oral sex as it was sore, itchy and i looked like a twat.

However, i can assure you i have never has any reluctance for anyone to go down there! Obviously i must have a very enticing fanjo if men will suck it up and put up with my natural state in order to please me. hmm

[punches air on attractiveness of vagina!]

Goneinapuffofsmoke Thu 20-Jun-13 14:50:09

I did take it all off once and all i got was stubble - that was bloody uncomfortable, its actually the only time I havent enjoyed oral sex as it was sore, itchy and i looked like a twat

You looked like a twat, or your twat did? wink grin

Nobody has ever been reluctance to go down on me either!! I just dont like watching someone picking pubes out of their mouth after!

You have to keep going when you shave, it takes a few weeks then you dont get stubble or itchiness any more.

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 14:52:35

Fuck that.

Cant be arsed.

Im going to grow it out and knit it into a scarf like suggested above.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Thu 20-Jun-13 14:55:41

I'd go for a a full grown lady garden, preferably died bright pink.

Goneinapuffofsmoke Thu 20-Jun-13 15:01:33


LOL go for it..

I once went for a run in my pre-shaving days, I dont wear underwear under my running kit and when I got back the front of my trousers resembled a small wig. Taking them off reminding me of splitting velcro...

I think that might have been when I first got out the razor..

PostBellumBugsy Thu 20-Jun-13 15:07:38

Proper laughing out loud at Gone's small wig!!!! I hope they weren't white running bottoms. grin

TheYamiOfYawn Thu 20-Jun-13 15:13:42

I shave everything underneath, and also at the sides, leaving a neat triangle of lush, unrestrained growth. I shave every day. If I leave it longer than every other day I get a rash, but a daily shave with a sharp razor seems to keep my skin fine.

There is one awkward bit sort of at the apex of my outer labia at the top where I can't angle the razor for absolute smoothness, but it only leaves the tiniest bit of stubble, and I still prefer the way that feels.

SonOfAradia Thu 20-Jun-13 15:39:46

As a mid-40s bloke, I have to say I hate the shaved/waxed look, it's real off-putting turnoff and the overall effect is all rather Tesco Value Chicken.

I love a full bush and I love going down. Pubes between the teeth is quite all right by me ;-)

OneMoreChap Thu 20-Jun-13 16:10:01

As a mid-40s bloke, I have to say I hate the shaved/waxed look, it's real off-putting turnoff

Interesting. I have 10+ years on you and I wonder if it's an age thing. <decides not to ask son or younger colleagues>

Goneinapuffofsmoke Thu 20-Jun-13 16:17:51

I love a full bush and I love going down. Pubes between the teeth is quite all right by me ;-)

You might not get a snog afterwards though wink

PostBellumBugsy Thu 20-Jun-13 16:17:53

arf at Tesco Value Chicken!!!!! I'll be having a good look next time I'm perusing the poultry aisle in Tesco and will then mentally add a little wig.
Fab thread. smile

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Thu 20-Jun-13 16:19:53

I think men should at the very least trim. My hubby absolutely would not. His pubes were (and probably still are) about 8 inches deep.

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 16:40:32

oh, I do like a man that actually LIKES women smile

FarleyCharlie Thu 20-Jun-13 17:19:58

I think men should at the very least trim. My hubby absolutely would not. His pubes were (and probably still are) about 8 inches deep.

I bet he would have had he known it makes him look bigger... Mine does and it's much nicer IMO

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 19:17:45

DH has agreed to offer his own pubic hair for my new scarf, I'm fair and he's very dark so we are going for stripes.

Il also let him know it will make him look bigger, he will be chuffed in sure.

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 19:18:00


NotAroundTheEyes Thu 20-Jun-13 19:26:27

PLEASE can someone answer this question for me:

What do folk mean when they say they 'keep it short'? confused

I mean - what - do you trim the length of with a pair of scissors and keep it to, like an inch long or something? Half an inch? Do you put in a few feathery layers for movement? Doesn't cutting it make it coarser? And stubblier?

I find all this so puzzling. I've dispensed with mine occasionally for my own pleasure hmm grin but never for a man.

I understand shaving waxing it off in whole or in part - especially if you essentially have sideburns on your inner thigh - but the 'keeping it short' biz has me COMPLETELY baffled.


NotAroundTheEyes Thu 20-Jun-13 19:28:08


EMUZ Thu 20-Jun-13 19:32:03

Short for me is scissors to about a cm or so in length. Or using a shit electric razor thing I have to go over it
<no 101 of things I never thought I would type>

NotAroundTheEyes Thu 20-Jun-13 19:35:15

Really? <interested> Is this a thing? Do lots of people do it? Does it still feel soft? I would have thought only a cm would mean it sort of stuck up a bit and was rather bristly but maybe no. . .

Hmmm. I might give this a go. 'Im Indoors can't bear it when I do a shave - a) I always cut the bloody great mole conveniently situated on m'minge and b) the first night's all right and then after that it's all scratching and stubble and me moaning and complaining like I've got crabs.

He'll take one look at it and go, "You've been on Mumsnet again haven't you" grin

EMUZ Thu 20-Jun-13 19:40:27

<sticks hand down to check> gringrin
Not bristly, nope
Used to use that Quattro razor which has a bikini trimmer on it. That works if you take the guard off

NotAroundTheEyes Thu 20-Jun-13 19:43:39

Perhaps I'll give it a shot with DH's hair cuttery things. Although - for ages I thought I'd managed to get thrush in my belly button, it was so red and itchy for days; turned out I'd got several of his bloody hairs in there from his last haircut hmm and they itched like billy-oh.

If that's what a few hairs does to my belly-button Christ knows what it's going to do to me flaps grin

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 19:46:29

grin Eyes Invent the mumsnet pube haircut.

EMUZ Thu 20-Jun-13 19:48:15

I shave the edge bits (kind of bikini line). Any more than that and I get sore irritated skin and in growing hairs. I think there's a revival for pubic hair! I'm a 20 something single and I've never had a man look aghast that I have pubic (and sometimes leg and armpit) hair

EMUZ Thu 20-Jun-13 19:54:19

And be careful if you use scissors grin I use little nail ones not great big kitchen scissors

Lovingmybabiesbottom Thu 20-Jun-13 20:10:00

It is nearly always the same. Women criticised for making an effort for a man. Is it really so bloody bad to make an effort for your husband even if that, gasp!!!, means doing something you may not otherwise choose to do.

My DH likes it all off. He has never asked me to do this. I just asked him one day and he said he likes it when I am really trim and likes the image of me completely smooth. My response? To book into a local waxing salon and have it all off, which I have been doing ever since.

On threads about personal grooming, whether it be shaving pubes, wearing make up daily or dressing for your man, there is always posters saying something along the lines of 'my DH loves me for exactly who I am' Or 'I don't need to make an effort for my DH, he loves me the way I am' etc. The inference being that if you do anything, absolutely anything, by way of personal grooming for your partner, then you are somehow weak or pathetic. Is it jealously that these mumsnetters can't be arsed to make an effort for their partner or have just given up, and so they scorn women who do?

I make an effort for my DH, hell yes! He mentions that he loves it when I have my hair curly, then I will curl it the next time we go out, he makes a comment he loves how smooth my back is, then I will buy a dress that hangs lower at the back, he responds to my questioning that he likes pubic hair removed, then I will damn well get my public hair removed!

Why is it ok to make an effort at the beginning of a relationship, but some mumsnetter s regard it as somehow weak and pathetic and a sign of a crap relationship, if you continue to make an effort after you have been together or married for any length of time.

NotAroundTheEyes Thu 20-Jun-13 20:17:08

'Course not Loving - if that's also what you want!

It'd only be a problem if a woman completely subjugated all her own tastes and preferences to her husband's.

Aetae Thu 20-Jun-13 20:46:20

Loving if you have no problem with going bald then why shouldn't you, especially if your husband likes it?

My issue is when women do things they don't want to do for men. For example, shaving or waxing my pubes gives me a horrible rash and the regrowth is beyond annoying it's so itchy. So I don't give a flying fuck how DH likes my nethers to be groomed, the hair isn't going anywhere (and tbh if he knew I didn't want to and did it anyway he'd be upset). On the other hand, he likes my hair long so while I've toyed with the idea of lopping it all off I also don't mind it long so I keep it that way.

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 20:46:43

you are being silly, loving

nobody has said you can't do what you want

if you want to please your husband, go ahead, but be sure he puts himself through similar pain for you

does he ?

but this OP isn't about a long term loving relationship, is it ?

so your comparison is actually a straw argument

Lovingmybabiesbottom Thu 20-Jun-13 20:51:09

Actually, my point was precisely about doing stuff that you may otherwise choose not to do I.e. if I was on my own, I sure as hell would not spend upwards of £30 a time to endure a rather painful treatment that is a Hollywood wax. I do it, because my husband responded to my questioning about it, that he likesnitnall off, so I am doing someone I do not enjoy doing, for my husband.
So anyfucker,

You misunderstood me

I know how you like big spaces between your sentences. To really get the force of your argument across.

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 20:53:10

You are questioning my argument along the lines of how much space I put between my sentences ?

Immediate fail, sorry

Lovingmybabiesbottom Thu 20-Jun-13 20:54:54

Your arrogance!!

I fail because how I respond to you.

I am actually giggling.

Thank you anyfucker

For making me giggle.

NotAroundTheEyes Thu 20-Jun-13 20:56:51


Just the depth of reasoning I would expect from someone with a username like that

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 20:57:30

what does your husband do that causes physical pain in order to please you ?

genuine question

it comes down to the Moran quote, for me

“I have a rule of thumb that allows me to judge, when times is pressing and one needs to make a snap judgment, whether or not some sexist bullshit is afoot. Obviously, it’s not 100% infallible but by and large it definitely points you in the right direction and it's asking this question; are the men doing it? Are the men worrying about this as well? Is this taking up the men’s time? Are the men told not to do this, as it's letting the side down? Are the men having to write bloody books about this exasperating retarded, time-wasting, bullshit? Is this making Jeremy Clarkson feel insecure?

Almost always the answer is no. The boys are not being told they have to be a certain way, they are just getting on with stuff.”
&#8213; Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

yes, there are plenty of spaces in that post, dismiss it if it helps

Lovingmybabiesbottom Thu 20-Jun-13 20:57:46

Agreed, it is a ridiculous name and misspelt.

Lovingmybabiesbottom Thu 20-Jun-13 21:00:36

He does the BBQ. Which is an awful twenty year crap heap of a BBQ. Not lethal, but certainly wouldn't stand up to any rigorous safety tests. Every time it is used, he gets a little burn or singes a bit of hair. Why does he do it? Because I love a good BBQ! He on the other hand cant stand barbecues.

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 21:01:14


Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 21:04:31

"My partner loves me for exactly who I am"

Thats my idea of marriage really. Loving someone for everything they are, the good and the bad.

Lovingmybabiesbottom Thu 20-Jun-13 21:08:29

Boosterseat, did you rock up to the first few dates with your partner/husband in your truly most relaxed state, as though you were about to curl up in front of the TV with a giant bar of choc?


Did you shave your legs, brush your teeth, put on some lippie? Basically present an image of yourself that is perhaps a bit 'better' than who you naturally are.

ALittleStranger Thu 20-Jun-13 21:10:07

Some men are visually turned on by a full bush. Maybe it's the novelty factor.

Although I'm guessing that if the OP's bloke is off the cock shot variety than I'm guessing he's got a lot of his sexual mores from porn and will probably expect the waxed look. hmm

I think this is the first thread I've read where people have claimed that cock shots from near strangers are fun.

Nothing wrong with Natural look.

FarleyCharlie Thu 20-Jun-13 21:17:24

Ok I understand how your dh should love you as you are but isn't it awful if he cringes when he sees you naked if you've got a full jacko5 and it puts him off... Bit like hairy legs and armpits makes me feel dirty to leave it all grow like that...bit like having a beard, things get caught in it IYKWIM wink

We both trim etc, we have a special trimmer for the purpose... And everyone's happy. But I do remember in the olden days when I waxed and he had a full bush... I dropped a hint and he took it on, doesn't hurt to ask your partner if it's something you like, they can only say no.

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 21:22:37

if my husband cringed at the sight of what is normal anatomy I would brand him a hater of women and tell him to take a hike

what is wrong with you women buying into "pubes are dirty" and "I must do these painful things to please him"

no, they are not

and no, you shouldn't be expected to

FarleyCharlie Thu 20-Jun-13 21:26:16

anyfucker I mean because when you get your period, there I said it! I'm sure I don't have to go into more details sits in corner and rocks

FarleyCharlie Thu 20-Jun-13 21:27:29

And my husband LIKES to see my normal anatomy, hence the shaving/trimming combo grin

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 21:28:57

when you get your period ?

no more detail required, other than what I advised my menarchal 13yo daughter

soap and water, tampons, soap and water

the female body is not dirty, unless you have dirty habits of course

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 21:30:38

farley, why are you ashamed of your period ?

I hope you don't pass on those damaging ideas to your daughters (and sons)

FarleyCharlie Thu 20-Jun-13 21:31:48

Just had flashback of younger 'natural' me, pulling out a tuft of minge instead of tampon cord... Now that hurt! Lol

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 21:32:43

how silly hmm

FarleyCharlie Thu 20-Jun-13 21:36:29

It's not even about that... It's about how it makes you FEEL and whether your comfortable with it I guess... If you like it all there then keep it on. No biggie. I'm just expressing my own personal opinion as is everyone else.

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 21:36:46

loving yes, he was my friend 1st and I'm not nervous by

confidence is sexy, if minge topiary makes you feel sexy then power to you. I just don't like being told I'm jealous if I'm not a performer.

ALittleStranger Thu 20-Jun-13 21:37:25

FarleyCharlie get yourself a mooncup, then you won't have any string confusion.

Aetae Thu 20-Jun-13 21:38:43

Farley that's kind of the point though. Some people like to be hairy, some people like to be bald, some people like something in between (and some people like to have sex with people who have all the variations as well). Live and let live. The problem is compunction. How would you feel if your sexual partner insisted that you stay completely hairy and all natural when you don't want to be?

AnyFucker Thu 20-Jun-13 21:38:49

please be careful about what you "feel" being passed on to your children

it seems to be rather out of proportion, farley, to be rocking in the corner about a natural event such as your period

Boosterseat Thu 20-Jun-13 21:39:04

By nature.

Ipad fingers.

and I brush my teeth twice daily, that never slips.

FarleyCharlie Thu 20-Jun-13 21:43:35

Oh lighten up... I'm just trying to lighten the mood as it appears to become a very serious matter..... Were discussing PUBES here FGS. I seriously think do as you feel comfortable. Theres no point in getting your knickers in a twist over bloody PUBES is there?

badinage Thu 20-Jun-13 21:45:35

One of the things that makes me rueful about this thread is that sex seems to have become so sterile for some people. Whether this fashion is really connected to an obsession with 'feeling clean' (there's obviously no evidence that people with pubic hair are dirtier than those without), a dislike of bodily hair generally or the rather more obvious porn influences, is anyone's guess.

I also feel genuinely sorry that some people find it acceptable to send and receive photographs of genitalia before even seeing someone's face and meeting them in person. How is all this sterility, pain and adherance to porn standards of physical beauty, sexual progress and liberation?

One of the things that makes me rueful about this thread is that sex seems to have become so sterile for some people.

My sex life is far from sterile, it's pure filth.

badinage Thu 20-Jun-13 21:58:38

Is it?

I prefer mine to be varied, personally wink

I was, of course, referring to the constant references on this thread to perceived cleanliness and an apparent aversion to mouths coming into contact with bodily hair.

Whether this fashion is really connected to an obsession with 'feeling clean' (there's obviously no evidence that people with pubic hair are dirtier than those without), a dislike of bodily hair generally or the rather more obvious porn influences, is anyone's guess.

I've got a bit of a theory on this, badinage (this is just what I 'reckon' though - don't take it too seriously or ask me to back it up or anything) ...

In the olden days, the porn came from Europe and was very hairy. Since the birth of the internet we've been inundated with porn from the US and it's bald as a coot. I think the old American puritanism lives on in some respects and has become entangled in the porn aesthetic in an odd way, so that the current fashion for hairlessness is to do with both perceived cleanliness and porn.

That's just what I 'reckon' though smile

PostBellumBugsy Thu 20-Jun-13 22:18:35

Think I must live in an alternate universe. Sex including oral feels no different to me if I'm sporting an American, Brazillian or my Jackson 5. I've also never wrenched my pubes out in the mistaken belief they were a tampon string either! I'm worried now I must have really weird pubes because they feel like hair and don't actually grow out of my vag.

All this thread has done has made me think there should be more nudist beaches and warm summers in the UK. Head to such places in France and everyone is very chilled about their pubes whatever they look like.

BadSkiingMum Thu 20-Jun-13 22:22:36

Surely sex should be a bit dirty?

Men might express a preference about it, but I would be a bit hmm about any man who was actually put off by a harmless bit of hair.

Tbh, I think at that point, they don't really care...

Also, it raises my hackles to think that this has all somehow emerged in the last 15 years or so, funnily enough, alongside the massive increase opinion online porn. When I was growing up, no one, seriously no one, ever mentioned hair removal as part of someone's sexual appeal.

mirry2 Thu 20-Jun-13 22:23:43

What's a jackson five? You can tell i'm old. I wouldn't even know about minge topiary if I wasn't a mumsnetter. It's an education.

It's this hairdo ... but not on your head.

DonutForMyself Thu 20-Jun-13 22:29:08

Loving that my Jackson 5 quote has become shorthand for the natural look on is thread!

Someone came up with the name 'Borneo' a while back which I like because it fits with 'Hollywood', 'Brazilian' etc. grin

DonutForMyself Thu 20-Jun-13 22:30:06

It was my DPs reaction when I told him I don't do trimming.... "Are we talking Jackson 5 here?!"

gymboywalton Thu 20-Jun-13 22:43:43

those of you who think that removing your pubic hair is cleaner, you are wrong

read this

curlew Thu 20-Jun-13 22:51:29

There are two things about this debate that make me particularly sad.

1) there is now yet another bit of a woman's body that has to be painfully and regularly manipulated otherwise it will be smelly, dirty, repulsive......because woman in her natural state is all of those things.

2) that once again, women are being expected to buy into a pornographic sensibility. And men are being told that that's what they should expect of women.

gymboywalton Thu 20-Jun-13 22:54:38

yes curlew i agree

curlew Thu 20-Jun-13 22:54:56

Oh and "cleaner"? Do me a favour. If this was about cleanliness, we would be talking another removing hair from around the urethral and vaginal openings, so that traces of urine, discharge and menstrual blood could be easily wiped away. There is possibly a practical argument for that. But removing all hair? How on earth do you get pee and blood all over the entire pubic area?

gymboywalton Thu 20-Jun-13 22:58:01

read the article i linked to- shaving and waxing is actually dirtier and allows more bacteria to grow in the area

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 20-Jun-13 23:00:24


What will happen do you think when your hair thins, your fanjo gets wrinkly and your back is no longer smooth? What will you do to 'please your husband' then?
Perhaps he will discard you for a younger model?

I find your posts utterly depressing, and very sad that you feel your relationship pivots around such trivial things.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Thu 20-Jun-13 23:13:43

I prefer it all off.

It definitely feels different when I am having sex - it's much more sensitive (which is logical!)... and you tend to get more oral action, which isn't a bad thing!

I prefer it all off when I have my period - it definitely feels cleaner (yes soap, water, tampons - but sadly since my period got a lot heavier it's messier and I can't be in the shower 8 times a day - esp not at work!).

If it's already all off I don't have to faff when I want to go swimming.

I have taken it all off for years, long before it was 'The Trend' and before it was 'The Trend in Porn' - so no 'terrible' influences there... I've had partners who like it (great) and partners who were more partial to either 'landing strips' or 'Jackson5's' - if I felt like it at the time I'd have a 'style change' if I didn't I wouldn't <shrug>

However, it's expensive in the SE of the UK to get anything waxed and I wont shave/wax/veet it all of myself <too many painful episodes!! LOL> so it's 'wild & free' at the minute - fortunately it behaves itself quite nicely so it's not a Jackson 5 with side burns grin

waterlego Thu 20-Jun-13 23:37:32

Badskiingmum: When I was growing up, no one, seriously no one, ever mentioned hair removal as part of someone's sexual appeal.

Absolutely! In my world, at least, the brain is the biggest sexual organ. Once one has got as far as genitals, hair or otherwise is irrelevant.

And as for isn't it awful if he cringes when he sees you naked...

I could never imagine my OH cringing at the sight of my naked body. What a sad thing that would be, and definitely a deal breaker for me.

He doesn't cringe about my pubic hair, or my crepey tummy, or the fact that my boobs look much smaller in the flesh than they do in clothes. grin

RinseAndRepeat Thu 20-Jun-13 23:54:54

No way would I let a guy who sent me cock pics anywhere near my pubes, immaculate or otherwise.

RinseAndRepeat Thu 20-Jun-13 23:57:05

I look at it like a hairstyle. I wear it how I like at the time. Over the years I've experimented with all off, none off, some off, triangles, landing strips...

I like to mix it up. DP is always oblivious.

MechanicalTheatre Fri 21-Jun-13 00:15:28

Personally, I trim most of the time, shave the sides if I'm going swimming.

But if I'm on the pull, I prefer to leave as much as possible. A full bush is like a barometer. If he doesn't like it, and thinks it's his place to comment, then I know he's a tit and the relationship will go no further.

My flatmate went to the gym the other day and said "there was a woman next to me in the showers with a MASSIVE bush," and I'm like "er, ok." I mean, who fucking cares, why would you even notice?

I can't believe how much things have changed in 10 years. When I was at university, no-one I knew waxed it all off. Now it's just the norm, and if you do any different, it's like "eugh, it's dirty." Get a fucking LIFE, it is PUBES, not a flea-infested sewer-dwelling rat.

Shave it all off, wax, trim, leave it. Whatever. But don't give me this shit about it being cleaner because that's just some shit that marketing people came up with to make you buy their stuff.

And as for men shaving their pubes, well, fuck, it just doesn't look sexy at all to me. Way too groomed and footballery. The image of a man hunched over the bog trimming himself with a pair of nail scissors is just le boke.

Curlew: why does your post refer only to women? Throughout the thread people have talked about men doing this too. Why are you overlooking that and turning it into an issue about women?

changeforthebetter Fri 21-Jun-13 05:58:02

He's sent you photos of his bits before you've had sex?! shockshockshock
<mind boggles at modern dating>
<clutches cardi and cats>
<feels vair middle-aged>

There's not much point in a photo after you've had sex is there?

Change2013 Fri 21-Jun-13 07:16:52

On the one hand I have found parts of this discussion hilarious. However recently a friend was dating again after a long relationship (we're in our forties). Her new boyfriend wanted to discuss something with her and it turned out to be the fact that he preferred a Brazilian.

I must admit I was a bit shocked by a man wanting to steer his new girlfriend in what she should do with her pubes but then I was in a relationship for over 20 years so am clearly out of touch.

Lovingmybabiesbottom Fri 21-Jun-13 07:41:01

Alibaba, i asked my auestion the bery question you posed me.

His response?

I guess your sparkling wit, searing intelligence, kindness and general incredible inner beauty will have to see you through.

Lovingmybabiesbottom Fri 21-Jun-13 07:41:28

Sorry, got a baby in my arms.

Meant that I asked my husband the very question you posed me.

nkf Fri 21-Jun-13 07:53:59

I don't understand how people can enjoy oral sex but.mind pubic hair. hair in the mouth? That's.also where urine comes from. It just seems.misplaced squeamishness.

OneMoreChap Fri 21-Jun-13 08:16:12


Misread your post.

Saw excerpt "I don't understand how people can enjoy oral sex"...

Reading properly, yes +1 to that.

DonutForMyself Fri 21-Jun-13 08:24:43

Interesting article Gymboy and it backs up what I've found on the odd occasion that I've got carried away with the tidy up - I feel more sweaty rather than cleaner without the hair - perhaps because the hair has a job to do, which is wicking away the moisture (& bacteria) from the skin.

I do epilate my armpits and leave them for a few hours afterwards before applying deodorant because I'm conscious that I've just created a load of tiny holes in my skin where the hair has been removed. If it weren't so socially unacceptable to sport hairy pits I would definitely keep them too, as I'm sure I would feel less sweaty and I quite like the look of it, but I couldn't cope with the horrified looks from everyone else every time I lift my arms.

Minge topiary however, only has one other viewer apart from me and fortunately he isn't horrified by it. If he were, I would probably think less of him, especially as he can't be bothered to have a shave most days and does nothing with his body hair (thankfully!) so he doesn't have a leg to stand on hair-wise.

Goneinapuffofsmoke Fri 21-Jun-13 10:37:43

What is wrong with doing things to please your man!!!

By the end of my marriage my sex life was virtually none existent. Possibly because I let myself go (as he did) and didnt make any effort whatsoever. IF I ever have a new relationship I will spend every day pleasing my man, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Boosterseat Fri 21-Jun-13 11:07:40

gone as long as he spends every day doing the same then it isn’t a problem is it?

pube preening is not exactly prerequisite to taking care of yourself.

I eat well, go to the gym 4 nights a week, do at home Pilates and a stomach toning regime. I’m in good nick for my self-esteem and health not to conform to a stepford ideal.

differentnameforthis Fri 21-Jun-13 11:48:19

I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes

You do what YOU want with regards to your pubic hair. Seriously! You do what you feel comfortable with & he can like it or lump it.

Oh for heaven's sake if he wants it bare who cares, it is what the OP wants, not him! Would any of you shave your heads of your dps/dhs wanted it?

differentnameforthis Fri 21-Jun-13 11:50:32

I don't really know what he might be expecting

To be fair, he has absolutely no right to be expecting anything in that department. He gets what he gets given. End. Of.

differentnameforthis Fri 21-Jun-13 12:25:33

if he does have a preference, a session between the two of you with a bowl of warm water, some cream and a razor is the answer No it isn't, not unless the op wants to do that for herself.

* I'd hate to be the one female he remembers as being the 'hairy' one* Yeah, much better to be the one he doesn't remember at all, because everyone seems to be hairless now. Here's a novel idea op, if he can only remember you because of how you looked in between your legs, perhaps he isn't someone to get involved with!

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 12:28:02

Why is it so unacceptable for a man to have a preference, in the body hair area, or in anything else?

Personally, I would be very turned off if my DP didn't trim/shave. I like the trimmed look, and so does he, so it works. If someone doesn't agree with your personal preference, it doesn't make him (or her) a knobhead, it just means that you like different things.

I'm naturally a brunette, but had my hair blonde for ages, before I met my DP. A few years ago, I decided I wanted to go back, and did. His only comment about it was, "It's nice, but I prefer you brunette." and shortly after, I died it back. Not because I'm a cowardly little woman who bows to a man's decision, but because, honestly, I could care less what colour my hair is, and if he has a preference, I'll go with it to make him happy.

I don't get why this is such a big deal??

OneMoreChap Fri 21-Jun-13 12:30:42

^ Would any of you shave your heads of your dps/dhs wanted it?^

Err, yes?
She cuts my hair, and she can cut it as short as she wants... I just wouldn't accept a Charlton comb-over.

differentnameforthis Fri 21-Jun-13 12:33:56

I wouldn't send photos to someone who was only going to be "fun fun fun" you never know, after you have had your fun, where they will end up!

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 12:34:12

He gets what he gets given.

What a shitty attitude to have... Relationships are about give and take.

differentnameforthis Fri 21-Jun-13 12:35:17


I shave my dh's head too, but I was talking about the women who are all about shaving their bits because 'dp likes it'

I bet most of them wouldn't!

differentnameforthis Fri 21-Jun-13 12:35:56

Not when it comes to my body it isn't!

differentnameforthis Fri 21-Jun-13 12:37:58

Why is it so unacceptable for a man to have a preference, in the body hair area, or in anything else?

It isn't unacceptable for him to have an opinion. I just don't think we should have to shave ourselves bare, just because it is 'his preference'.

Hullygully Fri 21-Jun-13 12:39:48


It has never ever ever occurred to me or dh to hack at our nether hair.

dear lord.

Hullygully Fri 21-Jun-13 12:41:31


<faints dead away>

If someone sent me a photo of their genitals I would send it to their mum and to the police.

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 12:42:32

You don't have to do it, but if you don't care one way or the other, and it makes him happy, why is that such a bad thing?

PostBellumBugsy Fri 21-Jun-13 12:50:15

Of course it isn't unacceptable for someone to have a preference. My ex-H used to wear really, really loud shirts - I expressed a preference that I didn't like them. I did not shudder in distaste, was not repelled by him because of them & did not expect him to bow to my preference. And that wasn't even his natural body.

We are all going to have preferences and that is just fine. What isn't fine is to feel pressurised into doing anything for fear of being somehow repulsive or not a turn on, particularly when it involves something perfectly normal and ok.

One of the biggest dangers for me of casual sex was just becoming the sum total of my body parts. It is an easy trap to fall into.

Goneinapuffofsmoke Fri 21-Jun-13 14:17:21

Hullygully its perfectly normal for two consenting adults to send each other pics. I presume there will have been a lead up to it!

Hullygully Fri 21-Jun-13 14:37:31

Excuse me.

It is by no means PERFECTLY NORMAL

gymboywalton Fri 21-Jun-13 14:43:22

i am with hully-it is def not normal!!!

Boomba Fri 21-Jun-13 14:57:03

What is a 'Jackson 5'??? confused

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 14:58:50

Just because you don't do it, doesn't mean that it isn't "normal". It's estimated that 1 in 5 adults do it, but with apps like Snapchat, it's probably even more common than that.

Goneinapuffofsmoke Fri 21-Jun-13 15:10:44

Hullygully and gymboy

As Reggie says, just because you dont do it it doesnt mean its not normal !!

Anything between two consenting adults is absolutely fine. If you dont want to send/received pics then dont, but anyone wishing to do so shouldnt be made to feel that they are abnormal !

Hullygully Fri 21-Jun-13 15:14:16

It still isn't normal

It may not be arrestable

But it isn't normal

ALittleStranger Fri 21-Jun-13 15:14:23

It may be more common in a more established relationship but I don't think it's "normal" pre-DTD.

I've always wondered why some men think it's acceptable to send cock shots on OD and assumed that it must in part be because some women are [fill in the blank] enough to find it fun.

NoonarAgain Fri 21-Jun-13 15:16:04

This thread makes me want to weep. Honestly. I totally agree with curlew and anyfucker. I feel very sad for the women who think they are exercising 'free will' on this issue, and cannot see how they are being manipulated by socio/ cultural influences. And I also find it very ignorant and depressing that so few women on here think that the feminist angle is relevant.

I have an 11 year old dd and we have a discussion about shaving legs and underarms and she is fully aware of the debates surrounding to shave or not to shave and how shaving has become fashionable. How sad, dear god, to think that she may soon become aware of the shaven fanny debate. And very soon after growing the pubes in the first place!

A question for those who have teen aged dds...What do you tell your dds with regard to shaving off your own pubes? How do you explain it? (I am a bushy roll model for my dds as you may guess. )What will / do you feel when your dds decide to shave their pubes off? Or tell you their boy friend is asking for that ? Will you support them, or will you finding it rather shocking and sad?

I bet there are many young women out there who don't even know what their own natural hair looks like. I find that scary and sad.

Boosterseat Fri 21-Jun-13 15:16:23

Perhaps people take pictures of willies because they "will last longer"

Just wait until a 15 year old hacker works out how to access all the sent mms messages and they get posted online.

Goneinapuffofsmoke Fri 21-Jun-13 15:21:13

I have a teenage daughter and I dont have to 'explain' anything to her about why I shave, its up to me, its my body.

She shaves her underarms and legs and has done since she was 12 because she swims competitively and aside from feeling self-consious in a cossie if she was hairy, hairs can actually slow you down.

We have discussed that if her bikini line gets 'out of hand' then she will remove the hairs there too.

I can still be a good role model to my teenage daughter with a shaved fanny ;-)

Goneinapuffofsmoke Fri 21-Jun-13 15:23:03


I wouldnt dream of doing many a thing sexually, but that doesnt mean those things are not normal

Do you think anal sex is normal for instance?

pinkpeony Fri 21-Jun-13 15:44:37

This thread is hilarious!

The Mail has even published an article about the topic, complete with a survey!

amothersplaceisinthewrong Fri 21-Jun-13 15:47:54


Does you partner have a Brazilian?

amothersplaceisinthewrong Fri 21-Jun-13 15:49:28

I have a 22 year old daughter. I have no idea if she shaves her nethers. It is not something we have ever discussed. But knowing who she is, I would strongly suspect that if any boy asked her to do this she would tell him to go to hell in a handcart.

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 16:16:28

ALittleStranger I've always wondered why some men think it's acceptable to send cock shots on OD and assumed that it must in part be because some women are [fill in the blank] enough to find it fun.

So, it's not okay for the man I love to tell me what he likes, but it's okay for another woman who I've never met to tell me what I'm allowed to enjoy or not, and to insult me if it's something that you don't agree with?! hmm

Hullygully Fri 21-Jun-13 16:22:36

that doesn't make sense

DonutForMyself Fri 21-Jun-13 16:30:39

I love this comment on the Daily Fail website:

"Trust me, the VAST majority of men do not prefer a natural look if it's like the Jackson Five's plughole on bathnight." My DP is obviously not the only one to see the similarity!

findingme Fri 21-Jun-13 16:31:53

I think it's fine to express a preference, but if your partner doesn't want to change then that is that. I don't particularly like big hairy beards and moustaches and have said this to DH but if he grows one I wouldn't tell him to shave it off. DH expressed a preference for me to shave my pubes in the early days. I tried once, never again. 10 years later and it hasn't been mentioned again. Take advice off your partner by all means, but you have the final say.

I think the most important thing to ask yourself is - Do YOU want to?

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 16:33:19

Erm, it does, actually. hmm Everyone is up in arms over the "right", or lack thereof, of your partner to influence you with their wishes or preferences. If I'm going to take anyone's preferences into account, certainly it would be reasonable that it would be the person that you choose to spend your life with.

But ALittleStranger is saying that a) it's unacceptable for men to send cock shots full stop, and b) that any woman who enjoys cock shots are [fill in the blank] enough to find it fun.

Who is she to say what is acceptable for all men to do, and who is she to tell me what I should or shouldn't find fun?!

I find it very, very strange that you're lambasting women who take their partner's preferences into consideration, yet think that a stranger on an internet forum has the right to tell all men everywhere that it's unacceptable to show their willy to their partner, and that all women everywhere should not like said photo.

Boomba Fri 21-Jun-13 16:35:53 I have this correct?

A 'Jackson 5' refers to a full pubic bush?

Because black peoples hair looks like pubic hair?


DonutForMyself Fri 21-Jun-13 16:37:05

I must admit I'm a little torn after reading all the pro-waxing comments. While I am happy with mine the way it is, my XH wanted to shave off all his body hair, believing that he would feel 'cleaner' without it (I helped him wax his back, which made me a bit sad, but he preferred it so I did it). The idea of his body totally bald made me feel physically sick and I knew I wouldn't be able to have sex with him if he had no body hair.

So what I'm trying to say is, I suppose there is an argument for taking into account what your OH likes (XH told me we didn't have sex often enough for my opinion to count hmm so if it made him happy I should put up with it).

Maybe if you have strong opinions either way then perhaps you're just not suited to each other - a bit like a smoker and a non-smoker - if you can't live with the smell and the other won't give up, then you either resent each other or leave. If you don't want to shave your bits and your man only likes baldies, I suppose you either live with it and accept that he doesn't want to go down there or you split up over pubes, which seems very sad!

DonutForMyself Fri 21-Jun-13 16:43:44

Boomba, it was a joke about the volume of my (obviously dark and curly) bush. It wasn't saying that black people's hair looks like pubes, it was saying that my pubes look like an afro, so the only butt of the joke was me, not an entire race, don't panic.

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 16:48:28

Agreed Donut.

Djangounhinged Fri 21-Jun-13 16:56:47

Reggie, I think ALittleStranger is referring to cock shots from men on OD sites, whom you've never met....

ALittleStranger Fri 21-Jun-13 16:58:58

Django I am indeed, and I will struggle to accept that cock shots sent to near strangers is what the cool kids are doing now.

Boomba Fri 21-Jun-13 17:03:28

Gosh yes, heaven forbid

hilarious hmm

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 17:07:35

ALittle My apologies... I couldn't figure out what OD was, so took it to mean "online devices" (a stretch, I see now!). Sorry blush

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 17:07:48

I do agree, unsolicited cock shots are a no-go.

badinage Fri 21-Jun-13 17:30:37

I agree with whoever observed that it's the lack of thinking about the context of this that's so baffling. Even children understand the effect of socialisation, fashion and why they are drawn to a particular 'look' at a point in time.

It's also the peculiar straw men that get introduced on threads like this.

As far as I can tell, various sensible respondents have supported individuals' choices to do what the hell they want with their own bodies, with the caveat that no fashion or grooming choice is ever made in a social vacuum and that pressure or coercion from a partner is a Jolly Bad Thing.

This gets received as "Wah! Wah! How dare you say my DP can't express his likes and dislikes!"

Then there are the observations that sending uploadable genitalia pictures to people you've never even met might be unwise - and cautionary advice about the sort of men who think that strangers are interested in their cock images - which after all is the very situation the OP is describing.

Only for there to be endless posts about sharing photographs with an established partner which has got nothing to do with the OP's individual circumstances, bearing in mind she has never met this bloke.


reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 17:40:17

Erm, the OP has said they've been friends for a while...

badinage Fri 21-Jun-13 17:52:52

How can We knew eachother at a distance be interpreted as we've been friends for a while?

They've been texting for a while, but there's no sense that they've been meeting up regularly on a face-to-face basis - y'know, like friends do.

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Fri 21-Jun-13 17:58:53

amothersplace He's not my partner! He's someone I've been getting to know over about six months. Yes, he shaves. I know this as he has sent me cock shots. Sorry to be indelicate, I have tried to use fairly ladylike language since starting the thread.

Basically I fancy the hell out of him and I am GAGGING to have sex with him!! I don't intend to get into a serious relationship with him.

It's been a long time since I've felt like this and I intend to make the most of it when it happens and throw everything I have at it, as it may only be a one-off.

reggiebean Fri 21-Jun-13 18:02:26

MyPhone Just do what makes you feel sexy, and jump on him grin

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Fri 21-Jun-13 18:04:55

Thank you reggie smile

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 18:42:55

Nobody has told you to not shag the arse off him, btw

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 18:43:04


Tea1Sugar Fri 21-Jun-13 19:03:44

I'm 25. All off Hollywood style!

badgeroncaffeine Fri 21-Jun-13 19:06:32

Just ignore AF folks.

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 19:09:14

Don't bring the chip on your d

That chip on your shoulder is showing, badger

It must be breaking your back by now

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 19:09:40

Oops random half sentence there smile

lottieandmia Fri 21-Jun-13 19:09:45

There are loads of people here who will say that people only remove hair because of porn and how awful it is. That said, I don't think you should do anything for a man - it should be for yourself. I prefer to remove all hair - it just looks tidier and feels neater imo. But I have it like this whether single or otherwise. In Europe I hear it's not as fashionable to remove it all as it is in the UK.

badgeroncaffeine Fri 21-Jun-13 19:11:23

D'oh!! No chip on my shoulder, unlike yours....

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 19:11:47

Badger, there are a few porn threads you haven't been all over yet

You are slacking, what's up, wanked yourself out ? grin

badgeroncaffeine Fri 21-Jun-13 19:12:19're not getting any better at this are you? grin

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 19:14:02

Look, just admit you are attracted to me,.then folks don't have to feel uncomfortable with why you have followed me onto the thread

It's only fair

badgeroncaffeine Fri 21-Jun-13 19:16:51

No, I'd rather you weren't here at all actually.
As for attraction, I prefer people with a bit of intelligence.

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 19:18:43

You just can't leave me alone

I realise it's a cross for you to bear < head tilt >

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 19:19:40

I am about to go out of broadband range

Until we meet again....

badgeroncaffeine Fri 21-Jun-13 19:20:26

As I said people, ignore. This is why...

AnyFucker Fri 21-Jun-13 19:21:40

it wasn't you that started it then ?

badgeroncaffeine Fri 21-Jun-13 19:24:04

Who normally "starts it"? Ask yourself that...

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Fri 21-Jun-13 19:29:03

AnyFucker - is that kid pulling your pigtails again? I think it must be lurrrrrrrrrrrrve.

badgeroncaffeine Fri 21-Jun-13 19:29:56

D'oh! Birds of a feather...

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Fri 21-Jun-13 19:30:57

Badger - why come onto a thread simply to slag AF off. That's just weird.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Fri 21-Jun-13 19:32:21

Birds of a feather

Hardly - I disagree with AF as often as I agree with her and her me <at best>.

badgeroncaffeine Fri 21-Jun-13 19:33:38

Yeah, yeah...

CarpeVinum Fri 21-Jun-13 19:35:56

he has sent me cock shots


<has a Prudy Suzie moment>

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Fri 21-Jun-13 19:42:31

Chipping I thought that too about the pigtails. Honestly. I'm sure I seen a personal attack there too. Some people don't like others who call a bastard a bastard I guess.

Cock shots??

< bookmarks and goes back to watching TV>

HotCrossPun Fri 21-Jun-13 19:53:29

I've done a wax/shave combo for as long as I can remember.

My DP has never expressed a preference either way.

After reading a thread about this a few weeks ago I decided to let my bush grow. I love it now! I'm taking the same number of showers so I feel just as clean as I did before.

Kione Fri 21-Jun-13 21:45:38

Hullygully, police??? really???

We are talking here pics that are exchanged, asked for, enjoyed and yes I insist: fun. Honestly FFS, XXI century anyone?

dont show your face and if they go astray not big deal!? surely?

CarpeVinum Fri 21-Jun-13 21:55:18

XXI century anyone?

Hey I have a kid at an online independant school out of choice. I am well cutting edge me.

But Waggled Willy pics?

Rather be a Luddite in that regard...

nethunsreject Fri 21-Jun-13 21:56:07

Having just read this thread, I am never entering the world of dating and shagging ever again should dh vanish. What a nightmare! Shaved fannies and willie pictures! Eek!

CarpeVinum Fri 21-Jun-13 21:59:03

Having just read this thread, I am never entering the world of dating and shagging ever again should dh vanish.


I'd rather cobweb over than face "romance" in the New Era of Pubic Politics.

sweetpeasunday Fri 21-Jun-13 22:01:20

Sorry, going back to page 3, One More Chap, I don't think you stated your preference much less made a general comment about how cunnilingus (sp?) was more enjoyable and how women should be if they wanted it. So, no, no boak merited.

Yes, this comment will now appear quite random, but have not been back on it and just noticed OMC's question, which he has quite possibly completely forgotten.

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Fri 21-Jun-13 22:34:58

AnyFucker you do make me giggke

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Fri 21-Jun-13 22:35:26

Giggle even

Darkesteyes Fri 21-Jun-13 23:53:07

Agree with AF Ive never actually shaved or waxed my nethers at all. I will admit that i occasionally get my armpits and legs waxed (when i can afford it. I dont like shaving.

Loving if it is your husband who prefers the "smooth" look why isnt he forking out the 30 quid for you to get it done Why are you paying for it.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 13:38:22

I do it myself - the thought of a stranger waxing me while I have to be in the doggy position on a couch is not something I can personally reconcile myself to! I will have a spray tan in skimpy knickers but that's about as far as I will go.

As for the photo - that does sound strange. If you're going to have sex with someone soon enough why show everything in advance? The men I have known of who did that were creepy and not good dating material at all.

luckypeach Sat 22-Jun-13 15:12:31

Where are all these places that make you get on all fours to have it all off? Bizarre. I lived in SE Asia, it is definitely the done thing to have everything off there. Never heard of anyone assuming doggy position for it. confused

OP - if this guy is just shag material, who cares what he thinks of the state of your pubes. Am sure he'll still want to shag you regardless. If he doesn't, then he's very strange.

FWIW I do think the increase in having it all off in Western countries IS due to increased exposure to porn and what is now perceived to be "the norm" down there. (Also, you've only got to look at increase in figures of those women going for labia surgery, if that's not down to porn I don't know what is.)

For all those saying it doesn't make you look pre-pubescent because you have hips, breasts and so on. Who are you kidding? That may be so if we're taking the whole body into account but this seems to be more about focus specifically on a shaved vulva now and it does make you look that way. I don't think its attractive in an adult woman. It probably makes people feel 'sexier' because of the insidious 'porn' association. Whether we realise it or not, we (men and women) are being manipulated into thinking this is how we should be.

Saying all that its your minge, no-one likes to feel like the odd one out I guess so do what you like with it.

IsThisAGoodIdea Sat 22-Jun-13 15:45:46

I think it looks grim on a grown woman. Especially as you age and after childbirth when no-one's labia are tightly closed anymore. When you look at yourself naked, can't you see your innards?

I remember about 10 yrs ago the first girl I knew who did it. The fashion was just beginning. She did it for her boyfriend - he is now her husband and definitely the kind of man to express an opinion on such things. She once cancelled dinner with me to have it done - he was coming back from a business trip and she couldn't bear for him to see her in her natural state.

I feel most depressed for young girls barely out of puberty who are shaving their vulvas because they think it's dirty to have pubic hair. Do you think they do it to be clean? Or to make sex better? Or because their mothers do it?

Or because teenagers watch porn on their phones and think that look is normal and desirable.

Kione Sat 22-Jun-13 17:14:29

Luckypeach, have you had oral on you with no pubes? it feels so much better.
My pubes are not silky and I love the feel of it shaved. It deffinitelly does not look prepubescent because the skin is completly different!
Just asked DP and he said he prefers it tidy not totally shaved, because it feels nicer. But he has never ever asked me to do it.
My ex did ask before I did it regularly, I am sure because of the porn influence, and we just did it as another erotic game, just fun.

nkf Sat 22-Jun-13 18:31:25

This is the thread that makes me embrace post divorce perma singlehood. The mere idea of having to worry about whether a new man would mind pubic hair. The idea of anyone minding pubic hair. And cock shots!

I don't get it. Here it is. You are going to have oral sex. You are going to have someone's genitalia in your mouth and you mind hair. I can just about understand people who don't like oral sex at all (I think they are missing out) but not liking it but objecting to hair. That I don't get. My mother would have called it eating the cow and choking on the tail.

And it's no good posting how you feel cleaner and you prefer and DH prefers... I've read all that. It's just the reasoning makes no sense to me. Pee comes out of this part of the body. It's centimetres away from the bit where poo comes out. And you mind a hair or two.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 21:00:10

'Where are all these places that make you get on all fours to have it all off? Bizarre. I lived in SE Asia, it is definitely the done thing to have everything off there. Never heard of anyone assuming doggy position for it. confused'

This is what has to happen if you want to get every single hair out, apparently!

'I think it looks grim on a grown woman. Especially as you age and after childbirth when no-one's labia are tightly closed anymore. When you look at yourself naked, can't you see your innards?'

It looks fine on me - mine is still closed after 3 normal deliveries(would not normally say that but to make the point we are not all the same!) But in any case, what does it matter when only you and your dh sees it?

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 21:05:49

'And it's no good posting how you feel cleaner and you prefer and DH prefers... I've read all that. It's just the reasoning makes no sense to me. Pee comes out of this part of the body. It's centimetres away from the bit where poo comes out. And you mind a hair or two.'

See, when threads like this come up it never fails to annoy me that there are posters telling other people how they are allowed to feel. What gives you the right? It's a personal thing. If you like it do it, if you don't, don't. Why the judging? I expect there are other aspects of our private lives that we all feel differently about.

nkf Sat 22-Jun-13 21:13:48

I'm not telling anyone to feel anything. I'm saying I don't understand the feelings.

Anyway, I don't think feelings don't exist in a social vacuum. That's why these threads are interesting. Because clearly, at some point in the last however many years, waxing became mainstream. I refuse to believe that 50 years ago, people always felt that there was something wrong with pubic hair and never quite realised what it was. There has been a shift in people's minds. Some people think that shift was caused by the proliferation of internet porn.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 21:16:08

Not necessarily - my dp who is Italian says women don't tend to wax there in Italy. So is it the case that Italians don't watch porn? I doubt it...

BangOn Sat 22-Jun-13 21:17:31

I'm bi & i really like neat, natural pubes on men & women. even more of a turn-on in women. bald fanjos leave me cold. literally & metaphorically.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 21:18:38

Anyway I don't think there is anything 'wrong' with pubic hair either, I just prefer not to have it. Although I accept that I may not have done it in the first place if it wasn't so fashionable. I genuinely prefer the look and feel without hair though.

nkf Sat 22-Jun-13 21:19:34

You see, even the fact that your dp knows such a fact about Italian women shows how open (?) everything has become. To someone of my age and slightly reserved temperament, that is an extraordinary fact to know.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 21:21:05

Why would it be 'open' to discuss such a thing with your partner?

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 21:21:42

My dp, being Italian himself knows more about the culture in Italy than I do.

nkf Sat 22-Jun-13 21:22:28

Open to know such a thing about Italian women in general. The idea of fashion in public hairs. I know that it makes sense to you. But, to me, these threads are like listening to another language. Different styles of public hair.

nkf Sat 22-Jun-13 21:23:29

Hah. The truth is in the tyu7po. Pubic hair has become public. And I don't know why. I think the porn theory is probably correct.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 21:31:16

Brazilians have been around for much longer than the Hollywood though. People wax their legs and underarms too and have for years. But some don't. I don't think every fashion has to do with porn. Various fashions also come and go, for example eyebrow shape and thickness. I don't see that this is any different and as I said, it's not popular in all countries anyway.

CarpeVinum Sat 22-Jun-13 21:52:02

my dp who is Italian says women don't tend to wax there in Italy. So is it the case that Italians don't watch porn? I doubt it...

Actually, I recently turned a group of (adult) students puce by bringing up the fluffy bits v baldy bits age divide when we went put for a drink and I got gobby on one sniff of the barmaid's apron. The under 25s , maybe up to the under 30s here in Italy appear to be mainly whipping it all off too.

I think they have to. Not long ago their jeans were that blimming low cut that there is a risk of builder's bum at the front. Especially amoung the under 20s.

My age group, not so much. My ever so scientific tipsey survey revealed they lean towards a proper 70s bush with sideburns removal as needed.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 22:00:20

Well, we are early 30s.

CarpeVinum Sat 22-Jun-13 22:01:09

....It's even got the same names too.

Sugarwax in Milano

Ceretta Brasiliana, o Brasilian Wax, è la depilazione professionale con cera a caldo all'inguine.
In Sugarwax potete scegliere tra differenti stili e forme di depilazione intima. (*differnet styles of whipping off of fluffy bits available as choices*)

In particolare per le donne : (*for women*)

Hollywood Bikini: vengono rimossi tutti i peli della zona inguine (*whip it all off*)

Brasilian Bikini: vengono rimossi tutti i peli della zona inguine esclusa una striscia sottile centrale o un piccolo triangolo (*landing strip*)

Bikini Modellato: nello speciale bikini modellato si effettua nella zona inguine una speciale forma (come il cuore, la stella ecc.) (*special shapes, like hearts etc.*)

Per gli uomini (*for men*) si distinguono Perizoma Comune e Perizoma Hollywood a seconda che si effettui la parziale o totale depilazione intima. (*whipping all theirs off too....ick! baldy willy and balls?*)

And there are loads of places offering this, so somebody is having it done.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 22:02:11

What about fake tanning? Is the trend to look orange based on porn as well?

CarpeVinum Sat 22-Jun-13 22:03:02

Well, we are early 30s.

I think there is a real age divide over this.

The youngsters almost got quite cross eyed about the idea of not whippingnit oof. Whereas the less youngsters ranged from "if I feel like it sometimes" to waving placards about "Save The Bush".

I am considering cornrows for mine. With beads and everything.


lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 22:04:55

I think that generally, all beauty services have increased in the last 10 years. I'm a beauty therapist - there are far more people now coming for cutting edge facials and body and waxing treatments and eyebrow threading that you just could not easily and cheaply get say 15 years ago (don't know about London).

CarpeVinum Sat 22-Jun-13 22:18:58

That's sounds about right.

I have just discovered that Milan is the New SanFran for anal bleaching.

Now there is something I never knew.

I think anybody becoming a beautician today has to have no nudey rudey bits hang ups.

Facials I could do happily (if I knew how). Paint somebody's anus with bleach...less glam by far.

Samu2 Sat 22-Jun-13 22:27:56

I am all natural! but to be fair, I lost a lot of it a year after my dd was born and it has never grown back fully. I still have massive bald patches hmm

I can't be arsed to do anything with it any more. My husband think it has character.

I went bald many years ago before I lost it all and it itched like mad and it did just remind me of being young again so it wasn't for me.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 22:30:35

LOL - my dp knew about the anal bleaching in Italy too.

lottieandmia Sat 22-Jun-13 22:30:51

Luckily I've never had to do that!

Samu2 Sat 22-Jun-13 22:38:29

So I am the only one who suddenly lost all their pubes? confused

I blame my thyroid.

cronullansw Sun 23-Jun-13 06:32:08

All the posts I've read here say they ''feel cleaner'' seem to have been mis-interpreted as ''being cleaner / pubes are dirty.''


And get them all off - both genders; no, it doesn't make one look like a kid, yes, it feels better in the mouth, yes it feels way, way, WAY better during penetration.

And I loved the reaction to the SMS cock shot, calling the police indeed, yet op said she is gagging for it, so his message obviously worked.

cronullansw Sun 23-Jun-13 06:36:13

And I see AF has a new friend, hello Badger.

AF and I have crossed words previously. She accused me of being attracted to her too, and I see she called you a wanker also? I'd have thought this would have been classed as personal attack and as such should be removed under MN T&C's.

nellyjelly Sun 23-Jun-13 07:10:32

Why the hell would you bleach your anus? FFS the world is mad.

badgeroncaffeine Sun 23-Jun-13 07:22:37

Hi cronullansw. Yes, me and our AF aren't really "new" friends, we go back quite a while.
You're right that it should be removed under the T&Cs, and probably would be if I'd reported it, but AF's approach is to abuse in the knowledge that by the time MN have removed it, the conversation has moved on.
Best ignored, as I said earlier.

CarpeVinum Sun 23-Jun-13 07:27:14


From the wiki on anal bleaching...confused

Adult actresses and other adult entertainers were the first to undergo the anal bleaching process in an effort to ensure that their skin tone matched all over their bodies. This spread to mainstream film stars in Hollywood once nudity became more prevalent in Hollywood movies. Eventually, anal bleaching became somewhat popular in underground circles.

So ... porn influence basically?

CarpeVinum Sun 23-Jun-13 07:39:02

NWS WARNING Before anybody googles the wiki, be warned it comes with a graphic image

(of a female bum that looks like its goal in life is to be an anontomically correct(ish), breathing version of a Barbie doll)

itwillgetbettersoon Sun 23-Jun-13 09:10:26

It is an age thing. In my late teens and twenties I had a full bush but tidied at the sides. Boyfriends never said a hung they were just grateful to get some action. I met my husband late twenties and the shape of my pubes was never discussed. I'm now separated and being told by friends and this thread that for the first time on my 48 years I need to get rid of my lady garden.

I can see me staying single for ever! I feel sorry for you g people.

CarpeVinum Sun 23-Jun-13 09:31:47

I need to get rid of my lady garden

Well that's me single forever if DH does a 180 and goes fuck wit on me. Or dies.

Anybody who would reject me based just on the unapologetic existance of my fluffy bits rather than thank a god they don't believe in (unless on a plane during turbulance) for their good fortune at meeting a reasonably intelligent, reasonably considerate, reasonably tolerant, reasonably able to value who they are over the various fashionable body modifications they do or do not practice woman...can kiss my unbleached arse.

I placed far too much importance on acceptance of my looks rather than my substance as a teenager. Buggered if I would consider a repeat of that folly at this stage of the game.

Anal bleaching. Turn your Rolo into a Polo.


CarpeVinum Sun 23-Jun-13 09:36:38


nurseneedshelp Sun 23-Jun-13 09:50:18

I had simlar dilemma, was with ex for 18 years and had a trimmed bush.

Wen I met my lovely DP I shaved and it's been bold ever since, can't imagine not shaving now.

Feels dirty to me now and my DP is hair free too!

nkf Sun 23-Jun-13 09:56:05

But how does one know that a man is going to mind or not? It's a bloody minefield. Do you have a discussion about it? I would hate to sleep with a new partner and he said something. Or minded. If I'd knew he would mind, I wouldn't sleep with him. Is this supposed to be something you clear up over dinner?