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I need to get laid

(316 Posts)
fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 14:37:46

That's it really.

I separated six months ago (after several sexless years). I was a faithful wife.

I don't want another relationship, I don't want to shag anyone else's man (either deliberately or inadvertently), I don't want to end up with genital herpes of anything similar.

I want a NS relationship that's mostly about sex (God I sound desperate grin).

I'm fussy about men, don't like bald or shaved heads, beards, paunches or poor hygiene.

I'm 42 and reasonably attractive.

How do I make this happen? Most men are gagging for it, aren't they? It can't be that difficult but I don't know where to start...

Has anyone been in this situation or can give me any advice?

This is what I need as well so I'll be watching the replies!
I totally understand.
I don't want a relationship and was almost there with a guy I know but he backed out last minute.
Hoping it will be re-arranged but not holding my breath.
We just need a good reliable f*ck buddy! Can't be too much to ask, surely!?

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 14:53:16

Oh no!!! When I saw someone had posted I thought I'd get all the answers but it's just another woman's who's gagging for it grin

No, seriously, thanks for the solidarity. I thought my thread title looked bad but I'm not alone at least.

Even if most men are "gagging for it" (which I don't think is necessarily true, actually), if you want someone around your age, ie, 42, then quite a lot of them will be bald or shaven headed, have a beard or stubble, and/or a paunch. You might be OK on the hygiene front.

Isn't the answer usually to use a site like Plentyoffish and look for guys wanting "intimate encounters"?

chocolatespiders Fri 26-Apr-13 15:00:39

No you are not gagging for it. I feel the same I would love someone to have this with just every other weekend when dd is at her dads. Not interested in a relationship> been there done that and cant be bothered again.

OhLori Fri 26-Apr-13 15:10:56

Well, are most men are "gagging" for it? Even if they were and so forth, they are hardly Torres (once handsome Spanish footballer). Not only that, but even if they look the biz they may be serious weirdos, or worse.

Not that I can't totally understand your desire to be engaged sexually, and also possibly re-assert your own sexual attractiveness, but be careful ...

Mmmmnn..... Torres! Now he would do nicely!
Maybe a bit young for me but I can do cougar quite easily.

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 15:27:22

I quite fancy that Portuguese guy who manages Spurs...

chocolatespiders Fri 26-Apr-13 15:40:13

I love Spurs- I will take any of the player>>>> need to be more fussy

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 15:55:00

ha you and me both

its been a while now since my stbxw had an affair with her boss and starting to feel ready to meet someone nice

Pinkyorkbunny Fri 26-Apr-13 16:07:52

I'm sure my 40 year old brother-in-law would oblige wink

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 16:23:00

I aint had any in 4 years, only ever had one sexual partner, im nearly ready to find some nice young man to ruin me, FYI im only 30, its almost tragic.

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 16:26:14

Louly your only 30 its not tragic at all. Im 31 in a couple of months and its strange being single again.

There is a dating thread on here thats great help, i admit as a man i was a little wary asking advice on there but they have been amazing and i feel much more confident and ready than i did a few weeks ago.

AnyFucker Fri 26-Apr-13 16:27:56

Erm.... I see a potential match up here smile

Pinkyorkbunny Fri 26-Apr-13 16:30:03

Louly meet Spence, Spence meet Louly...I'll go dust of my wedding hat grin

Pinkyorkbunny Fri 26-Apr-13 16:31:08

That was meant to say off goddammit

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 16:34:16

<sniggers>

Pink, you can borrow mine, i've suffered 2 weddings of my siblings in 2 years.

<off to buy more So Co with Bold Black Cherry, failing that, Jack Daniels and coke>

Louis Spence!!!grin

CuChullain Fri 26-Apr-13 16:35:32

OK, will probably get flamed on here by the moral guardians but here is my $0.02

Many moons ago I was several months out of a particularly unpleasant break up and although I was on the mend and largely back to my old self I was still not in the mood or indeed ready to get involved emotionally in a relationship, but I was horny as hell. Having had a fairly lively sex life before I was climbing the walls having not had any 'action' in over half a year. I did not want to join a dating site as to me that meant the possibllity of leading women astray and people getting hurt when they find out you want a slightly more casual encounter. Most of the mainstream sites have a 'just friends/companionship' options for your profile but that still seemed a bit opaque and vague for my liking. So I took the plunge and joined a sex contacts site

I was not really expecting much luck as it seemed to be about 90% men so the odds were not in my favour! But I pressed on and started to email some interesting local women and to my pleasent surprise got some replies. After exchanging several emails with one women and chatting on msn we got to know each other a little and indeed generate a bit of trust. Yes, the profiles can be quite explicit in terms of the more 'niche' activities as you have the option to list your 'interests' (anal, dressing up, dogging, oral, S&M etc etc) but at least you are being honest with each other. We agreed to meet and it was just like a normal date, we met at a wine bar, she was a professional, smart, very funny and sexy women who was in a similar situation to me. We ended up becoming 'friends with benefits' for the next 18 months. We only saw each other maybe once or twice a month, and it was not just clinical sex, we would go out for dinner, watch a film, go to the theatre, generally have a laugh and before having mind blowing sex later that night. Its not for everyone, but for the pair of us, right there and right then it was just what we needed. We were very honest with each other with regards to our feelings and nobody got hurt as we both knew that although we got on very well there was not quite the 'romantic' chemistry that would have made a long term relationship unlikely. We knew it would not be for ever and sure enough she ended up meeting a guy who she really did want to get romantically involved with so we parted company. By that time I was actually ready to get back on the wagon and ended up joining match.com. It is possible.

There are lots of timewasters on these sites and lots of married/attached people although they are easy to spot after a while. If you have the patience there are some normal fun people to meet and have fun with and you get to 'scratch that itch' without anyone getting hurt

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 16:36:59

Just so happens I'm a Spurs fan so does that gain me any brownie points?

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 16:37:35

you ladies are going to make me blush

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 16:38:20

boooooooooooooooo spurs,

<uses social sciences textbook to shield self>

Pinkyorkbunny Fri 26-Apr-13 16:41:23

Torres no, no, no Frank Lampard all the way grin

Oh hang on I forgot I'm supposed to be happily married wink

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 16:43:37

I used to have a crush on Edwin Van der Sar and Gary Neville.

Before anyone asks, yes i do have a strange taste in men, but it gets better, Michael Fassbender and Jason Isaac, mmmmmm.

AnyFucker Fri 26-Apr-13 16:49:16

cuch, a flaming can be arranged if you really want one

Did you list that as one of your niche interests ? wink

ItsYoniYappy Fri 26-Apr-13 16:52:04

Have you tried POF? Sorry if it has been mentioned but I met used a few men on there.

I could have had 2 dates tonight but I have a new book. Feel fat today and cbarsed!

ItsYoniYappy Fri 26-Apr-13 16:55:24

I'm not at the match.com stage yet (i.e. paying to meet a guy)

CuChullain Fri 26-Apr-13 16:56:30

Any

sadly that was not one of the 'interests' listed, had to settle for filling the condom with tabasco instead

This could get interesting, later this evening, when the wine comes out.....Don't you agree AF?

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:00:14

I was on POF, but attracted all the twats, im a magnet for them, so i just gave up.

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 17:04:09

I was just saying in the dating thread im signing up to POF, hopefully its just the men on there that are twats

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:07:23

<evilly plots to find spence on POF, and spam him>

You might get lucky Spence, i cant say for sure, never gone through the womens profiles.

<smiles evilly>

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 17:07:42

There are a few blokes, like myself, who for one reason or another use this site.
Can you imagine the uproar if we'd have started a thread like this?
Having said that, it is a rather good idea....may have to start composing one anon.
Let me see.....Fit bloke in forties, likes travel, reading, meeting new people, curling up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a DVD..........oh, and hung like a donkey.
Any takers?

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:09:40

Sorry boy, being a spurs fan is a dealbreaker for me grin, im a Man Utd kinda girl.

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 17:09:50

I will proper cat-fight you for Michael Fassbender... especially as Mr Rochester

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:11:12

You so will not Fast, i might be short, but i can fight, hes mineeeeee!!!!!

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 17:12:15

ha that would be evil Louly but at least i would be receiving some messages

CuChullain Fri 26-Apr-13 17:12:36

Loulybelle

......being a spurs fan is a dealbreaker for me grin, im a Man Utd kinda girl.


So you must be right filthy then

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:15:17

shhhhh Cu, dont spread it about.

Spence, Im sure you will get plenty of fishes, all waiting for a nibble.

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 17:15:22

Louly I'm over six foot in heels and massively determined. You're not having him

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:17:39

Fast, im 5 foot 3, 50% Irish and an essex girl, being a harden bitch comes naturally, i'll take ya down, but i will feel catholic guilt afterwards.

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 17:21:37

i really hope so but you definitley wont be spamming me since I'm a Leeds fan

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 17:23:39

OK, there are several of us women on here who've expressed an interest in a NS relationship...

Has anyone else had a PM from a man wanting the same? I'm just wondering if this guy has PMed all of us.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:25:14

Spence, my ex was a West Ham fan, not really in the position to judge now am i.

Fast, i've had plenty of offers for NS relationships.

DotCottonsHairnet Fri 26-Apr-13 17:26:59

Can I join in this thread? Seperated for almost 6 months and have realised all I miss from stbxh is the sex! A fwb would be fab for now!

Am wary of the POF type sites.

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 17:35:34

Dot i know what you mean about wary.

I tried a different site than POF for a few days but i just find it harder chatting/flirting through a keyboard than face to face.

AnyFucker Fri 26-Apr-13 17:36:33

FBF, it could get very interesting

unfortunately I will not be here to referee proceedings grin

cuch , that tabasco in the condom sounds hawwwt shock

ItsYoniYappy Fri 26-Apr-13 17:36:51

A man PMing ?

Nope but if it the same one who used to well he wouldn't pm me because he already has and been told off a lot grin (sorry not funny)

Report him!

Can I just state I'm not looking for sex, I did date 2 guys and had sex with them but I am more a no sex without monogamy type so no PMs please.

I'm also on a dating break and will be until Julyish! POF is full of guys looking for sex, I was naive I had no idea dvd = sex. The really thought guys paid £20 taxi to come and watch a dvd with me. hmm

Then they were sent home again approx 30 mins after arrival.

Just stating though, there are men on there looking for NS sex. I would say to always chat to them for a good while first and ove phone too and tell someone if/when/where you meet them

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:41:54

Thats why i gave up, i dont want a NS relationship, i dont want all that bollocks i want commitment, and i wont be strayed from that want, i'll wait for commitment but i wont be shagging losers in the mean time.

I never found any serious guys on POF, so i cant be arsed to look anymore.

ItsYoniYappy Fri 26-Apr-13 17:50:40

I'm the same Lbelle, I just go on when bored and lonely and have my options set at 'friends' I don't know if I want commitment, I don't know what I want tbh, a weekend guy would be nice.

I don't know how people re-marry or have new DPs, I never let anyone meet my DC and cannot visualise how that would go DS1 may say 'yeah he looks gay' grin

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 17:51:11

Does anyone have any positive storys about POF?

Im starting to think if its a waste of time signing up

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:55:17

Spence, i know a girl on another thread has met a guy on POF, its early days, but shes happy and he sounds nice.

AnyFucker Fri 26-Apr-13 17:56:47

What about "my single friend" started by that buxom lass of the Telly?

I think that is a bit less "meat market"

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 17:58:33

well at least thats something then

my issue is that im not looking for No strings sex but at the same time not ready for a full blown relationship after just coming out of one.

Id like to meet someone nice to go on dates with and days out etc and just see where it leads with no pressure. Im just not sure if POF is the best place to find something like that

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 17:59:06

Haha, i dread to think what my best friend would write about me, shes so bloody fortright, she could be a verbal assassin.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 18:00:22

I know Spence, you want that, "Friendship with potential to develop"

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 18:01:36

yeah thats exactly it.

I think its going to be easier said than done though

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 18:03:43

I think its about patience really Spence, i tried but i got no where, and being a single parent , i dont have the capacity for an in and out style relationship, id rather something that has potential to move forward.

ItsYoniYappy Fri 26-Apr-13 18:04:50

Spence I have heard of one couple who met, clicked and they are still together.

There are a lot of arses and men sending, well arse and other body parts and I have heard the females are just as bad, one guy said there was a female on there stating her rent and asking for guy to pay in return for sex...

I have a profile way too long now stating:

Do not send me pics of this and that

Kal - No just no (copper who came out and found my boys bikes, very pleasant, not looking for sex but ... I just don't erm.. connect with him.

Mikey - please stop stalking me I have blocked you 6 times now and you l keep rejoining it's getting weird (a guy I dated who lived in same bloody town - stalked me for months until I moved)

and

No quick jumps here please but some don't read the profile and just message you anyway.

One guy today wanted me to cam to him and that was me on there looking for 'friends' hmm

I could tell you so many stories of men who looked very normal but turned out to be looking for submissive and wanted to do my ironing whilst wearing suspender. (liked the ironing bit tbh)

AF I may google that tomorrow I need to stay away from POf, a guy I was talking to today 'is waiting' on me. [shudder]

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 18:08:29

Omg, the amount of dicks i was subjected was astounding, some guys are just so damn desperate, like i see a dick im gonna fall in love with it, i want the man not the dick.

AnyFucker Fri 26-Apr-13 18:12:13

Erk

rugbychick Fri 26-Apr-13 18:17:50

I met my partner on pof nearly 3 years ago. We have a beautiful 1 year old dd, and waiting to move into the new home we have bought together. But I did meet loads of idiots before hand!

ItsYoniYappy Fri 26-Apr-13 18:18:28

Ha! After one was sent to me I sent a message saying:

If I wanted to see a dick I could have looked at your face. Then blocked him angry

One guy seemed really nice, spoke to him for 3 weeks then he was upfront with me he was leaving he was looking for sex and knew I wasn't going to just do that. I quite liked him - pre that conversation.

Another was into ball busting, (i googled to see if he was abnormal) there was me thinking he was nice and taking an interest in the boys, he asked about them fighting, then moved onto them kicking each other in the balls confused That conversation did not end well.

Erm... met a guy from America, he was a sleaze too, he had a lot of money but he was full of arrogance and octopus hands

Met another one, he turned up with his work clothes on - he worked on a building site grin He declared his love for me and told me to remove myself from POF after 1 hour, I said DS was unwell and went home, he phoned for week.

Other one said he was 27 he was 23, I was 38. blush

If anyone if lurking this never give anyone your phone number if your not willing to change it

I've seen what looks like a nice normalish man on Zoosk (normal I mean older I need to stop dating 30 year olds), he has sent me 4 messages but I have to pay £25 to read them.

Sorry OP I have hijacked your thread. My tales of POF

spenceuk Fri 26-Apr-13 18:22:14

I might just stick to the old fashioned way of meeting someone.

Anyway im going for a well deserved beer since im leaving work for the week. Enjoyed the chat with you all hope you all have a nice night.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 18:22:49

Omg Yoni, kicking each other in the balls, what a freak.

That is why i wont go back to POF.

Mondrian Fri 26-Apr-13 18:22:59

Back in my early twenties, the only after hrs watering hole was the local disco and remember something about Tuesday nights being an over 30's (40's?) event. Is that something that went out with the 80's or is that still happening? I think it can work for some, but most seem to prefer Internet nowadays - funny how people find the effort of meeting up too taxing and prefer the Internet yet they wonder why relationships are so elusive.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 26-Apr-13 18:23:46

There are twats on every dating site going, POF is no different, at least you don't pay for twatness!

Just get yourself a rabbit, that'll sort it!

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 18:27:40

Clipped, me and my rabbit arent on speaking terms, since he caught me cheating with the shower head.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 26-Apr-13 18:28:12

As for positives about POF. I've found it to be one of the best sites and have used it on and off for years. Match was shite, so was Dating Direct etc.

ItsYoniYappy Fri 26-Apr-13 18:28:36

I'm sticking to supermarkets now.

Or maybe if I temp somewhere for work. I have a 'no dating men at work rule'

I have too many rules.

tbh after 16 years in a controlling marriage I was like a loose cannon, I had fun kindof and wanted to prove I was attractive. I done that then stopped dating again. Haven't dated a guy from the internet since August last year.

Last date was December last year.

I would like a date but not sex. I may try mysinglefriend but even the name sounds a bit sad

Bye spence, thanks staying after calling me twat grin

ItsYoniYappy Fri 26-Apr-13 18:29:57

I was on Match for a free trial, didn't like it much either. I think my guydar is faulty! I'd rather go to bed with my book just now tbh

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 20:29:48

I want to find someone who wouldn't be sleeping with anyone else but wouldn't want commitment from me. Is that unfeasible?

And it would have to be someone I liked and whose company I enjoyed as well.

It's the holy grail I think.

I might try some of these sites. Worried dh might find me on there though wink

Not that it's any of his business.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 20:55:25

ffs anyone wanna give me a slap, i feel like a right moody bitch today.

I went on eHarmony and got no matches, i must be bloody unique.

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 21:00:17

So you want to be shagged by someone who you like and want to spend time with, who you fancy and who isn't shagging anyone else.

I believe that's called marriage

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:06:14

haha, Boy, i think you have it right there grin

Darkesteyes Fri 26-Apr-13 21:08:06

OP i can relate to how you feel. I feel exactly the same way. Am still in my sexless marriage of 17 years.
Havent had sex since when it was with ex OM at Christmas 2007.
Really getting pissed off now.

Darkesteyes Fri 26-Apr-13 21:11:55

And a side effect of this is that smear tests are VERY painful.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:23:30

Oh dark, i need another smear test, omg its awful and last time my tight fanjo was commented on,

Darkesteyes Fri 26-Apr-13 21:25:32

My last one was 2 years ago and it was so painful i was in tears Its horrible isnt it sad thanks

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 21:27:51

So you want to be shagged by someone who you like and want to spend time with, who you fancy and who isn't shagging anyone else.

I believe that's called marriage

That's a joke, right? Marriage is none of the above <cynical>

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 21:28:37

Darkest why don't you leave?

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:28:44

Fast, it depends on the kind of marriage.

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 21:30:15

Well mine wasn't ..... But in an ideal world it would be the above.
Your description sounds a bit more then a no strings attached thing

Darkesteyes Fri 26-Apr-13 21:30:55

Im sorry that you had a comment aimed at you when you went last time. In my case both the nurses know my situation well because they were administering my contraceptive injection and they tell me when ever i go for a smear that i deserve better.

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 21:31:55

Tight fanjo loulybelle?
Bet you don't put that on your dating profile

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:32:44

I dont think she meant harm by it Dark, it was more an observation she noticed i musta had a c section

Boy, that would be my idea of marriage too.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:33:25

X posted, Hell no i wouldnt Boy, oh the response from freaks and weirdos would be disturbing.

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 21:36:40

You sound a bit like me louly... A hopeless romantic

Darkesteyes Fri 26-Apr-13 21:38:39

fast there is a lot to this which includes cultural abuse by my DM. When she found out about my OM back in 2003 after i had been seeing him for a couple of months she cried and shouted and screamed and banged her hands on the floor begging me not to leave. Ive been emotionally abused gaslighted by DM and DH refused to go for counselling when i asked him to before the affair. I veer from crying a lot to feeling completely numb. Last week i started a healthy eating plan. Im having 2 Weetabix for breakfast and fish and vegetables for dinner. I have cut out all treats and all carbs. I want to be attractive again. So ive stopped comfort eating now and hope to meet someone.
Im determined that my next smear test will not be so painful.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:39:12

yeah Boy, i suppose i am, i want someone i enjoy being with, doing things with, im adaptable so i would take on someone elses interests aswell as my own, i think thats a key to a good relationship, being able to share knowing the person is interested too.

fastdriver Fri 26-Apr-13 21:39:40

Well I would't want a NSA thing with someone I didn't like and fancy.

And the 'no-one else' thing isn't about wanting commitment, rather it's I'd rather have an exclusive arrangement with someone for as long as it lasted. Would anyone want a lover who was shagging around? It's too risky. And without any expectation that it would lead to anything like living together. I love having my own bed and bathroom, my kids aren't at an age where they would want, or I would want them to have, a stepfather.

Definitely wouldn't want to saddle myself with another husband!

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:41:20

i get it Fast, you wouldnt want to me with someone whos get his fingers in too many pies, you want exclusive dating.

Darkesteyes Fri 26-Apr-13 21:42:02

i dont believe in marriage any more. My faith in it has been completely destroyed.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:44:34

Dark, i tell ya my mum has been with her partner for nearly 15 years, they have my little sister and all the rights of a married couple, but neither wants to get married again, marriage isnt the main goal in life.

I'd like to get married, and very nearly did, if i did divorce im not sure i'd re marry.

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 21:46:27

NSA relationships are cool, but it probably will require a specific type of bloke who will fit the bill. Probably someone who is not long put of a long term relationship and not looking for anything serious, is late forties, fit and has own teeth and hair ;-)

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 21:47:41

Or a convict who gets day release

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:49:26

or most blokes that i've encountered.

boyfromipinema Fri 26-Apr-13 21:51:26

So cynical Loulybelle...at such a young age

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:52:54

I know, a mardy 30 yr old, but i must give off the i love twats aura.

Darkesteyes Fri 26-Apr-13 21:53:54

I guess what i meant was i dont believe in relationships any more.

Sorry Bit maudlin tonight.

Loulybelle Fri 26-Apr-13 21:54:41

Dark, i feel the same, trying to study when you feel like a moody cow aint easy.

Darkesteyes Sat 27-Apr-13 01:20:02

Watching Father Ted and wanting to ride Bishop Brennan. Thats how much i want it at the mo. Would ride him till dawn.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 16:05:17

Yoni i didnt call you a twat there must of been a misunderstanding.

Darkesteyes times must be hard if you want bishop brennan

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 16:11:19

Spence, dark has hit rock bottom. im nearly there.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 16:15:33

well dont worry Louly, i will meet you there

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 16:57:04

Tis comfy down here too, might stay.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 17:42:17

there are certainly worse places to be

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 17:57:15

Oh indeed there are Spence, like Leeds grin

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 18:05:16

ha ha, harsh but fair

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 18:05:59

I do try to be fair Spence.

ItsYoniYappy Sat 27-Apr-13 18:13:28

Sorry spence I think you were calling POF 'twats' reading back.

Loullybelly you're only 30 get your ass of the dating sites and out into that RL world.

I've been unsociable this weekend, in bed by 9pm last night asleep by 11pm, up at 8am, bed 1.30pm, up 3.30pm....

I will try harder next weekend

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 18:15:28

its ok Yoni i hope i didnt sound rude i just would never call a woman that i know how offensive it can be.

Louly glad you to hear your fair

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 18:16:42

Yoni, i try but with a 5 yr old, limited funds, its not always easy, plus i overdid it last night and puked my guts up at quarter to 2, glad i binned that vodka.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 18:25:48

louly i can imagine its difficult. Hope your feeling ok though it doesnt sound nice what happened

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 18:28:23

Im ok Spence, just trying to write 1500 words, and the essay needs to be in on monday, gonna be winging it again.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 18:30:27

hope you manage to get it done, im sure you will though

its a few beers chilling out in front of the tele for me tonight

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 18:34:24

I will, even though its boring.

Beers and telly sounds good. I wish i didnt drink all the So Co now.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 18:37:32

what is your essay about?

I used to always have one drink to relax me while doing essays when i was at uni

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 18:42:21

500 words on summerising research data and then 1000 words arguing that "Good fences make good neighbours"

Didnt realise Social sciences was so engaging, rather go back to the counselling studies.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 18:45:09

i dont envy you at all sounds complicated.

Im sure it will be all worth it though when you qualify

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 18:47:42

Not complicated just so boring, i got essays right up til october.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 18:50:53

it will all soon be over, at least you can come on here for support when needed, everyone on here when i needed support were amazing

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 18:54:02

Yeah, cant fault it.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 18:58:03

right i will stop disturbing you im gonna get myself a beer

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 19:00:11

Yes, i fail i blame you, if i get desperate, i'll be sitting in the bath writing for 2 hour. smile

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 19:01:52

a nice long bath will sort you out but ok thats fair i will take them blame smile

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 19:05:20

It always does Spence, and your sweet to take the blame for my laziness. smile

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 19:11:22

ha its no problem, some of us men have to be sweet but thats prob why i ended up in this thread in the first place

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 19:16:42

I know, some women spot sweetness for muggness, i see sweetness as a sign of being a decent respectful guy.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 19:19:11

ive definitely always been with the women who view it as muggnes

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 19:20:30

Thats a shame too Spence, you seem like a decent guy, but some stupid women like bad boys, like my idiot friend.

fastdriver Sat 27-Apr-13 19:21:38

I don't think 'own teeth and hair' is that much of a recommendation. It only makes me think that the guy is of an age where he might wear a wig and have dentures.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 19:22:13

thats nice of you to say so, but yeah some women definitley prefer that

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 19:23:57

I've encounted my fair share of bad boys, i certainly wouldnt wanna saddle myself with one.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 19:25:03

at least experiencing the bad points means you get chance to learn from them

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 19:26:46

Yep Spence, i know exactly what i want from a potential partner.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 19:29:16

always good to know what you want in a guy.

like i said a couple of pages back i just wanna meet someone nice for friendship with the potential to develop into something serious

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 19:33:02

and i think thats the best way to develop a serious relationship, it was a whirlwind with my ex, and it went tits up after 3 years, its better to make the connections without the pressures of a relationship.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 19:36:23

yeah i know what you mean

i was with my ex for years and i thought everything was great until you got involved with her boss. It really knocked my confidence so its only until recently that i felt like i could start to meet someone new

Loulybelle Sat 27-Apr-13 19:40:32

Well you sound like a nice guy, so i hope you encounter only nice women who appreciate you.

spenceuk Sat 27-Apr-13 19:43:10

thanks thats very nice of you smile i hope we both meet someone nice

fastdriver Sun 28-Apr-13 02:00:52

Thanks for hijacking to have a one on one conversation.

Loulybelle Sun 28-Apr-13 08:40:24

Sorry sad

ItsYoniYappy Sun 28-Apr-13 08:51:19

Fastdriver

Don't be nasty or envy, just look on it as tips on how to speak to a guy.

Loulybelle Sun 28-Apr-13 09:06:03

I feel really bad now sad

ItsYoniYappy Sun 28-Apr-13 09:31:51

Don't feel bad, I'm chatting on it too I thought OP had left tbh I think everyone had gave their advice.

I wouldn't worry.

Hope you got your essay done.

fastdriver Tue 30-Apr-13 01:19:44

Don't feel bad Louly. I kind of wrote that with a smile on my face and should have put a winky emoticon at the end of it.

ItsYoni I don't really think I need tips on how to talk to guys. It would be nice to meet some interesting ones in the first place though. I was fairly successful with men in my youth. What's come as a horrible realisation though, is this: when I was young I had hot boyfriends who were the same age as me and it was fine because we were all young, including me. Now the attractive men my age (the type I went for when I was younger) have women ten years younger than I am who would be happy to be with them. So I have to look at older men, or less attractive men my own age, if that makes sense. Mostly (with a few exceptions like Yasmin Le Bon) an attractive woman in her thirties will look better than an attractive woman in her forties. I am struggling with this, my toxic mum brought me up to think that a woman's main currency was her looks (thanks for that). So my self esteem is getting very shaky as I age.

I have a single friend who is 40 with no kids and she seems to meet some very attractive men the same age on sites like match.com. All childless. But I've got kids and if I look on sites like mumsmeetdads or whatever, the guys are, well, pretty unattractive. They all look really old and worn out. Maybe it's just what happens when you've got kids and have been through the stress of a big break up. I kind of feel like I'd rather be celibate than shag some hairy handed, sweaty, red faced middle aged man, and that's what seems to be on the market.

There's a married guy who's interested and he's a surgeon . It's flattering but I'd never act on it. Why can't I meet someone like that who is unattached?

It's been good hearing from other people in a similar situation. There doesn't seem to be much to do apart from go on dating sites, negotiate the shark-infested waters, weed out the married men and tossers etc.

Maybe I'm too soon post separation but that really doesn't appeal, so I guess I will have to just accept the situation unless I PM back the poster who suggested a hook up, but I really don't fancy that

fastdriver Tue 30-Apr-13 01:22:26

The married surgeon is gorgeous, btw. Maybe that's the problem, all the good ones are married...

I wouldn't ever be an OW though.

I will end up with cocoa at bedtime and a house full of cats.

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 07:17:31

Maybe you're looking in all the wrong places ?

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 08:45:24

Fast driver I could have wrote your post, everything you said applies tome (expect the surgeon)!

Why do all the men look so old? grin I have been dating men 10 years younger. I had a date at Xmas with an ex. He was my ex from when I was 19, so he was 17 back then, now he is 37 and his hair is all grey and his bones creak.

mine do too but I can hide it well

I think Mr Right is somewhere where you least expect it (hopefully), I still think the supermarket is good, although most men there are married.

Do you have a type at all? I do. I don't like office workers (that's my job) I like the building trade men but cleaned up ones - I also like my old GP but then he is married. He is the only man in a suit I have found attractive.

I met a very lovely man in the last year of my marriage. Sadly, I was married and he went off with a single person. grin

I'm 39 but usually people think I am 5 or 6 years younger. When I was 36 some people used to think I was late-20s. So I am obviously catching myself up.

I do think the "someone comes along when and where you least expect it" is, for the majority, a nonsense cliché quite honestly. As I think has been said on other threads, if you want a new job, new house, new car, you don't sit waiting for them to magically arrive when you least expect them.

Getting laid would be nice but I'm not one for one night stands or a casual hook-up. A good snog would suffice for now quite honestly.

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 09:50:00

< intrigued as to who has been pm'ing for hook ups grin >

AF it weren't me, honest guv

lottieandmia Tue 30-Apr-13 10:09:39

POF is a horrible website and also has people on there pretending to be someone they aren't. I wouldn't recommend it.

I would also say that most men I've come across before who are 30 plus and single are looking for a relationship. That may be just my experience.

lottieandmia Tue 30-Apr-13 10:13:10

It's also really hard to find someone for a NSA arrangement who will also agree for that to be exclusive.

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 10:45:53

I am 35 always !

I am 39 but on dating sites I am 35, maybe 36 now, noone has ever questioned it. I was 36 when I first joined, I just don't age. ever

AF I didn't get a message!

Who was it Fastcar? I wont put envy as the ones I have received on here are from married men. Who luffs their wives but their wives no give 'em sex. My answer is usually 'try a bum massage used to every time, work for me' blush

Then I realised this could mi-construed as me wanting a bum massage from them, so I ignore them, I had no idea ignoring people worked until someone done it to me, works every time. I am big fan of ignorance.

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 10:52:57

I would also say that most men I've come across before who are 30 plus and single are looking for a relationship. That may be just my experience.

this does seem to apply to Scottish men, or maybe it's me, the ones who have liked me I haven't liked them and the ones who want relationships seem to want them right away. I don't like 'needy men'. One date I had with a guy who picture made him look great, texted me literally 3 mins after our date asking

'So do you like me?'

I didn't. What to say?

Nothing, ignore him. Easier, unfortunately he was a stalker, so I had to change number and the house move came at a good time

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 11:07:42

< narrows eyes >

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 11:51:52

Alas t'was I.
Seemed like a good offer.
I'm not usually that shallow but at moment it's all I'm after as well
( bruised heart) and I certainly don't want to meet a woman who wants more and is disappointed when she finds I don't .
Not a nice way to behave for a man my age
(

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 12:00:19

This isn't a knocking shop, boy grin

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 12:01:28

Anyway I'm going to leave site. It's been very helpful to me as I needed some advice and encouragement when I joined.
However it seems wrong me hanging about as its a mums site, and I'm not a mum.
Thanks to all you nice women who took the time to advise and I hope those of you who are hurting find some light at the end of the tunnel.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:01:31

< intrigued as to who has been pm'ing for hook ups >

Errrrrrrrrrrr....... hmm

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 12:07:23

Ha! Boy grin

Fastcar I think you should at least get a picture from boy before he leaves, you never know, he may be single and handsome and be of some use to you

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 12:07:36

boy there are plenty of people who use this site who are not mums

there are not many who use it to arrange "hook ups" though...

you shouldn't leave the site, however, if you find it useful, just restrain yourself from trawling it for sex, it shouldn't be hard wink

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:08:58

You lot trying to play matchmaker again grin

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 12:18:33

I'm not trawling for sex...honest.
I'm probably not in the right headspace to go there....but I'm a bloke so when i saw her post I had an irresistible urge to take a chance.
I don't want to exploit anyone and she clearly only wants NSA so it seemed a good option.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:22:04

Boy, i gotta admire a chancer lol

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 12:23:18

I'm not the boss of MN, you can do what you like. Just trying to give you some friendly advice smile

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 12:24:33

... and I think you might have pm'ed the wrong one

Epic fail there. It would be sleazy to give it a go with another one, btw grin

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:27:26

AF who should he have pm'ed?

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 12:27:40

'not in the right headspace'

Yeah right boy, so, if by chance, fastcar is local to you and you find her attractive and ditto?

Meh.. you would have sex with her I know it!

How old are you?

<takes notes>

Tbh the 30 year olds I meet have a bit too much energy I like a nap after DTDeed, and of course a massage first, then maybe another massage after would be nice too.

I realise now though, the guy I met had been watching too much porn and doesn't realise I am not some orgasaming machine who can go for hours, so he is a no no now. I seen him last August he almost killed me

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 12:28:28

I think so too AF but didn't like to say

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 12:28:34

louly, not me smile

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 12:29:22

Me either. I'm not dating until Augustish! or anything else.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:29:53

Not me either smile

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 12:31:36

Why the magic month of August, Yappy ?

What if Brad Pitt (or whoever passes for a fit bloke at your age) asked you out tomorrow ? Would you put him on the calender for 01/08/2013 ? smile

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:33:07

I wouldnt put Michael Fassbender of for 4 months, not even 4 secs.

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 12:35:17

I didn't message anyone else as I agree, it would look sleazy, and I'm not desperate. It was her OP so I messaged her.
I did think afterwards that there were one or two posters who I would have liked to message, but by then it was too late.
I'm a one booty call man.
ps
Not that she's replied by the way.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:36:51

sad Boy

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 12:46:10

Well I decided last August I was sick of dating and was going to give me a year off to find myself, so I'm doing that, I still haven't found self as yet but it's only April....4 months to go.

To be brutally honest I also decided to stop watching what I ate and ate chocolate and cake daily from Oct-Mar and have gained weight and I feel very unconfident, I'm not massive a 12/14 but to me I'm massive, it's a confidence thing.

I cannot have a reltionship right now due to my children and I detest serial dating so I will see. I am actually very bored at weekends when the DC go though. I like the Fri/Sat but after that, I get lonely, so sometimes end up chatting on the dating sites, I just say no the dates and stick to it!

I may wait and find a dominoes partner when DC leave home.

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 12:48:56

Boy IMO

You have played this all wrong,when OP said erm.. whatever night this started 'has anyone else had pms' you should have fessed up it was you and voila! Date-time or erm sex-time!

She may reply now.

Wont you Fast ? grin Please, I'm bored and that would make a good MN story, well for me!

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:48:59

Yoni, i been single 4 years, so i know what you mean.

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 12:55:28

I would also have to say no to Brad Pitt.

I moved house and couldn't sleep, I had 2 options:

1. Take pills from GP and get fat (they are originally for anorexia and make you crave sugar)

2. Manage on 3 hours sleep per night and get even thinner

I went with option 1. sleep and get a bit fatter. All of sudden the summer is here (over 15 degrees in Scotland) and I've got mummy tummy boobs to match!

Tbh my ex was hanging around until December 2011 and threatens me with a risk assessment on my DC and their suitability to be around any man I meet, and that's if I even look at a man. and he finds out

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 12:57:50

Sounds like a charming man Yoni,

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 13:02:02

Yappy, your ex can make whatever threats he likes, but he's talking bollocks

Unless you are previously flagged with SS for inviting dangerous men to move in with your children, they will tell him to take a running jump

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 13:19:42

Yeah I know, I don't take too much notice as he doesn't live near us he would make trouble wherever he could though, it's not great having him as baggage, he contacted me today again with his threats and weird accusations, he has a new g. friend, and baby, well not so much the baby as she is in care but I he has half a live to live I wish he would just fuck off tbh grin

I told him as much this morning, along with how much he physically disgusted me and I had no idea why I stayed with him for so long.

Then blocked his fake profile and left facebook. He has no other way to contact me so that's that.

I am seriously thinking of moving to very very North of Scotland away from him, or Leeds (family).

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 17:14:11

Actually messaging fastdriver was a bit sleazy and opportunistic on my part now I think about it. Her original post wasn't about looking for a man on this forum for sex with, but for advice on where to find one.
Don't blame her for not responding.

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 17:20:51

Preee-cisely smile

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 17:22:17

and, mate, you need to stop attempting to prompt her into replying to your message

< points 2 fingers at my eyes, points 2 fingers at boy's eyes >

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 17:23:32

lol.
I don't want her to reply and I actually want to retract the offer.
I'm not really ready for it yet if the truth be told.
Still a bit heartbroken.

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 17:24:45

....and I've still not finished my course of treatment at the sexual health clinic.

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 17:27:32

erk grin

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 17:27:41

AF reminds me of a dad trying to keep pervy teenage boys away from the daughter lol

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 17:28:25

louly, I have a 17yo dd

tell me abouuuuut it grin

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 17:28:27

And thinking about it, even if I was to meet her it would probably make more sense after my penis enlargement procedure.

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 17:29:19

Her bf's have been petrified of me. I can't think why. Arf.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 17:31:02

AF, it all becomes clear now lol

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 17:32:33

Ha! Class AF, it's funny when you can exactly what someones doing (up to) and just come out and say so, I do it in RL a lot too. Especially with males.

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 17:35:30

Good luck with the procedure, boy

You will be irresistable when it's all over.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 17:37:39

AF, you could do a testicle retraction from your sharp wit alone.

boyfromipinema Tue 30-Apr-13 17:38:25

Cheers. Actually is a correctional procedure as they mucked it up last time. It ended up looking like a toilet brush.
Just got to get the flatulance problem sorted after that and I'll be god's gift.

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 17:40:02

smile Aww, I am very nice too if they don't step out of line

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 18:35:06

Its Yoni Happy Bloody hell. Size 12/14 is what im trying to get down to. Ive been living on Weetabix Fish and vegtables for the past two weeks and clothes are loose already.
im about a size 20/22 There is a lot on my breasts though. My newest bra is a 38 K .
I tried to diet last year but back then wasnt prepared to give up the pasta and potatos (i didnt have to ten yrs ago when i lost ten stone but i cant seem to get away with eating so many carbs now) now ive dropped pasta potatos and diet coke and just drink water based low sugar squash. I just hope it continues to work.

Oh and i had this really weird sex dream about someone who hasnt even been on tv for years and woke up in shock.
It was Bob Cryer from the Bill FFS <head desk> i never even used to watch it.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 18:55:28

38 K, blimey Dark, i thought my 38 F's were huge.

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 19:00:06

Sorry Darkesteyes, I have ishoos with my weight, well size, I refuse to step on the scales, I realise it sounds very shallow but this weight hasn't even distributed itself correctly, I look 16 wks pregnant, I may go for a quick walk tomorrow hmm

My eating is back to normal levels again thankfully, maybe the weight will just go as fast as it came grin

Sorry Fastcar ya got a date though with boy the disease riddled farter with the bathroom brush dick. How can you ignore that?

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 19:01:28

I have my mothers boobs!

34Ds although they are trying to burst out (sorry boy tmi) but I refuse to buy more nice under-wear I just need to quit the cake!

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 19:03:05

Yoni, i wont go on the scales either, it just depresses me.

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 19:03:32

Bob Cryer from The Bill grin

Well done on the weetabix and weight loss

I have ate today

2 slices of seeded bread (I cannot do no carbs I love toast)
8 coconut rings
tea x 8 cups

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 19:06:31

Im going on slimming world diet, apparently its good.

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 19:07:36

I'm 5'8 so I can hide it well if I suck in my tummy and wear baggy jumpers, but the summer is here [wail]

I wish I was comfortable at this size, then I could keep eating cakes.

38 KKKKKKKKKKKKKK OMG Some Men would pay to see them btw!

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 19:08:42

I don't know what I'm doing yet diet wise, usually if I stop eating cake it goes away again, I'm not a great eater when I'm not on pills designed for anorexics (thankfully)

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 19:08:44

38K, i can imagine causing injuries with those puppies.

ItsYoniYappy Tue 30-Apr-13 19:10:36

That's 7 alphabet letters up from mine. I was trying to judge the size I refuse to start googling females breasts, my Dss will be wondering WTf is up with me.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 19:13:17

lol, i have 38 F, and i hate them.

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 21:07:48

I dont have scales in the flat. Id never be off the fucking things.
Boobwise im an F cup at 11 stone and a size 12. I have my late grans boobs and she was big up top.
When i dropped the 10 stone i went from a 46G at 21 stone to a 34F at 11 stone. My boobs just seem to stay bigger.

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 21:08:38

5 foot 8 and a 12 to 14. I bet you look great.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 21:10:17

Dark, how the fuck did you drop 10 stone.

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 21:10:44

my ex OM used to like me to go on top and lean slightly forward so that my boobs bounced in his face. It was also perfect for putting pressure on the clit so win win.

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 21:16:43

It was on Slimmimg World when i was 29/30 Now 10 years later it doesnt seem to work Not the Green plan anyway hence lowering the carbs.
But i lost that ten stone too quickly. A stone a month for seven months then over a year to lose the last three. About 4 stones into it i got gallstones. The pain of that was excrutiating Has gall bladder removed ten years ago . It was 10 years the Sunday just gone.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 21:39:29

Im starting on Slimming world soon, i tried the Kee Diet, lost 2 stone in 8 weeks, i hated every minute of it.

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 21:50:15

The Kee Thats a new one to me.

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 21:52:57

Soup and Shakes, my brain hurts whenever i think about doing that again.

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 21:56:59

God i want sex.....badly sad

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 21:57:40

i feel your pain Dark sad

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 21:58:33

I think that is pretty clear, going off your post at 21:10, DE shock grin

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 21:59:38

<waves at AF> wine

Loulybelle Tue 30-Apr-13 22:00:48

i've had a 4 yr dry spell, god help the guy who i sleep with, hes gonna be ruined

Darkesteyes Tue 30-Apr-13 22:05:15

Ive had a 5 and a half year dry spell since splitting with OM.

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 01:40:31

So, boy said upthread that he wanted to retract his 'offer'. But this was after he'd PMed me again at 7.25 this morning to have another go at talking me into a hook up. Complete with link to his webpage with photos - no bog brush cock shots thank God.

There's a guy I was at school with who is pursuing me but him telling me about what kind of porn he likes wanking to the most is a bit offputting tbh

I might go out for cocktails with the surgeon...it's safe because I know I wouldn't sleep with him because he's married and his wife lives in a different country so no chance of upsetting anyone. Is that wrong? We could talk about work...

I've got a 28yo and very handsome colleague I get on like a house on fire with. He's got a gf but we share an interest in the Telegraph crossword.

Also have the option to choose a work placement with a guy who I have no doubt is the love of my life... I adore him and think about him still. But he is also married and has LOs. It would torment him and he deserves it, the bastard. But not sure I've got the guts to dive into such shark infested waters.

I need another better option than these losers. Anyone got a nice, single/divorced/separated db/dbil?

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 01:55:40

grin @ this thread!!

No fastcar stay away from the married man, talking or whatever just don't go there, I know it's 'just talking' but meh....it's not even truthful chat he will just talk a lot of shit!

Nope! I have an ok ex? Not the one I have talked about on here as clearly he is far from ok but I have several others who are okayish, but they are all Scottish.

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 01:57:46

Wow 5 and half year! shock

I get twitchy after a year, although last Julys all nighter my well have done me 5 years grin

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 01:58:11

may well

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 02:00:26

I meant 'xdbil' not dbil, obviously

<hurtles, trips over, in haste to escape MN stormtroopers who think they scent an OW>

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 06:49:28

FD,, stay away from the attached men, yeah ?
Don't play games with someone else's relationship, that is not cricket.

You would be better off responding to boy (if he is single)

He really is a naughty boy isn't he? Tut tut.

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 08:36:44

Naughty naughty boy

<shakes head>

Fastcar what's wrong with Boy ?

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 09:55:46

Lol, Mumsnet matchmakers, you 2 ever thought about running it lol

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 10:20:12

What's wrong with boy?

Well since you asked...

Call me old fashioned but I'm suspicious of men on MN...just feel a bit uneasy about them...shouldn't they be out chopping logs or something?

But mostly it's because he spells 'ipanema' wrongly in his name.

Any other glaring errors of spelling/syntax would be similarly dealbreaking (misuse of apostrophes for example).

No one is perfect and I'm aware this kind of pedantry probably isn't high on most men's list of qualities they seek in a sexual partner. blush

But hey-ho.

Interestingly, another male poster has now PMed me to say he can't believe boy had the audacity to do so...

Not quite sure why this warranted a PM wink

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 10:26:09

Fast, who is the other male PM'er?

Because I didn't want the thread to be derailed into a public thrashing of boy (even if deserved)

Suspicious of men on MN? Quite rightly, obviously. Mind you, while we're out chopping logs, shouldn't you mums all have something better to do? If you don't need to keep busy with babies and toddlers, how about taking the washing down to the river to bash against the rocks?

wink

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 10:29:24

touche Voice Touche lol

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 10:31:41

I don't think it's fair to out him Louly.

But I ain't bullshittin' ya

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 10:32:17

Uh oh x post

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 10:45:31

Because I didn't want the thread to be derailed into a public thrashing of boy (even if deserved)

Really, Voice? Ah, so that is why you PMed me to say that you found it 'bizarre' that boy had contacted me seeking a hook up, were 'simply gobsmacked' and then gossiped to me that he'd 'offered himself' on another thread?

It was all because you didn't want the thread to be derailed. Ah, I see. That was the point of your expressions of outrage. To avert a public thrashing. It all makes sense now. Thank you.

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 10:45:49

He outed himself Fast lol

OK, fine, let's make it public. I wanted to clarify it (although you took it as I was accusing you of lying by so doing) because I seemed to recall that there was another thread once along very similar lines where boy offered his services to someone who had asked about hook-ups. It was taken as being 'amusing', presumably because he did it in the body of the thread.

This, to my mind, is rather different from PMing people about hook-ups and I felt it was better to approach it privately than publicly in case I was mistaken and it wasn't boy.

If it wasn't boy, then obviously it would be wrong to do so publicly, but you have made it an issue. I apologise boy if it wasn't you, but I was fairly certain it was.

I was happy to "out" myself immediately.

Incidentally, I often get PMs from people on threads that I have never spoken to before. I don't regard it as suspicious.

boyfromipinema Wed 01-May-13 11:11:54

Blimey...just got back from chopping logs to all this.
To defend myself, I did start a thread looking for a date. It wasn't a thread looking for NSA hook ups though. I did actually get a few responses and was on verge of arranging a couple of dates but in the end I just thought
I'm not over my ex so it's unfair to meet anyone else yet.
That's also what I ended up thinking yesterday too when I was honest with myself.
I also felt sleazy when I thought about it all.
I decided I'd have a break from dating for a while.
I only came on mumsnet for some break up advice.
I agree blokes probably shouldn't be using it so I'm leaving to climb a mountain.

Final thought for the day, fast

See that banner at the top. It reads:

"MUMSNET - by parents, for parents"

So it is NOT exclusively for women.

Still, Bill Roache (Ken Barlow from Corrie) has been arrested for rape, so there's something else to discuss now.

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 11:35:33

I'm gonna make a website for lone single parents!

YappysDating

For lone parents by lone parents!

So no-one hooking up for no string sex today then?

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 11:38:20

Lone single parents confused same thing.

Fastcar you wouldn't like the guy I dated his spelling is terrible I always wanted to pick him up on it but tbh I didn't want him for his words. grin

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 12:58:12

Good God, this thread morphed into a schoolyard spat shock

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 13:07:35

Haha well Voice you are managing to derail this thread quite spectacularly so thanks for that.

You have actually made more of boy PMing me than I did... as did others on here. I think it's quite funny that he PMed me, it's not really that surprising (though it wasn't the point of starting a thread called 'I need to get laid'). I don't find it offensive either or blame him for taking a punt.

I'm also continuing to assume that you PMed me for a similar reason, Voice, albeit in a less overt honest fashion.

Or what did you think you were doing, defending my honour or something? Why did you need to message me privately about this? Have you got some self-imposed MN policeman role we don't know about? Well, it's OK thanks, I am quite capable of dealing with ininvited PMs, including yours.

you took it as I was accusing you of lying by so doing

Er, well you said to me 'Did he REALLY message you twice about hook ups?' and I said, 'yes, I wouldn't lie', not exactly an unreasonable response.

Also I don't dispute in any way that men have a right to be on MN. But I've got a bit of a penchant for alpha males myself rather than the sensitive types who make model train sets, bake quiches, post on Relationships and, perhaps, warn posters about predatory PMers ;)

So I suspect the MN man is not my kind of man, on the whole.

I'm off to climb a mountain

Good for you, boy. You are starting to sound a bit more my type ;)

Darkesteyes Wed 01-May-13 13:11:27

I never get PMs from blokes on here. Id like to think its because im married but the realist in me tells me its because ive mentioned my weight and dress size

Not saying that i want PMs btw.

Cant believe the turn this thread has taken.

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 13:18:10

OO-er

fastcar he is still hung up on his ex. sad

Is voiceofreason a single male too? I've only ever had one man PM me, but I didn't like it as he was married, I know there is nothing wrong with talking to married men but... well that's how stories get started.

I'm not surprised at Boy PMing you, I find it quite funny at least he's been quite honest about it all.

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 13:20:06

Yeah but did you ever start a thread called 'I want to get laid', Darkest?

I didn't either, but I wrote on one a while back about having a sexless marriage and got PMs from guys then as well.

There may be a few shameless sexual opportunists guys on here who see it as a cheaper way to meet women than dating sites (?)

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 13:22:45

I'm not surprised at Boy PMing you, I find it quite funny at least he's been quite honest about it all.

Well, quite. Gotta admire the guy in some ways. He's been sent off with a flea in his ear which wasn't my intention when I said I'd got a PM. I thought it was funny too.

I didn't out either of these PMers either.

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 13:42:07

boy I am sure you wont mind me sharing

He's kinda funny for being in his late forties! Is your hair grey Boy or have you used justformen? My Dad is in his late 60's and not all grey yet, everyone I meet has grey hair. <shallow>

he is only 3 months out of a relationship though I think, if I had advanced searched anymore I would be stalking

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 13:56:01

My biggest concern (aside from being happily married) is that you've spelt Ipanema wrong.

Haha someone said this on the previous thread but he still didn't change it. I'm glad it's not just me who thinks bad spelling is a dealbreaker it made me wonder if I was a bit of a weirdo

I'd say it's greyING Yoni. He sent me a link to his website and I've seen a pic but I guess I shouldn't post a link to that though it's very tempting

The previous thread confirms my suspicions: some men do come on MN to find women shock

boyfromipinema Wed 01-May-13 14:01:23

I reckon you're softening towards me now fast.
Anyway, it's greeting a bit, but not too bad as yet.
And you can probably see from the dating thread I started it was pretty tongue in cheek and I probably ended up sabotaging it by pissing about.
Ps
As tempted as you might be Fast please don't post link to my website.
I like to keep a cloak of anonymity like the rest of you. :-)

EmilyNugent Wed 01-May-13 14:02:37

Sorry, fast but I think your behaviour on this thread is out of line. I can't speak about boy but voice is a decent guy and is on a lot of threads.

I get seriously pissed off with women doing the whole "men shouldn't be on here" type shit or permanently assuming any man here has an ulterior motive.

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 14:04:43

I got pm'ed by a bloke from mumsnet hmm

boyfromipinema Wed 01-May-13 14:04:49

meant greying....not 'greeting'.
There, just when I was getting her onside I shoot myself in the foot again with my spelling. :-(

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 14:08:16

To be fair that isn't the only thread he on!

I have a martial arts instructor on Zoosk, he has sent me 5 messages, it wants me to pay £27 to unlock them.

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 14:09:16

Yappy, are you saying that people in their late 40's can't be funny ? hmm

< sticks up for boy >

< considers sticking him in my back pocket and touting him around for the highest bidder >

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 14:10:15

MY behaviour, Emily? Wtf?

I haven't said men shouldn't be on here. I made a silly joke about chopping logs. I pointed out that I'd had two men PM me since I started this thread and both of them chose to out themselves, not my problem.

I did say that some men come on here to find women and I think it's probably true if you look at the earlier thread Yoni has posted a link to. But I am sure they are in a small minority.

I really don't understand why Voice sent me a PM, Emily. It doesn't make sense that it was to 'prevent derailing of the thread' based on what it said.

It was more like warning me to not trust boy and I wondered why would someone do that? I don't think it's anyone's place to privately warn someone about another poster. I dont' send unsolicited PMs myself but I would never have outed someone who'd sent one to me.

Don't worry boy I'd never post a link to your website or give out the details to anyone else.

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 14:10:33

YY FWIW I have seen VoiceofReason about a lot, I just didn't know he was a he.

There you go Lbelle ask and ye shall get! grin

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 14:12:14

I agree that men are welcome on MN. Except sexist twats, them that are here to tell us wimmin how we should be doing stuff and those that can't take a joke, they can feck orf.

I haven't seen any of the men on this thread doing any of that stuff.

ItsYoniYappy Wed 01-May-13 14:12:16

AF I've got a cheek saying anything considering I'm 40 this year! I need to grow up. Soon

Tbh a few men on here don't have erm.. <squirms> are a bit uptight, maybe that's just ones who PM me grin

fastdriver Wed 01-May-13 14:12:28

excuse typos am on phone

EmilyNugent Wed 01-May-13 14:17:03

Ah well, never mind, dear, you just stay in your little cocoon then. And yes, I find some of the things you've said bizarre and unfair.

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 14:32:46

Yoni, i didnt even ask still talking to him them lol

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 14:33:45

*though

StealthOfficialCrispTester Wed 01-May-13 21:55:32

Hang around here on Nye. I had an exchange of pms with a guy who seemed quite keen. Well you know I do have a sexy username.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Wed 01-May-13 21:56:30

I assume it was a guy. Could have been a frustrated spambot for all I know.

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 22:06:27

It was me, stealth

I am so embarassed blush

StealthOfficialCrispTester Wed 01-May-13 22:09:44

Erm.......

StealthOfficialCrispTester Wed 01-May-13 22:12:56

Hoping you are winding me up, else this is by far and away the strangest thing that has happened to me on mn, and there's a fair bit of competition! grin

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 22:19:48

You gave me some comfort that night, stealth

I am indebted to you x

StealthOfficialCrispTester Wed 01-May-13 22:25:58

the world shifted on its axis a bit there but I think it shifted back grin

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 22:28:29

wink

Darkesteyes Wed 01-May-13 22:33:53

Fast ive talked a lot on here about my sexless marriage for the last 2 years and your post at 13.20 proves my point. Its not the fact that im married then

But i saw a post from an Mner on a thread a few weeks back....

If someone doesnt want you at your worst then they dont deserve to have you at your best!

Darkesteyes Wed 01-May-13 22:35:42

And being overweight (although im a work in progress) is a bloody good way of seperating the mysogynists from the nice guys.

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 22:47:31

Dark i said that, "If the cant handle me at my worst, then they dont deserve to see me at my best"

Darkesteyes Wed 01-May-13 22:56:23

Oh it was you Lou. Well i totally agree. In fact i would love a mug a coaster and a t shirt with that written on it.

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 23:04:15

So would i, as a woman i feel if i wanna look like shit sometimes then fucking will.

Darkesteyes Wed 01-May-13 23:11:41

Caitlin Moran talks about why she chose to lose weight (I love her and the positive messages she gives)
She also mentions how her husband Pete says to her "Cor i love your arse"

He said it to her at a size 24 He said it to her at a size 12.
This kind of man seems incredibly rare but thankfully they do exist.

www.salihughesbeauty.com/videos/video-in-the-bathroom-with-caitlin-moran-part-two/#comments

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 23:13:42

Im on the Slimming world diet, need to shed the rest of the left overs that my ex left.

Darkesteyes Wed 01-May-13 23:25:13

Lou What do you mean Sorry Bit thick tonight

Loulybelle Wed 01-May-13 23:28:43

My ex was such a massive twat, i decided to comfort eat, pounds piled on, now its time to get rid of them

Darkesteyes Wed 01-May-13 23:35:31

Lou i totally understand. i comfort ate too after my affair ended and to compensate for the lack of affection.
I can resonate totally.
I made an appointment today with the health nurse to be weighed in a fortnights time. Hopefully i will see it coming off the scales this time.
The reason it was such a struggle last summer was because i wasnt prepared back then to give up the pasta and potatoes. So i hope this works.
Lou you will be fine. You no longer have massive twatitis.

Loulybelle Tue 07-May-13 08:58:57

Oh now i really do need to get laid just to cheer me up.

Blondie1969 Tue 07-May-13 10:10:53

Thought I would add to thread from a male perspective.

Separated last year. Turns out my ex had been having an affair.

After taking time to rearrange life to look after kids around working full time realised I was missing some kind of romance as well as sex (and had been for some time within marriage)

For me I knew i did not want another full on relationship but wanted but decided to test the waters in POF.

As some people have women have said POF can be full of either nutters (men in 40s who think they are Gods gift or men in 20s or 30s trying luck).

Trust me the same is true from a male perspective. I did not want to lead anyone on and met/chatted some really nice women.
But out of all the women I met not many met the "checklist" i set myself.
ie they needed to be intelligent, open. Someone my age. Someone not looking for me to move in or be father to their kids after two weeks.

Someone who wanted dinners, days out. Appreciate this sounds a bit like I was looking for a girlfriend but I did want a little bit more than sex. Maybe a fling or short term romance is the word for it. So even though i mentioned romance earlier on which again signals i was looking for a full on relationship i think what i mean is for someone to have treated me as someone who they wanted to be with (for my conversation!! intelligence as well as the sex!!)

Someone who was not expecting me to text 500 times a day.

POF does work if you take enough care.

But for it too work both parties need to understand from the outset what its about.

I have heard from a few women about horror stories from men they gave numbers too who then would not stop stalking when they were politely turned down.

I have rambled a bit and hopefully will not get shot down like a number of contributors to thread.

I just want to emphasise that you can find that f**k buddy if you try hard enough!!

So best of luck for those women (and men) who are searching.

Loulybelle Tue 07-May-13 10:25:07

Thats a decent perspective Blondie.

cakes1 Tue 07-May-13 10:50:31

ha-ha- loving this thread- hilarious postings hello* gives hello
so the options are ladies are what: let me spice things up here.

Get an MOT from the list below:-)
investment in a battery friend, they don't talk back and its a clean biz
pamper yourself and hire a mesr' to give you an MOT
- or go the extra mile to top up your mojo
join a gym i.e. free 10 - 30 days and flirt with the large waves of bubbles in the Jacuzzi, just sit on the waves and count sleep :-)
purchase a bicycle and get some thrills from countless rides
turn temporary bisexual - flip to the other side and get in touch with your femme side
regular daily/weekly gym exercise works wonders
and if all of the above doesn't float your boat:
use what mother nature gave you in front of a good x movie
just stating the facts here if you are not up for bagging the real
thing i.e. a man who is gagging for it night and dad and barks
orders at you 24 x 7 even when you are not in the mood for a shag!

Good Luck getting laid what ever options you decide works for you !

EternalRose Tue 07-May-13 12:48:09

ha! This thread has made me laugh.

mrfrancis82 Wed 08-May-13 16:57:46

I exchanged a few flirty messages with an older woman on here before - it was great but came to an end a while back. Would be happy to do it again with someone and see where it leads. I'm 27.

KittensandKids Wed 08-May-13 17:34:12

Caketurn temporary bisexual - flip to the other side and get in touch with your femme side

Is this even possible ? confused

Maybe it would be easier liking both sexes, well I do but not in the same way...iykwim

Loullybelly is only 30 and gagging on it would maybe like to swap mail with you!

I have name-changed, I'm fine until August and 27 is just too young for me, I need to start dating/talking too men my own age sad

I need to find one tbh. I like to talk for a few months before meeting, May, June July.... Nah I will leave it until June/July. Although the DC go away for 2/3 weeks every July.

Dangerous times

StuffezLaYoni Wed 08-May-13 17:38:42

And being overweight (although im a work in progress) is a bloody good way of seperating the mysogynists from the nice guys.

Just opened this thread and read this comment from darkesteyes and think its absolutely spot on. I'm tentatively doing online dating and am terrified that men will see my relatively nice face pics, then see me in the flesh and run away. Sigh.

BicBiro Wed 08-May-13 18:17:43

I'd a fuck buddy. I just need to get past this stage of 'cant be arsed to look for one..' first. wish one would just drop into my lap grin

BicBiro Wed 08-May-13 18:18:08

I'd like, even.

mrfrancis82 Wed 08-May-13 19:38:21

I'd love to have an FB up to and including her 40's, just to see what it's like. I find older women a bit of a turn on to be honest.

Poohbearandpiglet Wed 08-May-13 20:08:36

So funny to find this thread; I came on to MN to actually start a thread and offload a little as a bit blush today..

Similar to OP, out of a relationship for about 6 months, quite a drawnout breakup so was feeling very sad for a while, but lately have been feeling in need of some fun IYKWIM.
Soooooo, DC were staying at the GPs last night so I could have a night off and I arranged a date (from OD), just a couple of drinks. Date went ok,but neither of us felt a spark I don't think. Anyway on my walk home, I nipped into the local pub as I needed to tell the landlord something and there was a gorgeous guy sitting on his own at the bar (just finished playing some sort of sport).

As I'd had a couple of drinks and I have zero, I mean literally nada tolerance for alcohol and rarely drink, I basically accosted the poor man told him to walk me home!! Then I wouldn't let the poor man leave, so he stayed the night! bloody hell though, I needed that. He was lovely actually and it was great! grin

Seriously though, very out of character to pick up a random guy in the pub, I'm actually very shy (I did check he was single btw!).

So yes..it is possible to um..erm..find someone for that sort of thing.

Darkesteyes Wed 08-May-13 20:53:10

Stuffez if they run away for that reason then they are not worth being with.

And people who are that judgy could also be missing out on an amazing chemistry with someone.
Sexual chemistry ...that spark that happens sometimes is about much more than looks.

Darkesteyes Thu 09-May-13 02:15:04

mr francis what is it about us older ladies that you like. Im just curious. And 40 next month unfortunately

Darkesteyes Thu 09-May-13 02:18:02

Blondie thats a grt post. See if i was to start seeing someone i would want what you describe.
A bit of intelligent conversation and mental stimulation. its about much more than just sex.

mrfrancis82 Thu 09-May-13 09:32:33

Darkest Eyes - It stems from conversations at work. Older ladies tend to talk about more interesting things than X Factor and The Voice, or just the whole reality TV culture, that I despise. Also, older women that I've come across are more confident, comfortable in their own skin, which is also a turn on for me.

Don't get me wrong, I like girls my own age too, but would love to experience someone older.

Blondie1969 Thu 09-May-13 11:36:35

Stuffez - Agree with darkest eyes. If someone is vain enough to go for looks alone you would not be happy or comfortable with them.
You will be amazed what a nice smile or twinkle in the eyes does with regards to getting that spark going.

I can only speak for a bloke in their 40s but over time i have come to realise that looks alone is not enough. If someone projects happiness and feels comfortable then men will ignore the fact if a woman thinks they are overweight.

I suspect that women (and men) who are down about being overweight will come across as down and maybe that stops the sparks flying when they meet someone.

If you want to lose weight then good but rather than (for example) being upset about not being your target weight be happy if you have lost 1lb since you last weighed yourself or be happy that you have only put on a lb despite having two take aways during week and a bottle of wine.

When i separated last year i decided i was slightly overweight. (6 foot four and weighed 14.5 stone with a 37 inch waist). Decided to lose some weight. Started running (or walking with intervals of jogging), eating better. In two months i was down to just under thirteen stone and 33 inch waist. Now i was lucky that i did not need to lose much.
But in that time what helped spur me on (i hate running/jogging) was compliments i got from friends (only one chin rather than two, beer belly gone) and family. Never factored in cost of new clothes but that helped with my confidence/self esteem in terms of buying clothes that fitted rather than were slightly too big or too small because i used to go for sale items.

Men are prats at times and do miss out if they go on looks alone.

KittensandKids Thu 09-May-13 12:17:17

That's very true Blondie, funnily enough a guy pal of mine told me to stop taking pictures when my hair was done and take one first thing in the morning to stop the guys who are jut looking for sex. (no idea why as obviously I look perfect in the morning too) wink

even the best looking people the looks fade, if I could find someone to have a good giggle with I think I would be happy. Or dominoes

<tucks in the low carb lunch anyway>

Darkesteyes Thu 09-May-13 15:31:27

mr francis i cannot stand the whole celebrity culture/reality tv world. I much prefer to talk about deeper things like politics. When it comes to tv i like to watch crime thrillers and mysteries. And i admire talented famous people (actresses and actors like Olivia Colman who was amazing in Broadchurch and Exile and whatever she does really) I dont do soaps at all but people often dont believe that simply because i am female. And i love to read too.

Darkesteyes Thu 09-May-13 15:38:50

Blondie you make some good points. About a month ago i cut out all the bad stuff including my beloved pasta and potatos.
I have fish and vegtables in the evening instead.
I dont have scales in the house because id never be off the bloody things.

But i have noticed a difference already. Clothes are looser and i nearly had an embarrasing incident because of it yesterday. So just feeling that bit more comfortable and knowing that i am trying incredibly hard and doing something about it makes me feel a whole lot better.

Marymoo73 Thu 09-May-13 15:51:42

I've been following this thread with interest, been on my own 18 months now with 2 DCs. Simply dont have the time, inclination or energy for another "proper" relationship, but am missing the intimacy/sex...think I will have a dabble on POF this weekend smile

Fuckitthatlldo Thu 09-May-13 15:52:01

Eh? Being overweight separates the misogynists from the nice guys?

So only misogynists are attracted to slim women? I'll give up then shall I?

hmm

Darkesteyes Thu 09-May-13 16:56:12

I didnt mean it like that Fuck It.

I have yet to hear OI You slim bitch as i walk past a pub.
Eleven years ago when i was 21 stone (i ended up losing ten stone at SW back then and am nowhere near my old big weight now) i used to hear plenty of OI You fat bitch or OI You fat cow though.

Thats all i meant.

Fuckitthatlldo Thu 09-May-13 17:19:25

Sorry Darkest - perhaps a slightly prickly reaction on my part.

I do think though, that if a man is a misogynist, he tends not to discriminate. Misogynists hate all women. The men who shouted those vile comments at you didn't have any respect for slim women either.

I hope you get laid by someone lovely smile

Darkesteyes Thu 09-May-13 17:55:03

Fuck It thats exactly what i think too. They tend to hate all women and if its not weight then they usually find fault with something else. No need to apologise. Hope you find a wonderful lover too smile

Darkesteyes Tue 14-May-13 23:34:59

I seem to want sex more and more as i approach 40. After having a (solo) orgasm blush on Monday morning i seem to want another one.

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