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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Sun 24-Mar-13 12:23:14

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. smile

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese wink and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you smile

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon smile

determinedma Sun 24-Mar-13 13:52:12

wa hay - first to bag a seat grin
goes back to old thread before mouse finds out

PurpleWolfe Sun 24-Mar-13 21:26:51

You are sooo naughty Ma! You is going to be in biiig trouble when Mouse finds out!! xx

kateissotired Sun 24-Mar-13 22:22:28

Hello all, I think this is the thread for me right now. I have lost a relationship because of my drinking, and I have just lost a friend because of it too. Feel utterly ashamed. I am just been looking for local meetings.

PurpleWolfe Sun 24-Mar-13 23:06:01

Katie You are in the right place for support, empathy and advice. The old thread still has 20 odd post to go before everyone jumps on here so, either sit tight and wait or re-post your message on the old thread (Marvellous Mouse is very strict with us all!). Everyone will be on here sometime tomorrow.

So sad to hear you've lost relationships because of the evil that is 'booze'. Want to tell us more? Are you drinking every day or a binge drinker? No one will judge you on here, you are safe to tell us anything. xxxx

PurpleWolfe Sun 24-Mar-13 23:09:41

( Ma Can you write me a 'Please excuse Purple, she had to post early on the new thread because she couldn't help herself' note for Mouse pleeeeease? She'll listen to you!)

venusandmars Mon 25-Mar-13 07:56:12

ma and purple you were very naughty posting on here, but I've filled up the old thread now, so we're all ready to go with this one...

kate welcome (and you're forgiven for posting here early - especially since you went back to the other thread too). How are you feeling this morning? What plans and support have you got for today?

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 08:02:00

Sad to see Gazza being 'trotted out' for our 'entertainment' on Daybreak this morning. Poor bloke. sad

guggenheim Mon 25-Mar-13 10:36:58

Morning lovely babes,

My agency haven't called and I'm having a much needed DAY OFF! all by myself, no children,no dh, just me grin I love teaching but there are times when 30 naughty reception infants can drive a woman to think long and hard about the wine section at sainsbos.(I don't actually go there, just think about it these days)

Morning all!

katie you are one awesome babe, you clearly want to get well and kick the booze- well done. As for your friend, she may be angry with you now but with time she may (just may) feel ready to be friendly again. Enjoy the meeting, hope you find lots of support.

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 10:59:18

oh HERE you all are. I thought the Bus had left without me.

privatepurple I'm confused you said you had 3 kids, two wee boys and an 11-year-old girl

But then you said your 'eldest son aged 31' ??? <frantically trying to read back and make sure I haven't missed any posts>

And by the way, I did NOT eat the green Opal Fruits! That is a scurrilous LIE posted by Someone With a Guilty Conscience (*ma*)

Lemonylemon Mon 25-Mar-13 11:11:28

Morning All!

Well, is the sidecar going to be big enough for us all? My big bum keeps being shoved here, there, everywhere grin

Purps Coming to terms with parental failure is a big thing. You end up grieving what you should have had, and for what you did have. I haven't had hugs from my mum since I was 12 months old. In fact, and I'm really, really ashamed to say this, but I have problems with her now. I don't want to kiss her. I didn't want to deal with the mess that is her alcoholism.

She's now dry, but takes a multitude of tablets and really, I can't have a decent conversation with her anymore, and to be honest, I have a very tough time reconciling all that with the person that I think I am.

As I've mentioned before, it would seem that an awful lot of us on this thread have/had relationship problems with our parents. It just seems to be a common denominator.... sad

ma Glad your DD is ok.

Welcome katie

<<Waves to everyone else>>

curryeater Mon 25-Mar-13 11:20:16

Hi Katie, welcome
Hello everyone else.

Not good last night: drank a lot. Probably about 18 units total last week which is really sliding out of control again.
No hangovers, no stupid arguments, but god I need to pull this back into line.

guggenheim Mon 25-Mar-13 11:21:10

(whispers. It was joey, y'know what ate all them green ones)

'lo there lemony The weird thing about bumpy childhoods is how hard it is to move on from, I'm in my 40's, obvs I only look 21, and I still dwell on it.I do feel that I'll be able to move on from it when I'm sober a little longer.Yes, an alkie parent is a very 'special' kind of bumpy. Rather like being caught between a rock and a hard place, alcohol was a bad influence in my childhood but I've ended up with a drink problem as an adult. Hmm.. not a cycle I want to continue with. smile

kateissotired Mon 25-Mar-13 11:23:53

Hello all, thank you for the welcomes. I have got the week off work which I am not sure is the best idea right now, but I am planning to do a bit of pampering and trying not to panic. I have a friend coming over later and we are going to choose a meeting to go to (she already goes to a couple a week). I live with the good friend and his gf and they are blanking me. I think a fresh start might be needed, a move up North to be near my parents or something.

venusandmars Mon 25-Mar-13 11:56:21

A fresh start can sound like a nice idea, but it may also leave you lonely at a time when you need people around you.

That's tough about your good friend and his gf, and it seems unkind and not very supportive, but I also know that my family and friends had heard me over and over and over again say that I was going to stop / cut down / whatever. The only way to demonstrate that you're determined to change is to get on with it. If they won't speak could you write them a note acknowledging how bad things had got, and telling them what you're doing to sort out your alcohol problem?

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 12:16:38

Morning all. smile

Yes, Joey I have an older son. It's not a happy story. I left his Dad when he was 3 (I was 23) and ended up in a tiny hamlet in very Welsh Wales. We weren't wanted in the hamlet and the general consensus was the council house should have got to a local Welsh person. Since my father lived in the county, this was the authority that had 'responsibility' for rehousing me. I suffered quite badly from depression and things weren't great. Strangely enough, wine wasn't a problem then. Anyway, we muddled on until I got a council house exchange. A mother and her grown up son had 'The Good Life' visions of living in Wales and wanted my house and half acre garden (I used to 'foster' a local farmer's sheep (and rams in the winter) just to keep the feckin' grass down). They had a flat in Aylesbury. I agreed to the swap without even seeing it - I was that desperate to get away! (They contacted me six months later wanting to swap back! No way!)

Turned out to be a fab flat, first place that ever felt like home to me. My son, however, got increasingly more difficult to cope with as he hit puberty. I tried so bloody hard to get some help. A friend, who had been through similar with her son, said the only time anyone would listen was after the police had got involved. She was right. After he got caught nicking silly stuff from WH Smiths, we had 'family' counselling for 2 years. Didn't help. One particular day, after he was threatening to run off again, I sat against the front door because that was the only way to stop him and keep him safe. I could hear him totally trashing his bedroom. I rang the doctors. What did I think he would do? I don't know, maybe some sort of injection, something, anything! He said he'd contact the families liaison people and they'd 'be in touch'. By this age he was taller than me, he would refuse to shower, stand in doorways and not let me pass, run out the door and not return until the police brought him back. One day, aged 14, he came home and I had to take him to task about a problem to do with money. He just wouldn't speak to me. In the end, he phoned his Dad (who hadn't bothered with him for years) and said he wanted to go and live with him in Portsmouth. We all thought he would be gone for a week and then come home - but, no. Looking back, I suffered a sort of break down. It was the worst thing for my son. Firstly, as he fell out with his Dad almost straight away, he was in a children's home (he was adamant that he didn't want to come back to me) and then he ended up in assisted housing, got arrested for being caught in a stolen car and the list goes on. I tried so hard to keep contact with him. I would phone every week and every week he refused to talk to me (he's since apologised for that but at least he knew I was trying). I'm totally convinced that he had been suffering from depression from quite early on - about 12, I think, but I couldn't get anyone to listen to me. During this time I travelled the 200 odd miles to attend social services meetings about him - every time.

The phone call from the police about the stolen car issue had me in the car and heading for Portsmouth with XP driving. We scooped him up, paid his over-due expenses and brought him back to live with us. Bought him clothes, fed him up, helped him sort benefits, job interviews etc. It was fine for a few weeks then he started getting up later, leaving his room a tip, staying up 'til all hours. He was offered a job on the local newspaper - we had a special dinner, so pleased! He turned up on Day 1 and told them that 'it wasn't for him'. Then, the police came round. He was arrested for causing criminal damage to one of our neighbours front door. I was in bits. I'd never been 'that side' of a police station before. Had to watch as he had his finger prints taken. The police officers were so nice to me. I was bewildered.

Since all this, I've tried to be there, even visited him in prison. (something else to do with a stolen car but, as he was over 18 at the time nobody would tell me exactly what it was about) which was possibly the most degrading thing I have ever done. I felt like a criminal myself. Had him and his girlfriend to stay ('the weekend' turned into 3 weeks!) after they both got kicked out because he was found in bed with one of the employees (this girl) of the sheltered housing he was living in. She was a couple of years older. Then found out he'd been lying and still had his room waiting for him, it was only her who was chucked out. Bailed him out, listened to phone calls at 3am etc. Tried to encourage him to get some help.

Loads of other stuff,court summons, bailiffs (for him!), letters from ex-girlfriends, goodness knows how many grandchildren. Feel guilty as hell about it all. I tried so hard. This was the most important job of my life - and I fucked up. He tells me he's been diagnosed with Bi-polar. I don't know what to believe any more. I can only hope he's getting the proper care. Sporadic contact from him, at best, right now.

There I go again, me, me, me. Sorry. xx

Lemony I can't watch anything with Dad's 'being there' or hugging daughters. x

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 12:21:45

(Just re-read, sorry, my post is a little jumbled. x)

kateissotired Mon 25-Mar-13 13:02:48

Thank you venus, I did write a text and he has not replied so I think you are right, the next step is to actually do it. I am worried that news of this will get out to all my friends and they will all start to blank me. They all know I drink too much, I am always the one who goes a bit too far etc and ends up making a fool of herself and then feeling shamed and anxious for the next two days

determinedma Mon 25-Mar-13 13:08:50

Oh purple what a lot you have had to deal with in life. My heart goes out to you, and my admiration for your bravery at putting it down here. i wish I could give you a great big hug and bear the burden a wee while for you.
I can't bear the ad - for a car I think - with the dad and daughter and the daughter is going away to university. Makes me weep.
It sounds as if there is nothing more you can do for your son, other than keep the channel of communication open as best you can.
Here, have a green Opal Fruit. I keep a secret stash so joey cant get them

Lemonylemon Mon 25-Mar-13 13:11:15

Purps YOU DID NOT FUCK UP. It's all nature v nurture. Your DS sounds a bit like mine. You end up banging your head against a brick wall. All you can do is be there for them. In the end, they are responsible for their lives.

HUG {{{{HUGS}}}} for you. You've really, really been up against it.

babyjane1 Mon 25-Mar-13 13:14:40

Hi babes I'm back, purple I wish I could give you a big hug right now, you are so nice and yet life has put you through so much shit. I have been absent because I had a mini nervous breakdown, won't go into detail but had a few very dark weeks. I have been drinking stupid amounts but I know now I have to stop, my 13 year old dd looks at me with disappointment and my 2 year old deserves better. My
Family and friends are worried sick about me and they deserve
Better too. So here I am again and I hope you will support me on what I hope will be the time I batter the wine witches head in for the last time x x

Lemonylemon Mon 25-Mar-13 13:39:25

baby Good to see you back. Not so good that you've been having a really hard time. Is there anything we can help with? xx

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 13:43:21

Ma, Lemony and Baby Thank you. I'm in tears just now but it's just because I've never found this level of understanding and support before. I hesitated before posting about DS. I didn't want you all to feel badly of me.

Ma I know the ad you are talking about and yes, bloody gets to me every time. Every girl (and boy, but, somehow more so daughters) should have a Dad that is there for her, to scoop her up when things are shit, to tell her she is loved when she feels the world is against her, to be her protector. The only positive side is that I appear to accidentally have chosen a Dad for my daughter that will do just that for her. Thank you for the hugs. <ommmm nommm nommm. Green Opal Fruits! Such a treat! Pokes tongues out at Joey in a nice way!>

Lemony Thank you so much for the hugs. I appreciate it so much. How old is your DS? The few friends that know about this have said that he is old enough to be responsible for his own life/choices now. But it's hard not to feel guilty.

Baby Glad to see you back and thanks for the hugs. Stay with us Lovely. Tell us about your mini breakdown? Of course we'll support you, you Goose! xx

I've just sent DS yet another message on FB. I can't, unfortunately, trust him with my address right now. He got caught on a train without a ticket and gave them my old address (that he's never lived at) as his address so the court summons and bailiffs turned up at my door (before I moved). He has my mobile number but I don't want to give him my land-line because he's called, drunk or on some other substance, at crazy times and woken everyone up and denied he's called me the next day (despite leaving a message saying it was him!) I wish I could do something better for him. He's like a lost soul. sad

Lemonylemon Mon 25-Mar-13 13:51:36

Purps My son is 15, nearly 16. He's not yet on the "naughty boy list". He does the blocking of doorways, smoking, lying, stealing money from me etc. At heart he's a good boy, as yours is. I've brought him up to have standards etc. but you know, at the end of it all, you can lead a horse to water.... I just don't know the reasons why it happens. I think that maybe they just can't deal with their emotions.

So sorry to hear that your son is just that little more lost..... x

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 14:05:28

Thanks Lemony. The blocking the doorway stuff is so aggressive, don't you think? They get to a size where you can't pick them up and move them physically and they figure it out. I felt I was being bullied - and I'm no shrinking violet. He/we desperately needed proper help and support - but couldn't get it. And, yes, had the lying, stealing, smoking stuff too. If he ever went round anyone's house they were always so impressed at how well behaved, polite and helpful he was. Tell me to 'mind my own' but do you have a DH/DP? I think DS seriously missed having a good male role model. xx

Lemonylemon Mon 25-Mar-13 14:13:44

Purps Sadly, no DH/DP. My Dad died when DS was 6.5, DS's Dad died when DS was a month off of 7, then I met OH a couple of years later (DS's Dad and I split when DS was 2.5), then OH died when DS was 10 and DD was born 3 months later. Then DS's paternal grandfather died last October. So a lot of loss of male relatives. For this reason, I sent DS to an all boys school to get a balance of male/female influence. Big mistake. He has hated it there every day of his 5 years. He likes female company. I do sometimes feel like I'm being bullied by him, and like you, am quite a strong person.

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 14:32:47

Bloody hell, Lemony you and your family have been through the mill! Poor you. I think the bullying thing is that we wouldn't put up with that shit from anyone else but because they are our boys, and we love them, we 'pull our punches', maybe feel (in my case) responsible? If it's any consolation, my DS went to a normal comprehensive secondary school and didn't thrive there either. Got excluded for trashing the art room with some of his dubious friends. Hugs xxxx

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 14:35:25

oh gosh privatepurple sorry I only asked because I was confused and thought I'd missed something. So sorry to hear all of your troubles, you really have been through it. And how could we blame YOU ? You did everything you could and more. It really is no wonder sometimes you feel alone in the world, especially if you have no close family to lean on. You can always find support on here, I know its not the same as in real life but at least there's usually somebody about even in the middle of the night. I'm sorry for bringing it up - here, have my Opal Fruits smile

babyjane how are you doing? how are the bowels?

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 15:50:46

Don't be sorry Joey, all this stuff has to be sorted through, one way or another. I suppose I blame myself so I think other people will too. I always wonder what I should have/could have done differently. He ended up with a defective parent (due to my own parents (ad infinitum)) but I did try and get help for us. The sense of despair when you can see everything sliding in the wrong direction but can't get anyone to help. I even went to Social Services myself (hence the family counselling) but the help wasn't effective. Again, don't be sorry, my Lovely. xxxx

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 16:12:27

(PS The Opal Fruits is luveryly! Ta! xxx)

Hey there babes, Just home from work and thought I'd nearly missed the bus....phew glad I caught it....any opal fruits left?!
Welcome Kate smile
Going to read back over thread, now I'm not panicking! xx

Mouseface Mon 25-Mar-13 20:10:41

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I have not caught up, too much going on and my head is so sore with it all after a day at school and various other things that I've got going on just no, Nemo stuff, my own pain and my own rehabilitation.... Sorry.

I wanted to post to Purple smile

I don't think I'm hiding on here. More, I think, it's proving to be the 'stabiliser wheels' on my bicycle for the launch into RL. A safe, tentative step into trusting people. - You put it much better than me, and you're right of course. You're no long hiding, I'm sorry, you are spreading your wings and feeling your way slowly, forward, which I love. smile I'm sorry for saying you were hiding here, it's not what I meant. smile

So, after the day from Satan, and of so very emotionally testing, I'm going to go and try to eat something. Nemo is yet to be in bed. Life is getting tougher by the day with all the 'we needs' from Nemo's school.

Maybe be back later, hey to Katie xx

determinedma Mon 25-Mar-13 20:12:29

Leans out of sidecar and scoops up baby. What's been happening to you?
Glad to have you back.
lemony sorry to hear about the difficulties with your son. Ds had HUGE behavioural problems when he was small, then it all settled down, but now he is 11 and puberty round the corner, I dread it all starting again.
purple you are totes amaze balls. Seriously.
Now, I have some GOOD NEWS at last. Dd has been asked to audition for a show in the fringe this year and....drum an unconditional for Stirling University for September! Just heard today. She is lit up like a Christmas tree, for the first time in a while.

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 20:31:04

<Squeezes Mouse so hard her pips squeak!> Luffs you Mouse Sorry you've had such a shitty day. Hope you find some peaceful sleep tonight Lovely. xxxxx

Ma Thank you for your lovely comment but I don't feel like I deserve them. Brilliant news about DD! How amazing! So pleased that she's so happy. Hugs to you and DD. xxxxx

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 20:34:23

*s (as in comment*s*)!!!

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 20:35:35

purple 'he ended up with a defective parent' - huh? Where was his father?! Why are you blaming yourself when you were the ONLY one who tried, and kept on trying, and put so much of yourself into helping him? You describe years of social services meetings, and school trauma and police bail and prison visits, when many people would have just washed their hands of him.

Don't you DARE call yourself defective or I will take back my opal fruits !

CocktailQueen Mon 25-Mar-13 20:35:53

Hi all
I'm really having problems. I have been drinking most of a bottle of wine a day most days a week. Every so often I stop for a couple of days but then start again. I'm not feeling great - I am anxious anyway but I feel quite shaky and nervous. My hands shake. I have convinced myself I have liver cancer/cirrhosis and I'm really ill but am too scared to go to the doctor. I am too ashamed to confide in my husband too. Can anyone help? What should I do?

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 20:37:30

ma that's great news about your DD - you must be so proud of her

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 20:43:09

Welcome cocktail and well done for being brave and making the first step in posting. Is there a reason you haven't told your DH? It must be hard bottling it up, especially if you're worried about your health. Could you talk to your GP?

Different things work for different people, but it might be a start to obtain some support, whether from AS or a trusted friend or health professional.

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 20:58:23

Joey Thank you Sweetpea, I hadn't really thought of it that way. <And please don't take away my Opal Fruits!> xxxxxxx

Hi Cocktail Can you consider talking to your GP?

kateissotired Mon 25-Mar-13 21:05:19

Hello again, I have nearly done day 2. I have not had a day 2 in months. Thanks for the welcome and the space to write this safely.

determinedma Mon 25-Mar-13 21:08:50

Welcome cocktail. No-one will judge you part of a bottle a night here too at the moment.
Kate well done on day 2
mouse sleep well, dear thing

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 21:09:02

Well done Katie Any news from your friend?

determinedma Mon 25-Mar-13 21:18:26

purps how are you?

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 21:41:27

Doing OK thanks Ma (but not on the Bus just now). Slowly working through stuff that's been my own personal burden for years and feeling lighter for it. I need to transfer some of this stuff to RL help but, for now, this is the best thing since sliced bread for me. Someone who has never been able to let down my guard. Someone who has needed (in my own mind) to present myself as capable, confident and strong. Here, I can trust you lot to listen and understand.

One day, when I had had to moved back to Wales and my Dad was uncharacteristically driving me somewhere for some reason, he said "I'm so proud of you. You've done all this (sorted life, house, finances blah) on your own". The inner me was screaming "What the fuck choice have I had!? Where were you when I needed you?! Why didn't you stick up for me when my step mother was being cruel? Why didn't you speak up when she told her daughter that she would have to have a brace 'Just like Purple' if she didn't clean her teeth properly (my Dad was a dentist!), Where were you after my car crash. Why didn't you come to my passing out parade??!!" but I just smiled and nodded. Tit! I think, now, I would say those things but the old bugger is 80+ so probably wouldn't even hear me!

curryeater Mon 25-Mar-13 21:51:07

Huge hugs to purple.
Welcome cocktail
All best to all babes.

CocktailQueen Mon 25-Mar-13 22:02:25

Thanks all smile MY dh is having a hard time at the mo - his brother has just died, and he can't cope with more stress. I am good at being in denial. If I made an appt with my GP, what would they do? what tests? And I don't want it on my medical records either sad

kateissotired Mon 25-Mar-13 22:03:53

Huge hugs to you purple. I have been doing a bit of London sight seeing and went to the pictures today, I was terrified about coming home, and when I did I got blanked. Seeing my counsellor for an initial chat tomorrow so I feel quite positive, as well as nervous.

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 22:43:20

Cocktail I totally understand about your reluctance to have stuff on your medical records but, sometimes, it gets to a point where it looks better that you've looked for help than been 'caught out' and been forced to get help. You can ask for your conversation not to be noted down. If they don't prescribe anything, I think this is workable. It's not as bad as you think. Sending strength for you and your DH.

Thanks Katie Give your friends some time, Sweetpea. If you can show them that you are serious in your attempts to change, if they are true friends, they will come round. They just need a bit of proof. Well done you. Good luck tomorrow.

Thanks Curry Want one of my Opal Fruits?!

Morning, welcome cocktail. Agree with what purple says that you can ask for the conversation not to be noted down. The gp can give you details of all alcohol services & once you contact them this is all done in confidence & nothing on your record.
Hugs purple, you've had so much to deal with all of your life, it's little wonder you've turned to alcohol to help.
MA that's fab news about your dd, hope that things keep improving for you all.
Day 45 Alcohol free. I'm starting to feel with my ds being such a handful I may just abstain until he moves out!!
Waves to all babes x

P.s mouse so sorry things so rubbish. Sending a big hug to you. You are coping with so much day in day out. You are one amazing brave babe xx

babyjane1 Tue 26-Mar-13 09:00:51

Morning babes, welcomekate and cocktail, this group of warm couragious women will help you change your life, stay close and keep posting, we can all help each other. purple I admire and respect you a great deal, you sound so gentle and kind in your posts after all the hardship you could be lying in an alleyway with a needle sticking out of you but your not, your still fighting, still helping others and I hope a nice, kind man comes and sweeps you off your feet!! Well I completed my
First day 1 in a very long time and it was fine, it's nice to remember how a programme ends and not to need painkillers before you even think
About getting up, feeling hopeful!!! X x x ps before I previewed this message I had said contagious in stead of courageous, it made me laugh out loud x

curryeater Tue 26-Mar-13 09:28:44

Good to see you babyjane.
Purple, I would love an opal fruit - lob a pink one over please. Your posts are blowing me away at the moment.

Cocktail, there is a whole bit in one of the self-help-booze books I read about keeping things off medical records. Will have a glance through at lunchtime and see what I can summarise for you. Basically if you can afford to go private, you can keep it off your records, and if you can't, there are other things you can do. I will find out.

Kate - well done on day 2!

Mouse - hope you have a better day.

Big kisses to everyone xxx

CocktailQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 09:30:21

Thanks so much everyone for the lovely welcome. Will read some more posts on this thread so I can contribute.

I'd like the GP to do a liver function test - can that be kept off my record? Or can I get that done privately?

Mouseface Tue 26-Mar-13 10:14:48

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Welcome Cocktail - yes, you can get them done privately BUT as Purple and others have said, to show that you are actively looking for help and support is far better than doing things in the background as such.

I totally (hand on heart) understand the 'not wanting people to know - ever' fear that comes with seeking help for alcoholism but you know it's real because you're here sweetheart smile and that step alone is a huge one to take. The difference between us knowing and those in your RL soon becomes one and the same thing, it might not happen soon, it might not happen for years or it might happen tomorrow.

Your GP has to respect your wishes, but just by talking to them, just by going and asking a few questions, you might see things clearer and so make a more informed decision on what you want to do about your drinking and how.

You're here, and yes we're not a REAL LIFE group of face to face people, but we are all in the same boat of uncertainty aren't we? We all carry the shame of days gone by, lies, hiding things, doubt, fear, failures...... alcohol is a great crutch, it supports you through the toughest times in life, it helps you forget the most horrific things that you've done, have happened to you, or others.

Except it's not is it? Otherwise we wouldn't be here. We'd be getting on with life, just like the rest of the people in the world, just like our friends, just like our family who don't use drink to stabilise.

Don't use drink to balance our day, don't use drink to hide the deepest, darkest torment and twisted terror that lies at the bottom of the bottle. Once the bottle is empty, once there is no more, what then?

Stay with us, sit, read and post to us. We're all very different people and have very different lives, but the one common denominator here is alcohol abuse.

Ma - hope life with you is calm today.

Purple - your realisations are amazing, you are really starting to understand how you got here, it's so emotional for me to read, I see a lot of myself in you, and I feel the same pain as you did/do. I hope that you continue to release this run of de-cluttering you've got going on smile

Off for a shower. Be back soon xxx

babyjane1 Tue 26-Mar-13 10:42:56

mouse lovely post, your awesome hope your feeling better today! X x x

ruralreynard Tue 26-Mar-13 11:35:03

just checking in.
Big wave to old friends and new babes.

Been drinking lots and lots too much!!
lots of bad and sad things to deal with in RL but starting to get my head around things.
Ma great news about DDsmile
Day 1 today hmm

aliasjoey Tue 26-Mar-13 12:20:53

I came on to say to cocktail that the GP can refer you to counselling services, check if there are any other medical conditions etc. Alcoholism is an addiction, it's like any other disease, sometimes you need help. It sounds like you are struggling to admit it, but it can't always be cured just with willpower and an app on your iphone. smile

It's understandable that you don't want to burden your DH at the moment. But it can feel like a huge struggle to face on your own.

Anyway, then I read mouses post, and she's said everything much better than I could! As always, I am blown away by how you answer every new Babe that boards the Bus, you take the time to read and respond personally to each individual person, and your posts are always SO supportive and kind.

Here, you can have the rest of my Opal Fruits (if there are any left <glares at ma >) Three cheers for mousie !

babyjane1 Tue 26-Mar-13 12:44:41

Hip hip hooray x x x

aliasjoey Tue 26-Mar-13 14:13:23

babyjane how are you doing? how are your bowels holding up?

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 14:37:29

Can I join? I feel crap as I know I'm an alcoholic but no one else does so they enable me. I am getting worse and am worried that I will spiral further...

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 14:38:41

Oh and I have all over itching and sweats the day after which worries me beyond words sad

obrigada Tue 26-Mar-13 14:41:09

Hi babes, checking in, still not drinkingsmile

kateissotired Tue 26-Mar-13 14:47:18

I am back on annual leave after a mornings work, I feel nervous about going home, really anxious actually, as I am still being blanked. Last night was vile. It is on my objectives to move out as this is really making me panic. Counsellor tonight though so that is a start.

kateissotired Tue 26-Mar-13 14:50:12

Hello fuzzy, I get the booze sweats the next day too, not the itching though, just a general feeling of imminent panic. Hope ou are ok

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 14:59:09

Got the panic now sad the itching worries me, could be a sign of liver disease but even typing that makes me feel like bursting into tears...

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 15:07:47

How are you feeling now Katie?

babyjane1 Tue 26-Mar-13 15:14:01

joey thanks for asking after me, my bowels are fine at the moment, it's
My depression that has crippled me of late, the worse I felt, the more I drank and the next day shakes and sweats made me more depressed and my ability to cope with the housework, kids and day to day life diminished. Anyway a few days at my parents and some heart to hearts with my nearest and dearest has put things back on track, the drinking bit is down to me and me alone!! fuzzy and kate we have all experienced what you are going through, I have been gradually cutting down but 2 weeks ago I was sinking 2 bottles of wine every night and only
More wine the next night could stop the sweating, shaking, nausea and sheer anxiety. Every little domestic issue became enormous, I felt I lost complete control of everything but it was just the depressive effects of booze. The advice I have got on here on the past was amazing, drinks lots of water and sugary drinks, get out for a walk, have a relaxing bath and get some vitamin b and eat nice healthy clean foods, I promise both of you, these basics steps and the support of the angels here and I promise everything will look better in just a day or 2, stay strong and a big hug
To both of you!! obrigada well done you, how long is that? Xxx

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 15:33:49

Thanks Babyjane1 - feel really embarrassed (think lots of random FB messages) and depressed and I want to be a better mum who's not always hungover and a see if my marriage can be saved, just need to find the courage to tell my husband as he will always offer me wine. Wine takes the edge of my anxiety ironically..

kateissotired Tue 26-Mar-13 15:41:36

Fuzzy it might be the opposite way with anxiety and wine, it took me ages (years) to understand this. The wine led to massive anxiety, so to take the edge off, I would have wine. I got an email from a friend earlier who had heard what had gone on and offered support in getting better. Which initially freaked me out but now I feel more determined.

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 16:03:35

I agree Kate, it has dawned on me the wine causes all my problems. Well most. Now all I have to do it never touch it again. How daunting sad

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 16:04:15

I am determined too. Today.

curryeater Tue 26-Mar-13 16:35:19

Some quick notes about "off the record" treatment:


Your GP can help and can often be the best place to start.
If you do not declare a drink problem it can invalidate certain kinds of insurance.
technically you should declare a drink problem to the DVLA; but if you do they may take away your licence

If you go to a private clinic for help, they may ask your GP for your records but will not nec. supply any information to your GP - the GP can only record what you tell them so this is one way of getting treatment without it going on your record

State-funded help is harder to keep off your records. But there are various agencies who do residential and non-residential treatment; but they will usually involve your GP

Cocktail, do you mind me asking why you particularly do not want this on your record - work or something? Because remember that your GP cannot reveal anything about you socially, or anything like that.

Ma, forgot to say - thrilled by the news about your daughter - that really made me happy.

Fuzzy - well done on the determination. hang in there. Don't google your symptoms!

babyjane - sounds like you have been having a horrible time

obrigada, well done

babyjane1 Tue 26-Mar-13 16:36:41

fuzzy I know exactly what you mean, my dh is very laid back and never really noticed (probably did but was too scare to address it) I have a very stressful life, have 2dd's, 13 and 2 and I'm 41 with Crohn's disease, I also suffered horrendous post natal depression. So for all these reasons he has been cutting me slack and enabling my drinking but now he has seen its more than just a "phase". Please don't think in terms of never drinking again, it's too big to contemplate, just think I won't drink today, then
Tomorrow and if you have some one night, just start again
The next day, baby steps. Alcohol starts off helping the anxiety and when it's got a grip of you it turns on you and makes things seem much worse. I'm only on day 2 but I can pick up the panic in your post and
I promise a few days of sobriety and being kind to yourself and you'll see things will get better. kate if your Friends are friends worth having they will forgive and support you, it's early days x

aliasjoey Tue 26-Mar-13 16:45:34

babyjane so you have only been on the Bus a few months and already you're picking up tactics like ODAAT (One Day At a Time) and sharing them with new passengers! That's fantastic!

SnowdropBlues Tue 26-Mar-13 16:59:34

Sorry to barge in like this (current status on drinking: not for a few months!) but I was reading this and was really upset: can you really not talk to your GP about it? In discussion with mine at start of year I said I drank 25 units one week, huge increase at a time of stress then stopped. I was horrified to find out that was recorded! What does that effect? I'm really annoyed with her especially as that was not what the appointment was about

curryeater Tue 26-Mar-13 17:03:48

Snowdrop, don't worry! Of course you can talk to your GP. I doubt your GP batted an eye at that. Don't worry. It doesn't affect anything.

SnowdropBlues Tue 26-Mar-13 17:05:54

Sorry, actually I'm really upset! But what is the impact of her writing that down? I wasn't addicted and I didn't require help, I don't understand?? Thanks Curry cries

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 17:17:51

Thanks babyjane1! I need to do this, been in denial for too long. Never again is too huge and panics me so I will take every day at a time. I need to. Tell my husband and ask him to not bring drink into the house for at least a while. It's a big ask but I hope he helps. He thinks I take drinking too far ie passing out etc so he might be pleased. He worries about my safety. I'm a bit accident prone when drunk..

curryeater Tue 26-Mar-13 17:18:06

Snowdrop, actually, I think nothing (no impact)

If you lie to an insurer about how much you drink they can check with your GP and your insurance is invalid (you have not done this)
If you suspected of neglecting your dcs perhaps because of an alcohol problem, SS can ask your GP about this (you do not neglect your kids, there is no reason for anyone to ask)
Same with driving and DVLA - if you lie to the DVLA, and the GP knows different, and they check with the GP, it might matter - this does not apply to you
If it is relevant to your job and an employer or potential employer asks your GP, he or she may disclose what you have told them (or may not)


drinking 25 units one week is not a drink problem, so there is nothing to "reveal" about you - none of the above matters

kateissotired Tue 26-Mar-13 17:26:29

I am doing the one day at a time, I feel a bit cheeky saying that as it is only day 3. I am going to focus on getting and feeling better and if my friends can support me they will. I do not want to belittle the friendship but I need to focus on the counsellor and me and the meeting on Thursday.

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 26-Mar-13 18:09:51

Btw I was on here exactly a year ago, Lolabelle was my old username. Some of you guys helped me so much but I chose to ignore the problem for another year. Re-read this thread for last Easter and its inspired me! I want my weekends back to do stuff with my kids and my self respect back. Have a cut lip and have no idea why and fell into a chair on Saturday night and woke up with a swollen bruised area. I'll leave where I was swollen to your imaginations but put it this way, sex was of the menu for a few days grin

CocktailQueen Tue 26-Mar-13 20:48:42

Curryeater asked: 'Cocktail, do you mind me asking why you particularly do not want this on your record - work or something? Because remember that your GP cannot reveal anything about you socially, or anything like that.'

Because it makes me feel like a failure. It's one thing being overweight - for example - and not being able to say no to a biscuit or cake. But in my mind it's a much, much worse thing not being able to say no to another glass of wine, and that's what makes me feel so ashamed. And I don't want people to know.

Mouse - thank you so much for your lovely post.

determinedma Tue 26-Mar-13 21:36:35

rural good to see you. What's been happening? Are you still with dh or free? I worry about you - I hear the echo of me in a lot of what you don't say....
My bro is here to watch the footy and drinking wine. All under control of course, all fine.....* bites quivering lip* ...what can I say?
<opens large packet of Opal fruits and removes all the green ones before handing them round>

curryeater Tue 26-Mar-13 21:45:36

CocktailQueen, you are not a failure.
If you do not have huge practical barriers to fessing up to the GP, I think you should, because I think honesty (to yourself first, and to someone else trustworthy irl) is important in this process.

I write down in a notebook every Monday the units I had the week before and some Mondays - like yesterday - I don't like it. but since I made this a habit it has been a lot, lot less. the honesty itself works. The numbers I would have had to write in December would have been shocking. But I wasn't owning up to it, so I kept doing it.

Do you know your GP? Do you like him or her?

Reasons to see your GP:

If you drink a lot, medical supervision might be important to cut down.
If there is an underlying reason why you over-drink (self-medicating anxiety or something like that) the GP might be able to get you alternative help.
The GP will not judge or say "go on it's just a glass of wine" like you might find socially.
The GP is free! And confidential!
The GP has seen it all before and is not emotionally invested in you like your friends and family, which can make it hard to tell the truth.
Talking to someone irl can be the most liberating thing - like a weight off your shoulders. Talking itself is a way of making a change and making you feel better.

At least think about it - you sound very alone

curryeater Tue 26-Mar-13 21:49:26

My second sales-spiel of the day is about this book:

It's a book with an audio-book that comes with it which takes you through 8 weeks of guided meditations.
I have not completed it (though I have had it a year I keep getting tripped up and having to go back to the beginning).
This is a great help for the anxious rat-in-a-maze stressy thinking which calls the wine witch. I really recommend it.

curryeater Tue 26-Mar-13 21:50:07

Thinking of you with your brother, Ma. Enjoy those opal fruits and don't get too wired on those delicious E numbers.

aliasjoey Tue 26-Mar-13 22:01:05

cocktail what do you worry will happen if you tell someone? What exactly are you afraid of?

That they will criticise you? Look down on you? (Honestly a GP would not do that)
That they will run tests?
That it will go in your record and other people could see it?
That you will have to face up to it and start making changes?
That you won't be able to change, and then you'll feel even worse

Sorry to ask so many questions, I'm just trying to understand why you're reluctant to tell your doctor.

babyjane1 Wed 27-Mar-13 09:30:49

Good morning babes, on day 3 here and feeling good, having a little trouble sleeping but dh snoring is ridiculous and wine has acted as earplugs for years. I feel productive, have been tackling the domestic projects which have clogged my chaotic mind for months, I think it was purple who once said the state if your house reflects the state of your mind, I believe this to be very true, hope all the new babes are doing ok, shout if you need some moral support and I reckon the wine witch is away for Easter cos she ain't knocking on my door!! X x x

FuzzyInTheMorning Wed 27-Mar-13 10:15:55

Hi babes, had the worst nights sleep. Was soaking wet with sweat, literally dripping! Why does this happen? Won't google as upsets me! I literally had to wrap myself in towels and keep changing them. It's scary how much I realise now how much alcohol I consumed and how it affects me. Day 2 anyway smile

obrigada Wed 27-Mar-13 10:16:20

Morning Baby and well done on Day 3smile I too want to tackle my home as I believe that, like you, the clutter in my house has been clogging my chaotic mind as well. We can become domestic goddesses togethersmile

curryeater Wed 27-Mar-13 10:19:34

Morning baby, morning fuzzy, morning obrigada.
well done baby!
Fuzzy - day two here you come, well done.

Have a good day all

Lemonylemon Wed 27-Mar-13 10:31:40

Morning all!

Still in the sidecar. Welcome to newbies/oldies with new names smile

Fuzzy how old are you if you don't mind my asking? The sweats could be something else.....

Mouse hope it's calming down a bit for you.... Under a cosh, you are...

curry fab information there, thank you.

obrigada how many days for you? Tons and tons, isn't it?

obrigada Wed 27-Mar-13 10:48:41

Morning Curry and Lemonysmile
Lemony, I haven't had a drink since 1st March when I drank way way too much and wasted the whole weekend/week feeling shitty and hating myself with a passion!

PurpleWolfe Wed 27-Mar-13 10:53:43

'Twas me, Baby. And my house looks like a shit heap right now. sad Supposed to be going to Cornwall for a holiday on 6th April and have sooo much to sort out before then. Worrying that it just won't get done.

Back to the doctors - again - with DS2 this morning. He's had sores/spots on his face for over 5 weeks now. He's been prescribed antibiotic cream for a week - gap of a week to see if there was any sort of improvement. Didn't work. Then oral antibiotics for a week - gap of a week to see if there was any sort of improvement. Didn't work. So, now, we have a different/stronger antibiotic and yet more cream. But at least, if this doesn't work, after a week, she said she would refer him to a specialist. He's only 6 and getting subconscious about school friends (and adults) asking about his spots. Love him. I so wish I could have them instead of/for him.

On the 'good news' front, there is a really lovely man (and his civil partner) interested in giving Libby a home. He's sent me photos of his current Giant Scnauzer and one he lost to old age and talked to him for nearly an hour on the phone last night. The plan is to meet up at the weekend. Fingers cross - but it will be very sad, at the same time, if it happens.

Thank you everyone for your lovely words. Will nc a bit later. Need to at least do some washing up right now. sad sad x

babyjane1 Wed 27-Mar-13 10:54:12

fuzzy the sweats will pass quickly, try not to overthink it, you will just stress yourself out and that's when the wine witch
Will catch you out. If you have a local leisure centre, steam room, sauna and a nice swim will speed up the process of getting those toxins out, day 2 is brilliant, the only way is up!!! obrigada Glad to welcome you to goddessville!!! I'm going to see an alcohol counsellor today, just want some RL support to keep up the momentum, and you guys are amazing, thanks for all your support, anyone know how kola
Is? X x x x

guggenheim Wed 27-Mar-13 11:05:58

Morning lovely babes

Hope you are all feeling well today and a massive well done to anyone on day 1 ,2,3 + without the booze. They are by far the hardest days of all,get through them and it starts to become easier, and then easier again. smile

curry I love the info and I've chucked that book recommendation into my wishlist. I'm not very good at relaxing so I need to work on that next.

fuzzy Sorry to hear about the night sweats, it might just be the crap working it's way out of your system, so in a few nights time you can be clear of it all. I hope that koala doesn't mind, but I can remember her talking about all the physical effects of detoxing, not nice but she did it. Where are you koala by the way? I had night sweats each and every night, even when I'd only had a little bit to drink. The many years of drinking where catching up with me. No night sweats to report now! Stick with it,you'll feel better soon.

rural good to hear from you- come back and post please.

Having boasted about not getting night sweats, I have got another sodding ear infection. It's just in one side,same side I always get it on. I hate,hate,hate ear ache. It's like sodding period pain, it goes all the ways inside,horrid.

ma the green ones are yours. Fab news about your dd though. Hopes for more good news for ma soon.

guggenheim Wed 27-Mar-13 11:08:55

baby x post on calling for koala smile she has to appear now!

Great news on the RL support, I think you'll really benefit. Hope the ww fucks off away from your house! x

aliasjoey Wed 27-Mar-13 11:50:49

purple good news about Libby, did you say she doesn't get on with other dogs? Fingers crossed it works out for you.

babyjane1 Wed 27-Mar-13 12:06:02

gugg thanks a million, meant to say to ma brilliant news on dd, you must a very proud ma indeed, hope your all having a good day, sun is shining in Bonny Scotland and I don't have a hangover, that'll do for me for now x x x

PurpleWolfe Wed 27-Mar-13 12:13:14

Hi Joey and thanks. Yes, she's not good with other dogs(but lived alongside another dog for the first two years) - and this couple have another GS - but he's confident that he can help her become re-socialised. He's done it before with another rescue dog. He has a vet/animal behaviourist friend that he's already spoken to about Libby who thinks it would be workable. Libby would love more company so I think it would really benefit her - just need to find the right person with the time, money and effort to do it. x

kateissotired Wed 27-Mar-13 12:45:04

Hello all. I went to the alcohol counsellor yesterday, it was really helpful. We went through my relationship with alcohol and it was a real eye opener. Also tried to go through my triggers to drink, which took a while...

FuzzyInTheMorning Wed 27-Mar-13 13:30:03

I'm 38 so hopefully not menopause! Got my first grey hair yesterday which shocked me as I still act like a binge drinking teenager. Saw my counsellor today and told her I have an alcohol problem. Going to tell my DH later. Fed up of not remembering how evenings end. The sweats are so bad, hopefully they'll be going soon! Small price to pay for getting my health back though x

determinedma Wed 27-Mar-13 14:19:25

quick wave to all through the blizzards.....

curryeater Wed 27-Mar-13 14:36:53

How was your brother last night, ma?

babyjane1 Wed 27-Mar-13 14:41:27

purple just want to send you a hug cos you deserve one x x x x

determinedma Wed 27-Mar-13 19:26:27

Not entirely sure curry don't know if I'm looking for things which aren't there, or beginning to spot a familiar pattern.....

Hi babes, hope everyones managing through the freezing cold & no ones suffering too badly with the snow. Purple thats amazing about Libby, hope this all works out. Your poor little boy with his sore skin, hope he gets something soon. I know when my ds was really little he had a horrible rash & kept getting fobbed off with all sorts of rubbish that didn't work. He then got a really strong steroid which did the trick but think a lot of the time the gps don't really know what spots/rashes are so don't know how to treat?
Well done all babes on beating off the ww & wishing strength to those trying.
I've got a party on Saturday night, I really don't want to go but it's a neighbour I like & don't want to let her down. I just want to stay in my safe little bubble away from booze!
I'm trying to finish my Allen Carr in time for Saturday & hoping this will miraculously enable me to go to party , have a good time & realise I can do this without booze!! confused

determinedma Wed 27-Mar-13 21:36:12

Quiet on here.
mouse are you OK?

Mouseface Wed 27-Mar-13 22:31:04

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Lots going on with me but I'll catch up on all of that tomorrow.

Hey Fuzzy/Lola, welcome back lovely smile

Raw post alert -

For you and those who are worried about the GP and what they can reveal, then please, please stop. They only ever want to help and if you are drinking too much and driving your children to school the next day, or yourself to work, then they're doing the right thing IMVHO.

Don't get me wrong, I've driven to school pissed from the night before, taking DD in the car, only around the corner etc... hmm it was only down the road, we were okay........ right?

Thing is, if you crash, of course you won't, but if you did, and killed a child, your child, another person's child, another person, how much worse would that be than not having a that extra drink tonight or tomorrow? Why is that worth it? I'm sorry to seem arsey and cruel but wake up and see what drinking does to you. Not just you but those around you. My dad used to drive us pissed from the night before, just like me.

Almost everyone lies to their GP about how much they drink, at first at least, at the first appointment and maybe for a while longer after that too......... it's fear, it's the shame. It's the failure, the pitying looks you think you're going to get, the 'what has it got to do with you?' feelings.

The self defence, the self preservation........ it all matters.

Well, so do YOU! YOU matter, YOUR life matters, YOU have people who love YOU, need YOU, want YOU. In whatever form, it is there.

Your GP has an legal obligation to disclose your records if required but ONLY if you agree to it with things like medicals for jobs, insurance for driving etc.

For those who are worried, then please, take some time and look HERE PLEASE

If you really, honestly want to stop what you do night after night, (or day) the abuse of your body, the lies, deceit, the pain, the hurt, the denial, the wondering why, the feeling ever so worthless, so wrong, so cheated.

Life is short, life is fucking hard, life is cruel and mean and takes a bloody good smack at you when you really don't deserve it. You strive to provide, you try to get beyond, past, through, around the anger, the disappointment of another day wasted, wondering, thinking, scared to say anything to anyone.

Life is too short to worry about the small mindedness of others. Set your stride, make it strong, make it count. Make it yours.

If you believe that you can stop the torment, the pain and the sorrow, then why not start today? Tomorrow or the next day, but soon.

We are all so alive, so needy, so desperate to be happy and healthy. Let's start taking the control back from the other things in our lives - the gas bill, the car battery or MOT, the disappointing school report, the feckless fathers, the pain that some of us go though.

I'm sorry for the long waffle but life is too short, life is precious. Life is yours to take if you want to have it. I know that sounds petty, it's not, it's that easy once you strip away the shit that is clouding your sight just now.

We're all here for you, new or old Babes, we're a team, you can rely on us, we will hold your hands.

I need to go. Tomorrow is a whole new day. Be safe and be kind to yourselves xxxxxxxxxxx

Morning babes. Great post mouse. Hope things not too hard for you all just now. When I see all the snow down south I keep hoping you & Nemo are managing ok as know this weather is not good for you both.
Stay safe babes x

babyjane1 Thu 28-Mar-13 09:37:58

Good morning, it is not often I can ever say the weather in Scotland is milder than the South but today it is!!! On day 4 and have a pounding headache today, since I've not been drinking I'm having horrendous nightmares which are leaving me exhausted in the morning but I'm sure it's all part of the process. Even in a few short days my oldest dd is looking at me with less of a snarl and my body has been spared at least 6 bottles so far and drinking water by the litre. I still look horrendous, can anyone confirm when the aesthetic benefits start to show? X x x

Mouseface Thu 28-Mar-13 09:51:47

Morning, tis me, Mouse


Sorry about that rant last night, I was a little fired up after seeing a 'friend' who constantly goes on about how she can't wait to get home each night from school after picking her child up to have a drink after such a hard day at work and then having to look after her two boys..... it's so hard for her, etc etc etc.

I have all the time in the world for those who have a tough time of it, those who work, raise a family, do the school run, do all you can to make ends meet but this particular person managed to push my buttons for purely selfish reasons.

Nemo starts half days in preschool after Easter (going from full 3 times a week to half days every day and I have GOT TO LEAVE HIM) to mirror the days he'll do in September once he starts at his primary school.

This person was moaning about how each day having to cope with her boys at home, she's got lots of support, family, friends, DP etc.... is just a PITA and wine cures all.

I'm sorry, my post wasn't meant to upset, more point out how I was feeling I think reading back.

Hope you are all okay Brave Babes.

<draws line in sand> ------------------------------------

So, last night I went to see a private physio and he's told me after an hour of tests and examinations, that my pelvis is twisted and that I have one leg 2.5cm longer than the other because of how I compensate when walking due to the pain. He's recommended an insole for my left leg, in the hope that I'll straighten up a little as my posture is dreadful too.

He said that he wants to get my core as strong as possible to support my spine, and try to keep me out of a wheelchair for as long as possible. He also said that if I had my spine fused once, I'd spend the rest of my days having it fused again and again because of how DDD works. (Degenerative Disc Disease)

So there you go, that's where I'm up to. I promise not to post when emotional like that again. Sorry Babes.

Off to make Easter masks, eggs, and chicks at a craft morning at school soon. See you later Babes, stay brave smile

We've had around 4ft of snow over the last few days here and I'm bored of not being able to walk on the pavements because the stupid council decided to plough the roads each time it snowed, sending the snow into the pavements, which is now frozen solid. Poor DH has had to carry Nemo to school every day!!

I'm really going now, stay safe xxxxx

Thank you Clutter - will PM you later smile x

<leaves hot brews and biscuits and warm, fluffy blankets out for those who are still suffering with the snow and ice>

obrigada Thu 28-Mar-13 10:12:37

Mouse, post away, whether it's from a good or a bad place, we are here for you just as you are always here for us.
Baby well done on Day 4, you seem really determined this time, go yousmile
Morning Cluttersmile

Lemonylemon Thu 28-Mar-13 10:14:55

Morning All!

Purps - re. your son - does this ring any bells? "Non-bullous impetigo - initially causes red sores usually around the nose and mouth but sometimes on the arms and legs. The red sores quickly burst leaving a layer of yellow or brown coloured crust on the skin, which turns into a red mark before disappearing."

Mouse My sister has DDD. She went to see a podiatrist and has a lift in one of her shoes. I've had a twisted pelvis which I've had untwisted, but I'm just in the sciatica stage, nothing, nothing, nothing like you. My sister is in constant pain as well, but has had a lot of relief from the lift. She hasn't had the spine fuse, just cortisone injections. I liked your post from last night, actually. I've often found that its those people with pretty much nothing to complain about who complain the most...... Anyway, little Nemo starting preschool sessions on his own. That's going to be a big jump. I hope that it works out ok.

Fuzzy the perimenopause can last for years.... Just sayin' wink

kate that's good progress.

<<Waves to everyone else>> Wishing you all a peaceful and sober Easter. I shall be relaxing with the babies (ha!) and talking myself onto the bus again....

aliasjoey Thu 28-Mar-13 10:18:30

mouse I loved your 'emotional' post. It says what lots of people might be thinking, or not wanting to think about too deeply, the short-sharp-shock is what we need sometimes.

It must be frustrating listening to your 'friend' but read your own advice - life's too precious to be spending your time dwelling on someone who isn't worth it. Think of her as toxic alcohol - don't let her take up your valuable time/emotions. Imagine she's a bottle of vodka, cork her up, put her in the back of the cupboard and do something more interesting. grin

curryeater Thu 28-Mar-13 10:26:20

Mouse, I liked your post last night too.

All good here. Busy but now I have something to listen to it on, have gone back to the mindfulness book I posted upthread, and even just a few days has really helped me clear my head.

have a good day all


kateissotired Thu 28-Mar-13 10:44:41

I am on day 5 now, and I have never been so tired. I went for a meal last night and had soft drinks, got some funny looks and but did it. This is alien for me.

kateissotired Thu 28-Mar-13 12:03:14

I am sorry if I am using this thread as a diary. Mouse, my friend has DDD and swimming helps her enormously to strengthen her core and alexander technique has helped to improve her posture which has helped to manage the pain.

Mouseface Thu 28-Mar-13 13:17:00

Thanks all smile

Katie - YAYAYAYAY for day 5!! Thank you for telling me about your poor friend, it's nice to know I'm not alone in my quest to stay wheelchair free for as long as possible!! I've not heard or been told anything about the Alexander Technique so will Google that soon!!

I have been told by the physio last night, GPs, pain clinics and back surgeon not to swim, I have other issues too, Facet Joint Syndrome, SPD from being pg with Nemo so now my pelvic halves are twisted, the left side 'leans' forward, they're in opposite directions and I have 3 herniated discs so 'swimming' as such is out. sad

I had three wonderful years of hydrotherapy but there's only so much that can do and Nemo's needs always come before mine I'm afraid, so I had to give that up as I couldn't get there. smile

<waits to be told that has to change!! grin >

However, I've just joined a health club with a warmer than average pool, sauna and steam room, with a jacuzzi which will help no end. Heat really helps me so the end of Winter (some time in bloody April according to the BBC weather nobbers) can't come soon enough!

I can use the pool floating in it, using foam supports and carefully walking in the warm water, but because of the severity of the DDD, the lack of support my muscles currently give my back, lumbar region and pelvis, if my bottom sinks (which it does) I'd be putting too much pressure on that area. Does that make sense? smile

We're starting from scratch so I have to tighten my lower abs as many times a day as I can and try to hold my belly in when I bend. The physio I saw last night taped me up again, with k-tape, but the middle strip came off last night. Luckily I have some more from years ago so I can just replace it until I see him again in 2 weeks. I honestly didn't think he'd be able to help but if he can strengthen my core, then that will help so much, the pressure will be less on my hips, pelvis, knees, ankles everything, it all has a knock on affect.

Joey - thank you smile you are, of course, right xx

Lemony - they did try to 'untwist' my pelvis when Nemo was younger but failed, they're not going to try again because it's too much for my body to take currently. Who knows what technology we'll see in the future? smile I had injections into the spine last year, anaesthetic and steroids but it failed. sad the pain was excruciating. The poor nurse was holding my hand and I swear I cracked a few bones! I'm glad your sister is getting relief. I'm going to give it a shot with the lift, see if we can get it on the NHS or via our healthcare, that's what it's for after all!!

Obrigada - thanks xx

Another epic waffle from me! grin

Lemonylemon Thu 28-Mar-13 13:25:45

Mouse Oh yes, the Alexander Technique is supposed to be really helpful, as is Pilates..... My sister said the pain of the injections was excrutiating too.

<scuttles away muttering: "I really should practice what I preach">

KoalaKube Thu 28-Mar-13 13:55:38

Hi Babes i have been quietly lurking in the background recently - I keep up to date with you all most days, so am thinking of you all. Thanks for the name check. The bus is one of my stepping stones to sobriety, but I don't feel comfortable offering advice - so forgive me if it appears that I'm not contributing as much as I should.

Life is good - I'm now over 3 months sober - looking back to those dark days at the end of last year (which I do often as its best not to forget and get complacent) I'm getting to the place I wanted to be and back to the person I remember before the wine witch crept in and took over.

Just enroled on the EA/Get up to date again with office skills course - which starts next week. I have to do this so that I can move back to London for a while to support my daughter who is not getting on with Dad and his family (I did warn her but love her she wanted to try), so I don't want her to mess up A levels next term so its best that I move up for a year or so until she's finished, which means good job required, new home, etc etc.

It's a new start and I'm looking forward to it. House nearly finished decorating so I can rent it out, and I'm working on a new glam london look for myself -instead of the old barbour and wellies country style.

Still attending AA and finally actually speaking (a bit!!) but gaining something from it every time - haven't fully embraced the 'programme' but I'm working on working on it.

Happy Easter All



obrigada Thu 28-Mar-13 14:47:23

Wow Koala, over 3 months sober, huge huge huge well donesmile What a brave thing you are planning to do, hats off to you!

babyjane1 Thu 28-Mar-13 15:34:52

koala I remember those dark days you went through and honestly you seem like a totally different person. Silly as it sounds I'm proud of you and have huge admiration for how you've turned this all around and all on your own, you are an awesome lady!!!! kate use this thread in any way that can help you, I'm right behind you (on day4) and it helps me knowing we are going through the same thing so keep going girl, I'm right behind you x x x

aliasjoey Thu 28-Mar-13 16:41:36

Well done koala 3 months is brilliant!

jesuswhatnext Thu 28-Mar-13 17:42:09

BOING!! happy easter babes! grin sorry not to name check and rush in and out - am having very exciting time work wise, have an event tonight, launch of s/s collections wooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

love to you ALL!!!!!


guggenheim Thu 28-Mar-13 18:59:37

Hi lovely babes,

Yay! koala well done! Fantastic news flowers Bet you feel great.

jwn wow! very exciting <whispers. I don't really know what s/s is?. it's probably something very glam>

mouse you were quite right about booze and driving. I've not driven the car on the same evening I've had a drink but I frequently drove the morning after. I know several lovely people in aa who have driven whilst drunk and it's a devastating, humiliating experience. Who would want to cause an accident or end up in a police cell overnight? Too right to flag up the dangers. and breeaathe.....

I'm off out on a hot date with dh. Had a lovely pm playing with ds in the park, hoping it might have worn the little blighter out no chance
End of term!!! whoo hoo!

babyjane1 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:41:32

jwn you sound happy as a lark, I'm chuffed and guggs enjoy your date ps s/s is spring summer collection ( I only know this cos I read the glossy mags, I'm team primark all the way) I'm rockin day 4 x x x

determinedma Thu 28-Mar-13 20:07:19

Hi all
koala as always you impress me so much. Well done.
mouse dd is still having back problems. She has weekly private Physio which is costing us a fortune, plus acupuncture, plus being taped up. Nothing seems to work. Even the Physio has said all they can do is temporary pain relief.she has been "fast tracked" to see a consultant which means the letter from GP went in a month ago, and we only now have a letter saying she is on a waiting list and MIGHT get an appointment in 12 weeks. Still no MRI scan. They wont do it.she wears insoles which she had made when she was in Spain, but nothing seems to help

FuzzyInTheMorning Thu 28-Mar-13 20:08:25

Thanks mouse!
Day 3 and struggling but no alcohol in the house apart from one warm beer. Not exactly tempted by that! Cherry juice and crisps for me...

kateissotired Thu 28-Mar-13 20:40:36

Watching masterchef with a glass of vimto, everyone is in the pub. I am getting texts to join them but I know I will be on the wine within 10 minutes

ThisIsMyTime Thu 28-Mar-13 20:40:55

Hi everyone day one for me two bottles of wine last night and I'm riddled with anxiety today hate this feeling, hope to feel better tomorrow

kateissotired Thu 28-Mar-13 21:21:41

Hello time, I am not sure I am the best person to offer advice, but try and look after yourself, tea or hot vimto, and settle into the settee and watch tv or get involved with a good book. The anxiety will reduce tomorrow

determinedma Thu 28-Mar-13 21:45:11

Must admit I'm not even trying to stop at the moment. I have Easter and then a week out of work with a friend visiting, so I'm not setting myself up to fail.I know that's a bad thing to write and to read for all the babes who are out there struggling,but its where I am. I'll stay in the sidecar for now and try and regroup

ThisIsMyTime Thu 28-Mar-13 21:57:57

Thanks Katie any support is appreciated. I normally get to day 3 and think I deserve one its not that bad and I seem to have forgot about the terrible anxiety I suffer after a binge. Onwards and upwards from here hopefully

kateissotired Thu 28-Mar-13 22:15:01

The reason I should not be offering advice is that I am still cringing after the run in with the friend, who is with my other friends at the pub. I am worried I am the talk of the table, but I know I should be focussing on myself, and getting better. I went to AA today and found it really really helpful, and friendly and supportive.

babyjane1 Thu 28-Mar-13 22:54:26

kate well done on AA, I'm sure when they see the huge effort you are making they will come round. mytime we have all been in your situation but tomorrow will look better, don't beat yourself up it will make you feel even more anxious, tomorrow drink a ton of water, eat well and if you can find time for a bubble bath and face pack I promise things will look a whole lot better, hugs to you x x x

aliasjoey Fri 29-Mar-13 00:03:20

ma that's not such a bad thing, it's understanding your weaknesses, planning and controlling... better than attempting the impossible, failing and then going too far in the opposite direction as some kind of self punishment. (Been there, done that)

3 busy days ahead - two nights saying with relatives and then a wedding on Sunday. Tomorrow, I'll have a bath and an early night. The wedding, I'm not going to drink until after we've eaten, I can't remember what time the meal is, but if it's early I won't start drinking until at least 6pm.

Saturday, I guess will be the same, no wine until we have eaten. It's really hard seeing everyone else most people drinking (when you really think about it, actually quite a few people don't drink, funny how we don't seem to notice that) but anyway they can limit or control their drinks and I CAN'T so there's no point in envying them.

I'll try and check in, if only briefly, just to remind myself that you're all here.

ThisIsMyTime Fri 29-Mar-13 07:43:39

Morning babes day 2 had ok sleep have work today so hope I feel better than yesterday hope everyone is ok x

guggenheim Fri 29-Mar-13 09:11:52

Morning babes,

katie good for you for resisting the pub, it would be too easy to cave in and have a drink , much better to stay away until you're able to stay sober/ just have the one/ whatever it is you're choosing to do.

thisis good -day one over and done with smile The anxiety will decrease too. Even getting to day 3 and then having a drink is loads better than every day or binging, so well done.

baby so good to see you here x. I should have pretended that I knew what s/s was really shouldn't I? lol. I 'spect that you are one of these glamourous babes too.Here's to day 5 - that's pretty much a week!

Love the sophisticated drinking- vimto, cherry juice, I had a coke. Cheap dates us lot!

joey enjoy the wedding, that's a good plan re: drinking. Are you wearing the yellow flouncy number then?

FuzzyInTheMorning Fri 29-Mar-13 10:01:51

Day 1. Again sad((

babyjane1 Fri 29-Mar-13 12:50:06

What happened fuzzy? What triggered it, I had a minor argument with dh and literally put my jacket on to go and get wine, it was like a reflex! Anyway I reminded myself that wine is no longer the answer to
Everything. For example I drink when I'm happy, I drink when I'm sad, I drink when I'm lonely and I drink when I have company, I drink when
The kids do my head in, I drink when my mum has them to give
Me a break, see the pattern emerging!!!! Anyway we are all in it together and well done you for being honest and starting again, every day without wine is a job well done x x x

FuzzyInTheMorning Fri 29-Mar-13 13:11:47

I found a crate of beer on the patio from when we had friends round last week. Had one thinking it won't hurt, then another, then another....sad

babyjane1 Fri 29-Mar-13 13:32:55

We have all done it, me dozens of times so remember your among friends and keep posting x x

Mouseface Fri 29-Mar-13 14:55:05

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Koala - amazing work!!! Well done you. Do you feel like doing a few thousand cartwheels? I think you are absolutely bloomin' fab to have reached 3 whole months. Fantastic news smile xxxx GO YOU!!!!

Fuzzy - what Baby said, with some hugs thrown in xx

Ma - it's stupid isn't it? Can I ask you what meds she is on? I'm assuming that she has to pay for her prescriptions too? The tape has come off after a whole two days and I feel dreadful today. I feel like someone has kicked me in the crotch because I've had a busy week.

Does DD find the same? If she's moving about a lot, her pain levels go through the roof? Big squidges to her, I so feel her pain. If you like, you can give her my email address, I'll PM it to you and maybe we can chat about treatments that we've had and see if there's anything one of us hasn't tried yet? Would that be okay?

I'm full of a cold too..... coughed for most of last night so feel like a right old moaning mini today!! grin

joey - enjoy yourself at the wedding smile xx

JWN - S/S? Oh my days, you better have a clear out hadn't you to make room for the new collections? Or will you just move DH out? grin

aliasjoey Fri 29-Mar-13 16:42:50

guggs you mean the one I wanted to wear as bridesmaid to purple wedding?! Ha! I'd forgotten about that - you have a good memory! No, they did not ask me to be bridesmaid sad

aliasjoey Fri 29-Mar-13 16:55:45

Well I hope this weekend isn't going to be a disaster. The reason is we're sleeping in a house/hotel full of DHs relatives, and something horrible happened last night and I'm dreading a repeat. I sometimes have night terrors, not for a while - but last night I had a doozy. I have a vague sense of a presence in the room, and start screaming my head off! Unlike a nightmare, you can't really remember what it was about, other than a sense of terror. DH who is scared witless, tried to shut me up by putting his hand over my mouth! (He is half-asleep) I pointed out that feeling someone try to smother me would only increase my terror, but as he said it was sheer instinct.

I'm really worried if I have another one it will wake up a hotel full of strangers! Or DH will accidentally suffocate me, and a murder investigation would put a bit of a damper on the wedding... I don't think alcohol either helps or makes it worse. (But it would take away some anxiety about getting off to sleep)

Mouseface Fri 29-Mar-13 17:31:59

<grabs Joey and snuggles into ample bosom all mother like> when I read that about your DH trying to quieten you by putting his hand over your mouth made my blood run cold.


Do you think that something triggered it? I know not everyone believes in ghosts, beings or whatever, but I do IMO, and that you could've sensed a 'presence' in the room which triggered your night terrors/reactions to kick in, making you scream and make you leap out of your skin.

Poor you and no, the alcohol wouldn't have helped, in fact, it would exacerbate your night terrors sweets, but you know that.

((HUGS)) Maybe have a word with DH and tell him not to try and smother you but to carefully and gently wake you if he can instead. Or at least try to hold you so you don't fall out of bed or hurt yourself.

determinedma Fri 29-Mar-13 18:35:40

Hey mouse thanks for pm. Bought dd a support belt kind of thing to see if that helps. She has a lot of pain in her hips now too. I am going to ring the go on Tuesday when they reopen and use the red flag symptoms to try and get things moving. Say she has pain spreading below the knees and numbness. Not entirely true but this has been over 6 months now and we have tried everything and paid ourselves for Physio and even private gym membership to see if sauna helps.
We dont pay for prescriptions here but we have paid out for everything else. I just wish she was pain free and back to enjoying life as a 19 year old should be

aliasjoey Fri 29-Mar-13 18:57:16

Thanks mouse the problem is that DH is only half-awake and not thinking straight. I've just been googling and the main triggers are stress and poor sleep patterns. Both of which I have. Last year when I had very bad insomnia, I had several of these sleep terror episodes, so I think there is a connection. Am just going to have to try and get more sleep. But with a wedding and the damn clocks going forward this weekend (!) it might be a struggle.

ma your poor DD! It must be so hard at such a young age to be in pain. Of course it's hard at any age, but you know what I mean!

PurpleWolfe Fri 29-Mar-13 21:13:49

Feeling so so sad tonight. I'm handing the dog over to someone else, to take care of her, tomorrow. They are a lovely couple and I know she's going to be spoilt rotten - and I know it's the best thing for her. They have another Giant Schnauzer that they resucued and are going to take time and patience to introduce them to each other. I'm so happy that she will have a constant companion in her dotage. She gets lonely here. It hasn't helped that they wanted some more photos of her life so I've been back through the photo archives. Lots of lovely sunny photos of happy dog and happy children - happy times. They have the time and money to look after her in her old age so it will be comfortable and happy - she's even going to be allowed on the sofa! It is the right thing to do but it's not easy. Gonna be such a mess tomorrow. sad

determinedma Fri 29-Mar-13 21:17:08

Oh purple that is such a hard thing to face, but so happy she has found d a lovely family to go to. It is still hard for you though. Like when you have to have them put to sleep - you know its the best thing for them, but it is so very hard.

PurpleWolfe Fri 29-Mar-13 21:47:47

Thank you Ma been in tears here - giving her her last evening meal (and way too many treats), getting all her bits together. DD will never forgive me. This couple are so lovely. They've both e-mail me and we've spoken on the phone a lot. The thought of vet's bill has always been on my mind. The last thing she had go wrong was an infected womb. She nearly died. I paid nearly £900 for the op and to get her better. Just the flea thing last month cost over £35 to sort out. And no, no insurance, it's more expensive the older they get and she's 9 now. We've shared 7 lovely years. Going to try and hang on to that. x

determinedma Fri 29-Mar-13 21:51:05

Oh purps try and hang on to that. Keep repeating to yourself, I am doing this because I love you. Somehow, she will understand. Dd will forgive you in time, but she will need a bit of time to be angry and sad. Hang in there babe

Mouseface Fri 29-Mar-13 22:15:43

Ma - yep, I get the numbness, so similar it's sad. At 19 she shouldn't be going through this. She NEEDS AN MRI xx

Off to bed, chat more about it all tomorrow xxx

venusandmars Sat 30-Mar-13 00:16:08

fuzzy don't think of it as failure, think about all of this as a great experiment. You have 'experimented' with drinking one beer, and you found that it led to you drinking loads more. OK. So take notice of the results of that experiment. Learn from it. If you try the same experiment again, you'll probably get the same result. Learn from that. And then try something different. Try tipping the beer down the sink; try drinking something non-alcoholic; try going to bed with a mug of cocoa. And see what results you get.

venusandmars Sat 30-Mar-13 00:19:56

JWN I didn't get the s/s thing either, I thought it might be socks and sandals, but I couldn't see you being so crass....

joey I used to get night terrors too. Waking up screaming, throwing the covers off, chasing imaginary snakey-things out of the bed. I did some nlp treatments and also I stopped drinking. Don't know which one worked but dp hasn't been startled in the night for about 3 years.

venusandmars Sat 30-Mar-13 00:28:50

Oh purple it is so difficult to let a creature you love go to a better home. But it does sound as though you have found a fabulous new family to care for your dog. What could be better? I had to let my cat go to another family once, so I understand some of how you feel.

Is there anything you can do to create some kind of ritual or ceremony for her? Like a school leaving ceremony - something where you acknowledge her value in your life, and her aging, and her moving on. Get a paw-print, get a photo. Feel ok about feeling sad, and feel ok about feeling happy for her new life. Accept that you feel two feelings at once. And always remember the happy times.

curryeater Sat 30-Mar-13 09:03:34

hi everyone
sorry this is so hard, purple

feeling a bit drained and strung out at the moment. just checking in to see how you all are

have a good easter x

determinedma Sat 30-Mar-13 09:11:35

Venus " dp hasn't been startled in the night for 3 years" made me spit coffee out.
My dh hasn't been startled in the night for much longer than that!

venusandmars Sat 30-Mar-13 09:36:49

ha ha ma I didn't think about that when I posted.

The 'imaginary snakey-thing' wasn't his either - it was usually huge and black! grin grin

determinedma Sat 30-Mar-13 09:50:52

Venus you've done it again. Just stop digging!
Right, suppose I'd better get out of bed and tackle the ironing mountain before we have a land slide and someone becomes engulfed by laundry.

babyjane1 Sat 30-Mar-13 10:26:42

Just spat mine out too ma you saucy mare, day 6 here!!! purple I have 4 dogs and 2 cats so I know how much you can love a dog, our Labrador was given to us by a young couple with young kids who didn't have time to excercise him, when he came to stay he ran round my mum's huge garden and never looked back, he has had a wonderful life and is now 15 and we are preparing to have him put to sleep, he is not in pain but is breathing heavily and with difficilty and is incontinent but if that couple had kept him he would never have had a life running around in fields with other dogs and horses, they did the right thing for the sake of the dog as are you, big hugs x x x

ThisIsMyTime Sat 30-Mar-13 10:37:01

Day 3 feeling much better hope every one is ok x

aliasjoey Sat 30-Mar-13 11:32:28

purple can you go and visit her, or ask them to send you photos of how she's settled in? You are being so brave doing what's right for her.

venus I will look into nlp thank you.

mouse I don't think I believe in ghosts, and unfortunately the night terrors come on so quickly you can't think, let alone think rationally. It's literally - wake up with blood-curdling screams, and only afterwards remember vague feelings of a presence in the room. Apparently it's more common in children, and puzzles parents because a child can appear terrified, but the next morning remember nothing (unlike nightmares)

But I had my relaxation podcast and slept well last night. DH has a hangover! He doesn't usually drink too much, and I am feeling smug blush

FuzzyInTheMorning Sat 30-Mar-13 11:52:23

Thank you Venus day 2 and sick, had to cancel work today but at least I don't even fancy a drink! Off to the ideal home show tomorrow, got a champagne bar to swerve but hopefully that will go with success!
Purple my heart goes out to you. I have two dogs and had to give away my third 5 years ago as she snapped at my youngest. Despite being tiny I still felt the dynamics wouldn't work as kids scared her. She is so happy now with a retired couple and is allowed to be the spoilt lap dog she was obviously so destined to be! I have seen her since but she's so happy it made me realise that it was the best thing xxx

Morning babes
Boing boing have almost completed dry lent, day 49 today! Got a party tonight which will be my first real challenge since I have been a recluse the last 7 weeks!
I've almost finished the Allen Carr easyway book so think I am getting my mindset into thinking I am not depriving myself of not drinking at the party tonight.

I am depriving myself of humiliating myself, the shame, guilt & 4 day depression.

I am gaining enjoying myself, remembering the night, conversations I have & feeling up for Easter Sunday tomorrow! Whoo hoo!

Purple really feel for you, sounds like whatever decision you made was going to be difficult but you've found a warm, loving home for your dog, hope you can take comfort in knowing your dog will be cared for.

Mouse hope things ok with you & this cold weather eases up for you & Nemo

Wishing all babes a Happy Easter xx

PurpleWolfe Sat 30-Mar-13 12:56:55

Thank you Ma, Clutter, Fuzzy, Baby, Joey, Curry and Venus. I've just got back. Walking in the house without her here has knocked me for six.

Travelled just over an hour to meet the two chaps half-wayish. I got to this lovely country park early so I could give Libby a last walk and tire her out for her journey to her new home - to make it easier for her. I was doing OK, in fact felt a bit hard-hearted as it seemed like any other walk, until I got a call from one of the chaps saying they'd arrived in the car park. I barely held it together from then 'til I drove off out of the car park, catching a glimpse of her in the back of their car.They are so nice. They gave me huge hugs and promised to look after her for me. I know they will. I had to pull over just after I set off because I couldn't see where I was going.

They have e-mailed me already. Seems Libs had a great journey back in the car, went straight up to their front door and her and her I hope soon to be best mate are a little wary of each other but no aggression. He's going to mail me later this evening. I asked that he didn't phone for a few days.

Yes, Joey they are really happy to keep contact and send photos. They have left it to me as to the volume/frequency of contact. It's a bit too far to visit and I think that might make it worse for DD.

I know I'm feeling like this because I feel sorry for myself and feel guilty that I couldn't do a better job with her. She deserved so much more than me. I feel pretty shit at just about everything just now.

Got to face DD tomorrow. Dreading it.

I so wish there was someone here to hug me up.

Will look all 'piggy-eyed' tomorrow from all this crying.

Sorry, me, me, me again. Will get back to reading the thread really soon.

determinedma Sat 30-Mar-13 14:29:56

Oh well done purps That was a brave thing to do and what a lovely family you have found for her. Tell dd how happy Libby is already with her new people - maybe Libby could send dd a little letter in a few weeks time? Be prepared for dd to be angry - but hold on to the thought that you have done the right thing

Mouseface Sat 30-Mar-13 15:07:21

Oh Purple - sad

<hugs Purps for aaaaaaaaaaages>

I agree with Ma that DD could be angry and take it out on you for a few days but YOU HAD ABSOLUTELY NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO CHOICE in this. At all. She'll be sad and upset too but you have to put yourselves first money wise and at least you took the time and effort to re-home her with a caring family, who already have a dog, want her, will love her, have emailed you, met you halfway, accepted how upset you are and are happy to keep in contact with you.

YOU did the hard part, but also the kindest thing for Libby that you could have given the circumstances. I know that it seems unbearable now but hold onto the pictures of her, the days out, the nights in, the daft things she did, the bloody annoying and horrifying things she did too, hold onto her however you want to and try to take the pressure off yourself.

I'm sorry that you are so upset, it's just not nice is it? Are you alone today? Why not treat yourself to a lovely, long bath later, with some gorgeous bath products in? I'm planning on having a bath later, all things being equal! [doubtful emoticon]

I've been to Boots and stocked up on my fave Sanctury Spa products. Why not try and do something nice for YOU? xx

Mouseface Sat 30-Mar-13 15:16:28

Joey - yep, night terrors rather than ghosts I agree smile sorry that you get them though, they are terrifying aren't they sad Don't be blush about feeling smug re DH, it's good that you've not joined him smile xx

Clutter - I hope you have a wonderful time, we're having a kind of 'date night' here later if Nemo will let me, I'm planning some pampering so I look well for the visit to my parent's tomorrow. I'm wondering how many family members will tell me just how tired I look!!! Grrrrr.

You've done so well to get this far, I'm so pleased that you have managed to get over any blips and carried on smile xx

venus - how's DD?

Right, I better go and 'do' something more with Nemo or he'll drive me nuts for the afternoon. He has now found Fireman Sam smile

babyjane1 Sat 30-Mar-13 15:43:09

purple I'm hugging you as tightly as I can, wish it was a RL hug but the sentiment is the same, x x x

Huge huge hugs for purple! It sounds like you have been put through the ringer emotionally today but it sounds like you have done the right thing by Libby.
Mouse hope you get your date night tonight & a lovely nights sleep do you look glowing & radiant tomorrow! I've just been for weekly shop & ds convinced me to get him another Spider man DVD so I have 5 mins peace...bliss!
Joey I can so relate to your night terrors, I often have these & dh has to hold me tight & say clutter it's ok, wake up, then i'm always spooked fr ages. I'm not sure if it's a night terror as I can normally remember my dream & it's usually one of 3 recurrent dreams. One is at my old flat & I look out the window & see this really scary, creepy old lady at the bottom & I'm terrified she'll see me then she turns & starts to come towards me then I start screaming. Another is that I always at my Grans house which is weird as when I was younger this was always a place I felt safe yet in my dreams I always feel scared when I'm there! hmm

determinedma Sat 30-Mar-13 17:23:23

Meant to say, bloody fabulous clutter on the dry Lent. You have done an amazing job.

PurpleWolfe Sat 30-Mar-13 18:11:25

Sending love to Ma, Mouse, Baby and Clutter Thank you for the hugs, they mean so much. Mouse Yes, I'm on my own and in some ways that's a good thing. I'm wallowing a bit. The long, tight hugs were awesome!

Really surprised. Just got a call from DD. I messaged XP to let her know that Libby was happy so far etc. She asked if I was OK (cue controlled blubbing). 'Yes' says me! Instead of the anger I was expecting, she was sympathetic and worried about me! Bless her cotton socks. I know her feelings/moods will/may change but I'm really touched tonight.

Mouse Have a fab date evening with DH. So hope Nemo lets you two have a romantic night. x

Clutter Well done on 49 days! Amazing! x

Clutter and Joey Sorry to hear about the night terrors/bad dreams. Hope you both have dreamless sleep tonight. My worse thing is that I dream that I have woken up - a lot! So everything that is happening feels so vivid. Thanks for that, brain!

Aw Purple, that's amazing. That must be a huge weight of your mind & not only do you not have to justify a decision that has broke your heart but your dd is caring & loving towards you...huge double bonus!!
I'm getting ready to go to party & not really looking forward to it. Not because I can't drink but more I can't be bothered. I like getting little one tucked into bed at 7pm then having a couple of hours to relax but hey ho te plan is to go for half 7 & leave at 10. Taking the car x

Mouseface Sat 30-Mar-13 21:21:02

Happy Easter Brave Babes, I'm off to bed as losing an hour is going to kill me. smile

I hope that you all have a nice rest of the weekend.

Lots of love to those who are struggling xxxx

aliasjoey Sat 30-Mar-13 21:33:40

purple many people would have carried on with dog, unable to give it the care and attention it needs. You have made a really brave decision, instead of just copping out and dumping the dog at the nearest shelter, you took the time to find her the perfect home.

You should be SO proud of yourself.

Am drinking tonight, but am pleased that have only just started - and even refused a glass of champagne earlier.

Am starting to get nervous about the rest of the weekend though. Once the wine starts, the self-control goes. Well, at least thanks to you lot I will have drunk much less than usual.

Joey xxx

Well that's me home & tucked up in bed. Didn't drink & even managed to have a wee dance before I left...sober! A little strange but sure the more I do it the more normal it will feel. Dd was shocked & really proud of me! Was interesting looking at all those around me drinking & really paying attention to them for the first time in my life.
Thinking of you joey & hope the weekend gets easier not harder!
Night night brave babes xx

venusandmars Sun 31-Mar-13 10:03:21

joey - spot on in what you said to purple. Someone who was a failure wouldn't have made a difficult decision, or done what was best, they would have ignored the problem.

clutter well done you. And yes it does get easier. I love it that I can have fun and a bit of a laugh, and then even remember it the next morning (and want to remember it, rather than wanting to forget most of it).

Hope everyone has a good Sunday. Here in Scotland it is bright and cold, both dds are home with their boyfriends so the house is full of love and chatter. Later the house will be full of wonderful smells of cooking. Then tonight dp and I will enjoy the calm and peace after everyone has gone.

determinedma Sun 31-Mar-13 18:37:09

Well, a successful day here. We went egg rolling in the park, then I cooked dinner for 7 which was worrying me a bit, but it went really well. Beef in red wine in the slow cooker, and a gorgeous potato dauphinois and veggies. Then dds fabulous lemon cheesecake. Think I'm going to explode. Bro is definitely acting oddly. Apparently was screaming and swearing in his sleep last night - woke my sis up so she had to sleep in the sitting room at mums. This is usually a sign he's drinking too much.

Hope everyone had had a good day, MA, Venus your days both sound lovely. I've been out for family meal & another first did it without alcohol. Was great not being hungover & then enjoying the today, church, egg rolling & family lunch. Starting to not feel depressed about the future now that I can see how much alcohol was depressing me.
Night night lovely babes xx

determinedma Mon 01-Apr-13 09:37:56

Where the heck is everyone? Are you all sleeping off chocolate overdoses from yesterday?

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 10:15:34

Clutter, Joey and Venus - Thank you. We have got most of the 'first' out of the way (first time coming home and no dog, first time getting up in the morning and not having to let the dog out etc) and it has helped hugely that the chaps have sent lots of photos and updates. Libby is getting on well with their current GS!! Who knew! DD, having seen the pics and read the updates, has come to the understanding that Libs is happier and better off where she is and is settling to the idea. Still not easy, though.

Clutter Well done on your meal out without alcohol! Go you!

Ma Glad to hear you had such a great family day. Sad about Richard, though. Even if he's not drinking, it sounds like he's having a hard time of it. Do you think he is drinking?

Mouse Thank you, Lovely. Hope you are having a stress-free time?! x

curryeater Mon 01-Apr-13 10:52:22

hello all
not doing so well here. Exhausted and drinking too much. Feeling like I am only ok to drink carefully when I can get to bed on my own and sleep. Always feel so guilty about not sleeping with dp and I have to at the moment while we have one bed and there is no real down time for me and I drink, it makes me feel sloppy and relaxed and more accepting of broken sleep and snoring and if I am sober I get angry. rowing today about lie-ins and "time off". and the bin. I am so BORED of all this. Being a woman in a family house is like being at the bottom of a chute of shit.

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 11:28:59

(Predictably just got a message from ExMIL asking why I 'got rid of the dog' now! Sheesh! Trying to not let the old bag get to me! If her son had helped out a bit it might not have come to this but, despite Libby being a family dog for 5 years, has steadfastly refused to take any responsibility or help out in any friggin' way!!! All down to me! Grrrrrrrrrrrr! Bloody cross, again!)

Aw Purple that's so unfair! Could you just reply to mil with what you just said?? x

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 12:15:54

She knows, Clutter but she'll never admit that her DS has done anything wrong - it'll all be my fault! If he would have had her some of the weekends he had DC or if we were on a 'sleepover' one weekend or some of the holiday dates.....! When we split up, Libby had had to have a huge op (removal of her womb due to infection), she nearly died, and XP (we were still in the same house but separated at the time) agreed to her having the op and paying - oh, but that was me that ended up trying to find £900 in order for the bill to be paid! XMIL is a mad woman anyway! Has about 8 or 9 rescue dogs that are allowed on the furniture, on the beds, anywhere they choose, basically!

Still, XP has had Friday and Monday off but still didn't/hasn't seen DC any extra than a normal weekend - despite the fact he won't see them on his usual Tuesday next week and not get them until the Sat instead of the Friday as we are in Cornwall. Hope they don't put two and two together - they will be hurt.

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 12:23:24

(Update: XMIL has totally backed down due to my e-mail:

"Ohhh, I didn't 'get rid' of Libby! sad I didn't take her to the nearest re-homing shelter and 'get rid' of her! I waited until there was somewhere much better for her. Somewhere that could afford to get her to the vets as soon as she needed, somewhere that she had company all the time and somewhere that already had experience of Giant Schnauzers. These guys have no children so look after the dogs they have like they are their children. The fatty lump on her shoulder, that the groomer had clipped, got infected and I got her antibiotics and cream - but it didn't sort the problem - it needs a more (expensive) investigative treatment. Chris and Alistair already had her booked into their vets before they even met her. She was on her own here, a lot, and she really doesn't like it. Added to which, her jabs and kennel stay bill for this Cornwall holiday would come to nearly £190 - that makes it a choice between taking the children away or not.

Her last operation that I paid for was £900. I just don't have the money to pay for anything like that any more. At the time they said if she didn't have the op they would have to put her to sleep. I don't want to be in that awful position again. My benefits have been cut by approx £450 this year already, my local housing allowance has been cut and I now have to pay some council tax (despite having no more money!) and that doesn't take into consideration the rise in the cost of food, energy, diesel etc. Any job I get will just negate my benefits and I won't be any better off for working."

Her reply (sorry for any of those bored by all this stuff!!).......

"Yes I do fully understand all your reasons and it was really good that you waited and found her what sounds like a really good home for her, from the photos she has made herself at home. Believe me I know just how much it costs having dogs. It is awful when they are ill and vets more or less leave you with no option but to pay. I think the option they give amounts to blackmail as they know it is a family pet. I think you have done the right thing and she will be fine and you don’t need the added worry."

Pleased that I stuck up for myself in a way that won't cause WWIII!


Well done for sticking up for yourself & in what you did purple. Don't think your exmil could really argue with all rational your e-mail was. Maybe it will make her think of how unfair her son is being about everything..maybe..maybe not! Glad that things seem to be positive & hope you & dc all have a nice, relaxing holiday x

determinedma Mon 01-Apr-13 13:49:56

Well done purps on putting MIL straight.
Nothing much doing here. Been for a walk to get out of the house and try to kick start some exercise. Hate being off work while DH is here too. Bloody football on all the time and the undercurrent that things might blow any time. However, on the surface all is reasonably calm.
curry loved your line about being at the bottom of the shit chute.

Mouseface Mon 01-Apr-13 15:12:30

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Ma - not great news re your bro sad sorry that you had such a great day which was clouded by the possability that he's fucked up again. xx

Purps - tell her from ME to Get To Fuck. It's just past Fucking Cowbag Avenue, near to Fucking Twats Villas. She'll fit right in! Stupid cow. Talk about kicking someone when they are trying to do the best for everyone. Grrrr.

Curry - I must have missed why you only have the one bed and are having to sleep with DP. Are you okay sweets? I'm sorry you feel so fed up.

Your line Being a woman in a family house is like being at the bottom of a chute of shit. - what did you mean by that? Are you feeling under pressure to be all things to all people?

venus - great to see you lovely xx

Clutter - you are doing so well! Huge hurrah's for you!! xx

Well, last night was a shite one here, Nemo was up for about 3 hours with a sore tummy, managed to puke and then did the BIGGEST TRUMP you have ever heard! I rofld for ages and he sis too. The he said "Mamam, I think I just blew my tummy ache away out of the bed, where will it go?" I roared even more at that one. He went back to sleep after that so his poor little tum must have been so super sore.

We got up at 11.20am!! shock so our day is a good few hours behind, I need to go food shopping but don't want to. DH is D.I.FUCKING.Y.ING AGAIN. I even said to him, "I like to do a bit of painting, maybe I could do some?"

I NEED A BREAK. But after Easter, life is going to be bloody hard as I have got to start leaving Nemo at preschool no matter what so, I should really make the most of my time with him now.

Right, best stick my face on as not scare the Great Unwashed.

Back later Babes xxx

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 15:33:57

Oh, Mouse! Love you to bits!! Thank you for making me laugh out loud! She is THE most judgemental old bag I've ever met (and she does a social services sort of job for the services families in Cyprus!!??) and happily ignores any shortcomings on the part of her or her's!!

Hope you get some 'catch-up' sleep and maybe even a bit of painting (bloody mad woman!). Nemo will be fine. It may take a while but he will learn that even if you aren't there every minute of the day, you are always with him. xxxxxxx

aliasjoey Mon 01-Apr-13 16:03:00

Will come back later and post properly, but I just wanted to say purple what a bloody FANTASTIC email! Even if your ex-MIL hadn't backed down I bet you were so proud of sticking up for yourself!

I'm sitting here grinning at the thought of you bashing out that email (and I noticed you didn't resort to childish snipes about your ex either, you just stated the FACTS) you deserve a giant Easter Egg for that!

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 17:38:47

Bless! Feeling the love today! Thanks Joey!!! I was proud that I didn't resort to having a go at XP (even though XMIL knows the truth) in my reply e-mail! Would have loved to descend into childish shit but didn't. So happy that my lovely dog is so happy with her new family and that one of her 'Dads' has added me on his FB! I just want them to adopt me and mine, now. Huge hugs Joey! xxxxx

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 17:51:15

And thanks Clutter and Ma. DC seem to to adjusting well to the absence of the dog. XP has always abdicated his responsibilities - hence the lack of any extra contact despite him not working over the Bank Holiday weekend - and him not having them on the usual Tuesday or Friday night! It was so the right thing to do. xxx

determinedma Mon 01-Apr-13 17:55:15

mouse pmsl at the farting fish boy! Bless his poor little tum.
Things OK here - feel a little tense like things are going to blow but no real reason to.

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 17:59:08

Ma "Things are going to blow but no real reason to"!? Can you expand? x

determinedma Mon 01-Apr-13 19:17:59

Just, I never know when something is going to set him off these starts with a few snippy comments and then all hell breaks loose.

aliasjoey Mon 01-Apr-13 19:24:39

"Things are going to blow" oh dear ma is there a bad atmosphere? <not just a reference to Nemo grin >

Well it was a great weekend, both wedding-wise and alcohol-control-wise. Friday night I had NOTHING to drink, even though everyone else was and DH even had a hangover (unusual for him)

Saturday night, I had a couple of glasses of wine, but didn't start til after eating and managed to only have a few.

Yesterday I had no alcohol until early evening, despite being offered (free!) :
1x Bucks Fizz
2x glasses of wine
1x cava

(I did accept the cava, but put it to one side and drank it later)
(And that now makes at least 9 months of NOT drinking during the day, including Christmas smile )

Last night, I had a few glasses of wine, but less than I would have had a year or so ago. It felt a lot more controlled. And clutter you're so right it is starting to feel more 'normal' now, it's a great habit to get into.

Mind you part of the reason I didn't drink as much was we ran out of money! It's been ages since I've had a drink at a pub or restaurant, and I was shocked at the prices. Has alcohol gone up much, or was it just this little (in-the-middle-of-nowhere) hotel? I actually requested a small glass of wine, because I couldn't justify paying £5.15 for a large one! For problem drinkers who are just about in control of it, I believe a tax increase on alcohol WOULD help, it certainly made me think twice - although maybe not for uncontrolled alcoholics, I guess it would make no difference to them.

Sorry its all me, me, me - I'm just very pleased that we had a great time, and I didn't embarass myself or do anything stupid. smile

PS. Me: the problem is, I like a drink, but I'm also a cheapskate Scot and I'm not paying over £5 for a glass of wine!
DH: that's why the Scots invented whisky

Mouseface Mon 01-Apr-13 21:12:24

Just popping in to say goodnight to you all. Nemo is now refusing sleep as he's been up so late this morning, that of course he's not tired!

Be back tomorrow and hopefully with some degree of normality! It's going to be a long night but at least my house is starting to look lovely and how I would like it too. DH is working hard, I just wish Nemo would give me some space.

Oh well, <puts big girl pants on> off to bed for the fish and me, then once he's asleep, down for some Mr Creek! I love JC. Simple things and all that.

Joey - well done xxxxxx

Night all xxxxx

Well done Joey, sounds like you did really well. It's a great feeling to know you can enjoy yourself & then not feel the guilt & shame next day! Think hotels & function places crank up the prices, shocking when they probably buy in bulk & the bottle probably cost them about £2, big business in the nations addictions!
Hope you get some sleep mouse & have some nice days with Nemo before the challenge of next week.
Night night babes xx

Night night lovely Babes.
I have had the first sober easter in adult memory (mine, not everyones'...I am not that old) and am in bed hiding from the WW at the end of day 5

Took the DTs to the Moscow state circus today...hmm DT2 was terrified at the very loud music. Man with bullwhip and very creepy clown. £42 quid to terrify your children and leave after 10 minutes. ..bargain!

Hope everyone sleeps well and lots of love and best wishes to any Babes out there struggling tonight. Xx

PurpleWolfe Mon 01-Apr-13 22:13:57

Such a shame Isinde but did make me laugh! I hate clowns too!

fullofhopefullness Mon 01-Apr-13 23:04:26

Going to start again tomorrow. Going to try for all days and no ww at all. Just had my last glass (bottle!) And it tasted horrible! Acarr is right I get nothing from it at all. Just about to watch the other acarr-russell brand is on it.

Morning babes. If not an actual boing then certainly a clear head and the wonderful absence of that cringing guilt I have on waking after drinking loads.

So off to make breakfast and get some work done today!

Love to all

PurpleWolfe Tue 02-Apr-13 08:43:11

Isn't that strange, Full when it taste horrible and we still drink it?! Russell Brand was great, wasn't he? Good luck for today.

Well done Isinde. Cringing guilt is a killer.

Off to take DS2 back to the doctors for the 4th time for the same sores on his little face. It's been about 6 weeks now and they still haven't got to the bottom of the problem. He's now got two big sores that just seems to keep growing and I'm worried that he's going to have scars. Sorry, I forgot who it was gave me a suggestion of, was it, impetigo? The sores are on his cheek and on his chin - so not really mouth and nose. I think I'm going to have to do some of my own research.

<waves to Joey Baby Green Ma (how's DB atm?) and all the other Babes and hopes Mouse got some sleep?>

babyjane1 Tue 02-Apr-13 09:41:07

Morning babes, sorry not been on, it's been all go here with kids over the holidays, had a wee blip at the weekend but nothing major and sticking to the ODAAT concept, sunny day in Scotland, off swimming with the girls and will check in later x x x x

curryeater Tue 02-Apr-13 09:54:57

Happy Eastertide, dear Babes

Mouse, well done on your Easter Monday lie-in! I call that a result.
We have one bed because we are moving house on Friday and DP has dismantled the bed in the spare room (he has no other time between now and Friday), which he often (or usually recently) slept in – initially a coping mechanism designed to work with night-waking babies and his night-time writing – then it became a sort of habit. But it’s fine. It’s good for us to be together. It makes me tired but so what. It’s ok.

Purple, well done for standing up for yourself. You often hear advice to “let things go” but sometimes something need to be said – and it worked! Hurray!

Also – about DS2’s skin – I feel your pain. Dd1 and I are both prone to skin things and it is annoying when the GP will fob you off instead of trying to find out what it is. It is so frustrating when they don’t seem to think they have a responsibility to get to the bottom of very annoying, disfiguring and uncomfortable things that will not actually kill you.
I think you can get impetigo anywhere, I have had it on an ear lobe. You do need anti-b’s to get rid of it, and the spreading sores sound like that is what they could be – it will spread till you treat it. Mine looked completely disgusting btw but healed at once when treated and did not scar in the slightest, so don’t worry about that. Has he had a lot of colds? How old is he? Might he (excuse disgustingness) have smeared snot onto slightly chapped skin?

Isinde – well done.

Hope you are ok, Ma?

Clutter – you are an inspiration.

I am still not doing too well. Counted up the units for the week and am not happy about it, second week running. Need to get into the new house, breathe, and calm down.

Have a good week everyone

determinedma Tue 02-Apr-13 10:14:29

purple it does sound like impetigo to me. Ds had it before and it looks horrible but responds well to treatment. Dh is just back from the docs with a sick line for another two weeks, due to his "depression". Another two shitting weeks of him being here 24 hours a day. Plenty of time for him to start taking it out on dd.....ffs!

curryeater Tue 02-Apr-13 10:21:39

Oh god Ma, that sounds horrific. Does he take anything for the depression?

Fairenuff Tue 02-Apr-13 10:29:00

Morning all.

Sun is shining, time to crack on with some spring cleaning and work off the chocolate excess smile

Actually, I've had hardly any chocolate, just some peanut m&ms and five mini creme eggs. I just didn't fancy any. Lots of lovely turkey roast and veg though.

Now, I've only just joined this thread and it's 9 pages in already, so not read back. Hope everyone is ok and ready to face the day.

Ma oh bugger! Is he doing it on purpose, do you think, because the rest of you are off? Just try to be out of the house as much as possible x

Purple my dd had impetigo on her bottom, so you certainly can get it anywhere! It's highly contagious too but I would be surprised if the gp didn't spot it, it's quite common.

Isinde lovely to see you posting again x

Waves to all. Back later, off to start the cleaning shock grin

obrigada Tue 02-Apr-13 10:55:46

Morning all, like baby I had a wee blip on Friday night but didn't let it ruin the rest of the weekendsmile

Hello lovely babes
I agree to the impetigo thing. DT2 had it a while back and had a nasty sore on her face. No obviousl scarring now.
Although it is sooo common I would be worried if my GP had not picked it up tbh.

Mouseface Tue 02-Apr-13 11:54:38

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Just off for a hair cut..... I keep falling asleep, think it's an increase in my meds. I am sat here with Nemo snuggled up and nodding off.

Be back later smile xx

PurpleWolfe Tue 02-Apr-13 12:50:26

Oh, Ma I really feel for you. XP and I used to avoid each other which was easy on days he was at work (most days) but if he had a day at home and I couldn't get out it was pure torture. I used to spent most of my time 'holed up' in my bedroom. Is there something you and DD can find to do to get you out of the house? Day trips, swimming, spa? Will be thinking of you. x

Thanks, all, for the info on impetigo. I've done some reading and it does look like impetigo but he's been given 2 different lots of antibiotics which should have easily sorted the problem. Went back today and saw a different doctor who, more or less, said that it was good that he was OK in himself (he missed the bit where I said he wasn't eating well and was generally under the weather then?!) and said these things sometimes 'just take time to heal'!! No way, you stupid man! 7 weeks and they are fucking worse!!! After I didn't smile, nod, say thank you and leave, he said perhaps he could do a swab. Don't see how anything will show up, the scabs are totally dry. So, I had to agree to the 48hr+ wait on the results but said he really needed some other cream to ease the sores. He gave me the prescription which I took to a chemist in another village (nowhere to park where we were) and found he's given DS2 more oral antibiotics - no frigging cream!!! (I'm not racist at all but it's a fact he was foreign and communication wasn't that easy!) I just cried! What the fuck do you have to do to get someone to take notice!?

Anyway, when I got home I phoned the surgery and asked for a call-back from the duty doctor (today this is the Dr I see about the alcohol problem - she's really good) I told her how unhappy I am with all this delay (and the lack of the cream we asked for!) so he's got yet another appointment tomorrow morning with the 12 year old doctor he saw on the 2nd and 3rd visit. The rationale is that she's seen his sores before so will know how big they've got. I just want to scream. We are away for a week on Saturday so, if we don't get the swab results back (which is unlikely) and whatever we're given tomorrow doesn't work - that'll be nearly 9 weeks that he's been struggling with this.

If I don't get some proper answers/treatment/understanding I'm going back on Friday too! In fact, I think I'll get a tent and bloody camp there 'til I get some answers.

Thanks for the comment re: XMIL Curry Good job it wasn't today I replied cos' I is lookin' for someone to rip to pieces right now! shock

Happy Easter to everyone. Don't fall asleep having your hair cut Mouse! You may end up a baldy!! xxx

Hi Purple that just sounds like a right farce! Poor you (and him poor wee man) We used Fucidin cream which really helped ease the itching. You need a prescription for it but your GP should have given you that as a first stage treatment. Doesn't sound like a great GP experience all round!

PurpleWolfe Tue 02-Apr-13 14:19:43

Thanks for the info Isinde We have been using Fucidin cream for at least 5 of the past 7 weeks and it's not making any difference sad (Strangely enough, that was exactly the same cream prescribed by the vet for the dog before she left too!) I suppose that there are good things that come of having a GP's practice with several doctors - if the first one doesn't spot something/sort something, maybe the next one you see will but also you lose out on the continuation of treatment. On the other hand, if you only have one doctor and he/she can't see something - then you're buggered! I have to say, though, that our GP's practice is normally really good and the two recent doctors are new/locums.

aliasjoey Tue 02-Apr-13 14:20:14

purple think you ought to have had a referral to a dermatologist by now?

I know what you're going through - my DD had some weird spots from the middle of August until January and at times we were tearing our hair out. They were really itchy too and very scabby and noticeable - she was embarrassed to go swimming in front of her class-mates. We eventually found out we had bird mites (we did some detective work - the doctors just kept suggesting they were flea bites ?! when they clearly were NOT)

Eurax for general itching, an anithistamine maybe ?

PurpleWolfe Tue 02-Apr-13 14:33:51

I remember The Bird Mite Saga! You poor things! We've also struggled here with dog fleas (before Libby went) and also we discovered poor DS2 has had thread worms (treated straight away) during all this too. Have told the Docs about all this extra stuff but they've ruled out their involvement in his sores. I've done some research on both......errrr...problems and their possible side effects and can't find anything that matches either. How crazy it it that I'm hoping the swabs turn something up? I guess I really have to wait for the results on those first. Hoping I can get the docs to send any prescription he needs to a pharmacist near us on holiay in Cornwall. We just need answers - just like you did Joey. xxx

PurpleWolfe Tue 02-Apr-13 14:36:15

PS ALL family treated for thread worms despite lack of evidence and lots of moaning from small people - bloody yuk!

determinedma Tue 02-Apr-13 15:40:58

Been out for a walk. Got friend visiting now so someone to talk to.
Taking dd to Physio later...still waiting for hospital appt for her. Phoned gp again today but couldn't get hold of him...trying to get things moving on the NHS is hopeless.

Lemonylemon Tue 02-Apr-13 15:45:13

Afternoon All!

Purps it was me wot googled about impetigo. My sister and her two DCs had it at one time. Hope that you get some bloody satisfactory answers/treatment this time.

The Lemon house has also recently been treated for threadworm courtesy of DD. Yeugh.....

Well done all babes who managed a sober Easter. I did not. But I didn't go overboard either. Had a very relaxing time with the DC's and we all really had a lot of fun/chilling which was lovely. I so needed it. I was up and about at 7.45 on Sunday morning, attending to my kitchen.......

Isinde £42 for 10 minutes - eek!

Mouse Nemo's exploding tum sounded very funny grin

Hi Lemony, sounds like you had a lovely Easter, spending time with your family & chilling....just what's needed!
Aw thank you Curry, so not inspirational but was just so so fed up with feeling trapped in a life that was causing me lots of upset trough alcohol. Good luck with your move, such a stressful thing to go through, hope you get into new house soon & can relax smile
Hi BabyJane, hope you had a nice swim with your girls & can not beat yourself up over blip at the weekend.

Waves to all babes fullofhope, mouse, purple, isinde, alias, MA, faire, obrigada & everyone else
X x x

determinedma Tue 02-Apr-13 20:09:54

Omg, a friend has just sent me a job to apply for. Salary starts at £43k! I can't get my head around possibly earning that kind of money! However, I have read the job spec and don't think I could do it anyway.....

Fairenuff Tue 02-Apr-13 20:13:10

ma nothing ventured, nothing gained. What have you got to lose? Just fill out an application and see what happens. If you're not right for the job they won't call you for interview. No harm done.

PurpleWolfe Tue 02-Apr-13 20:18:21

Ma Give it your best shot Hun!! You have nothing to lose! Think of the autonomy you would have with that extra money. We all downplay our own assets and qualities. Do it - AND DO IT NOW!! Why - BECAUSE I SAY SO!! grin I once went for a PA job that my friend had 'bigged' me up for (she worked for Blue Arrow at the time). This job was twice what I was earning and I only went because my friend is such a bully (in the best possible way!) and got the job!!! Do it, do it, do it! Post back on here when you have filled in the necessary paperwork. Get on with it now! xxxxx

MA, do it, do it! Completely agree you've nothing to lose & as Faire said if your not right on paper they won't call you for interview. Maybe this is fate & would be your ticket to affordable freedom!

ma I have met/know/worked with a huge long list of idiots not-so-brilliant people who earn in excess of £43K. GO FOR IT! You are only going to know if you try aren't you? Do

Right, had a bloody battle on tonight but think I have weathered the storm. Had the strongest craving for a bottle of white wine from about 6.30 til around 9.00.

Think it has gone now so creeping down from office to talk to DP and watch a spot of telly before bed,

Day done. ODAAT eh?

Love to all x

greeneyed Tue 02-Apr-13 21:32:50

<slips quietly back on to the bus>

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 02-Apr-13 21:43:00

Day 3, lurking a bit as on 4th beer sad trying to test myself...

FuzzyInTheMorning Tue 02-Apr-13 21:43:23

Not going to work is it? X

venusandmars Tue 02-Apr-13 22:00:38

ma if your friend sent you the job stuff, then it's because she knows you and she thinks that you can do it. And hey, was it not you who held the fort and had all the responsibility when your previous boss left (and I think you did it well).

I bet you could do the huge, vast majority of the job, and that if your back was against the wall you could do the rest too.

PurpleWolfe Tue 02-Apr-13 22:01:29

<waves through the windows to Joey on the bus as she slip into her well worn seat in the side car sad )

venusandmars Tue 02-Apr-13 22:06:53

Hi fuzzy, so what's the test? Do 4 cans of beer taste good? Do 4 cans of beer make you feel good? Do you feel happier at the end of 4 than you did at the end of 1? Could yopu stop after 1 or 2 or 3? Can you drink 4 cans and wake up feeling fine? Can you have 4 cans tonight and then drink none tomorrow?

(PS I used to be a scientist, so I want to know what you're testing before we comment on the results grin )

Well actually there are still some thing you can test:
Do 4 cans of beer make you feel good? Answer: no
Can you drink 4 cans and wake up feeling fine? Answer: No
Can you have 4 cans tonight and then drink none tmorrow? Yes. Yes, Yes, YES, YES, YES!!!!!

The 4 cans tonight don't need to spoil things for tomorrow, you can start again, and try a different experiment:
Do I feel good going to bed sober? Do I feel pleased that I'm waking up with no trace of a hangover? Am I willing to try again for another day?

fullofhopefullness Tue 02-Apr-13 23:07:56

Hi there - good luck to everyone and thx for good wishes earlier! Ive successfully navigated through day 1 in a happy way. Might have new book to recommend once ive finished it. I have a good feeling about its benefits - I will keep you posted on that.

determinedma Tue 02-Apr-13 23:12:48

Hey green good to see you again

FuzzyInTheMorning Wed 03-Apr-13 00:32:37

venus no it's shit but I have learnt something,I am definitely only Fuzzy when drunk, sober I am utterly boring...sad not even funny smile why??? Do I do this?? Honestly I need SLAA because I crave attention when drunk sad I am useless ...

FuzzyInTheMorning Wed 03-Apr-13 00:34:18

Why??? Don't even like sex but crave attention?!!
Hate myself...

FuzzyInTheMorning Wed 03-Apr-13 00:35:20

Too late to brush my teeth ?;)

FuzzyInTheMorning Wed 03-Apr-13 00:38:54

I hate myself x

PurpleWolfe Wed 03-Apr-13 09:03:50

Hey Fuzzy Looks like you had a bad time last night. Want to tell us a bit more about it? x

Lemonylemon Wed 03-Apr-13 09:13:31

Morning all.....

<Lemony tentatively steps from the side car onto the bus> DAY 1.

Fuzzy {{HUG}} You OK this morning?

ma You HAVE to go for the job!! grin

purps how's the boy?

Isinde well done on winning your 3 hour battle with the ww...

<<Lemony waves to all you other babes>>

curryeater Wed 03-Apr-13 09:25:36

Morning. Well done isinde. Great night's work there from you.

Ma - I am waving pom poms for your job application. DO IT! If only so you have somewhere nice to go and meet new people while your husband mopes around at home ;)

Fuzzy, talk to us...?

Lemony, how are you?

hi venus, hi fullof, hi purple, hi everyone

Not doing so well here. Pissed off with dp. The house move is stressy, work is stressy, just feeling like everything is on top of me. I am going to get off mn, put some headphones on and crack through some tasks that I can cross off my list before timewaster boss gets here. I have 4 days off for the move and I can't cope with the way she comes and sits by my desk and EMOTES about things while I can feel work mounting up.

Please advise, wise babes: if a person is your boss and therefore has to be spoken to in a certain way, how would you phrase something to the effect of: "Do you have something in particular to say about this, because if not, I need to get on with something else?"

Right off to work, shoot me if I come back.

PurpleWolfe Wed 03-Apr-13 09:38:37

Morning Lemony Huge luck on day one.

News from Purple Towers ain't good. I've picked DC up from their Dad's and it looks like DS1 also now has a sore starting in the corner of his mouth. Plus, I have a small 'spot' just under my nose which, I've just realised, has been there for days now and isn't clearing up! So, that's potentially three of us with this 'thing'! It's sounding more and more like impetigo. Table thumping starts at 11.20am today.

DD is in an odd mood. Think it must be the dog thing. Have hugged her lots and tried to be understanding.

I really need to try and get back on The Bus. I've been really crap recently. I keep telling myself 'Oh, once _ _ _ _ _ is over' I'll stop again but there always seems to be yet another '_ _ _ _ _ ' to get past before I pull a stop to this madness. Was pleased that, although I cancelled my last appointment with the Alcohol Services nurse (DS2 to the docs took precedence), she phoned me to chase me up to make another appointment as soon as I get back from holiday. She was sympathetic about the abortive AA meeting but said that since I'm seeing her on the Wednesday, I can get to a meeting on the Tuesday (DC free evening) and report back to her at our appointment.

Have put all the weight back on that I lost before Christmas and feeling pretty shitty.

Fuzzy Let us know you are OK? x

PurpleWolfe Wed 03-Apr-13 10:20:45

Curry Do you have a friend/colleague in the office who could watch out for your boss to approach you then 'phone you up. You could look up apologetically and say "Sorry, I have to take this"? Or,"Would you mind if we discussed this later as I'm a bit snowed under/busy at the moment" followed by a winning smile? grin

You have my sympathy re: the move and stress. You are already making lists - which is great. How about trying to 'book' half an hour every day just for a bath, listening to music or reading something. The more relaxed you can get yourself, the more productive you'll be. When I'm stressed, I run round like a headless chicken and don't get nearly as much done. Good luck. x

Fairenuff Wed 03-Apr-13 10:39:28

Curry how about saying something like 'Look I'd love to chat about this with you later but I really need to get on with work now, or my boss will be after me' hahaha and then get your head down.

If she doesn't take the hint be more specific - 'You know I've got time off for the move? Well I really need to get this done first, so I'd better crack on'. Smile. Get your head down. Repeat as often as necessary.

Fuzzy have a (((hug))). You know what, none of us are particularly funny when drunk. And some of us are downright embarrassing grin

Water and paracetamol are waiting for you here on the bus. Or we could oil Barry if you prefer. By the way, is he still with us or did I miss the bit where he disappeared?

hmm Hunts under seats for my mate Bazza

Fuzzy, how are you feeling today honey? Thinking of you x
Yay lemony, climb aboard the bus, plenty space here beside me, good luck with Day 1.
Curry, feel your pain, I always have everyone at work coming up to me & have yet to discover a polite way to tell them to buzz off. I've got to go into work this Saturday to do a report even tho I'm on annual leave as too distracted & can't et it done when in work!!
Aw no purple, not sounding good with the rash spreading round you all, hope you can get something resolved before you go on holiday.

I've finished the Allen Carr book & he recommends that you have one final drink to say goodbye to booze. I've kinda not been wanting to do this as have not had a drink since the start of February but feel I've followed all he's said & thought better do this.
All I've got in the cupboard is sherry & Morgan's spiced. So like a compete lush just poured myself a shot of Morgan's spiced. Oh my god, it was vile I almost brought it back up instantly. I can see where he is coming from. That is a better memory for me to look back on than the champagne & rose wine I had at my friends at the start of February! It was so awful!
Good luck with today babes xx

guggenheim Wed 03-Apr-13 14:03:14

Hi babes Just checking in. clutter WOW! I'm so impressed,A carr has really worked out for you smile great news.
ma DO IT,DO IT,DO It! You are so worth it.

I feel weird,weird,weird today. Went to my meeting last night and it was just odd. It ended with a women making a really strange 'joke' to me at the end, after the meeting. I dunno. I've done 3 months and have no intention of drinking,so my stupid brain probably thinks I'm cured. I keep thinking,'I wasn't that bad, I don't need to be here' and then someone will say something odd and I start to think about skipping meetings. I've met some fantastic people too though. I dunno. I'll try going to a different meeting and see how that works out.

PurpleWolfe Wed 03-Apr-13 14:14:34

Guggs Intrigued as to what the weird 'joke' was and why you feel weird. Care to expand? 3 months is totally bloody admirable - as is getting yourself to meetings!! You done amazingly! x

PurpleWolfe Wed 03-Apr-13 14:25:26

(Brief update on the Purple family health for anyone still awake with the saga: Same Fucidin cream but this time with a mild steroid added. Hopefully swab results back tomorrow - then maybe a more focussed medical approach. Plus £60 supermarket vouchers from XMIL for our holiday next week! Lovely gesture but I can't help thinking - guilt money?! grin )

Hi Babes. I am sick! Goddammit! I was feeling really weird last night after declaring that the WW had been beat. I sat down with a nice glass of sparkling water and lime juice and thought "I feel must be the detox or anxiety or suchlike" I them went to bed at 11. DT2 woke vomiting at 2.30. Cleaned her up and fresh sheets and back to sleep then 4.15 it was my turn! hmm
At the risk of TMI I know know what it feels liek to have a truly, completely and utterly empty sysem. grin

AM shakey and weak as a kitten so am off to bed now. Have done urgent work so justifying sick-note-to-self

Guggs Don't worry my lovely and just go to another meeting. AA is great but they are only folk like us and some meetings have a better dyamic than others in the same way that some groups anywhere can have a better dynamic than others. 3 months is wonderful. I am sure someone on here once said to be ruthless in protecting your own sobriety. If you feel uncomfortable I would find another meeting.

Purps guilt money carries the same financial value as any other! Spend it on something yummy!

System not idea what one of those is..

determinedma Wed 03-Apr-13 18:19:17

Hi all. Sorry you are sick indie. Good to see you back on the bus. I plan to climb aboard again once visitors have gone. Have started walking again - been out every day so far this week.
Will look at the job description again in more undecided. But it was my previous boss - the nice one - who sent it to me. he says I can do it and he will gives me a reference.....
Sorry not to reply to all. purple hope all the scabby ones are on the mend

guggenheim Wed 03-Apr-13 18:40:40

Hi lovely babes,

You are very right wiiissseee (if ill) women of the bus! I had a long chat with my lovely sponsor and I just think that that particular meeting isn't the right one for me. I'll go sometimes but not all the time. Something didn't quite gel,no idea what but I shall be fearless in my pursuit of easter eggs- no wait- sobriety.

Hope isinde and purple's dc are feeling better soon.

ma if a boss thinks you can do it then you can, he/she knows what you're capable of. Have a long think of those long walks smile

sorry lot's of sicky little ones and big ones, sounds like the noravirus, I've had that before....vile, vile, vile....hope you feel better soon isinde.
Hope you can go back to the group Guggs and its ok, maybe that woman was having a weird off day. 3 months is amazing, well done!!
Good luck tonight babes beating the ww xx

greeneyed Wed 03-Apr-13 19:26:18

curry shit chute comment, I can totally relate. Ma if you don't apply for that job I am sending Barry round!

curryeater Wed 03-Apr-13 19:39:15

Ma, if it was an old boss who thinks you could do it, you should apply, it is the law

I agree with curry !

Fairenuff Wed 03-Apr-13 21:04:08

Hope all the poorly people are taking good care of themselves.

Ma I remember your lovely old boss (and the email mix-up re norkage grin). Just bung in an application and forget about it.

Good to hear you're getting out walking. All part of the 'new you' which is starting to tentatively emerge I reckon x

So far today I've had a friend saying she's going to pop round on Friday and bring a bottle for us to celebrate our Birthday's, this is a friend I've been friends with since we were 8 and we always get a bottle of something...told her I'm happy to celebrate but no vino for me.

Then another friend messaged to say she can't wait to have a few drinks with me in May for my leaving do.

Another friend saying no point making a plan to meet with me the day after my leaving do as in her words the 'vino queen' will be dying!

Before the Bus, Alcohol Counsellor,Allen Carr I would have been worried about these situations and thinking I was missing out by not drinking, but slowly slowly seeing that I'm not missing out but gaining. Also think a lot of the girl in the video that Green posted about alcohol being a depressant, really struck a cord with me.

Night night babes xx

Actually cross out last thought....before the bus, alcohol counsellor, Allen Carr I wouldn't have felt like I was missing out by not drinking because I just couldn't of gone to something and not drank. Then my friends comments would be right, I would go, get absolutely blotto, embarrass myself, be out of commission for days and take a few days of sick. Think I like the thought of having the days and no shame at the other side of a night out. Anyway sorry for waffling on a bit. Night night babes x

fullofhopefullness Wed 03-Apr-13 21:49:24

Well done-3 months-youve got it beat!! Im day 2 but want to get there. Bad ear inf atm. Stoppinb me even thinking of ww. Lots of not wellness about. Good luck all.

curryeater Wed 03-Apr-13 21:58:15

'ckin inspiration, curry x

curryeater Wed 03-Apr-13 22:09:59

I mean clutter! Now I am bigging myself up!

determinedma Wed 03-Apr-13 22:14:58

faire omg can't believe you remember that email! It is STILL the most embarrassing thing I have ever done. <cringes at the memory>

green how very dare you threaten me with Barry?
Where is the creature anyway?

guggenheim Wed 03-Apr-13 22:16:15

I'm handing barry a large number of glittery,pom poms,so as he can do a cheerleader dance for ma,using all tentacles at once,and at speed.

Go ma,go ma,go ma!

Also I think that some of the babes are able to offer useful interview/application advice. not just dancing squid.

clutter massive hugs xxxxx Tell the friend coming round on friday and stock up on nice soft drinks. Well done.

hopeful I'm a bit worried now,I had that ear infection last week,hope I didn't pass it on. It's horrid! Take lots of pain killer and rest. 2 days is great smile

fullofhopefullness Wed 03-Apr-13 22:20:52

Thx guggs!! Painkillers and bed just now. Hope I didnt pass it onto anyone else here ??

Tee hee Ma I remember email - gate too! I think i spat tea over my keyboards at that one! Definately apply lovely.

Pm me if you want a second opinion on the application lovely mate. Xx

Night all day 7 done. Been a long time since I have had a fully dry week. <<looks admiringly at the sober babes and aspires....>>


determinedma Wed 03-Apr-13 22:35:26

Lol at dancing squid. Well guys, I've really done it. My sister and my visiting friend challenged me to run a 10k in London in August. My sis has done a half marathon, friend has done a full marathon. They are both size 10.
I am a size 16 and have run a maximum of 5k. I don't think they realise how unfair the challenge is and how huge it is for me. But pride kicked in, and I said yes! WTF have I done?

guggenheim Wed 03-Apr-13 22:38:56

ma you can do it smile

isinde well done on the week,hope you are all well now.

hope it was a shocker. Get loads of rest and don't stray too far from the ibuprophen.

night lovely babes

determinedma Wed 03-Apr-13 22:45:02

indie congrats on one week. I will have to stop boozing if I am going to do this challenge. The more weight I can lose, the less flubber I have to carry around the race!
I will send you a link to tjhe job spec and see what you think

venusandmars Thu 04-Apr-13 09:09:15

clutter you're sounding great smile

And curry I laughed at your post where you were name-checking yourself grin

ma I've sent you a pm x

Lemonylemon Thu 04-Apr-13 10:25:20

Just a quickie. Day 1 here again. I am being put in an awkward situation at work. They need to make a redundancy and are making things hard, but in a way so as not to be seen to be constructing dismissal. I know I am in the firing line. HR is a bully and a narc to boot. I am scared/worried but nothing I can do. Hence the wine last night.

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 10:52:35

Lemony that's a shocking way to treat a person. Are you looking around for another job anyway? In the meantime, just hang on in there, keep your head down and get on. Don't give them anything that they could use as an excuse to let you go. Hopefully, you will find a better place to work before long x

Ma you've got four months to train, have you worked out a schedule? This will be great for you, I'm so impressed. Yet again, you are inspiring me to get out there and exercise more. You are so brave, 10k, wow! smile

aliasjoey Thu 04-Apr-13 12:15:24

well done guggs

aliasjoey Thu 04-Apr-13 12:19:18

ma please can you tell us about the norkage email!

PurpleWolfe Thu 04-Apr-13 12:57:22

Yes, please do Ma, please! xx

<<sniggers evilly..>>

Yeah Ma tell 'em about the email before some other bastard old timer Babe does it for you! grin

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 13:44:01

Don't make me even think about the norkage email...blush
indie I swear I will set Barry on you if you dare spill.

guggenheim Thu 04-Apr-13 13:54:45

Norkage please! Really ma we're only thinking of you,feel free to share ...

lemony bollocks to him! Are you in a union? Anyhow,do what faire says. x

'lo there joey

aliasjoey Thu 04-Apr-13 14:18:20

Yeah, ma that's what the Bus is about, sharing all our embarrassments, moments of horror, obviously this does not apply only to alcohol!

guggenheim Thu 04-Apr-13 14:39:03

anything you wish to get off your chest then ma?
<concerned,not nosey at all>

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 14:57:19

Oh, you are just never going to let this go are you?
Right, I'm off out for a walk and then I MIGHT relive the most embarrassing moment of my life on an international forum hmm
And don't be too impressed with the 10k thing. 5k isn't even likely to happen unless I get started next week and even then, its going to be a long shot.

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 15:01:19


Intrigued as to "norkage" e-mail...watching with interest!

thurso13 Thu 04-Apr-13 16:08:03

Anyway, as an old timer, I remember the norkage email as ........aargh Ma has walked to Sussex......I won't tell Ma, honest.

Sorry to have been away so long, one thing after another recently, I've had one horrible bug or infection after another, currently on third lot of antibiotics, I couldn't help but think that maybe, in the past, the alcohol was keeping these things at bay hmm, but perhaps being desperate for a large amount of wine on occasion skewed my thinking!

Dc1 came home last weekend to do an "extreme" run with Dh, and dislocated his knee, so is now (this)house bound for the next three weeks. DC2 home on hols from uni, so a full house. It's been reaaly a "moment in time" with us all being together, but also a bit of a shock to the system!! (and the larder, freezer!).We have spent from 10am until 2.30pm at the hospital for more x rays, etc, then back tomorrow.

Love to all
T xxxxx

obrigada Thu 04-Apr-13 16:09:20

Another here who remembers the norkage e-mail wink smile. Hey Thursosmile

fullofhopefullness Thu 04-Apr-13 16:34:46

Hi thurso - its weird that u find that as well. Since cutting way down ive had so many bad bugs and infections as well. Currently have awful ear inf. Is it the body readjusting? I wonder is there a medical reason.

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 16:40:31

Thurso Hello lovely xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ah, you have your babies back, just for a short while. Enjoy the mothering! smile And get baking woman, you have full grown humans to feed grin

(It's amazing what ma's norkage brings out of the woodwork wink)

CocktailQueen Thu 04-Apr-13 17:00:32

Hi ladies
I have a bizarre question re skin turning yellow. A small patch on my neck is looking a bit yellow, and in between my first and second fingers on my right hand. The whites of my eyes and everywhere else is normal. What could this be?? Am terrified to google. Off on holiday tomorrow for a week, otherwise would ring GP.

fullofhopefullness Thu 04-Apr-13 17:03:11

Ps not meaning to put anyone off giving up ! Im still fullofhope smile thought I was dying earlier but starting to feel much better thank heavens!!

fullofhopefullness Thu 04-Apr-13 17:16:25

Is it Possibly a recovering love bite for the one on neck??

CocktailQueen Thu 04-Apr-13 17:17:12

No!! No lovebites smile

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 17:27:03

thurso good to see you!I am shocked that so many of you remember the norkage email.....I will never forget it.
OK, what happened was...we had a posh do at work, gala dinner, black tie etc so I had to buy a posh frock. I don't do dresses anyway, let alone posh ones so was mega stressed. After worrying about looking awful, I sent an email to my friend and poured out all my worries. We offer write to each other in broad scots dialect for a laugh, so it was written like that with lots of swearing. I told her all my worries about being too fat, looking butch, everyone laughing at me. The dress was strapless so I was worried about my norms staying put, and went into considerable details about them along the lines of "what if my tits end up in someone's soup?" Then I referred to the business client when was escorting me as MILFman because he once said I was a MILF...God, I'm sweating reliving all this. Anyway, when I was done I pressed
send......and sent it to my male boss whose name begins in a similar way to my friend. Think Laura and Laurence.
Oh, the SHAME!

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 17:28:16

norks even......

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 17:30:56

thurso good to see you!I am shocked that so many of you remember the norkage email.....I will never forget it.
OK, what happened was...we had a posh do at work, gala dinner, black tie etc so I had to buy a posh frock. I don't do dresses anyway, let alone posh ones so was mega stressed. After worrying about looking awful, I sent an email to my friend and poured out all my worries. We offer write to each other in broad scots dialect for a laugh, so it was written like that with lots of swearing. I told her all my worries about being too fat, looking butch, everyone laughing at me. The dress was strapless so I was worried about my norms staying put, and went into considerable details about them along the lines of "what if my tits end up in someone's soup?" Then I referred to the business client when was escorting me as MILFman because he once said I was a MILF...God, I'm sweating reliving all this. Anyway, when I was done I pressed
send......and sent it to my male boss whose name begins in a similar way to my friend. Think Laura and Laurence.
Oh, the SHAME!

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 17:31:54

Oh fuck, now I've told you all twice!
Look what you've done, making me relive it.

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 17:32:09


Gotta love ya ma

I quite like calling them norms grin

PurpleWolfe Thu 04-Apr-13 17:57:27

Hahahahahaha Ma Thanks for the laugh - twice! xx

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 18:11:07

It was awful. I tried to retrieve it then sent him an email saying he had one in error and please delete it, then I got increasingly drunkupset and sent him one saying oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.....
He sent one back saying PMSL and then was gentlemanly enough never to mention it again for which I LOVE him

PurpleWolfe Thu 04-Apr-13 18:13:12

Bless him! grin xx

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 18:20:51

He truly is an officer and a gentleman, bless him.

aliasjoey Thu 04-Apr-13 18:34:10

Oh dear, can't believe you just posted that TWICE ! Chuckle "norms" grin

guggenheim Thu 04-Apr-13 19:50:05

Love it ma grin tee hee!

ahem, much sympathy to you. Not laughing. oh no. not me ...........! snort.

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 19:53:10

He could have had a FIELD day with it and resisted the temptation to make even one jibe, which must have called for massive restraint, given his sense of humour. I am genuinely grateful because I would have DIED if he had teased me! He was the best boss ever and a lovely man. sniff

PurpleWolfe Thu 04-Apr-13 20:31:28

(For anyone interested: DS2's swab cultures showed the sores are, in fact, impetigo!! They can't answer why the two different prescriptions of antibiotics didn't sort the problem but the good news is that the Fucidin cream with a mild steroid seems to be helping! Hooo fucking rah! Only took nearly 8 weeks! Thanks to all for interest and advice Lovelies. xxxx)

<<laughs so hard at Mathat she goes into a paroxysm of couching and has to rush to the loo for the fifteenth time today>>

Loving the Norms idea Ma

Hey Thurso xxxxxx Sending loads of love and best wishes to you lovely one! Did you deliberately knobble DC1's knee to keep him home?

determinedma Thu 04-Apr-13 21:19:04

Hope you couch yourself silly indie
It was NOT remotely funny and remains a matter of great sensitivity!

PurpleWolfe Thu 04-Apr-13 21:52:02

Sorry lovely Ma, it IS totally funny. We all love you but we are all laughing. xxxx

aliasjoey Thu 04-Apr-13 21:57:57

Good news at last purple !

Feeling fed up here. Gone all tired and exhausted again. What's the point in giving up alcohol, when I don't feel any better? Too lethargic to be cross.

PurpleWolfe Thu 04-Apr-13 22:41:00

(Have posted a photo of my gorgeous re-homed dog (the black one) - who never really liked other dogs (!?) - asleep on the sofa in her new home with her new best friend. It was totally the right thing to do, she has now has constant companionship.... but....we still miss her. Love you Libs xx)

Good morning lovely babes!

After a nearly-whole night's sleep punctuated only once by DT2 doing huge poo ( how can you poo in your sleep??) at 1.30 I am declaring this Nora's Virus thing over!

It is also day 9 which is pretty good going for me as I am normally back in the side car after 4 days. Now the challenge is to survive a whole weekend at my parents without any booze. I dont like them very much and the relationship has always been ery difficult and they are drinkers so the easiest thing in the past has been to numb the whole event with lots of wine....hmm

So, if Immanage to make it through and home on sunday with out drinking any alcohol I will be extremely gobsmacked pleased with myself smile

Some poetry for a hopeful morning

"Lift up your eyes upon
This day breaking for you
Give birth again
To the dream"

Wishing me luck and all of us a beautiful day.

determinedma Fri 05-Apr-13 08:31:52

Day 9 is awesome indie. I am totes impressed. Good luck visiting the parents.
purple can't see your photo but glad she is happy.

right Babes. I need advice from our Babes north of the Border.

I have 2 nights on my own in a hotel in Greenock next week. I plan on getting there late on night one so will be too knackered to do anything other than sleep.

Night 2 is more of a problem...I have just heard that my distraction colleague who I was going to see is not available. Any ideas for sober distractions in Greenock between 6 and 9pm? smile

Morning babes.
Aw MA, your norkage e-mail is classic, it reads like a scene out of Bridget Jones!! Agree that your boss sounds fab for keeping schtum!
Wow signing up for 10k is amazing, huge good luck.
Purple great news on getting to the bottom of skin complaints, hopefully it all clears up now. Brilliant news about Libby, must be such a relief to know you made the right decision!

My crazy boy is driving me crazy!! I suppose I should be glad that he loves me so much and wants to be with me, and chatting to me...ALL THE TIME...but arghhhh!

Wishing all babes strength for the weekend

venusandmars Fri 05-Apr-13 09:17:45

ma are 'norms' an abbreviation of enorm*ou*s ?? grin

venusandmars Fri 05-Apr-13 09:18:15


venusandmars Fri 05-Apr-13 09:18:46

e NORM ou S

Mouseface Fri 05-Apr-13 09:36:47

Morning, tis me, Mouse - reporting from my little nest in the sidecar.

I've not really caught up, other than seeing the 'tits in the soup' email which gave me a much needed grin.

I'm stressing about Nemo going to school after Easter. I'm getting so much conflicting advice on this, that and the other that my head is spinning. I'm scared and upset. I don't want him to have to go through the separation process. Maybe I don't either, want to go through it myself.

I can't go into lots of detail because we're going out for the day soon but I have started to have a drink every night. Not to excess, just a couple of glasses of wine, but it's every night.

My pain levels are through the roof. My emotional state is all over the place, fuelled by alcohol of course. I feel lost and sad. I want Nemo to be happy and safe and sail through these next few weeks but the cynic and depressive in me tells me loud and clear, day in, day out, that he'll struggle big time.

My worry is will they let him cry it out, or tell me. We saw CAMHS yesterday who said that I need to tell preschool this, all of my concerns. He's not like any other little boy that they have had, he's Nemo. And I'm more than aware that I have a skewed view because of how close we are.

She also said that I need to tell him that I am leaving but will be back, not sneak out like preschool have been doing it, as that just confuses him. I'm just so tired.

Sorry to just dump this and run but my head is fucked! I have so much to sort out before Monday............. I need to write yet more lists and deal with them.

Will be back later. Sorry xxxxx

PurpleWolfe Fri 05-Apr-13 09:43:52

Really struggling here today. Got loads to do for holiday tomorrow and DD is being horrible. She seem to really want to hurt me. Said yesterday that she's probably going to sleep on the 6+ hour journey "Oh, I was hoping to have your company - like last year. She came back with "It's not my fault you left Dad and haven't got anyone to help you with the driving!!" (The split was more or less mutual) She forgets - we hardly ever went on holiday because we were permanently broke due to him!! "Nothing ever gets done around here!" Tried, calmly to explain that it's not easy being a single Mum of three on a limited budget with no help and mentioned stress. She scoffed "What have you got to be stressed about?!" Claims she's 'always helping with the washing up'! - About 3 times in two and a half years!! I know, I know she's only 11 and the dog business and everything but why does she have to be so nasty.

Grrrrrrrrr! Sigh, sorry, venting again.

Lemonylemon Fri 05-Apr-13 10:04:04

Morning ladies.

ma .... snurk.... that's made me chuckle. Twice grin. I'm liking "norms".

mouse ah, well, you've hit the dilemma/pain/upset stage we all go through when we have to separate ourselves from our babies - but magnified a thousandfold. {HUG} Keep talking to CAMHS people. They have dealt with a few situations like yours so have a framework to build around, which will help you, DH, DD and Nemo deal with what's ahead. I think her advice of leaving him and telling him you're coming back is very sound. Just disappearing is not so good. You're giving Nemo a base from which to work from (in his mind). You have given him facts. It will be OK, a few hiccoughs to be sure, but it will be OK. You must believe in you, him, and everyone's wish to do the best for you all, especially Nemo. The anticipation of a situation is often much worse than the reality when it arrives..... So stay strong, stay off the wine, stay calm....

purps two words. "Hormones" and "pre-teen". They know right where to hit you so it hurts, little buggers. I still get really hurtful comments and DS is now nearly 16.... I think a mutter about "pocket money" "mobile phone" etc. ought to make her cool her heels a little.

Anyhow, work. I can't say very much. HR is a she and a narcissistic bully. Nuff said. No union - in our business, you're not allowed to join one. ACAS may be the way to go...... But I'm still here, still worried, but still here......

You all have a calm and peaceful weekend if you can. x

aliasjoey Fri 05-Apr-13 10:50:49

purple pre-teens are just horrible sometimes, aren't they? I guess all you can do, is the same as you did when they were toddlers - not get too wound up, repeat the same thing to them over and over (remember how long it took a toddler to grasp something?) and give her security; I suppose it is unsettling at this age when parents divorce and your pet disappears - it may be that she doesn't actually blame YOU, but she needs to find a 'reason' and you end up being the target.

God I don't know if any of that makes sense.

Mouseface Fri 05-Apr-13 11:25:03

I am sure you're right Lemony. In the car so nuking things over. I've bee using alcohol as on the past. I know he will be fine and I can only take it ODAAT.

I am moving my nest into the Bus and digging my big girl pants out. I am the only problem here, my own insecurities and past failings. So. Enough. Thank you Lemony. I have the support there, I need too use it. Start a fresh my way Monday using the tools that SENCO and CAMHS will give me.

<goes off to put pants on and cross wine off shopping list, making sure to practice what she preaches!> smile xx

Mouseface Fri 05-Apr-13 11:27:46

Sorry for typos as on phone. Sure you can work it out! :D xx

Lemonylemon Fri 05-Apr-13 11:30:56

Mouse {HUG} You're not a problem. You're human, dealing with difficult things. Don't be so harsh on yourself. You do fantastically well (hoping I don't sound patronising there).

thurso13 Fri 05-Apr-13 12:19:22

Hello all,
just back from the hospital, not too long a wait this time. Dc just has to rest his leg, but luckily is able to work from home, albeit taking over the house with screens and phones!!
My face feels like a throbbing beacon, due to the wisdom tooth infection, so am now in to stay, out of the horrid weather, for the rest of the day.

Mouse precious girl, don't be so hard on yourself. You have always done the very best for your family,and especially Nemo. Take all the help you can get, and then some. I hope you like the SENDCo at Nemo's school, it makes such a difference if you feel a rapport.
Sending you my love, sweetheart. xxx

Stay warm Babes xxxx

Fairenuff Fri 05-Apr-13 13:21:54

Purple if she's anything like my dd, she will go from callous indifference to loving helpfulness in a heartbeat! It is to do with the age so I must admit I do bite my tongue and wait for the 'other side' to emerge.

Ground rules. No shouting, swearing or being disrespectful to me or any other members of the family. She can have her own opinion, she can express her own opinion appropriately, she can be angry, grumpy, tired, hormonal. But she cannot treat me like dirt.

So, provided she sticks the rules, I let her moodiness go, don't answer back, and when she's ready to include me in her life again I grab it and embrace it and run with it grin

Get yourself some great music for your journey, plan your route well so you don't get stressed finding the way, pack some sweeties and enjoy your road trip. If she sleeps, so be it but she'll most likely join in.

Mouse you are worrying yourself into a state over something that hasn't happened yet. I know you're right, you know Nemo best and it probably will be difficult. But, but, but... it might not.

Practical strategies - make sure the school know how you want them to handle him. I'm sure they will be more than happy to call you if he gets upset and won't leave him to cry it out. That just would not happen in my school.

Can he take a specific special 'something' that belongs to you into school to 'look after' for you? I think professionals call it a 'transference object'. It will help him to feel closer to you.

Does he have everything he needs to help his communication with staff. Pictures, emotion cards, all that sort of thing.

Does he have some way of measuring time, so that he knows when you are coming back. A visual timetable where staff can cross off things that have been done.

I agree that you should say goodbye and not sneak off. But make it quick, bright and breezy. Big smile on your face, big cheery 'Have a lovely time, see you later' and then scarper. (((Blub all you like when you're out of sight))).

When my dd first started nursery, we made up a song along the lines of "Mummy always comes back". With ds we used to sing 'Always There' from the Land before Time - check it out.

< passes brand new, straight from the packet, with super strong elastic (not because of size but for super efficiency), big girl pants >

(I have more if anyone else wants them?)

Isindie 9 days? Is this a new you emerging from the winter's hibernation that we all seem to be stuck in. Will you be signing up for ma's 10k run? Will your parents be so influenced by your abstaination (real word?) that they join you shock ... ok, so maybe that's pushing it a bit too for but, go you!!!

Thurso sorry you are all suffering but glad you get to spend time holed up together. Take it easy x

Venus I loved your e norm ou s pun but what I loved even more was that it took you three attempts to get there, old gimmer!! grin Love ya really. You ok?

determinedma Fri 05-Apr-13 15:40:26

Hey all
mouse nice pants! You and nemo are a team and you both have a role to play here. He has to be a big boy and take some steps in the big wide world, and you have to be a big girl and let him. You CAN do this,and the whole bus will be rooting for you.
Stay strong and get your bony ass out of the sidecar.
indie wtf are you doing in Greenock?

Mouse you've so much to cope with just now. Think the advice from camhs makes sense so you don't feel as though you are abandoning Nemo.
Big girl pants, big deep breaths.,,you can do this! Xx

FuzzyInTheMorning Fri 05-Apr-13 20:26:57

Back after a bad few days, not drinking wise but I learnt a lot from 'that night'. I thought I had some sort of problem ie flirting badly when drunk regretting it awfully the next day and thinking I had a problem with some sort of love/attention addiction. God knows I have every other bloody mental health problem! But I think - without going into long boring detail- my relationship with my DH is over. I search attention elsewhere and drink too much as deeply unhappy. The guy I was flirting with does not want to get involved with a married woman and good on him. He didn't really flirt back I just kept trying to throw myself at him poor sod. It's made me realise that my marriage has been over for a long time, no sex, no respect and sadly noones fault. Just grown apart sad if I was truly happy I wouldn't drink to numb the loneliness and I certainly wouldn't flirt so much. No sex has probably made me frustrated and it has no doubt affected my DH. He can't communicate and I have tried endlessly to make him but sometimes you are just flogging a dead horse. I realised this yesterday, want to be happy and DH deserves the same. He's moving out Monday, he definitely thinks its just until we sort out our problems and maybe it is but pretty sad. Been together 15 years with two small children but need to find myself. Need to start acting my age. I do think I am in a destructive relationship, for us both, and wonder if that's why I drink. Could well be. Thanks for asking after me, just needed to think things through x

FuzzyInTheMorning Fri 05-Apr-13 20:28:23

Oh and I still love him very much but don't fancy him and we have started to be quite nasty to each other. Shame...

determinedma Fri 05-Apr-13 20:53:51

Oh fuzzy hope you can manage to work something out

fullofhopefullness Fri 05-Apr-13 21:02:33

Hi fuzzy it sounds like you know what you want to happen. Theres a certain amount of peace of mind once you make a decision. Good luck with it all.

Mouseface Fri 05-Apr-13 21:44:39

Hello all, we are finally home. Long day of travelling just for lunch, needs must and all that.

I know that drinking won't solve anything and I guess I went to my default setting of numbing the emotional and physical pain that I have been going through over the last few weeks. I need to take my own advice more often!

I also know that he will be fine, my gorgeous little FishBoy He has done it before, been fine. His school (Sept school) SENCO is fantastic and adores Nemo, she's known us as a family for years so that makes me feel reassured, and secure that she 'gets' it. The problem is that there are so many cooks in the fucking kitchen that I have no idea who's in charge! Who to believe, who to trust.


I agree with everything that CAMHS said, she's lovely and agreed with lots of things I'd said, about the sleep (lack of it!) the PTSD, the night terrors, the worries that a boy of 3 has, so very grown up worries sad.

It all got too much, it all just built up and I hit the Fuck It button. Said button has now been put back in it's safe place, under lock and key and normal service has resumed, chocolate is now my weapon of choice again.

I have a lot to do in the next week, admin for Nemo, school, DLA renewal (ARGH!!), just those niggley things that keep us human and make the world go around.

I am sorry for not being honest sooner about the glass every night drinking, I guess because it was only 2/3 glasses, I thought so what but then found myself posting to you guys about stopping whilst swigging a nice Sav Blanc! Hypocrite or what!?

Anyway. I love that you are all so kind and understanding and Faire - I hope with all of my heart that they do not let him cry it out. I am going to do a list for them of what I expect from him, how he'll react and what I would except as reasonable behaviour from them too, in terms of time to call 'Mamam'

He takes his special elephant (Ernie) with him as it is but I do like the idea of him looking after something for me and I guess whilst I'm laminating his day to day stuff for him, I could do one for preschool too.

FFS, this is all just to get him ready for school! All this pressure! All this worry! I know that I have separation issues too, and I'm trying to address them too. I am trying to accept that he WILL be okay without me but for the last almost 4 years, it's always been me. Sometimes DH has made that decision and made it loud and clear, even when I've been at my lowest, most painful version of me..... and sometimes, it's been because it's just been easier for me to fecking do it! grin

So, come Monday 15th April, my little boy will be settled and left, with a firm plan in place only for the next day to have me there much longer as preschool have called a meeting with the new 1 - 1 that will be in Big School with him come September. Oh well, we'll get through it!! grin

On a very serious note, I am going to take it ODAAT. And, if it's okay with you lovely Babes, I'm going to lean on you and my close RL friends and DH to get through all of this.... this that might not happen of course wink

Thank you. Thank you all for being you and for caring even with your own shit to deal with.

Bedtime now, I am going to take some mega pain meds so I can walk tomorrow and enjoy lying down without worrying about reflux, heartburn, needing a wee at 3am, restless sleep and all the other shit that I'd started to suffer from again...... only a couple of weeks, that's all it took. 2/3 weeks of drinking a glass, 2 and maybe 3 each night and BANG, right back to weight gain, chubby face, puffy eyes, jelly belly..... YUK!

Night night xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS - sorry for waffling and any typos, I'm shattered xxx

ThisIsMyTime Fri 05-Apr-13 22:20:50

Fuzzyy thoughts are with you
Mouse dont feel guilty you'll be back on track before you know it
I'm of course on day 1 again just can't seem to get pased damn day 4 I am however proud as this is the first Friday I've been off work and not used the it's the weekend everyone will be having a drink as an exuse to drink

aliasjoey Fri 05-Apr-13 22:56:03

Love the way you're always so honest mouse. I hope you get a good night's sleep.

Mouse, hoping pain meds help you to get a good nights sleep & feel ready to face all your challenges.
So glad your being honest about the effects a few glasses of wine is having on you. I'm starting to get that feeling of "maybe one glass wouldn't do any harm" as now I'm feeling great from not drinking. Reading your message has made me remember some of the reasons why I have been trying so hard to stop. I still have my jelly belly though....that's not fair!! Sleep tight lovely xx

Fuzzy, Sounds like big big changes & lots of soul searching. Wishing you huge strength. I did exactly the same as you but what's funny for me is that now I've not had a drink since the start of February I'm starting to get on with my dh more. Still trying to work out for me what that all means.

Night babes x

PurpleWolfe Sat 06-Apr-13 07:02:05

A very quick 'pop' in. Just of to Cornwall so if you don't hear from me it's because I can't find WiFi/the time/the energy!

Stay well, Babes xxx

Have a wonderful time in cornwall purple x x

Hey lovely mouse. Just sat here watching the sun warm the valley and thinking of you and Nemo.
The DTs are excited as we have been out to see the lambs and the horses and I have insisted we get a wee break and ey eat something before we go out again...days start very early out here in the styx! smile

I think the idea of asking Nemo to be a big boy and look after something for you until you return is a good one. Going to school for the first time is a transition for everyone and all the more so for you and Nemo. It must be so hard my lovely but you know that part of your own wonderful brand of fierce mothering is to want the very best for your boy..and sometimes that is going to mean being ambitious for him in a way that is scary and painful for you.
I am no expert and there are babes on here (can you hear us on the south coast?) who are and they may say differently but from what I have seen of the SEN provision in this area they are very keen on working individually and tailoring support to each child. 20 years ago little ones like Nemo were often held back by a system that just focussed on keeping them safe and managed. Now thankfully the system (where it works) aims to be more ambitious on their behalf and to help them grow and lesrn and develop and to push their own boundaries just as much as any child. Nemo has already got the most wonderful head start and massive advantage in his and Mr Mouse and DD and all his wider and loving family.
Trust yourself, trust him and take, nay demand, all the support you need my lovely wonderful amazing friend.

Sent with love on a bright and frosty morning xx