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Insulting online dating emails.

(43 Posts)
fluffitmore Sat 27-Apr-13 09:00:44

Not the ones that are sexual, or the ones that are just rude, but the ones that are sexist, entitled and insulting. Over the last 24 hours I have had:

- what meal do you cook when you are wooing a man.
Fucks sake, theres a assumption im going to cook like a 1950's housewife to get you to like me, NO.

- what are you planning to do this weekend, shopping?
No you dick, please dont sterotype and besides im not 20, spending all day giggling over shoes is not my idea of fun.

- Im not sure of my plans yet but if i am free ill email you and you can meet me.
Right, ill just sit in on the off chance that happens then shall i?

The more i date the more morons i end up encountering.
Please share your awful messages to make me feel better.

StuffezLaYoni Sat 27-Apr-13 09:04:53

I had one recently who openly advertised the fact he was married (but don't judge him!)
I was remarkably restrained but he kept ON and ON. I just kept thinking about some poor woman having no clue this was going on. He wasn't sexual or rude in any way - just seemed genuinely puzzled as to why I wasn't willing to "take the plunge and begin an amazing adventure" with him.

He was Jim from Market Harborough, by the way.

fluffitmore Sat 27-Apr-13 09:08:30

Oh i had one like that, i explained that i wasnt wanting to meet him and he tried to convince me by telling me his wife wouldnt know and he would say he was away with work, like that was going to make me change my mind.

ohtobecleo Sat 27-Apr-13 09:12:22

I'm curious, what site are you using OP?

fluffitmore Sat 27-Apr-13 09:15:12

A mixture of match, plenty of fish and okcupid. The first two messages came from match, from men in their late 30's

Ive been dating awhile and i know its par of the course, but it does make me wonder quite what these men think of women and what sort of woman they are looking for. I dont expect the reality will ever match what they want which is probably why so many people find online dating to be unsucessful.

ohtobecleo Sat 27-Apr-13 09:18:15

That explains it. I've been OD on and off for years and I've found Match the worst (haven't even bothered with PoF). The best (and the one I keep returning to) for all-round generally decent men is Guardian Soulmates. I've never experienced any of what you describe on there.

fluffitmore Sat 27-Apr-13 09:20:11

But if you are not in a city or close to one its next to useless. Match isnt even all that great in my area, very few men on it.

Concentrateonthegood Sat 27-Apr-13 09:21:46

I don't do online dating any longer but when I was, I got contacted by a bloke that told me he was bi sexual. He told me he couldn't find a bloke he liked the look of so contacted me instead :-0 smilesmile

TerracottaPie Sat 27-Apr-13 09:23:51

I remember a friend telling me about a reply she once received on a dating site that left me a bit shock.

It was along the lines of the bloke deciding from her picture that she looked a size 16 and then kindly informing her he only went for women that were size 10.

Fairylea Sat 27-Apr-13 09:24:53

Don't give up on pof. I met my dh on there! There's just loads more people, so the probability is that there are also loads more twats. Just use the block button frequently and keep blocking everyone who sounds remotely odd.!

akaWisey Sat 27-Apr-13 09:30:33

I had one which seemed to start ok, if a bit presumptuous - "Lovely dress the your pic, gorgeous garden, can I bring Strawberries and Champagne to share with you?"
when I said we could share them on the beach as I sold the house with the lovely garden he said -

"Oh, I've got a room you can have for nothing in return for skivvying for me. "

ItsYoniYappy Sat 27-Apr-13 09:55:12

I'm not going into mine but here a 3 fairly sane but annoying ones:

One guy told me he was married (after chatting for a week) he didn't want to cheat but many girl 'friends' who he liked to take out, he didn't love his wife but loved his DDs hmm -blocked

One recently sent a message saying: If i were a PC I could crash at your place..confused

Another one: Why are you single? Then when I say I have been for almost 3 years. Are you afraid of commitment? (no I just haven't met anyone I like) then he called me a bitch for not getting onto Skype until 9pm the following night, I had told him 8pm, he had waited an hour an was over angry about it

Oh and another one, can we just skip the date and go get married.

Oh and a female contacted me once. I didn't know it was for lesbians too.

fluffitmore Sat 27-Apr-13 09:59:20

I had one where he said he didnt like my name and asked if he could call me something else.

GoingUpInTheWorld Sat 27-Apr-13 10:13:46

Op thats a corker that one!!!

Calling you something else hahaha

LittlePeaPod Sat 27-Apr-13 10:16:27

When I was online dating I once had a message from a guy asking if I was up for a threesome with his wife! hmm declined it... I also went on a number of dates with some real weirdos and had a cople that text me pictures of their bits (had my number as considered a second date but not after the picture)... Nightmare! But I look back on it now and see the funny side of it.

On a positive note I met OH on a dating site four years ago, we are engaged due to marry this year and ttc (1mc sad ). I am now so glad I didn't just give up and not bother... Good luck and I will keep my eye on this thread to hear others thoughts/stories.

Yika Sat 27-Apr-13 11:39:38

Somebody just contacted me to tell me mine was the stupidest profile he had ever seen!
Obviously not with the intention of wooing me, but really - why bother going to the trouble of contacting a total stranger for the sole purpose of insulting them? confused

makemineamalibuandpineapple Sat 27-Apr-13 11:53:43

One guy had on his profile that he would go for dinner "but don't expect him to foot the entire bill". Now i have no problem with splitting and always offer but it was such an odd thing to put as an opener confused

mrfrancis82 Sat 27-Apr-13 12:40:47

I'm on OKCupid and I don't leave sexist messages to people. What's your id?

ALittleStranger Sat 27-Apr-13 15:15:53

I've never had a sexist or insulting message.

But then I've never had a cock shot either so I'm starting to think I forgot to set my profile live.

I don't think the 'what are you doing, shopping?' email was particularly insulting, just someone trying to make conversation. The rest are pretty rubbish though.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy Sat 27-Apr-13 16:57:36

I had one this morning..

WOW, I thought Dolls like you were only in my dreams, how did you escape? hmm Do you remember we are due to get married tomorrow and I've already bought you a wedding gift; a ball and chain so you don't wander too far from the kitchen. shock

I can't remember the rest of the email, and have naturally deleted it.

WTAF do these idiots think they are doing?

Mosman Sat 27-Apr-13 17:26:43

I've had some lovely guys contact me from okcupid I feel a bit greedy keeping them all to myself.
Match has been a whole different story though

ItsYoniYappy Sat 27-Apr-13 18:16:13

YoniYappy

Online dating isn't for lesbians?

[sigh] I think you know the answer but will be nice.

I did not realise the site I was on was for lesbians. Many apologies for not typing everything exactly so that no-one could nit pick at it. smile

DionFortune Sat 27-Apr-13 18:18:30

I was on POF and had just started chatting to DH (to be) when I got the message;

"I've not read your profile, do ya fancy slammin?"

shock

LittlePeaPod Sat 27-Apr-13 18:28:28

I've not read your profile, do ya fancy slammin.

Ha ha ha ha Brilliant....... grin

OiVaVoi Sat 27-Apr-13 18:32:26

Stuffez: I too have been on the receiving end of Jim from Market Harborough!

StuffezLaYoni Sat 27-Apr-13 21:29:06

What?? I feel debased! I no longer feel special!

toothgenie Sat 27-Apr-13 22:35:27

I've been contacted this evening by a guy from Market Harborough who admitted in his message that he's married! I don't know his name because I've blocked him, but 'Forsaking all others' obviously doesn't apply to him.

StuffezLaYoni Sat 27-Apr-13 22:59:28

It'll be Jim! On please tell him RedWineDrinker says hi....

issey6cats Sun 28-Apr-13 01:09:52

the funniest insult i had was on POF i have shoulder length hair in a bob and the message i got was "your having me on your a bloke aint you" all i can think is that a lot of cross dressers wear wigs that look like my hairdo and no i aint a bloke all woman me lol

Stinkypoos Sun 28-Apr-13 01:30:39

My stalker (over 5 years now) discovered me via internet dating.

The worst thing is I thought he seemed the most normal of all the people who got in touch with me.

I think there is a code with keywords you use if you are into weird/alternative stuff. I think you need to be careful on your profile with the words you use.

I heard the Guardian site was ok so directed my sister that way.

We thought scat was a type of music!
I've heard success stories but I would be very cautious if I tried it again.

LittlePeaPod Sun 28-Apr-13 06:34:33

So I was speaking to DF about this thread as some may know from earlier post we met on an online dating site. He was on dating sites longer than me (4 years on/off) before we met. He said he got his fair share of interesting dates. He once went on a date and when he got there he discovered "said lady" had used her daughters picture as a profile shot. He didn't recognise her until she approached him in the bar. hmm

He also went on another date and the "said lady" burst into tears halfway hrough the meal about her ex and that she still loved him. DF is such a nice guy. He felt really bad for her and he sat listened (for about 3 hours apparently) gave male prospective advise, paid for the meal/drinks, made sure she got a taxi safely before taking himself off.

And last but not least apparently he used to get lost of emails from call girls that used the sites to find custom. He said for every 3 normal emails 1 was from a call girl. I never even thought about that till now! But he too says his glad he stayed on because he met some lovely ladies/had some lovely dates and we are together.

Stinky really sorry to hear about your stalker experience.

Hissy Sun 28-Apr-13 08:52:49

I had a message from a guy through OK cupid.

Told me he was married, but up for late night conversation and communication.

I deleted the tosser, but was so tempted to send him a link to Relationships to pass on to his wife and request her email address, cos I bet I had more in common with her than I'd have had with a sad pathetic tosser like him.

Deleted my account right there and then.

Flipper924 Sun 28-Apr-13 09:08:46

Mr Market Harborough is doing the rounds this weekend! He's messaged me twice (didn't like the fact that I ignored the first message). Think I might have to explain why I don't want him anywhere near my profile!

Victoria2002 Sun 28-Apr-13 09:12:16

A friend of mine (after trying match and plenty of fish) is on 'forget dinner' it is outrageous and has been the source of many nights with the girls laughing and drinking wine setting up fake profiles and reading messages out loud to each other-I totally recommend it!

WeAreEternal Sun 28-Apr-13 09:33:27

A good friend of mine does a lot of online dating.

Some of the best stories she has told me;

A man who messaged her, but then refused to chat until she sent him more picture that 'proved' she was the one in the pictures on her profile. He wanted at least one picture to include some kind of note held up to show that it was really her.

Another man who seemed normal at first, but if she didn't reply straight away to his messages he would spam her inbox with 'helllooo are you there???' 'Why aren't you replying' 'helllllooooo' 'are you there??????' 'Are you ignoring me???' 'Why haven't you replied yet??' Are you ignorant or something??' 'Heeeeelllllllllooooooo'
After she told him she wasn't interested he sent her 45 of these type of messages before sending her something obnoxious.

There was also a man who insisted he loved her and wanted to be her boyfriend after only a few messages, he stalked her online for ages. It was creepy.

Mosman Sun 28-Apr-13 10:26:00

Hissy - his handle wasn't Getusmiling was it ? That sounds exactly like my Stbex

StuffezLaYoni Sun 28-Apr-13 10:34:55

I'm properly amused by Mr Market Harborough and all the people here so have been contacted by him! What a knob.

Loulybelle Sun 28-Apr-13 11:05:08

Yoni, dont it make ya wanna spam Mr Market Harborough, wonder how he feels about gay men.

Hissy Sun 28-Apr-13 13:10:17

I don't think so, he was in the UK. Sad to think there is more than one of these 'blokes' isn't it.

have a <sqidge> anyway Mosman, you need it! smile

Stinkypoos Mon 29-Apr-13 01:20:18

Little Pea Pod

Don't worry, I'm fine now about my stalker. At first it freaked me out but after 5 years you get accustomed to it.

For nearly 6 years now I've not replied but I still get these emails from him every now and then, he'll send a load and then they stop. I feel sad for him. He is obviously very lonely and I think needs help. I imagine him being a very possessive boyfriend and likely to react very badly to a break up.

It scares me that of all the men that contacted me, he was the one i thought seemed normal.

Stinkypoos: you can report him to the police or at least to the relevant dating site.

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