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Possible cheating partner - how to check an iphone?

(112 Posts)
Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 12:46:47

Hi, I wrote recently about my partner of 19 years (anniversary today actually) telling me he doesn't love me anymore.

This was the outcome of an argument about me thinking he's cheating. I have suspected this for a few months now and around three weeks ago I asked outright to look through his iphone.

Now, he got the iphone in January. I don't know my way around one and wasn't sure what I was looking for. What I DO know is that he's very attached to it (it lives in his pocket), it beeps and rumbles constantly in the evenings/at weekends, it has a pass-code (which I'm fairly certain I know from careful observation).

When he gave me the phone (extremely reluctantly) to look at, I didn't really know what to look for. There was nothing incriminating in the texts (but he would probably delete them as he went along), but is there a messenger service on there? I have a Blackberry so I have BBM on mine. Is there something similar on the iphone that I should be looking for? How do I get onto the internet and check the history of it? How do I check for over-used phone numbers, etc? I can only check it when he's asleep at night so I need to be quick with it.

I'm asking this off the back of the zombie thread that's popped up, that I read with interest - it all made me sit up very straight indeed!

I know people are going to tell me that I should just end it and that I don't need the evidence, etc, but please bear in mind that everyone is different and I DO need the evidence. I need it for my own peace of mind and to make sure that I don't tear us apart completely when there are three children to take into account too.

Any iphone users out there who can help?

badinage Tue 07-May-13 12:50:51

Can you see the bills?

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 12:51:48

No, he's set to paperless. I've tried to access them online but in order to do that they have to send a code to his mobile which he then needs to input on the laptop.

badinage Tue 07-May-13 12:55:08

Ok well as you've already confronted him, just ask him to show you them online. If he doesn't, you'll know he's got something to hide.

normaleggy Tue 07-May-13 12:57:08

I use a messaging app called 'whatsapp' which is quite popular. It's green and has a picture of a phone in a circle. Pretty sure that those messages wouldn't show up on a bill as it's free to use

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:00:32

I've got whatsapp too and I know he has it on his because I saw it. I've said to him time and time again to add me on it because it's free (like when we both used BBM) but he just won't do it! He said he doesn't know how to use it, but when I had a quick look there were conversations there with about 8 people!!!

Yeah I was going to say whatsapp too.

Do you have access to his emails/internet history?

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:01:46

Have just checked the phone company online. Turns out I don't need a code, just the account number, but as he's paperless we don't have the account number. How do they expect you to upgrade in that case?

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:02:59

I don't know how to access the emails/internet on his iphone. Where would I get into them? I have a feeling his internet history would be a very interesting place to look - that's where I was about to check when he lost his temper and demanded his phone back last time.

Check the Phone app--green with receiver icon, will be on the bottom bar. You can look at Recents calls made and received.

Slide your finger from right to left to go between different pages of apps.

If there's not much in the way of texts see if he has as app called WhatsApp (also green) or one called Viber. Both can be used for chats.

As far as internet goes, look for Safari (blue with compass icon). Bottom right hand corner of the page once open has a white box with a number. Touch that and it will open all current or recent web pages for you to scan through quickly. Touch one of them to open it fully.

Hope that makes sense.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:05:29

Thank you Shiny - that's exactly what I need!

Looksgoodingravy Tue 07-May-13 13:14:31

Once phone unlocked if you double click the circle button (front of iphone) it will come up with all the recent Apps he's used.

PatPig Tue 07-May-13 13:17:49

You need something like this, but tbh if you don't know what you are doing technically I would be careful of installing something like this:

www.mobile-spy.com/iphone.html

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:18:16

Thanks Looksgoodingravy

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:19:23

PatPig - have you used that yourself?

Looksgoodingravy Tue 07-May-13 13:22:14

And swipe across once the Apps have come up.

You can also cehck Safari history by going to
Settings - Safari - Advanced - Website Data this will show all history if he's only deleted it from the App itself.

countingto10 Tue 07-May-13 13:28:33

Have you got a friend with an iPhone to show you quickly how it all works. My DH didn't bother with his contract phone when he was having an affair, just got a secret PAYG phone.

But as Looksgood says, double click the button at front of phone and that will show all of recently used programs/apps. Also if you swipe the front screen to the right you will get the search facility to search the iPhone with key words (babe, sex, love etc) and if any messages are still there they will show up.

HTH, good luck and try to think about what you really want.

PatPig Tue 07-May-13 13:31:36

No I haven't I'm afraid.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:31:46

I don't think he'd need to bother with a secret phone when he's so bloody precious about the one he has on show! It has a cover on it so when he's reading/replying to texts I can't see the screen as the cover is tilted up.

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:32:09

Do you have access to the computer he backs his phone up on?

I dont recommend this lightly but I did use it to find out the extent of DHs lying over an affair.

If you do, you can download a programme called Deciphermessage. It searches the most recent backup and gives you all of the texts that were on the phone at the last backup. It also gives you MOST of the deleted ones too (iPhones don't do a true delete).

It costs about £14 but is VERY easy to use and you can just delete it off the PC afterwards. It's only really useful if he backs up to a PC and not iCloud.

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:33:05

It won't show what's app messages. You can buy it online.

Machli Tue 07-May-13 13:33:13

Look for an app called "whatsapp" it's a free messaging service so messages don't show on the bill. When I got hold of exes phone there was nothing in text messages but hundreds in whatsapp.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:34:04

His phone is not even synched to our laptop - his friend set it all up at his house and it's synched to his laptop. I did think of trying that but obviously have no connection to the damn thing. If it was synched to ours then I could also use iCloud to track it but it's not an option.

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:36:28

Also if you have the pass code and can't access the phone when he isn't around try a spotlight search.

Open the phone and swipe right. It will bring up a search bar. You can type in any keyword ie a name, app etc and it will show it in a list. Interestingly it also throws up any messages that word has been used in, even after they have been deleted.

So you could search for "sex" or "meet" and it will throw up any msgs (even deleted).

This was a bug that happened most on 4s but I don't think it's been fixed yet.

PatPig Tue 07-May-13 13:36:28

You've basically got:

facebook messaging (does he use facebook?)
whatsapp - this has no trace other than within whatsapp, and might already have been deleted
SMS - these can be recovered as Pantone says with various pieces of software

If there is something ongoing, then installing spy software is your best bet as it will record any evidence.

Also if he uses a PC you can install software on there that will record everything. www.softactivity.com/spy-software.asp

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:37:00

Www.icloud.com if you have his password!

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:37:56

His apple password, not his passcode.

You can track him and see all contacts on iCloud.com

Looksgoodingravy Tue 07-May-13 13:38:35

Counting, that's how I found more messages on DP iphone (this is before I had an iphone myself) he had deleted them but for some reason about 4 snippets of the conversation were still showing up on the search function. I found 'ok Sexy xxxx' and a couple of others, opened a whole can of worms. When I do this on my new iphone though it doesn't show any deleted messages, this is why I didn't suggest it to Heartbroken, might be worth a check though.

badinage Tue 07-May-13 13:38:54

Once the trust has gone I've got no problem with snooping per se, but I do think if it's over a prolonged period it damages the snooper and this sounds like it's been going on for a while. I'm sure you've got better things to do.

So why don't you ask him to show you his bills and give you free access to his passwords and phone?

Won't that bring this all to a head quicker?

If he's cheating, he won't be open with you and so surely that, in addition to the lack of trust, is all you need?

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:38:57

He loathes Facebook and doesn't use it. And he doesn't use our laptop anymore because he only uses the internet on his iphone. So essentially I have to check his phone because that's where EVERYTHING is!

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:40:59

Also (and this may be illegal so it's up to you).

If you can get another iPhone to borrow. You can restore it and it will give you the option of setting up as a new iPhone. You can then enter his details: apple name/password and restore from the last iCloud backup. You've then got a replica of his last backup in your hands hmm

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:42:15

Basically iPhone security is shit grin

PatPig Tue 07-May-13 13:43:01

I think you have to be realistic that messages may be deleted regularly.

I would install that monitoring software, but this will require a considerable period with the phone because the phone needs to be jailbroken first.

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:44:38

Unless you are confident with what you are doing DO NOT jailbreak his phone.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:44:39

I don't know his apple password or I'd be onto icloud like a shot! Installing software is probably out too, as I'm likely to have a quick look through the phone when he's asleep, rather than extended periods with it to install software.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:45:01

Don't even know what jailbreak means?!?

PatPig Tue 07-May-13 13:48:40

jailbreak allows you to install any software on an ipad/iphone.

It's pretty much automated but you do need a computer, iphone cable and some reasonable computer skills (not advanced).

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:51:18

Don't bother with the jailbreak.

In a short period I'd look at what's app in case he has forgotten to delete anything. However when you open what's app, all of your whats app contacts can tell when you last used it (ie Pantone was last online at 12.33pm) might be good in that you may get to see a msg if someone sees he is online, but also dodgy if someone says why were you online last night when he knows he was asleep! It can be turned off but most people have it on.

Spotlight search as above.

SMS (green box with white speech bubble)

Safari (open google and type from A-Z) it will bring up al recent searches starting with each letter)

Contacts, anyone you don't recognise?

Recent calls/duration.

Pics

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:51:33

Oh, ok, I would totally be able to do that then. Computers are my thing, I'm just not familiar with where things ARE on the iphone so wanted a quick 'this is where the evidence would be' checklist.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:53:07

Yes, that was the other thing I wanted to know how to find - pics and videos - where would they be on the iphone? He has about three thousand apps so I don't want to be scrolling all over.

I'm just very used to my Blackberry.

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:53:49

If you do do the jailbreak be careful. My iPhone is JB and I have a cydia icon to access!

Pantone363 Tue 07-May-13 13:54:27

All under photos, usually front page (pic of a flower)

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 13:55:18

What's a cydia icon???

CajaDeLaMemoria Tue 07-May-13 13:59:28

If you jailbreak his phone, you'll void his warranty. It's also very obvious that it's been jailbroken. He'd know, if he knows what he's doing with his iPhone.

I'd be careful with the search too, because it can be set up to show previous searches.

Installing things onto his phone may work, but equally, it'll show as an active app and therefore he's likely to notice it.

Whatsapp and FB messaging show the last time you logged in.

He'll already be suspicious, because you demanded to look at it before, so be really careful. He's probably already onto you.

Pictures are under the flower icon.

Looksgoodingravy Tue 07-May-13 14:07:47

Yes once you've searched, double click the front circle button again, press and hold the first App and all the Apps will show a red circle, delete the Apps you've searched.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 14:10:43

What will that do Looksgood?

Looksgoodingravy Tue 07-May-13 14:22:22

Make a note of the Apps which already appear when you first do the 'double click and search App search'. Every time you search an App it will appear on this search so you need to delete the Apps you've searched.

zippey Tue 07-May-13 16:21:32

I am of the opinion that its not a good idea to go snooping around among the property of your loved oneS, wether its reading your childrens diary or your texts on your husbands phone.

If you dont trust him, try and work on this instead rather than be all secretive. Snooping around will only show you up in a bad light.

Or phone Jeremy Kyle and get him to do a lie detector. (your hubby not JK)

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 16:35:49

Thanks for your really unhelpful and judgmental post Zippey. I don't recall asking for your opinion, so kindly keep them to yourself.

edwinamerckx Tue 07-May-13 16:44:05

Just be aware that if you access his phone (or computer) without his explicit permission you are potentially committing a serious criminal offence. And unlawfully obtained evidence cannot be used in family court proceedings, should it come to that.

BerylStreep Tue 07-May-13 17:15:20

Good luck. I would be inclined to leave the house with the phone, so he can't interrupt you looking at it.

IslandMoose Tue 07-May-13 17:46:26

Edwin is correct. Installing software on to somebody else's device without their permission or jailbreaking somebody else's iphone without their permission is a criminal offence. Adultery, on the other hand, isn't - so there is no obvious reason why he wouldn't refer such actions to the police.

I would strongly advise against either course of action.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 22:47:40

Ok, all illegal stuff aside, I found the account number for his phone and checked the itemised statements. The same number comes up over and over, going back at least a year. Texting two or three times early am (before he goes to work or on his way there), texting and calling (very short calls) throughout the day, texting in the evening (when he's with me and the kids ffs) and then (the best bit) texting and more short calls after he's gone to bed because 'he's knackered', sometimes up to an hour and a half after going up.

If I want to ring the number and see who answers, does 141 work on mobiles or will my number come up at the other end? I mean, even if I do ring and a woman answers (which my heart tells me WILL happen) she could just say she's answering her partners phone.

What a fucking mess...

BerylStreep Tue 07-May-13 22:55:39

Oh, Heartbroken, I am sorry that your fears were confirmed.

Sit tight on the info for the moment, until you have had time to think.

What do you want to do long term?

skaboy Tue 07-May-13 22:59:43

I don't have the technical advice you need, but I do empathise with your need to see the evidence although it might upset you even more for a time. I've been going through the same thing with my wife (soon to be ex-wife hopefully) and I think I only wanted to check her phone to confirm that I wasn't losing my mind by not believing her. It was a relief to know I wasn't going crazy.

I was only able to do this when she water-damaged her i-phone and got a replacement emergency crappy old Nokia which I could work! So the answer is - chuck it in the toilet

Damn technology and its amenability to lying cheats!

hf128219 Tue 07-May-13 23:10:04

Yes 141 works on a mobile.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 23:13:21

The fucker has gone up to bed 'knackered' again this evening, but the lamp was still on forty minutes later so I'm guessing he's texting or making his very short calls.

I don't know what I want long-term. At the moment, my heart is saying I want him to choose me and try to get through this. It's weird cos I always thought cheating would be a deal breaker for me. Maybe it will be if I actually see any evidence. It's not looking good though is it?

What really hurts is seeing this number come up first thing and last thing. First person he wants to speak to when he wakes up and last one before he goes to sleep - unless he's ringing wanklines. I know he's done that in the past, but I'm assuming they're not generic mobile numbers and would come in expensive on his phone bill. Having said that, some of his bills have been £160 - how the fuck do you run up a bill that big???

Shit, this is all so shit.

olgaga Tue 07-May-13 23:14:05

You might be better off with this rather than ringing the number. There's no guarantee you're going to find out who it is - but you will tip them off.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 23:14:41

So if I press 141 then dial the number they won't get my number? Not that it matters, but I'm paranoid that a) he may have given them my number not to answer and b) what if it's someone he works with? I'll probably just hang up anyway.

olgaga Tue 07-May-13 23:17:51

Also, if you are both on FB you can search for their number on there.

olgaga Tue 07-May-13 23:19:24

Also you can search your own contacts list on your phone/email/his email for the number.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 23:19:48

Thanks Olgaga but he's not on Facebook so that would be no good. I'm also very iffy about the other link you added, as it doesn't tell you what the costs are for using the service, but thanks anyway.

hf128219 Tue 07-May-13 23:22:30

Have you googled the number ?

olgaga Tue 07-May-13 23:22:37

Yes it's very difficult to do - impossible unless you use one of these services. Have you tried just Googling the number? Would it be worth creating an account on FB just to do the search?

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 23:26:43

Nothing through Google. I have a Facebook account, but it's pointless searching on there because it won't be someone I know.

Virgil Tue 07-May-13 23:32:45

I'd be inclined to ring the number using his phone and see if she picks up or send a text. Lock yourself in the bathroom when you do it.

Sorry this is happening to you.

onefewernow Tue 07-May-13 23:35:07

I would have a think first. The trouble with the shell shock is that you don't know what you want. And the adrenaline kicks in.

Many people's immediate instinct is to want to hang on to what they have, but that is just a reflex. Talk to someone in RL maybe, and take if slowly.

After the fear and the shock comes the anger.

I'm really sorry.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 23:36:27

That's the thing though, Virgil, he keeps his phone with him at all times. Where he goes, the phone goes, plus it's passcoded. I'm fairly confident of the passcode, but I'm worried what will happen if I input the wrong one.

Actually, does anyone know what happens to an iphone if you try to access it with the incorrect passcode (4 digit code)? Does it let the person who logs in correctly know that there was an attempt to unlock it?

Looksgoodingravy Tue 07-May-13 23:37:33

I'm afraid that the only way of finding out for sure (other than confronting him outright) is through his phone.

So sorry you are going through this. I've been where you are now and totally understand your need to know.

Hope you get some answers to all of this.

olgaga Tue 07-May-13 23:37:35

Yes in that case I'd ring the number from his phone too, if you can get hold of it! But I'd be rather surprised if there is no trace of the number anywhere else through email contacts or something like that.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 23:38:09

Onefewernow - there isn't anyone in RL I can talk to. My parents live 4 hours away and they're already worrying about me with the whole 'he doesn't love me anymore thing', this would kill them, especially my Dad. And my sister burst into tears when I told her about the love thing, so I can't talk to her either. No close friends.

Heartbrokenmum73 Tue 07-May-13 23:39:21

Olgaga he's almost a complete technophobe. No Facebook, barely knows how to use email (uses mine mostly). He does have an email account on his iphone but I don't think he uses it.

Hegsy Tue 07-May-13 23:40:00

If you put the code in wrong once or twice it won't be an issue. To withhold your number 141 won't work you need to select 'hide number' in call settings

olgaga Tue 07-May-13 23:40:37

Don't do anything yet. What about looking for information elsewhere for now? Financial/credit card info, diaries, receipts, the car glove box, that kind of thing.

Piemother Tue 07-May-13 23:45:40

I know a serial philanderer. I'm fairly sure he uses whatsapp but installs it and uninstalls it to use/hide. Also I think you can set it to do not disturb so the messages don't come through hmm

Heartbrokenmum73 Wed 08-May-13 00:05:23

Well, I've just checked his bank account. He asked me to send him some money across today - and sent £20 of it straight to someone else!!! Her fucking name is even there! He sent her £10 a couple of weeks back too.

And on his older bank statements her name comes up again and again, but paying money IN. Wtf?

CoffeeShoppe Wed 08-May-13 00:07:07

oh dear, it doesn;t look good, sorry sad

Piemother Wed 08-May-13 00:09:18

I think you are entitled to confront him. So sorry you are going through this hmm

Pantone363 Wed 08-May-13 00:39:46

So sorry to hear all this.

141 will work from a landline. On your mobile find call settings and hide/withhold number. Just call and see if a woman answers. The good thing is that a lot of people don't answer a withheld number so hopefully it'll go to voicemail and you can get a name.

Pantone363 Wed 08-May-13 00:41:19

You can input a passcode wrong 10 times on a iPhone before it locks it. It will only lock for 1 min after that. If you put it in wrong again it'll lock for 5 mins. Then 60 the next time.

Pantone363 Wed 08-May-13 00:41:45

He won't know you've tried to unlock it

Cravey Wed 08-May-13 01:15:13

I'm afraid I would be getting him out of bed and confronting him then calling the number. So sorry for you.

Mimishimi Wed 08-May-13 03:00:00

Could you not just wake him up, tell him that you suspect him of cheating and that you want to check through his phone immediately? If he won't give it to you or tries to shuffle off with it to the bathroom first, you will treat it as though your suspicions are confirmed and the relationship will have to end?

LittleMissLucy Wed 08-May-13 05:58:36

I think the phone and the technology is all a total waste of your time and you need to have a face to face. Sorry, don't mean to sound harsh but its just detritus - you need to get past it, and to the point. (And I am sorry this is happening to you, been there, done it, burned the t shirt).

Tortoiseontheeggshell Wed 08-May-13 06:11:23

I think at the point where there's unexplained money going in and out you need to ask. I presume he knows that you have access to his bank accounts, but it doesn't matter if he doesn't; at this point, you know all you're going to know without confronting him. So you need to do so.

Have you googled her name in " marks?
Can you search for her on Facebook?

hf128219 Wed 08-May-13 07:01:46

Have you checked 192.com, linkedIn etc ?

Oh this is awful..
You now have evidence to ask him about. I am sure his reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
What a wanker he is.

Is the name at all familiar?

BenjaminButton172 Wed 08-May-13 07:24:33

Google her name and number & see what you get.

olgaga Wed 08-May-13 07:31:44

Oh dear, so sorry to hear this. They are very small amounts to be sending back and forward though!

However, now that you know her name as well as her number you should be able to find out who she is, where she works etc - not that any of that will help you.

Hope your discussion with him is constructive - you might want to start doing some reading and planning.

sarahjaye Wed 08-May-13 08:29:40

What strange small amounts... £10, £20 especially to transfer online. He's not gambling/ paying for some online game or service, is he?

MortifiedAdams Wed 08-May-13 08:41:33

Could it be a secret daughter?

olgaga Wed 08-May-13 08:45:10

Mortified I wondered that - but such odd, small amounts?

A phone sex line?

Pantone363 Wed 08-May-13 08:52:49

More likely that he is lending her small amounts of cash and she is paying it back.

It's very brazen though!

olgaga Wed 08-May-13 08:55:14

Why on earth would they be transferring such small amounts through bank accounts rather than cash though?

Mysterious.

Locketjuice Wed 08-May-13 09:02:27

Sorry your in such a shit situation ophmm

CajaDeLaMemoria Wed 08-May-13 09:30:18

There's some potentially dodgy advice here.

My iPhone is set so that I'm emailed to two email addresses when the passcode is entered incorrectly. I'm aware that makes me sound very paranoid, but it's to do with health information rather than anything else, and my DP knows the passcode anyway. Regardless, it is possible that he'll find out if you touch it.

I'd wake him up and tell him that you know. And then I'd be silent, and watch him flounder for excuses, and hopefully he'd fill in the gaps with excuses, and you'll find out a lot more. Most people can't bare silence.

I'm baffled that he was stupid enough to ask you to log in to internet banking when he'd been paying her, though, unless he wanted you to find out? Could he be goading you on?

Pantone363 Wed 08-May-13 10:07:16

Maybe not cash if he doesn't/can't see her often?

Anyway all this speculation probably isn't helping the OP, have you made any decisions about the next step?

chrome100 Wed 08-May-13 11:37:16

If you don't know the passcode you could call his phone from another phone and then swipe to answer it, as you wouldn't need to put the code in then. I'm not sure what happens when you hang up, but I'm pretty sure that you will then be "on" his handset and can access anything.

BenjaminButton172 Wed 08-May-13 13:10:21

Chrome that doesnt work. The phone just locks.

If he is sending money through the bank rather than cash it could possibly b that they dont meet very often.

I think it could b a child rather than a lover.

olgaga Wed 08-May-13 13:22:15

If he's a technophobe anyway it'll probably be more fruitful to look for the paper trail.

BerylStreep Wed 08-May-13 14:22:36

Well now that you have a name, you can search Facebook, perhaps get someone to call his work and ask for her by name? Look carefully at the phone and bank statements until you can identify when it started.

But I think you need to sit tight on the information until you have a chance to do a bit more research. He doesn't know that you know, so spend this time wisely - print off the bank statements and phone statements. Get copies of all financial documents in order, including his pay details. Find out as much as you can about who this person is.

Or say casually, 'oh someone called XXX phoned earlier' and watch him shit himself.

MadAboutHotChoc Wed 08-May-13 15:40:29

Very odd re the small amounts of money but he could be paying someone for their sexual services (e.g webcam?). The huge mobile bills has made me wonder if he is using escorts/webcam girls?

Also the I dont love you line is part of the cheater's script - this means that they have checked out of the relationship.

MadAboutHotChoc Wed 08-May-13 15:42:24

Check his internet history to see if he is using escorts/webcam sex sites e.g. a d u l t w o r k s

My mate is always lending me a tenner here or there. He lives a 40 minute drive away so we always transfer loans and pay backs.

Just because its small doesn't make it seedy, ffs. I mean terms of a webcam/paying for stuff etc, obv its still bad looking.

Jeezaloo Thu 09-May-13 04:56:32

Hi OP
How are you doing this morning. Have you made any decisions, or confronted DH on any of this?

Distrustinggirlnow Thu 09-May-13 07:24:29

Morning OP, just caught up with your thread. How r u today...?

I've got an iPhone so if I can help u let me know.

I've been in a similar situation to u so I feel your pain. The OW in my case would transfer small amounts of money into his account. It was to pay for the hotel room, premier inn, v classy! Apparently she wanted to pay half but couldn't afford it in one go more likely her DH would have noticed larger amounts

I remember on here once someone said text the number From Your phone saying something like, 'morning sexy, my phones broken/wouldn't charge/dropped in toilet, so use this number today'

On the iPhone there will be an app like an envelope with a circle in top right corner with a number in. This is his emails and the number is the amount of new since last read.

Need to go to work but hope you're alright

Locketjuice Thu 09-May-13 11:46:14

How are you today? Did you confront him?

hacksforcash2014 Wed 27-Aug-14 02:44:40

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sugary Wed 27-Aug-14 06:47:05

Hacksforcash? That's scary! sad(

Sickoffrozen Wed 27-Aug-14 08:22:42

It amazes me that people who are having affairs do not have their phones on silent, delete all their messages and find ways to avoid being caught!

A friend of mine hubby was caught out because they had a shared bill! Are some people really that stupid?

Zombie thread bumped by spammers

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